#536 - Baiting The Jonas Brothers

7:53Joe Santagato:I'm Joe Santagato. Text me. I literally just sent my phone number.

7:57Frank Alvarez:And then the next morning, I remembered that I did that. So I went back to the DM and I was like, that was aggressive. Was it like he obviously didn't text you? No. And I also, but I did, my second message to him was, that was aggressive. And then, like, that was it. But I don't even know if he's read it. I don't know. He hasn't.

8:17Joe Santagato:Okay.

8:18Frank Alvarez:There's been no contact. But there will be.

8:20Joe Santagato:I mean, can you imagine you just get a text? It's like, yo, what's up? It's Joe Jonas. That'd be so funny. I actually would text him back and be like, all right, you're crazier than me.

8:29Frank Alvarez:Now you're nuts. You don't know me.

8:31Joe Santagato:Yeah. now you're a little crazy i mean the jonas brothers are are in their uh you know they're a new era very playful era where they're just kind of getting after it on social media they're on tour the jlbo you know so i think it would make sense if they're doubling down on it being relatable fun guys yeah you know i think if we're being honest i probably have more in line and and and more uh what's the word i'm looking for here in common with the jonas brothers than you Oh. I mean, you were not a Disney kid growing up. What? I used to watch Disney Channel like it was going out of style. How do you know that I didn't do that?

9:09Joe Santagato:Did you watch Camp Rock? No. There we go. That's how I know. I, at one point, had a haircut more similar to the Jonas Brothers than you did. Yeah. I could sing my ass off. Did any of it? Well, no. Nick buzzed his head once. When he was older and when you buzzed your head. Ironic. I think not. That'll be a chapter in your book. Yeah. I don't think the Jonas Brothers ever wore double-breasted button-up shirts for Easter.

9:39Frank Alvarez:Well, the thing is I'm a visionary. I also wore a belt that day. I mean. Pull a picture up. I can't access it immediately, but there is a photo of me that I think my mom took. Double-breasted white t-shirt tucked into a pair of jeans, and I'm wearing a belt that looks like Santa Claus would wear. Yeah. It was like a big black belt buckle. And it was just like a square. And I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? You were a visionary, all right. Yeah. You know, I should have been visioning myself down the barrel of a gun.

10:14Joe Santagato:Too much? Too crazy? A lot of much. A lot of much.

10:16Frank Alvarez:I mean, I'm shooting off the ends of my phone.

10:17Joe Santagato:We're trying to get Joe Jonas on here. Not that kind of talk that's going to get the Joe Bros to come hang out with us. I mean, come on. Listen. Yeah. All right. So what could we do to make our show more Jonas Brothers safe and fun? Safe? Yeah. Because I don't think we're not safe. I think we're pretty safe, but I'm saying, like, we got to remember. We got to remember. These are the Joe Bros. You know, these are the – I'll tell you right now, I'll ask a lot about the Promise Rings. Yeah. I'm asking a ton about the Promise Rings. Come on, dude. Those are for show. I think they've outright said, like, those were for show.

10:54Joe Santagato:I think Nick came out and he was like, yeah, I don't think any of those were real. Who's that?

10:59Frank Alvarez:Whose voice is that? Who was that, by the way? That was Nick Jonas. That was Nick Jonas? I think so. Do his voice again?

11:07Joe Santagato:I don't think I can redo it. Oh, I think you can. I mean, all right, all right. Ask me a question as an interviewer. I'll be Nick Jonas. So we see that you guys are wearing promise rings.

11:15Frank Alvarez:What's that about?

11:16Joe Santagato:Yeah, I mean, none of the promise rings are real.

11:23Frank Alvarez:And listen, Nick That was him That wasn't me

11:26Joe Santagato:Well, you Yeah Decided to be too forward With Joe Jonas Which I would never do, Joe By the way That's I took a shot And it is what it is Shoot for the clouds Laying amongst the stars Is that what they say? Nope, it's the opposite Okay, whatever

11:41Frank Alvarez:Or you shoot for the sun Shoot for the moon

11:43Joe Santagato:Shoot for the moon Laying amongst the stars Aren't the stars further away? I think they're a lot further away Shoot for the stars Shoot for the stars, land amongst the clouds. That's actually a good consolation. You're not getting very far. Now that I think about it.

11:57Frank Alvarez:Do you know what it is? Shoot for the stars, land on the moon, something like that. Wait, why do I want to land on the moon? You're in the same boat as us. You said it so definitively, we don't know either.

12:04Joe Santagato:Why would I want to land on the moon? It's a nothing dust rock. Yeah. It's high up. Yeah, but the stars are higher. Way higher. Yeah. Come on, brother. What are you talking about? I think we can make this, us, more palatable for the Jonas Brothers. So let's start again. So I'll be Joe Jonas. How do you think this is going to go? I'll be Joe Jonas, and you're going to work through the appropriate way to approach. Because you clearly went in a bit of an aggressive route. Yeah. And you need to redo it. Dude, we're just two guys hanging out.

12:33Frank Alvarez:I gave a fuck with the guy.

12:34Joe Santagato:Well, you're not just two guys. That's Joe Jonas. I know. That's Joe Bro. That's burning up.

12:37Frank Alvarez:Bro, he's a guy from New Jersey.

12:39Joe Santagato:That's DNCE. They're from New Jersey, right? Cake by the ocean, you know? Cake by the ocean. They are from New Jersey. That's right. So I got more in line with the Jonas Brothers again than you because I live in New Jersey now. This isn't a competition, Frank. You're right. It's not. Where are you at?

12:52Frank Alvarez:I think you're playing it wrong. I would play it as I don't even want them on the show. Tell us. Tell us. Yeah. I don't even want them. Can I ask you something?

13:00Joe Santagato:How many times have you spoken to Joe Jonas on social media?

13:04Frank Alvarez:Only one of us has Joe Brode.

13:06Joe Santagato:Let's get that out of the way.

13:07Frank Alvarez:He sent them his phone number.

13:08Joe Santagato:He did. I said that was incorrect. It was a choice. I made a decision. So I'll be Joe Jonas. You be you. Okay? And we're going to work out the appropriate way to approach. One second. What were you going to say?

13:22Frank Alvarez:What's the appropriate thing to do? I was just, I don't even want them here. I don't even want them to come on the show. So how are we going to get them on the show if that's your attitude? Oh, he wants to like bait them. He wants to, this is what he likes.

13:33Joe Santagato:He likes to edge people. You want to like Joe, you want to, you want to edge Joe Bro Bait them? You want to edge the Jonas Brothers, huh?

13:39Frank Alvarez:You want to, so I should be like, oh yes, whatever. Yeah, just don't even follow that really cool.

13:45Joe Santagato:Oh see. I'm not built like that I'm not built to be that cool like you guys. I would just be like first of all. I did the opposite Yeah, that's right. So you know what you did do that?

13:54Frank Alvarez:You know what you did do though?

13:55Joe Santagato:You shoot for the moon even if you miss you'll land amongst the stars. No, you won't that's not how that's so space That's what I know that's what there are no stars between us and the moon Neil Armstrong Neil said that? What does he know? Neil should know better. He should know. Yeah. He knows there's no stars.

14:14Frank Alvarez:He's getting up there in age. Is he even still alive, this guy? Neil's got to be down in the ground, no? Oh, sorry. No, Neil said shoot for the stars, but if you happen to miss, shoot for the moon instead. That's even dumber.

14:25Joe Santagato:I mean, if you shoot in one direction, you can hit both, potentially.

14:29Frank Alvarez:Oh, and the cloud thing, that was a Kanye take. Oh. You've been following him around. What was that? Wait, what was that? Who said that? So if you fall, land on a cloud, that was what you said. I didn't say anything. Oh, yeah, that's from a song. Following Kanye. That's a Kanye song. That was awesome. Good for you. Good for you, Frankie.

14:45Joe Santagato:Joey said that one.

14:47Frank Alvarez:Platform him.

14:49Joe Santagato:I think I am going to remove the platform for now. Can we do this now? Can I be Joe Jonas again? Yeah, I don't know what you're trying to do. I'm going to be Joe Jonas. I'm going to say my comment on the picture. You're going to respond, and then you're going to approach me in what would be a better way to approach Joe Jonas and the rest of the Jonas Brothers. There's three to come on the show. All right, you ready? There's four. Well, I mean, there are more brothers, I think. I forgot the other one's name. Frank. More in line with what I have in common with the Jonas Brothers. Franklin, I believe.

15:26Well, that's his name.

15:28Joe Santagato:I almost slipped up. I almost slipped up. Almost. But I called myself. You're going to say something negative about his name. I wasn't going to say his shitty name sucks. I was just. Wow, that's crazy. Franklin, I would never say that about you. This guy's saying that. That's insane. Anytime I hear Franklin, I just think of, oh, neither of you guys have seen Arrested Development. God damn it. Well, I think of the turtle. And I fucked with the turtle. Yeah, I didn't like the turtle. Hey, it's Franklin. Yeah, whatever. All right. I'm Joe Jonas. You say. What did you say in your comment? You did the whole, like, are we going to hang out or.

16:00Joe Santagato:That's what you did. Yeah, I did. Like, or what, Joe? Oh, yeah. So go ahead and say that part, and then I'll be Joe, and I'll respond.

16:08Frank Alvarez:Are we going to hang out? Ha, yes. Okay, I'm done with this. I'm sick of this. I'm already done. Point being, you know, you take your shots. You see what happens. I mean, we haven't killed it. We don't know that it's dead.

16:25Joe Santagato:It could come in at any time. I mean, here's the thing about the Jonas Brothers. I think that they like doing fun, quirky stuff.

16:33Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

16:33Joe Santagato:And I do think at our core, we are fun, quirky guys. Okay. Like us and them. We all have that in common. So Jonas Brothers. Just a good East Coast quirk. Jonas Brothers. You guys want to – you like having fun. You like laughing. You like talking. You like reminiscing. That's what we do. That's what the show is. So this is the Basement Yard's official pitch. Oh, okay. we are inviting rolling out the red carpet the j-o-b-r-o to the joe bros to come be on the basement yard yeah i think it would be a great great episode we can laugh we can talk we could sing we could just do a whole episode singing hey there will be singing on and and i think it would i think it's gonna come out of me and you too and i think it would be a good time so listen joe bros no pressure on you but if you don't come you kind of you're gonna lose your street appeal

17:30Frank Alvarez:joe just let me know just text me bro it's fine you'll see i think it's in there you know whatever's in there you know what i'm gonna do yeah you know what i tried to do to unsend it they don't let you do that on tiktok i've also never sent a dm on tiktok before that was my first one oh for one uh and you can't unsend it so that here's what i'm gonna try to delete it and it was like delete for you i was like well that's not gonna do anything here's where you messed up here's where

17:56Joe Santagato:you messed up oh i know where i messed up there's a clear path that i you went straight to the top you tried to you try to penetrate at the the the hardest part of a mountain i don't like i don't like the term i'm gonna message franklin jonas no you can't now and i'm gonna get in that way no i'll be like hey my buddy messaged your brother he's a real piece of shit first of all That's not good. Now we're double penetrating the brothers. I'm looking at his followers. I guess I'll message Kevin. Stop this! So Franklin Jonas has, what is that, 603 ,000 followers. Joe Jonas on Instagram has 12.7. What's he more likely to see?

18:38Joe Santagato:Who's more likely to see this? I think if we can get in with Franklin. You just said his name was a piece of shit. You said that! You said that. Why would I insult my own name, dude? We've got the same name. If I just relate to him on a frank-to-frank basis, first of all, this could happen. This is spiraled. Spiraled how? Spiraled up. Spiral Mountain. Banjo-Kazooie. What are these words? What is that, the video game?

19:07Frank Alvarez:Yes. Haven't played that in a very long time. You should play it. Well, I don't have... I'm 64 because it's not 1912. I do 1912. 1912. Whenever I think of a year, I always say 1912.

19:22Joe Santagato:Why is that? Well, that's when the Titanic went down, so obviously it was a big year.

19:26Frank Alvarez:Was it the 12th? And the war of 1912.

19:29Joe Santagato:What the hell was that? It was a war. Is that the year the Titanic went down? If I got that off rip, I am impressed with myself. You answered that in the Jeopardy one. I think it was 13. Am I crazy? 1912. Oh, it was 12th. I know the years of tragic events. Okay. Name another one. 1941. Who's that?

19:51Frank Alvarez:Pearl Harbor. Yeah, that was a rough one.

19:54Joe Santagato:2001.

19:55Frank Alvarez:It's also when the Oreo was invented. When? 1912. The Oreo was invented? Big year for Cookie, bad year for Ships. Bad year for Ships. Also about to be a good time for everyone. The Roaring Twenties, and then a very bad time.

20:12Joe Santagato:Yeah, it was a pretty bad time for a lot of people. A lot of people Bro,

20:19Frank Alvarez:what do you think the first Oreo tasted like in 1912? It had to suck

20:24Joe Santagato:I'm not going to say it I don't want to offend Oreo Why? They're not even the same people That's fair Probably like real chocolate

20:35Frank Alvarez:I thought you were going to be offending like 1912 No

20:40Joe Santagato:I'm offending current Oreo That's great I love Oreos, don't get me wrong Yeah What is it? I don't know. I don't know what it is.

20:48Frank Alvarez:It is a brown dust. Black dust? Brown, brother. What time was the last time you had an Oreo?

20:52Joe Santagato:I mean, they're black. Jet black. Yeah, yeah. It is very. I mean. I love an Oreo, though. Wait, Oreos were the first big cookie?

21:02Frank Alvarez:Nah, chocolate chip came on the scene.

21:04Joe Santagato:Have you heard that McDonald's spicy chicken McNuggets made with spicy tempura and a blend of aged cayenne are back? Remember to grab a few extra napkins For a limited time at participating McDonald's

21:42Frank Alvarez:Ooh, those are a good fucking cookie, bro. No, I don't like that. I love Famous Anus.

21:46Joe Santagato:Famous Anus can suck on my anus.

21:48Frank Alvarez:Amos. Amos. Not anus. I said anus.

21:50Joe Santagato:Yeah, no, no.

21:51Frank Alvarez:I think I stand by. I think we...

21:54Joe Santagato:Green. Tate's. Mad good. Nah, that's all right. What? I have peaked. I think we peaked at cookies when we got Chips Ahoy candy blasts. The best.

22:04Frank Alvarez:But there's other ones out there.

22:06Joe Santagato:Ooh. Oh, oh, the... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm getting over being sick. Okay. The fucking Keebler Elf. They make some pretty good ones.

22:19Frank Alvarez:Did we say Entenmann's? Entenmann's makes... Entenmann's. Entenmann's only makes good like coffee cakes. Oh, man, those tiny chocolate chips. I kind of fuck with them.

22:27Joe Santagato:Yeah, I used to put them in a bowl. No, little bites.

22:29Frank Alvarez:Get the fuck. Actually, I like those muffins.

22:32Joe Santagato:I mean, we've talked about this, and I'll say it again. The best cookie I've ever had were those ones that you'd get at like an after school program in New York City where it was like the cinnamon raisin with like the white frosting on top.

22:43Frank Alvarez:Yeah, the raisin or oatmeal, frosted oatmeal.

22:48Joe Santagato:Oh, I don't know what they were, but let me tell you. There was another chocolate chip. They sent a message to your parents and told them that it's time for fun.

22:57Frank Alvarez:I also, all the like cookie companies now that they make like crazy, like they're like cakes basically, when they do a chocolate chip cookie, it sucks. Like they're like cake and like dumbass shit that they make that like, Like, when I'm in the mood for a cookie like that, that's a great job. But the regular ones that they make, I'm like, ugh.

23:14Joe Santagato:You know what sucks?

23:17Frank Alvarez:Chocolate, chocolate chip cookies.

23:19Joe Santagato:Too much chocolate. I don't like when people like triple dark midnight cake. I'm like, bro, chill. Yeah. I mean, I'm not a big fan of sponge cake as it is. Oh, I like a sponge.

23:29Frank Alvarez:Like a fucking wet fucking, like a cake. I want to just press it down and let it spit and squirt. You know, like a wet ass cake. Oh, my God.

23:39Joe Santagato:How do we even unpack that one?

23:41Frank Alvarez:You ever look at a cake and, like, you just go like this because you can see the light dancing off of, like, the sponge part? That's my favorite. I love a wet-ass cake. I don't like sponge cake. I don't like a triple chocolate type shit, though.

23:51Joe Santagato:I just think sponge cake is overrated. I think that all sponge cake is the same. You've never had a sponge cake and be like, that's the best sponge cake. It's all the same. It's all the same. They all use box cakes.

24:02Frank Alvarez:I mean, it's not all the same because there's stuff that you could put in the cake and also the icing is different and flavor different.

24:08Joe Santagato:Joey. I'll tell you this. One of the things I learned from Jon Bon Jovi was that it's all the same. Only the names will change. They literally are the exact same cake. They just add different shit on top of it and different hats, baby. Yeah, that's every food. No. Cakes. Cakes is all cakes. You like ice cream cake. I do love ice cream cake. Don't get me started. That's a different cake. No, but it's not sponge cake. I'm saying all sponge cakes is the same. They don't taste the same. Yes, they do. They're literally different flavors. Sometimes they do different flavors and stuff like that. That would make them different.

24:41Joe Santagato:No, but it's all the same. How is that the same if it's different? Only the names will change. How is it the same if it's different? Because it's all from sponge cake. All cakes are sponge cake. Except for ice cream cakes, which are, they've made their own cakes.

24:56Frank Alvarez:I don't even know how to. So you think things that are different flavors are not different?

25:01Joe Santagato:They are in a little bit of a sense, but they are the same. Why? It's true. It's not true. I'm shocked that you don't agree with me on this one. All cakes are the same. All cakes are the same, but they have a little difference. It's like books. If you read one book, you read them all. That's even dumber than what he said. All books are books. All books are books, but they just have different little words in them. Which would make them different books.

25:26Frank Alvarez:Am I going insane? Call my therapist.

25:28Joe Santagato:Book a session for today. But listen to what you said. That it makes them different books, but they're all books. What point are you making, Frank? That doesn't that doesn't that's not the conversation books or books you're okay all books or books are you? Our dictionary and Harry Potter are books they are the same. So then cakes are cakes. Yes, that's what I said So ice cream cake is a cake. No, but ice cream cake is not the same Ice cream cake is only a cake because they are referencing its layering and its presentation for events and celebrations

25:59Frank Alvarez:That's insane like a graphic novel a graphic novel exactly You guys are rage baiting me.

26:07Joe Santagato:No, I'm not. I'm being serious. All books are books.

26:11Frank Alvarez:You're baiting me.

26:11Joe Santagato:All books are books. Frankie is a master at it. I am not a master baiter. You guys are rage baiting me. You like that one.

26:18Frank Alvarez:I need to protect my peace right now with you guys because it's really pissing me off.

26:21Joe Santagato:No, I do think, though, that all books are the same.

26:27Frank Alvarez:All books are the same book. I mean, so the Bible is the same as. See, don't do that. the any other religious book i'm glad he didn't name them because i was i was afraid he was gonna

26:39Joe Santagato:why what's wrong with naming religious books because you're trying to violence bait me what you're trying to bait the violence against me

26:50Frank Alvarez:sometimes you do this thing where you say a sentence and it means nothing and it just short circuits me and that was one of them and i'm like i don't even know what to say to that I got nothing. I mean, we could sword fight. We could sword fight. Or we can get to these. Frank, don't do it. That thing's going to spark like crazy. And here we are.

27:16Frank Alvarez:You didn't turn it on.

27:19Joe Santagato:I don't need to turn it on for it to be deadly.

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29:41Joe Santagato:yes what was that? I don't know I didn't realize I had to go so quickly also guys patreon.com slash the basement yard thank you guys for an incredible 2025. We are so excited for 2026 and a big part of that is all the love and support that you guys have given us on Patreon. Looking back and how much growth there has been on that platform individually is kind of just astonishing since the show, since I joined on the show back in 2020 and then all the way up until now. We love you and we thank you and we're so appreciative of all the love and all the support. So if you want to join Patreon, you can get these weekly episodes one week in advance for free.

30:19Joe Santagato:Not for free, excuse me, with that first tier if you go and sign up at patreon.com slash the basement yard. And then if you sign up for that second tier, you get weekly episodes every single Friday. So you can start and end your week with the basement yard. And if you want to do it and save yourself a couple extra bucks, go to patreon.com slash the basement yard on a web browser. If you use a smart app, they're going to take extra money from you. So do it on a web browser. You'll be able to get the Patreon membership and save yourself some money. There's a ton of backlog episodes on there and things that are just for the patrons' eyes only, especially the little MSG documentary we did, especially years and years and years of episodes.

30:55Joe Santagato:So go check it out at patreon.com slash the basement yard. And lastly, tbytourmerch.com. What is that? I mentioned it on the last episode. You might not remember that I said that, but I'm going to say it again just to clean your ears out. It's where you could get some leftover tour merch that we have from the tour this year. It's very limited quantities, so we can't confirm what is available except for there are some things on there that you'll see will say sold out, but go check it out right now. tbytourmerch.com. If you weren't able to get it the first time or if you weren't able to come to a show and something catches your eye, you'll be able to possibly get it there.

31:26Joe Santagato:So go check it out. Thank you. We appreciate it. And let's get back to it.

31:32Frank Alvarez:What's those defense that you're doing? Why would you ever defend like this? Well, your hand was like this, and then you had that, yeah.

31:39Joe Santagato:Well, I'm using my other energy with this hand to push your energy out. I really think I'm going to do a sword fight with you after this. Me? Yep. Or Ant. I think Ant would be a good sword fighter. Are you a good swordsman? The best.

31:53Frank Alvarez:That's not confident.

31:54Joe Santagato:Well, the best sounds intense.

31:56Frank Alvarez:Are you bringing that?

31:57Joe Santagato:No, I'll borrow one of the big ones. Which, again, by the way, the fact that you two got the big ones and I got the small ones seems wildly disrespectful.

32:04Frank Alvarez:I don't know if you'd be able to handle the ones we have.

32:07Joe Santagato:You see that shit? I mean, all right, fine. Bring your big one, and I'll show you why this little one. I don't need a big one. Okay? Okay? This, because guess what? might be smaller but it works it's just as deadly it is much bigger much as a stretch it's about the same not a yeah pretty pretty commonly um i didn't even tell you the other day i had i wanted to pull my hair out because i was in the steam room excuse me the sauna uh and And there was a, I walked in on like a 65 year old white woman talking with another person. Co-ed sauna. It was a co-ed one because the single ed was out. Yes? No.

32:55Joe Santagato:Fully clothed. Everyone was fully clothed. Myself included.

33:01Frank Alvarez:Okay.

33:02Joe Santagato:And I walk in and she's talking about, she's like, yeah, we vacation. I'm not, this is exactly how it went. She's like, we vacation in Barbados and we love to go down there and live like the locals. And I was like, oh, fuck. How is this going to happen? Yeah. And she was like, we go down there and we live like the locals on our catamaran. And I was like, OK, well, now you lost it. Wait, is that a boat? Yeah. Big. It's a it's a it's like a rich person.

33:28Frank Alvarez:Is that like the like it's got a net in the back or whatever?

33:31Joe Santagato:I don't know if there are nets on the back, but you can look up catamaran. Don't ask me to spell it. I know what it is. But then she's like, oh, we love living like a local on our catamaran. We eat seafood and then we go and we listen to – she goes, we go listen to live reggae.

33:46Frank Alvarez:Reggae.

33:46Joe Santagato:Reggae. And I wanted to pull my hair out and put it down my own throat and choke on it. It was so fucking bad.

33:52Frank Alvarez:And she's just doing this like in the – she's like with her friend in the sauna.

33:57Joe Santagato:She was talking to like another old, rich, white man.

34:00Frank Alvarez:It does have the thing. All right, you're right.

34:03Joe Santagato:Well, not that one, but – I mean – That one does. It has the net. Yeah. What is, listen, if you can afford it, good for you. Joe probably will be there soon, if not already there. But like. It's a cool boat. It's cool. I don't fuck with boats. You don't fuck with boats? Don't fuck with boats. Don't fuck with the ocean. You wouldn't get on a boat? Probably not. Like a yacht party? Nah. But they don't go like out to the. Where do they go? Before you say anything, where do they go?

34:32Frank Alvarez:Not far from land. But on what? Water. Which. Frank, you've been on water before.

34:39Joe Santagato:Yeah, lakes. I'm cool with lakes, brother. You don't see yachts on lakes. But why are you cool with lakes? Because you have a good understanding of what's in that lake compared to what's in the ocean. Because guess what could not get you in a lake? Great whites. Yeah. Yeah. Guess what you could mostly see the bottom of?

34:58Frank Alvarez:I can't see three inches.

34:59Joe Santagato:I mean, I'm saying like, but like you could, you have a sense of like how deep this water is. Bro, the ocean? What? I feel like, you know, you never jumped in the ocean off a boat. Nope. No, I have not. And watch, I'm going to do you one further. Yeah. I ain't going to. No? No way, baby. What if you were in, like, Europe, like the Mediterranean? There's so much cool stuff on land. Yeah.

35:23Frank Alvarez:But I'm saying, like, if you're on a boat.

35:25Joe Santagato:I'll put my feet in, like, on the beach where I can see my feet and see anything that would approach. But, like, if you're telling me we're going, I'm not even saying far offshore. You're saying we're going... Not far. 50 yards. 50 yards. 49 yards, too many, baby. Let me tell you, I am not doing it. You ever jump in the ocean?

35:48Frank Alvarez:I went tubing. That's pretty far out. In the ocean?

35:52Joe Santagato:That's crazy, dude. That's bananas. That is insane. It's pretty far out. You fall in that, it's a problem. Wait, you were tubing in the ocean? Yeah. The most fun part of tubing is falling off. What's the ocean? What ocean?

36:04Frank Alvarez:Pacific. No, but where were you? Oh, I was in Aruba for one. Aruba? In Sicily for one. Jamaica? You were tubing in Sicily? They do that? Yeah, that was a mistake. Why was that a mistake? Because we saw where we could be going out, and in my head I said, well, as long as we're not going past that rock, because that rock looks really far. And then we went probably 50 yards past it, and great white's everywhere. Like big great white thing. And you're on a tube? I'm on a banana boat. You're on a little banana boat.

36:37Joe Santagato:You literally look like a snack. You're on your knees.

36:41Frank Alvarez:And there's great whites around.

36:43Joe Santagato:I don't think you've been on a proper banana boat. You sit on a banana boat. You straddle it like a giant wang.

36:48Frank Alvarez:You're straddling. You're straddling. You're kind of like kneed up. Yeah.

36:52Joe Santagato:I mean, the way that we used to ride banana boats is you would be on your knees. But like, I can't believe I said that. There's no way of getting out of this. Yeah. It was scary. But that's crazy because they say like fluttering and like making a scene is what attracts sharks because they're like, oh, something's over there. I'm going to go fucking get it.

37:12Frank Alvarez:When we fell off, I said, let me go on first, back on, and I'll help everybody up. I just had to get up there.

37:18Joe Santagato:Smart, man. Yeah.

37:18Frank Alvarez:I didn't want to be in that water.

37:20Joe Santagato:Yeah. Dude, because that's the hardest part is waiting for them to come back and get you. That could feel like an eternity. Hell no.

37:29Frank Alvarez:I'm like well so I'm in agreement like that's crazy I think that's a little nuts but I when I was in fucking Mallorca I went swimming in like a thing but it's like it's open ocean and then there's like a little cove and some of it you can touch the bottom and you can see whatever but then somebody had goggles so I put the goggles on and there's mad fish everywhere it's fire like you don't think that's cool to see no No. Very salty.

38:01Joe Santagato:Yes.

38:01Frank Alvarez:Very salty.

38:02Joe Santagato:But I would go in the Dead Sea. That one I would go into. Is there anything in there? No, because the salt content is too high. Literally why they call it the Dead Sea, because nothing can live in it. Ah. That would be cool, because you could, like, float. Yeah. It's so salty, you can just chill. I wonder if you'd be interested in a sensory deprivation tank. People, like, lose their minds in those things, don't they?

38:22Frank Alvarez:Not that I've heard. You start seeing faces, maybe. I definitely, like, hallucinated a little bit. What's up? Well, hallucinated is like a very aggressive way to say that like my I'm. You're just in complete blackness and you're just kind of darkness and you're floating in like salinated water, right? It's yeah, you're like floating and it's the perfect temperature of your body. So it feels like you're just floating. Is that not terrifying?

38:47Joe Santagato:Like, why are we putting ourselves in these circumstances that are just kind of freaking us out? I think it's like relaxation.

38:52Frank Alvarez:Like, I find it to be a little relaxing. You both said you hallucinated a little bit. But hallucinated was aggressive. I meant that like I can kind of – it felt like I was seeing stuff, but not like actual stuff, like little things.

39:05Joe Santagato:So it's pitch black and I'm basically floating in nothingness and I can't hear anything. That's also terrifying because what if I start to drown? You can't. What if they start – what if it's like a – If they start filling it up? If they start filling it up with water. No, you can get out at any time. But why? How? You just sit up and open up the thing. But what if someone locks a thing and they start filling it up with water?

39:28Frank Alvarez:Well, no one can get in your room.

39:30Joe Santagato:How do you know? What? It's a room, brother. Yes, they can.

39:32Frank Alvarez:No, so the one that I went to, it's like you walk into a room and you lock the door behind you. You have to take a shower and then you get into the tub.

39:40Joe Santagato:I need a shower to get in this water?

39:42Frank Alvarez:Yeah. Because, I mean, it's a nice thing. But you get in and then you close the thing. They also had a light show or a guided meditation, but I was like, I just want full nothing.

39:56Joe Santagato:I think that, like, in those moments, I mean, you see how I am when we go to these Airbnbs on tour. I lock, I, like, barricade my doors and shit like that. Like, I am fully preparing that, like, oh, someone can come in here and just start filling this up with water and then I'm going.

40:09Frank Alvarez:But they can't, like, the water is like this. It's like being in a tub. Yeah, but how big is the enclosure? It's enclosure? What do you mean? How big is the enclosure? Like, how much room is between you and the ceiling? Yeah. You could probably touch it. Okay. what happens if they start filling it up with water? It would like pour, like it's not deep. Like the water is like this deep. He's not getting me. That's like you saying like, but how would they get in and start filling it up? I don't know,

40:37Joe Santagato:but I got to think about this stuff. But how would I even,

40:39Frank Alvarez:I'm confused how that's a worry.

40:40Joe Santagato:Listen, it's hard being me. And what was that? It was funny. I agree. What was that? I'm just saying, maybe there are people out there that want me dead. And maybe they could find that I'm in a sensory deprivation tank and start filling it up with water. It's not something that locks. How do you know? I went to it. Have you been in one that they're all the same? Only the names will change? Bon Jovi's back, baby. He's back, 100%. We should go. We should do one. They scare me. They really do. I'm not kidding.

41:14Frank Alvarez:It's a little freaky, but once you get in there.

41:16Joe Santagato:Also, massages. I've gotten a couple 60-minute massages. That's terrifying, too. What? They're kind of scary. You're like super, like, this person can just, like, you're relaxing, and then they can just grab a knife and stab you in the back.

41:30Frank Alvarez:Yeah, that's your whole life. I know.

41:32Joe Santagato:It's scary. Like, when I go get a hair.

41:34Frank Alvarez:That's what you're thinking about. Sometimes. How can you possibly relax during a massage? Sometimes. You're thinking, yo, this is going great, but if this woman takes a knife and puts it in the back of my skull.

41:43Joe Santagato:Like, yo, when I go to get a haircut, now they'll be like, hey, do you mind if I use a straight razor? And I'm like, yeah, of course, go ahead. And then I'm like, yo, all they have to do is just go like that, and I'm gone. That's a wild way to live. I mean, you need to prepare yourself.

41:55Frank Alvarez:How are you preparing against a knife attack?

41:59Joe Santagato:That was a stupid question. How easy do you know? You just got to keep that thing on you all the time. And I always have that thing on me. But you don't have weapons. You're not a weapons guy. I'm not a weapons guy. Because I have the ultimate weapon. You know, what do they say? The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both.

42:16Frank Alvarez:I have never heard that.

42:17Joe Santagato:I've said that with much aplomb, and I'm upset that you guys didn't realize it.

42:22Frank Alvarez:the tongue can lick them both the tongue can but i don't know what that's gonna do

42:27Joe Santagato:i mean it's a saying the pen what does it even mean well because the sword swords are normally what we're used to kill people right okay the sword is mighty but you know what's even mightier than that the pen pen because the written word it can enact it can enact change but guess what can lick them both the tongue but what does that mean there is a hierarchy to power and and being able to move the masses. The sword could do it. The pen could do it stronger. Then the tongue could lick them both.

43:04Frank Alvarez:I feel like there's a better way to say that. I feel like if you licked a knife or a sword you'd be in for a rough one. That'd be your last lick. You could lick a sword. The pen is mightier than the sword but the tongue is mightier than them both put together. Is the...

43:22Frank Alvarez:Please tell me that you've made it up. No, I've heard that somewhere. Can lick them both. I've heard that somewhere. Type that in right now. If it doesn't show up, I'm literally calling the police. That's what I was typing in, and that's the phrase that kept coming up. It's close. No.

43:37Joe Santagato:It is not close. No. I've heard this. Don't. Listen. Don't do this. I did. Don't do this. The pen is mightier than the sword. But the tongue can lick them both. Type that in If there's zero searches No, I've heard that I've heard it somewhere

43:54Frank Alvarez:In your dreams

43:55Joe Santagato:No, no, no I've heard this Let's ask Joe Jonas He's probably texting me right now Joe Jonas is very He's very, yeah Joe Jonas is texting me right now

44:02Frank Alvarez:Yeah, what did he say? I did have a text from a number That I didn't have And it was Verizon Fucking bastards They were asking me for money Assholes I have Verizon too I love Verizon I'm gonna be honest with you

44:11Joe Santagato:I enjoy it It's not here No, there's no way It's just not here There's no way I refuse to believe that

44:19Frank Alvarez:What would the tongue licking a pen or a sword mean? Because that doesn't, like, stop the sword.

44:26Joe Santagato:I mean, it's just a saying, Joey. Now I'm panicking over here.

44:34Frank Alvarez:But the tongue can lick them both.

44:40Frank Alvarez:I hope that you find something. I really hope so.

44:44Joe Santagato:I also hope he finds something. From Goodreads. Good read Marcus Garvey. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one. Yep. Yep. Read that one. Read that one.

44:54Frank Alvarez:This is the phrase he's thinking of. It's Marcus Garvey, right?

44:59Joe Santagato:Yeah.

44:59Frank Alvarez:Yeah. That's what I said. It's the pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue is mightier than them both put together.

45:06Joe Santagato:I am telling you, I've heard about the tongue licking. If you took a pen and a sword and you put them together, you can lick them. I'm telling you, I didn't make that up. If I did make that up that's way better than marcus garvey's it no it yes it is does it make sense yes it does make sense like guess what could lick both the pen and the sword the tongue what good does that do it's a it's a it's a euphemism joey it's symbolic it's symbolic i understand that but like i think if anything my version of it is way better than marcus garvey's we know i'm just we know you think

45:42Frank Alvarez:that i'm just saying you know but the tongue can lick them both i mean we have to make posters now

45:48Joe Santagato:like that is i mean is that not i think that's a cool just you and like that outfit with an apple and it's just i mean if someone hasn't made that yet i'd be astonished man that is so good i do think i mean guys yeah all quotes need to come from somewhere yeah so like i'm sure when the first time someone said you know the pen is mightier than the story they were just like what what what is that yeah that was well that's not how it was framed you said it's like they say they have said it they have said it dude this is 2025 we have the internet that means

46:28Frank Alvarez:everything's in there no it doesn't no one's no it doesn't there are stories that we have

46:33Joe Santagato:as individuals that have been passed down that are not necessarily on the internet yet right You know, think of all your, maybe your dad, maybe your dad said it and you're like, oh, that's. If my dad said that. Right. He's a genius. However, I can with confidence say he probably didn't and he probably isn't. The tongue can lick them both. The tongue can lick everything. The tongue can lick everything. That's right. It's just meant to encapsulate that the power of good orators, you know, they can go out there with much aplomb and they can move people based off of the spoken word. I think that that is a very clever way to say that, and I'm going to take my victory laps.

47:11Frank Alvarez:You should because I'm really glad that we got that on camera. We do have some more sponsors for this show. Before we move forward, with more quotes from our resident philosopher here, modern-day Plato. We have PrizePix. PrizePix is a fun game that you can play during the football season here. and basically you are competing against the prize picks projection so they'll make a project projection they'll say stravis kelsey gonna have more or less than four and a half catches you could say more or less and you do that a couple times and build these lineups and you could win a bunch of money then they have a new feature also that has early payouts so if you're uh you know your player gets off to a hot start you have the option to cash out those winnings before the the gaming finishes.

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48:34Frank Alvarez:It's cool. And yeah. Then we have HelloFresh. Listen, it's the new year. We're going to start some new habits. We're going to get right on track here and nothing hits like home cooking. And HelloFresh brings the joy of the kitchen with recipes back right to your front door. Okay, so you're going to go on the website. You're going to pick from their rotating menu. They have a lot of good stuff, high quality stuff. And it's all going to arrive at your house pre-portioned so you don't have to waste anything. And then you're going to make a really nice thing for dinner. All right. And this is how you're going to get into cooking.

49:06Frank Alvarez:You're going to make some interesting stuff. Maybe you can do some healthy stuff as well if that's what you're into. You know, some Mediterranean style or whatever. They have a bunch of different things. So, yeah, just definitely go check them out. HelloFresh. Go to HelloFresh.com slash Basement10FM. You'll get 10 free meals and a freeze willing knife, which is$145 value on your third box. The offer is valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only vary by plan. So go check them out. HelloFresh. Been using them for years. My mom loves HelloFresh.

49:37Frank Alvarez:But go to HelloFresh.com slash Basement10FM to get 10 free meals and that freeze willing knife at$145 value. So there you go, folks. It's a nice way to start the year. Do you guys have any New Year's resolutions?

49:52Joe Santagato:Fix your computer.

49:53Frank Alvarez:Yeah, my computer's panties came off. You had to go with panties? Panties. It was the top, brother. What do you think of panties? What do you see?

50:06Frank Alvarez:What do you see? I mean, you're looking at... You're thinking hard, dude. Don't think too hard. You're thinking real hard. What do you think of when I say panties? Pink? No. Okay, why? That's not... I mean, what do they look like? Pink? Yeah. And small.

50:23Joe Santagato:Lace? You're on fucking fire. Yeah, like the shape. I think panties is more like... Lace is not panties. Lace is bananas. Lace is not panties. I'm thinking like a cotton blend. Oh, you're thinking a cotton blend. I'm thinking like, you know, like... Polyester? Sure, that could be in there. You know, but I'm thinking like what would be like the equivalent to our boxers, you know, like something a little more comfortable than just a fucking piece of thread in someone's asshole. Yeah, because thongs are thongs.

50:52Frank Alvarez:Yeah, thongs are thongs. So like a panty, though. Like, are you thinking a granny panty?

50:58Joe Santagato:I think, I don't think it's as, you know, pronounced as a granny panty. I think granny panties are a little more loose fitting. Yeah. And larger. Yeah. I think these are something. They cover the whole butt. Yeah, I think these are a little more like, you know, pronounced, but still there's a good mix of like, Granny Panty is going for entirely. It's a diaper. Comfort. Too much uncomfort.

51:27Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

51:28Joe Santagato:A panty is like a mix of comfort and style. Okay. And then a thong is just, it doesn't even care about comfort at all. So funny.

51:40Frank Alvarez:What do you think of panties? Pink, pink. That was great. My bad.

51:46Joe Santagato:All right. Yeah. I do. I have some New Year's resolutions. I think I'm really trying to, you know, be the best version of myself. I want to, you know, be more active and stuff like that. The normal stuff. I'm pretty basic with my New Year's resolutions every year. You know, I mean, it's easy because during the holiday season, I really commit to being like eating like a piece of shit. Right. You know, really getting that. I mean, it's all hams and fucking butter stuff. I had ham.

52:11Frank Alvarez:yesterday. My mom made a ham. She made a ham? Oh, God. Hammed it up. Also did a number on the mashed potatoes. Ooh. Yeah, dude. Did she have her world famous broccoli? Did she make the broccoli? Yeah, she made the broccoli. The broccoli's fantastic also. But yeah, the fucking mashed potatoes really threw me. I wasn't expecting that.

52:32Joe Santagato:Is the ham repeating on you today? Are you feeling it?

52:35Frank Alvarez:No, I didn't have that much ham.

52:37Joe Santagato:How much ham are you talking?

52:39Frank Alvarez:Like three pieces. What size pieces? Oh, yeah. I didn't get one of the big hunks. Yeah, the hunka-haka. The hunks are crazy. And I was like, I know too much about the sodium.

52:52Joe Santagato:Just to be very clear, you knew nothing about ham pre one month ago. I knew what it tasted like. Gotcha.

52:58Frank Alvarez:And that was good enough for me.

52:59Joe Santagato:And you knew it was probably not healthy. Yeah. You just didn't know.

53:01Frank Alvarez:Well, I did know. Now I'm too aware of the sodiums. I'm like, oh, I can't. But whatever.

53:07Joe Santagato:I mean, I'll just drink a lot of water. You'll be all right. Yeah. Yeah. It's an easy way to fix it.

53:12Frank Alvarez:What else did she have? I don't even remember, but it was a great dinner. Loved it. Hammed it. Also was putting some of the ham juice, and I was dipping my dinner roll in it. It was pretty fucking good.

53:26Joe Santagato:Ham juice doesn't sound... Yeah, like the juice. Oh, like the glaze.

53:32Frank Alvarez:Well, it's like a juice, and you pour it back on your ham. It's in a little genie lamp? Yeah, you don't do that? Gravy? It's not gravy. It's not gravy, guys. It's not gravy. It's like a liquidy. It's liquidy. It's not gravy. It's not like a thick.

53:49Joe Santagato:I can't even tell you.

53:50Frank Alvarez:You've never poured anything on a ham?

53:52Joe Santagato:No. It's baked with a... It's cooked with a glaze, and then you come out, and you cut it up and eat it.

53:57Frank Alvarez:Oh, wow. You do the juice? Yeah, I'm juicy. Yeah, we do juice. Juice it up. Yeah. There's like a whole... My mom has like a little thing of juice, and we ladle it on. Yep. Juice. You do the ham? If you make a little sandwich with bread, you put some juice on the bread? Juice Yeah What? Not even ever When you take it out of the thing I don't even know I don't know if it's coming out of the ham And it's just in the pan I mean if you're calling it ham juice Yeah I mean it's for the ham Yeah The juice

54:26Joe Santagato:It sounds like an uncooked Kind of sanitary nightmare When you say it like that Ham juice Like if I said chicken juice You'd be like Whoa Hold on

54:35Frank Alvarez:No but that still kind of exists You know when you're cooking it And it's in the pan Yeah

54:39Joe Santagato:That's not juice, my guys. That's like the gravy, the oils.

54:45Frank Alvarez:It's definitely not a gravy. It's not, yeah. It's certainly not. It's not thick to be a gravy. Not at all. Wrong word. It's also like see-through. It's reddish. It's clear. It's not clear.

54:56Joe Santagato:No. I need to see what these fucking juices are. Am I? Can you pull up ham juice? This is crazy. Can you pull up ham juice for me? I don't think it's going to work. I mean, I think you'll be able to find it. You've never had a ham juice. But you know what? You can't find a lot of things on the internet. because they didn't have that. I hope that's not it. That's like a ham broth. What the fuck?

55:14Frank Alvarez:What the fuck is this? None of this looks particularly like... Should I call my mom and ask her about ham juice? Ask your mom about ham juice. All right, let me call my mom.

55:20Joe Santagato:Say, Mom, what the hell is the ham juice? All right, let me... I just, I think... Like I said, if I were to say, here I got a thing of turkey juice, you'd be like, what the fuck?

55:30Frank Alvarez:Let's find out what Biz is doing. She better answer. She better.

55:37Joe Santagato:Hi, Joey.

55:38Frank Alvarez:Hey, Mama.

55:39Joe Santagato:Hold on, I've got a speaker. Okay.

55:41Frank Alvarez:Oh, you're on the basement yard at the moment. I have a question. Hi, Liz. Oh, stop. Hold on.

55:46Joe Santagato:I've got to turn the meatballs. Turn the meatballs. Turn the meatballs. It sounds like you're in the shower. You got any meatball juice? Mom. You're kidding me. Oh, yeah, yeah. Hold on. Whatever.

55:57Frank Alvarez:I'm on the basement yard. Where's Keith? Where's Keith? Mom. All right. I'll retake you on speaker now. Okay. Hi. Hello. I said hi. Hi, Liz. Frank says hi. You didn't tell her I said nothing. Ann said nothing. Thank you. So we're talking about yesterday we had ham, right? Uh-huh. And now the juice that we put on the ham, ham juice.

56:22Joe Santagato:Well, okay.

56:23Frank Alvarez:What is that? Because Frank's never heard of ham juice. I've never heard of ham juice. He's never been juiced. He's never juiced his ham. Well, let me tell you how I make this. And it turns into a juice. It's not juice of the ham. Okay. That's what I put over it. Like some people glaze a ham. Yeah. But I put the big ham in the pan Then I put mustard

56:44Joe Santagato:Then I put a lot of brown sugar I put the pineapple juice from the can of pineapples And I'm going to put her on there And I put What else do I put? A little bit of ginger ale If they need a little more Pancake syrup

57:03Frank Alvarez:I mean don't give this away If we, no, but so wait, that's what that sounds like a glaze. It's a glaze.

57:14Joe Santagato:It's like a glaze, but it's more like a gravy.

57:19Frank Alvarez:It's not a gravy mom.

57:24Frank Alvarez:Yeah, but a gravy is like thick. It's like a, it's like watery, but is that, so the thing that you're dumping, you're dumping that on the ham when it's cooking, right? No, no, I put it all on and then I put it in the oven and forget about it.

57:41Joe Santagato:So she glazes the ham with this concoction. Yeah. And then all the, clearly like the sugars and stuff bind and stick to the ham. And then the liquid that's left, she uses to ladle on as kind of like a gravy. That's what we said. That's why I'm calling it ham juice. But you said it, but I said it sounds like the glaze and you were like, no, it's ham juice.

58:04Frank Alvarez:You're like, you glaze it. First, all right, I'm going to have a different conversation with Frank. But this is all that you put on the ham, and then it kind of gets into the pan, and then you pour that into a cup. Yeah, after I take the ham out to slice, the rest of it I pour into a thing.

58:21Joe Santagato:I can separate if there's any real fatty grease.

58:25Frank Alvarez:I could use the gravy separator to get rid of that, and then we just pour on the rest. All right. Well, you answered my question. Thank you so much Save me some meatballs I'm coming over tomorrow by the way Gotcha

58:40Joe Santagato:Alright I love you Bye Liz Merry Christmas No Ant didn't say anything Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Alright I'll see ya Okay bye bye

58:50Frank Alvarez:Merry Christmas is crazy Merry Christmas is crazy I apologize about my mind

58:55Joe Santagato:No no no So I'm right So I was right this whole time This isn't about right or wrong Um I need to hold on to any bit of being right That I can get

59:04Frank Alvarez:I was saying there is a juice that comes from the ham, like in the pan, and then you ladle it onto your stuff.

59:10Joe Santagato:Yeah, but you said, I was like, oh, it sounds like it's from the glaze. And you said, no, I thought it was. No, you said you make a glaze. The way it sounded, and maybe I'm completely misinterpreting it, was like it was a separate juice that like your mom like.

59:23Frank Alvarez:Oh, I didn't know whether that was right or wrong. Like I didn't know whether she made it separately, but I assumed that it came out of the ham. That's why I was like, how have you never heard of ham juice? I assume it's in the pan. Like, that's the juice.

59:35Joe Santagato:I think we kind of were both explaining the same. You based the ham. Yes, but we were explaining the same things, but just in different ways, if that makes any sense. Like, I've had ham juice. Have you heard that McDonald's spicy chicken McNuggets made with spicy tempura and a blend of aged cayenne are back? Remember to grab a few extra napkins. For a limited time at participating McDonald's.

1:00:02Frank Alvarez:No, but my whole question How this started was Do you ladle stuff onto your plate? But that's the question That's what I'm saying

1:00:09Joe Santagato:Yeah, but then you were saying ham juice And I was like, what the fuck does this juice come from? It's the juice for the ham From your mom glazing the ham I think we lost once she used the word gravy

1:00:15Frank Alvarez:Yeah, it's certainly not a gravy I don't care what she says Like, it's not a gravy The ginger ale I wrote down the recipe, obviously But the ginger ale That was a surprise

1:00:24Joe Santagato:Oh, my dad Like, his thing Coca-Cola, right? Yeah, my dad just The only thing he does to his ham Is he pours like five cans of Coca-Cola

1:00:32Frank Alvarez:I've seen people do that online. That's a lot of Coca-Cola. I think it's just because of the sugar content.

1:00:37Joe Santagato:Yeah, basically once you cook it, it crystallizes basically.

1:00:41Frank Alvarez:Yeah. Do you do mustard with your glaze?

1:00:43Joe Santagato:Beck does, yeah.

1:00:44Frank Alvarez:And you're all right with that? It buries it, right? It buries it.

1:00:47Joe Santagato:Yeah, guys, listen. We can talk about it. I feel like we should myth bust this. Bust the myth a little. Yeah. You got to be open though. I'm open. I have had and continue to have mustard incorporated into dishes. Right. You know, like it's just like hot dog, like yellow mustard or brown mustard. Yellow mustard isn't great. Like on something or like as a dip or something. No way. That's filthy disgusting. I will say not liking honey mustard is very confusing. I just, it's the mustard. It's just mustard.

1:01:26Frank Alvarez:Stirred.

1:01:27Joe Santagato:Mustard It sounds like a slur Like a slur Mustard Yeah I That is disgusting to me And It doesn't make sense Because a lot of people say like Oh it's like very vinegary tasting And stuff like that I love vinegar I don't like Mustard I wouldn't describe it that I think yellow mustard is like Wow Well that's what Yellow mustard What's the one with the little brown beads That's like brown mustard Or Dijon or anything Yeah But like You know that is You know how they make that No They soak it in, like, vinegar, and then they puree it. That's it? I believe that's one of the methods. You know what blew my mind?

1:02:06Joe Santagato:Almond milk is just crushed up almonds. Well, they let them soak in water, and then they blend them together.

1:02:13Frank Alvarez:But isn't that weird? You can milk an almond.

1:02:15Joe Santagato:I know. I mean, it's more like a milk smoothie. It's like an almond smoothie.

1:02:20Frank Alvarez:But it, you know what I'm saying?

1:02:22Joe Santagato:I mean, yeah.

1:02:23Frank Alvarez:I mean, I've seen videos of people making it. I'm like, there's got to be more. I don't believe this.

1:02:28Joe Santagato:Almond milk, I know it's a good alternative. You've said it in the past and I wanted to strangle you. It's not better than whole milk.

1:02:36Frank Alvarez:I said that almond milk was better?

1:02:37Joe Santagato:Yeah. You said you prefer the taste, which I have to take your preference and destroy it.

1:02:43Frank Alvarez:I don't think that – I don't even remember what whole milk tastes like. I haven't had it in so long. Delicious. Let me tell you, brother. Maybe I've had it like in stuff. I'm sure like ice cream has like whole milk in it. Are you an oat milk guy? No, because I think oat milk might be the worst taste. I had oat milk one time. I put it in a coffee just to try it, and I was like, that ruined my coffee.

1:03:03Joe Santagato:I've had all the cashew, oat milk, hemp milk, almond milk. I've only really had almond. It's just not milk. There's no taste or flavoring to it. It's just white and smooth.

1:03:17Frank Alvarez:I mean, sometimes I would get an almond milk that would have a vanilla in it. And that shit is... No.

1:03:24Joe Santagato:I would eat cereal with that. So we are myth-busting here. I've had and will continue to have mustard incorporated into dishes, but not when it's like a player. You know what I'm saying? Like not when it's like on the cover of Madden.

1:03:39Frank Alvarez:So like you wouldn't do like a pretzel dipped into like a Dijon.

1:03:43Joe Santagato:No way. That's crazy. But every time we've had Texas barbecue, like the binder is mustard. Yeah. And like that doesn't bother me at all.

1:03:53Frank Alvarez:There's a ton of other shit in there too. too. Yeah. I love when there's like a peppery crust.

1:03:59Joe Santagato:I'm going to tell you right now, I recently was thinking about that Texas barbecue we had and man, I actually had a very good, I went to a

1:04:09Frank Alvarez:steakhouse recently. Oh yeah. Now you're speaking my language. And it was in Midtown. So finance people, mind you, it's 1 PM. Not my idea to go here, obviously to go to a fucking steakhouse at 1 p.m. but at a at a steakhouse bunch of finance dudes there martinis steaks i'm like how can i like wouldn't have survived that industry at all but they had a bunch of these fucking peppery crusts on these steaks oh yeah so good and a lobster mac and cheese that would make you take your head pull it off and suck your own wiener you don't have the like stomach strength for a lot of the best foods call my doctor tell him i don't need one now since you're the one

1:05:03Joe Santagato:consistently making up stomach issues no but like listen to what you just said that sounds like the best lunch i've ever had but if you went it's such a heavy thing to eat exactly if you went and had a lunch that was martinis and steaks and lobster mac and cheese and throw in dessert. You, as Joey, you would need to go lie down.

1:05:24Frank Alvarez:No, it's not about that. It's about like this is an insane thing for a lunch. I'd walk out there and I'd be like, this is quite possibly the most energized I've ever felt in my entire life. But eating that and then being like, I'm going to have a dinner later is crazy to me. Monday to Friday?

1:05:40Joe Santagato:I mean, no. Doing that every day, that is crazy. Yeah, you're sprinting. You're asking for it. I mean, metabolism, brother. Like, I can eat a big lunch at 1 p.m., a steak, whatever, and I will be ready for dinner at 5 or 6. That's just not, like, of interest.

1:05:59Frank Alvarez:Like, it feels like that's such a heavy thing.

1:06:01Joe Santagato:And I think that's also, and, you know, jokes aside, like, the whole stomach thing, like, I think that's the difference for you is, like, you're just like, oh, I'd rather not eat that and feel a little sluggish. But I'm like, I don't care. It just strikes me as a dinner food. Steak? Like, yeah. Steak is universal, baby. Steak and eggs?

1:06:20Frank Alvarez:Yeah, I just... You ever had steak and eggs? I've had it. Oh, yeah. I definitely wouldn't get that. I feel like my meals need to be light to heavy. Really? Yeah, like the lightest stuff in the morning and then something else, and then the dinner one can be whatever.

1:06:38Joe Santagato:Brother?

1:06:38Frank Alvarez:Not super light, but you know.

1:06:40Joe Santagato:Every single one of my meals can be like a fucking full diaper of baby shit.

1:06:44Frank Alvarez:I will say when we're on the road and we stop at a fucking Bucky's, then I'm getting some brisket sandwiches. Yo. Don't matter what time it is. Those brisket and egg blew me away. Shocked me.

1:06:55Joe Santagato:I didn't think it was going to be good at all. Like, that whole experience. I'm not kidding. Listen, a lot of people can say a lot of things about America, especially today. Lord knows I do. Lord knows you don't.

1:07:11Joe Santagato:the like microcosm of like america is bucky's it is that's what people probably view us as yeah and and honestly i'm not ashamed of that because it's good food it's reasonable prices it's well paid employees and a fat ass wall of jerky and a brother and a beaver a wall of jerky what about the wall of sodas i miss that yo they had fountain sodas for fucking days dude when we were down there you didn't see it was called like big red no that's like their drink in texas when we were at when we were at the the pecan lodge in in dallas which by the way that was good they're fucking they're like they were like oh our drink of choice like on the tap they had two sections for Big Red.

1:07:59Joe Santagato:And it's just fruit punch soda.

1:08:02Frank Alvarez:They had a good candy section too. Oh, what's that shit? Beaver tail? Beaver crunch?

1:08:08Joe Santagato:Yeah.

1:08:09Frank Alvarez:Fuck.

1:08:09Joe Santagato:They're like little corn pops.

1:08:11Frank Alvarez:Yeah, those things are fucking outrageous. I'll tell you right now. Beaver? Beaver shit. What is it called? Beaver nuggets. Bucky's Beaver something nuggets. Oh, the Beaver Nuggets? Yeah, what are those called? Bussy Nuggets? What? Excuse me? Bussy? Bucky's Bussy? No. No, it's a beaver nugget snack. You know what bussy means, right? It's like a sweet little, it looks like a corn puff. Yeah. Hello? Beaver nuggets. That's what it is, beaver nuggets. Corn puff snacks. That's what I said. They are so probably not good for you.

1:08:43Joe Santagato:I mean, it's like fried.

1:08:46Frank Alvarez:I think it's just a puff, syrup puff. Yeah. 14 sugars. Oh. 14 grams of sugar? Yeah, and there's 13 serving sizes in the bag. I ate one. I ate, well, I didn't eat the whole bag. You ate like half a bag. I ate half a bag in the ride to, I don't know, maybe 15 minutes somewhere. That's a big bag. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I stopped for my health. Not because I needed to.

1:09:10Joe Santagato:Joey, when we got to wherever we were going next, you ran like three quarters of a marathon.

1:09:17Frank Alvarez:It's like going to burn off this Buc-ee's. But the Buc-ee's, yeah. You been to a Buc-ee's?

1:09:22Joe Santagato:Hey. Never. I mean, we're picky boys. Bickey Boys video. You go to Right to Buckey's video. There you go.

1:09:28Frank Alvarez:I was sent to Buckey's costume. The P.O. Box.

1:09:32Joe Santagato:Yeah, you don't need that. That's good. You go to – just document the experience. Look, we're giving you free stuff here, baby.

1:09:37Frank Alvarez:This is a great idea. You fly to Texas, and then you go to as many Buckey's as you can go to in 24 hours. I mean, that would be it.

1:09:45Joe Santagato:We went to four.

1:09:47Frank Alvarez:You went to four?

1:09:48Joe Santagato:We went to four. Why? We drove driving into Houston.

1:09:51Frank Alvarez:Why is a good question.

1:09:52Joe Santagato:Why or why not, I think is the right question.

1:09:55Frank Alvarez:Or did we know we were doing that is better. I think the first time.

1:09:59Joe Santagato:So we talked, not talk shit, but like Zach was just like. He was talking it up, similar to what we were saying. But like he was all about it. And then on the drive, he was like, guys, we're passing a Buc-ee's on the drive from Dallas to Houston. And we were like, all right, whatever. Like we'll stop to appease you. We walked in blown away.

1:10:17Frank Alvarez:Bro.

1:10:18Joe Santagato:Blown away.

1:10:19Frank Alvarez:The brisket's good.

1:10:20Joe Santagato:Hot brisket on the board. It was a four hour drive or three and a half hours. What was it? I don't know. We stopped at another one. Yeah. And not like, oh, Frankie needs to stop. It was like, everyone's just like, where is it? All right. There's another one coming up.

1:10:35Frank Alvarez:And then two more.

1:10:35Joe Santagato:And then leaving Houston to go to Austin.

1:10:40Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

1:10:41Joe Santagato:Two more. Okay.

1:10:43Frank Alvarez:And I don't think that we realized that we had done that until it was over. I mean, like, we just did four.

1:10:50Joe Santagato:So. It became a problem when, like, the next morning we were just like, we'll just go to bucky's for breakfast yeah i would have if they had one up here i'm telling you dude yo i'm letting you know right now that's one of those places i'm driving and experiencing traffic to go and experience like you you should do that though it's a funny video all right because you guys did it for you did it for the rainforest cafe we did at uh hitting a

1:11:13Frank Alvarez:bucky's in minneapolis right yeah minneapolis i spun a wheel if you find an area where there's like enough like within a you know reasonable driving distance you could probably hit a bunch

1:11:25Joe Santagato:i'm sure like i think there's one in florida which is an easier drive than i mean easier

1:11:31Frank Alvarez:fly than uh than texas also great bathrooms they clean literally award-winning bathrooms yeah

1:11:38Joe Santagato:award-winning yes they got recognized by like you know like rest stop daily or something like that

1:11:44Frank Alvarez:Like a Michelin star outside the... Yo. Yes, dude. They have a car wash. They have a lot of different gas pumps. So they're there for the peep. For the people.

1:11:55Joe Santagato:I am looking up the closest Buc-ee's for you.

1:11:58Frank Alvarez:The closest one is in Tennessee, I think. But every 15 minutes, is there a thunderstorm? Every 15 minutes, there's a thunderstorm in fucking Rainforest Cafe?

1:12:07Joe Santagato:Yeah. That sucks. No one cares about it.

1:12:10Frank Alvarez:Is it just lightning and nothing? Yeah, the animals...

1:12:12Joe Santagato:The closest Buc-ee's is in Florence, South Carolina. Ah. And it is a, let's say we were to drive from here. Let's say we were to drive from right here. I ain't. That's a, it's a bit of a drive. Nine, ten? Ten and a half. Yeah. But that flight is like our buck twenty. Yeah. If that. Dude.

1:12:33Frank Alvarez:Seeing if I could hit ten Buc-ee's in 24 hours. Bro. Or is that too easy? With enough enthusiasm and gas? Yeah. I mean, I don't even know if that's true, but it would be something. Let me see. But you got to get a brisket sandwich every time.

1:12:46Joe Santagato:Yeah, it's really. I'm not even kidding. Or some jerky.

1:12:49Frank Alvarez:Definitely some beaver nuggets. Now it sounds like something I sent Danny to do. Yeah. I mean, Danny would probably rip that place to shreds.

1:12:57Joe Santagato:The place is amazing. And I'm going to find a way to get back there soon.

1:13:02Frank Alvarez:I saw a bird in one. That's cool. Yeah, he just was like walking in and out near the exit because he knows what's going on. What kind of bird? It was like a pigeon. That's cool. But he was just like, you know, like, I know there's brisket in here.

1:13:15Joe Santagato:I mean, if you're a bird, the place to live is Bucky's. Yeah. You know, you got to commit to it.

1:13:23Frank Alvarez:It's not a bang for your buck. I mean, oh, my God. I didn't realize I said that. Look at that.

1:13:29Joe Santagato:Bucky's, hire the guy. Let's get a brand new. Yo, you think Bucky's will be a sponsor?

1:13:35Frank Alvarez:No. I don't think they need any more marketing. Like people, it's like a mythological like creature.

1:13:43Joe Santagato:Why don't we start a Bucky's up here?

1:13:45Frank Alvarez:Are they privately owned?

1:13:47Joe Santagato:But can we be like franchisees?

1:13:50Frank Alvarez:No, because it's privately owned.

1:13:51Joe Santagato:So like hit up Mr. and Mrs. Bucky and be like, listen, my name is Joe Sanagato. You might have recognized me from. My friend Joe Jonas. My friend Joe Jonas. People of the, people of Walmart version 28. and co-host of the wildly popular and incredibly funny basement yard. I am looking to expand my business empire. Now, the best way to do that would be gas station. Gas station to bring an iconic piece of the United States to the Northeast. Let me introduce you to, and then you would pull a big sheet, and you would have a model. You know how they do that in those movies and stuff like that? It'd be like, Buc-ee's of New York.

1:14:42And it would be a fucking one city block in Manhattan.

1:14:50Joe Santagato:And it's a Buc-ee's. And it's a five-foot-tall, no, five-story-tall Buc-ee's. Five-foot-tall Buc-ee's.

1:15:00Frank Alvarez:If you own that land, why even open it? Just the land is worth more at that point. He's not thinking. Got it. Yeah.

1:15:07Joe Santagato:I'm not. You know how the garages in Manhattan have the bottom part is the parking garage? Uh-huh. The bottom part will be all the gas station pumps.

1:15:17Frank Alvarez:Yeah. First level, Bucky's brisket.

1:15:22Joe Santagato:Second level, merch. Third level, executive offices. Fourth and fifth, hotel rooms. Bucky's themed hotel rooms.

1:15:34Frank Alvarez:Can we have an indoor pool?

1:15:36Joe Santagato:on the roof that's not indoor on the roof in a bubble okay but the bubble is shaped like bucky the beaver i'm in i whenever i have these business ideas i surprise myself with how good they are

1:15:51Frank Alvarez:yeah me too i'm so surprised but all that to say it's a lovely gas station and we're big fans and i really would i really honestly think it's one of the best breakfast sandwiches I've ever had. It's definitely within my top five. Definitely is crazy. Top seven though, for sure. Doesn't top seven just mean it's seventh? It could be five to seven.

1:16:18Joe Santagato:I would say top five. The egg and brisket breakfast burrito, whatever that was. Good, bro. And like, yo, you know how I feel about flour tortillas? It was a perfectly cooked flour tortilla.

1:16:31Frank Alvarez:I got mine in a bun perfect so good anyway that's all we have for you today uh oh wait this is the first episode of the new year so welcome to 2026 yes happy new year and stuff happy new year yay we started

1:16:48Joe Santagato:talking we tried talking about our resolutions i want to call you a bitch less that's what i that's one of my ones i want to say i want to use bitch directed at you less what a resolution i mean i think it's something that i can work on how about not gonna hold my breath how about i

1:17:02Frank Alvarez:I tally it, and every time you call him one on here, you owe him$100.

1:17:08Joe Santagato:$100? Yeah.

1:17:09Frank Alvarez:That would keep him...

1:17:11Joe Santagato:$10.

1:17:12Frank Alvarez:$10, I'll do that.

1:17:12Joe Santagato:$10 for every bitch, and at the end of the year...

1:17:14Frank Alvarez:All right, but you need a word, too, then. What do I call you a lot?

1:17:18Joe Santagato:Well, we can't say those slurs on here.

1:17:20Frank Alvarez:I set that one right up. Yep, yep. How about every time he points at you? $10.

1:17:25Joe Santagato:Ooh, that's a good one, yeah.

1:17:27Frank Alvarez:Okay.

1:17:30Joe Santagato:All right. And then at the end of the year... you give it all to me. No, we'll give it all to charity.

1:17:35Frank Alvarez:We're just full of ideas on this show.

1:17:37Joe Santagato:We'll give it all to charity. Yes, of course.

1:17:39Frank Alvarez:I like that. The charity is named Francisco. Frank Alvarez Charity for New Collectibles. For New Business Ideas, for opening up a Buc-ee's in Manhattan.

1:17:51Joe Santagato:All right, so it'll be the bitch count and the point count. Okay.

1:17:56Frank Alvarez:I love that.

1:17:57Joe Santagato:I think you need to actually say on top of it, though, too.

1:18:00Frank Alvarez:I will. and then you gotta throw in$10 every time you fucking make some sexual remark over there. Yeah, you horny dude. You're a horny boy. Green pies and glory holes over there. Yeah. Pink panties. Throw$10 down right now. That'd really be handcuffing me there. Yeah. That's a sexual one too. Horny. $20. He wants to be handcuffed.

1:18:25Joe Santagato:But that is all for this week's episode. Frank, where can they find you? The Frank Alvarez on social media everywhere. And then make sure you check out TBY tour merch for any available pieces of our merch from our tour. If you want to try to get your hands on them.

1:18:38Frank Alvarez:And you can find me at Ant Prisco on Instagram. Oh, it's a new year. It is a new year. We're going to edit that out. Yeah. Go follow me at Joe Sanagato in the basement yard. It'd be funny if someone just bleeped over what he said. And that is all. We'll see you guys next time.

1:19:03Joe Santagato:Have you heard that McDonald's spicy chicken McNuggets made with spicy tempura and a blend of aged cayenne are back? Remember to grab a few extra napkins. For a limited time at participating McDonald's.