The Trixie Mattel Center for Turntable Excellence with Trixie and Katya

9:06Katya Zamolodchikova:She is, but I haven't gotten that part yet. Oh, you know I'm gonna watch for Denise.

9:09Trixie Mattel:I love Denise.

9:10Katya Zamolodchikova:I saw like a coming up clip and she is hysterical. That woman is hysterical. What's that movie she's in? Wild Things? Wild Things, yeah. Holy shit. With Nev Campbell. Yeah. Nev Campbell. And Matt Dillon. Oh! Matt Dillon, one of the hottest people ever. Mary, Matt Dillon, the star of The House that Jack built, which I recently watched. Again, that is crazy for me to do. Right. It's about a serial killer. Okay. And it is the most, well, not the most, but one of the most disturbing graphic horror movies you could ever watch. There's a whole Dante Purgatory, Inferno type of storyline that I, anyways, yeah, it's pretty, it's very disturbing.

9:48Trixie Mattel:Very disturbing. Yeah. I listened to Celine Dion yesterday, a few days ago in the car. That was kind of nice. Loved to listen to Celine Dion. Do you find her just put on put on it's all coming back to me now put on the car on the way back from san diego

10:03Katya Zamolodchikova:full body chills i'm not even joking no i know i know it's it's what do you call that it's a it's like is that a torch song now it's a power ballad the power ballad my favorite part is when the

10:14Trixie Mattel:bell it's like not even tambourine it's like christmas bells okay and it's like i started crying in the instant. Like, I'm nut.

10:23Katya Zamolodchikova:What is that vocal idiot? What do you call that? It's like a vocal, her mannerism, like, what is that? How do you describe that?

10:35Trixie Mattel:I think part of it is because she's French-Canadian. I think it's a placement thing. Because French, as you know, sits in the back of the mouth a little bit more than English. They sit somewhere.

10:44Katya Zamolodchikova:I don't even know where they are sitting.

10:46Trixie Mattel:French-Canadians have that kind of LOL are you? Yeah it is a strange Girl Do you follow this bitch? There's this girl That is so you coded That I can't even I sit home I sit home and I jerk off about it Listen This is you Okay If this isn't you Shoot me down Shoot me in the eye bitch It's that French Canadian girl Sammy Laundry Sammy Laundry I don't know She's that French Canadian girl Who's like I've never heard of that She was looking for a cigarette or a lighter? Oh, no.

11:19Katya Zamolodchikova:They get two inches from your nose. It's crazy. They got a very particular brand of cultural aggression when it comes to asking for cigarettes in Montreal. Let me tell you that. What do they do? They get right up to your face and they speak like so loud. Do it to me now. Yes, they do.

11:34Trixie Mattel:I never smoke in Montreal. Well, they make you smoke in Montreal when you get, oh, girl?

11:42Katya Zamolodchikova:Wait, we got to get back to something. I think we jumped like six different topics. I will cover everything today. Oh, just like the magic of Celine. Okay. But wait, you still haven't answered the question about Celine. What is it called? Because some, that kind of like, it's a, a trait of her voice. Like how would you, I guess you would call it like a vocal characteristic. Okay. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Which some people find grading. I like it. Well, that's fine. I think I like it too, but, but it's, there's like a, it's an affectation. that's a great that's what it is yeah yeah yeah um her like lerve lerve yeah that's a little bit

12:23Trixie Mattel:yeah lerve um okay you love her you love her i would say if she don't i mean she her voice has so much power and she has so much skill that if it didn't have those i mean that that that also makes it so that you know it's her right away which from a marketing thing is probably yes yes

12:43Katya Zamolodchikova:yes yes nobody sounds it's a signature yeah yeah but a vocal signature but what about whitney mama i went down that rabbit hole yeah started i don't know how the star-spangled banner popped up and i just i started crying you need a tracksuit like that oh you don't think i have one you don't think i have several and the headband with the wig you're running it you fat bitch no i sing in my kitchen oh say it is i mean i know she lip-synced it at the performance she did yeah of course she I mean, that's okay. But guess what? It's still her fucking voice. It doesn't change a thing. She still recorded it.

13:18Trixie Mattel:I don't care if people aren't singing anymore.

13:21Katya Zamolodchikova:Mary, I don't care at all. I do care if it's your voice. Yeah. It's got to be you. Right. Right. I mean, I would, I'm shocked and appalled to learn that a lot of these vocalists have like 16 background singers or front ground singers.

13:43Trixie Mattel:This episode is in partnership with Airbnb. When June finally shows up, we can all stop pretending we're indoor people and finally get some vitamin D. The days stretch out, the sun gets warm, and suddenly I am emotionally transported into being a person who wears a linen shirt and says things like, Let's go get some fresh fruit at the farmer's market. This summer, I'm planning a little getaway in the St. Ynez Valley, which is where I found this gorgeous little home on Airbnb that feels like a little headquarters for a few days of warm weather intervention. I want to wake up slowly, make a little bit of tea in an actual kitchen and wander through the rolling hillsides, buying some chunky jewelry and maybe a cool piece of wall art with a bit of seasonal motif.

14:24Trixie Mattel:And after that, I'll be ready for a little trip to Solvang for danishes, smorgasbords, and that kind of Danish village charm that makes one briefly consider buying wooden clogs. That is what the beginning of summer does to me. It makes travel feel less like an escape and more like a grand seasonal awakening. Suddenly, I need fresh air, open windows, and a home base that feels like a real place to set out from. That's why I love booking stays on Airbnb. I want a living room where everyone can sprawl out after a long day in the sun. I want a kitchen for late night snacks and lazy breakfast. And I want enough space to actually feel settled instead of just stacking my luggage in a hotel room.

15:01Trixie Mattel:And if I'm traveling with friends, even better. We can stay together, eat dinner together, and we can collectively pretend we're the kind of people who do not forget sunscreen. And of course, once June begins, one trip becomes three imaginary trips. Maybe it's the Santa Ynez Valley now, Yosemite National Park next, a long weekend in Santa Fe after that. However summer unfolds, it's just feeling more personal when you book through Airbnb. This episode is sponsored by Wonderful Pistachios. Hey, Katya, I have an important question for you. Do you know what I love about summer? You know what, Trixie?

15:32Trixie Mattel:I don't. Well, good, because I'm about to tell you. Everything feels just a little more fun. Longer days, warmer nights, and snacks that feel like a treat.

15:41Katya Zamolodchikova:I could not agree more. And that is why this episode is sponsored by Wonderful Pistachios. Right now, I am deeply, emotionally, and spiritually into wonderful pistachios, chocolate sea salt, and chocolate toffee flavors.

15:54Trixie Mattel:OMG, same. The delicious roasted pistachios are thinly dipped in dark chocolate antioxidant goodness, so you get that sweet, indulgent flavor. They are like a first date with your snacking soulmate.

16:07Katya Zamolodchikova:I agree. Chocolate sea salt strikes just the right balance. A little salty, a little sweet, and covered in rich, dark chocolate. They're like a long, deep cocoa kiss on a summer night.

16:19Trixie Mattel:And Chocolate Toffee has that sweet, crispy toffee with roasted pistachios and dark chocolate containing 50 % cacao. It's crunchy, rich, and sweetly delectable, like me.

16:30Katya Zamolodchikova:Plus, they have the protein power of pistachios, so it feels like a better-for-you indulgence with a sweet punch.

16:37Trixie Mattel:Snack time never tasted so good, girl.

16:40Katya Zamolodchikova:Try Wonderful Pistachios Chocolate Sea Salt and Chocolate Toffee today. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.

17:14Trixie Mattel:a little headquarters for a few days of warm weather intervention. I want to wake up slowly, make a little bit of tea in an actual kitchen, and wander through the rolling hillsides buying some chunky jewelry and maybe a cool piece of wall art with a bit of seasonal motif. And after that, I'll be ready for a little trip to Solvang for Danishes, smorgasbords, and that kind of Danish village charm that makes one briefly consider buying wooden clogs. That is what the beginning of summer does to me. It makes travel feel less like an escape and more like a grand seasonal awakening. Suddenly, I need fresh air, open windows, and a home base that feels like a real place to set out from.

17:51Trixie Mattel:That's why I love booking stays on Airbnb. I want a living room where everyone can sprawl out after a long day in the sun. I want a kitchen for late night snacks and lazy breakfast. And I want enough space to actually feel settled instead of just stacking my luggage in a hotel room. And if I'm traveling with friends, even better. We can stay together, eat dinner together, and we can collectively pretend we're the kind of people who do not forget sunscreen. And of course, once June begins, one trip becomes three imaginary trips. Maybe it's the Santa Ynez Valley now, Yosemite National Park next, a long weekend in Santa Fe after that.

18:23Trixie Mattel:However summer unfolds, it's just feeling more personal when you book through Airbnb. I have a new immigration story that will blow your fucking tits off your bald little body. I think I got my sports bra on. I got my sports bra on. Go. You need to push your titties together because I'm about to fuck them. Okay. So this is so crazy. I was in Canada with you. Yeah. Oh my God. You were there.

18:51Trixie Mattel:Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wow. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wow. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Unbelievable. Maybe somebody needs to put the pipe down. You were fucking there, you bald bitch. So, bald. I guess, but can I tell the viewer? Can I recap for the viewer? Absolutely, you can. So, I go through immigration. I finally did my global entry.

19:13Katya Zamolodchikova:Yes. Oh, girl, I was there the whole time. You told me this story three times when we were there. But go, no, tell it again. Tell it again. No, no, no. It is a good story. It's a good story. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What happened? Okay, thank you.

19:28Trixie Mattel:So, I'm at the Best Western in Winnipeg. Winnipeg. Because I like to spend a little money. Yeah. so I'm at the Pest Western of Winnipeg you walk in the lobby the smell of a pool hits you in the face

19:38Katya Zamolodchikova:which is in terms of Winnipeg that chlorine smell is a win it's a win it's a big win because that place is truly the armpit of Canada the riddled crotch the ran through crotch of Canada

19:51Trixie Mattel:without the pool smell you get pegged that's what they don't tell you it is horrible so we have to go to the airport at 6 in the morning that day and I'm like you know what I never do this, but I'm going to smoke a little bit of this weed because I want to sleep on the plane. I never smoke weed before. 6 p.m. At 6 in the morning. Right. Wake and bake. But I'm not going to fly with it. I'm not a rule breaker. Right. Oh, right. So we go to the airport. You totally could, though. What? You totally could. I guess, but I'm not a rule breaker. Right. Right? So I'm not a rule breaker. A rule breaker.

20:24Trixie Mattel:So to get to the airport, I was like, you know what? That didn't really do anything. I'm just going to take two more puffs off this so I can sleep on the plane. so then by the time we get to TSA I'm really high on accident really high on accident so how does that manifest? are you hot and nervous? hot and nervous I got hot and nervous it was like something about the airport high I was like what am I doing? oh yeah

20:42Katya Zamolodchikova:that's not a great place to be under the influence

20:45Trixie Mattel:I thought it would put on my sunglasses and be chilled instead immigration high? oh no Mary are you kidding? no so but I had thrown it away because I knew the laws knew it wasn't bringing any laws right? so yeah nothing to worry about no They're not going to blood test you. So they ask me, and then they say, well, you applied for global entry. Let's do your interview quick. And I go, okay. That's a good thing. I also, I don't break laws. I'm not going to hide, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we do the whole interview. Great. I walk. I go to the terminal. I sit by you. I reward myself with a little.

21:17Trixie Mattel:Apple fritter? No. I went to the Tim Hortons and got a, what do you call it? Not the other dog. The Cruller. Cruller. We split it four ways. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So then I'm sitting there talking to you guys being like, Oh my God, I smoked a little weed. And even though I didn't break any laws or anything, I was just scared during my immigration. That was scary. You know what happens?

21:42Katya Zamolodchikova:The guy comes over.

21:43Trixie Mattel:The guy comes over and says, Mr. Fergus, can you come with me?

21:45Katya Zamolodchikova:That's when I would have had to like change my diaper. Yes.

21:50Trixie Mattel:He came and got me in front of the colleagues and took her away. It took me away. And she wasn't willing to fight for me. No.

21:58Katya Zamolodchikova:She has karate training. She's very fit. She didn't do nothing. It was 7.30 in the morning. It was 7.30 in the morning. I had a full diaper.

22:05Trixie Mattel:I'm also thinking to myself, no offense, if I'm the one that gets drug charges at the airport. You know that's how it's going to shake down.

22:13Katya Zamolodchikova:I'm going to lose my mind. You know Miss Universe has a great sense of humor. Miss Universe. She's going to die before me of a drug overdose. I swear to God.

22:22Trixie Mattel:100%. And it's like, what are the odds that this is happening? One in a million. No, it's happening. so he sits me down and imagine I'm high at the airport but I've broken no laws I know I've broken no laws I googled the laws took me around the corner to another table out in the open so imagine you're high and you're trying to hide it and you're scared and she goes so Mr. Perkus oh god marijuana

22:49Katya Zamolodchikova:you would have been like M-A-R-I-J-U-A-N-A no I wish I wasn't so scared I should have been like

22:55Trixie Mattel:no thanks it's a little early

22:56Katya Zamolodchikova:he would have laughed we would have had a new friend

23:02Trixie Mattel:marijuana no thanks I wish but instead I was like oh my god

23:10Katya Zamolodchikova:it grows from the ground trees, pot

23:13Trixie Mattel:it was like I was like in Bridesmaids and the Escuelas I was just like I was like uh huh and then he starts asking me all these questions about where I've lived et cetera. I'm maybe this is not standard, but I must have somebody who knows me or me or someone must have been flagged in some way. And then they were, and I was so scared, but I was like, I, I've never broken these, the stuff they were bringing up. I was like, I've never done any of this. Like, I don't know what they're talking about. Yeah. And I, I got proved. So thank you. I do have global entry, but now,

23:46Katya Zamolodchikova:but you know how it is for minorities, people who are not white. Right. Getting flagged for no reason, ripped from their families, thrown in the, trash. That's so funny because I mostly thought of you. That would like honestly, regardless of whether anything was going on, I would have had the fullest diaper of scared shit.

24:06Trixie Mattel:It wasn't. You know what I realized? It's not that I thought I was doing anything wrong. Immigration scares me because of the trauma. Also at the meeting, he said, have you ever gotten in trouble with immigration? I said, well a good 10 years ago, I had the wrong visa and I got detained and sent back to America and I've gone back to Australia probably 15 times since.

24:26Katya Zamolodchikova:That's what we call traumatic recall. Traumatic recall. Because there's euphoric recall and then there's traumatic recall. I just made that up, but it's real.

24:32Trixie Mattel:Right. And I thought, just be honest. Don't say, oh, I was like, oh, one time I had a visa problem. Basically, I had a visa problem.

24:38Katya Zamolodchikova:Yes. My flop manager told me to lie to the authorities of a country. Get into that. Actually, my flop travel agent told my manager to tell me to lie. Right. I know we've told this story like 365 ,000 times.

24:55Trixie Mattel:But this was such a traumatic recall of that. I was like, full body chills. Yeah. Because I've been detained at immigration and it's terrifying. It's so bad. And so now everything about immigration always scares me.

25:06Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. Well, also, like, we're not exactly known for our, like, swift and absolutely unflappable justice system here.

25:16Trixie Mattel:Right. And also, known traveler system, pre-check, all of that is a huge fucking privilege. And you have to be trustworthy to have it. And so like, how do I have it? I have never, like, I was not interested in lying at all. No. And I knew I hadn't broken the laws. And so even though I knew all that was true, I was like freaking out.

25:32Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. Yeah.

25:33Trixie Mattel:A little bit of marijuana activated the part of my brain that was like, you're going to jail. You're going to die. Yes. It was horrible. And I did forget that you were there. And again, you said nothing. No one to help me.

25:43Katya Zamolodchikova:I, what was I going to be like, Hey, you get your hands off her. You get out of here.

25:50Trixie Mattel:international travel has just not been my,

25:52Katya Zamolodchikova:my greatest gift. Um, you know what I was struggling with, by the way, Winnipeg, shout out to Winnipeg for being the ugliest city in Canada. And people know it. People know it. Listen, it's Canada is a gorgeous. And I mean, you talk about countries in the world, Canada has Canada boasts some of the most spectacular natural phenomena, but nothing, nobody's perfect as we know. No human being is not without their faults and poibles. They're listening to this being like, we don't have civil war. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Listen, America, 128 on the Global Peace Index. Okay. But Canada, Winnipeg, baby, mama, you are boot nasty.

26:30Katya Zamolodchikova:And it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Because there are so many cities in the United States that are worse than Winnipeg. What's the ugliest place you've ever been to? Winnipeg. No, no, no, no. The ugliest, parts of Brooklyn. Easy. Easy. Have you been to - Parts. Parts. Have you been to Hull? Oh my God. I totally blocked out the UK. Hull? But let's, that's like number one through 12. One through 12. Hull has a river.

26:59Trixie Mattel:Google to that. Hull has a river of mud going through it. Mary,

27:03Katya Zamolodchikova:right? Selena, Kansas.

27:05Trixie Mattel:Great drag name. Yes, it's true. Selena, Kansas.

27:09Katya Zamolodchikova:No, but I mean, as we were like, because we went to other Canadian cities, like, um, we've, we've been everywhere in Canada. Um, we were in, Canada is full of beauty. In Calgary? Calgary. Gorgeous. Vancouver. Vancouver. Wonderful. Winnipeg. The, the drive from the airport to the best Western was picturesque in a way that is not exactly pleasing to the eyeballs or the psyche. And you know,

27:32Trixie Mattel:I don't want to be anti Midwest. I love the Midwest. Winnipeg. I was like, it's like we're in green Bay or something. Yeah. It's giving like mid city,

27:40Katya Zamolodchikova:Wisconsin. It's, it's got, it's got, it's ravaged by poverty. It's ravaged by drugs. It's ravaged by homelessness. It's because I was like shocked when we were in, In Calgary, I was like, damn, this city's clean. Damn, this city's beautiful. Damn, this city has a lot to, like, you know. Calgary was so pretty. Calgary was incredible. I didn't remember Calgary being like that. I thought she was some boo-boo girl. Toronto's beautiful. Montreal, eating. Yeah, the old Montreal. Yeah. Quebec in general. It's incredible, yeah. It's beautiful. With Miss Winnipeg, the only good thing she's ever done is produce Guy Madden, this incredible director.

28:12Katya Zamolodchikova:Other than that, flop.

28:13Trixie Mattel:But, you know, when the Civil War comes, we will be coming to Winnipeg, and we'll be saying, oh, we'll say, oh, my God.

28:18Katya Zamolodchikova:This is very good, actually.

28:20Trixie Mattel:everything's so delicious your city's so beautiful do you remember that clip of Sarah Paulson from American Horror Story Asylum where she's eating that food and she's crying and she's like it's very good

28:30Katya Zamolodchikova:do you get into that are they still doing that American Horror Story yeah of course but why did they like in terms of their they went like it went American Horror Story like whatever what was the first one haunted house

28:46Trixie Mattel:I think it's actually it's not called haunted house. I think it's called American Horror Story murder house.

28:51Katya Zamolodchikova:Okay. Murder house. Haunted house. Same thing. And then American Horror Story coven. That's three. Okay. Asylum is two. Coven is three. Okay. And then it's like American American Horror Story like yellow socks. I think. It gets so weird.

29:05Trixie Mattel:Freak Show is four. Okay. Hotels five.

29:07Katya Zamolodchikova:You know what I mean? And then it's like American Horror Story like I left my keys at home. American Horror Story inspired coupon.

29:14Trixie Mattel:Oh, American Horror Story. Facebook.

29:16Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. like or American Horror Story like Raleigh no Roanoke Roanoke that's even worse that's the one I was on

29:23Trixie Mattel:oh shit sorry that's so fucked if you were to say that's why you hate it you bitch you want to talk about leaving no impact the way nobody knows I was on it and the way the way people who've seen it are like were you on that I'm like yes talk to me about that because I forget I had three lines in a 30 second scene so I don't think it was necessarily the crux of the season but that's like

29:43Katya Zamolodchikova:that was Charlie Sheen's role on Ferris Bueller's Day Off and it was unforgettable.

29:48Trixie Mattel:Well, I remember, I won't say who it is, but Leslie was there that day and he and I had met a bunch of times before that. And we sit in this golf court, this golf cart, and I guess now he's dead, so I'll tell this story, but it's so funny. He sits next to me and, you know, for Leslie, whenever he sees me in drag, it would be like, oh, thank God. Why? Because he's such a fag and he'd be like, thank God you're here. Good ally. So he sits next to me and he's like, I don't know, they all want me to go do all these pride. How come every pride I do everyone's on Estacy and Molly?

30:20Trixie Mattel:Estacy and Molly. Estacy and Molly. Damn. And so we're laughing. We're writing to set this little golf cart, you know, on the I'd say there's a Fox lot wherever they made or the FX wherever they made that. I forget. And I won't say who he was talking about, but somebody in the cast, he was like, well, don't go over there and talk to O. Sourpuss.

30:37Katya Zamolodchikova:Wait, was anybody like actually mean? No, everybody was so nice.

30:41Trixie Mattel:Everybody took lovely pictures. You know, and it was like Evan Peters, Angela Bassett, everybody. Really? Nobody was a diva? Everybody was so nice. Oh, I don't like that. I want diva stories. Sarah Paulson, like they were all so cool and nice.

30:52Katya Zamolodchikova:Okay, well that's boring.

30:58Trixie Mattel:This episode is in partnership with Airbnb. When June finally shows up, we can all stop pretending we're indoor people and finally get some vitamin D. The days stretch out, the sun gets warm, and suddenly I am emotionally transported into being a person who wears a linen shirt and says things like, let's go get some fresh fruit at the farmer's market. This summer, I'm planning a little getaway in the St. Ynez Valley, which is where I found this gorgeous little home on Airbnb that feels like a little headquarters for a few days of warm weather intervention. I want to wake up slowly, make a little bit of tea in an actual kitchen, and wander through the rolling hillsides buying some chunky jewelry and maybe a cool piece of wall art with a bit of seasonal motif.

31:39Trixie Mattel:And after that, I'll be ready for a little trip to Solvang for Danish's, smorgasbords, and that kind of Danish village charm that makes one briefly consider buying wooden clogs. That is what the beginning of summer does to me. It makes travel feel less like an escape and more like a grand seasonal awakening. Suddenly, I need fresh air, open windows, and a home base that feels like a real place to set out from. That's why I love booking stays on Airbnb. I want a living room where everyone can sprawl out after a long day in the sun. I want a kitchen for late night snacks and lazy breakfast. And I want enough space to actually feel settled instead of just stacking my luggage in a hotel room.

32:15Trixie Mattel:And if I'm traveling with friends, even better. We can stay together, eat dinner together, and we can collectively pretend we're the kind of people who do not forget sunscreen. And of course, once June begins, one trip becomes three imaginary trips. Maybe it's the Santa Ynez Valley now, Yosemite National Park next, a long weekend in Santa Fe after that. However summer unfolds, it's just feeling more personal when you book through Airbnb.

32:39Katya Zamolodchikova:Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. Hi, this is Zoe Deutsch and Nick Robinson. Our brand new movie, Voicemails for Isabel, is all about those little moments that feel like the universe is looking out.

32:51Trixie Mattel:Feeling homesick, then your sister calls.

32:53Katya Zamolodchikova:Hearing that perfect song exactly when you need it.

33:00Katya Zamolodchikova:Sometimes life rigs things in our favor, like learning about your new favorite rom-com, Voicemails for Isabel. Now playing only on Netflix. Tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha frappuccino drink? Or a sweet vanilla? Smooth caramel, maybe. Or a white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

33:24Trixie Mattel:I just saw Sarah Paulson last weekend. You too? Chapel room. Did you go to that car? Do you see how I get treated? No, that is a huge... That goes to like, what, 80 ,000 people or something? I think it was 40 each night. 80 ,000 people. Shout out to Team Chapel for having me. It was so cool and fun. And it was so fun. And they treated me a little bit to Chapel's show team.

33:47Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

33:48Trixie Mattel:I'm sure they have a huge appreciation of the drag art. Yeah. She walked up to me. She came to take a picture beforehand. And she walked up to me. She goes, oh, my God, your eyes are gone.

33:58Katya Zamolodchikova:It's like, what does that mean? Because of the blind. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a little creepy. It's like, what's worse than Uncanny Valley? Just weird? Just weird.

34:07Trixie Mattel:and then it was me, her and Meatball and we're all putting our hands in and I go alright, we're going to put our hands in. Alright, on the count of three we're going to say have a great program. One, two, three. Have a great program. And Meatball looks at me and goes are you like proud of that? Because I couldn't think of anything in the moment so I just said have a great program. You didn't give it up to God? Oh, I should have said like on the count of three. One, two, three.

34:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Glory to God. What if you like had to like engage them in like a five minute prayer? That'd be so cunty. That'd be so cunty.

34:36Trixie Mattel:It was actually such a big show That I didn't really understand how big it was Which worked in my favor because I wasn't so nervous It's one of those things where it was so big and important That I didn't take a moment to appreciate it Because if I did I would get nervous So I was like it's just another day Just play the music

34:50Katya Zamolodchikova:Tell me exactly what happens Do you go out on stage Do they announce you or what happened They handed me a microphone And it was on at 6.10 The whole night was super early 6.10 how long did you play for An hour Which is not long for DJing

35:05Trixie Mattel:I was like, this is great.

35:06Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, but that's long for like a concert, a huge concert like that. So it was in Pasadena. At the Rose Bowl.

35:12Trixie Mattel:Yes. Right. And it was like Coachella where it was outside. Everybody could breathe. If you're sick of standing, you can go sit under a lovely tree and have a corn dog. Like it was so easy. The whole thing was so breezy and easy. And the first night was kind of hot. Soundcheck was 80 degrees. Oh, no. And, you know, I'm setting up my computer.

35:28Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, and it's still sunny out, right? Or no?

35:31Trixie Mattel:Yeah, still sunny out. and I'm setting up my computer because I'm running my visuals while I DJ off my computer. And you know, I do my own tech. So I'm sweating. I'm all the sun in my face. And when the sun's in your face, you can't see the computer screen. Oh God. Squinting. And they're like, you got to, you know, and I was, when you feel tight for time at a sound check, you start getting stressed. Yeah. That is, that is horrific. You know, horrific. And then at a certain point you're like, well, we're just gonna come out here and do it. Whatever. I'm in drag. It's DJing. People are so forgiving when you're in drag.

36:00Trixie Mattel:The thing you think is, ruin the show. No one noticed, you know?

36:04Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, but I mean, you've told me like, like instances where like the technology has like faltered or whatever. And that is so, that is like absolutely the worst nightmare. I'd rather be killed.

36:13Trixie Mattel:Sometimes it's not just technology. The first night I was pretty nervous. And you know, I'm playing three decks and one of them I, I had mixed up which one was playing and I just hit pause and stopped the music. It was like a full half second and 40 ,000 people heard nothing. I said, work. And then I just kind of flip my hair and keep going like intentional.

36:30Katya Zamolodchikova:Intentional. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no one knows. You know what I don't like when they do the, um, when, I don't know if you do it, but when DJs stop the music and have the people do it, I do that.

36:39Trixie Mattel:Okay. I do it during summertime sadness. So what do you do? You do. And you know, the bottoms freak out when you, I got my red dress. They start like Tina Belcher. What part do you like, let them do or make them do? I like to that song. I like to go, let me hear you. Kiss me hard before you go. And then they'll hear it turned on.

36:58Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, and then they go summertime set and like we'll get you. And they flip, they lose it. They love it.

37:03Trixie Mattel:They love to be included. So much of drag shows, don't you think, is not even about us. It's about them. So moments where they get to be the star and they sing, they love it. I don't think I like that part though. I don't like to overdo it, but sometimes I like to do it because they freak out.

37:17Katya Zamolodchikova:Well, the DJ thing is like, you're there to make them feel good.

37:20Trixie Mattel:You're like an audience to see me. They're going to be screaming. If I play cover girl, they're going to be screaming, cover girl. Yes, that's true. I want them to scream it. That's true. Okay. So the first night I had Kira Jete and Calypso Jete Balmain. Balmain? Balmain? I don't know. Well, if we're American, let's just say Balmain. Yeah. Balmain. Balmain. Both of them have performed with me before for solving disco. Okay. And they were awesome. Yeah. And oh my God, the second night I had Meatball and Onion Nuts and I will come clean about something that happened. So you know what a key change in music is?

37:49Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Inspirational key change. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So usually they'll put it in like, my heart will go on to direct a Celine where it gets more powerful. Yeah. feels more tension whatever i accidentally had my key adjust on i have a switch where i can match keys of songs let's say are really close and i want them to match exactly like this one's b flat minor this is b minor i want them to really marry so i might pitch the song up or down a half step the audience can't really tell and they go together perfect i had that button still on and i play anya's song i'm like this sounds a little low i was like it just sounds a her voice it was a Nicki mix, I think.

38:25Trixie Mattel:And I'm like, Nicki's mix sounds a little husky in the vocal cords today. Not bad. And I don't think anyone noticed.

38:31Katya Zamolodchikova:Tell me, can you sing it?

38:34Trixie Mattel:No. It's Nicki Minaj. And I will say, I was just like, I've heard this song before and my DJ ear was like, do I have it pitched down one little stuff? And I look and it is pitched down. Did you lift? Did you pull the pitch up? So I'm watching her and I go, how am I going to do this? Whether it's not obvious. And I see that she's running for a stunt. and the music stomps for one little second and she hits, falls into a split and when she hits the split, I pitch it up to fix it and it actually created a moment of like more heightened inspirational key change. And it's one of those moments where you're like that drag queen could have come back because I've been the drag queen whose music gets messed up so many times as have you.

39:14Trixie Mattel:Of course. And the rage you feel in your heart when the music is fucked. I never want to be a perpetrator of that.

39:19Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saved it thankfully. Full body chills. I was a DJ for like three nights at jocks. They, they trained me to use the DJ equipment. And I said, I was like, no ma 'am, I'm not going to, I'm not going to know, have this skillset because they're going to call me all the time and live right upstairs. And then you're going to be, I'm going to be the, I'm just going to turn into the fucking DJ who gets$40 a night. Right. No ma 'am. Right. But the, one of the performers loved to have the music sped up plus like 12 or something. That is a very old school drag thing to be like, can you speed it up?

39:48Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. It was wild. Yeah. Like that is so much. but then when you hear the song like when I hear Missy Elliott lose control it sounds like she's singing through molasses because I'm so used to hearing music make you lose control and it's so fast and it's so crazy like I've got a thick waist I've got a chubby waist in shape double blanket shake damn hawker show stop but do my thing motherfucker It's a hero clinic. Everybody here, get it out of control. With your hands out the door, it's misdemeanors. That's what it, and I did one night, Misery was doing her number, and she was going like this, so I could turn the volume up.

40:39Katya Zamolodchikova:But she meant the speed. She meant speed it up. So I turned the volume to a deafening level, where almost I was like, I was like, I'm going to sustain some kind of like aural damage here. it was and she would glare at me every time there's only four people in the audience so who cares but it was like oh my god DJing is so stressful

40:57Trixie Mattel:it is but like I mean in some ways it's like be aware of the fact that you have to pay attention and be accurate but don't let that get in the way of having a good time because ultimately DJs to me if I want to play really well and I look like I'm playing chess and I'm ignoring the audience that's not good either but if I'm like living and I'm living so hard that I'm messing up the music, that's not good either. You're like, woo! Yes, so I try to hit a nice middle. But honestly, when I do mess up, I always tell myself like, well, at least they know I'm really playing. Hello, that's true. Because I work with a lot of girls who have flawless mixing skills.

41:32Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Let's just say that. And they almost play exactly the same every show.

41:37Katya Zamolodchikova:It's almost as if someone had created a playlist that they simply press play on. Yeah.

41:41Trixie Mattel:That was good. But Chappell, the show was beyond. I got to watch both nights and the show was so stupidly above and beyond the skill level of any artist. Fina said that the production value was incredible. She comes out in like this, you know, really cool Renaissance garb, like dragon skin garb. The stage is a castle. Wow. The opening starts and it's this organ music and it's a book, a witch book. This is CR. Gotcha. And a big glowing hand opens the book and it's like the show was like, it was so horny. Yeah. Her singing, it honestly reminded me a lot of Cindy. Cindy's show was primarily about the songwriting and the singing.

42:22Trixie Mattel:Cindy Brady? Cindy Lauper. Oh. Cindy Brady.

42:25Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. That's literally who I just -

42:27Trixie Mattel:Girl, Cindy Brady's show. Like, Marsha's is much better. And I told her, I said, your show really reminded me. The next night I was like, it reminded me of Cindy, how the show is really about the singing and the songwriting. And she was like, oh, I love Cindy. I was like, yeah, me too. She, honestly, I can't compare it to anything other than

42:46Katya Zamolodchikova:Celine Dion? One of the best things I've ever seen. Really?

42:49Trixie Mattel:It was the best singing. And you're sitting there thinking, this bitch wrote all this fucking music. Did she really? This bitch has a, like, outer space level fame that was so sudden. And she's still out here running around the stage, really singing. Not like anything. Right up to the line where the singing is accurate. But she's not like, you could as a hundred boys. She's like having fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It just, she really ate. It was amazing. And then, that's where I saw Sarah Paulson. Did she leave any crumbs? No crumbs.

43:19Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh my god. Oh my god. What? Two more things. Guess, girl. Wait. So many celebrities were at that concert by the way. It was like Taylor Swift, Laura Dern.

43:29Trixie Mattel:Pedro Pascal came over and said hello. And I gave him a hug and I said, what are you going to give up this acting shit, baby? I see you in gowns. And he laughed. I always want to make an impression and then I swing big like that And I walk away being like, what's wrong with you? Why do you say these things? When are you going to start doing drag? He said something nice about like you and I, he was like, you know what you do is so magical people. And I was like, yeah, thank you. Literally. Oh, sorry. I was like, I loved you and Buffy killing it. And Fina goes, Pedro Pascal was in Buffy for one episode.

43:58Trixie Mattel:And Fina goes, that's the Mandalorian. I go, Amanda Lepore's here. I couldn't hear the Amanda Lepore. And I, I made sure she met him cause she loves star war. Yes, she does. So I made sure she, I mean,

44:10Katya Zamolodchikova:I had literally, I think that very night that you were there meeting him, I was watching him get his skull crushed by the mountain on a game of Thrones. Probably. So it was Mary. I've been rewatching that shit. Girl, girl. It's wild. The, it is, I don't know. I've talked about this before, but it just deserves talking about again, the, the way that they fumbled. So like this show, the most expensive show in the world, most, one of the most critically acclaimed everybody's Sunday night is like water cooler bonanza show. You know what I mean? Everybody's watching on Sunday night. Prestige TV. And once the books end and the writers have to take liberty with the story, it just tanks so spectacularly bad.

44:52Katya Zamolodchikova:I mean, so bad. It's just breathtaking. I really need you to watch it. I watched two seasons of it.

44:59Trixie Mattel:Two seasons? There's eight. It was a college course, Mary. It was an undergraduate degree. What do you mean? Those episodes are so long. Nobody knows anybody. None of these people I've met. Well, okay. Yes. And I, there's no cell phones. There's no cell phones. There's no grinder in the show.

45:16Katya Zamolodchikova:No, no. I know I, I, I'm going to, but I'm about to say that thing that I can't stand where people say you just have to muscle through the first four seasons. Like I'm not doing that.

45:25Trixie Mattel:Well, I don't think you could have been at home watching that because you were at the show. Let me explain. Guess who walks in? Who? Betsy Johnson. Oh, shit. And I see her from afar. Does she cartwheel and split? I see her from like here to there away. And I go, oh, my God. All these years of joking about it. It is true. That bitch looks exactly like it.

45:46Katya Zamolodchikova:Mary, when I had that really heavy razor cut bob. And it was like more of a straw color. It was like a gold. And it was in straw is the key word here because that was absolutely the texture. And we were tan. Yeah. Tan as fuck. And then raccoon eyes looking about 20 years older than I actually am. And I'm with somebody who knows you.

46:08Trixie Mattel:And I go, look, Katia's here. And I say it as a joke. And he goes, oh, yeah.

46:13Katya Zamolodchikova:Bam. That's not her. Yeah. That is an 85 year old woman. That is an 85 year old woman. That's not her. Yeah. That's why I stopped joking about my age. Because I say, I'm like, how old are you? I'm a 53. Like, Oh, you look good.

46:27Trixie Mattel:They believe it. They believe it without, without flinching. Nick is trying to perpetrate that he's, he's 29 now. And he's telling people he's 28.

46:35Katya Zamolodchikova:Mary, he could, he could say 24,

46:36Trixie Mattel:but he's been telling me like 24. I'm telling people I'm 28. And I said, hold, are you? He said 29. I said, Ooh, well,

46:44Katya Zamolodchikova:swing big bitch. Say you're 16. No, no, no, no. You got it. 29 is that nobody's 29. Nobody's 39. 39 is the perpetrator.

46:51Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Everybody's 39. it looks like house of wax. 39 is so fraudulent. If you are 39, you're not.

47:00Katya Zamolodchikova:No, you're either 38 or 40. It skips. It's like the 13th floor in a elevator. Okay. It is not an age that anybody is. No. Oh my God. Wait, so who else was, what other celebrity sightings? I want to see celebrities. You know, I'm not good at seeing them. SZA was there. I don't know what she looks like. Just a pair of scissors. I'm just kidding.

47:21Trixie Mattel:Again, I can't hear. A huge scissors? The Mandalorian. Amanda Lepore is here. I'm a DJ. I'm down.

47:30Katya Zamolodchikova:Pedro Pascal, Betsy Johnson, Sarah Paulson. Oh, Justin Tranter. Justin Tranter, Raquel Welch. I think she's died. I think she might have died. I'm not good at knowing who was there. I have no idea why I said Raquel Welch. You were there. Yes. I do forget that you are very famous.

47:48Trixie Mattel:I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. I'm on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter.

47:51Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, let's talk about it. Look at that. Yeah. Then what are they going to do? Girl, who the fuck are all these other people?

47:57Trixie Mattel:Well, I tried to edit everyone out, including the CEO of YouTube, but I couldn't.

48:00Katya Zamolodchikova:Over 20 billion served. I literally know you and Brittany.

48:04Trixie Mattel:Well, I do know a few of the people there. Several of them are sports commentators, which is why you and I don't know them.

48:09Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

48:10Trixie Mattel:But I do know Marquez. Okay.

48:13Katya Zamolodchikova:Was anybody afraid of you sexually?

48:15Trixie Mattel:No. It was really fun. And of course, can I just be sentimental for a second? You and I are drag queens. these opportunities don't come to us all the time especially in this four year period so I said to the CEO of YouTube and everybody there I said for you to have me on here right now at this time in American history I cannot tell you what it means to me I said I love doing YouTube this is so cool in a sleeveless dress but they asked me to wear red and white because it's YouTube colors they said most of you will probably wear black but we'd like a few of you to be daring and go for red so in 2025 for me to wear a red dress what am I Sydney Sweeney you know but it's oh oh so I wish there was a moment where we all could have sat I never actually got to sit and hobnob yeah mingle Brittany and I you know stood in the corner like two fags oh at this YouTube thing yeah I wish I would have just had more confidence to go say hi I don't know your channel what do you do but that feels shitty to say I don't know who you are

49:13Katya Zamolodchikova:yeah and also you look strange I think for some people I don't think so In drag?

49:21Trixie Mattel:I think some people would say it's horny.

49:24Katya Zamolodchikova:I know, but a lot of people are very taken. They're like, they're probably intimidated by it.

49:27Trixie Mattel:I think they're bricked.

49:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Hi, I'm not sure. I don't know you, but I'd like you because I want to fuck you.

49:32Trixie Mattel:I think their pussies are exploding. Oh my God. Chapel. I took a picture of Chapel. You know, she comes up to, I think my navel.

49:37Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh my God. She's so tiny.

49:38Trixie Mattel:And I go, you know, you're living a lot of lesbians dreams right now. Have my boobs in your face. And she laughed. And I said, I think I might be living a lot of lesbians dream by having your face in my boobs. It's like a lot of that. Yeah, a lot of that. A lot of the fingies. Would you like when the girls have the, what do they call them, bangers? I don't know. You know what? I am like. Because it's long nails and then these will be nubs.

50:00Katya Zamolodchikova:I'm appropriately ignorant of how exactly, what are the real mechanics of women and women's sex? I really, I'm not actually really sure.

50:09Trixie Mattel:You don't want to scratch with the nails. Of course not, right? Especially as a gay guy. Like I'm already on the verge of a fissure any given moment. Like, please don't scrape me up with the fingernails.

50:17Katya Zamolodchikova:Don't you perforate my rectum?

50:21Trixie Mattel:Don't you dare. I'm always one constipation event away from a fissure. Please don't do this.

50:26Katya Zamolodchikova:I know. I don't have the wherewithal or the fortitude or the mental stamina to withstand a fissure. I don't recommend it. No. I mean, I have. Do you know when you ever try to fit something in your butt and it's crossing the threshold of pain? No. Really? No. I don't push the limits like that. Okay. that's good that's good because it's like you become Bridget Fonda at the point of no return

50:50Trixie Mattel:I'm at a point in my life where I can't have a solid piece of yellow cheese without some kind of three day constipation I'm not trying to push the limits of anything I know okay is that okay with you? that is fine with me I'm totally okay with that

51:07Katya Zamolodchikova:no sincerely congratulations on the chaperone thing that's huge and on the Hollywood Reporter the cover girl put the bass in your walk and get a global entry and not arrested

51:18Trixie Mattel:I don't even really understand what it is

51:20Katya Zamolodchikova:Mary you do not know how lucky you are first of all global entry means you can basically kill somebody you can drag their corpse along state lines

51:29Trixie Mattel:you are the top tier trusted traveler and the country is putting a lot of trust in you to be a safe traveler so I take that very seriously

51:38Katya Zamolodchikova:but Mary I had to drive my fucking bony ass all the way to some place right by the airport on a day off and then go back. It was, took a long time and it was like a huge pain in the ass. So you really lucked out.

51:51Trixie Mattel:Next time we travel together internationally, I actually might need you to help me tell me what to do. Cause I don't even really know what to do.

51:55Katya Zamolodchikova:Are you kidding me? You take that little fucking card out of your wallet and you put, you, you hike your shirt up to expose them titties and you waltz right through the fucking, you cut the line and waltz right through. Are you serious? Have you ever, I mean, I'm sure you recall, let's say coming back from the UK and you go, you have to go through customs in the United States or what do you call it? Immigration. And it's, oh my God, I have to wait. I'm so glad to be home except I have to wait an hour and 15 minutes in this fucking line. Ms. Global Entry, she's like no, no, no, no, no. And she slingshots you right to baggage claim.

52:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Yes. It's a great way to describe it. Cheers to that. Yeah. Do you have clear? Yeah. I don't know why I do. I got clear

52:35Trixie Mattel:pre-check and global entry. Y 'all bitches can't take me.

52:37Katya Zamolodchikova:I know, but at that point I'm like I paid so much and I have and I've why don't you fuck me or something like you know what I mean I need Christy Gnome to crawl out of her spider hole that fucking con I hate that bitch girl I hate that bitch I hope she dies in a bus fire I know you want to talk house of wax she's horrible her fucking face is a threat

52:56Trixie Mattel:to this country's security girl I hate her I know I'm sorry I'm gonna punch her in a big fat face oh but I don't I just got global entry

53:01Katya Zamolodchikova:don't take over my pre-check shit please oh my god love you Christy love you bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

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