The Last Rites of Eternal Chaos with Trixie and Katya

5:12Katya Zamolodchikova:Also Sonos. What is your soundbar at home, Mary?

5:16Trixie Mattel:I love everything. That's the problem. I love the JBL.

5:19Katya Zamolodchikova:The Lil Dookie. Yes. I also have a

5:22Trixie Mattel:Polaroid P4, which is their stand-up Bluetooth radio. Love it. I also have... I'd be experimenting. I have some Skullcandy wireless headphones that I have had for five years, probably. Hell yeah. And are in perfect working condition. Wonderful. But all my little headphones are Apple AirPods. Yeah. I would say I lose one every four days.

5:44Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, I would agree with that. And I don't like it. I don't like it. I love those. But I don't like the way they, if you drop your fucking AirPods, they spring load, like fly into the next galaxy. Yeah. They do fly. They fly. And it's really embarrassing.

6:03Trixie Mattel:Yeah, they fly. They'd be flying. They'd be flying. And then my house has speakers in the ceilings. Oh, okay. Vessel.

6:09Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh.

6:10Trixie Mattel:So I do listen to that sometimes. And I got those metagoggles. I like to listen to the radio in those goggles. So I'd be listening to music. I want to be able to have music wherever I know.

6:19Katya Zamolodchikova:Do you have those, do you get that virtual reality thing? Yeah. Tell me about it.

6:24Trixie Mattel:You love it. You're dying for it? I go through phases. So I have two. I have the Oculus Quest 3, which is like the gaming kind of console. And I have the Apple Vision. Okay. So that's the one where you go like, oh. And that's basically, they call it spatial computing. So the idea is you can word process or go on TikTok or look at Twitter or whatever without using your computer. So like if I was sitting here, my Twitter window would be floating out in space in front of me. And I use my fingers to navigate it and click things. You like that? I go through phases.

6:58Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

6:59Trixie Mattel:For a while, my arthritis was really bad. It was great because I could lay down completely flat on the ground and work. Wow. That's grim. I know. I mean, it's nice, but that's sad. But that was nice. And then sometimes, let's say I'm producing, I could have my music production stuff, my library of sounds, my whatever, whatever. You can have like 40 windows all at once. So it's like you have 20 monitors. You're like, oh, I don't like that though. It's chaos. It is chaos. I don't know. I don't think Apple Vision Pro has caught on. No. I follow the Apple Vision Pro Reddit where people candidly talk about like, all right, I've had mine for two years.

7:33Trixie Mattel:Here's what I really think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody says the same thing. like I just don't use it. Yeah. It's not that comfortable. It's a, it's a toaster hanging off my face.

7:41Katya Zamolodchikova:Yep. I, I Mary, when I, when that Oculus thing came out, I was like, well, there I go. Never coming back. I was like porn, 3d porn. I'm going to like, just walk into the woods and never come back. Oh, can't stand it. Can't stand it. Yeah. I don't like the, I don't, I'm like,

7:57Trixie Mattel:I don't like it. Yeah. I mean the Apple vision is, I would say the best thing about it is porn. Really? But is it, If you want to watch porn like at the drive-in on such a massive scale that you feel like, honey, I shrunk the kids and the dick is so big. But I don't. You know what I mean?

8:11Katya Zamolodchikova:We don't like the POV thing where like you look down and there's a wiener.

8:14Trixie Mattel:Oh, yeah. And you're like on a massage table. Yeah, I don't like that.

8:18Katya Zamolodchikova:I do not like that.

8:19Trixie Mattel:Yeah. At that point, have some sex.

8:22Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. Have some sex. Do you think sex is good? I think sex is good. Yeah. It can be even great.

8:29Trixie Mattel:I was talking to somebody who is a drug addict the other day, not you. And I, it was, I, you're not the only cracky in my life, honey. Okay. Damn. I got a whole carousel of you bitches. Carousel of crackers. And when you're not around, I watch Intervention.

8:42Katya Zamolodchikova:Okay. Wait, I'm addicted to smelling my, my dad's underwear. That's not Intervention. That's my strange addiction. That's my strange addiction. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

8:49Trixie Mattel:At this point, I wouldn't say the things you're addicted to in Intervention are strange. It's like fentanyl. Like, it's not strange. Oh, no, no. Yes, yes, yes. Smelling your dad's jeans or whatever is strange. Yeah, my strange addiction. I'm on alcohol. It's like, okay, it's not strange for an addiction.

9:05Katya Zamolodchikova:So how do they make it fresh, those intervention shows? Well, we're on season 25. Well, I guess it just keeps on the gift that keeps on giving.

9:12Trixie Mattel:Unfortunately for us all, addiction is so, that show does show one thing, which is there is no profile for an addict. Oh, no, no, no, no. No profile. All ages, all genders, all generations, all political views, any day of the week, any amount of functioning. some can't feed themselves some work full time still like all over the place and I watch it I used to enjoy it more because there is some sort of shock but they do a good job of it's uplifting and very human because the people a lot of them do the show is maybe their let's see okay the story I'm being told by the show is that for a lot of these people, this show did intervene with a cycle that wasn't working for them.

10:06Trixie Mattel:Their family surrounds them. They go to treatment a lot of times for the first time. I'm not saying it sticks.

10:12Katya Zamolodchikova:It's not a straight line. I'm curious about that part. Did the show start out as exploitative or was it always like... Do you know what I mean? I think it depends who you ask.

10:24Trixie Mattel:I've watched it on and off for years and I can't watch too many because there's, there is this moment, I will say there's this moment. Most of the time when you see them at the end of the episode, they're leaving treatment. Tell Trixie I want to see. Most of the time when they're leaving treatment at the end of the episode, you are seeing them detoxed for the first time. The difference between that person at the beginning and once they're clean, the eye color, the skin color, everything. And so there are these moments of like, oh, wow. And also they talk a lot to the families about the system.

10:58Trixie Mattel:Cause let's be honest, somebody that deep in addiction, somebody's feeding them. Somebody's housing them. Somebody's paying for them. So you're really looking at a lot of times it's family dynamics. This is part of it. What they are really exploring a lot of the times is abuse, parent issues, sibling issues, spousal issues. The drugs is just part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, um, I don't know. I'm not saying it's a great show. I'm not going to say that it's not National Geographic, but the people on it are so candid. It just feels like one of the only reality things that feels real. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:34Katya Zamolodchikova:Damn. I mean, I don't know if you'd like it. I don't think. It's probably a little too shop talky for me. I don't like. It's like, I don't want to go home and watch Drag Race. Yeah. You don't want to go home and watch Intervention. There's like, you didn't see if I had legs, I'd kick you. But it's this movie with Rose Byrne that's got Oscar buzz for her for Best Actress. It is a slog. It's not a feel good film. It's a woman. You watch a woman unravel for two hours and it's so stressful and it's so crazy and it's so like not uncomfortable. And then I was like reading reviews on Letterboxd and it was like, ah, yes, the perfect movie to unwind to after a long day at work because it's literally just like needles in your eyes.

12:16Katya Zamolodchikova:and I'm like, I, oh, I don't know about that. I don't know about that. Like, like difficult, horrible movies. Like, no,

12:30Trixie Mattel:I know what you mean. You know what I mean? And for me, the worse the world is, the more I want departure. And so I have fallen off of intervention over the years because it's, it's the older I get. It's, it's a little much now. Yeah, but every episode doesn't end them dying, does it? No, no, no, no, no. A lot of times, like this whole season, it seemed like they were in Canada. A lot of times it's the first time they've been in treatment. You get them at the end getting out of treatment and you get an update saying like at the time of this airing, the person is still clean, whatever. Or you get that they relapsed and they went back to treatment.

13:01Like you do get like a, I don't know.

13:05Trixie Mattel:I'm not saying it's my favorite show, but I'm saying every few years I'll notice, oh, there's some new episodes and I'll watch like five. And I'll be like, I'm good now for a while. Yeah, yeah. But I'm watching Thousand Pound Sisters, which is similarly, you want to talk in the world of influencer and you want to talk in the world of people moving into a fake house to film their reality show. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. People don't really, it's not their house on TV. Right, right, right. Over here on season six now of Thousand Pound Sisters. Thousand Pound. Thousand Pound Sisters.

13:32Trixie Mattel:So they each weigh a thousand pounds?

13:33Katya Zamolodchikova:No.

13:34Trixie Mattel:Together they weighed a thousand. In the beginning, Amy and Tammy together weighed over a thousand. Damn. Tammy alone I think was 700 when it started.

13:41Katya Zamolodchikova:Ooh, girl.

13:42Trixie Mattel:Tammy now is tiny, tiny, tiny. Tammy's not tiny. Tammy's lost hundreds of pounds.

13:47Katya Zamolodchikova:Hundreds of pounds melting off of Tammy.

13:48Trixie Mattel:So it's a family of very big people, and they're all one by one getting the surge.

13:53Katya Zamolodchikova:Okay.

13:53Trixie Mattel:And so that's a big part of it. But I just want to say, these people are not performing for the camera. They're not doing a bit. They're not getting their hair and makeup done to go shoot a gym scene. Right. They're living. They're just living. They're a real family. They can't fucking stand each other. fierce and they are very critical of each other and they all have the ups and downs with the body stuff um i just love i i like that type of reality i mean 90 day fiance which i love they're choosing to be on it because they want to do jim shark ads yeah yeah of course or whatever yeah there's an ulterior motive there's an ulterior motive which is fine yeah it's like if you love your job you can also expect money i don't think it's the devil totally i mean ever since the the

14:37Katya Zamolodchikova:Netflix Tyra thing came out. Have you noticed everybody doing like, um, every publication is doing a whole thing of like looking back at it. And, um, did you watch it while I was on TV? I surely did on UPN or IGN or whatever.

14:51Trixie Mattel:I remember it being on. Yeah. But only during COVID did I really like, Oh, that's right. Watch it.

14:57Katya Zamolodchikova:I watched like the first 10 seasons in succession during COVID. It's so, it was so wild. And I, I've, I've been like trying to figure out what actually Tyra banks's hot ice cream is and i now i i know what it is now but that whole thing is so wild too the hot ice cream is a metaphor don't you think it's like she's selling this paradoxical thing you didn't ask for it's like it's almost like it's like too heavy-handed it's crazy it's like we're gonna get the hottest girls from small towns and we're not gonna give them any food and we're gonna

15:30Trixie Mattel:swing this grandfather clock thing at them. Like it's fierce. It's awful. It's crazy. You know what? And this is how I know I'm a true faggot. And I don't want anybody at home to be mad at me. But of course the documentary, like I saw an article roundup that was like, how to be a like perpetrating liar in a trench coat for three hours starring Tyra Bank. It was like, I wouldn't say people watch it and I feel redeemed with her. But the problem is I'm still a faggot. What does that mean? And when they were like, isn't she the worst? And they cut to like a 90s runway shot of her. I go, no, she's the hottest.

16:05Trixie Mattel:Like, I just am like, but she is the worst.

16:10Katya Zamolodchikova:Have you ever seen Life Size with Lindsay Lohan? Have you ever watched any of her Tyra Banks show programs? Her talk show? Am I not a Nicki fan? Yeah, of course. When she invited Naomi Campbell with no audience? Yeah. So, so crazy. Crazy. So crazy. But there was a time. Rabies, you know.

16:28Trixie Mattel:But there was a time of that. Remember, Wendy's talk show was crazy. Yes. Bethany Frankel had a crazy talk show. There was a time where they were like, let's get the girls out here and let's get a five-gallon pail and a barn light and get the weird shit on edX cards. Like, really?

16:43Katya Zamolodchikova:I mean, I kind of miss the Wendy cinematic universe. Of course.

16:47Trixie Mattel:Did you ever see—you've seen Omarosa on Wendy, right?

16:51Katya Zamolodchikova:I don't think so.

16:52Trixie Mattel:Omarosa visits the Wendy show. Okay. Is it—do they— It's immediately— Hostile? Immediately. It is immediately hostile. Okay, fierce. It gets so mean. And Wendy's like just trying to show her book. And Omarosa snatches it out of her hand. And she's like, I won't be disrespected. It gets so nuts. And then they start ripping each other's looks. Oh, I think I have. And Wendy's like, I would do a little restling under the eyes. And then Omarosa goes, and I would get a wig that doesn't sit three inches off your head. Which is awful. Which, by the way, for me with Trixie, I'm like, three inches. How about 10, baby?

17:28Trixie Mattel:Yeah.

17:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Like, oh, it's so wild. It's so wild. But I think you could have a talk show. I mean, I would love to. It would be better than Tyra's. You could do like a late, late night. I love you at like an 11. No, like 2 a.m. I'd want to have like, what's her name? USA up all night. Rhonda Shear or something like Elvira, kind of like a slut after hours, really smoky. And just like, you know what I mean? Oh, I would love for you like an Elvira, but you show like your weird shit. Yeah. Or like we just do erotic thrillers. Skinemax kind of, you know what I mean? That would be so awesome. I love a good erotic.

18:09Katya Zamolodchikova:And we just like, we could do, rank it on like how long is the sex scene.

18:14Trixie Mattel:And I'm not talking like Hand That Works a Cradle.

18:16Katya Zamolodchikova:No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Made for Cable Network, Cinemax After Dark. Yes. I'm talking like. Gauze. Yeah, it's Emmanuel in space or like, you know, illicit confessions. What she didn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's all going to, it has to have like to qualify, it has to have like a five minute sex scene.

18:34Trixie Mattel:Maybe we could do it together and then we'll do each, we'll do back and forth and I will be doing lifetime movies. Yes.

18:39Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh my God, it'd be like Siskel and Ebert, but like with smut and schmaltz. That would be so weird. Smut and schmaltz. Smut and schmaltz.

18:53Trixie Mattel:Today's episode of All in the Beautiful is brought to you by HIMSS. He'd already done had HIMSSs. HIMSS can't help you fold a fitted sheet. If HIMSS could do something for me, I would like HIMSS to help me back out of my driveway without hitting the garage door about 40 % of the time. But HIMSS can't do that. But HIMSS can help you with your performance in bed. The thing about ED is I have had it in the past. When I was at my absolute, let's say, transitional time emotionally, it was really hard for me. and this was a symptom of that. And I was able to have access to ED medicine and honestly, it got me back on my feet.

19:27Trixie Mattel:And now I'm back to doing it on my own. But at this time in my life where I needed the care, I was able to get it and it changed everything for me. At HIMSS, it's 100 % online, prescribed by licensed providers with doctor-trusted ingredients and it's all personalized to you. ED is so much more common than you think. And this product, HIMSS, offers treatments It's ranging from personalized products to generics. You know, you shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. And I'm just going to be honest. Some of this stuff is just hard to talk about. I was really only able to talk about this after I got help.

20:01Trixie Mattel:But what I love about it is you don't have to go to the waiting room. You know, forget about you feeling like uncomfortable with this, going to a doctor you never seen. Like you get to do, you get to do this all digitally and you get back to your old self with a hundred percent online access to treatment, which I love to get simple online access to personalized affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more visit hymns.com slash bald. That's hymns.com slash bald for your free online visit. hymns.com slash bald. Today's episode of bald and the beautiful is brought to you by better help.

20:35Trixie Mattel:I mean, listen, at bald and the beautiful every single day is it women's day, but we're going to take a moment to celebrate women and what they carry. Everything, work, relationships, families. I know I carry a very large handbag to make sure my hands look small and the many roles we all hold every day. March includes International Women's Day, which is a moment to celebrate women's strength and progress while also recognizing how much we carry every day between caring for people, managing unseen responsibilities, emotional well-being, chronic illness. I mean, these are all things that can be overlooked.

21:09Trixie Mattel:And it's important to remind everybody, but especially women, how much they matter and how much therapy offers a space to take care of yourself in a way that you deserve. I'm going to take a moment to celebrate the women in my life. And you guys don't know this, but behind the Trixie and Katya team, it's like a lot of women who basically run our entire lives and support us and make sure people can see and hear us and make sure we're fed. Like Tracy and Maddie and all the people around us. Amy, who makes my costumes, who makes costumes out of nothing into something fabulous. Amy and I talk all the time about what's going on in our lives.

21:43Trixie Mattel:And sometimes, you know, it's like we're out here working together to create magic and fantasy while dealing with really real things. And with talk therapy, something I've gained a lot from is it's all about balance. You can't really change things. You can't really change the world some ways, but you can change the way you like handle everything, which I think is like key. Therapy can create balance. It can set healthy boundaries and support overall well-being for everyone. BetterHelp has quality therapists, which follow a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the United States. And plus, there's over 30 ,000 therapists.

22:16Trixie Mattel:So it's a huge platform with client reviews. Six million people globally, and it works. Everything about going to therapy is daunting. And let me tell you, being able to do your first session from your own living room, it is truly, it just lubricates a situation that shouldn't have to be difficult. But sometimes it is. Your emotional well-being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash bald. That's betterhelp.com slash bald. You know, I listened to this week's pod and I, all week I was like, were we too hard? Too hard on who? We let Pam body.

22:51Trixie Mattel:We let her off easy. I listened to it being like, are we fans of hers?

22:54Katya Zamolodchikova:No, that fucking bridge troll needs to get wrecked. I think we were a little nice. We were too nice. We actually were, I think we flatted her even.

23:02Trixie Mattel:And I saw some of the comments were like, finally, I was like, maybe you don't listen hard enough. We jump down bitches' throats every week on this fucking show. I feel like we do. Sometimes we don't say names.

23:14Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. But Pam Bondi, I sure will say out loud, Pamela Bondi. Girl, even Ginger Minj was in there being like, you're lying. Do you know what I mean? Like, Ginger Minj with the senators. Madam Attorney General, you are lying.

23:29Trixie Mattel:And Robbie Turner stood up and said, yeah, she is. Yeah, she is. It's so crazy.

23:35Katya Zamolodchikova:Robbie Turner pulls that Uber into that room, crashes straight through the wall. Crashes, backs right up into it. Girl. Mary. Mary. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Before we get into that. Oh, I saw. I. This. Do you fuck with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre by chance? The movies? Yes. The movie. Of course.

23:55Trixie Mattel:I love the first movie.

23:57Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. The first movie is great. And then there's a there was a remake that's pretty good. But there's been several remakes.

24:02Trixie Mattel:I'm talking about the one with Matthew McConaughey and... Matthew McConaughey? Renee Zellweger. Get out of here. Renee Zellweger is in... Yes, she is. In The Spheres? And it has the best... It's fierce. It has the most amazing... Is that 2003? ...movie poster. It's a girl's lips, and she's holding a lipstick, but the lipstick is a little chainsaw, and where it touches the lips, sparks are flying off. Oh, that's cool. It is so cool. Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger in...

24:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the next generation. The next generation. That's not a remake, sorry. No, no, no, no. You know, I was watching clips. I went down a rabbit hole of Leatherface clips, and I was on YouTube, and I was like, when does he ever gas up his chainsaw? When does he ever gas that bitch up? She got eternal gas in that thing. Cold fusion. It's cold fusion.

24:51Trixie Mattel:It's cold fusion.

24:51Katya Zamolodchikova:Cold fusion. It's cold brew. It's cold fusion. Oh, my God. It runs on Duncan.

24:58Trixie Mattel:Do you know what he means? Runs on Duncan. Yeah, Leatherface's Chainsaw runs on Duncan. It never goes out. So the roof is, and I don't want to get too into it. But you know, Mateo's favorite movie is Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Get out of here. His favorite. He loves it. So what I love about it is when you watch that first movie, it's friends on a road trip, basically. Then they pick up the hitchhiker. That was weird. He cuts himself. That's weird. But mostly the dynamic is like these siblings fighting and like the group squabbling, like friendship.

25:27Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

25:28Trixie Mattel:And then all of a sudden they go into this house. I think they run out of gas or whatever. When that wall opens up, the wall slides open like a door and Leatherface grabs the guy and closes the door back up. And you as a viewer had no warning, no explanation. They really surprise you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's shocking. Because all horror movies happen in the dark. At the end when it's like sunset and she's running, bleeding. Something about dusk, like sunset is scary. It was very scary. It was very scary. The daylight and someone, you're so remote that the daylight don't matter.

26:02Katya Zamolodchikova:There's no one to save you. You know what I mean?

26:04Trixie Mattel:Like,

26:04Katya Zamolodchikova:yes. Like even though it's daytime, you're not saying, Oh, I don't like that. That's like Candyman. That's like Candyman. All took, took place during the day.

26:12Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Yeah. The parking garage shit where it's like, Helen. Yeah. Helen.

26:18Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, he really turned it. That actor. Tony Todd. Tony Todd. Tony Todd. Tony Todd turned it. He surely did. Tony Todd turned it up. I watched... You're not going to watch Wuthering Heights. You don't go to the movies. Yeah, I won't watch that. I'm obsessed with... God, I'm obsessed with bad reviews of everything. Are you fucking with any of these Olympics at all?

26:43Trixie Mattel:No. I mean, I watch the LA local news every day and they include packages from that every day. So I see it peripherally. I do know that there's a wonderful speed skater from Wisconsin. Yes.

26:58Katya Zamolodchikova:Incredible.

26:58Trixie Mattel:Yeah. I don't know his name.

27:00Katya Zamolodchikova:Jordan something.

27:01Trixie Mattel:No, I don't know. He is. But I'm a little offended because they keep going. And then there's this kid from Wisconsin. They act like he crawled out of a hole in the ground. Like he is. It's winter sports and he's from Wisconsin. Why is that not? I know that's like, yeah, like shit.

27:18Katya Zamolodchikova:We should be good at winter sports. A lot of talent comes out of Wisconsin, if I'm not mistaken. Who? Prince. Prince is from Minnesota. Damn. Well, he's Minneapolis.

27:28Trixie Mattel:Well, same thing. But it's really close to Wisconsin. Yeah.

27:30Katya Zamolodchikova:Same.

27:31Trixie Mattel:At the airport, they have all the purple Prince, you know, store and shit. I think he's from. I think you're right. Minneapolis. You're definitely right. Yeah. Because when I play shows in Minneapolis, I always end with Raspberry Beret. Like when I walk out and people flip out. In Minneapolis, they flip out. What is your favorite Prince song? RuPaul's DJing in Milwaukee. Really? At the Rave Eagles Club. I want to go to that. Girl, I want to see her out there too. And she always be wearing like a hazmat suit or something or a house coat. Yep. Whatever her little flippers, anything. Like anything.

28:02Katya Zamolodchikova:But the vibe check is correct. She's bouncing. She's living. She is giving it. She's giving the energy. She's a conduit.

28:09Trixie Mattel:Yeah. It's fierce. Let's plug RuPaul's show in Milwaukee. Honestly, Milwaukee. RuPaul, when is she coming? She's not going to Milwaukee regularly. Let's make it a fucking event. She had a fracking.

28:19Katya Zamolodchikova:She sure did have some fracking visuals up there once. It was hysterical. I remember that. Crazy. Crazy. Yeah. No, but it looks like I was like, I didn't even hear about this tour. And then I saw like clips of it. I was like, this looks like the funnest thing ever. Yeah. I don't know anything about it. It is fun. On March 21st. March 21st. Go see Raymond. Go see Raymond in Milwaukee. If you're in Milwaukee on March 21st, you know what to do.

28:39Trixie Mattel:That is fun. That is fun. That is. And then make sure you go out afterward and get drinks at the local homosexual facilities. because you never know when they could close.

28:49Katya Zamolodchikova:The FAGs are hurting.

28:51Trixie Mattel:The FAGs are hurting.

28:53Katya Zamolodchikova:They're hurting. The FAGs are hurting. Girl, there was, well, I'm going to talk about the weather, but do you, last night or the night before, the wind and rain were like hurricane level. Oh, yeah. It was wild. Yeah. I was on the top floor of my thing. I thought the whole thing was just going to come down. Fierce.

29:12Trixie Mattel:Girl, I bet it was slightly creaking and you were stumbling around your apartment naked.

29:16Katya Zamolodchikova:No, no, no. I bet it was just slightly like. No, it was like, it was like, whoa.

29:23Trixie Mattel:Get your breasts played on. Yeah, they're all wet too. Yeah, all wet. Lube everywhere. I don't know why. Listen, I made you something.

29:30Katya Zamolodchikova:You did not.

29:30Trixie Mattel:I did. I got really inspired by you talking shit about Pam Bondi.

29:34Katya Zamolodchikova:Fierce.

29:34Trixie Mattel:And I just, I just thought of you. And, you know, I sit home and think about you and I'm, and I'm jerking it. And, you know. You're stroking your cock.

30:04Yes!

30:05Katya Zamolodchikova:You gotta send me that. I gotta put it on my gym list. Edibles. My gym playlist. Me on a 2.5 milligram edible. Crossed out.

30:11Trixie Mattel:My eyes turned blue and crossed. And I was on this computer like... Like, yes. No, but last night I was playing video games and the lobbies were taking too long. So I was like, how about this? Pam Bondi. Pam Bondi. Go to hell. Rot in hell. Eat shit and die.

30:30Katya Zamolodchikova:Fierce.

30:31Trixie Mattel:It's fierce. That clip too at the end, I just go, yeah. Yeah.

30:35Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

30:36Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

30:42Trixie Mattel:Today's episode of All in the Beautiful is brought to you by Rakuten. Listen, with Rakuten, you can earn cash back and rewards on nearly every single purchase from shopping to travel to dining experiences. So why not shop with the most rewarding way to shop? I mean, how much stuff do you buy from Petco or Macy's or Ulta or, you know, Zappos, Best Buy? Like, I swear to God, I go to Best Buy and just buy multiple hard drives and SD cards all at once. These are things that if I already have to buy them, I might as well buy them in a way where I get something back. Rakuten. If you've used Rakuten, you know that basically it's a long list of stores, stores you would not believe they have on there.

31:23Trixie Mattel:And you're going to get credit for shopping at those stores in a way that's different than if you just walked in and did it in person or shopped online. or things like Ulta. Like I know I'm going to use this many bottles of this foundation that I buy every single year. So it's like instead of me or Brandon running to Ulta multiple times a year, I can use Rakuten and actually get cash back that I can use for the boring stuff like SD cards, which seem to get lost constantly. And you can maximize your savings by stacking cash back on top of other deals like more sales and coupons. It's super easy.

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32:02Katya Zamolodchikova:April is a dangerous time for me because the second the weather gets even a little flirtatious, I start behaving like a woman of a certain age who has simply had enough. Suddenly, I need a spring trip, a trip where I need soft pants, dark sunglasses, and a destination where I can walk around at golden hour pretending I have secrets. That is the power of April. It thaws the pavement, reawakens my allergies, and fills me with the completely irrational confidence of someone who thinks a weekend away will fix everything. So this spring, I'm planning a trip to Savannah, where I found a home on Airbnb that is draped in both moss and charm.

32:39Katya Zamolodchikova:I want cobblestone little squares. I want to drift around in the spring sunshine like an aunt who's on an eat-pray love trip that includes grits and barbecue. I want to do some light strolling and maybe buy an impossibly impractical piece of jewelry in a local boutique. And at night, I want to sit down to a dinner that is so good, it makes me briefly forget pretty much everything. This is the kind of trip where you need a place that matches a fantasy. That's why I love booking stays on Airbnb, because when I travel, I do not want to be crammed into a hotel room with a view of a parking lot. I want a real place to stay.

33:11Katya Zamolodchikova:I want a living room where I can decompress after a long day of wandering around and judging southern architecture. I want a kitchen for snacks, a table for my frosty beverages, and enough space to dramatically collapse on the floor like Julia Roberts in Something to Talk About. And if I'm traveling with friends, it's even better, because then we can all stay together instead of scattered down different hallways in a hotel. And of course, once I start planning one trip, my brain immediately escalates. Suddenly, I'm looking at Carmel next. Then Malta. Then Hokkaido Island. A little ocean air, some seafood, and maybe even a long walk where I pretend I'm processing something deep, when really I'm just thinking about Russian pop music.

33:50Katya Zamolodchikova:Whether it's one quick spring reset or the beginning of a full, warm weather spiral, trips just feel more personal when you book through Airbnb. K-pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boys Breakfast Meal and Huntrix Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really. Stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. A participant in McDonald's while supplies last.

34:29Trixie Mattel:I have to tell you something. Yeah. I had to go to, we lost somebody in the Drag Race cinematic universe. Gabe Lopez, who was a music producer for pretty much all the Rusicals, all of Queen of the Universe. All the pop girls. like is a vibrant star of music on stage off stage passed away like a like a couple weeks ago oh no we did queen of the universe together and we've all all of us who don't drag race have done drag race with him even though we might not have seen him yeah producing the tracks yeah and um i got to go to um he had a funneral which was like funeral but try to keep it light the tables had like kazoos and tambourines and it was like if somebody on stage telling a memory would start crying.

35:09Trixie Mattel:Everybody would start shaking. That's cute. They were like, if people start breaking down, we need support. If anybody cries, just start clapping. That's fierce. So then when someone cried, we're all just like... I wish they'd do the midsummer thing. So I get the invite from Leland and I go, okay, great. I'll just meet you there because Leland, you know, we'll go together or whatever. I'll meet you there. So I get there right at 11 because you don't want to be late for someone's funeral. Right? It says 11. I'm there at 11. So I go in. I'm like, oh, they're still setting up. I'm sure it's like you know, like a lot to put together.

35:41Trixie Mattel:Right. And it's family members setting up for a person they've lost. Like, I'm like, I'll just sit in the back and ask if I can help with anything. I walk in, I, I, I meet some of his, his family and I go, I'm so sorry for your loss. We got to work together on this show. Can I help you guys pass out anything? Can I help you set up chairs, anything? And they go, no, you don't know. I go, okay. And I go sit down like 10 minutes go by and they're doing like the lights. And there was like a, there were a lot of singers. So they're doing soundtracks. A lot of his friends are musicians. They want to perform for him.

36:10Trixie Mattel:Ten minutes go by. I call Leland to go, what's up, girl? Where are you? He said, oh, are you calling from brunch? I said, yeah. What? And he goes, well, I figured you were at brunch. I said, yeah. What do you mean brunch? Are they going to feed us? And he goes, oh, where are you? I said, I'm at the function. He goes, it's not till 1 p.m. I'm over two hours early. Just like auditing, auditing, walking around.

36:41Katya Zamolodchikova:Hello. Yeah. Yeah. This chair is good. This is chair. I like all that. Yeah. Still dead.

36:45Trixie Mattel:The sound checks are happening. I feel like Simon Cowell. I'm like, you know, crazy. I thought you were going to say the wrong funeral. No, it was. It was their funeral. And I was like, whatever being early. And, you know, I guess whoever shows up earliest, love the person the most. I mean, like, and that's kind of a competition. And I was like, I get to. So then I go, Leland, what do I do? He goes, just come here to his house. He goes, get here now. I go, okay, okay, God. So I go out the back entrance. I try to go out the back entrance because I don't want to expose that I'm here early on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

37:15Trixie Mattel:I accidentally walk through the office of the facility. So then I'm definitely standing in an area. I'm not supposed to stand. And then I try to go out a door. And right before I push the door, it says fire alarm will sound. And I don't push it. Thank God. Because now I've learned to start. Oh, by the way, I checked the invitation. It says one.

37:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Fierce. Read 11. I read 11. You put another one on there.

37:32Trixie Mattel:And this is on a show where I've made fun of Monet for not reading The Invitation to that Halloween party.

37:36Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, that shit.

37:37Trixie Mattel:Love that shit. So stupid. So then I rush to Leland's. I walk in. I'm like, oh my God. He goes, Gabe would have loved that. I said, I know. So then the theme of the day was like, Gabe would have loved that. Anything obnoxious or crazy that happened that day. And funerals are so odd. Yeah. Awkward. Yeah. Sad. It's strange. Strange. Strange. Strange. Not in a bad way, but almost like a dream.

38:01Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. The vibe is so hard. Also, have you ever been to a funeral where like the family did not get along? No. It's really crazy. Really crazy. A lot of crazy family dynamics. Speaking of funerals, I, so I've never owned a suit in my life. Okay. Ever. You want to make more money? Yeah. You can buy a suit. You got to buy a suit. I went to the mall. To Klein, Epstein. In Parker. Yeah, no. I went to the mall and I made an appointment with this, and this guy like basically like dressed me like Downton Abbey. like Downton Abbey, like Downton Abbey. And you liked it. Did you go to suit supply? I did.

38:36Katya Zamolodchikova:And I did like it. I did. Yeah. Supply eats. It does eat. It was cunty. Good service. Nice clothes. The service was great. And it was like, I've never, I was so like, I don't know how to put on any of that stuff, girl. None. I don't know how to put on any of that stuff. Like cufflinks and like, Oh yeah. You know what I mean? That's like crazy.

38:56Trixie Mattel:I feel so embarrassed and nothing makes me feel less male than having to dress up male.

39:01Katya Zamolodchikova:oh yeah it makes me feel like i'm oh yeah yeah genderless blob yeah yeah totally the missing link i mean i was like i feel like i feel like i'm cross-dressing i felt like i was like in just one of the guys i'm joys heiser like and i was like you know yeah she's got he's got tits um but like the finished product was kind of cunty yeah i got three suits oh you did i got a tuxedo for a formal thing i've never worn a tuxedo in my life right cunty cunty do you feel like a waiter

39:30Trixie Mattel:or do you feel fancy?

39:31Katya Zamolodchikova:Well, that's the thing. So I was like, I didn't, I was like, A, I like black, so I don't want to look like the mafia. And I don't want to look like I'm attending the function to work.

39:41Trixie Mattel:Oh. You know. Do you get a bow tie?

39:44Katya Zamolodchikova:I.

39:45Trixie Mattel:Or a normal tie?

39:46Katya Zamolodchikova:No, I got a bow tie. Oh, cool. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. It's kind of fierce.

39:51Trixie Mattel:Fun. Now you're going to have to go to something. You know, you will get invited to like a Grammy or something. And now if you don't want to go in drag, you have the perfect outfit.

39:58Katya Zamolodchikova:I would, yeah, but I would have to do something to it. Like, you know, like a fun flower, like, like, um, a bloody nose or like, maybe like there's a hole in the butt and you can see my, like a shit stain. Yes. What about like a shit stain? What do you think about white tie, white suits? Oh my God. I think it's fine. Do you better not do anything? Well, that's, I went to fucking land noodle the other day with a white t-shirt on. Are you kidding me?

40:21Trixie Mattel:Did you look, what'd you look like?

40:22Katya Zamolodchikova:So the, the color of your lenses, that was the, that was the whole like color of my t-shirt when I left. Just orange sauce. everywhere. Soup splatter everywhere. But you chew with your mouth open. I chew with my mouth open and I eat with my hands. Yeah. No, but it was like there's no elegant way to eat in a white t-shirt at a noodle restaurant, you fucking bitch.

40:40Trixie Mattel:Next time you should go in a full noodle brown outfit with like pre-splatter. Ooh. Remember in COVID when everyone was doing tie-dye?

40:49Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh no, I just remember the sourdough. Sourdough is huge. That was too much.

40:54Trixie Mattel:I love sourdough. It's the only bread I buy. Yeah. But I got curious about how to make it. And so I started going down the tick tock rabbit hole. People proudly opening the jar of this living nasty thing bubbling out. No, ma 'am. And the caption of like, she was hungry today. I'm like, this is going to eat you in your sleep. This is going to kill you.

41:12Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, yeasty, yeasty, yeasty, yeasty boys. Yeasty boys. Um, I, Oh God, Mary, if there's more water damage in that place, I'm going to kill myself. My,

41:26Trixie Mattel:I'll give you. What about you? Any updates? My studio, not leaking. Get out of here. Even with the shenanigans. The guest house is still being fixed. But the studio, the building resealed the roof over the summer. And it's sealed. And it's not leaking. None of my areas leak. Love that. And then we've been having like extra air tests on everything just to make sure with all the rain and stuff, all the air is safe. Fierce. Because, you know, when you do water damage remediation, they air test it to death before they seal anything. Because why would they fix all the walls and then it's still an issue?

42:00Katya Zamolodchikova:Wow.

42:00Trixie Mattel:I have to do a lot of gardening because they want to make sure that the, what are they called, the gutters?

42:06Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

42:07Trixie Mattel:Run off the building in a way where the water doesn't just pool next to the building. Yes. But you're in a townhouse. I hate water.

42:16Katya Zamolodchikova:I love water. I love water. I also hate her. love to tour I love to tour I love fresh water I love water girl what about AI and water fresh water crazy crazy it's everything's nuts like AI centers drinking up all this fresh water so wild it's so wild

42:35Trixie Mattel:drink more water than you seriously

42:36Katya Zamolodchikova:I love a bottle of water Mary I don't I have to be hospitalized and they do it rectally no I did have a I did have a little water yesterday a little bit a little bit of water it's almost too sweet

42:47Trixie Mattel:almost too rich I'm a little too rich. What about me showing up to a funeral two hours early and just talking to the close family members? And giving notes? Maybe like, it's so fierce. I also like the number of steps it takes me to realize I was in the wrong place. Oh, I'm standing there being like, damn, I thought people like Gabe. Like, I don't like, I was like, where is it? Wow, everybody's so late. I thought, oh, do I not know something about funerals where you trickle in? Maybe I'm rude by showing up on time. Right. Of course, when it came to one, it started perfectly on time. And I was there.

43:17Trixie Mattel:I'd come back. I went to Leland's and came back. Fierce. Went to Leland's and came back.

43:23Katya Zamolodchikova:Now is that, there's a wake and then a funeral. Funeral's when they put you in the ground.

43:28Trixie Mattel:This was a funeral.

43:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Funeral.

43:30Trixie Mattel:So we all shared pretty positive memories. And then we had like snacks and drinks and like dancing. Because Gabe was a musician. But anyway, shout out Gabe. Thank you, Gabe. For all, if you've ever loved a musical, if you've ever loved a Drag Race musical presentation, Gabe probably worked on it. R.I.P. Gabe. What's your funeral vibe?

43:49Trixie Mattel:I hope this isn't a horrible trait but maybe this happens to everybody. When I go to a funeral, I think about my own. Does everybody think about that? Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I kind of think don't do anything. Don't do anything. But I don't know. I think there's important catharsis. Yeah, it's not for you. It's for them. There's important acceptance that occurs. I think a funeral helps something like that feel real sure you know yeah what do you want to do

44:20Katya Zamolodchikova:I think I want to do like an interactive like laser tag thing like an escape room with holograms no like or yeah maybe like an escape room but like like how would you how did you want her to die oh and then the hologram will like play out a whole scenario will your body be there no holograms though oh oh yeah I'll be in the casket I guess well it depends on how I die but um I it would cost It's going to cost$100. You'll have to pay. The whole wedding? No, the funeral. Or the whole funeral? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also a wedding. I think it's like, I think it'd be fierce to like charge a cover.

44:53Trixie Mattel:100%. There are people I think who charge it. You couldn't. People charge at their weddings now.

44:56Katya Zamolodchikova:You'd have to pay.

44:57Trixie Mattel:People charge at their weddings now. They do.

45:00Katya Zamolodchikova:Some people do. Look it up. No way. Oh, yes. Well, that hysterical girl from Vietnam, Jessica, was talking about the difference between American and Vietnamese weddings. And people show up. Here's a toaster. your American wedding and then to the Vietnamese wedding. Here's$10 ,000. Love. Like, what the fuck? I don't want to toast her.

45:18Trixie Mattel:I know. I know that I'm going to marry Vietnamese now. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, girl. Um, okay, miss girl. I, you know, I used to do bridal makeup. I know that's a huge joke to everyone, but it's not a joke. But when I was 23 doing bridal makeup, that was my little side gig. I loved it. So I did probably my life. How many lashes did you put? 25, 30 weddings in my life. Maybe five or maybe 10 a year for three years. So I guess maybe 30. That's a good experience. And now I keep getting, I get a lot of makeup artists, TikToks, people showing their kits, cleaning their products. I love makeup artists' kits.

46:02Trixie Mattel:Real makeup artists showing their kit. That's like my porn. Yeah. And a lot of them are bridal makeup artists now talking about like the bridal economy and how the images used in bridal advertisement, the images used in media about weddings are so above and beyond a million dollars that now when people want to get married, they are in shock that they're down at the VFW having a potluck because they think that it's going to be the Kim K shot out of a cannon experience and it's a backyard. It's a backyard. so the makeup artists now that i was watching they're saying we've lost touch with the fact that a wedding is a luxury item and like yeah if you want a fancy wedding yeah it's a luxury yeah but you can have a zero dollar wedding anytime you want yeah you go to the courthouse and so the makeup artist was talking about how more and more people are eloping because they would rather put the money toward a house or a baby or whatever

47:02Katya Zamolodchikova:Mary, no shit.

47:04Trixie Mattel:And I love a wedding. Sure. But you're also allowed to be like, we're just going to do nothing. It doesn't seem like a good amount of a way to use money. No.

47:12Katya Zamolodchikova:But I love a wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I get it. I get it. I mean, especially if you're a straight couple and you're not like rolling in dough. I mean, the house, Mary, the house. The land, honey, the land. While you were at the courthouse, I was in Brooklyn struggling. What did you say? While you are in high school, I am in Brooklyn struggling to survive in this economy. me um what is the what is the rate when what's too much to spend on the wedding it depends who

47:37Trixie Mattel:you are and where you live okay for example my mother got married in middle inlet wisconsin at the city hall town hall which i think was probably free and it was a potluck so there was no food fears i think the dj was the major expense five dollars ten dollars i i was like eight at the time so i wasn't back there crunching the numbers but i'm just remembering yeah yeah yeah in the 90s. Probably like a few hundred bucks. It can't have cost more than a few thousand dollars. No, probably a few hundred. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think at this point, eloping is beautiful. Spending as little as possible is beautiful.

48:13Trixie Mattel:If you have, yeah, if you've got money to burn. And not even getting legally married is beautiful. Curt and Goldie. My brother, he's an attorney, he was like, Brian, I do weddings. I do divorces. You don't, like, people don't have to get married. No. Have the party if you want. Yeah. But like divorces are so expensive. Yeah.

48:35Katya Zamolodchikova:What do you like? That is so what about what about acrimonious divorces and trying to get rich through a divorce? What do you think about that?

48:43Trixie Mattel:Weird. It's weird. Weird. It's crazy. I feel like. I think no matter how much you're together, it's good to have separate banks and everything. A hundred percent. Don't merge your assets. But I do believe in like if you're in a five year plus relationship. You're really serious. I do believe in like a, an account that both of you access that separate where you can both have like house money or money, whatever. But, um, I come from a long line of no one having anything to take from anyone because we all just have debt.

49:13Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

49:13Trixie Mattel:So all of that is very foreign to me. Yeah. I,

49:17Katya Zamolodchikova:yeah, I don't think it, it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense. Like my money is my money. Your money is your money.

49:22Trixie Mattel:But of course, wills are important.

49:24Katya Zamolodchikova:Yes.

49:25Trixie Mattel:Because I always think about this. what if I got hit by a truck tomorrow?

49:28Katya Zamolodchikova:Today.

49:28Trixie Mattel:My mom's house is in my name. What if Wisconsin or whatever was like, oh, technically it's not your name. You have to move out. I always think about that. Fuck.

49:38Katya Zamolodchikova:Don't kill me. Don't kill me. Please don't kill him today. Yeah, that's crazy. And you said before that on my phone, on the notes app, it doesn't count. I mean, I'm not a lawyer. I'm not a lawyer.

49:48Trixie Mattel:But I don't think it counts. I think big lawyer, the industry, would tell you it doesn't count.

49:54Katya Zamolodchikova:You know, have you ever had an asset recovery have you ever had like a I can't tell if this thing is like fucking like a scam or what asset recovery I have the funds like somewhere that they're going to help me get that sounds like a scam right

50:11Trixie Mattel:oh I know what you're talking about you do so let's say you world of wonder yes let's say they tried to pay you but you moved addresses exactly and they could not reach you and they still owe you money yeah a third party company might say hey for a flat rate we will help get you this but I one time to get a thousand dollar check from someone had to pay this other company like 200 bucks to get them so I don't think it's a scam because I did get money

50:36Katya Zamolodchikova:okay you did

50:36Trixie Mattel:but I would google them

50:37Katya Zamolodchikova:yeah no I did I think it's it's just so weird so weird I mean how many checks I'm like tied up in like other mailboxes

50:47Trixie Mattel:mailboxes etc mailboxes etc well

50:50Katya Zamolodchikova:should we well now that we have

50:51Trixie Mattel:the new thing where we end the episode listening to the fans yes

50:54Katya Zamolodchikova:oh yeah let's um let's visit a few um lovely comments um would you guys prefer the term fans i don't know fans or um friends of the pod friends of the pod listeners listeners you got any good you got oh damn oh yeah tracy got a microphone she said that's where it stops getting on an airplane sick

51:13Trixie Mattel:is the worst yeah it's the worst it's pretty bad where are you going um to washington dc for a job

51:20Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. What are you doing? Not until Monday. So hopefully they'll just like. What kind of gig is it? It's a speaking engagement. At a college? Mm-hmm. What are you going to talk about? They're going to talk to me. Are you going to get in drag? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a moderated Q &A. I've done a lot of those and they always say like, you don't have to get in drag. I'm like, what are you talking about?

51:38Trixie Mattel:I'm like, you guys are paying me to do nothing.

51:40Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. That's crazy. I will get in drag. I'm going to get in drag. It's the very least I can do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that shit. I think you're going to do a good job. I wasn't good. I love that.

51:49Trixie Mattel:I wasn't sure. I was going to talk about when I was at University of Wisconsin, Madison and I locked in and I was just like, wait a minute. They're in college. I've gone to college.

51:57Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. What if I have wisdom here? Hello? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you'd have to, you have to shut me up at those things. I love it. What are you going to tell them? Like if college kids were listening, what would you say? I mean, well, it depends on what they're going to college for. Right. You know, it also depends on, I haven't, if like, if you're at, if speaking at a private university, you can't necessarily, there was certain like avenues you can't necessarily go down, like drop out.

52:20Trixie Mattel:No, when I speak at private universities, I always start with like, so all of you have rich parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many of you have Republican parents? I like, you know, but I think you should go person to person, have them say their major and then decide if they should drop out or stay. Perfect. Right. And then, yeah.

52:33Katya Zamolodchikova:And then it'll like,

52:34Trixie Mattel:if it's like nursing, stay.

52:36Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, yeah, yeah. English literature. LGBT studies.

52:41Trixie Mattel:You know, exactly.

52:43Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh man.

52:44Trixie Mattel:I love to talk to the college people. I do too. Can I tell you though? What? They're very young, honey. You are children. Children of the corn.

52:53Katya Zamolodchikova:Children of the corn.

52:54Trixie Mattel:Children of the corn. You are going to feel like you're at a kindergarten.

52:56Katya Zamolodchikova:I know. I'm going to get up my, sitting on a stool, reading like, you know, show the picture and then read from the book. It's crazy.

53:02Trixie Mattel:Because I've been doing college gigs since I was like 25.

53:04Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. And so I used to be like,

53:06Trixie Mattel:you guys are just a year or two behind. I'm one of you. And now it's like, did you need a chair for us to roll you on the stage in? Like,

53:13Katya Zamolodchikova:it's like, it's really bad. It's, it's terrifying. They are 18 years old and 18 is really 14.

53:19Trixie Mattel:And also they have 16 to 18 people designated to serve you in any way. It is like the entire student body as handmaidens outside the door. It's crazy. Like they don't just, if your writer says a bottle of water, there's 10 different bottles of water of different brands.

53:35Katya Zamolodchikova:It's fierce.

53:36Trixie Mattel:And they're all happier there and terrified. Like the fear is in their eyes. I love that. just you know be really nice

53:45Katya Zamolodchikova:no I'm not gonna be horrible I'm gonna be a horrible monster come on

53:49Trixie Mattel:okay we have some comments from the people love five stars you two are brilliant thank you for the joy XO this is from Sandwich Slut do you think they're from Sandwich Massachusetts could be is this the slut of Sandwich Massachusetts is this the slut wait the slut oh my god I went to Sandwich once did you would you like it I drove through it on the way to P-Town once yeah it's fierce yeah the capes there was a water wheel a water wheel? like on a river like a water wheel oh like a like a like hocus pocus

54:19Katya Zamolodchikova:yeah yeah yeah the girls make my day ten times better depression buster

54:24Trixie Mattel:oh so fuck that fan yeah fuck it did you guys see that? there's two on that one I know I know alright

54:31Katya Zamolodchikova:mama said the girls make my make my day ten times better thanks for making me uncontrollably laugh for an unhealthy time well thank you very much you're welcome I think laughter's healthy laughter's healthy nature's medicine and then listen with sad and no longer sad vibes in soul

54:49Trixie Mattel:have we talked to him today? what if they got sad the next day? you know seems like they were on the edge

54:56Katya Zamolodchikova:what about wait oh god I wanted to say something that's it I think there's two more

55:03Trixie Mattel:there is more I'll go for it flip my wig five stars Madeline Glory porn name porn name This pod truly has me cackling.

55:13Katya Zamolodchikova:Love it.

55:14Trixie Mattel:Okay. What did your friend say the other day? That I don't, I have no respect for the medium. Even though I'm a comedian and a podcaster, I have no respect for the medium. Oh, God. I love that so much. Love that. Better than all the rest. Five stars. I would buy a shirt with Scarglow on it. What's Scarglow?

55:31Katya Zamolodchikova:I don't know. Did we say that? I don't know. Probably Pam Bondi.

55:34Trixie Mattel:Love you too so much, heart. Love. Five stars. The best part of my week. baby you need to up your life quality right? us speaking into the microphone we should be the low point dream bigger for Maggie W I aspire that we are the low point of your week the nadir the dredge, the slog here's some more

55:57Katya Zamolodchikova:okay hi pig now that's my kind of comment that's from Frederico Bimlow of course

56:06Trixie Mattel:how come they're only talking to you? why won't they talk to me

56:09Katya Zamolodchikova:does it say hi pig and steed perfect perfect girls genuinely thank you what genuinely thank you to them for lighting up my life well thank you all so much for thanking us and I guess we'll see you in the next one

56:26Trixie Mattel:yeah honestly we don't deserve you and you don't deserve us in different ways goodbye

56:40Thank you.