Wigs, Weapons & Wisdom: A Three-Act Tête-à-Tête with Trixie and Katya

7:16Trixie Mattel:When you turned around in the mirror, was it like Meryl Streep? I'm a girl. What was it? No, that's a really good question. Thank you for asking. Was it baby filter? Was it time traveling to a simpler time?

7:27Katya Zamolodchikova:Well, the baby filter makes me look like a Russian twink from the 90s. Oh, word. Which I'm a little, I got to cool it. Oh, no, sorry. The FaceApp youth filter. Very dangerous game I'm playing with that filter. Very dangerous game. Very slippery slope. Because that is what is going to take me right to Dr. Zismore. and that's when it turned me into a Palm Springs freak show. Because I'm going to be like, make me look like I'm 16. I'm going to look like a 60-year-old stretched Palm Springs weirdo. Do you know what I mean? I mean, you have fake lips and a wig on. But my lips don't really look fake.

7:58Trixie Mattel:In Nebraska, they do. Not here. Really?

8:02Katya Zamolodchikova:I mean, they look fake? I'm not the one to ask. I don't think they look like, they don't look like duck lips. No. No.

8:11Trixie Mattel:No. I mean these lips look huge and they look like a duck's lip don't ducks have some kind of corkscrew dick or don't they have a beak in their pussy or something they got a beak in their pussy and a corkscrew up their ass no pigs have corkscrew dicks which see at the bullet honey and then also what about them walruses don't squids have beaks up inside them

8:30Katya Zamolodchikova:no squids have beaks but but that's just that's just how they eat

8:34Trixie Mattel:ducks have corkscrew I don't have a corkscrew dick so when I'm topping I gotta spin like a pinwheel what about

8:39Katya Zamolodchikova:you pig what about What about Walrus, the movie? You've seen her? Isn't it called Tusk? Sorry, that's absolutely... This Walrus-y? I was like...

8:52Trixie Mattel:I watched that like... Shout out to Justin Long because she's always giving.

8:55Katya Zamolodchikova:Justin Long knows how to pick material. I was like, when is he going to stop hollering and just talk? Mom, and that movie turned... I'm not good with body horror.

9:04Trixie Mattel:That movie is pretty sick.

9:08Katya Zamolodchikova:It's fucking crazy. Crazy. It's sick. Spoiler alert. He goes and get this dude, podcaster. Hello, watch out. Travels to somewhere in Michael Park from Succession. Fucking turns him into a walrus. Yeah.

9:23Trixie Mattel:He was in Justin Long. Obviously, he's in Jeepers Creepers. Barbarian. He's in Tusk. Barbarian. He's in. I just saw him in Weapons. Let's talk about. He's so good at everything. And I always have thought he was so fucking hot. What up, faggot? I love him. My favorite part of Barbarian. Oh, yeah. what up faggot i i like when he's clicking he's um on that computer and he goes yeah he goes heck yeah bitch or something like that love that shit he's such a good douche in that movie so good and he's just i always thought he was so hot he's really beautiful in jeepers creepers i think he likes the gays i think he doesn't hate them but that's hard to come by now i guess i don't want to get political but just one second yeah a loved one told me yesterday that i don't need to worry about gay marriage going to the Supreme Court and that I watch too much shock media.

10:10Trixie Mattel:I said, oh, CNN?

10:13Katya Zamolodchikova:Shock media? Democracy Now! Every morning with my Froot Loops and fucking Frosted Loops, I get a Gaza death toll.

10:21Trixie Mattel:Right. It's like, I'm not deep diving, deep lib, like Reddit, 4chan material. I'm just turning on local LA news. Yeah. I'm not watching shock media. What do you think shocking about LA news is the hard nipples? Super hard. Hard nipples. Yeah. This one woman, she says...

10:37Katya Zamolodchikova:You could cut glass with those nipples.

10:39Trixie Mattel:Of course, and they do. This one woman says, the way she says downtown LA, I'm very addicted to. She says, downtown LA. I will detail your car with my nipples.

10:51Katya Zamolodchikova:On the news.

10:52Trixie Mattel:On the news. On the news. On the news.

10:54Katya Zamolodchikova:Wait, I made my friend Joseph watch Ghost. He had never seen it. How, what do you think of it? Mama, we had a time. It's a great movie. I cry every time. Oh, I was trying... I had a pillow held up. like to separate us because it was Niagara Falls, Frankie Angel the whole time.

11:10Trixie Mattel:The end when she says bye to him for the last time, it's too much.

11:13Katya Zamolodchikova:When she's at the top of the stairs with the penny in the jar and she, I lose it. And then of course the whole bank scene. The whole bank scene is fucking funny. It is so funny. I also like when she's doing her readings

11:27Trixie Mattel:and the room is like a waiting room.

11:28Katya Zamolodchikova:Orlando, Orlando, Orlando, he's here. So good. I love that.

11:32Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Anyway, pissed off at being a medium. so funny shout out to Whoopi she really gives it

11:38Katya Zamolodchikova:and she won the fucking best supporting actress Oscar I believe and so well deserved she deserves it also

11:43Trixie Mattel:the other day when I was in P-Town I watched I just turned on Tubi and you know Tubi has all the hits Tubi is like the free streaming platform that has like the best worst movies is she related

11:56Katya Zamolodchikova:is that the ones where people like

11:57Trixie Mattel:no no no what are you saying well

12:01Katya Zamolodchikova:I'll talk about it later Tubi Wilson is Mubi Tubi related to Tubi?

12:06Trixie Mattel:Tubi is like, okay, remember that movie you saw in the 90s on cable that you forgot existed? Tubi has it. Like Hand the Rocks the Cradle? Yes. Okay. Drop Dead Fred. Oh, okay. Won't Kiss Goodnight. Oh, with commercials. With commercials. But it's free. But I don't care. I don't fuck with that. And sometimes Tubi has series too that you might not find anywhere. It's weird series. Old shit. Well, what about Mubi? Well, I don't have Mubi. Is she related to Tubi? What about Miss Doobie? What about the porn streaming platform, Mubi Dick? So I was on Toobie and I watched Girl Interrupted and Whoopi's in that too and she eats.

12:44Trixie Mattel:I didn't know she was in that. She plays the nurse, Miss Valerie. That movie's so beautiful. I remember reading that book and being almost underwhelmed because the movie really hits. Yeah, Noni. The part with Brittany Murphy on Alive. What is it? On Alive? Kills herself. I'm used to saying raped and killed. No, we say unalived and graped is like too much. No, graped. Graped. Graped. There was grape. But if I was raped, I wouldn't be like, I wasn't graped, I was raped. You gotta say graped. Oh.

13:13Katya Zamolodchikova:You gotta use the grape emoji way in print. Oh, because it gets blocked.

13:17Trixie Mattel:Oh, graped. Oh.

13:26Trixie Mattel:I just want to talk about what I did yesterday, which is I wanted to see Freakier Friday. I went to the TCL movie theater and saw Weapons. Because I wanted to talk to you about it today. I'm so glad you did. The IMAX TCL movie Chinese theater, one ticket, $45 ,000. $27. $27.

13:51Katya Zamolodchikova:The heart of Hollywood. It's a little ridiculous

13:53Trixie Mattel:to be stepping over urine for a$27 movie ticket.

13:57Katya Zamolodchikova:Okay. Here's the thing. The Marlboro 123 Cinema, I'm talking, we're taking it back to 1991. $3. That's what I'm saying.

14:05Trixie Mattel:In high school, I mean, I don't want to be old. In high school, I think we would go see matinees for$6.

14:11Katya Zamolodchikova:$3 I saw Wayne's World seven times. I just think$27 was a little steep. But here's what you're, but I don't because with those two, you break it down to hours. So that's what? $13.50 or whatever, an hour? For that unforgettable experience with Miss Amy Madigan giving you everything you ever needed in your life. Uncle Buck. She's an Uncle Buck. Wait, what? Oh, Amy Madigan. The woman who plays Gladys. Yeah, she's Iris in Carnival. Incredible. She's John Candy's love interest in Uncle Buck. Good for her. Miss Amy Madigan. My two favorite movies. I love Uncle Buck. Amy Madigan, you need to know what kind of bitch you are.

14:52Katya Zamolodchikova:That bitch is. She is so horny. She's so good. She's so good.

14:55Trixie Mattel:I didn't know what the movie was going to be about other than the trailer. It was a huge surprise for me. Oh, yeah. And I saw all the trailers. I thought it was going to be alien vibes. I thought it was going to be abduction. I had no idea. Brainwashing. I don't know. I thought it was going to be three different movies like Barbarian. When The Witchcraft started, I was like, oh, my God. I did not know this was going to happen. I was so happy.

15:15Katya Zamolodchikova:I was like, this is just a witch movie.

15:17Trixie Mattel:Oh, well, also. Spoilers, by the way. I did get very high, too. and the part where the principal of the school comes running at her at the gas station. Mama. I was...

15:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Right after he had bludgeoned his lover to death with his face.

15:36Trixie Mattel:Right. Which, by the way... Thank you. That's a good fuck. You know what I mean?

15:41Katya Zamolodchikova:Like, all these fags, like, spit in my mouth. I'm like, cave my skull in. Yeah, cave my skull in with some black liquid, black diarrhea. I love the little thing. It was like, you know, I could make your parents hurt each other. I could even make them eat each other. You don't want that, Alex, do you? Amy Madigan, where's the Oscar? Also, Whitmer. Who?

16:01Trixie Mattel:The dad is played by Whitmer. Oh, Josh Brolin? No, the kid's dad. Oh, I don't know who that is. Whitmer Thomas? I did that show Gay for... Not Gay for Play. Gay for Play? What was the show that Matt Rogers used to host on... Oh, the game show. Oh, the game show. Whitmer Thomas and I were partners on that. Oh, really? So I was watching it. Was he doing the fork thing there too? No, but they partner a straight person with a gay person. He was my gay person. And I was watching the movie and I go, Oh, yeah, I'm gay. She's back from vacation. She's straight. You have a wig on and suddenly I'm straight.

16:40Trixie Mattel:But I was like, I was high. And I guess I felt like I was like,

16:48i was it's fun to see someone you really know in the wild in a movie and not know about it

16:54Katya Zamolodchikova:yeah it's it's very jarring like when i found out um it's never happened to me but right i'm sure it will

17:05Trixie Mattel:no weapons really ate the actress who also was an i watched wolfman on a plane recently

17:09Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, I heard that was a major flop. B-O-R-I-N-G.

17:14Trixie Mattel:Yeah, it was okay.

17:15Katya Zamolodchikova:Julia Garner, give it to her. Julia Garner, but she really was amazing in weapons. But who stole the show? Miss Tweaky.com. The tweaker. That tweaker. So what he is, Craig, what's his name? The director, I forget his name. What he's so good at is like comedy and horror seamlessly blending.

17:35Trixie Mattel:Yeah.

17:36Katya Zamolodchikova:You know what I mean? Like it was, I love him. I love him. I love Barbarian. I love this. There, I read some bullshit review about this. It was like so stupid. The tweaker. I mean, a lot of people didn't like the chapter from each perspective. They thought it was redundant. It kind of slow. I loved it. Right. I loved the tweaker. He was so funny.

17:56Trixie Mattel:He was so funny. And I loved the, um, the tweaker element of, or I loved the storytelling element of every time we see somebody else's point of view, we learn something new about what we saw before. Yeah. It all stacked. It really felt like a mystery.

18:09Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, totally. I mean, because it was a very mysterious setup. And I also didn't mind that it was a very simple solution. I know you hate this, didn't love this movie.

18:18Trixie Mattel:It reminded me of Long Legs a little bit. Because, I mean, Nicolas Cage in Long Legs reminded me a little bit of Gladys. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Comes in kind of mysterious. I don't know what it is. And also in Long Legs, we couldn't tell if it was, is it murder? Is it paranormal? Right. What is it? I really in weapons didn't know what was happening with these kids. But I do know that I will be running the way those kids ran for the rest of my life.

18:42Katya Zamolodchikova:Baby. Black mouth.

18:45Trixie Mattel:Black mouth. Eyes blaring. Eyes bugged out. My number one, one of my number one celebrity crushes is in this movie. Josh Brolin? No, Alden Einrich, who plays the cop.

18:57Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, he was fabulous. Oh, yeah. I would absolutely I would yank him right off I would suck the dick like clean off his body he is so

19:06Trixie Mattel:I saw him in this awful movie called

19:09Katya Zamolodchikova:The Godfather Beautiful Creatures

19:10Trixie Mattel:Heavenly Creatures something I saw him in this awful like teen movie like 10 years ago and I remember being like who is that he is so hot usually don't look when he showed up in this movie with that mustache I said holy

19:21Katya Zamolodchikova:yeah

19:22Trixie Mattel:shit

19:22Katya Zamolodchikova:you got a dick sir you need that sucked

19:26Trixie Mattel:he's just he's gorgeous he's so hot would you suck his cock the whole body the whole body yeah it was great I loved the movie so much it was really good $27 is a lot I've been doing an inventory personally on a lot of horror movies so I just rewatched a bunch of movies

19:43Katya Zamolodchikova:do you not want cinema to flourish in these trying times in these streaming wars in the age of streaming wars do you not want to go to the cinema

19:50Trixie Mattel:it was an empty theater I mean the one I went to it was maybe less than 20 people Mars was packed I don't like to go to packed because I'm going to tell you something I love This was fabulous to see in a packed theater. I'm sorry. When something scary happens and everyone laughs, I get pissed off.

20:05Katya Zamolodchikova:Well, what about when a jump scare happens and I fly six feet into the air? That's fine.

20:10Trixie Mattel:Arms akimbo, legs spread. What's the thing scary happens and then the friend in the friend group who got scared cheats out and everyone laughs. I'm like, shut, Becky, shut up. We're being scared right now. You need to go to the Alamo Drafthouse. Well, I live down the street from the Chinese theater, so I always just walk there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the Chinese theater. I saw Dune there. she got me right together. And walking from my house to the Chinese theater at 10 at night was kind of its own kind of horror movie.

20:35Katya Zamolodchikova:Ah, who you telling?

20:36Trixie Mattel:Girl. Do you realize the route that I have to get there? I got to bring blades and a Glock. It's, and then I was high as hell too after the movie trying to walk home scared for my life. No, I'm telling you. If anyone was on my side of the street, I was like,

20:49Katya Zamolodchikova:the route is, I swear to God, it's like, and I'm like, like T, I'm more dangerous than any of these people. No, you are.

20:56Trixie Mattel:And I wasn't even alone, so I don't know what I'm scared of. Like, in my mind, I'm a 70 pound woman dripping in designer clothing looking lost. And also just dripping wet. Right. And limping. You know, like a final girl.

21:11Katya Zamolodchikova:With a breast out. Yes.

21:12Trixie Mattel:With a breast out. With a sign on my back that says like, come kill me. I just came from a gangbang but I'm not satisfied. Right. The gaping hole is just leaking the semen and I could be tracked very easily. So I've been re-watching a lot of horror movies. I just re-watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

21:27Katya Zamolodchikova:Okay.

21:27Trixie Mattel:Hadn't seen it in a while. Very scary for a movie that happens in the daylight the whole time, pretty much.

21:33Katya Zamolodchikova:You know? Yeah. Daylight movie, scary. Candyman also. Candyman.

21:38Trixie Mattel:Hereditary. But no, that's nighttime. It's around the clock daytime in that movie. I know, but... Oh, sorry. I was thinking of... Midsummer. Midsummer.

21:47Katya Zamolodchikova:Midsummer. Midsummer.

21:48Trixie Mattel:That's all daytime. Scary. Baby, do you see Bo is Afraid? No.

21:57Katya Zamolodchikova:same director of hereditary uh Midsommar

22:01Trixie Mattel:hemorrhoiditary sorry I literally fail payment and you're just limping around with a bloody ass funny you should mention that shout out to the gay men who want a top and then you go oh I'm not prepared and they go I don't care shout out to the shit eaters I just shout out to the good old shit eaters

22:19Katya Zamolodchikova:had this conversation with a gay guy who is a similar let's say he's in LA for like me. Um, I, we were like, you ever fuck a 10? He's like, no. I was like, why not? It's like, cause they want me to shit in their mouth. Thank you. End of story period. That's a wrap. Thank you. If you have it, if you meet a 10 in LA, you better have that fucking laxative on lock. Cause they want you to do nothing except blow ass into their mouth. Yeah.

22:50Trixie Mattel:I'm not doing that, But also, I've seen some of the comments that at times people believe that I'm a kink shamer. Well, this is not. But I don't feel that saying that that doesn't resonate with me is kink shaming.

23:03Katya Zamolodchikova:No, I don't think it's kink shaming. I just think it's disgusting.

23:06Trixie Mattel:And also, I think something like my nipples are wired sounds funny.

23:11Katya Zamolodchikova:I'm not kink shaming. We're not kink shaming. That shit just sounds funny. Baby, I've been pissed on in the shower. Love that. But I will not have blowing acid to my mouth because that will give me. Giardia. Giardia. E. coli, semi-sepsis, all the crap. A boner. Yeah, a penetrated, too long of an orgasm. Right. An erection lasting four hours longer. Pre-opsis, yeah.

23:33Trixie Mattel:Yeah.

23:34Katya Zamolodchikova:No, it's crazy.

23:35Trixie Mattel:What else did I watch? Oh, I just re-watched The Shining. I just watch it like twice a year. I can't help it. It just eats.

23:42Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

23:43Trixie Mattel:It eats. So does Dr. Sleep.

23:45Katya Zamolodchikova:I'm really surprised. I watched that a couple times too. Dr. Sleep is amazing. Wrecker Ferguson and her jugs they have a denim shirt baby to make a woman to make a villain so terrifying and dress her in leggings and like a top hat and feathers and then a flannel and then feather and beaded hair pieces I was like that's a vendor at Burning Man for sure a soul sucking villain she is terrifying she's selling forever bracelets at Coachella those things that they link on you

24:18Trixie Mattel:Who wants that? She's got glow sticks in her trunk. You know what I mean? Who wants the bracelet you can't take off? Where they fuse the link on you. Like. But you know what?

24:28Katya Zamolodchikova:Straight people don't have cock cages. It's like that's what they're doing. Do you know what I mean? I tried to watch a porno with a cock cage and I said, no. I need to be free. The dick doesn't look good in the cock cage. It just feels like entrapment.

24:40Trixie Mattel:Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to put this lacrosse thing over my dick and we're going to call it what? Sexy? It looked kind of like Saw. like at any moment reverse bear trap yes

24:53Katya Zamolodchikova:wait wait did you watch together not yet I liked it you did good I love Dave Franco

24:58Trixie Mattel:obviously and I love Alison Brie

25:00Katya Zamolodchikova:Alison Brie this is maybe controversial but Alison Brie so talented Dave Franco so hot I do my criticism is that I don't think Dave Franco's acting is quite at the level of Alison Brie who I believe is a fantastic actor sure So it was a little imbalanced, but the body horror was cunty. The Foley work was amazing, like the squelching, the sound effects. Because mama, when they get together, they get you together. I heard it's about codependency, and I'm afraid that's going to hit me where I live. It's a pretty heavy-handed metaphor. Don't worry about it. It's like...

25:37Trixie Mattel:What did you think? I thought weapons was about two things. It was a witch story. Don't you think there's a few too many addicts in it for it to not be about that? a little bit.

25:47Katya Zamolodchikova:I don't think it's...

25:48Trixie Mattel:There's an alcoholic. There's somebody falling off the wagon. There's like multiple stages of addiction in this.

25:54Katya Zamolodchikova:I know. Totally. I don't really think it was about... I don't think it really needs an interpretation.

26:00Trixie Mattel:I thought it was also maybe about school shooting.

26:01Katya Zamolodchikova:Well, I know. Also with the red herring of the AK-47. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it brings up a lot of stuff, but I don't think... I don't know. I didn't even really want to interpret it. I was just like, that witch is cunty. I thought it was about how the two-party system doesn't work.

26:15Trixie Mattel:and if you didn't get that you're not paying attention I'm not here to educate you

26:19Katya Zamolodchikova:it was clearly about reaching across the aisle and then breaking a stick and then having kids girl if I could break a stick if I could just snatch off a little piece of your wig girl when that scene where she where Julia Garner's outside in her car falls asleep and Miss Thing with the scissors cunty cunty I was like my blood pressure my blood pressure and then just you think she's gonna slit her throat she just snapped oh god you gotta go see weapons I saw it. I went for you. I'm talking to them. People on the 405, the 101, the 110. Okay.

26:50Trixie Mattel:And then I also watched For You. I watched a bunch of stuff in preparation for this because I knew even after a month we'd have nothing to talk about.

26:56Katya Zamolodchikova:Titanic.

26:56Trixie Mattel:Nope. Nope. I watched Bring Her Back. Oh! Bring Her Back. You want to talk acting? Sally. Sally. She brings it. She brings it to every ball. She brought it to us in Shape of Water, so I knew she would bring it to us. She's an incredibly talented actor. Or that bring her back shit up. She was not in a horror movie. She was in a drama. And that's what made it so fucking good.

27:19Katya Zamolodchikova:Those Philippou, I don't know how to pronounce their names, the Australian guys. The knife chewing? Sweetie. There are very few moments in movies where I have to look away. And this was not torture porn like Saw. I love that shit. And it doesn't bother me. No. It's still fake.

27:35Trixie Mattel:I was fine with it. I mean, there was moments in my life where chewing on a knife could have improved my dental health. So I was kind of on board.

27:40Katya Zamolodchikova:That's how I feel at the dental hygienist.

27:42Trixie Mattel:literally

27:43Katya Zamolodchikova:nobody in America has dental plan that's what people are gonna be doing spoiler alert there's a point where the young boy who is not something ain't right with Kevin oh god there's a knife in the mouth that is it's so hard to watch it's so fucking it is it's so

28:01Trixie Mattel:ah and also the main actor who's a teenage boy looks like a real teenager which never happens in movies yeah if Netflix had produced it That would have been Josh Brolin.

28:13Katya Zamolodchikova:35. Well, it would be like Benny Drama in his show where he's going to, it's a college freshman at 33. Girl. I love that shit. Yeah. It's real Beverly Hills 902 and 0 throwback. But no, the child actors, there was some criticism that I read about the sort of like veracity of that situation with child services and stuff, but I didn't really care. Like, I don't need to believe that this is a plausible scenario. It just seemed to me that it could be. do you know what I mean like they would this would never have happened logistically with um like I don't know do you know why they they would make a house call don't you think well but I don't think this woman I think that I forget exactly what the argument was but it did seem pretty compelling like this woman would was not vetted or I don't know like she was clearly had she would not have gotten custody so quick of these people sure what's also a different country They might have different rules.

29:10Katya Zamolodchikova:Is it in Australia? Is it? Maybe. I don't know. But, you know, who cares? Also, the actress who plays the blind character, she might be blind in real life.

29:21Trixie Mattel:I'm not sure.

29:21Katya Zamolodchikova:She was fabulous.

29:23Trixie Mattel:It reminded me of, I think, Hush. One of the main characters is... Death. Yes. It adds a lot of fear and vulnerability as the viewer. If you're in a predator-prey situation and you're the one who can't see, it's very heightened we're gonna go try and we're in the pool now honey love it

29:47Trixie Mattel:I went to tea dance when I was in P-Town it was new wave night love that never danced harder in my life

29:52Katya Zamolodchikova:I love the idea of a tea dance in the afternoon

29:54Trixie Mattel:4 to 7 go and have a drink and then it was new wave so it was like blondie B-52s that shit and I was losing it me and 50 year olds nobody dances like 50 year olds the 30 year old gays who are trying to like look hot or whatever in their horrible themed outfits are over on the deck staring. They're in groups staring. And the old gays, the married gays, the ran through gays and the fat tags are on the dance floor. The diaper tags. Dancing. New Wave Night was really, really fun. And then I also wanted to say I had a rental for a big part of my trip. My time off, I rented a Ford F-150 pickup truck.

30:32Toxic.

30:32Trixie Mattel:I became toxic.

30:34Katya Zamolodchikova:How many gays did you kill? How many How many hours did you run over? I was like, ma. Did you run over Missy Bile?

30:40Trixie Mattel:Something about a big truck like that. My first truck was an F-150 when I was in high school. So I took me back to. You drove an F-150 in high school? Manual. Oh, yeah. Transmission. Honey. Oh, manual transmission. Who are you? I'm country. Who are you? I'm country. Who are you? Sarah Plane and Tall. And I swear to God. You had to teach me how to. It changes my personality.

31:04Katya Zamolodchikova:Can we please make a YouTube video where you teach me how to do the manual transmission? I'm dying to know. And how to Dougie.

31:10Trixie Mattel:So me driving around in this pickup truck, listening to like friends in low places. I mean, the way I wanted to get truck nuts and a bumper sticker that said my pronouns are USA. Like I was like. You got mud flaps with the girls? Butt flaps?

31:23Katya Zamolodchikova:Mud flaps with the girls on them? You know that.

31:25Trixie Mattel:Oh, no, I didn't. It was a rental. I wasn't pimping my ride, my rental.

31:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Well, next time you should. And let me make a little suggestion to that silhouette. But you add a, for the.

31:35Trixie Mattel:A pussy? The dolls. Add a pussy on the mudflap? No, a dick.

31:38Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh.

31:40Trixie Mattel:For the dolls. Of course. You know? Put the truck nuts on the mudflap so that it kind of hangs. Love that shit. And also there was a lot of, not enough young people in P-Town because it's so expensive.

31:52Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

31:52Trixie Mattel:But a lot of those straight people were groups of young, straight. I mean, again, they're not fag hags. These are like just norm core straight people. And norm core Gen Z straight people dress like 90s Republicans.

32:06Katya Zamolodchikova:Wait, young, normal straight people?

32:07Trixie Mattel:Groups of young girls and boyfriends. Like 20s. God, who can afford it? Doing the thing with the scarf tied in the ponytail and the fancy pearls. Doing the East Coast rich lady cosplay. No, not the New England blue blood. I am fascinated with the Gen Z fixation on dressing like a 90s Republican. Or dressing like they got dressed in the dark. Yes. I keep watching these TikToks that are like, I actually look up to millennials because they're so free. They just aren't as afraid of like being cringe or whatever. They're not really concerned with looks maxing. But also, I wasn't 20 trying to dress like a racist grandmother.

32:49Trixie Mattel:so like it's weird to want that i just think it's weird to want that get my starched shirt and my culottes by the way i'm 21 yeah where are my linen palazzo pants and i know that my generation of women were wearing like suit jackets and pumps to the club and that didn't make sense either like statement necklaces like millennial girls also dressed crazy but also you're i think But it was the Freakham Dress era. Yeah.

33:15Katya Zamolodchikova:It was the, you know. But also, I think, but there is an important detail that even within any generation, there are subcultures and like groups of people like there's goths in every generation. Right. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, of course. And so like, I guess you're probably, you must be referring to like the sort of just mainstream.

33:35Trixie Mattel:It's like the boyfriend has the mustache and the hair that communicates racism. Oh, okay. Okay. It's like Morgan Wallen? Yes, with the mullet. And then the girlfriend is dressing like a 70-year-old Cape Cod heiress. God. And everyone looks like they are saving themselves for marriage.

33:56Katya Zamolodchikova:Don't you want to just kick him off the dog?

33:59Trixie Mattel:Yes. Yeah. Yes. You are not Carolyn Kennedy or whatever the fuck. I guess I mean for straight people, in gay world, it's like when we get your money, we don't say anything. Right. So I know we can't play both sides of the fence where it's like, well, if you're coming here with your Caucasian herosexual money and you're using it to give to businesses, I know that's not evil. Right. You buy the ice cream, you know, buy things from the art gallery. Do it, sis. Do it, lady. But like. Do it, you white bitch. But at the same time, I just wonder, like, what do you get out of it? Because, like, I'm going to showgirls to see Ryan Landry wiggle around with his dick out.

34:35Trixie Mattel:Right. And you're coming here for what exactly? Freak show. freak show they're like let's go see something kind of crazy let's see kristin chenowith at town hall you know what i mean and like let's let's like don't you think there's an exotic

34:48Katya Zamolodchikova:freak show element dina martina i think no but there's an exotic freak show element to it i'm assuming maybe like don't you want to like hey babe we're gonna go down to um the cape and see some fucking three inch nipples and a guy with on a chain you know my god people at the rental

35:03Trixie Mattel:blown out their uh blown out the electricity putting the dyson on the nipples making sure that they're good in...

35:07Katya Zamolodchikova:Air fryer up the ass? That's not a cock cage. That's a ninja air fryer. It's nuts. I don't know.

35:15Trixie Mattel:I had some wonderful meals though. I really love P-Town. You like seafood though? No, not at all. Not at all. Not at all. And I was with a group who did. So, I mean, all my years I lived there, I never went to Lobster Pot. There's a lot of places I just never went to. Yeah. And I was like, to see people get served the oysters you're gonna go ahead and sip that snot

35:38Katya Zamolodchikova:out of that shell honey? I had one oyster one time I had to try it lobster, rats of the sea as you know the fishy smell of the sea and the cape is something that is not not attractive to me I hate seafood I hate it so much I think it's all disgusting but like that's what really prevented me from enjoying the most beautiful destination I've ever been to the Amalfi coast like postcard everywhere you look like incredible incredible but every fucking dish at a restaurant is like muscles clams lobster, fish

36:15Trixie Mattel:I only went once and I was in the Mulfi Coast for 18 hours are you serious? I DJ'd I think for Dolce & Gabbana it was beautiful and they set me up nice I had this big DJ deck on like the edge of a cliff it was too nice It was too nice. It's incredible. But I wish I would have been able to stay for vacation. It was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. It's also one of the most expensive.

36:38Katya Zamolodchikova:That's what I hear. Oh, my God. That's what I hear. Crazy. Anyways, what else? I wanted to tell you something else. Tell me something. I had... Sex? Yeah. Huge, if true. Yeah, I did. And it was nice. With who? It might have been an escort. in fact it was

37:03Trixie Mattel:I can I talk to you about the standards and practices of this I have reached a point with this pod where I'm never sure what story to tell because we've been in situations where we don't share someone's name or anything and they still get mad that we mention something yeah so I'm always not sure about what we're allowed to talk about

37:20Katya Zamolodchikova:or the opposite Daymory the magician that's his name oh you didn't say his name no he wants me to oh gotcha Daymory D-A-Y-M-O-R-I the magic castle magician check him out but I will not I don't even remember the escort's name but what was the rose and the thorn of this ex um the rosebud you saw the no no no no um well you know it was interesting he had a super hairy ass which is not my gig but because he was so so hygienically on point I didn't it was lovely because I I like my favorite thing to do other than watch movies is to eat ass.

38:05Trixie Mattel:Right.

38:09Trixie Mattel:Let's take a break. I had a DJ gig in P-Town and there was these two lesbians standing directly in the front the whole time and they were watching me. No, no. But sometimes you can feel the female gaze. The sexuality. You know, some of these young women want to fuck us which as lesbians makes perfect sense right gay men no it does but i wasn't even in drag oh no i had a pajama pants tied on my head like a headscarf i looked like alicia keys um i look so good uh and these two girls in the front were vibing and bopping and i waved and they waved back and then i went like this like are you guys together and they said yeah and they hugged and then i played some more and then i just like as a joke was like and they laughed and they laughed and it was all it was funny and then one of them turned with the laughing was like

39:03Trixie Mattel:she was ready damn

39:05Katya Zamolodchikova:why didn't you do it

39:06Trixie Mattel:I could have any woman in that room that night provided she was a lesbian who was already with someone with Gluck that is who wants me and I do that to a gay man they start puking they start puking

39:21Katya Zamolodchikova:my god

39:24Trixie Mattel:I'm having a great lovely week back in Los Angeles Kicked out the house sitter. Kicked out the house sitter. Yep. She had some food in the freezer. Ate that. I said, I don't think I remember buying cheese curds, but I have an air fryer. Mom, I love that air fryer. Miss Ninja gets it going. Oh, I have the Paris Hilton one. It was a pink. And I just received a birthday present. I got a pink toaster too.

39:47Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, I have. I have.

39:51Trixie Mattel:I've wanted this pink Smeg toaster for so long, but I've been too cheap to buy it. And I got it for my birthday. $27 at the theater how could you possibly I know goddamn weapons got me in the poor house okay

40:01Katya Zamolodchikova:I have to make I have to give you a warning and an apology in advance I'm not gonna get you a birthday present that's fine

40:08Trixie Mattel:I'm totally fine with that I I'm reaching an age where I actually want nothing great really I will want like my food I want you know I have a this year I got a random TV gig on my birthday which I'm fine with

40:29Trixie Mattel:very small that's major I'm really excited I know well I bought for my birthday oh my god that's so wonderful a few blocks from where I grew up I rented a cabin to go stay in for my birthday I was going to go to the Marinette County fair and then I got this gig so I'm going a day late so I called my brother and was like you can stay in the house for a day by yourself but I'm taking a red eye to Green Bay Wisconsin instead of renting a car because I wanted to do the gig. Hell yeah. That is so content. I don't care what it is. I think it's even non-speaking. I was like, I don't care.

41:01Katya Zamolodchikova:Who cares? They just show your foot.

41:03Trixie Mattel:Also, I get nervous doing acting. So I was like, non-speaking? Love it.

41:07Katya Zamolodchikova:Love it. Yeah, especially on a show. When our managers floated the possibility of us being on Hacks, I was like, I don't want to ruin that show. Yeah. You know what I mean? Robbie Hoffman.

41:23Trixie Mattel:My boyfriend just got an Emmy nomination. on Hacks. Your boyfriend? The lesbian on Hacks with the slick down hair with the glasses.

41:33Trixie Mattel:She's very Jewish. Ooh. What is... The one who's like, I'm not a lesbian or I'm not gay, I'm a lesbian.

41:41Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, oh, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. She's very funny. I did a stand-up gig

41:44Trixie Mattel:with her once and I immediately fell in love. She's very funny. Great to see people rise to the top. Not us, though.

41:49Katya Zamolodchikova:Nope. Still middling. Yeah, I'm comfortable coasting my way to the middle.

41:54Trixie Mattel:Do you ever hear, I went to my annual checkup today. I go to my annual checkup at One Medical.

42:01Katya Zamolodchikova:They scrape the barnacles off your feet?

42:03Trixie Mattel:I don't know what I'm there for. It feels dumb to go to the doctor when you're not sick, but I also feel like in America, if you have access to a checkup, you should go.

42:10Katya Zamolodchikova:I know, and I think I'm way overdue for my prostate exam.

42:13Trixie Mattel:You're supposed to start at 45 unless you have a history of in your family.

42:18Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, I thought it was 40.

42:19Trixie Mattel:Girl, I started at 25. I was like, are you sure?

42:22Katya Zamolodchikova:I think maybe another opinion

42:25Trixie Mattel:I got one a year from like 25 to 30 and they were like why are you here? You're too young and I was like I'm being proactive I never thought I'd be in a situation in my life where I could afford care so I don't know what to do on the table could you imagine oh I bend over and just push a load out at the proctologist and by the way there's people in my proctologist office who have said that they're fans too and they said it after the exam and I'm like great

42:49Katya Zamolodchikova:I don't believe you that there's such thing as a proctologist a butt doctor I believe there are doctors who specialize in that area but they're not called proctologists

42:57Trixie Mattel:girl and I was having all these rashes from doing drag from all the shaving and stuff and a few weeks off drag your skin gets really good when you're not in makeup your skin gets great and I went to the dermatologist the other day my dermatologist Dr. Pearl Grimes and she said let me see and she took me in the light and she goes you look damn good and I was like thank you Not bad, kid. She said, if you don't mind me saying so. I was like, sure. Say anything. I'm doing one of those patch tests where they, you need like three or five days to do it, where they, I think they do a bunch of pinpricks from all different ingredients.

43:33Trixie Mattel:Elegies? Yes. Oh, I love that. And then you have to keep the plastic on it for a few days and not shower. And then you come in and they see what's reacted.

43:40Katya Zamolodchikova:I want to do that.

43:41Trixie Mattel:I don't want to do it, but they're doing a cosmetic one because, I don't know, when I'm in drag all the time, I start to get face rashes. I'm trying to figure out what it's from.

43:48Katya Zamolodchikova:I mean, there's so, I mean, gosh. I'm like, it could be the shaving cream. It could be. The chemicals in the abraded skin.

43:57Trixie Mattel:Yeah. She thinks that for drag, like she's like, you might not be allergic to a chemical. Your skin just might not like being fucked with that much anymore. That part. Which is, yeah.

44:08Katya Zamolodchikova:Drag sucks for the face. Well, on the fourth day in a row for me when I'm trying to pack like mud onto blood. Yeah. It's just a little challenging. what about Monday

44:19Trixie Mattel:I texted Katya Sunday because I thought we had Netflix the next day and I texted girl I'm emotionally preparing myself for Netflix tomorrow

44:26Katya Zamolodchikova:and then I had a heart attack

44:28Trixie Mattel:and then I checked my calendar and I was like you bitch why did you think that? I don't know I love doing it but there are long days and I do have to the day before like enter a stasis of zen and be like tomorrow you will be up at 7am

44:41Katya Zamolodchikova:getting a drink the emotional preparation is like is like non-negotiable plus if I had to if I learned that like at 7 p.m. the night before that I was going to do two days of Netflix I'd be like

44:56Trixie Mattel:can I give you a problem with weapons sure I didn't make it we're cutting off people's hair but then we get we get the witch by cutting off a piece of her wig it's an item it's an item it's an item remember because they got all the stickers from they cut the red hair off and I was like so what they're going to go kill Kathy Griffin I was like we're like No, her wig. Right. But I thought the other people were cutting off their real hair. Some of them.

45:22Katya Zamolodchikova:She did cut off some people's hair, but then she - The principal was a ribbon, I guess. Yes. The ribbon. And it was just, it's just a personal item. A personal item. Hair's pretty personal. The wig is, I mean, she's got, I was texting with my friend. She was like, when she goes to the salon to get that one hair done underneath that one good hair. Of the braids. Yeah. So fierce. Love. Why is, I do think there's like maybe a little bit of an overcooked trend with the Baby Bangs. The Baby Bangs as a signifier of evil. Baby Bangs as a signifier of robot. The Baby Bangs as a signifier of other. Just because you got Baby Bangs doesn't mean you're crazy.

46:05Katya Zamolodchikova:It does mean you're non-binary. Yeah.

46:10Trixie Mattel:Baby Bangs is not a great drag name, or not a horrible drag name. It's true. What about this drag king name I thought of? Colin Sick. That's perfect. Love that, right?

46:19Katya Zamolodchikova:That's perfect. Colin? Colin Sick. That's perfect. Call me now for your free reading. Let's wrap and chat.

46:25Trixie Mattel:Oh, okay. Sorry.

46:26Katya Zamolodchikova:I do want to, you guys, go see Weapons. Go see Together. You can catch it on streaming. It's not that great, but it's good. And then, um...

46:33Trixie Mattel:Look at my hat and what I got sent in the mail. Oh, they turned off. The lights turned off kids sent me this hat. I get mail from children. Bye! Bye.