#530 - Getting Swallowed By A Black Hole

5:52Joe Santagato:Yeah, I was, I had puffed. That's fine. Puffed, brother. It looked like someone, like, I'm not kidding, like someone glued ringdings to your chest.

6:01Frank Alvarez:I don't think you know what ringdings are. I don't know, I don't know.

6:03Joe Santagato:Alright, maybe not running things. Like the Entenmann's chocolate-covered donuts. You know how they're kind of like rubbery? Those are so good. They're also like black-brown, so... They're also dog shit. They're disgusting. I hate those. Yeah, they're not good. But like you had like... It looked like someone put like a lifesaver under your shirt. Yeah, kind of. It's... Yo, I'm not kidding. Like puffy and like the middle part of the nipple, the areola, was like in. So it was like a valley. I don't have inverted nipples. You did. I don't know that I did.

6:36Frank Alvarez:I think that it was all just puffed out.

6:38Joe Santagato:Dude, if someone showed me your nipples in seventh grade, just like a picture, they would look like a pair of tits.

6:48Frank Alvarez:All right. My friend has inverted nipples. Yeah? Yeah. Is he insecure? For other things, probably. No, I meant for his nipples. Well, he's an adult with inverted nipples.

6:58Joe Santagato:What exactly is an inverted nipple? Can we clarify? I would assume. Like a dimpled nipple?

7:03Frank Alvarez:Sure. It's like a nipple. It's in there. It's like facing around going backwards. Like dimpled nipple. Dimpled nipple. It's like a nipple, but like this. Dimpled. Yeah. Wait, is that? Yeah. Yeah. A dimple. There's not a joke in there. I'll find it. I kind of have a feeling that like high school has got to be way harder

7:27Joe Santagato:because they're at an age where like fourth to eighth grade, I can like bark at them Be like Hey Hey Don't cut it out Yeah 9 to 12 There's a chance they might be taller and bigger than me Yeah And they could fuck me up

7:42Frank Alvarez:They still listen

7:45Joe Santagato:Do they?

7:46Frank Alvarez:I mean you can kind of like reason a little more Like someone who's in 6th grade, 7th grade Who's just like You know Just crazy I feel like it's harder Like I didn't like listening to any teachers

7:58Joe Santagato:I feel like it's probably harder now with the onset of social media because like inside jokes are like nationwide and worldwide now. Like when we had inside jokes, it was like in a classroom. I mean, bro, this thing, this was worldwide.

8:09Frank Alvarez:This was, oh my God, the hand pussy. You get that? Do you ever guys make hand pussies? Yeah, I've seen a hand vagina. Yeah, dude, you were like, you were like, oh, whoa. Yeah. Guess what it does. I feel like teachers would be mad too. They'd be like, hey, stop the pussy. They knew we were making pussies at them. You know? You want to make one? You want to make a pussy?

8:28Frank Alvarez:Oh, look at him.

8:29Joe Santagato:Let's be very clear. Doesn't look like that.

8:33Frank Alvarez:Yeah, no. Maybe at the OBGYN when they got you cranked open. Maybe. You know what I mean? You're in the stirrups and they're opening you to check everything? What are those things called that open vaginas? Oh, the clamp? Yeah. Clamp. No, there's a word for them. Opener. Keep going. I don't know. You'll find it. Does it look? Because I've never been. I think it's called like

9:00Joe Santagato:Forceps Speculum No that's not what I was thinking No That's why I don't care

9:06Frank Alvarez:Forceps Were you ever in the room For something like that Like during childbirth stuff

9:10Joe Santagato:Where they had to like Check her out Yeah like do they I don't think I ever saw When they had to like Mechanically open it Yeah Like a car check Yeah I didn't see that Like they Yeah like they had to Take it out of the trunk Tie the fucking You know He's just He's taking the crank Cranking it open

9:27Frank Alvarez:It's kind of a wild...

9:29Joe Santagato:It is insane.

9:30Frank Alvarez:What a compromising position. What a compromising position, and it's crazy what women go through. Bro. Isn't it crazy? We go to the doctor, and it's like the doctor holds your balls. He's like, cough. Cough once. That's the extent, bro. If I had to be basically in a rocket ship with my legs up, and the doctor's cranking open my thing. Lay back. Let me get in.

9:49Joe Santagato:It's got to be wildly invasive. Oh, my God. I can only... I mean, I've been examined, like, in ways that the normal man does not have to get examined for medical things. Let's make that very clear. And, like, that's uncomfortable for me. So I can imagine it's just, like, a routine visit. Get up on the stirrups, brother.

10:08Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

10:08Joe Santagato:Like, if the way that you're going to the doctor is the same the way that someone, like, mounts a horse, yeah, crazy. It's probably uncomfortable. Insane.

10:17Frank Alvarez:Yeah. Have you got a finger in your butt yet? No. Me neither. Yeah, I guess we should probably ask No, me neither No, I haven't I mean, I've definitely, like, washed my butt pretty hard And, like, accidentally fingered your own asshole, dude Fingered's crazy Like, I'm not, like, my whole finger was in there That's not what I Stop me, stop me When it's gotten into your ass, realistically Okay, well, you should start from the other side Because it's only gonna get shorter Like, if you could start at the top Wait, what? He's like, Mark, stop me And I'm like, well, it's Start on the other side? Okay No, no, no I'm saying like I hear what you're saying But like

11:00Joe Santagato:I would say

11:01Frank Alvarez:Alright, I'm going up A third of the nail

11:04Joe Santagato:A third of the nail Oh, brother Yeah

11:06Frank Alvarez:I feel like it would've been easier to start from the top Yeah I didn't want to say stop with me I didn't know how fast he was gonna go

11:12Joe Santagato:I wasn't gonna go fast with my finger I bet you weren't I was not

11:16Frank Alvarez:But yeah, just like, you know

11:17Joe Santagato:I meant by the doctor

11:19Frank Alvarez:Yeah, no Doctors never fiddle around in my...

11:21Joe Santagato:I mean, fiddled is the non-medical way to say it. Let's make it very clear. The only fingers that have been in my ass have been for medical reasons. But they are fiddling. By definition, I don't think... Fiddle has a sense of playfulness and joy to it.

11:34Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

11:35Joe Santagato:Like, when you... Well, you gotta make it fun. No, you don't. Nothing fun about it.

11:39Frank Alvarez:Dude, I'm not a doctor. But I imagine it's gotta be a little fun.

11:43Joe Santagato:You are correct. You are not a doctor.

11:45Frank Alvarez:You know, you go to the doctor and they give you a lollipop.

11:47Joe Santagato:They're making it fun. Dude, if that's happening, boy, all the doctors I've seen at poor bedside manner. Real quick, which place has the best lollipops? The bank. Thank you. Tuh.

12:02Frank Alvarez:Bank lollipops.

12:03Joe Santagato:Those like, I don't know why, but they're Italian to me. The lollipops are Italian and it's like they have like random white in the middle.

12:10Frank Alvarez:They're like yin and yang, but never black and white. They're always like yellow and white. Yellow, green, white, orange, and red sometimes.

12:17Joe Santagato:What are those bank lollipops, dude? And they're kind of soft.

12:22Frank Alvarez:What is that?

12:22Joe Santagato:What is the act? Can you buy bank lollipops? Or is it like once you open a bank, they reach out and they're just like, listen, we see you got a bankie. It'd be really nice if you had some lollipops that no other place has on the planet.

12:36Frank Alvarez:I'll tell you what. I vividly remember going to the bank. Ridgewood. I went into Ridgewood and I put in my paycheck, which, by the way, No joke $68 That's illegal We got it Joe You're making a lot more money now Oh my god But I put I put in$68 And then They made a complaint That I didn't have enough In the account And like there was gonna be Something over there Dude fuck banks Dude I took Eight lollipops I was like I'm leaving here with eight First of all Absolutely

13:06Joe Santagato:And I've taken pens From banks Frank Dude I hated that I'm not leaving without a pen I don't know If banks are still like that If they are Fuck you banks Yeah Second of all, it was the same thing. It was just like, all right, here's my first paycheck. And it's like, oh, you don't have this much in your account to cover it. So it won't be ready for three days. And I'm like, I only have 68. Why do you want more from me? Well, I'm already in a bad place. But not even that. It's just like they do the thing where it's like, well, you need the funds in there to account for. And I'm sure there are people that work for banks that are watching this that are just like, I can explain.

13:41Joe Santagato:I don't want an explanation.

13:42Frank Alvarez:No one wants to know. I have$68 to my name and you're telling me that that's not enough and I should be charged for being poor already.

13:49Joe Santagato:We're going to play a quick game of guess the shirt that I was wearing. I have a picture of my mom and I at the bank when I cashed my first working paycheck, like on the books paycheck. I was wearing a graphic tee. I'm going to give you three guesses to guess at least in the realm of which. I mean, it was Marvel. Nope. DC. No. Sports. Joey, you think I was wearing a sports graphic tee? I don't. I mean, I've exhausted my options here.

14:19Frank Alvarez:No, there's other avenues. Was it like a PacSun type of vibe? No. Was it like a cheeky, like, if you're reading this, you're too close.

14:28Joe Santagato:No, like the man, the myth. Yeah, some sort of shit. Was it a spray-painted shirt? No, it was Reptar.

14:36Frank Alvarez:Let me ask you a question. Why did you think that out of all the things that exist in the world that I was going to guess the dinosaur from Rugrats. Like, were you that confident that I was going to pull that out of my ass?

14:47Joe Santagato:I thought you would at least be able to say, like, oh, it was something, like, cartoon-related. I was going to go to Cereal Box next,

14:53Frank Alvarez:because I know you had a couple of those.

14:54Joe Santagato:I mean, you're moving in the right direction, at least. Cereal Box is going towards Rugrats? Somehow, in my head. Absolutely. Ant, do you know who Reptar is? Yes. Okay. He's very tapped into, like, cartoons. The original weird-looking chocolate bar. Remember the Reptar chocolate bars? It was like you bite into it and it was green And now you have those Dubai chocolate bars Yeah those are gross

15:14Frank Alvarez:Can we talk about something? Dark chocolate sucks my fucking little balls Sure we can talk about that I hate dark chocolate That's all I have

15:25Joe Santagato:That's all you got

15:26Frank Alvarez:It's just so like not milk

15:29Joe Santagato:Yeah that is correct I was just ready to like prepare a statement that Dubai chocolate bars look like poop from a butt Like they look I'm not even kidding. Like, I understand that there's certain food that looks unappetizing, but then you eat it and it's good. We talked recently about oysters. Yep. I can't even imagine a world where a Dubai chocolate bar tastes like anything other than the dog shit that it looks like.

15:55Frank Alvarez:It literally, like, it's like hairy.

15:58Joe Santagato:Yeah. Like, people open up and it's like, look at this.

16:01Frank Alvarez:And I'm like, I'm seeing hair.

16:02Joe Santagato:When people open it, I'm like, it looks like it's something that mushrooms grow on. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like a filthy, fucking disgusting, poopy butt. Ahmed loves it. I mean, I'm not like...

16:16Frank Alvarez:Ahmed loves it. There's a word for it. It starts with a K, but I forget what it is. But it's like, it's something. I just don't think... The only Dubai chocolate bar that I've ever had was dark chocolate, so I was already just not in a good mood.

16:29Joe Santagato:Oh, you've tried one?

16:30Frank Alvarez:I have, yeah.

16:30Joe Santagato:Oh, and what does it taste like?

16:32Frank Alvarez:The middle?

16:33Joe Santagato:I know it's like pistachios in there somewhere. Yeah. And pubes, I guess. Yeah, and there's hair.

16:39Frank Alvarez:It looks really good. Really? Stop. Does it not? It looks like you're eating moss. Well, I will say.

16:45Joe Santagato:No, why does that look good?

16:46Frank Alvarez:Are you a deer? I think that we're finding out what, you know, Frank poops green pretty consistently, apparently.

16:53Joe Santagato:No, but like, tell me that doesn't look like shit. I'm not saying I fucking like that. No, but you could see why I feel like that is.

17:05Frank Alvarez:It's like guacamole. I could, I'm going to give it a second shot when I had, when it's milk chocolate. Cause I just can't. Get some Dubai chocolate bars in here for the boy. I can do that.

17:14Joe Santagato:Yeah. Because I imagine.

17:15Frank Alvarez:Make Frank eat the poop.

17:17Joe Santagato:You know what I mean? But like when there, there are some that I've seen that are just soaking wet. Wet? Yeah. Like the middle is just sopping, soaking wet.

17:26Frank Alvarez:Okay. Just like. Yeah. Wet. I get it. Have you ever seen a cooking show where they're making cakes and all of a sudden they have this um it's like a not a spray bottle but it's like a like an oil bottle you know what i mean or like like oil like in the no i'm letting you go it's like a like a ketchup bottle but it's clear and they have oil and they go okay yeah like a squirt bottle yeah like a squirt bottle but there's like two or three holes and they like soak the cake in something you ever see that oh when they wet the cake i love that i have seen that they do that a lot and like ganache dude Oh, I love when they make the ganache.

18:03Joe Santagato:I do like a ganache. I do like a ganache. The best cupcake I've ever had was unbelievable. Was a Irish Car Bomb cupcake. Follow me. Follow me. Follow me. Where, how, and why? It was a Guinness flavored cupcake. So they put Guinness in it to make the cupcake. And then the ganache was a whiskey chocolate ganache. Yeah. And then the frosting on top was a Bailey's cream frosting. Dude, it'll fucking take your ass and send it through the conveyor belt.

18:39Frank Alvarez:Was it alcoholic?

18:41Joe Santagato:I mean, all the alcohol was probably cooked off. Yeah.

18:44Frank Alvarez:But, like, it was good. That was the best cupcake you've ever had? Best cupcake I've ever had in my life. That's insane. That's insane. It's so good. Just like a regular cupcake. Regular cupcakes are overrated. I don't like cakes in places.

19:00Joe Santagato:Does that make sense? Dude, when you go to like... Homemade cakes. When you go to like, listen, all power to like small business owners that have like confectionaries and like, you know, make like specialty cakes and cupcakes. If I go to a bakery and I'm going for cupcakes, if this is the cupcake, there better be at most that much frosting on cupcake.

19:22Frank Alvarez:Yeah, I can't.

19:22Joe Santagato:When they do this...

19:23Frank Alvarez:I can't.

19:24Joe Santagato:I can't. It's like, Like, how am I eating this?

19:28Frank Alvarez:Yeah. Whom's mouth do I have? Yeah, like, you want me to eat this with a snake's mouth? Cobra snake. You want that TikTok girl's mouth? The one that's fucking giant mouth? Bro, why does that girl's mouth open up like a bat? It's just like, oh. Unclear. It's crazy. She looks like Goldbat.

19:51Frank Alvarez:Tell me I'm wrong. A little bit. I watched her fit a full can of Fosters in her mouth in front of me.

19:57Joe Santagato:In front of you? You met the mouth woman?

20:01Frank Alvarez:Yeah, she came on my thing. Oh, she was on your podcast? Yeah, she was on your podcast. Oh, I've talked to her before. Yeah, I think so. Wait, what?

20:09Joe Santagato:Both of you guys have met the mouth woman.

20:11Frank Alvarez:I haven't met the mouth. I did talk to her, though.

20:14Joe Santagato:You heard how you said she came on my thing. What did she come on? Don't say it. No, no, no. Oh, okay.

20:21Frank Alvarez:My uh It's a Yeah I was trying to say Yeah I was trying to like Not I was trying to My other thing I was like that's where I met her You're a walking billboard

20:27Joe Santagato:It's over So wait I imagine I imagine that her life is Difficult Cause people just say like Let's Let's see what your mouth can do

20:36Frank Alvarez:Well she That's like her thing Yeah She's like turned it into her thing She came over Like we had her Bananas And like other things And Bananas brother Why did you say bananas Why did you say bananas I'm saying like we had her we all tried to put different things in our mouths together. We were bad at it. She was very good.

20:53Joe Santagato:Can I ask you a question? Bananas, like, at their girthiest are, like, a half dollar. This way. Oh, she can do it sideways? Yeah. That's crazy. Like, she's a monkey phone? What's that? You don't remember the monkey phone banana? Oh, yeah. Monkey banana phone? Dude, your mind.

21:10Frank Alvarez:The places it goes. Yeah. And her husband came in, and he saw, like, all the things, and he was like, yeah, that's usually what people make her do. I'm like, damn it. Yeah, no. I mean, you remember the scene that I think of is one of the naked guns where he has the full fucking watermelon in his mouth?

21:27Joe Santagato:I don't remember that.

21:28Frank Alvarez:He, like, turns around and he's like, oh, wait, no, that's not that. That's not in the naked gun. That's in one of the movies. Never mind. Oh, it's a movie called Mafia. Do you know what that is? It was a parody on, like, the Godfather and whatnot. Oh, no. But I think it was, I was about to say Leslie Mann. That's wrong.

21:46Joe Santagato:I mean, she might have been in it. She is a comedic actress. Leslie. Nielsen.

21:51Frank Alvarez:Yeah, Nielsen.

21:52Joe Santagato:Yeah.

21:52Frank Alvarez:It was him.

21:53Joe Santagato:R.I.P.

21:54Frank Alvarez:R.I.P.

21:54Joe Santagato:Who are, as Joey calls him, White King. When have I called him that? What the fuck?

22:02Frank Alvarez:Definitely haven't called him that. You know what? Let's get to some sponsors after that. I mean, I don't know where to go from there, honestly. But we do have some sponsors. The first one being, how you doing? We have Squarespace. Okay? Squarespace is going to be the platform where you are going to build your website. Squarespace, they make it very easy to build your website. We've used them for a number of years now. All the landing pages that we have, we've built with Squarespace. Our website is Squarespace. But I think it's the best platform to build your website, mainly because they have awesome templates to choose from.

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26:45Frank Alvarez:we do we love you and we miss you uh in theory what were we just talking about before It doesn't matter because there's more pressing matters, which is apparently there's a black hole that's like eating other galaxies. I heard of this. What's a black hole? Right?

27:02Joe Santagato:I don't know. What is it? I think a black hole is, it is like a break in the space-time continuum that just swallows light and matter and it just turns it into dust. I don't, I think there's - Where does it go though?

27:16Frank Alvarez:I think it's a, there's another aside. Like you go through a black hole.

27:19Joe Santagato:A hole needs a side. A hole needs two sides. That's what makes a hole a hole. Yeah. Like, you got to go... If you're going in a hole, there's got to be something in there. But, like, how do we know what's on the other side? You don't, dude. That's the thing. So, like, what's it doing with these galaxies? Where is it putting them? I don't know. Like, your mouth is a hole, and there's two sides.

27:38Frank Alvarez:Now you got to chill. I don't want to talk about my mouth. Why not? Because I know where this is going.

27:42Joe Santagato:I was going to say, like, think about it. Like, if, let's say, a galaxy is a Twix bar. milky way or something stupid like mike and ike's where are you going your mouth is a black hole and it swallows the galaxy mike and ike's it doesn't just stay in your body forever it eventually it goes out somewhere frank the a black hole do you know what a black hole is

28:11Frank Alvarez:did you like look it up or something i'm just looking up some keep going but a black A black hole. From my understanding. You know what? I don't have an understanding. I don't know. Does it travel? It moves. It's not just a hole.

28:30Joe Santagato:It's a moving hole. How does a hole move? Bro. It's like those Wile E. Coyote when he draws a hole on the wall. And he pulls it? And then pulls it across.

28:39Frank Alvarez:What is it? I'll give this fact about it, which I didn't know. So black holes range in size from tiny structures comparable to a human cell to giants and billions of times more than the mass of the sun.

28:51Joe Santagato:So you're telling... Whoa. Stop it. First of all, if it's billions of times larger than the sun... We could be in a hole right now. Deep in a hole. Well, no. If we got in a hole, we'd be going. It'd be a big problem. It'd be a big old faddle. Why? Who's to say? I mean, I think... We could be one side of the hole. That doesn't mean that we're not in. But I think they figured out that within the hole, like, it's like it's a hole, and then when it gets in there, it's like... You get eaten up It's like a sarlacc pit

29:13Frank Alvarez:No it's not It's the opposite The gravity is so intense in a black hole That every like Let's say centimeter of your body Gets stretched Spaghettification You get spaghettified Spaghettification I've heard about this You turn into spaghetti You will become a bigger spaghetti meatball Why do you guys know that term?

29:29Joe Santagato:I've watched Loki Science

29:32Frank Alvarez:You're Also science This is your job You're not science I can't know things

29:38Joe Santagato:Also science Yeah no a spaghettification where it stretches your body and you literally are shredded like a piece of spaghetti.

29:45Frank Alvarez:I think it could be the size of a cell. What does that mean? I wouldn't know that there's a hole. I get it being big.

29:53Joe Santagato:I think a black hole the size of a cell is probably not going to swallow us.

29:58Frank Alvarez:But how does it... But it's got to do something. How does it exist?

30:01Joe Santagato:Because there are things that are smaller than us in this world. What does it live off of a black hole? I don't think, I think it's the absence of light and matter. So, like, it doesn't live off anything and it just kind of consumes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, like, I don't like black holes.

30:22Frank Alvarez:That's racist, dude.

30:23Joe Santagato:Well, I don't like any holes.

30:25Frank Alvarez:Right.

30:25Joe Santagato:You know what? I'm not doing myself any favors here. That doesn't either.

30:30Frank Alvarez:But I don't know. Like, obviously I've watched, what's the movie? I don't know. Interstellar. That's the one. And like the black hole there, it's like this whole thing. And he's like floating in this weird purgatory of.

30:44Joe Santagato:If you found out that we could go into a black hole, but we have like an 85 % chance. Like you could see what's over there and then we can bring you back. 85 % chance though. You doing it?

30:57Frank Alvarez:Are you fucking crazy? I'm not doing that. No. Okay.

31:02Joe Santagato:All right. I thought the are you fucking crazy was like, yeah. No. I want to see what art is out there. I want to see what Black Hole Joey's like. I really don't want to be in a black hole. I mean, but you could go and come out. Like, you can go and hang out.

31:13Frank Alvarez:You just have an 85 % chance. That's 15 % chance of Dane.

31:17Joe Santagato:Yeah, yeah, yeah. 85 % is pretty good, though. Those are good numbers. Watch this. They are good. And 85-15, you taking it? He said he'd go twice.

31:23Frank Alvarez:What if it's just dark?

31:25Joe Santagato:Well, you don't know. It could. You don't know. I'll do it. You son of a bitch. That's what I'm saying. I'll do it.

31:32Frank Alvarez:85-15, I'll take that.

31:33Joe Santagato:Yeah. I just don't like the idea of like a black hole just like creeping.

31:39Frank Alvarez:Like what happens if it gets – wait, is this one bigger than Earth that we're talking about? Which one? The one that I'm talking about. Like there's one that's like moving and it's like – first of all, it's eating a galaxy. Obviously, it's bigger than the Earth. We're doomed. But that's crazy, dude.

31:54Joe Santagato:I don't know. Like this scares me more than like real things should scare me. You don't like space. I don't like space. I don't like underwater. Yeah. Which do you think you don't like more, space or the depths of the water? Depths of the water because it's right here. It's closer. I mean, space is right there. It's right there, but water is right here. Like, I can go and be in the problem.

32:19Frank Alvarez:Yeah. Okay. I get it. But also, I guess like... But it's so much smaller than space. Like, the sheer size of space scares me.

32:28Joe Santagato:That is scary. Like, the idea of like... Because it's sizeless. It's sizeless. You ever seen those things that are just like, it shows like a person in Times Square, say, and then it keeps zooming out. Yeah. And it gets to like the Milky Way galaxy and it's like not even a fucking pixel.

32:46Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

32:46Joe Santagato:That fucks me up.

32:48Frank Alvarez:And it's funny because sometimes I see videos like that. It's like, oh, you're worried about like how you, or you're worried about being cringy. And then it does that. And it's really, honestly, it helps because it puts it in perspective a little bit. and I'm like what the fuck am I doing yeah you know like you're a little scared about doing something you're worried about something and it's like I get it because we're all having a human experience and it's like I gotta worry about this I can't think about the fucking the size of the whole universe every time I make a decision but when you really get the perspective you're like damn dude the chances what are the chances that you get to be born yeah it is like I mean I think

33:27Joe Santagato:I think the astronaut that went to the moon said that like there was like something that happened to them were like they got freaked out because they looked at earth and they were like everything about human existence is right there it's right there yeah and it's like that concept is fucking

33:42Frank Alvarez:freaky i feel like if space travel became very accessible not like travel but if you were able to like uh get right outside of the atmosphere and like see earth that i feel like even if i saw it i wouldn't believe what i'm looking at like i'd be like this is not real how are we How are we in a circle, guy?

34:03Joe Santagato:Well, there's a lot of people that don't think we're in a circle. They think that we're on a disc, you know? That too, though. I'd be like, bro, whoa, flat. I just, yeah, I mean, space is fucking crazy. Yeah, I just don't know what else to say. I mean, like, the idea of space that, like, we're just floating, like, and we're just moving in, like, a predetermined path, and if we get off that path a little bit, we're fucking toast.

34:28Frank Alvarez:Bro, also think about as a society, as like a planet, we have gotten like, like we're very intelligent life forms on Earth. Some of us more intelligent than others. Some would say. But then like when you consider everything else, you're like, we don't know literally anything.

34:51Joe Santagato:Well, that's the freakiest quote that I've heard is Neil deGrasse Tyson, which Neil, still come on the show. I would love to have Neil in here Neil we have so many questions for you that we know you can answer One being what kind of shampoo you use He's got good hair dude But also He said like We don't know what we don't know And like Yeah That's to me that's crazy because like You can look at something and be like Oh I understand Like that's a camera but I don't know how it works Yeah But like then there's things about the universe or physics or anything that we just can't our brain at its current Level of knowledge can't even comprehend understanding.

35:34Frank Alvarez:I'll go even lower, bro

35:37Joe Santagato:Phone calls phone calls fuck me phone calls phone calls dude.

35:41Frank Alvarez:Yeah, we're all pretending like phone calls are just like But it's it's become such a normal part of the fucking I hear you brother. Fuck that cameras What?

35:52Joe Santagato:Cameras Cameras? What the fuck?

35:54Frank Alvarez:Bro, cameras There's like a physical thing though

35:56Joe Santagato:No, no, no, no But like Old timey ones Where it was like The big bulb that flashed Onto a paper or something I feel like that's way easier To understand

36:04Frank Alvarez:No, dude Radio Like sound waves Like radio waves Radio and phones Phone calls Like radio waves I don't Bro, how does a phone call happen? Don't fucking say waves What's the waves? That's my question You're telling me I'm calling someone I'm talking to someone on the other side of the planet? Mm-hmm. Yeah. What? Yeah, yeah. Or even better, you're talking an astronaut in space? Mm-hmm. How the fuck phone call get there?

36:30Joe Santagato:I can understand that now, but in 1969 where they're like, you know, one small step for man, one giant step for mankind. How are you? They're up there, brother.

36:42Frank Alvarez:Dude.

36:42Joe Santagato:We're here.

36:43Frank Alvarez:How am I?

36:44Joe Santagato:Why do I need to call collect in order to fucking reach, you know,

36:47Frank Alvarez:Barbara three streets away? and obviously like a phone call figuring out how to phone call works is like i'm sure there's an answer whatever my thing is this how did someone think of that like how did someone be like we'll the we'll just put it and it won't nothing will be connected and i know that how to say like

37:11Joe Santagato:we figured out a way to transmit a signal of you talking to a tower which goes to another tower and pings to that person.

37:17Frank Alvarez:You said a bunch of stuff that I don't have answers to.

37:19Joe Santagato:And I'll be honest with you. I've heard the answers. Still don't make sense to me. I don't think Neil could really help us with phone calls. Well, he's going to get the questions. He's not a telecommunication specialist. He better be. But you know what? Yeah, when you're that smart and famous for being smart, you better have all the answers. And Hank too.

37:35Frank Alvarez:Bro.

37:36Joe Santagato:Hank Green. Hank probably knows. Hank probably knows. And he'd probably put it in a way that he does. And he'd put it in a way that's very easily digestible, but also like, fuck you, Hank. Why do you need to know that, You smart bitch

37:46Frank Alvarez:I have such a Did I ever tell you About how Hank Green Like will text me randomly Did I ever tell you that I don't know Hank Green doesn't text me He will randomly Text me a picture Of like a duck That's kind of cool And it's always just like You know how smart You need to be It's just like so random That is so funny You know how smart You need to be

38:04Joe Santagato:To like just send Pictures of ducks What That's just I think like That's such a smart Person's thing to do Why Cause he's probably like The The Cosm the cosmic randomness that this animal exists on this color palette with this gradient that's tricking our eyes into seeing and existing at the time i think it's just a duck no hank's not doing

38:28Frank Alvarez:it just for the duck i think he's just ducking it my friend used to send me a picture of his balls

38:31Joe Santagato:with lettuce on it every day at lettuce yeah your friend i'm gonna say it is not hank should be in prison every day every day at 12 p.m at a certain point 12 p.m were they not working a normal job yeah what's going on well there's no okay they were lettuce dick yeah that just balls on lettuce remind me no lettuce on balls sorry was it i'm gonna ask uh some follow-up questions was

38:56Frank Alvarez:it the same photo or unclear i think it was it was some different flavor sometimes uh how long

39:01Joe Santagato:did this go on three months and at what point did you block his number it's just like why you keep doing this really just more the question so what you're saying is you didn't block his number i I did not block his number. He was my friend. Yeah. I mean, was he? After a while, it's like you can only see so many balls. Yeah. I mean, you didn't see so many. You saw the same balls. That's true. You saw more lettuce than balls. That's also true. That's also true.

39:32Frank Alvarez:Well, I can't say that's not my experience with Hank Green. It's just ducks. It's good. Yeah. I haven't gotten a duck in a while. I will say that. It's just bullshit. When was the last time he got some balls? Balls? Oh, that's been years since I got a pair of balls. Let me see the last duck I got from Hank.

39:51Joe Santagato:That seems like a smart person's thing to do, to be so amazed by something so... This is the last duck.

39:55Frank Alvarez:This was December 2nd, so we're almost going on a year. Wow, a year with no duck, Hank! That's one duck. Do you guys want to see them? Is it a pretty duck? Well, this one's not. This is a duck. That's Howard the duck. Yeah, that's Howard. I don't know who that is. Then he sent He sent this duck Which is a middle finger I don't think he was upset that day What else we got The first one was it Oh That was a fuck duck That was a fuck duck Yeah it was Wow he sent you a fuck duck I honestly was so confused By the original duck That I just sent a duck back Oh wait no Well the first text he ever texted me Said hello it's Hank Green And then sent a picture of a sick duck Whoa It's a cool duck You know what?

40:42Frank Alvarez:I could see why you'd send that duck That's a sick duck That's a really good duck But then the next time we spoke He just sent a picture of a duck coming out of a banana

40:53Joe Santagato:That's a good duck too, honestly I don't hate that one Peel the duck

40:57Frank Alvarez:At that point I was very confused So I sent something back It was like a koala wearing a hat

41:03Joe Santagato:That's not a bad one either That's not what you send back yeah i mean if you're sending responding to a duck it needs to be better than a duck so that's what i sent back and then he sends me a text three months later of a giant duck building

41:16Frank Alvarez:so i sent a duck back and then we had a conversation about just nothing and then the next time we talked again it was another duck it's just like a very you know it's just one of those things i feel like people like that it's like you know we we it's just a it's just a

41:29Joe Santagato:thing you gotta do we have them a duck right now we have archaeologists and linguistics that are still trying to decipher some of the, you know, language and text from ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, other ancient civilizations. This is what we're doing with our time. Sending fuck ducks, banana ducks, orange ducks. All this because we were talking about fucking black holes, dude.

41:53Frank Alvarez:There's something beautiful about it.

41:55Joe Santagato:Yeah, there is. There is. The kinship that he must feel with you. Like, maybe the people, you know what? I hope he's not sending ducks to everyone.

42:03Frank Alvarez:That would make me upset

42:04Joe Santagato:Wow yeah then he's cheating on you

42:05Frank Alvarez:I'd like to be the duck He's a duck cheater I'd like to Yeah I'd like to be the The only duck in his pond Now that's I don't want to be that You can swim in his pond

42:13Joe Santagato:That's fine That's an okay way to say it

42:16Frank Alvarez:Friendshiply Yeah Yeah Platonic Friendly is the word That I was going with Jesus Christ Friendshiply Maybe sending somebody else Like turtles

42:26Joe Santagato:Yeah but then again If he is But like If Hank Green We're doing 10 minutes I know Hank Green's getting their time. If Hank Green is sending you a duck, would you be insulted if he sends someone else like a cooler animal, like a tiger or a giraffe? Nah, nah, nah.

42:41Frank Alvarez:Bro, if he— I may take a page out of his book, though, and do this. Like, the next person that I give my number to, I'm just going to, like, send a photo with every text and see how long it takes until they like—

42:51Joe Santagato:Like, what—it wouldn't hurt you if you found out that he has, like, a rank and file based off of how much he likes someone based off of his favorite animals, and he hates ducks.

43:02Frank Alvarez:I would certainly be confused because I feel like our interactions have been positive. So for me to get the negative duck would be very confusing.

43:11Joe Santagato:Like say you get a duck and then he texts me like, again, like a cool animal. Right. Like a gorilla.

43:17Frank Alvarez:Right.

43:17Joe Santagato:Or an electric eel.

43:20Frank Alvarez:Well, how did your mind go there?

43:21Joe Santagato:I'm just thinking cool animal.

43:23Frank Alvarez:You ever eaten an eel?

43:24Joe Santagato:Oh, yeah. Sushi.

43:25Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

43:26Joe Santagato:It's all right.

43:27Frank Alvarez:I mean, it's been cooked. Are electric eels... electric yeah brother like they will like electrocute me yeah and i'll get hurt yeah can i

43:36Joe Santagato:die yep really oh yeah or is it like oh they can you need a lot of them but are they like they're

43:42Frank Alvarez:charged they're charged don't let it rip beyblade style can they can they like shock me from where

43:48Joe Santagato:you are like if you're in the water if you're in the water so it's like pikachu uh yeah yeah they are they are pokemon in real life wait they can throw electricity at me not like like you would have to be within close proximity or touch them yeah well if i touch them that makes sense yeah yeah so they just have it coursing through their bodies well they have a real thing yes dude they have to like let it go they have to like i imagine like it's like a porcupine because they could like kind of shoot their shit no porcupines don't and no they don't shoot they actually just kind of like

44:21Frank Alvarez:it just comes out. They do one of those. They like arch their back

44:25Joe Santagato:and they get like all whore-ish.

44:26Frank Alvarez:How many electric eels do you think it would take to power a house? Average house.

44:30Joe Santagato:Oh, brother.

44:31Frank Alvarez:200.

44:32Joe Santagato:No. Hundreds of thousands. 16 ,000 eels. Yeah.

44:39Frank Alvarez:What planet am I living on? I was right. Honestly, if my answer was correct, we could just... Yeah, but we wouldn't because of big energy. Right, exactly. Big energy. We would just start killing eels.

44:49Joe Santagato:I mean, we could, like, it would be not right.

44:55Frank Alvarez:Wait, so does that mean, can I get hurt from an eel? Like, it would really fuck me up if I touch an eel?

45:01Joe Santagato:It could. I mean, if you took your home power, you went to your box, and you fucking jammed forks in the side.

45:07Frank Alvarez:No, no, brother, it's 16 ,000 eels. Do you want a single eel fact? Yeah, yeah. Would that be nice? A single eel can produce up to 860 volts. That'll get you, brother. I don't know volts. Right, so that's why I was going to go into nearly four times the voltage of a standard plug socket. They are that electric? Yeah, brother, they'll get you. Boogie, boogie, boogie.

45:28Joe Santagato:Good job. Good job. Can I talk to them real quick? Just tell them what I'm going to say. Shit!

45:37Frank Alvarez:That is way more electric than I thought.

45:39Joe Santagato:So, like, there are people, like, they'll get you, dude.

45:43Frank Alvarez:Yeah, I mean, that will, like, literally put you down. If I put you, it'll fuck your day up.

45:48Joe Santagato:god that's scary i don't can like a wall socket i know it can harm a human and give them burns i

45:55Frank Alvarez:don't know if they could kill them though i mean i'm pretty sure like if your heart gets like

45:58Joe Santagato:jumped a little bit you could go down yes yes absolutely but did i tell you a story about my dad got electrocuted yes you have in the garage right no no he got electrocuted because he was

46:08Frank Alvarez:like holding it we were doing like a construction job and he was holding on to like an end of a thing and accidentally like i guess forgot what he was holding it and held this and he went and And the light turned on. Like that's how much electricity went through his body that the light turned on. I had to be resuscitated. I was laughing so hard.

46:25Joe Santagato:I've gotten an electric shock. I don't think technically I've been electrocuted because I think the cute part of it means that there is a. It's not so cute. There's death involved. Yeah. I've gotten shocked a handful of times. Nothing like crazy.

46:38Frank Alvarez:From like an outlet?

46:39Joe Santagato:Dude, I used to do at my old job. I responded to a couple cases where people like had third degree burns up their arms.

46:46Frank Alvarez:Oh my God.

46:47Joe Santagato:Because there was one in particular, it was in the basement of a construction project in Manhattan, and it was a guy, just something blue, and he was right there while he was working on it, and it fucking, like, it was bad.

47:02Frank Alvarez:Yo. Also, while we're talking about this, like, phone calls, whatever, electricity? What the fuck is that?

47:09Joe Santagato:That one makes more sense. It does, but, like, what? Because they can just, they can send it, they can make it and send it places. Yeah, but, like, what? And it's kind of like a physical thing. It feels yellow. It does. Well, that's because of Pokemon. That's because of Pokemon. And light bulbs. Light bulbs. But electricity feels yellow. It does. It's a yellow thing.

47:32Frank Alvarez:I think electricity makes sense because that's all hardwired and you see the wires and everything. What's adjacent to electricity is how you could just put your phone down on something and charge it. Dude, does it make sense? Or you walk into... Does it? There are some times you walk into a room and the room can charge your phone. Don't know what that means. What? I've never heard that in my entire life. That's like a thing going around. Can that be good for you? No, it can't be. Probably not. Absolutely not.

47:53Joe Santagato:No, we're dying tomorrow.

47:55Frank Alvarez:The whole place is fucking charged up? So now that part I don't understand.

47:59Joe Santagato:I don't like... I've never seen it, but I heard about it where it's like this magic thing at JFK where you could walk through and it'll only put up your information on the screen and someone stands next to you and they walk through it the exact same time, but they see theirs and not yours.

48:15Frank Alvarez:This is some Harry Potter shit.

48:17Joe Santagato:It really is. I want Harry Potter to stay in Harry Potter.

48:20Frank Alvarez:Oh, I don't. I would love to be a wizard. Really? Yeah, dude. I would love that.

48:26Joe Santagato:I mean, I would too. Who am I lying? Yeah.

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50:43Frank Alvarez:Wayfair spelled W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. The sale ends December 7th, but don't miss out on the early Black Friday deals. Head to wayfair.com, 70 % off. Insane. There you go, folks. Alright. What are you whispering? He whispers things into my ears sometimes. That's like the worst time to play a prank

51:05Joe Santagato:I mean, but you can't hear it It's the edit If you're doing it into a microphone, it can make it into the episode Yeah, but they cut my audio out

51:12Frank Alvarez:Hope so I mean, I would do

51:18Joe Santagato:I said something and he goes Jesus Pranks It is pranks Good old fashioned fucking pranks, Joey Jesus Christ, when's the last time you pranked someone? Be honest Exactly, dude

51:32Frank Alvarez:1999, Frank.

51:33Joe Santagato:Live a little. Live a little. Live less. We could get... He wants me to die. We could get swallowed by a fucking black hole tonight. And you're going to die thinking, oh my God, I'm turning into spaghetti. I should have pranked people more. I've been more playful.

51:47Frank Alvarez:You saying I could get swallowed tonight?

51:48Joe Santagato:I mean, I don't know, by a black hole, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And you could turn into spaghetti. You're just like, oh!

51:59Joe Santagato:So what's the word? Spaghettified? Spaghettification. Spaghettification. That doesn't sound like a bad way to go out. I imagine it hurts for a little bit, though. Getting stretched thin? Yeah, I would. But, like, it probably happens so quick that you won't feel anything? No?

52:14Frank Alvarez:I imagine, like, Jumanji, where it's like, oh, his hands get into the game. Oh, my God, good movie. Yeah. Good movie. You ever seen Jumanji?

52:21Joe Santagato:I have seen Jumanji. The fuck out of here. No, you haven't seen shit.

52:24Frank Alvarez:Not the original.

52:25Joe Santagato:Yeah, we're talking, you know, welcome to the jungle. We're talking, you know. Something. We're talking the original, baby. Robin Williams? Alan Parrish. Yeah. I got it. Put some respect on his baby.

52:36Frank Alvarez:Yo, those bugs in that movie? Nightmares.

52:38Joe Santagato:Those bugs are bad when he gets stuck in the floor and the spider's coming toward him? No, no, no, no, no. And he's like, what?

52:45Frank Alvarez:Legitimately my nightmare.

52:46Joe Santagato:Like, legitimately the last thing I would want. Could we, like, get you in a room with bugs?

52:53Frank Alvarez:We have. I held a... No, no, no.

52:56Joe Santagato:Like, I want... Let's prank Joey. Let's get him one day. We'd be like, yo, we're doing like a filming for like this watch company wants to give you their biggest watch. I can't. At like, oh, we can say like, yo, Rolex wants you to be like their spokes boy. And like spokes boy, you got to go into this room and he goes in the room. We shut the door.

53:15Frank Alvarez:He'll either fire me or like we'll have to throw hands. Yeah. If you guys did that, like I'm not letting it go. Like realistically. No, I am not letting it go. I'm being serious.

53:25Joe Santagato:But like realistically, I'm being serious.

53:27Frank Alvarez:If you came in here, right, and you, like, had a tarantula and you threw it on me, there will be a reaction.

53:36Joe Santagato:What would the reaction be?

53:38Frank Alvarez:Something that I know you will hate. And I don't know what it is right now, but I will get creative.

53:43Joe Santagato:Oh, like pranking me back. That's okay. I'd take a prank. You can call it a prank. I'd take a prank.

53:48Frank Alvarez:I mean, I'm talking about a reaction like it could be, like, I'm just— What are you going to do?

53:50Joe Santagato:Like, fucking, like, put a bomb in my house or something?

53:54Frank Alvarez:Put a bomb in your house? Who am I?

53:56Joe Santagato:I don't know.

53:57Frank Alvarez:The Punisher? That would be pretty cool. The absolute max that I would probably do is smash your windshield.

54:07Joe Santagato:I'd take that, honestly. I think that's a fair trade. I'll give up a windshield if it means that we can get you in a room just head to toe.

54:18Frank Alvarez:I held a tarantula. I'm actually very proud of myself that I did that. I held that tarantula in my hand. Thinking about that now is not good. We also held a couple bugs.

54:28Joe Santagato:We should get the bug guy back. Let's see if we can. We still got the bug guy merch.

54:33Frank Alvarez:He had merch.

54:33Joe Santagato:Yeah, we still got it. Ryan the bug guy, I think his name was?

54:37Frank Alvarez:I don't know, but it made it over in the transfer of studios, which shocked me. Yeah, yeah.

54:42Joe Santagato:Well, we respect the people that come in here, Ant.

54:44Frank Alvarez:That's not what we're doing. Sort of.

54:48Joe Santagato:It was on the rack. That's why it made it. Speaking of rack, did you see that? I was like how are you bringing what are you talking about you see Tom Brady cloned his dog what does that have to do with Rex nothing I just thought of a way to move on to something different yeah Tom Brady cloned his dog yeah I'm gonna do it stop no I'm not first of all what I imagine that costs a pretty penny Tom Brady's doing it it's Tom Brady money well there's a

55:17Frank Alvarez:conspiracy that not a conspiracy but he's like on the board of the company so it's like a fucking PR move. I mean... It literally sounds like Hagrid is driving around.

55:29Joe Santagato:Here comes that black hole. Yeah, right? Like, what is that?

55:32Frank Alvarez:I don't know what that is. But he's on, like, the board of this company that, like, clones things, I guess. I don't know.

55:38Joe Santagato:Oh, wait, we're doing

55:39Frank Alvarez:cloning now? Apparently. Like, we're in cloning. Didn't we clone a sheep, like, 20 years ago? Am I making that up?

55:45Joe Santagato:Yeah, and people were pissed about that. They did not like that. Why? We need wool. They were upset about that. We need wool. Yeah. But there's other ways to do that that are not cloning. There's definitely ethical conversations to have around cloning. Is cloning not ethical? I imagine.

56:02Frank Alvarez:I have no idea. That's a clone. All right. You don't have to treat them like not real thing.

56:08Joe Santagato:Well, that's the issue. That's the issue that people are just like, it's not real. The original is the real one. That's just a clone. Whatever.

56:14Frank Alvarez:I mean, if we were running out of wool, I think like cloning sheep. There's other ways to do it. To do what? Birth them. yeah i'm just saying like have them have sheeps fuck and then you get new sheeps i mean you could argue that that's not really like forcing two sheep to no they don't force them they don't

56:31Joe Santagato:take one and like the other and bash their shit together they like put them in a fucking field and they're just like it'd be crazy if you guys the only known sheeps to exist on the planet had

56:40Frank Alvarez:sex yeah they put on like some barely barry manilow and they're like but it's barry white

56:46Joe Santagato:might be the music again barry manilow's not really love making music i don't know why i

56:50Frank Alvarez:They meant to say Marvin Gaye.

56:52Joe Santagato:Barry Manilow is more like, I'm 50 drinking a Cosmo at Old Vegas. You know? Old Vegas. At the Copa. Copa Cabana.

57:01Frank Alvarez:I just found out, by the way, that I was talking about this place in the neighborhood. You remember Just Arthur's? It was on Steinway and 21st Avenue. It was on the corner.

57:13Joe Santagato:Steinway and 21st Avenue. Just Arthur's?

57:17Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

57:18Joe Santagato:Wasn't that like a restaurant?

57:20Frank Alvarez:Yeah, yeah. It was like a restaurant bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just found out. It had the stucco. Stucco?

57:25Joe Santagato:On the outside. You go ahead. Just go. I don't know.

57:30Frank Alvarez:But I just found out. It's like across from that salon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's on the corner. Yeah, yeah. On the corner.

57:37Joe Santagato:Yes, yes, yes.

57:38Frank Alvarez:So it's the opposite corner of that. But like I just found out that my grandma would go to church every Sunday. And then her and her friends would go right there. Dude, they would just drink Manhattan's. First of all. Sunday at 1215 Haven in Manhattan

57:54Joe Santagato:That's where That's where Praise God Praise God They were They were They were praising something that day Yeah Yeah that's like a well That was like a well known place For people outside of Astoria Really? Yeah like I knew other people That were just like Oh we'd love to go into Astoria Because of Just Arthur's And I like I had to do like a triple take I was like That place?

58:14Frank Alvarez:Yeah

58:15Joe Santagato:Like I've never set foot in it I don't know if it's even still there

58:18Frank Alvarez:No it's not I mean, it left like years ago, and then it was something else, and now I don't even know what the hell is there. I think it's like a store. Not a store, but like a place of business or some shit. I don't know.

58:29Joe Santagato:I think what you're referencing is Ditmar's. That's not 21st Avenue.

58:34Frank Alvarez:I am thinking Ditmar's. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

58:36Joe Santagato:Because I was going down more. Yeah, yeah.

58:38Frank Alvarez:Those are delis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was thinking Ditmar's. You're right. But, yeah, I just found that out. I was like, what? Because I remember – I was like, what was that place? Like, I remember being in there, like, once or twice when I was younger. But it was, like, a bar slash whatever. I saw Santa Claus there. You know what I mean? They had a Santa Claus. What?

58:58Joe Santagato:What was he doing there? We know he was there to see your grandmother and her friends. You watch it.

59:05Frank Alvarez:Okay. Do you remember the first Santa Claus you ever saw?

59:10Joe Santagato:No, but I do remember that my grandmother and her friends had a place, too. Grandparents? Where?

59:18Frank Alvarez:the place that your grandma used to go.

59:20Joe Santagato:No, that was where she worked. Oh, she worked there?

59:23Frank Alvarez:I thought that was like an old Greek hangout. It was an old Greek hangout.

59:27Joe Santagato:But like, she also worked there. What'd she do? Something. What did they do there? Honestly, I don't fucking know. I'm not even, I think she like did the books. She was an accountant? I don't know. Your grandma with dementia was the accountant? By the time the D rolled in, she was way out of there. Yeah, she had retired, and then that's when the dementia started to really show. That's when that D train came into the station. Take it easy. I don't like how you're talking about my grandmother. All right? I'll talk less about Santa and your grandma if you stop talking about my grandmother and the D train.

59:59Frank Alvarez:All right, no problem.

1:00:00Joe Santagato:But no, I would go there, and you know why I know it had something to do with keeping records or books or something? She had so many of those rubber fingers. I love them. I love them so much, I'd turn them inside out, and I'd look at it inside and shove my finger in it.

1:00:14Frank Alvarez:I would kind of do the same. Oh, yeah. And, like, my grandma had one for, like, just turning pages. Yeah. And then also, like, sewing.

1:00:24Joe Santagato:That would make no sense for sewing because. Well, it's to protect your finger. That's a thumbnail. Thimble. Thimble. That's it. That's what they wear. The metal ones. The caps that would go over your finger.

1:00:35Frank Alvarez:Oh.

1:00:35Joe Santagato:Yeah. Thimbles. Thumbnail is not that. YouTube.

1:00:39Frank Alvarez:Yeah. YouTube. Always work on the brain. Yeah. Yeah. It's always. I'm thinking about work.

1:00:43Joe Santagato:Can you buy those rubber fingers? Can you look up? Of course. Can you look up how much you think? Do they sell them by like the hundred? Probably.

1:00:50Frank Alvarez:Too much. Watchmakers have them too. They're like little ones though. They're like only coming up to here.

1:00:54Joe Santagato:Well, those that you like roll down, they're like finger condoms. I've seen watchmakers with those. These were like, it was like a full hood.

1:01:00Frank Alvarez:Yeah. Are the ones you were speaking of ribbed for your pleasure? Yes. Got it. Costco, we can door dash it right now for a pack of 12 for four bucks. 12 for four? It feels like that's expensive. It's kind of crazy. This one says$12 for$6, so I feel like we're getting a deal. Whoa, dude.

1:01:20Joe Santagato:Costco pretty much has the best deal in the nation.

1:01:23Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

1:01:25Joe Santagato:It's a free plug for Costco, I guess. There you go. But back to Tom Brady. This is weird, right?

1:01:33Frank Alvarez:I would do it. Would you like to know how much it costs? To what? To clone a dog? To clone your pup. Let's give a guess. Is this with insurance?

1:01:42Joe Santagato:Insurance doesn't cover this. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure Tom Brady insurance covers it. Maybe, but...

1:01:49Frank Alvarez:There are different prices for dogs and horses.

1:01:54Joe Santagato:Oh, forget it. The next Triple Crown winner. Yeah, it's going to be like, this is a clone of fucking American Pharaoh. Yeah, Secretariat. We can't name it. Seabiscuit, name another horse. War Horse. That was just a movie about a war horse.

1:02:11Frank Alvarez:Which one did you say? American Pharoah

1:02:13Joe Santagato:And then I said Secretariat Right No I said

1:02:15Frank Alvarez:Oh Jack's Revenge That's a real horse? I don't know It sounds like Pio My Sopranos

1:02:22Joe Santagato:You like that one?

1:02:24Frank Alvarez:Frankel

1:02:25Joe Santagato:You're just looking him up now I did You're an absolute cheater I would say For a dog Since we're talking doggies here Buck 20 120 ,000

1:02:41Frank Alvarez:i i'm so below that it's not even funny what are you below it i will say

1:02:47Joe Santagato:12 grand that seems see that seems if it's that hot that low that seems crazy because then more people are going to start doing it i haven't heard anyone else do this i don't know if anyone

1:02:59Frank Alvarez:has the answer to this do you know how much it costs to do ivf not cheap i know that it's expensive I just don't know how much. I don't know the exact price. And maybe it's similar to that.

1:03:08Joe Santagato:I don't know the exact price, and I don't want to sit here and even try to guess because it would be...

1:03:12Frank Alvarez:It can range from$15 ,000 to$30 ,000 for IVF.

1:03:15Joe Santagato:Oh, okay.

1:03:16Frank Alvarez:Oh, you looked up IVF? I just did a quick... That's expensive. Yeah, crazy. But I imagine it's probably a similar price range. And if it isn't, what are we doing? It's$50 ,000. $50 ,000! And to clone a horse, it's$85 ,000.

1:03:34Joe Santagato:dude those are huge animals i don't love an animal enough to pay fifty thousand dollars to

1:03:41Frank Alvarez:get them you know that the people who own like racing horses are well because they're multi

1:03:46Joe Santagato:multi multi millionaires like fucking tom brady yeah bro 50 g's to clone a fucking dog i'll be

1:03:53Frank Alvarez:honest even with pet insurance like a dog surgery like on a leg could be 12 g's like it could yeah So, like, once you rack up a couple surgeries, like, I'll just clone my dog and start from a pup. I mean, again, you have to think. No one's doing that.

1:04:07Joe Santagato:You have to think from the perspective of Tom Brady. Tom Brady has fuck you money. He has, he, he, I think, what was his Fox deal? Like,$300 million? Yeah, it was like$350 or something. $350, okay. A fucking 50K is, bing, a drop in the barrel.

1:04:23Frank Alvarez:It's probably nothing when he's on the board. They're like, yo, just do it and, like, let the paparazzi take photos.

1:04:30Joe Santagato:When are we going to... Listen, Tom Brady, I... You know I've been slighted by Tom Brady as a Jets fan, okay? When are we going to admit that outside of football, weird dude? Why? Weird dude.

1:04:43Frank Alvarez:Why?

1:04:44Joe Santagato:Kissing his adult dad on the mouth. Didn't he do that?

1:04:47Frank Alvarez:Yeah, he Super Bowl kissed him.

1:04:48Joe Santagato:Kiss of a winner. Dude, if my father even tried to kiss me on the mouth right now...

1:04:54Frank Alvarez:Which he probably would. He will at MSG. What if he just won the Super Bowl?

1:04:59Joe Santagato:I mean we're doing MSG That's the Super Bowl that we're getting to That's true If my dad tried to after the show come up to me and kiss me on the mouth I would say I'm not kidding I never want to see you or speak to you again in my entire life

1:05:09Frank Alvarez:Oh my god I'm going to literally get in his dad's ear Be like yo kiss Frank It won't happen You won't even know it's coming

1:05:18Joe Santagato:Now I know if my dad comes up to me That he's going to try to kiss me You won't remember It's my dad

1:05:24Frank Alvarez:He's going to kiss you

1:05:25Joe Santagato:No don't kiss me daddy

1:05:28Frank Alvarez:Whoa That feels like an invitation If I've ever heard one Yeah You ever kiss your dad? On the lips? Yeah I don't think so Maybe as a child Yeah

1:05:39Joe Santagato:When my kids were real young They'd kiss me on the lips

1:05:41Frank Alvarez:Yeah But When did you stop? Like

1:05:47Joe Santagato:Like Ruby turned like three And stopped there She stopped or you? She Okay

1:05:53Frank Alvarez:Full transparent

1:05:53Joe Santagato:Like she's just like I'll be like can I have a kiss? And I'll go like this And she'll just give me a kiss me her head and I'll kiss her on the head. Oh, she got sick of the, yeah, I think she, I was the problem there. Yeah.

1:06:03Frank Alvarez:I'm cutting you off.

1:06:05Joe Santagato:Yeah. You're going to be kissing your kids until fucking puberty. Probably. I know Joe, Joe is going to love his kids so damn hard. Cause it's not like, Like, you're not... It's just like a...

1:06:29Joe Santagato:You're going to kiss your kids. And you're going to, too. I will. You're going to name your kids like... You're not kissing my kids. Twisted T. Oh, true.

1:06:37Frank Alvarez:No. You're going to kiss your kids. And you will, too. I will.

1:06:41Joe Santagato:You're going to name your kids like... Twisted T, Jameson.

1:06:45Frank Alvarez:You ever think about what you would name a child? Yeah. Like, is it Antonio? It's my dad's name. What's his name?

1:06:51Joe Santagato:Ferragamo.

1:06:52Frank Alvarez:Neil. Neil? And yellow, technically, yeah. Neil? Yeah. That's what it would be. Neil. You would name a kid Neil. Isn't that your brother's name? It is my brother's name. Oh, my God, he's Neil's.

1:07:11Joe Santagato:Well, he's junior, I think. Wait, what was the other one? Wait, wait, wait. So your younger brother Was named after your father

1:07:20Frank Alvarez:Yeah we ran out of like That's how it goes After the grandfather Then yourself And then your dad Oh it was like a traditional Yeah that's how it goes

1:07:27Joe Santagato:I'm gonna go the route of They liked your kid brother More than you

1:07:31Frank Alvarez:No I was named after my dad's dad Oh And then I would name my kid After my dad It's like alternating Like my grandfather's name is Antonio And what was the other name? And Yellow is the actual name Yellow? Yellow? Wait hold on Yellow is that what you said? And yellow Like A-N And yellow? Yeah

1:07:49Joe Santagato:The way you said Wait hold on What am I hearing?

1:07:52Frank Alvarez:What are you saying? And yellow And yellow Yeah Oh And yellow Yes What the fuck is that? Angelo

1:08:02Joe Santagato:It's a great question It's Angelo brother It's not Angelo

1:08:05Frank Alvarez:But like The way that you said Neil Neil? But yo And yellow Yeah I thought he was saying Neil and Yellow And I'm like what? Neil and Yellow Such like a classic name and then Yellow Oh my god Is and Yellow like an Italian name or something? Neil apparently Was so fucking funny Neil? This is not a name you hear I had an uncle Neil My dad's gonna see these TikToks and get very upset

1:08:37Joe Santagato:Is he really? No disrespect to your dad he's a cool guy met him he could probably whoop the shit out of me and according to you he's like a trillionaire

1:08:48Joe Santagato:there is something funny about you have a beautiful child and you're like

1:08:54Frank Alvarez:neil i mean yeah listen my name's joe like it's not like i'm not you know i'm not defending or arguing well i'm just saying like i wasn't expecting that wait so you're gonna follow

1:09:07Joe Santagato:Follow the, like, naming my children. You gotta do it.

1:09:10Frank Alvarez:It's very possible. Okay.

1:09:11Joe Santagato:What about, like, do you think your brothers and sister, if they have children, they'll do the same thing? It's very possible. So, like, they'll just be, like, five Neils running around.

1:09:19Frank Alvarez:And Antonio's running around, yeah. That's crazy. What's... Where did you get the other name? Which? On Yellow. That's, like, the name. That is his name. That's the Italian, like... We call him Neil. Like... Oh! That is his name. Bro! You got that?

1:09:33Joe Santagato:Yeah, 100 million percent.

1:09:35Frank Alvarez:Your dad's name isn't Neil.

1:09:36Joe Santagato:No.

1:09:38Frank Alvarez:It's Aniela. I just didn't think I didn't want to cause this whole yellow. But the Americanized version of it is Aniel. I didn't want to cause the whole yellow thing, which we caused. What about a girl?

1:09:49Joe Santagato:It's Aniela. It's Anna. Aniela, and it's Neela.

1:09:57Joe Santagato:Neel?

1:09:59Frank Alvarez:That's crazy, dude. Yeah. I mean, I would definitely stick with the cool version. Which one's the cool version? I'd go with a different name. Not Neil. You'd go with a different name. Yeah. On yellow. That sounds like a fucking, like, Hispanic name almost, you know? So. We're close.

1:10:17Joe Santagato:I mean, Italian and Spanish. Yeah, it's close. It's, you know, right there. They're neighbors.

1:10:23Frank Alvarez:On yellow. You know, they share a fence. Neil and yellow. I was like, those are on different planets, those names. Oh, man.

1:10:33Joe Santagato:That is my pipes, TikTok. The way you said Neil

1:10:38Frank Alvarez:Yeah I was not expecting Neil Whatsoever

1:10:45Joe Santagato:I don't know Yellow That was such a who's on first moment It really was You were so gone And yellow You were just on another planet

1:10:57Frank Alvarez:I also thought there were two separate names for the longest That's fair I'm sure it's going to be a lovely child well thank you that's all I'm tapped out yeah yeah alright if you had another kid do you have a backup name you know

1:11:17Joe Santagato:I've had enough names that I suggested that Becca was just like let's try something else can you tell me

1:11:23Frank Alvarez:a name that you thought of that Becca was like are you out of your fucking mind um out of my out of my fucking mind or just like no like an immediate no yeah

1:11:35Joe Santagato:I honestly don't think there were any like that Okay There were some that we came up with And like talked about And were like This is gonna be it And then as the reality of having another child came in We were just like Alright we're not gonna do that

1:11:48Frank Alvarez:Right yeah

1:11:49Joe Santagato:Like this is not a joke These are three names That were actually Like in contention Okay For both of my daughters Yeah Or before we knew the gender

1:12:03Frank Alvarez:uh loki was seriously on the table i knew there was gonna be one uh thanos was seriously on the shut the fuck up no you were gonna name your child thanos yeah what would you call him her thanos

1:12:18Joe Santagato:oh thanos it was on it was considered it was in contention what is i feel bad for laughing at Eel! Thanos is bananas! And Valkyrie.

1:12:32Frank Alvarez:I remember Valkyrie for some reason.

1:12:35Joe Santagato:Well, it was because the summer of 2018, I had played the God of War game. This is crazy. And I then read a book on Norse mythology, and I was captivated by it. I loved it so much. And Valkyrie, I thought, was just such a cool name because you can go with Val. you can go Kyrie you know so Valkyrie was

1:13:01Frank Alvarez:you have a daughter named Valkyrie and you call her Kyrie

1:13:05Joe Santagato:so Valkyrie was seriously on the table and then literally as we like found out that Becca was pregnant with both Ruby and Maeve it was just like okay we're not doing Valkyrie

1:13:23Frank Alvarez:how

1:13:27Frank Alvarez:Thanos is so Are you serious? I swear to god Frank, Thanos is so funny I swear How Like What was the thought process? You think it just sounds cool? So Loki, Thanos, and Valkyrie You were just watching Thor one day? He was watching Endgame I mean

1:13:44Joe Santagato:Well no, I explained where Valkyrie came from Loki I think just sounds cool I like Loki Loki sounds cool And also like the god of mischief Like it could be like a little He could be like a little prankster I like Loki I think that's like a popular one And then Thanos I think just sounded sick

1:14:04Frank Alvarez:It's just a giant That's a tough one I mean, fuck you, Neil You can't compare those things Neil! Yeah Neil and Thanos It's my son, Vortex

1:14:17Joe Santagato:I mean, there are people that do that I didn't I mean, I think it's like those people that do like this is my daughter khaleesi you know and it's just like a blonde hair blue-eyed kid that was born in 2016 yeah you know that's a prettier name than thanos and there's also greek meaning behind thanos all right i think it's the like everyone is going to think of a giant no it's like a god of something it might be now that i think about it might be a god of death which is why we might have pivoted away also because it's the god of death too like oh what does your name mean it is the god of death right immortal and and the person the personification of death of death yeah yeah that word beat me well that's a rough name yeah there was other like we looked to mythology for like i think um at one point we looked at like venus venus was on there Athena, I think, was on there at one point.

1:15:15Joe Santagato:I think I had suggested Scarlet. But then Becca was just like, there's only one Scarlet, and it's Scarlet Johansson, and we're not naming our daughter after Scarlet Johansson.

1:15:25Frank Alvarez:Scarlet Fever. That is the fever. Were there any name suggestions that had nothing to do with Marvel? Well, they're named what they are. Ruby and Maeve had nothing to do with Marvel.

1:15:38Joe Santagato:I think those are great names, too. I think Avera was on there. ruby what is ruby ruby what ruby willow oh fucking incredible i mean yeah and it's such a ruby mave robin robin oh you snuck one in there well no that wasn't even done it wasn't even he's like oh mave bruce wayne

1:16:03Frank Alvarez:Maeve Poison Ivy he's like oh it's Maeve James Gunn

1:16:10Joe Santagato:no that wasn't even done for that reason that was done because like we were going back and forth Becca is very much so like I need to like we can have the names figured out but like once I hold the child the feeling of the name is going to be like this is a Ruby this is a Neil you know Yeah. So she, I think. It's the best.

1:16:36Joe Santagato:I think at the time we were going back and forth on a couple from, well, Ruby because, well, Miles is Miles Robert after both of his grandparents. Both of his grandfathers were Robert. And then Ruby Willow was, Becca and I bonded over, like, we love willow trees, like weeping willows. And when she was pregnant, we went to Lancaster, Pennsylvania. We drove by and we found – it was literally like out of a fucking Hallmark card. It was like a bench under a beautiful willow tree. We pulled over. We sat under it. And we were just like, Willow's a nice name. We thought about it as her first name. And then Maeve was Maeve Robin because at the time we were watching a lot of like Robin Williams movies.

1:17:26Joe Santagato:And it just brought a lot of joy into our life. and then uh miles one day had like he was like learning to read and he had a book on birds and it was like oh this is a swallow this is a dove and it was like it got to robin and we're sitting in bed and we have a picture of him holding up the book because we were like we couldn't believe it and he was like robin that's a really nice name and that would go he said something like it would go good as a first or middle name and we were like well that's the end Yeah, so then after that it was like It was either Robin as a first name or middle name And we went with that

1:18:01Frank Alvarez:Nice Cute Cute names, good names Great names Man, really glad you didn't go with Thanos Be honest Yeah, no, I probably Like, my reaction would kind of be like No, it isn't No You know Until Becca introduced them I wouldn't believe you I wouldn't either Like, I think he's fucking

1:18:22Joe Santagato:Yeah, not even if I sent you a picture of like the birth certificate it no it's like i wouldn't do anything this has been doctor yeah i wouldn't do it by a doctor thanos thanos iron man alvarez yeah like i mean where do you even if you said that your kid's

1:18:36Frank Alvarez:name is thanos i would i i wouldn't i don't know i would have a list in her phone i wonder if she

1:18:42Joe Santagato:still has it she had it definitely of like potential names she was in on thanos i think i think that was one where she was just like i'm trying to be nice i don't know i don't know about

1:18:50Frank Alvarez:Well, let's just think of others and then we'll come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

1:18:54Joe Santagato:Like, okay, we all have ideas here.

1:18:57Frank Alvarez:Let's open up.

1:18:58Joe Santagato:All right, no idea is terrible. But we tried to go with Vs and R sounds because they work really well with Alvarez. You know, like. Yeah, yeah. So. You want it to be phonetically. Yeah, we liked it. So like Santa Gato is going to be like T's and G's and S's, you know?

1:19:18Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

1:19:18Joe Santagato:You got to think of the punchier letters in there. Prisco. P's would be good. Like Priscilla. That would be a nice name for a girl.

1:19:26Frank Alvarez:Priscilla Prisco. That's too close. Really? Priscilla Prisco. P-R-I. P-R-I. That's tough.

1:19:32Joe Santagato:It's like Julia Ghoulia. Okay. What's that from? Excuse me.

1:19:38Frank Alvarez:Oh, Wedding Singer. I thought you would get that. Yeah, Wedding Singer. I pulled that out of my... No, no.

1:19:42Joe Santagato:I know what you're referencing. I'm just saying like, excuse me. Like you're fucking shooting down Priscilla. Take it easy on Priscilla. Priscilla Prisco

1:19:48Frank Alvarez:Only when it's close to Prisco

1:19:50Joe Santagato:Prisco would be like Prisc So P-R's and C's Would work best I'm confused with this system Catherine Prisco would be nice

1:19:58Frank Alvarez:Catherine Neil A yellow A yellow A blue Oh man Well That's all I got You said that twice now

1:20:13Joe Santagato:Yeah I did We got more in you Let's squeeze some more out of you

1:20:17Frank Alvarez:that's kind of crazy it's all you no oh i was gonna i'll watch you yeah well jesus all right well frank where can they find you

1:20:27Joe Santagato:leave frank alvarez on all forms of social media go check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard and uh yeah we're happy

1:20:33Frank Alvarez:yep uh you can go follow me at joe santagato and go follow the show at the basement yard and you can find me at aunt prisco on instagram yeah and that is all we'll see you guys next Nice, he got it in. I'm always like, blah.

1:21:00Frank Alvarez:Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light.

1:21:05Joe Santagato:And slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross.