In short
The Basement Yard episode #523 mixes a fashion/underwear rant (thongs, G-strings, fishnets, wedgie talk) with food talk—especially ranking pizza bagels, discussing how to eat Hot Pockets without burning your mouth, and pitching “Basement Pockets” Hot Pocket collabs (including sweet cinnamon-roll-style ideas). They also discuss protein drinks/soda (Olipop, diet soda), fiber, and general eating habits (mixing vs separating food on a plate).
Guests
No guest is clearly identified in the transcript; it appears to be the hosts chatting with each other (repeated “we” and “you” dialogue). Named people are not guests; “Coach” and “Spotify” are mentioned only in a promo.
Key claims
Thongs/fishnets are framed as uncomfortable or “not for comfort,” with Lita credited as popularizing thong/“thong on the hips” style. Pizza bagels/Hot Pockets require “science” to cook/eat correctly (pinch/squeeze to manage heat). Hot Pockets should be limited to pizza and bacon/egg/cheese; ham/ham-and-cheese is rejected. Protein and fiber are increasingly important; diet soda is “zero calories.”
Notable examples
Raven-Symoné and Cheetah Girls; Matt & Jeff Hardy fishnets; Lita (wrestling); pizza bagels plate numbers; Hot Pocket “radioactive sleeve” and flavor list (e.g., barbacoa, chipotle chicken, Philly cheesesteak).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VODoll-like Faces and New Shirts
0:02 to 0:23
Discussion about faces looking doll-like and trying on new shirts.
“Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together.”
Doll-like Faces and New Shirts
0:38 to 1:30
Discussion about faces looking doll-like and trying on new shirts.
“It felt kind of doll-like, to be honest.”
Comfortable Boxers and Wedgie Kinks
1:30 to 3:20
A humorous exchange about underwear preferences and odd kinks.
“How do you feel about G-strings versus thongs?”
Thongs vs. G-Strings
3:20 to 5:00
A lively debate about the practicality and appeal of thongs and G-strings.
“Except Becca you can keep wearing them Sorry too much Jesus.”
The Problem with Fishnets
5:00 to 6:40
Exploring the cultural implications and perceptions of fishnet stockings.
“I just, I feel like, like, I don't have big nuts, but they're heavy.”
Nostalgia for Lita and Thong Culture
6:40 to 8:20
Reflecting on Lita's influence on thong fashion and nostalgia for early 2000s pop culture.
“I'm thinking of every heel I've ever seen.”
Fashion Trends in Catholic School
8:20 to 10:00
Discussion about school uniforms and how girls made them stylish.
“But that's what was happening to me, dude.”
80s and 90s Girl Groups
10:00 to 11:40
A conversation about iconic girl groups and their fashion statements.
“I just think it looks like, oh, I have a little time.”
Memorable Disney Movies
11:40 to 13:20
Hosts reminisce about Disney movies from their childhood and their significance.
“Oh, by the way, giant fat crush on Raven-Symoné when I was younger.”
Pizza Bagels and Snack Culture
13:20 to 14:00
A fun segue into discussing pizza bagels and various snack foods.
“I'm getting really tired on these poking promises, promises.”
Show all 27 chapters
Pizza Bagels and Snack World
14:00 to 18:00
Discussion about favorite snacks, particularly pizza bagels and their preparation.
“I mean, all the videos that I've seen of him are just hilarious.”
Ranking Pizza Bagels
18:00 to 26:30
Hosts rank various pizza bagels and discuss their preferences on eating them.
“I feel like just base level usually, yeah.”
The Science of Eating Hot Snacks
26:30 to 27:44
Hosts share their experiences with pizza rolls and Hot Pockets, discussing the best ways to eat them.
“Yeah, and I leave the bread, and I'm like, oh, this is fucking disgusting.”
Introduction to Hot Pockets Discussion
28:00 to 28:56
The hosts express excitement about discussing Hot Pockets.
“Before we touch on this, because I do want to talk about Hot Pockets, we do have some sponsors for today.”
Introduction to Hot Pockets Discussion
28:59 to 30:51
The hosts express excitement about discussing Hot Pockets.
“But it's high-quality stuff, so go check that out.”
Halloween Merchandise Promotion
33:04 to 33:50
The hosts promote Halloween-themed merchandise and share a sneak peek.
“It says the base yard with a little pumpkin on it.”
Hot Pockets Discussion Begins
33:50 to 34:18
Hosts dive into their love for Hot Pockets and their unique characteristics.
“I like the radioactive sleeve that it has on a hot pocket.”
Creative Hot Pocket Ideas
34:18 to 36:54
The hosts brainstorm potential new flavors and themes for Hot Pockets.
“There's only two acceptable Hot Pockets that you can have.”
Hot Pocket Flavor Exploration
36:54 to 40:44
The hosts discuss various existing and hypothetical Hot Pocket flavors.
“First of all, we came up with this idea, so if you take our basement pockets, you're in trouble.”
Hot Pocket Nutritional Discussion
40:44 to 42:00
Hosts talk about calorie counts and nutritional values of Hot Pockets.
“That would be the easiest thing I've ever done ever.”
Hot Pocket Conversations
42:00 to 50:06
The hosts discuss various flavors of hot pockets and their calorie content.
“listen christmas is right around the corner you know what's that mean it was like a christmas was sponsored by hot pockets pumpkin spiced hot pocket that sounds disgusting pumpkin spiced latte pocket.”
Unusual Ice Cream Flavors
51:18 to 56:00
The hosts explore bizarre ice cream flavors, including sunscreen and barbershop.
“Uh, there was also a story that came out that Van Llewen made a sunscreen flavor.”
Creative Ice Cream Flavors
56:00 to 1:00:06
Explore outlandish and humorous suggestions for ice cream flavors.
“I think an explosion, you ever go like You know when the fireworks are over and then the winds come in So like you get a smell of that I do like that, yeah yeah yeah What about this, this is a real simple one Coins!”
Nostalgic School Memories
1:00:06 to 1:02:50
Discuss the flavors inspired by school memories and holiday treats.
“And then just cookies that your teacher made that are kind of burnt.”
Axe Body Spray and Fragrance Discussions
1:02:50 to 1:06:30
A humorous discussion on Axe Body Spray and its various scents.
“Hey man Sometimes you take risks What about Diaper No No, no, absolutely not.”
Nostalgic Scent Experiences
1:06:30 to 1:10:01
Reflecting on childhood fragrances and their cultural impact.
“I want to get a vintage bottle of Axe Body Spray.”
Nostalgia for Abercrombie Culture
1:10:01 to 1:10:42
Explore a humorous reflection on the bizarre Abercrombie and Fitch culture of the past.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:01Pink Panther is here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together. and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, built just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com. Welcome back to the...
0:35Welcome back to the basement yard. There she is, the Queen of England. Are you saying wow? Wow, that was a wow. Your face looks a little like a doll. It felt kind of doll-like, to be honest. It felt fake. It felt not real. Is that a new shirt? It's very white. It's so white, right? It is new. White as fuck. I got it yesterday. Really? I love shirts. I love t-shirts. White t-shirts? Like a good white t-shirt. Phenomenal. And this is from, they're not a sponsor anymore. Pair of Thieves. I'll give them a shout out. It's a great shirt. It's great. Great shirt. Great boxers too. Yeah. I'm boxed out on them also.
1:16What does that mean? I'm wearing their boxers. Oh, are you? Want to see them? Sure. Are you giving yourself a wedgie over there? What's going on? No. I'm in an era of life where I'm really into like soft box oh I didn't know bro I thought you were gonna say wedgies come on brother there was someone at our show that was into that remember oh yeah someone at our show was like I'm really I have a wedgie kink I like to give him I like to get him that's crazy I don't know like you're literally saying like you have a kink of someone like scarily ripping your asshole or burganga yeah like you ever think about that like a wedgie could like go in at a burgini I know, but like thongs, like that's a wedgie.
1:58You're wearing a wedgie. Yeah, I never understood thongs. Me neither. I like them. Don't get me wrong. I like them too. No, nothing against them. How do you feel about G-strings versus thongs? I don't think I've ever seen a G-string in the wild. As far as I'm concerned, they're just something that exists. In Brazil? Like not even just Brazil, but like it's like someone says, it's like a unicorn. I think people say the unicorn is not a good. People have G-corns? What am I saying? Do they got G-corns? G-strings. That's tough. Why can't you? I don't know. I said G-corns and that fucked me up. I just, I feel like they're not actual things in the world.
2:31People just like, yeah, they are, but they don't exist. No, they're there. No, no. It's one line across, one line down between your crick. That's got to be like, I get someone made them, but why did anyone wear them? Like, you don't need to wear them, people. I think it's like a way to like wear underwear, but not really wear underwear. No, but they're bathing suits, aren't they? Yeah. I think they're underwear too Those are the ones that look like dental floss They literally look like it's a string covering your asshole It's because a thong The only difference between a thong is like it's got that little triangle Yeah there's like a little bit more There's a little triangle The little triangle's not really doing anything anyway Ladies You don't need to wear them They'll stop making them if you just stop wearing them Period I think that they should wear them I think they look really nice Except Becca you can keep wearing them Sorry too much Jesus.
3:25Sorry. Well, I'm just saying, like, the little triangle at the top of the thong is not really doing anything anyway when you think about it. It just, it seems like it's just a stupid design. Which one? Like, bro, underwear should be built for comfort, not for fucking sexy. I think it is comfortable for them. Really? How? Why? I've asked this before, but I think that they're like, I don't even know what's there. I don't even know what's back there. Because it's not, like, jammed. Brother, it looks, I mean, I get it. It looks jammed. But I guess I don't wear them so I can't sit here and make any claims.
3:55You ever put a thong on? What the hell was that, Ant? You've put one on. No, no, no. I've never put a thong on. I would just to see what the fuss is. What's all the hubba-bub-bub? Hubba-baloo? What is it? Hullabaloo. Hullabaloo? Hullabaloo. Just to see what that's all about. I just feel like it's not going to go well with our lives. Yeah, I wouldn't really be jazzed. And if someone gave me a wedgie wearing that, I'm not kidding. I would fight them. Well, I'm going to have a bloody something. Bro, as an adult, if you give an adult a wedgie, you're crazy. What? No, it just sounded, just the visual picture.
4:27If someone grabbed my thong and ripped it up my ass, I assume there's going to be blood. There will be blood. Daniel Day-Lewis. If we wore a thong, do we have to put it to a side? We're talking about the back. No, the front has like a hammock. What's the front? The front has like something. I mean, you'd be spilling out of the thing, big cock ants. Yeah, there's fucking Big Balls McGee over here. Yeah, you'd have to pick which way you're going to put your fat nuts. Um, we'll be fine. What? Come on. What? You're throwing me under the bus like that. I said we. You'll be fine. I got giant fat nuts too.
5:01I don't. I saw it on what I watched today. I don't. They're regular nuts. I don't. I just, I feel like, like, I don't have big nuts, but they're heavy. So you have normal size, but like overly heavy. They're dense. They're dense nuts. I have dense nuts. So, like, I don't see a thong that I could put them in that it'll support them. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like a hammock. Like, you know when you get in a hammock and you're like, oh, I'm too heavy and the hammock is, like, basically touching the ground? That's what would happen if I wore a thong as a man. Yeah. Probably. I mean, I'd never put one on.
5:39I'd throw one on, though, just to see what it's about. Throw one on and just, like, pumps and then just, like, la, la, la, la. No. I mean, I was, no. You don't think so? Pumps. Pumps. Yeah. I've worn high heels for like a, I did like a drag show years ago. That shit's crazy. The fact that like, unbelievable. I can't believe women wear them all the time. It's tough. I just think that women have been tricked by big clothing, I guess. Big, big, big shoe. Big high heel. Big high heel into thinking that like. This is cool. This is cooler than like comfort. Like a thong is cooler than... Pain is beauty, baby.
6:22Underwear. Pain is beauty. Is it? I don't know. That's what they say. Like, if I was a woman, you're not getting me in a pair of high heels. I think that, like, it makes the leg look like it's a little flexed or something. And maybe that's why. I don't even know the appeal of between... You're thinking of that lamp from that fucking Christmas story movie. I'm thinking of every heel I've ever seen. Okay. I'm not thinking of a lamp. Okay. But there is that lamp. Which is weird. I don't like when people have that in their house. Your lamp is a leg. That is a weird thing, right? Also, why are dudes into fishnets stockings?
6:56What's that about? That's like an old-timey thing. You're like, ooh, she's got fishnets. She's ready for sex. What is this for? What are you talking about? I see it, and I immediately think of Matt and Jeff Hardy. I think the same thing. I swear to God, I see it. People say, oh, fishnets. Ooh, she's a little devious minx. And I'm like, oh, this is someone that's going to hit a twist of fate, swamp tom bomb, poetry in motion. Yeah, I'm thinking this. You know what I mean? When I see a fishnet, I'm like, ah! I'm not thinking like, ooh. Yeah, team extreme, not team blowjob or something. Yeah, exactly.
7:24I don't know where that came from. You know what? Good on Matt and Jeff Hardy, the professional wrestlers, for taking back fishnets from big sexism. And they made it for, like, rock and roll dudes. Yeah, yeah. You know? And those dudes that dress and, like, dance like this. Yep. You know who I'm talking about. I do, I do. You know exactly who I'm talking about. Yeah, they do the Fortnite dances and they wear gas masks. They wear gas masks. Ant's Pants Right And Fortnite dances Yeah Yeah But good for Hey Matt Also hookers Lita To a degree She took back Lita She uh She popularized the thong The thong showing Yeah That was huge The like thong Like going like Over the waist Dude when you're young And you see like Part of the thong On the hip That was basically sex At a certain point In my life Listen I was like That right there So simple Piece of clothing Very thin.
8:18Loved it. Why am I talking like Trump? Little. Very little. Thin piece of clothing. Big horny. But that's what was happening to me, dude. I'm with you there, 100%. It was just. Big horny. Giant horny. It was the implication. It was. It was like, oh, that's underwear. That's underwear. The implication that that is underwear. Like, yeah. Okay. Show me your underwear. Yeah. And then do you remember, like, the fucking people would wear, like, the bra that had, like the top of it was like poking out of their shirt and it was a little like again lita i'm finding out yeah i'm finding out that lita forgive my voice but i'm finding out lita the professional wrestler right was like the standard of like what clothing looked good on a person when we were 13 14 she also wore some like avril lavigne pants so she was like mixing it up and she but she was throwing around her team extreme like yeah yeah yeah she's doing back flips she's doing back moonsaults and lita canranas and shit yeah dude that was a good time that was a good time in my life damn shout out to thongs on hips anyway i'm on hips i mean i was continuing the shout out oh cool but you like thongs but silent love them but you guys you guys you guys you guys went to Catholic school so like if you saw it was it like a sin is that like another layer of it let me explain what the what the what the uniform was in our high school I remember it because I dated a girl from your high school it was slacks the women wore slacks and polo shirts I remember yeah I remember and fucking the the loafer of loafer shoes ever a loafer sometimes you would get uh some girls would like tie the bottom of their polo in like a hair tie so it'd be a little tighter and it would be like yeah there's a curvature of a boob and that was like the best it got they would also hem certain inseams of their pants to tighten up around the leg and you went to school with fucking seamstresses and shit apparently well you could take it to a tailor yeah i mean there's people that would yeah so that was a good move i guess yeah i don't know i remember when girls would do that where they'd take the shirt and they'd like tie it like that and it It would be like, oh, they're taking the slack.
10:31Why, guys? Also something I enjoy, though. Just being efficient with the slack? No, it's not efficient. I just think it looks like, oh, I have a little time. I'm like, I kind of like it. Weird. You know what I kind of like? This is, okay. We're fully committing to the kind of liking things today. That's fine. not not currently but i remember a per a per a time where i was like i saw a girl on a bandana and i was like that's cool like left eye lopez from tlc yes like that and i'm like oh i like the but not in like a she needs a wrench and working on something kind of way like the brat yeah like that like it was like be singers like she had like i think aaliyah had one right i think so yeah but I kind of liked the bandana look.
11:23I was like, oh, that's fire. And she had it like that. That was a big thing in like the late 90s, early 2000s for like the girl groups. Like one of them was like the bad girl and had the bandana. Yeah. And it went back. I think the Cheetah Girls did that. Cheetah Girls, Cheetah Sisters. They had, yeah, watch it. They had the, what's that? The one that's just like, it's a solid. I don't remember. It's like a headband. I think that's what it's called. I think it might be it, yeah. A headband. i'm like hell we recently when we were in phoenix we watched the lizzie mcguire movie yeah all of us that night and then you weren't there don't nod and then uh we threw on some cheetah girls cheetah sisters you know because well i mean such a time in life you know i mean they were they were sisters they stood together yeah we are sister we stand together what is it that's all i know to be honest we come from one big family but we don't look the same our signs are different i knew that you knew all the words i know a lot of them not all of them though i'm still this is week two of me begging joey to watch high school musical yeah there's a whole era of disney movies that you just didn't watch i missed them man and cheetah girls is like the start of it i think i've seen i have seen cheetah girls i remember it was like appointment viewing when Cheetah Girls came on.
12:43What was it? Who was in the Cheetah Girls? It was Raven-Symoné. Yeah. Adriana Byron. Oh, by the way, giant fat crush on Raven-Symoné when I was younger. Oh, hell yeah. Dude, That's So Raven was like the funniest show I ever knew at that time. Oh, I loved Raymond. Raymond. Raymond. Everybody loves Raymond. That's So Raymond. That's So Raymond. Oh, man. That was my Raymond impression. That was... We're just gonna... Yeah, that was horrible. Take it up. All those fucking videos. So it was her. It was Adriana Bailan. I liked her too. There was the white girl Sabrina. Don't remember. She's just white.
13:23Okay. And then Kira or Kiri? Kylie? Kylie. There it is. I have it up. I cheated. You've never... You cheated on the Cheetah Girls? You've never seen Cheetah Girls? No, I've seen them. It was basically 3LW with Raven-Symoné. 3LW. I'm getting really tired on these poking promises, promises.
13:44What a time for music. What a time. What a time. Did you ever see those interviews with the dude from That's a Raven afterward? We're talking about Orlando Brown? Yeah. Bro, hell yeah. That guy was out there, brother. Yeah. He said some things. He kills me, bro. He said some things. Has he? I mean, all the videos that I've seen of him are just hilarious. He's definitely said some stuff. He's said some stuff. But it makes me laugh. but it's but yeah i guess i guess that's the only thing you can do at that point in time yeah who knows um i know speaking of oh of the time when i was watching cheetah girls you best believe that i had some pizza bagels that's a segue damn right i had some pizza bagels and pulled up this picture and it's a plate of pizza bagels beautiful pizza bagels unbelievable pizza bagels non-mexican where did you italian pizza bagels uh where did you find this this was on the internet but uh from what i know this guy dana beers is what uh brought this picture yeah that's first of all i'm gonna say this that's a lot of them that's two packs can we agree yeah That like snack world of like pizza bagels, pizza pockets, incredible.
15:07Like I will ride and die for them. They're so good and suck at the same time. Well, the line between them being great and being awful is so thin. Like Hot Pockets, they're good for what they are. They suck. And pizza bagels are similar. and uh pizza pockets what's this called pizza pockets yeah no no pizza puffs uh pizza rolls pizza rolls that's the one i'm thinking is pizza rolls yeah those are like i feel like i'm not eating i see here's the thing is i can eat i've never figured out a way to cook them perfectly no one knows because you either cook them and then everything comes out and it's just a shell or you undercook them and they're still cold in the middle.
15:54Like there's no, it's a science that I have yet to figure out. I don't think the world has that yet. And I'll be honest with you, I'm going to figure it the fuck out. You're going to keep trying. Well, it's nice that I have kids now because I can buy this stuff and have an excuse to have it in the home. Makes sense. You know, you best believe we have a freezer full of mozzarella sticks right now, baby. Before we get into it, do you eat these raw or do you? Raw. What does that mean? Like cooked, but just as they are, do you put something on it or? Oh, no, I just eat them like this. I do some garlic powder and some sriracha.
16:24Oh, I don't do sriracha, but I've done garlic powder. Yeah, I'm just asking. Do you? It's a pizza. No. You just go. You guys are fucking Michelin star chefs with pizza bagels. It's garlic powder. It's my guy. They're pizza bagels. I know. Take them as they come. No. Yeah. So which one, so which pizza bagel here would you pick first? Like what's the best pizza bagel here? Oh, that's an easy one for me, brother. So wait, are we picking the best or we're picking, like, which one we would eat first? Because those are two different questions. That's right. We could do a couple. I would not take – is it just me eating these or am I got a team of people around me who are sharing?
17:04I could dog that whole plate very easily. Let's say you're eating these by yourself. If I'm eating them by myself, I'm not eating the best one first. Correct. I'll save that for either the middle or near the end. I'll be honest with you. I'm probably getting the worst ones out the way first. I probably will get... See, like, look at number three. What a fucking piece of shit. Yeah. You know what I mean? What a bastard. What a dumb asshole. 23-2. Look at 23. Oh, I got 23. 23 might get fucking skipped like a rock. Yeah. I might take 23 and just throw it right out. Three, here's the thing. Three sucks.
17:41Yeah. But it has a good bite on it. One bite. Because you're not eating that whole thing. But you're taking the bite where that cheese and that sauce is. 100%. Yeah. I might go home and have some pizza bagels tonight, honestly. These are getting me going a little bit. Yeah. Getting you going? You horny over there? You horny over there for them. Different H. Be honest. Are you horny? I feel like just base level usually, yeah. Wait, I don't even, what? Oh, you mean because of the pizza. No, I don't mean that. I mean, what's your baseline that you're kind of horny 24-7? I think so. Is that not everybody?
18:16You're horny right now for no reason. There's always a reason. What's the reason then? What is the one right now? What's the reason right now? There's always a reason. I don't think my baseline is horny. When I get horny, I'm like, yo, I'm horny. But that's not baseline. Correct! I'm kind of with you. I think I am at a level of horn that is slightly elevated. Yeah. 24-7? I don't think it's ever at the line of horny all the time. That's fine. It's like H. this is a game of horse yeah kind of a horse i'm not my baseline is like normal and then sometimes like you know you get in the mood it's like what was that a little spike oh no back down i like every now and then i'll think i'll think of something i'll just be like there's those thoughts but that's what i'm saying like that's not the baseline because something moved your baseline yeah but like the thoughts are always there it's just if i'm allowing them to come to the surface yeah you're staring at me and am well i know pizza bagels no like i'm not horny right now but like Like, give me 20 seconds.
19:18I'll get there. Less for me. But that's my point. My baseline is like not. But there is always the prospect of it could happen at any time. Yeah, like it's a scary game. We're talking pizza bagels. Okay. Why don't we just do this? Let's make it easy. We're all in agreement that three and 23 are fucking, you know, shoot them with a gun. Yeah. What's the best one on the plate? I can give you top three. I'll give you my top three Personally Two, two, two, please Two? Okay Top two for me 12 and 20 Where's 12? 12 Okay That's a big fat bitch 20 Ooh I like her 12 is also on my list I want to say that I know what he's going to say though A lot of coverage I know what he's going to say What?
20:08He's a saucy boy And I think he's going to say He likes something like a 17 A 16 Or a 9 I think he's feeling it Look at him He's horny for the sauce I'm in I think 11 and 12 Are the best ones 11? It's What the hell? No Because I know what 11 is 11 is the cheese Bubbled up under it And there's nothing under And then all the sauce Is on top Look at this Misshapen piece of shit You pick 11 Yeah I'm not saying It wouldn't taste good But bro What are we saying? I also I gotta admit I don't hate 10 I like a little crisp 10's got too much many of the burnt bubbles. You know what I like? How did you say that?
20:49I like 16. I also think that low-key 15 probably tastes mad good. Yeah, 15 is a good-looking one. Absolutely. Oh, my God, dude. Absolutely. Now, here's eight! Eight's damn near perfect. It's not big enough. Look at eight. Joey, why did you scream that? Jesus. Look at eight. I see eight. I just don't know why you screamed it. Because they didn't get that one on a number. There's one here that doesn't even deserve a number. That's rude. I think so my approach with this if I if this is my plate which it is because I'm eating all 20 of those right 24 24 24 and a half well 22 once you take out three and 23 because they're gonna be shot with a gun I'm eating my least favorite first and I'm working my way up to the most delicious really yeah that's how I am with peanut M &M's peanut M &M's I rip the bag open and I look at them all and i sort them out by like quality really yep and i'm just like you're dying first because you're you're a pathetic loser yeah you're getting eaten first because you're a pathetic dumbass okay and then i wait until i get i always leave like the fattiest nuttiest ones for the end you want that big nut oh yeah oh yeah that's crazy you don't do this with like your plates of food either like I'm not kidding Thanksgiving I first of all I will say this as you go through life you find out you have different skills that people that necessarily knew were skills I think I have a skill of putting together a beautiful plate of food okay I eat based off of what I'm most excited to eat you go I segment it wait so let me ask you a question yeah because I was gonna get to this also if you have a full plate of food yes and let's say it is thanksgiving so you got a bunch of different stuff do you eat one thing at a time yes yeah i don't do that yes i do because i get so excited like i'm like oh i'm really excited for the ham i'm gonna leave the ham for last because it motivates me to get there you need motivation i mean but like i i create this beautiful work of art it'd be disrespectful like i love her so much but becca everything on her plate mixes it all together don't like that i'm like listen remember that gun i killed those bagels with right you might be next i i don't so what she'll just like splash them on each other yeah i don't mind that once you start eating it gets a little messy like i will eat some peas with my like uh peas on thanksgiving brother i don't know i'm just giving an example of like mashed potatoes like i'll kind of mix that into other shit and eat some mashed potatoes with another thing you know what i'm saying it depends it needs to be the right thing like i every now and then i'll take a little bit of turkey gravy and mashed potatoes and i'll throw them in yeah exactly also mashed potatoes i like to make a mountain and then i make a like a reserve like a volcano i picked a fucking gravy in there of course you do mix it all up i'm really good at making mashed potatoes keith when he eats rice he does this thing that i tried once and i'm like this is pretty good he flattens his rice that's what i used to do really flatten the rice and he eats the rice flattened i'm like oh i well my family you've you hate how my family used to eat rice we'd flatten the rice on the plate thin layer of mayo on top of it with sliced bananas oh it's delicious it is so good it's an insane one it is so damn good um what were you just talking about oh so you don't so you won't eat things like no sometimes i'll have a bite of mashed potatoes and then i'll go for the i mean i mean i'll i'll i'll like taste it but like i I really like to like...
24:21That's eating, brother. No, no, no. But I won't eat the full, like a lot of it. I'll just be like, all right, okay. I got to look forward for that. That's third. So if you have steak, let's say like veggies and mashed potatoes on the side, do you eat like the veggies first fully and the mashed potatoes first fully? Really? You see, we go to dinner. You don't see how I eat? I'm focused on me, brother. I mean... I'm not focused on... Open your eyes though, bitch. You want me to watch you eat? Like, oh, look at Frank. He's there. He's almost at the steak now. I'm not saying watch me eat, But, I mean, once you go to enough dinners with people, you see that they have different eating habits.
24:54I see your eating habits. What's my eating habit? You take a little bit of everything all the time. I told you that just now. No, I noticed it, bitch. Yeah, I'm sure you did. We're yelling at each other. That's fine. What about you, dude? You mix? I start separated, and then I mix them together. You like a bread. Just like the world. Just like the world. You like to bring them together. So, like, a piece of steak, I'll dip in the mashed potatoes, you know? Oh! Steak in the mash. You are a dirty little gutter slut. Steak in the mash. I mean, if I put a piece of steak in my mouth and eat it and then the mash tail is saying, that's like an ATM.
25:26Steak, my friend. Can't be like that. My friend. Steak deserves its own time in the mouth. Steak gets dedicated time in Frankie's mouth. You know how I feel about my steak. I think it's okay. Ah, no, not steak, though. Okay, I picked a bad example. But yes, I mixed them. Turkey, I'll allow it. A chicken, too. why did i just sound like an old woman who lives in a shoe yeah what you can do yeah i mix everything in my mouth so all right so here's my approach with this plate the ones that are getting shot in the back of the head are dying yeah then i'm eating my least favorite working it up to my favorite leaving 12 20 17 18 like those are good quality ones towards the end okay 18's good 18, but you have to bite it sideways.
26:16It depends where you bite. Because one side's all cheese, one side's all sauce. If you get it right in the middle. So, also, let me ask you this. So, something like three shows up on your plate, right? I don't throw it away, but I do eat it like an oyster. Like, I'm like, and I just take the top off. Really? Yeah, and I leave the bread, and I'm like, oh, this is fucking disgusting. Here's the thing. I fully ride for bagel bites. I fully ride for pizza pockets, pizza rolls. Yeah. It is a science to figure out when to eat these things so they don't ruin your mouth. Because I'm not kidding. The worst I've ever burnt my mouth eating something has been on a pizza bagel when I was drunk one night.
26:53Mine was pizza rolls. And like, I mean like scarily bad, my mouth. Pizza rolls, I do this thing where I bite the end. And then I squeeze them just to feel the heat. Yeah, no, that's smart. Yeah, because I can't, you know, one time I just went in there. You can't just go into a bunch of pizza rolls and just eat them like that. That's crazy. That's what I imagine that dude Bevo does. yeah that guy fucking swallows crazy if you pinch the pizza roll sideways it kind of opens up like an envelope and then the air comes out that's really smart that's really good that's how I used to be with Hot Pockets because again Hot Pockets again I mean in the name they're telling you those are pockets of hot dude they're hot as hot I it's getting to that time of the year where I need to have Hot Pockets because I haven't had them and reminded myself how bad they are for me yep but I bite and then I squeeze all the hot out just so I can try to enjoy it.
27:49Not how temperature works, unfortunately, but I get where your head's at. Yeah, no, I know. I always get burnt. Yeah. And then it goes in like a radioactive jacket. I like the jacket. Hold on. Before we touch on this, because I do want to talk about Hot Pockets, we do have some sponsors for today. And the first one is Skims, okay? Skims, they make underwear for, you guessed it, men and women. it started off as just women but now they have men and they have very comfortable boxers I'm telling you right now I have a pair that's like nude nude colored and it's also like a black pair they are so comfortable they are the right amount of elasticity ish whatever that word is elastic I think is what I'm going for so it's not too tight and it's breathable so it keeps you nice and they're high quality.
28:39They're awesome. So for anyone out there that's in the market for some underwear, some other cool stuff over at Skims, definitely go check it out. Shop Skims, men's at skims.com. Let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey, then select our show, the basement yard from the drop-down menu that follows. So, yeah, go to skims.com. Get yourself some underwear and also get anyone an underwear. You know what I'm saying? From Skims. But it's high-quality stuff, so go check that out. We also have prize picks. Okay, prize picks is a lot of fun. NFL is here, so it's going to make your Sundays that much more fun.
29:15It's the only app that offers stacks, meaning you can pick the same player up to three times in the same lineup. If you want to pick more on Josh Allen's pass yards, rush yards, and touchdowns, now you can pick all of them in the same lineup only on prize picks. Okay, so if you think that Josh Allen's going to have a fantastic day, then you can pick more on every single one of those things. And just to explain how PrizePix works, all you have to do is pick, you know, more or less than the projection that they create. So Josh Allen, is he going to have more or less than one and a half touchdowns thrown?
29:46You know, and that's all you pick. And you choose a couple of players like that, or you can do multiple things like they just said, and you can win a bunch of money. So yeah, download the PrizePix app today and use the code BASEMENT to get$50 in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup, okay? That is the code BASEMENT, and you will get$50 in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup prize picks. So go check it out. But, yeah, like I said, it's a lot of fun. It's more or less very simple. It has all the sports on there, not just NFL. It has NBA or hockey or whatever. Whenever the season of that sport is, they got it on prize picks.
30:24So go check it out. But, yeah, download the app. Code is BASEMENT. $50 in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup. And you know what, folks? If you like more of this deep, raspy voice, you know where you can find it? Nowhere. Honestly, it's just because I'm a little into the weather. I was trying to segue into Patreon, but here we are. Patreon. I tell you guys about it every single week. It's the best way to directly support us and support what we're doing here. So go to patreon.com slash the basement yard and sign up today. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance with that first tier.
30:57And you get that also with your second tier, but your second tier, you also get exclusive episodes every single Friday. You guys are consistently keeping us at the top of the leaderboards with Patreon in the world. Thank you so much. Your love, your support, your passion never goes unnoticed. And we want to thank you. And for those of you guys that don't know about it, because you never know, there might be a first time listener now. You can go check it out. And if you want to sign up, why don't you do it on the web browser? If you use the apps, they take a little bit of extra money for you from you.
31:24Excuse me. So save yourself some money. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard on a web browser. Sign up. Help us. Love you. We'll make you laugh. You make us happy. And we'll have a big kumbaya session. We'll hug and we'll talk about pizza bagels, okay? You never know. Maybe we will. We probably won't. But if you are coming to any of the future Basement Yard live shows, first of all, there might be some tickets still available. We're going to be in Florida in a couple weeks. We're going to then be in D.C. I don't know what's available in D.C., but go to thebasementyard.com on the live shows portion of the website.
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31:58check out if there are any tickets available we'd love to have you these shows have been so fun so interactive incredible memories from each and every single one so we want you to be a part of it so if there are tickets available and you want to come go buy them and if you are coming to any of the shows uh already go to the basement yard.com slash submit there's a large portion of the show where we like it to be interactive we talk to you about you with you and we've gotten some incredible crazy stories and really really really funny segments and and parts of the show that have come out of it.
32:28So if you go to thebasementair.com slash submit, you let us know what show you're coming to and you submit a prompt, a response to a prompt actually is what I should say. Maybe we'll pick it. Maybe we'll talk to you or you could be a little shy and we won't talk about you. Like there was someone at one of our shows that had a wedgie kink. It was crazy, but go check it out. Thebasementair.com slash submit. We love you. We appreciate you. And what am I forgetting? Oh, it's Halloween merch. That's right. There is Halloween merch. If you want to go check it out, go to shop.santagatostudios.com. It's spooky season.
33:06So we got spooky merch. I love it so much. Oh, there he goes, baby. Oh, look at this. You guys get the first look right here. Boom. This is the back. You rocketed that at me. Jesus Christ. It says the base yard with a little pumpkin on it. And on the back, that's me and Frank. Headless, but also have a head. A headless, but – and also you look just disgusted. I look cool. I have a hat on? Actually – Mine is a hat. You do have a hat on. Yay. I look like a better headless head than you. Why is everything a competition? It has to be. So go check it out. Shop.SanagatoStudios.com for the spooky fan of the basement yard in you.
33:50Go check it out. We love you. All right. Oh, we were talking about hot pockets. Okay. I like the radioactive sleeve that it has on a hot pocket. And I like dumping it out on my plate. Oh, like just like it's like a dead fish that you're just like, here, you're living on this plate before I devour you. Yeah, a dead fish is like an interesting, I wouldn't have said that. I got to have hot pockets. It's time. It's time. I haven't had one in a very long time. There's only two acceptable Hot Pockets that you can have. The pizza ones and the bacon, egg, and cheese ones. The people that get, like, ham.
34:29The bacon, egg, and cheese. I wouldn't dream of eating that. Why? No. The people that get, like, ham and cheese Hot Pockets. Don't even make them. You're eating eggs. Microwaved. So? No. Oh, you draw the line at that, but you'll have. I do regular pizza and then pepperoni pizza. That's all. Oh, the meatball? shut up i didn't even know that was a thing they have like a meatball one what's in it meatball like meatball parm it's like little it's basically meatball parm in a hot pocket actually doesn't sound that bad uh but it's just not right there's only the only acceptable one it's not right it's just not right the pizza pepper the pepperoni pizza one is oh because then you pull out a slice of pepperoni and it's just hotter than the sun it is and it is gonna get you yeah what's that let's let's do some hot pockets in here that would be nice hot pockets why don't they want to work with us what are we gonna do we'll help bring hot pockets back no one is as passionate about food as me i love food what i was gonna go i have an idea i think if we did a basement yard hot pocket collab uh-huh and it could be like the basement pockets that sounds like your butt that sounds like an asshole yeah come eat our basement pockets you'll love the taste that'd be maybe a maybe not a good marketing i think that'd be incredible and there's like hot dogs in them hot dogs and sauerkraut frank that's disgusting what you're gonna fill a hot pocket with hot dogs and sauerkraut and nothing else is gross okay okay okay okay but something hot dogs and something chicken parm i would like that listen hot pockets i'm sure they thought of let it come talk to us about our basement pockets okay yeah i think this could be a really cool collab our backdoor chocolate pocket yeah well see what about dessert pockets well the fact they haven't gotten into dessert pockets is crazy this is a missed opportunity put some nutella hot pockets just because it's hot doesn't mean it can't be sweet Right.
36:41Like a Nutella, a banana, strawberry, Nutella Hot Pocket. Banana, strawberry, what are you, making a smoothie in the pocket? That's what a popular dessert is. What? Nutella. Oh. And slices of banana and strawberry. Got it, got it. I was thinking like a mix. No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, Hot Pockets. First of all, we came up with this idea, so if you take our basement pockets, you're in trouble. Okay? Leave our basement pocket alone. Or s'mores Hot Pocket. See. And it could be a cinnamon-dusted pocket. Frank, now you're fucking speaking my language. Why don't you start saying cinnamon-dusted shit?
37:12Now I'm getting fucking... Now my baseline has been raised to horny. Now you're horny. Yeah. Hot pocket, sweet treats, cinnamon roll, and apple cinnamon. Cinnamon roll is a really good one, too. See, cinnamon. Can I ask you something? Why did you have to hurt us? Why did you have to tear us down? Let us think that we had special basement pockets. Wait, hold on. We should get a cinnamon bun hot pocket in here. Okay. I can do that. Can we do a Hot Pocket taste test to really put it? Get every pocket. Get every. Order two of every fucking pocket that exists. Ant. Three. Three. Three of every pocket.
37:49Oh, three of every pocket. That's two packages because they come two in a package. You just hit them with a Richard Nixon. Yeah. Look at that. You know, it's a very political episode. Ant. Yes, sir. How many Hot Pockets do you think there are? Oh, we got to eat the veggie one. I'll do it for science. Right. And our next Patreon episode, go buy every flavor of Hot Pocket you can find. On this budget? Yeah. Okay. You spend$15 fucking hundred bucks on puppets. Yeah. There's a lot. I'm scrolling. There's a lot of Hot Pocket. I mean, it's not all of what you can find at the store, though. No, I just go to the Hot Pocket website and order all of them.
38:29How many are there? Hot Pocket does direct to consumer. You're D to C, baby. So there's 12 per page. There's more than four pages. 48. Clearly no. All right, we'll have to. We'll get them all. Well, read us the flavors. We're not getting 400 Hot Pockets. Listen, my guy. It's 48. Read us the flavors. I'm going to give you a thumbs up if we're going to do that one. High protein, Barbaca style beef. Barbacoa, you white fucking devil. Barbaca. It's like a Star Wars guy. Chewbacca and Barbacca. I see the O now. The glasses. I need a new prescription. There's high-protein Chipotle chicken. Wow. I would do that.
39:15Literally dipped into the world. Sausage, egg, and cheese. Okay. Ranch lover's pepperoni. I don't know about that there, Bab. Yeah. Steak and cheddar crispy crust. Oh. Is the whole thing crispy? I don't know. Philly cheesesteak. There's a lot. anything cool anything like weird barbaca barbaca yeah um no they're pretty normal barbecue recipe oh what is barbecue recipe i think it's just beef oh and then there's the pizzas yeah those are those are the those are the cream of the crop hitters um no they're all what you would expect all right listen okay i'm not kidding we don't need 48 we don't need 48 boxes 48 flavors but we do need at least 20.
40:05Hot habanero pepperoni and sausage. That sounds great. That'll fucking ruin your day though. Yeah. Not only will the temperature be hot but the spice will be hot as well. I think let's put this together. You and I will talk on the back end. Bro 10 each I think is totally fine. But we need to get flavors like good like different flavors. We can't just get you need to go to a grocery store. You need to go to a grocery store. I'll do some research. We'll do some research. We'll talk. We'll talk in the back then. Damn, we're doing all this free plugs for fucking Hot Pockets. But what I was thinking is that maybe for a video, we do a power hour of pizza rolls.
40:42Just eat 60 rolls? Every minute you eat a pizza roll, see if you can do it. That would be the easiest thing I've ever done ever. You think you'd eat 60 pizza rolls? How hard is that? I think I could. Maybe not bagel bites, but pizza rolls? How many, I think. I'll give them 35. Are you outside of your mind? Yo, honestly, you might be. I could eat 400 of those things. I could probably...
41:06No!
41:11I get so frustrated lately. I can't speak on this show. It's so annoying. That was a good one. That was really good. I just think... Listen. Yeah. We single-handedly brought back Pop-Tarts. We can agree on that, right? we can agree i mean someone gave me a spider-man box a pop-tart box that was nuts that was awesome yeah that was crazy that was really cool i'm just saying i think if hot pockets is looking to get back into the world a little bit more why not allow us to help them and they help us they provide us with fresh what are you trying to get out of their hot pockets and we're the basement yard bitch i'm that's not what i mean i mean like it's just a hot pocket like it's a popular thing it is who who you're trying to squeeze a couple dollars a couple bucks you know a couple bucks listen christmas is right around the corner you know what's that mean it was like a christmas was sponsored by hot pockets pumpkin spiced hot pocket that sounds disgusting pumpkin spiced latte pocket.
42:23I don't know how that would work. I don't know either. Just liquid in a pocket. I don't know. I think they could do like a pumpkin spice cinnamon roll. Bro, fucking cinnamon roll hot pocket? I'm fucking dogging that, bitch. I think there's so many options. That shit's got to be 450 calories. Each, can you look up what a serve, what's the serving size? What's the serving size and what's the caloric intake? And the sodium. Of what, the sodium's going to be high. The sodium's going to be up there, brother. That's shelf life. Okay. They vary per, but the pepperoni pizza is from 310 to 360 calories.
43:00Yeah. Per duo or per uno? What's duo? They come in singles. It's per uno. No, it's one serving is one pocket. Yes, one serving is one pocket. Okay. Okay. I have the back of the box here. Okay. How much sodium is in a pocket? Serving size is one sandwich. That's what they call it. So how much sodium is in that? 720 milligrams. That's 31 % of your daily intake. That's not as high as I thought it would be. That's a lot, bro. Of course it's a lot. You're having two-thirds of your sodium intake from two hot pockets. Because be fucking honest, you're eating both of them. You're not eating one. Why are you saying both?
43:41They come in singles. No, the box, there come two in a box. Oh. This box holds five, so it varies. I thought you were talking about, like, they come in bags. I know, they come in individually wrapped pockets. I've never eaten two hot pockets. Oh, that was the norm, baby. Two? Yeah. No, I ate one. What? Yeah. We've acknowledged that your eating habits are stranger than mine. Stranger? You're eating both out of the box. Yeah. How is that not the strange one? I'm eating the serving. Well, I'm just going to eat only one hot pocket? What hunger is that craving? What craving is that satisfying? Well, it's all about the hunger that you let yourself get to before you choose to eat a hot pot.
44:22I'm hungry always. All the time for every food. Every, always, everything. So right now you're hungry for cotton candy? I could eat something always. Yeah. Like, it is a problem. I think I have. That, like, I am always down to eat. Yeah. DTE, baby. Yeah, down to eat. Always down to eat. Richard Nixon is back. Yeah. They also pretty much all have 10 grams of protein per That's not bad That's gains baby That's not bad That is pretty good That's pretty good That's more than like What does the high protein barbaca one have? That's a great question That one I'd have to look up specifically I don't know how to spell it Give me a second Barbacoa Barbaca High protein barbaca beef 20 grams Holy shit dude That's like an actual, that's like a protein shake that I have.
45:16Dude, this whole like, have you seen the like, the world is just going toward like putting protein in everything now? There's like protein sodas that are like 30 grams of protein and it's like a can of soda. I wouldn't be able to do that. I mean, what is it? I don't know. I don't know. They somehow put whey in there. I don't know. Like what is going on? I mean it's just like I have Olipops Because they're high in fiber There's 9 grams of fiber in there And if I poured one out In a glass once And it just looks like You're gonna shit your pants dude You're supposed to have A lot of fiber Isn't like 8 grams The daily intake?
45:54No I think it's like Everyone's under I think it's You're supposed to have like 18 or something 18 grams? How much fiber Are you supposed to have each day? Oh Like apparently That's like an issue With a lot of people nowadays Is that they don't get enough fiber In their diets so here take it in soda there's three grams of sugar in it and oh no no i love them we have them all the time they're incredible yeah like 25 to 38 grams right so that's a lot of fiber listen soda is having its time in the fucking sun right now really is and i am very happy for soda i also I know I'm super late and I have no idea why or whatever.
46:36I had no idea that diet soda was zero calories. Had no clue. I don't trust diet soda. I don't know what it is. As far as I'm concerned, it is like from another planet. I think it's a great alternative to soda. But like Olipop, there's another big brand that I can't. It's on the tip of my - Poppy. Poppy. Bro, unbelievable. the poppy orange soda is so fucking good i'm faithful there's all these like big like there's like a lot of like and i'm sure with enough time their stuff will come out that maybe they are not as healthy as they are claiming but like uh half day remember those iced teas that i show you they make like probiotic iced teas and shit like that like drinks are having a time drinks are coming back yeah they are probiotic stuff scares me it's i mean why because i was that shit up aren't you drinking like little things it's bacteria yeah yeah i mean but it's good bacteria kombucha i know but they're entering me you know oh now now now you're concerned about that now you're gay oh wait what you're letting these little microorganisms munch on your belly yeah you're eating like little bugs kind of yeah you're damn right you are i mean the bugs are everywhere bro why do i say it like that bro bro yeah they're everywhere i guess uh what's what's germs what's you know maybe if I close my eyes no no no it's not it's just just get over the fact that you're drinking bacteria you like yogurt not really what yogurt that's active bacteria yeah it's lactobacillus bitch see can't get science that's like that was in harry potter hell yeah I just fucking bacillus your shit damn I just think like brands right now are having a big moment in the son allow us to be along with it hot pocket let us let us let us be along for the ride hot pockets i just want to eat this cinnamon roll one i just i want to i want to enjoy a hot pocket for the 30 seconds that i'll probably enjoy it yeah we're gonna get some hot pockets in here for sure but we also have to get to these sponsors anymore sponsors well there's more sponsors guys listen if you uh are gonna want to afford all these hot pockets then you're gonna to need to use Rocket Money because Rocket Money is an all-in-one personal finance app that is focused on putting the money back in your pocket.
48:51Okay, they're going to help you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions. That may be something you signed up for in the past or a free trial that lasted a week and then after that they started charging you every month and you didn't really know. Or maybe you can go on Rocket Money and you plug in your information and you realize, huh, I've been paying for this and I haven't used it in months. Maybe it's time to cancel that. Maybe I'll keep that money every single month. And at the end of the year, you have accumulated a couple hundred bucks just from canceling that one thing. That's what Rocket Money is there for.
49:14They also have budgeting tools to help you set a budget, be more financially responsible so that you can start growing your savings. And another feature that they have is something where you can upload pictures of your bill. And if they can help you lower it, they will do so. So it is a very helpful tool to help put the money back in your pocket, help you grow your savings. So go check them out, Rocket Money. They have 5 million members that have saved a total of$500 million in cancel subscriptions, with members saving up to$740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features, okay? So cancel your wanted subscriptions and reach your final close faster with Rocket Money.
49:55Download the Rocket Money app and enter the show, The Basement Yard, in the survey, so they know that we sent you, okay? So go download that Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about it from the basement boys. and lastly here we have better help this show is sponsored by better help better help is online therapy if you want to get into therapy you can do so at better help and they're going to make you know that onboarding very seamless you can start talking to a therapist in just under 48 hours so there's a quick turnaround there also october 10th it's world mental health day okay just remind people uh mental health is very important and i think that you know, everyone can benefit from therapy in their own way.
50:37Even if you feel like you don't have anything that is very traumatic or, you know, something like that, I think that therapy can still help you in a number of other ways as well. So go check out BetterHelp. You know, they will get you hooked up with, you know, they have over 30 ,000 therapists. It's the world's largest online therapy platform and have served over 5 million people globally. So our listeners will get 10 % off of their first month at betterhelp.com slash basement yard. So go to betterhelp.com slash basement yard to get started on your therapy journey and to earn that 10 % off. Okay.
51:13So betterhelp.com slash basement yard. There you go, folks. Um, but anyway, speaking of food and whatever, blah, blah, blah. Uh, there was also a story that came out that Van Llewen made a sunscreen flavor. Yeah. I saw that. They partnered with, uh, uh, Carnival Cruise Lines to make a sunscreen flavored ice cream. Can't imagine that tastes good. You've eaten good sunscreen? I've smelt it and been like, it can't taste that bad. I don't feel that way. Really? No. I love the smell of like sunscreen. That I will say. So like, I guess it makes sense that it would taste good too, right? I mean, if you like the smell, then maybe.
51:57What's something you love the smell of that you think wouldn't taste good? Soap. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. Now that I said it, it sounds stupid. Yeah, no, no, no. Febreze. That's tough because I don't even know. You know what looks mad good? Windex. Oh, Windex looks tasty. Yeah, don't drink it. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah. Don't make sure we say that. Of course. You know, I mean, yeah, all these things that they look delicious, but they wouldn't, they would kill you. Like, I get why kids were eating Tide Pods. They look good. They look like Gushers. Yeah. They look like a really sick Gusher.
52:35Yeah, that's true. But don't do it. Don't do it. Don't eat it. Don't eat it. Kids ended up in the hospital. Would you try this? They've made like weird ones. Didn't they make a mustard one, Van Leeuwen? Van Leeuwen hasn't really let me down. Every time I've ever had it, it's been good. I don't think I've ever had a Van Leeuwen ice cream. Really? Ever. They make a honeycomb one? That's fucking... I'm into it, though. I'm not against. I'm like a little bee. I'm like a little bee, bro. The honeycomb one I'm like oh my god You're like a little bee Buzzing around Yeah Buzzing in there Yo give me that honeycomb shit bitch I went in there They had the nerve to ask me It was like one scoop or two scoops Went in there You think I'm a bitch or something They have stores Yeah bro They got mad stores Where Everywhere I walked into one And I was like Can I get the honeycomb She's like one or two scoops I almost fucking slapped her hair off I was like two Double You tried to clean that up But you just committed To slapping her hair off Yeah What did you think I was trying to say I don't know I just didn't know Where you were going I didn't slap anyone.
53:30We know that. The only thing I got slapped was that ice cream on the back of your throat. You could say that again. There's little pieces of honeycomb in it. And I was like, oh, my God. I do love honeycomb. Yeah. Now that I'm thinking about it. And the cereal honeycombs. Yeah, I think they made like a mac and cheese one. I think they made a mustard one. They have also a pizza one. Pizza ice cream? Yeah. I don't know if I like it. No, no, no, no, no, no. They have one that's just called Planet Earth. That's weird. What is that? Tastes like dirt? I don't know. Yeah, what would that taste like? Dirt?
54:05Dirt and grass? Yeah. Dude, hear me out. A grass-flavored ice cream? I wouldn't not, like, freshly cut grass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is going to sound weird, but I hope that you're with me here. But imagine they made a flavor that was like wind. No. Sorry, buddy. Move on. maybe like maybe like you know when you get a good wind summer rain like you know when it's like hot as shit out like rain on concrete rain on concrete i don't mind that i would i would go nuts for that yeah i don't mind that there is also and then there's just bourbon cherry Oh, hot honey
54:54I can definitely Here's a good one, here's a good flavor for an ice cream A barbershop Fuck you You never walk into a barbershop like that smell? No? No way dude, I'm sorry You both immediately went on your phones, are you kidding me? I'm sorry A barbershop, but you gotta That means you have to have a little bit of hair in it I don't need hair I'm saying the smell of a barbershop you walk in imagine you could take that and make it an ice cream i know one i know one if it was an ice cream but it was flavored of old leathery book yeah an old book old i'm ascending to space
55:35sorry oh i got i got another one how about uh an ice cream that's like an exploded firework I do love that And also like the feeling of the concussive blast So like if they can make it So like there's a feeling of a firecracker In my ice cream Like pop rocks? No, like an explosion Idiot Duh, that's what I meant I think an explosion, you ever go like You know when the fireworks are over and then the winds come in So like you get a smell of that I do like that, yeah yeah yeah What about this, this is a real simple one Coins! What about coins? I wrote pennies. I'm more of a nickel girl.
56:25You know, like a nickel flavored ice cream? You can't scare me like that, dude. You know what you did, right? You know what you did. Coins! I think, now, this might, this, we will all agree on this. Sure. Trix yogurt flavored ice cream. Oh, yeah. You remember those Trix yogurts? I mean, that basically was ice cream. I know, I know. You remember those Trix yogurts? Yeah. And you opened it up and you saw that dumbass rabbit. Yeah. And you just wanted us to be like, not here, rabbit. Yeah. Go back to your rabbit hole, rabbit. Starting to get less relatable. I wrote down like whatever an Oscar tastes like.
57:01An Oscar? An Oscar? Like success? Success flavored ice cream? Yeah. I'd see that. Tennis balls. Tennis ball ice cream. Tennis ball ice cream. Dude, the feeling of cracking open a thing at tennis balls. They know what they're doing making that like a fucking tuna can. You know who should start making ice cream? Rolex. Let Rolex make an ice cream. And they're just like, what is it? And they're just like, it's Rolex ice cream, baby. You don't even know. If you can't, we're all out of flavors. We don't know. We don't have the ice cream here. We don't have the ice cream that you actually want. You'll be on a wait list for four years.
57:35What about, oh, I don't know. I don't know how you guys are going to feel about this. Gasoline ice cream? I don't hate it. I don't hate it. It can't taste like gasoline. It could smell like it. It smells like gas. There's gas. There's fire. Or is it like gas, though? You know, like gas, gas. Okay. Weed ice cream. I'm shocked that that's probably a thing, right? Yeah, probably. It probably is a thing already? Yeah, probably. I would imagine that someone has made weed ice cream. I got, what about marbles? Marble ice cream? I don't hate that. You know, because like you ever see a bowl of marbles, you're like, I want to put that in my mouth.
58:13But that's just Dippin' Dots. That's true. Oh, but more glassy. Any more glass? You guys might not follow me here. And it doesn't make sense. I like this. But if it was ice cream and it was flavored after cow udders. Because here's the thing. I don't know if they taste good, but they look like they would taste great. You want to wrap your lips around an udder? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. I think I'm in. Yes. Yeah, I think I'm in. Got them. We got them. Just like they're beautiful, fat, and pink. Speaking of pink, rosé? Rosé ice cream. Bubbly ice cream? That's got to exist already. Bubbly.
58:59That's got to exist already? Probably, yeah. Ooh, Guinness ice cream. I think that definitely exists. Yeah, that probably exists. That probably exists. I'm in on that. What about like the white foam the ocean makes when it hits the sand? That's disgusting! I think that's urine. Oh, is it? It's not urine, it's like sea foam and it's disgusting. But it looks tasty. No, you're a weirdo for liking that. Ew! Doesn't it look tasty? Ew! You're weird. Ew! Loser! Double middle fingers. Middle fingers are back. Hot pockets of middle fingers, baby. I'm trying to think of something else. I thought it looked tasty.
59:35I got more here. You know what I think is a good flavor, but I don't know what it would taste like, but if something was called this, then I'd be like, that probably tastes really good. Comfy couch. I'm with you on that one. I'm with you on that one. You know what I want? You know what I want? The last day of school before Christmas break smell. You remember that? You're trying to embody a feeling now. It's not even a smell anymore. Yeah, duh. Okay. Yeah. I thought we were talking about ice cream. Yeah. Oh, but what would it taste like? It would taste like a little bit of Coca-Cola and some stale pretzels and a fourth of a sliver of pizza.
1:00:12And then just cookies that your teacher made that are kind of burnt. But she made them so you have to eat them because you feel bad. And then the little plastic baggies that the one kid's parent from the class that clearly went overboard made. That has a Christmas pencil eraser in there and something like that.
1:00:33Eraser? Eraser? ice cream. Yes. I wrote that down, damn it. Did you? Yeah, I did. Eraser. Yeah. That whole thing you did? Put the eraser in there. The eraser. Scholastic Book Fair ice cream. Scholastic Book Fair ice cream, yeah. It's made with pieces of the magazine. You remember the Scholastic Book Fair fucking catalog that you would get that was like that tissue paper? They ripped that up and they put it in there. And you could probably be like, oh, that's a Goosebumps. Stay with me. Maybe this is a little crazy. Ice cream flavored ice cream. And it's just more. It's just more of the flavor.
1:01:12Like it's so concentrated ice cream. Pizza bagel ice cream. Didn't you say that exists? Yeah. A little lemonade. No, no, no. But you put a scoop of it on a bagel. And it's a pizza bagel. Pizza ice cream bagel. Pizza pagel. I'm delirious and basically high. because of all these cough drops. What about potpourri? No, no. I don't like it. It reminds me of like grandmothers. No, no, no. Grandma ice cream? No. What about if you could... Soufflecki! Yeah. Soufflecki ice cream. Soufflecki. Gyro. Gyro. You know, you gotta be gyro meat stick. Yeah, baby. Yeah. With like the barbecue and the lemon and the pepper and they put a big ass piece of fresh Italian bread on the end of it.
1:02:00I wrote another one, I don't know if I should say it. Say it. I wrote your mother.
1:02:15I wouldn't laugh at that if I was you. Are you talking about his mother? General. General. Everyone's mother.
1:02:27That's crazy. I want to say he left. That's your mother too. I want to say he laughed I saw it I didn't laugh Did you not see the look of bewilderment on both of our faces I was looking for something to throw at you Yeah that's what I was doing Because guess your mother Is a blanket statement So that's my mother that's his mother Technically it could be your mother My mother too technically Hey man Sometimes you take risks
1:02:56What about Diaper No No, no, absolutely not. No, I'm not into that either. I just think like, I kind of don't hate the idea of the sunscreen. Because like, be honest, like you smell sunscreen and you like it. So like if they can make it taste like not chemically, I'm in. That's the whole thing. But no, it can smell a certain way, but taste a different way. Yeah. You know, Axe, Kilo Axe body spray. you love axe i don't take it easy you do when i was 14 i loved it oh my god you loved it i remember they had a one it was a brown one there was kilo there was the brown one i think it was called like sensations sensations what i gotta look up the axe body spray i had sensations you did you i did Axe body spray scents.
1:03:54A 12-pack. You can get a 12-pack. Who would need that much axe body spray? Someone that really likes them. So there's Anarchy for Him. Stop. That's the name of one of the scents? What are you wearing? Anarchy. For Him. Africa. Africa? Yep. Alaska. What? Yeah. Apollo. Ooh. Black Knight. Black Knight. And Black. Black Knight, Apollo, Africa. There's a trend. Musk. Musk? Yeah. Wild. Wild. Marine. That's got to be a green. Leather and cookies. What? Why those two things together? Dark temptation. There it is. Dark temptation. Okay. Did I say cream sensations or something like that? You just said sensations, I think.
1:04:49All right, whatever. Excite. Excite? Gold Ooh Gold Temptation Oh The other gold is just gold This one will tempt you Icebreaker and Ice Chill Where's the old ones?
1:05:072004 Axe Body Spray Wasn't there one that was just chocolate? Probably I feel like I remember that I might have had that one Listerine Ice Cream Listerine? Yeah. No, dude. Come on. Grow up. What do you... Shut down that one out of all the ones we said? Uh, yeah. Here we're talking. All right? You ready? These are the 2004 cents for Axe Bodies. Oh, my God. It's going to be insane. Shock. Shock. Yeah. Instinct. I'm just glad it was an incest. Kilo, which was my favorite. Kilo? Kilo. Why? That was the best one. Vice.
1:05:55clicks c-l-i-x clicks yeah essence of course essential touch touch and phoenix these who are naming these the horniest people in the world on the planet dude it's crazy that's your base level i thought the names were cool yeah you'd be into it if podcasting and comedy and this stuff doesn't work out, I think I have a future in naming Axe Body Sprays. I also do, too. I think that there's a chance that I could be good at it. It's your dream job. Do they still sell Axe Body Spray? You know they do. I don't know. You just said they sold 12 packs. Oh, yeah, that's right. That should cover you your entire life.
1:06:37I want to get a vintage bottle of Axe Body Spray. Vintage. Vintage. I don't know if you would describe that as vintage. I mean, why not? It's a 21, 22-year-old bottle. Do you think it still smells like Kilo? It ages like wine, baby. It ages like wine. You think it still smells like kilo? Whatever that smells like. Oh, man. Well, there you have it, folks. No. Go ahead. How was your day? You see? See what? That's the beginning of the show. No, it could be an end. What do you got going on tonight? Tonight? Yeah. Seahawks, Cardinals. You're giving away when we're recording this. Yeah. Yeah. Who do you think?
1:07:19Seahawks. Yeah, that's an easy one. You throwing a couple bucks on it? I haven't. Good for you. How's your fantasy team doing? One and two. Yeah, not great. Yours? We're doing small talk. I don't do fantasy. Why not? Why not do small talk? I don't like it. You? Do I like small talk? Yeah. I like medium talk. Give us an example of a medium talk. like so how's the weather small talk yeah like when's the last time you got caught in the rain medium talk
1:08:02why is that funny i don't know not what i was expecting i'm picturing like a situation where you would ask someone out of the blue like when's the last time you got caught in the rain like imagine like meeting someone for the first time i don't know third question in I don't think that's funny at all Oh sorry guys Everyone What do you think the sun tastes like? Kilo From Acts No Phoenix Well obviously Or Touch Do you think you could Do you think if I sprayed You could identify the smell? Are you insane? Absolutely not And I'm sure they all smell like relatively similar Well I imagine there's a difference between dark and dark night or black and black night what was it i think it was black night apollo and something else ice clicks vice clicks yeah um what was worse axe or bod i forgot bod existed until right now i used to have bod bod was like i love the commercials it's like you spray it and a woman shows up and like humps this guy's leg yeah like what is this it's like this is for 12 year old boys yeah it isn't by the way you just loved it it was definitely marketed toward kids my age our age the the uh commercials were grown men yeah but it was like they're like here it's a stocking stuffer i don't think that was the commercial i used to get ax i had a lot of colognes and body sprays as a kid i didn't have any i had an axe you smelled like shit i smelled fine no you smell like shit and you smelled like clicks i did i smelled like touch and vice and kilo like vice dude i think i smelled great i'm sure you did i had michael jordan cologne had a basketball on the bottle it was good i also had kira you remember kira from paxun that was a big one what was the uh curve was a big one curve was a big one yeah it was the one from um Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch something like that it was like oh Fierce oh I don't remember that one I remember that do a weird thing at the time remember when people would like 13 year old kids would be outside of Abercrombie and Fitch with bathing suits on dudes with their shirts off just standing there like here 15 year old girl go stand outside in a bikini at the mall weirdos it was a time it was a time it was a wild west it really was the wild wild west don't start singing the song we're gonna get out of here before frank starts singing will smith songs but thank you guys so much for uh you know hanging around uh like we said earlier the halloween merch is available now shop.sandagostudios.com to get yours in time for halloween uh send us some pictures uh if you buy it and let us know we love seeing that from you guys uh you know there's also some tickets left especially for um hollywood florida uh that's going to be a really fun show danny's opening that show it's going to be a party really excited for that so go check that out at basementyard.com and submit uh base the basementyard.com slash submit send that in as well um and yeah we'll see you guys out there you got you we're gonna find you Ant do you want to see you guys next time thank you so much wait come on jokes aside that is getting rude you could find me at the Frank Alvarez everywhere also maybe on eBay buying vintage Axe body spray stuff and you could find Ant on the top 10 FBI's most wanted list he's been on there for a couple years that's the joke I'm ending with solid that's it we'll see you guys next time
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