#537 - The New Drag Queens

26:23what the hell is that well why do you give me the allowance to do that the allowance why do you allow me to do that i wonder how long you could like if you did a podcast by yourself like how long do you think you could go uh an hour yeah i i years ago when i did the the wrestling podcast i there were a couple of like not a lot there were like one or two episodes where i did by myself and i just talked and rattled it just rattled i mean but that that was different because that was about a thing so like we talk about like raw and then smackdown than NXT and yada yada yada so like I had stuff to talk about to fill the time yeah but like here letting it just letting it let it rip maybe maybe we fuck around maybe we have a just frank episode and we see what gets what happens just get wild you know see where it goes I that would be interesting to hear why I mean just because whenever like before you just recorded an ad for santa gato studios and like sometimes he just goes on tangents and it's like the ad is supposed to be like two minutes and it's 15 minutes of footage well i i like to take the approach of just like i'm gonna do it well you know like that's that's the approach i like to take like i'm gonna try to do this thing well yeah like so when we do an ad i try to read it and do it and ad lib a little bit because that's what these companies want they want a little yeah you know they want a little paprika in there they don't want just salt and pepper right so that my mentality definitely going into 2026 as well as like if you're going to do something do it well wow as opposed to doing it poorly right well i mean yeah why that's good i value i value no great in there for no i i try to do it well no good i mean sometimes things end up being good honestly profound groundbreaking stuff if you're gonna do it do it well not something i've ever heard before and i'm i'm taking that energy into 26 as well i mean what's funny about that i think that's a that's a legitimate thing to bring in to anyone's life when you do like if you're going to like i am at a point in my life where my mentality is like if you're going to do something try to do it well

28:49recent point in your life i don't i don't understand what's so funny about that it's just funny because you're saying it in a way like it's that you've created i mean i do think that like there is a bit of this mentality with people i don't get what's funny i'm not even laughing you're laughing i'm just i'm smiling there is definitely like a a i'm coming to a point in my life where I'm seeing people do stuff and they're just like, whatever. I don't want to do that. I want to like make it good. Yeah. So if I'm going to do it, if I'm committing to doing something, my mentality is like, it's going to be pretty darn good.

29:28Right. I'm going to try to make it as good as it could be. Would you say that, would you say that, um, like, does this resonate with you and this is something i just came up with just do it i don't like that i know that's nikes i don't i don't like that because in my head just doing it isn't enough isn't enough you got to do it well you need to do it well if you're gonna do it do it well i think and where'd you hear that or that just came to you i i was i was sitting outside the other night and i was hanging out i had a drink yeah and i was thinking like okay i yeah i i know you don't like doing this i at the end i i at the end of the year i do look at new years as like a bit of a transition point like i do look at it as like it's an end here's a start so toward the end of the year i also do this around my birthday i sit outside i reflect back on the last year and i look forward on what i want to do for the next year so in in my time kind of being self-reflective i thought like okay if you're going to do something in 2026 do it well i don't get such a troll bro it's crazy you're trolling i don't know what you're talking about

30:48you're trolling i'm not trolling like like the patreon reads those are memorable why because i go in with the mentality of like all right if you're going to do this make it good like better than good pretty good yeah i think pretty good is less than good it feels less pretty good pretty good it depends how you emphasize it 2026 is gonna be a life-changing year for all of us and i think that if we go in with the mentality of like the thing that we do we got to do them well yeah duh yeah i mean it's such a simple concept but You have to say it. How much of life is so simple that we forget to acknowledge it?

31:33I hate this kid, bro. You're trolling. Why am I trolling when I'm expressing myself? First of all, don't turn this around because you know what you're doing, you son of a bitch. Honestly, I'm in. Thank you. On what? You are a really, really good standard for doing something well because you and the streams and everything, you guys do a lot of really good stuff. I'm not fucking around. Now I'm getting confused. No, I don't want to be in it. Now I don't know what's happening anymore. Bro, you guys stream consistently. You put out stuff. It's funny. It keeps you engaged and stuff like that. So my mentality is like, I was thinking about you doing this.

32:10Like, if I'm going to do something, I want to do it well. Like, what's crazy? All right. I think you just want it because I think that that is the right sentiment. What you're trying to do is say that as many times as you possibly can. And I know that you're trolling. I am trying to explain it in a way that is the most digestible.

32:31and give you your flowers i mean jesus christ i just i enjoy roses do you what would you do if i got you a bouquet of flowers you'd be like oh thanks i would think you'd be you were thinking about me and i would love that oh wow nice i don't know what i'd do with them what does anyone do with them smell them i mean you put them in a pot of water yeah you display them what would you do if I got you a bouquet flowers? I would display them. That's very nice. We talked about this years ago. I love flowers. Favorite flower I forgot? You know, I'm not really sure, but I really like tulips. I like a tulip.

33:11I like tulips. Rebecca's flower. I don't even think I knew a tulip existed before Becca. Tulip? I feel like that's a... Oh, oh, there's one that's a fucking, It's big and it's got a fat ass. Orchids? No. God. Type in orchid. It's something with an A. Orchid? It's something with an A. Anus. Orchids are like, aren't they like one of the hardest flowers to like maintain? I couldn't tell you. I've never had one. I believe they're like famously known to like be very difficult and look straight up. Yeah. I see what you're doing. A little bit. There's one, it's like a real, it's like a flower ball and then it blooms into a beautiful flower It has, it starts with an A though I think I can't type in A flower It'll just show me a flower Go back, there was a thing of like flower names Flowers beginning with the letter A What is it, what is it, what is it, what is it?

34:04Is it on here? Order that first one I can't see it It's a tiny, it's a tiny It's not even zooming it in for me Oh here we go Scroll down Aster Peony, yo Peony is not an A at all I know, I'm strong. It's not, it's not. Look up, look up. Oh, did you mean aster? No, no, no, peony I meant. Didn't mean, okay, got it, got it. Look up peonies. Look up my sister's favorite flower. Coxcomb? That's crazy. Get the fuck out of here. Crazy, look up peonies. You know how those got their name? Yeah, people were combing their dicks with it. Okay. Oh, water lilies are also beautiful. What do we want? Peony. Dude, a big fucking like, it looks like a baseball of flowers and then it blooms and it's beautiful.

34:47My sister likes peonies. They're beautiful. Yeah, they're good flowers. Oh. Yeah. This looks like ice cream. I would eat that. I would eat the fuck out of that. I would eat a flower. I've eaten flowers. What? What? I've eaten flowers. I don't think that's that crazy. I mean, you're eating the packaging that your Amazon packages show up with. Peonies, very pretty. Orchids, tall, but very pretty. Yeah. Yeah, subflowers, pretty, but then get real ugly real quick. How do you feel about mums? I'm in on mums. I like mums. I like mums, but like one of those mums get real pretty, and then they're fucking hideous.

35:27Yeah, yeah. You know, like I like something that has longevity, but you brought up money before, and I wanted to bring this up. I saw one. I'm going to ask you guys. You love doing these ant questions, but it's not an ant question at the time. It's a Frank question. Stole your segment. Frank Christian!

35:47I mean, he's doing it well. If he's going to do it, he's going to do it well. I don't like that you guys are making fun of that because that's something I've seriously tried to bring into 2026. Yeah, but I don't know if you're being serious. See, with the camera's on me, you start laughing. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. So I don't know what's happening here. Don't repeat it. I'm only going to not believe it even more. More. I'm only going to not believe it even more. That was V.B. Weiss talking right there. You're V.B. Weiss. Who am I? Mira Heat? Mira Pounda or something? I'm fucking Yolanda Dumpster.

36:24All right. All right, all right, all right. Yolanda Dumpster. So you can only pick one of these. Okay. A million dollars a day. This is post-tax, by the way. Or non-tax, let me say. Thank you. I know. It's a big topic of conversation. $100 million instant,$10 ,000 per minute, or$1 ,000 per second. Now, I know that's probably smart, like something smart. I mean, there's one easy distinction. The second one, what was it? $10 ,000 per minute? $10 ,000 per minute. That's out of there. Instead of$10 ,000 per, it's$1 ,000 per second, which is insane. Yeah, but what was the$10 ,000 one? No, it was$10 ,000 a minute.

37:1110 ,000 a minute, 1 ,000 a second, 100 million instant, or 1 million per day? 10 ,000 a second. No, 1 ,000 a second. Are you kidding me? Sorry, 10 ,000 a minute. Sorry. Why? I think I would do 1 ,000. I mean, that's the easy answer. That's like the easy wrong answer. I just want to say no because I'll just do 1 ,000 a second. Give it to me again. I got to write it down. 1 ,000 a second. Okay. That means per 60 seconds, it's$60 ,000 or$10 ,000 per minute. Get rid of the$10 ,000 per minute. Easily, Al. That's a very easy one. You picked the only wrong answer. That's bad. That's bad. That's bad. 100 mil instantly or a million dollars per day.

37:59Okay. I think the answer is the seconds. I would say, no, I would say it's a million dollars a day. I think it's the seconds. Isn't there a lot of seconds in the day? 60 times 24. Yeah, I mean. I'll look it up. It's 1.2? 60 times 24. It's 1440. So it's 1440 minutes in a day. So times that by 60, because that's$86 ,000. So a million dollars a day would be the smart thing to do. Wait, what did you just do? Yeah, you did that wrong. You said 24. That's hours, brother. How many seconds are in a day? Sorry, I'm not doing this quite well. It's 60 times 60. I'm not doing this quite well. 60 times 60 times 24.

38:50There's an easier way, fellas. How many seconds are in a day? How many seconds in a day? And it is 86 ,400 seconds. So 86 ,400 times... What was it? 60 ,000. A thousand. No. Oh, yeah. That's wrong. What's going on? Wait. Stop. Stop. $1 ,000 a second. So 60 times 60. Now we got hours times 24. 86, 4 ,000. 86, 400 times 1 ,000 is 86 million. 86 million a day. Really? Yeah, that's what I wrote in and I thought that was wrong. 86 million a day. Yeah, that doesn't. I have a feeling I'm going to pick that one. Yeah, that's the one. I didn't do that well. What did you go for? $86 ,000. 86 seconds in the day I fucked up guys It's okay Forgive me You didn't do that well I didn't do that But it's the big hits Technically when we're recording When we are recording Pre-2026 It is 2025 So once 2026 hits I won't be doing shit like that Ever again Everything I'll do from here on out Will have much aplomb It will What was the other one It was like a million a day Dude imagine having Like a thousand dollars per second Like literally you go Into any store I mean that's like that's like do you ever see the it was like a tiktok and it was like jeff bezos walking through an amazon warehouse and it was like he goes up to workers and there's like hey and the workers are like hey congrats on everything you're doing great and on their like chest it has like how much they're earning per second and he's in like obviously thousands of dollars and i saw some stat that bill gates if he saw a hundred dollar bills on the on the ground picking it up is not worth his time compared to how much he's making per day like the amount of time to pick up that hundred dollar bill he already made it oh my god so what did it cost you to pick up that 20 that you found let's do that joe makes what 50 million dollars a year oh man imagine 50 oh trust me i think about making that money all the time okay um he makes 50 million a year okay do you guys have a dollar amount that you said that man seriously do you guys have a dollar amount that you're like all right if i had that then i'm just feeling good like you have an enough number i'd say 50 mil is around there i mean yeah i don't know why are you thinking do you think like a cartoon character he was like he's like oh in the account 50 mil would be nice yeah of course 10 10 10?

41:30You think if you had$10 million, you'd be like, all right, I need to like. If I got$10 million, I'd be like, oh, man, this might not last forever. If I had$50 million, I would. $10 million? Yeah. How is that not going to last forever? You were just saying. You and OBJ, you were on the phone the other day, and you were just like, it's so hard for us, guys. You just said this. No. I think I can make$10 million last for a lifetime. Of course. $10. No, but if you're giving me, if like, what's the question? The question is like, what do you need? I'll say like 50. Because what are they going to say?

42:04Like, no, do it for 30. I'd be like, okay. Well, no one's going to put the money in your account. I meant just like if there's a number in your life. You never know. You wonder if there's any billionaires watching this? You ever thought about that? Who can just give money away? Why can't they? Eh. I mean, would you? If I was a billionaire and a random podcast was like, it'd be cool to have 50 million and be like, you know what? I'm going to wire them. Bro, billionaires do dumb things all the time. yeah but i'm saying like is that if you were bro if you were if you had uh i don't even need to say a hundred billion let's say if you had a billion dollars in your bank account right now and someone's just like haha give me 50 mil you wouldn't be there wouldn't be a party that's just like oh i can i mean yeah you could but i i I wouldn't give it to a random person, I don't think.

42:57I mean, we're not random people. To someone who has a billion dollars, yeah. I mean, a lot of people that watch this show have a bit of a parasocial relationship with us. You don't know if, like, there's some billionaire watching that. It's just like, I feel like I'm one of those guys. Now let me go take a bath in sheep's blood. And wire them 50 million. And wire them 50 million. Listen, billionaires, I know you're watching.

43:22It could be pretty cool if you did this. Like cool kids do stuff like that. And I know you're trying to kind of fit in. I know that being a billionaire kind of removes you from society a bit. You're trying to fit in. We want you to fit in. I'm in this. Yes. So like just give us 20 mil each. Oh, we're down to 20 now. 20, 20, 20, 60. I'll take 10. Make it 50. I'm fine. All right. How about this? How about you get nothing now? Well, I'm trying to help. Wow. I'm the one that's talking to the billionaire right now. You're right. Like, isn't that a weird... Like, jokes aside, isn't that a weird concept that, like...

44:00Oh, by the way, we're all taking$1 ,000 for a second, right? Yeah. Honestly, though, I wouldn't hate a million a day. Snap answer. If it was just like, you need to answer in three seconds, I'd say a million a day. I feel like it's cooler to say that. It's definitely cooler to say$86 million a day. $365 million a year. That's cool. That's insane. That's pretty nuts. Not going to complain about it. I don't think I will either. But let me ask a question. Oh, okay. Here we go. I know what Joe is doing now because he loves to do this. I'm joking. Go, go, go. No, I was just going to say, you think money buys happiness?

44:42I think it helps. I absolutely think it helps. I think that money brings along other issues that you would not understand. But, you know, you can't anticipate. But in terms of, like, what is a lot of people's source of woe. Woe is crazy. I think money helps a lot. Yeah. It might not be. It might be just, like, a shot. Like, it might be, like, two years of happiness, not, like, lifelong happiness. Yeah. I think the answer is just yeah. You just think it's a yeah? Just yeah. Why do you think people who have money say it doesn't? Because they need to be more relatable to people. Just be like, it's so hard.

45:27You think all this money is so easy to have? It's so, I'm just as miserable as you. Because at the end of the day, money doesn't fix problems in here. That's a really good point. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, really good point. And everyone has this. In your sweater? That too. A lot of people probably do have that sweater. It'll probably fix problems in there. It's a nice sweater, by the way. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. where's that from great question no i i do think that there is like if you take a snapshot of an individual at that point in time happiness is relative it's based off of you know it's situational if you take an individual and you give them a lot of money they will become happier but with that money comes a boatload of different issues and problems that they had not anticipated and those will probably where the other like problems and shit that'll creep in.

46:19So I guess I'm, I know you hate that I do this. Like it's like a yes and no. It depends. I think at the end of the day, you'd rather be broke with problems. You wouldn't rather be broke with problems than rich with problems. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but the problems, I mean, I imagine that like billionaire rich problems are like fucking whoa, dude. Like more intense than problems. I doubt it. I love the casualness of your answer What do you think?

46:53Yeah, I mean, I have a similar answer to you I think that, like, yes, of course I just think that you hear people say all the time I forgot who it was, but someone famous, like some celebrity said, like, I wish people could, you know, have everything they ever wanted to know that, it might have been, like, Jim Carrey or some shit so that they can know that like it's not that it's meaningless or something i don't know that they're still unhappy or whatever the fuck your answer to i think i that resonates of being like i think that's what why people say that it's like oh i'm still i'm happy because of my relationships with my family and my friends and blah blah blah but you also like not having financial security is like a big one dude like yeah i think saying that money can't buy happiness ignores that and Like that's a massive one that everyone is dealing with.

47:43Everyone wants. Yeah, like you want financial security. And of course, it's not going to fix all of your problems. So if you don't have to think about your financial situation at all, I think naturally you're going to think of what your issues are and try to plug those holes. So you'll notice that you still have issues that maybe some are deep seated. So like, yeah, money can't technically fix those things, but you're in a better position. But even like when you're saying like, you know, it doesn't fix this. Access to more money definitely assists people with having the resources to seek out mental health professionals and stuff like that.

48:24So like, yeah, they might still not like there might be some parts of them that they can't fix. But like they now have access to resources that can definitely give them the tools to make those things feel better. That's not exactly what I meant. I meant more like if I have$1 ,000 and my grandma's a bitch than if I have a billion, my grandma's still a bitch. You know what I mean? Yeah, but the issue is that at$1 ,000, she's a bitch. At a billion dollars, she's a bitch, and she won't leave you alone, and she's asking for money. Could be a bigger bitch. Right, but now I have a billion dollars. She could be a bitch.

48:54I don't care. In the other wing of my house. Yeah, it's like she'd keep it over there. I mean, I seriously would love to know. I don't want to say my mom I feel like she'd see it Then she'd be confused that I called her a bitch I mean Which of your grandmothers are still alive? One of them Which one were you talking about though? The one that's dead I guess Because she wouldn't hear it Well technically she's sitting right next to you right now God is listening and Santa Claus And Santa and Other Orbs She wasn't no okay no i i do i think that like i would love to know where that saying like came from because i do think that'll probably tell us a lot about because people love to say that like oh money can't buy you happiness and it's like when it came from someone that had the world at their fingertips and they're just trying to not sound like a pretentious douchebag i do think that it's true i think i do think that it's true if you want it to be true like i think that like Like I heard a quote one time.

50:01It was like I may have been butchering. I may be butchering this, but it's like happiness is what you have minus what you want. So like on any sort of level, like what you have minus what you want. If you don't want anything, then you then you're pretty content. Or if you like there are things that you want. And if you're just a person who needs billions of dollars in order to, like, that's the thing that you're after, like, obviously that's a very difficult thing to do. So that person, hypothetically, would be more miserable than we are. Sure. If it's like, I'm never going to be done and this is what I mean, I have to be in a state of stress and I never take time for myself or whatever.

50:45Maybe that's why people are saying certain things like that. I don't know, but I think it's a stupid thing to say publicly to like an audience. Yeah. Also, because, and again, this is, I know this is the nitpicky person in me breaking this down, but like, it also is entirely dependent on how a person defines happiness. So like, if there are people, and I'm like this to a degree, I'm not afraid to admit it, that like, happiness is tied to a bit of like materialistic stuff, you know? so if that stuff does make people happier than yeah money will bring happiness but also if happiness is not in that it isn't so to say like money doesn't buy you happiness and it's like well i do think that you technically it can there's so much nuance to that obviously but i do think that like people think that they if they had a bigger house it would be better and it would but eventually I think that you get desensitized to your position no matter what and then it's like you because if you move into the neighborhood where everyone's got big houses I think that you adapt to that environment and then you're like comparing yourselves to these people you know Like if you are in the NBA and you're making$7 million a year, it's like I'm fucking chilling.

52:14But around you, these people are making$50,$60 a year. So you're kind of like, oh, I'm actually at the bottom of the tone pole here. So I feel like – and then you get caught up in that race. Like I said, that's why it's like what you just said I agree with. We were saying it depends how you define that, which is why I was saying it's like what you have versus what you want. and if you and that's why i also started this by saying like what is your number of like enough essentially not that these two things are completely tied it wasn't like a fucking thing i planned on doing but uh once you get past a certain point it's like oh i'm fine with being content here and i'm happy to you know kind of do this like some people just need constantly like they try to fill their problems with material things so like i'm gonna buy a car i'm gonna buy a house i'm gonna buy clothes designer stuff watches blah blah blah and then eventually it's just a watch and like you're cool you like the watch it's cool but you come become desensitized to the fact that i've owned this watch for five years but the thing that i was trying to fix by buying a watch is gonna be there so i'll just buy another watch or i'll just buy a you know you're like you can't fix your problems with things yeah but like i said before with that money also does come more access to yeah if you're responsible with mental health mental health services and stuff like that can in a way yeah fix those which is i mean very helpful i i very helpful and is also kind of like an inherent flaw in that whole you know system but like if you have more money you can do the things that make you happy and you can fix the things that make you unhappy so okay so we're saying it can't fix every problem yeah duh okay right so what percentage of problems do you think it could fix let's just give it a number i'm gonna say like 85 85 oh my you take that every day of the week don't you oh yeah yeah of course okay bro if someone came to me and said like yo you're gonna have a billion dollars but you can live with 15 percent you can live with like 15 of your life being problematic yeah you can live with that duh yeah duh of course i don't like i i hate the mentality though of just like like why ask for a billion like you'd be good with like 500 million and it's just like because you're asking me to ask for a billion dollars i know what to do well it's a different thing but you're asking me but where this started is like there could be billionaires that see our clips and watch our show and you don't know dude like that's nuts is that not nuts like that's what the fucking that's what's so crazy about the internet like bro we could just be sitting here talking about the weight of our dicks and like there could be a billionaire like sitting there with a mother of pearl spoon eating caviar on a yacht in the bahamas and they're just like these guys are funny they're not in the bahamas i'm gonna like this not in the bahamas you know what I'm saying?

55:14Yeah. I mean, those are, those are, those are men and women that they lived with the mentality of trying to do things well and look where it got them. If you're going to do things, do it well. I think so. Oh my God. You're so right. Frank, I'm so glad you came up with that. Um, we do have some more sponsors for today. Speaking of money, uh, this one is, what is this? we got skims skims makes underwear um and it used to be just for women now it's for men too you can shop underwear for men and women at skims.com uh they have a five inch boxer brief that is lovely okay i have a couple of pairs of skims they sent them to us and they're very comfortable i like them a lot i know that frank likes them too um you know it's a it's a good i I actually got my Secret Santa some Skims because they asked for underwear.

56:11Ooh, big Skims holiday season. Weird thing to ask your boy for, but he's what it is. Big Skims holiday season. So shop the best underwear for men and women at Skims.com. Let them know we sent you. After you place the order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop-down menu that follows, okay? And lastly here, we have Rocket Money. Rocket Money is an all-in-one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your pocket by canceling your unwanted subscriptions, monitoring your spending and help you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. A lot of people sign up for free trials or they're paying for some online magazine or whatever, some recurring service, and maybe they're not using it or the free trial ran out and now they're paying for it and they're not aware.

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57:28That is rocketmoney.com slash basement. So yeah, go put that money back in your pocket, folks. Rocketmoney.com slash basement. Enjoy that. Love how we transitioned from, like, where did we even start this episode? Euro guy? I have Euro Frank, Destroyler, and drag names. Strollers is the cutest game in the world. It's so fun. I obviously was joking. I knew you wouldn't make fun of it but like you never know no i knew that one pretty well i hope i was hoping the name gave me an opening that i could just rip it to shreds just rip yolanda dumpster to shreds oh my god yolanda dumpster yolanda dumpster oh my god people still like at our shows last year people were showing up still talking about mystique the greek and starla like they they were very popular and that was years ago at this point oh my god dude that was a long time that was almost three years ago good god you know they were they were a big part maybe we bring them back sometime this year good i mean they beat the shit out of our face i'll tell you that they did that was i i couldn't get eyeliner off my eyes for days yeah my fucking eyelashes were not my my eyebrows were glued to my head you were a bearded queen i was i was a fully shaved.

58:48What were you going to say? Not fully, like facial shaved. Yeah, you shaved his pubes just in case. But they... A bearded queen, that is a term. That is a term. I don't know. And then we learned that drag kings is a term. Remember? I did see a clip of it recently and I was like, damn, dude, that's like professional looking makeup. Well, we had a professional makeup artist come, like a drag makeup artist coming in i feel like that took longer than the halloween shit yeah because the halloween they painted our face and just put prosthetics on top of it yeah and this one's like from the like everything though yo it was intense and also like very tight yeah it's tight everything was tight you're like this pulls you and your hair was remember we had to take the wigs off because they were so tight yeah it was intense did they give you boobs no tits yeah i mean i don't remember have some already i don't remember if they gave you boobs i'll tell you what we do drag again we're getting a third oh yeah we're definitely getting oh yeah you'd be good dude i'd be i'm good i do everything i do well see i don't like that this is becoming a joke it's not a joke i I tried to express myself.

1:00:06I gave... And I'm being heartfelt. Like, you guys are killing it. You know? If that unlocks this every time, sure. What? If every time I say, well, he gives me flowers, I'm down. It feels like I'm the butt of some joke now, and I don't like it. Frank, you're telling the joke. I'm not telling a joke. Every time I start talking, you start snickering over there. You're winking right now, you bastard. You're not winking! Put the camera on him, guys. I'm not winking! He's winking. I'm not winking. Yes, Josh. He's so pensive. This is ant thinking. Yeah. What was your drag name again? Venomous Viper.

1:00:47Vesper. Venoma. Venoma Vesper. Venoma Vesper. That's a sexy. What's one of those names back again? I kind of want to have fun with that. I kind of want to do that. I want a new one. I want another one. Yeah. All right. Joey, go pageant queen, Joe. What's random first and last? I don't know. You go to that. It'll probably just give you random words. Random random random random random random random. Gimme gimme gimme. Dolly Swansonite? Dolly Swansonite? Swansonite? Dolly Swansonite? That's kinda sick dude. That's kinda dope. Sounds like a blonde. What movie does that remind me of? Dolly Swansonite?

1:01:20Oh Dumb and Dumber. Yeah. Samsonite! Samsonite? I was way off. That's not a bad one. Ant do one for you. Alright you go. Do another horror one. Do another horror one. Ooh, do a scary one. Yeah, I like to be a spooky. Silva Slater? That's good. No way! That's the best one. How do you get that and I get, like, miss shits a lot or something? That's fucking insane. Which one do you want? Doris Ballsax. Yeah, give me stupid. Okay. Here we go. Zamboni Thong. That's kind of not bad. Zamboni Thong. But Zamboni seems like a last name. Yeah. Yo. Speaking of thong Thong song Heard it recently Still a banger Let me guess where you heard it In your car and you put it on I was at the gym and I put it on Yeah you You're at the gym lifting You're like I really need to hear Cisco I mean no no no I go through it like a I have different songs that come on every now and then And I was just thinking like damn thong song would hit right now And fucking let me tell ya Baby That Like Yo Yeah See now you see it Like the end of the song Also It's crazy how like Operatic he gets at the end About thongs It's thongs Which I wish I loved anything As much As Cisco apparently Loved thongs Yeah In the year of our lord 1999 Yeah That's hell of a time Do you try to time Like reps With parts of songs Yes Yes yes That's why I listen to like upbeat music.

1:03:00Yeah. You know, because it's like. Oh, I meant like I like the climax of the song. You're like. I don't think I've ever described a song as having a climax. Well, you know, like the big moment. The crescendo. Yeah. The crescendo. As we call it in the music biz. That is the right term for sure. I definitely like depending on like if I'm doing squats, I try to do like the most intense song. You know, like really rising. Like, yeah! Because if it's just like a... Like, I've been listening to a lot of Billy Joel, as I told you. And one of the songs that comes on in my playlist is Allentown. Okay. Oh, we're living here in Allentown.

1:03:44Yeah. That's not on my squats playlist. Can't have that. Because you need a little pop, buzz, zing, bam. Yeah. You know? Like, Vienna. Like, it's a great song. Great song. You can't do it during like squats No I could be deadlifting doing that But then You put on scenes from an Italian restaurant You know Things are okay with me these days I got a new job I got a new dog bed I got a new wife I got a new life And the family is fine Oh Yeah Like you see what I'm talking about That's a good one Like it just It needs to be a little more Get me going Get me going Have you added or taken away things from your gym playlist I just let Spotify DJ run that shit Yeah I skip sometimes and he gets tight.

1:04:28I skip and he's like, skip, skip, skip. I'm like, all right, relax. Damn, they're yelling at you? Literally, he goes, skip, skip, skip. Here's your next put. I'm like, bro. Really? Just fucking play the song, bro. So it's what? It's an artificially intelligent DJ who's making fun of you? Apparently, it's a real guy. It's his voice that they used AI to say a bunch of stuff. And then they curate based off of your music taste. So like things I've searched or the songs I've been listening to recently or songs that were popular with me in 2022, something like that. So they'll play songs like that. And then they'll mix in like shit that I haven't listened to.

1:05:04Oh, my God. Love you. But you're you're like running a workout. Music is probably miserable. It's like it's like my running whiny white men that sing into a bingo hall. And like that's their form of happiness. You know, my running playlist is like that. My no, my my I lately at the gym, like I'm it's pretty strictly 50 cent in camera. Oh, hell yeah. That's it. Hell yeah. That's all. But like when I'm running, I'm trying to keep my heart rate low. So I try to put on slower shit. I listened to the the the what's it called the other day? The I forgot the actual name of the song. There it go by Joel Santana the other day at the gym.

1:05:50Yeah. I don't sing that one at the gym. Also, my gym is mostly like 98-year-old men, so. They'd probably be like pumped if I was whistling at them. Yeah. But that shit gets you going. Some of that old, like the old. Old dips that shit. Early 2000s hip-hop is the fucking best. Welcome back, Joe. Welcome back. Early 2000s. I agree, though. Like, just the old camera and 50 songs. Or I listen to some Diplomat shit, too. Yeah. But I used to not do that. Like, there are times, like, back in the day, I would just rip, like, very poppy music. I could see you listening to Celine Dion at the gym. Uh, on my running playlist.

1:06:32Really? Bro, what's the song? They were nice when we were so good. What song is that? Oh, it's all coming back to me. That's on my running playlist, and I'm telling you right now. That does have a bit of a punch to it. It does. And it's all coming back to me, Joe You start taking off Like, I could see Creed doing a cover of that Yeah I could I could see it Do me a favor That you're begging for it Run to Creed And tell me it's not going to be the best run of your life I'm sure that would be, too Like, those are some good running songs I need songs that feel like I'm watching myself run in a movie You know what I'm saying?

1:07:13like if you see people running and like an inspiring motivating part of a movie and you're like what song's playing there that's the songs that i listen to do you run or not you but like do you think people run to like classical music like fucking beethoven and like god i hope not i mean that would kind of some of it would be sick dun dun dun dun i mean you're just running to beethoven's fifth or ninth whatever the fuck i don't think he had a knife i don't even know Isn't there like a thing? I'm not saying that I know this. This is good. Isn't there a thing that like, there's like a superstition that after a certain symphony, the composer dies?

1:07:55Oh, I'm not familiar. Is that, you know what I'm talking about. That's too deep for me. Really? Yeah. It's like no one gets past their eighth symphony. I don't even know what a symphony is. No one writes a symphony. I think it's just like a song. I feel like we haven't said the word correctly on the first try. Symphony. Symphony. Symphony. Symphony. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I do like to do when I get home? Not all the time, but sometimes I like to throw on, like, Louis Armstrong or something. Ooh! Hell yeah! You know what I mean? Just to make it feel like, oh, what is this, like an old flappers club?

1:08:30Yeah! Spark up a cigarette at my own home. You know what's a good one to throw on? We have a vinyl. Ray Charles. Ray Charles. Hell yeah. Ella Fitzgerald. I have one of her. We got some Aretha Franklin, some Ray Charles that goes on there. Who's the one? Who's Penny's from Heaven? Why can't I think of her name? Bobby, Bobby, Deema. To me, to me. Is that Paul Anka? No. Paul Anka. While he's looking that up, it seems that for composers, The Curse of the Ninth, it's more like the 27 Club now. You know, some people make it pass, but a lot of them on the Ninth Symphony have passed. A lot of them. That's weird, dude.

1:09:13Yeah, the 27 Club. That was a freaky one. Oh, my God, dude. I remember it being like in middle school, like, don't carry around a white lighter. The curse of the 27 is going to get you. Because it was like all those like famous musicians that died at 27 had like a white lighter on them when they passed away. Oh, it's I don't know if it's true. Billie Holiday was who I was thinking of, by the way. That was a cover, I guess. But like, yeah, it was like all of them had like a white lighter in their pocket. and it's like, so you didn't carry a white lighter? I didn't carry lighters. Me neither. I never smoked.

1:09:45Because I didn't smoke. But it would be like, if someone had one, I'd be like, don't! Get, put it down! And then I'd do the thing where I'd take it and I'd pop it by hitting it on the ground. Nice. You remember those? Hell yeah. Dude, it's sick. Or you make crackhead lighters? Crackhead's just getting an absolute stray out of nowhere. Yeah, dude, leave them alone. Leave crackheads alone, guys. They're already cracked up. Well, they need higher flames. Did, oh, so you know what a crackhead lighter is? Yeah, of course. I often forget. Of course it's nuts. Like, you grew up in Maspeth. I forget that that's Queens.

1:10:17That's fair. Maspeth? Is it Maspeth? Nope. You didn't grow up in Maspeth? It's close. Middle Village. Well, there we go. Why don't you tell the address as well? I mean, we know where we're going. I said you grew up there. I'm not saying where you live now. I said Joe Joe. Now you live three blocks down the way. Yeah, Middle Village. Fifth Street. Green Door. Yep. All right. I mean, people unlocked. Like, do they still make? Look for the house with the flooded basement. Look for the house with the twisted tea bottles in the window. And people screaming at Mario Kart. Look at that, yeah. If you're very quiet, you'll be able to hear them somehow.

1:10:59You're just going to hear, I did that just for the story. I didn't do that to try to gag bait you. I did see you, by the way, your malort calendar for the 25th day you didn't gag, right? I did not. Two days. Two days you didn't gag. Wait, what was the other one? 14? 14 or 15. You didn't gag? Don't remember that day either. Yeah, you said like you blacked out that day. Yeah. Did you? I came home from the bar. I forgot to do it. I don't think I've ever seen you drunk. I don't get drunk. Oh, clearly you do. I get, no, like I'm saying I get drunk. I hit a point and I don't go past that. I kind of just fall asleep.

1:11:37Like my body shuts down. That's how I am. Yeah. I mean, that's how I was. I don't really, I couldn't even tell you the last time I was like drunk. If I'm on Red Bull Vodkas, you'll see me. I'll start being, you'll see me. You'll see me. Red Bull Vodkas. You'll know me. Because it keeps up the sleep person awake. Interesting. You know what I'm saying? Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you could make the, if you, I know your answer is going to be, but like, if you could have one drink all night um this is gonna be like jameson ginger jameson seltzer the slice of orange one drink all night it's pretty close i mean i can't say like wine right you could say whatever you want oh i thought you were talking about america baby oh i would say wine then all right well would you like a cocktail i would yours is probably miller light I mean I like light beer I'm definitely getting to a point in my life I mean I'll tell you right now I'll fucking You can cream me up all night I'll take a Guinness all night dude That's a good answer too Actually I lied I had three Corona Lights the other day And then I was bombed I was like what happened?

1:12:44What's going on? Do you remember the introduction of Bud Platinums? I do Wait is Corona Light like that? Or is it lighter? No I think I just I'm not used to beer And I had three in a row and I was just, I felt it. I was like, whoa. Yo, probably the worst time in my life I've ever blacked out. I had a bottle of cheap champagne and a six pack of Bud Platinums. I was on another planet, dude. I couldn't fucking believe how drunk I was. What percent is Bud Platinum? I think it's like, not like super high, but like compared to like Bud Light, it's high. Those are 4.2. I think it's like 10? 10 %? Whoa, that's high.

1:13:21Maybe eight, maybe eight, maybe eight. Eight's even high too. Can you look at Butt Light Platinum? Six. Six? But that's still, it's like, that's higher than a normal beer. Which, but coupled with, like, bottom shelf. It was Andre Champagne. No disrespect to Andre, but. Do you, dude, there's a place over here, and me and Nicole went to brunch there. And we were like, oh, yeah, we'll, like, do a mimosa. And she's like, do you want to just get a carafe? She's, and so I'm thinking, like, oh. because usually when people are doing that it's like oh you get more money's worth if you just get like another two instead of ordering four separately if you're gonna have more than one so that was what i was thinking it's like oh all right sure and she comes over with a carafe opens a bottle and pours the whole thing in and i'm like whoa i was like we don't want to drink a bottle i feel like i i don't think a bottle of champagne is that much it's not that crazy It just wasn't in the cards at the moment.

1:14:21I was like, we're having like a nice little brunch. And it was like, comes over with a bottle of champagne. I was like, I thought it was going to be like one extra glass. Yo, I am a problem at a, at a, at a bottomless brunch. Yeah. I am a fucking problem. Especially when it's, when it's timed. I mean, you're, you're creating competition. Yeah, when it's like, yo, you have, you're, you have a two hour bottomless brunch. I'd be like, don't move. The first time I ever, I don't know if it was the first time, but one of the first times I ever went to one, it was like myself, Davino, Danny, and I'm sure there was like one or two other people there.

1:14:56Yo, we legitimately had the server just standing next to the table and like would refill his cup. I would drink mine. And they stayed there for like eight minutes. Like they just didn't leave the table. Davino, he like threw up in the bathroom. I think I broke a glass on the floor accidentally. I offered to buy it That's why My sister was there Because I felt bad Because I broke the glass I was like I'll buy the glass And they were like We don't give a fuck About the glass We don't know What it costs Yeah I don't work But I felt so bad I was just like I'll buy it I'll buy it Yeah You know Good times Have you ever had Irish coffee?

1:15:38I don't like coffee Oh yeah That's right Have you? That's not really An ant thing Is Bud Light In a coffee? does that count blood light in a coffee no i've had hot toddies like maybe once like oh hot toddy have you had an irish coffee no i was just thinking about the other day because like it came up like or i was at a bar um there's a bar near me that has like great dinner so we went for dinner but the person who was sitting next to me ordered a hot toddy and i was like i don't know if i like hot drinks uh i like the one or two times i've had them i like them but you're right i feel like it feels wrong yeah what are we doing like it definitely feels wrong also like mulled wine i think i did coffee jameson and bailey's once it was pretty good so yeah so then you basically yeah it was pretty good i'm just trying to he jogged my memory a little bit yeah that's pretty good that's pretty tasty yeah i mean if i was a coffee drinker i could see that being a pretty appealing things i do like watching videos of people making irish coffees you ever see the guys making like 40 of them in a row no i wanted somehow at the end of my before the end of my life do the thing where they hold up like 12 shakers and they like pour it out pour all the fucking drinks and they're like rainbow colored oh they're all different yeah shit is so sick dude that is cool do you remember when we did skittle shots were those colored yes they were i so at a bar.

1:17:08Oh, I didn't do them at a bar. I made them at home. I bought... Oh, I thought you made me do one at Dippemar Station. We probably did. I did a lot of drinking of alcohol at Dippemar Station. The greatest bar that has died. That bar was great. That bar was fucking great. We were 21, so every bar was great. I mean... 21. Do you remember? 6, 7. Oh, I thought this was what you were doing. Oh, you're saying... No, but that's where we used to go. No, but I made the Skittle shots. I remember that. And I thought of them as like, oh, it's like a mixed drink. And I had like a cup of it. And I was like, oh, this is just a cup of straight vodka.

1:17:48It was disgusting. But it was like, it tasted like Skittles. I'll say that. You guys made Skittles. No, but I do rainbow shots. I could do the pouring. Really? You can do that? It's different colors. I did it twice. I'll do that. We could do it. It's just different like. Yeah, you just layer it. it's alcohols right no not really towards the top it's just mixers like oh the first one's grenadine and orange juice essentially oh in in college it was a big thing that people would do the gummy bears or gummy worms where they would just soak gummy bears or gummy worms in vodka and then you just eat the gummy bears and are you jello shot guys i like a jello shot but it's a little too much work for me to get drunk i've had i've had a jello shot in my day that could mean A thousand?

1:18:34That's what I mean This is the answers we get from him Like I've consumed one before Do you like them? There's been hundreds Um Yeah I like them Yeah It's just like It doesn't feel like you're taking shots I need It's a little overtly sexual Just to get drunk Like I don't want to have to I'm sucking the fuck out of this thing I don't want to have to perform A sexual act To have a drink That's the worst part about jello shots Is that you get them And it's like I'm sucking the fuck out of this thing Yeah I'm It's fucking crazy Whoa Yeah, that was crazy. The trick is to make them upside down. What?

1:19:08Make them upside down. The trick is to make, when you make them, upside down. Here's a better trick. I've never made them, and I'm not gonna. I think I've made them once before. It was like, I remember as a kid, we always hosted New Year's parties. I remember my mom and my family used to make trays of these bastards. I do remember that, too. And honestly, you might make some. You should.

1:19:40the fact that we're still going we're done um you did it well frank the audio only i was gonna say losers what did you say i was gonna say the audio only listeners

1:19:57they're probably like did this cut what what what happened i think they can hear you doing something. Well, you know what? Have a jello shot this year. Have a jello shot for the new year. I mean, this is coming out well after the new year. Yeah. You know, but like... I'm talking to you guys. Oh. Have a jello shot. Should we make some? Me? Oh, I'm not going to see you before New Year. No. We could do a jello shot power hour. No, we cannot. Guys, that would... I wouldn't be able to fucking walk from this. Bro, I don't know that I could eat 60 Jell-Os in an hour. That's insane. That is a lot of Jell-O, dude.

1:20:38It's a lot of Jell-O. It's a lot of Jell-O. I would, like, imagine throwing up Jell-O. Dude, do you remember Power Hour? I know. Do I? I know, but, like, that's such a fucking... Like, yo, it would be like, oh, there would be, like, YouTube playlists of, like, early 2000s hip-hop Power Hour and every different song. It was the shit. Bro, we used to sit there with shot glasses of beer, like psychopaths. I remember. Damn. Did we do one on Patreon? I think you... We did years ago. I think you did one. I think we did one years ago. I don't think we've done one recently. Why did we time it? Oh, we just had a timer ago?

1:21:09Probably, yeah. I still think you should do one with pizza rolls. Oof. I could easily do that. You think so? I think between the two of us, we could do a pigs in a blanket one. No, that's a lot. 60 pigs in a blanket between the two of us. 30 each. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. What? Without trying. I think we can. Power half hour? Power half hour. I mean, why? Because you're both taking one. No, he does one. I do one. Oh, every two minutes you take one? Yeah. Come on. All right, we can do it. Easily. Let's see what we got. You think you can do it? I could, by myself, I don't think so. What if there was$3 ,000 on the line?

1:21:48Oh, well, hold on a sec. I didn't know money was involved. I can very easily do it. If money was involved. If I knew money was involved. It's too late because he offered me first and you saw that. Is it a challenge? I'll do it No I said what if What ifs turn into maybes And then maybes turn into yeses That's crazy And then maybes turn into yeses Um No This kid loves a challenge Are you kidding me? I know it's insane He'll do it for fucking nothing Such a whore for money He'll do it for nothing We gotta find something good And he'll do it Uh I just don't want him to yak I mean I I pray We've never had someone throw up on this show We haven't We've gotten close Yeah I thought you were going to throw up once.

1:22:29There were a couple times. Oh, maybe when you shoved your hand down your throat. That's what I was going to say. I was like, what? Yeah, that one will do it. There are some times. We could do like, you know what would be miserable? If it was like our least favorite foods and there was like 10 versions of them for a power hour. So like if yours was just like pickles and what else does he hate? I thought it was just 10 versions of pickles. Wouldn't that be? I mean, do you really hate pickles that much? Yeah. It's not good. Pickles, Malort. Jeez. That's really good. Forget it. Pickles soaked in Malort.

1:23:10Ooh. That's a disgusting thought. I think that would probably taste pretty good. Pickleback, but instead of whiskey, it's Malort. Oh, man. That's a bad prank. You double gag. That's a bad prank. You double gag. There we go.

1:23:28Yep. All right. That's for those audio losers. Yeah. Or audio only losers. But yeah, well, this is our last episode before we're going into the new year. But it is New Year's now. I mean, we're in the mid-December. You're mid-January at the moment. Where are you at this point? You fucking show the people your sausage at this point in time. I'm not going to do that. but like the showing the people how the sausage is made that's the reference I don't think you would show people your your cock thank you for laying all that out I want to make sure I say that very clearly thank you because everything else I'm saying this episode is being taken out of context I'm coming the butt of a joke because I'm trying to better myself and how are you going to better yourself again I'm not doing this alright uh and never mind Frank we're going to find you the Frank cover is all over patreon.com slash the basement yard tby tour merch uh thank you we love you i hope that the holidays treated everyone safe if you celebrated any of those holidays

1:24:33and you can find just kidding new year say me you guys can follow me at the joe standing i'll go follow the show at the basement yard and that is all see you guys next time wait at the joe standing out it would change did i say that yep well don't follow that account we don't know who it is

1:25:12We'll see you next time.