The Twelfth Day After Christmas with Trixie and Katya

24:36I think he said in an interview that he was the most proud he's ever been of anything he's ever done. And he should be proud because it was so impressive. It was like, I mean, I've been studying Russian for 10 years. Do you jerk your peninas? No, because I, well, I downloaded every clip available of them fucking, but then I deleted them because I, they, I cry. Oh, I cry. To me, it's so, listen, it's a show about two gay guys falling in love there's no fucking aids there's no fucking grape there's no fucking death there's no fucking like tragedy the only tragedy is like not being able what are we watching for we're watching for romance yes love love like amanda hugging kiss yes i mean and then but like fucking hot nasty sex fucking and not like there's no meth there's no like poppers.

25:28There's no like, it's beautiful. Longing. Longing, pining, yearning. Justify my love. Maybe I'll watch it. I've been watching something really unprecedented, which is I don't know what I got to be in my body. Oh, I went to Vanderpump's dog gala. And then I weirdly was like, I want to watch Christmas Housewives episodes. What does that mean? Because I lived with David for so long. I think I did mentally develop part of my brain. What does that mean? What does that mean? Like the Housewives that happened in Christmas. Gotcha. So I put on old episodes of Housewives of New York, which is. And what is the best season?

26:11Very, very, very, very drunk older women with young men fighting. Is it like, is it not a white refrigerator? No, that's Atlanta. And that's way, way long ago, right? This is like the 2012s and it's like old rich white ladies in New York screaming at each other. Is this Countess Luan? Yes. Okay. And that was kind of fun to watch. We're going to watch some of that. And then there's a new Amish show coming. Full body chills. I'm telling you, I'm like, we're already wishing I could have my own pod about it because this show, they have normal people volunteering to go live among the Amish. and at the end of it, they decide whether or not they're going to stay Amish.

26:53That's fierce. It's like the opposite of Rumspringa. But I'm kind of confused because a lot of Amish people like wouldn't be caught dead on camera. So I'm like, these must be kind of liberal Amish people to even allow cameras to be around. Or it's like candid Amish camera. I don't think it's candid, but like - Maybe the camera's a man out of wood. I think people are like, I'm so sick of the internet, social media over stimulation. I want to, I think life is better, like less stimulation. Like they're going not, they're going, they're skipping the light dumb phones and they're going straight to Amish country.

27:21Yeah. That's wild. And I like to learn about the Amish. I don't know if I need to, I don't know if I need to do that. My new thing is snake churches. Baby. Let's talk about the Testament of Ann Lee. Who's that? Thank you. It's Amanda Seyfried as one of the founders of the Shakers. And this movie was so fucking boring and so boo-boo nasty. Bunny's Shaker. Bunny's parents were Shaker, I think. Really? Their parents Shaker, yeah. no Quaker's very different Quaker's these people are doing a choreo they literally do like it's like girl you can't have sex she has a husband it's like it was so it was so disappointing Amanda Seyfried I adore her she's so beautiful she's such a good actress but they really just ought to it should have just like morphed into like a modern dance company because they're like they're on this boat it's like almost capsizing but they're praying but their praying is like did you pray today?

28:18Did you bring it in? Yeah. Testament of Ang Lee. I kept calling it the temperament of Ang Lee or the testic, the, the, the, the temperature of the testicles of the testicles of the testicles of Testament of Ang Lee. Sorry. Thumbs down. Amanda Seyfried thumbs up. I did pretty much finish every Christmas movie that exists. Did you watch Scrooged? Yes. Watch Scrooged. Um, whoever plays the fairy that flies, Carol fucking Kane. That's so funny. Toaster. Yeah. Her flying is magical in that movie. She is great. She's choose up that scene. I also love the scene where Bill Murray's in the elevator and opens the chest and it's all those screaming like demons.

29:01Or what about that fierce, um, flash forward with Claire, Claire, Claire, they're just children. Oh yeah. She look Margot Kidder, yellow teeth, love like, like so fierce. Like that was when people had yellow teeth. I also went to a stage production of a Christmas Carol. in Louisville, Louisville, Kentucky. I went to see a stage. Was it a community theater? No, it was a professional regional theater. I'd never seen a Christmas carol. Like, obviously, all these - It was a cold, bleak Christmas Eve. Like, that kind of thing? Yes. And they're in, like, period outfits. Do they have the solid gold dancers?

29:32No, no, no, no. They're in, like, the Jiminy Cricket outfits with, like, the little hat and the tailcoats. So you couldn't see their nipples. Merry Christmas to all. It's like that. You couldn't see their nipples. You couldn't see their nipples. I did like it. Can I tell you? wait did we talk about do we talk about It's a Wonderful Life oh I think so okay so I've been really Christmased out of my mind this year so I was in Milwaukee they have something called the Stackner Cabaret which is a tiny maybe 120 seat room and they do a lot of like Route 66 songs of the American Interstate what like they do like Life is a Highway where it's like four people who sing doing songs that are like the 1970s were huge for women blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I will follow him like they do medleys and do like historical shows.

30:14I don't know how to describe that. Car wash. Yes. It'd be like that. So last time I went there, I went to see Beehive, music of girl groups of the sixties, which was amazing. Oh, that sounds awesome. All bangers. Yeah. No skips. No, you can't skip a live show. That's the thing too. You go to the bathroom. I kind of treat it like a gong show. If I don't like the song, I'm like, boom. Yeah. So I went to see, this was a stage production of, it's a wonderful life. That was a like 40s, radio station doing a radio play of It's a Wonderful Life. So the stage is set up like a small radio station. And as you walk in, you see the actors in their period outfits come in, drink water, warm up, gargle.

30:55And they are pretending to be radio play actors doing It's a Wonderful Life as a radio play. It was amazing. I love that. So when they're not in scenes as characters, they're doing bells, doors slamming, snow crunching. They're making all the sound effects. We're doing that within just like crap at the Pasadena play. It was so cool. Tell me why it started out and I was like, this is kind of corny. Okay. Whatever. Um, but they're doing singing commercials, like a radio play, like jingles and stuff. Yeah. Brought to you by laundry detergent, like doing the play, like it's a radio when the summer is blazing.

31:25Yep. And then when somebody is not on microphone, the other people are in character as actors, like seated drinking, watching, making the jingle bells or whatever, doing the sound effects. So many sound effects. Nobody was ever just sitting. All these people were up there doing every little sound effect. Anything. Wind blowing. There's wind. Everything. Now, were they doing any acapella or they had tools and stuff? No, but one of them turned around, pulled out and sounded right there. Tell me why I went from yeah, it's a little corny, but okay. Crying like my mom's dead. The end when I mean, I'd never seen the movie It's a Wonderful Life So maybe I just didn't know what really happens.

32:05I don't, is that the, it's kind of, it's a Christmas Carol where he sees his life. If he wasn't born, it's not the Nazi movie. No. And then at the end, that's life is beautiful. He has this new appreciation for all the good things in his life because, you know, when it runs to the streets, Merry Christmas, whatever. I'm crying. Like I'm at a general hospital, St. Emma Roberts, general hospital, standing over my mother. Pull, they pull the plug. I'm crying. It was so good. and to me maybe the brain rot something to look at at all times the story and jingle bells and shit no that's fierce and they all had period wigs and costumes on it was great I just loved it no I'm so happy I want to see it I'm so glad you told me about it fly to Milwaukee go to the Stachner Cabaret I still want to see that paranormal fucking activity thing it's in London now well you can eat all of our asses it's in London now it's so good I know you describe it like it sounds riveting.

33:03It scared me to death. That's so cool. I've never been scared to death by anything live other than a haunted house or me in the mirror at like 3 a.m.

33:14I'm heading to Phoenix for a gig and while half of the country is slipping on ice and shoveling driveways, I'm packing sunglasses and a bikini. That Phoenix sunshine just hits different, especially when you booked an amazing house on Airbnb. I'm talking morning walks in short sleeves, coffee outside on a patio, squeezing in hikes through Saguaro cacti, and alfresco dinners because the weather in Arizona wants you to live your life outside, rather than huddling next to the radiator as the sky outside is gray and lifeless. I booked a stay through Airbnb and honestly, it's going to make the whole trip so much better.

33:48I'm going to have room to spread out, a real living room to hang in, and a table where I can actually sit down and eat instead of juggling a to-go container on a lumpy bed. I can shut the door when I need quiet, open things up when I want light, and enjoy actual privacy that feels like my own place. And if I'm traveling with my crew, we can actually all stay together to make the entire event smoother. And while I'm soaking up the sun in Phoenix, I'm already planning the next trip this summer to the Amalfi Coast. We're talking fresh seafood caught that morning, long days on the beach that melt into even longer nights, and hopefully a fling with a dark-haired Adonis named Antonio.

34:24Trips just hit different when you book a home on Airbnb. And I already know I'll be booking my next day through Airbnb again and again and again. With Airbnb, every journey feels like it's being written just for you. This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by Ro. Greetings all, it is I, Kachizamo. As you may or may not know, I am busy. Very busy. Being a singer, comedian, baker, actor, bricklayer, and artisanal mouthwash entrepreneur is exhausting. I wear many hats and apparently none of them come with extra time. So for my 2026 resolution, I am done wasting minutes, moments, seconds, milliseconds, and any other unit of time that has yet to be invented.

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38:00Otherwise, 1.00 % APY applies. No min balance required. Chime card on-time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See Chime.com for details and applicable terms. What did you do for holidays? Oh, my God. Let me tell you. So I went to a really gay fucking Christmas party. Oh, and I met the guy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They had, I, um, no, no, no, I didn't. It was a white elephant. I didn't bring a gift. So I skipped out before that. Um, but nobody told me, nobody told me, nobody told me. So I had trouble for bringing a host gift and you won't even bring a gift to, oh, no one told you.

38:32I did bring my own soda though. You better believe that because they had, that's nice. They had a cute thing. They had little like, you know, wine glasses and you have name tag. So you can't, you know, you know who to roofie. And, um, so you write your name on the glass and so you don't lose it. So I kept, you know, refilling my Coke and then I went to water and I would like pretend there was like, oh God, it's so strong. And then I was talking to the guy who made your little heads. Jacob. Yeah. No, Sean. Oh, the Trixie heads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Pretty cool. Thank God. Cause there was a lot of really like cool people there.

39:03It was like a very like chic crowd. Luckily that loser was there is what you're saying. Isn't that awful? Sean, if you're listening to this, I'm so sorry. No, you are a loser. A flop. No. that we had, we like sat down right next to the bathroom and for like probably like 35 minutes. Did you cook? No, it was funny because I thought I was like, we're right by the bathroom. It smelled like shit and like, because it's a bathroom. Cocaine makes you shit. Well, right. I was like, people went into the bathroom was like, no, Tommy invited me into us into the bathroom to see the color that he painted it.

39:36And I'm like, people are going to think we're doing cocaine. Also, no color. There's only seven options. Like, yes.

39:44green. It was like, it was like a, a coral orange. It was actually, it was actually cunty. I thought it was another psychic moment. I had a really good one the other day. Well, I told you, but did I tell you about my grinder one? No. Mary, it is kind of, it is, this has happened like three times. So I'm doing the grinder podcast, um, had luscious on Mary. I said three words. Yeah. Jinx had on, I said two words, right? I asked her a question. She gave me 12 pages of text. Jinx, how have you been? Well, I was born in 1980. That woman is verbose. And thank God, because some of the other guests were not so forthcoming with their words.

40:23So I was talking about, we're talking about, I forget who I was talking to. Anyways, I talked about getting a sexy massage by two guys. Okay. And then I talked about later, I asked them if I could pay them to watch them have sex. Oh, okay. It was like a voyeuristic thing. Like, and they were like, oh yeah, of course, wonderful. And I had a great time. But then I was like, oh, I kind of felt like I want to get directorial. And then I was like, that's kind of weird. I go back after the interview, I go back to the back room in my phone. I check my phone. I got a text from them and I hadn't received any communication from them since June.

41:01And I'm talking to the minute, at least to the 10 minute mark. the moment I told that story more or less, give or take 10 minutes, they texted me. That's crazy. I mean, it's not crazy, but it's like, that's a, I had a weird thing just yesterday. I called Mateo. Mateo had a medical event. I don't want to spill his tea, but I called and said, are you okay? I just had a feeling to call you. And he was like, how did you know? Mary. And then I was at my rheumatologist last week and I had a dream that she was getting married. I went into the rheumatologist and she was like, yeah, I said, are you getting married?

41:33She said, yeah. How did you know that? I said, I, I, I, maybe she told me, my brain remembered a giant sparkling engagement ring. Oh, she was in a wedding. She, sorry, it was at her. You saw her drive the car with cans dragging. You were driving behind her the whole time. By the way, I have to spill some realty. Do people know that this room becomes Kelly Mantle's pod? Can I spill the team guys? There's, I was watching Kelly's clip because a certain guest was, went viral on there and I had to watch. Um, Alyssa Milano. It was me. and you guys don't know purple curtains pull closed and they bring in Kelly's milk crate or whatever she does she just they bring in her trough and Miss Kelly gets you know they give her a quarter G yeah they pump it no it's like saw they have a toilet with like a saw and a handcuff they chain her to the and they chain her to the desk love Kelly love Kelly wait wait okay let me tell my list Not done.

42:34Okay. This is a big, oh, baby. Baby, I want to talk to you about some good, have you heard the good news? Have you heard the good news? There was, sorry, I'm just going to silence this before I hear the good news. Okay. I have to silence mine too. Because a lot of people are calling me too. I get a lot of calls. I get a lot of calls. So, mold. Right. Moisture. It famously rained so much in LA recently. It was so bad. The LA River became a river. Yeah, my guest house was leaking. I'm out there changing towels on the floor like a maxi pad. Mama, let me tell you what I was doing. Okay. First of all, don't ever get a moisture reader if you are not a contractor, a carpenter, some kind of professional person who does work or deal with wood, drywall, moisture, building, whatever.

43:31because what I did is like, they have a setting for drywall, hardwood, softwood, and masonry. So you press it against the thing and it would like give you a reading of like it's dry or wet. If I put it like on, you know, if we just put it on like a puddle in the floor, it'll go. Oh, wow. I did that. I didn't even know that existed. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's one with pins. You can stick them in. And then there's one that like, it's more professional. It costs like 300 bucks. girl ask me why i saw some bubbling some definite water damage like a small patch so i went apeshit that read a little like it dinged then i went down it dinged again every fucking corner of every room dinged red i was like well there's water in my whole condo on every floor in every room are you in the top level?

44:27Um, uh, well, there's three levels. It's the three, it's a townhouse. Sorry. So I'm like, well, it's over. Like we're back to not even back to square one. We're worse than we were in the beginning. My contractor comes over. He's like, yeah, those corners are metal. That ding is dinging metal. That's not moisture. You fucking idiot. He didn't say that, but I was like, what a relief. Or no, is that bad? Mary. That's good, right? It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Better than Drag Race. I was like, I was like, my eyes went, I almost wanted, I just, do you want a blowjob? Do you want to say something?

45:06Funnily, yeah. I was like, I could not believe the relief. Do you know? I felt so stupid, but the relief was like overshadowed the stupidity. I had a similar good thing, which is my condo, well, I don't want to say the address. Damn. Yeah. My condo where we film YouTube, which is located, drop a pin. Yeah. Nick knows it has, when it's rain, sometimes leaked in the closets, the closet's leak, which means my drag gets wet. All my equipment for camera equipment gets wet. Love that. And I had the, I've had the ceiling, the top sealed probably five times. Yeah. And this time I went over there being like, here we go.

45:40I'm going to get the phone number ready because I know it's going to be a fucking swimming pool in there. Nothing leaked. I think it finally found the leaks and sealed it. So similar success because with the rain, I immediately was just like, well, we're going to be swimming. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's Waterworld. Kevin Costner. But they're doing the deck. So there were... Mary. Can I say, you're for Mass. I'm for WIS. Weather, we know about weather. Why not just make it so that if it rains in LA, nothing leaks? Why not just do it? We know about weather. We drive in 12 feet of snow. Right. Why not just make sure the roof does this a little bit?

46:17Yeah. Why not just make sure? Why is everything in LA flat so the water can just pool? Yeah. Hurricane Bob, she got us. She got us, but that was a hurricane. Hurricanes drop trees in your house. That sucks. Tornadoes in the Midwest. But Miss Rain, Miss Snow, unfazed. What about London? Where it rains every single fucking day. Every day. That's what I mean. I know it doesn't quite rain in LA, but it could. And it does. And so why is every roof, not just flat, but a divot for water to collect? What is going on? Andrew and I got a new studio. And when we drive in, they had me like, oh, she can't park there because it's flooding the restaurant downstairs.

46:59Because I was, I had parked in, just like you said, a divot. The restaurant's flooded? The restaurant's leaking because there's a pool right above it on a concave driveway. I'm like, what is wrong with you people? Fix it. And like, where are the, where are the belts for this? Like where? But Mary, this, this is the only time I really wish I had a reality show. because after I did the moisture thing, they had put a tarp. They had done a very nice job of putting a plastic tarp on the deck. But that day was pouring all fucking day. It was bad. And all night. Yes. And there was some actual visible water damage in the studio in four spots.

47:38I'm like, well, it's over. You know what I do? I go up there with two brooms. I start sweeping the water to the drain. No, no, no, no, no. Then I get a wet vac. then I got a wet back borrow Patrick's wet back Mary it was so embarrassing because I was soaking wet it was like trying to blow dry your hair in the shower you know what I mean it feels very the notebook when she's all wet like why didn't you write me like I don't know but I didn't have hard hard nipples I'm not you know what I mean it was like I love the notebook but I was like in my mind I was like okay it's going to be like it's going to get that thick.

48:18It's going to just, the whole fucking roof is going to fall down. Yeah. And it didn't. It didn't, thank God. And I would love to believe that had something to do with me wetbacking. I think you did it. Yeah. Let's say that. Yeah. I am humiliating. All this time off for holidays. Well, you know, because I didn't go to Wisconsin this year. I have guests, which by the way, at this stage of my life, having house guests is so much better than being a house guest. Like I love hosting. I love cooking for people. Oh my God. I've been cooking meals every night. I love to shower and wake up and say good morning to everybody.

48:49Crudité? Hot cough in the morning? One night I made lasagna. One night I made pot pies. And then I just made pancakes for breakfast yesterday. I like to, because most recipes are for more than two people. So it's kind of nice to be like, let's do it. And all this food will be eaten. Imagine if you did like a whole spread and you just ate it yourself before everybody woke up. Of course. Hiding food for myself. Breakfast was amazing, guys. What are you all eating? Sometimes I find candy in the house that I put away for myself like a squirrel. and I'm like, oh, work. That's okay. That's okay. It's a little treats.

49:20Yes. And it's fun to have house guests. It's fun to, you know, my house is all Christmas-ed out too. So I was like, let's do, let's do it. But, you know, I get overstimulated. So I've been, after a nice long group social day, I'll be like, I'll go to bed at 10 and read my book. You know, it's nice to decompress before you go to bed. No screens. No screens. But I've been reading this book called Mr. Magic. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is creeping me the fuck out, girl. I got to read this shit. I just started it. So I don't know what happened. So I can't spoil. I'm going to write it down.

49:50But it's about this 90s. I don't know if it's 90s. Yeah. It's about a kid's show, a retro vintage kid's show that everybody has seen. But nobody online and nobody who's seen it has any real memory of like who's on it or what happens. And then all the kids who starred in it are having a reunion in their like 30s. And none of them can remember being on it. And it's creeping me out. I don't know what it is, but something about, it's a great premise. Yeah. Cause what is that? Let's like, what'd you call it? The Mandela effect? No, the Mandela effect is where you like think a logo is something and it's not like that stage of your life.

50:27I have so many memories of TV shows, but don't remember what it was. The Streisand effect is when you try to get people to not look at something and they do. Right. Why is it called the Streisand effect? Because she famous, she has this giant fucking mansion. She's like, no, don't photograph my huge fucking mansion. Of course, everybody photographs the mansion. yeah yeah yeah that's why it's called the Streisand effect yeah yeah yeah yeah it says you know from the person who has a mall in their basement you know what makes me think of social media posts that piss me off so bad that it's like don't look don't zoom into the left corner and then you zoom in and it's like don't read the description got you every time I lose an iphone straight in the pool straight in the water that's pooling on top of my house we need to go to the computer store oh wait I can't, I'm saving it for the next episode.

51:15Are we doing two? I got a good one. Yeah, let's do it. Wait, hold on. Spilled a bottle of silicone lube, a bottle with the cap. This is literally like a terminal diagnosis. You know, so you've got, you've got, you've got a death in the family. You've got your whole family died. Brother sister. Wow. Yeah. Dead gone. And then then you have, you know, like a world war and then you have silicone lube in the, in a whole bottle. Remember when you said your nephew, was like splish splash, taking a bath, skating in your house on it. Maybe that was the other house. And now the horror continues. It follows.

51:49Why are you using silicone lubricant? Because I have a weenie that is so dry. But water's hydrating. Water lubricant is better. It's so. But it washes off. I hate the feeling of silicone on your like taint. Oh, see, I love the feeling of silicone. If I could, if I had a sex dungeon, which I definitely don't, I would like have a, uh, uh, you know, when, if I was like Epstein Island or whatever, I would like have, uh, adults come over and, um, who wanted to, and then we would like just roll around in like silicone lube, um, kiddie pools or waterbeds or whatever the fuck. Okay. I love it. I love the, it's so, and you can do it in the shower cause I have that wonderful shower that I can have sex in.

52:34Right. But you can have sex in any shower. But mine, you can have sex with like four people. Oh, do you like group sex? No I don't either But I love the option Like where we can just shift Cause we have like The one thing And then the You know All the difference I like have no I had a lot of group sex When I was younger Really? I've had a lot of Three ways and four ways Not orgy shit Okay Not showing up at a sex party None of that Yeah Good for you Not me I was with them Oh sorry I've been A third Or had thirds Many times And four ways And all that And it's very much At this stage in my life Completely unappealing to me yeah it's not for me I'm also I'm not like you know devastatingly hot so like I worked with this model at the grinder thing and I was like what are you doing what are you doing tonight he's like I'm going to orgy and I was like a fierce I think you should have sex with fans I think it always goes well yeah I hope it's not he won't care I found the white whale is it the white whale something you've been looking for Brennan Frazier oh my god oh my god you were dorking your penniness like I had a heart attack and then I floated heaven.

53:43The floating is not the white whale, the white whale. Oh, fuck him for the world. Not him. Darren Aronofsky. Um, I, so this is personal, but I won't mention the name. I hook up with this person on grinder. That's anonymous enough. I'm sorry. Fuck off. If you listen to us and you're like, that was me. You weren't named. Yeah. Yeah. Shut up. His name is Bob Nelson. What are we supposed to get on here and be like, I had some food from a restaurant. Yeah. someone and something happened. It tasted relatively delicious. Yeah, no. He just wanted to have his ass eaten. Okay. Okay. So that is too good to be true for me.

54:20Right. Because that is my favorite sexual activity to do, to perform. And usually what happens when a bottom says that is that they, when they say they like having their ass eaten, it's kind of like, yeah, eat my ass and then fuck me. Right. And it's, they like it, But I feel like they're kind of overselling their enthusiasm a little bit because they want to get railed sometime. Also, like, love getting your ass ate, but it's not a 40-minute activity. Baby. Unless it is. Sweetie. It was. Darling. Do you get locked jaw? My tongue is still sore four days ago. So let me just tell you. Let me tell you.

55:00He, it was incredible. He was not a tweaker. Wow. Not, he just, just a little bit of poppers, a little bit of poppers. But you know who's, do you know who champions? What? The extreme sex activities? What? The sober people. Well, yeah, because they have to. The people in the program. They're the ones doing the group sex. I was at the dinner. I was at the dinner with the guys who came from Berghain. Hello. Thank you, diapers. No, but, no, but. So anyways, comes over. I mean, the pictures, don't do them justice. the booty is like I was like I was like at the you know at the Louvre like just admiring I ate his ass for two hours wow but I didn't I didn't have poppers because I don't do poppers I don't because I I take Viagra and it's like you can't so but I ran what a fierce way to go though of course bloodshot she died doing what she loved well I didn't know like he mentioned poppers I was like I don't have any he was so good I ran out the house and my slides and my little short shorts and a tank top to the smoke shop.

56:03They were closed. Ran up the street to another smoke shop to get him. Not you stopping the sex to do Instacart. Mary, my own. Are you out of your mind? I didn't drive. I ran in my slides. He was. Do you like Emil? Do you have Emil? Emil not right? Emil not right? You lock Emil? Mary, and then it was worth it because he truly enjoyed it. And not to be gross. his asshole was not just clean it wasn't just like a fresh skin smell it was scotch guarded it was beautiful and it it it it tasted good right it's like he sugared the rim or something well that's the teriyaki that's the A1 it's the A1 it's the A1 wait is it do you guys take that no honestly I hope this person's not embarrassed because this story makes them sound like a star mama and guess what walked to my house, lives close enough to walk.

57:03Maybe you can do it again. Are you joking? I'm just waiting for the tongue frenulum to heal. I think that's a wrap. I think we're good. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, I'm not done. Okay. It was like, imagine Monica Bellucci or Angelina Jolie's lips. Blistex every day in Hawaii. So hydrated, so moist, so supple. His butthole looked like Angelina Jolie's lips. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just the feeling, imagine kissing that was beautiful woman. Detox. His butthole looked like detoxed his lips. No, it was just, it was, it was, I, I thought every like few minutes I was like, this is gonna, this is too good to be true.

57:40He's gonna like lose interest or whatever. Is he robbing me? You keep one eye on your wall. Hello. Mary, he was in my bed. He didn't even move from the bed when I, when I went on my little errand. Boop. You left him in your house? I sure did because I knew he was trustworthy. What's he gonna take? Mary. Oh, my taxidermy. What the fuck? which cliffhanger next episode. You're going to love that. Okay. Love that. Let's stop it there. You guys. Thank you. Why are we saying thank you? Ew. Bye. Ew. Ew. Thank you for what?

58:25you