#539 - The Heated Rivalry Review

26 Jan 2026 · 1 h 21 min · 32 chapters

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In short

The Basement Yard re-records and re-reviews the romance series Heated Rivalry after their earlier YouTube upload was age-restricted. They discuss the show’s fast, explicit start, its hockey setting, and how the relationship is portrayed as both lustful and emotionally layered, while also debating how much “hockey” versus romance the show delivers.

Guests

No external guests. The hosts are Frank, Ant, and Joe (plus “Aunt” mentioned as a recurring reference to Ant). They also reference a “patreon episode” they previously recorded.

Key claims

YouTube age-restricted the prior review because the episode discussion was “graphically” explicit. The show is “well acted,” starts “zero to 60” quickly, and has queer representation presented as a feel-good love story. The flirting/messaging between the leads is funny but also intentionally coy. The hockey is mostly background/filmed on-ice rather than full games.

Notable examples

Gym scenes with intense proximity and suggestive camera work; text messages between pseudonyms “Jane and Lily” (about playing Boston tonight and being “hard”); comparisons to NHL rivals like Crosby vs. Ovechkin; the Russian character’s dominant flirting style; the show being based on a book series (e.g., Heated Rivalry, Game Changer, The Long Shot, Common Goal).

Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.

Chapters

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YouTube's Age Restrictions and Heated Rivalry

0:45 to 3:08

Discussion on the impact of YouTube's restrictions on their previous episode about Heated Rivalry.

“if you're seeing this, you're probably a little confused.”

Reviewing Heated Rivalry's Characters

3:08 to 4:36

The hosts analyze the characters and themes of the show Heated Rivalry.

“How's that catamaran he just got off of?”

Cultural Implications of LGBTQ+ in Sports

4:36 to 6:50

They discuss the challenges of being LGBTQ+ in the world of professional sports.

“We're not going to know what we're talking about.”

The Acting and Storytelling in Heated Rivalry

6:50 to 7:35

The hosts share their thoughts on the acting quality and storytelling techniques in the show.

Romantic Tension and Humor in Heated Rivalry

7:35 to 8:42

Discussion of romantic tension and humorous elements present in the show.

Flirting and Messaging Dynamics in the Show

8:42 to 10:00

Analyzing the flirting techniques and messaging dynamics between characters.

“Like do you go to the gym and if someone's on the treadmill next to you You're like I'm racing this guy.”

Exploring Shane Hollander's Character Development

10:00 to 14:00

Discussion on Shane Hollander's character development and his struggle with identity.

Analyzing Shane Hollander's Flirting Skills

14:00 to 18:21

The hosts discuss the character Shane Hollander's awkward flirting and emotional maturity.

“But in between the sexual messaging it's just like like very in depth stuff about hockey.”

Pop Culture References and Ebert Roper

18:21 to 19:00

The hosts humorously explore the Ebert and Roper film critique duo and their significance.

“Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins.”

The Allure of the Show's Characters

19:00 to 20:30

The discussion shifts to the hosts comparing themselves with characters in a show and the reactions from fans.

“I saw him like, I think maybe it was at the Golden Globes or something, but he was on like a carpet.”
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The Importance of Strong Show Openings

20:30 to 21:30

The hosts debate how impactful opening scenes are in retaining audience interest.

“I honestly, all jokes aside, like I do think the show started out super hot and there's a lot of gay scenes.”

Queer Representation in Media

21:30 to 23:20

The hosts discuss the significance of queer representation in television and their personal opinions on a specific show.

“and it's like, and everyone record their reaction to watching it, because the opening scene is like, this guy and this woman laying in bed, and he's just a hug.”

Character Dynamics and Plot Twists

23:36 to 28:00

The hosts dive into character dynamics, plot developments, and engaging moments from the show.

“He's at least on the board of directors.”

Discussion on Hockey and Its Adaptations

28:00 to 32:33

Exploring the connection between hockey and its literary adaptations.

“I'm not here for the rushing round, but.”

Discussion on Hockey and Its Adaptations

32:54 to 33:39

Exploring the connection between hockey and its literary adaptations.

“So if you want to talk to a therapist, they make it very easy for you to onboard and get matched with a qualified therapist.”

Counting Holes and Nostalgic Stories

34:59 to 35:11

A light-hearted discussion about counting and childhood memories.

“We are so grateful to people that have put us ever so close.”

Counting Holes and Nostalgic Stories

35:37 to 42:04

A light-hearted discussion about counting and childhood memories.

“It's easier for my eyes to break it up like that.”

Childhood Basement Adventures

42:04 to 44:26

Recollections of reckless childhood antics in their basement.

“That was like a, so many times I've done that.”

Binge-Watching a Mystery Series

44:27 to 45:59

Discussing the thrill of binge-watching the series 'Defending Jacob'.

“Bro, speaking of Chris Evans, I just watched a show, Defending Jacob.”

Accents and Their Appeal

46:00 to 50:38

A lively conversation about the accents they wish they had and why.

“You wish you had I wish I had a Some Sort of Like UK accent UK?”

The Diversity of Accents

50:39 to 53:43

Exploring the uniqueness and humor of various regional accents.

“It is crazy to think about accents because we live in the same place, but it's so different.”

Cultural Reflections on Language

54:47 to 56:01

A discussion about language skills and their cultural significance.

“I used to be able to fully understand it, but now I'm losing it.”

Exploring Heritage

56:01 to 57:48

The hosts discuss their ethnic backgrounds and experiences related to Italian culture.

“yeah Yeah Good job Yes Yes Thank you If we can get your multi-billionaire dad with giant nuts to fucking like us That'd be sick But you Are you full Italian?”

Bizarre Show Moments

59:03 to 1:00:10

The hosts share funny and awkward moments from their Boston show including an encounter with a fan's dad.

Ice Cream and Hot Dog Adventures

1:00:10 to 1:01:56

Discussion about a memorable ice cream spot and the temptation of hot dogs.

“They gave us a cake after we won World's Sexiest Podcast.”

Life's Simple Pleasures

1:01:56 to 1:03:44

The hosts discuss their food choices and nostalgic memories associated with hot dogs.

“And she's like, it'd be crazy to have one.”

Dessert Opinions

1:03:44 to 1:08:29

A lively debate on various pastries and cookies, revealing personal preferences and tastes.

“And I'm like, oh my God, yeah, but let's wait until baseball starts.”

Culinary Culture Clash

1:08:29 to 1:10:01

The hosts explore the differences and similarities between Italian and Greek pastries.

“Dude, I will so quickly get rainbow cookies in here.”

Pastry Planning and Preferences

1:10:01 to 1:11:38

The hosts discuss various pastry options and their favorites, including baklava and tiramisu.

“I texted the person who will text the connect, yes.”

Culinary Custards Explained

1:11:39 to 1:12:28

A humorous conversation about custard and its many forms, including flan and Boston cream donuts.

“When shit has custard, I'm like, this is probably good.”

Rivalry and Mockery

1:12:29 to 1:15:58

The hosts reflect on personal experiences with cultural identity and the humor that arises from rivalry.

“I've never been identified and attacked because of my nationality and heritage.”

Ideas for a Future Pastry Episode

1:15:59 to 1:17:52

The hosts brainstorm concepts for a future episode centered on pastries and invite the audience to engage.

“You could get your almond milk or whatever you fucking drink in Brooklyn.”
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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade Electrolytes. Welcome back to the basement yard.

0:21Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how's it going, bud? He's upset. Ant, you upset? I couldn't be more upset. We're all upset because YouTube is being a little bit, a little, you know. Homophobic. Say it. Say it. Well, just be careful. You're pointing at me. You saw that point? Shit. No, no, no. Damn, you actually did. And this counts in addition to, so for those of you guys that don't know, if you're seeing this, you're probably a little confused. You're probably doing the old-timey, like, cleaning of the eyes thing that they did back in the old cartoons. This is attached to an episode that we previously recorded.

0:55Yes, we're wearing different outfits. Joe is also, what you don't see, he's wearing a butt plug. Why? Because we have to revisit the conversation of heated rivalry. That's not why I'm, wait, hold on, I'm not wearing it. Wearing it? Like, you have one? We have to, we have to, no. They also technically don't know we're wearing different clothes yet. That's true. We had to record the beginning of this episode again because we put out an episode talking about heated rivalry, and we watched the first – well, I watched two episodes, and they watched the first episode. So we all were getting an idea of the show, and we started reviewing it because that's what people wanted, and we put it out on YouTube for our patrons a week ahead, and it just kept getting age-restricted.

1:34Yes. Why? Because YouTube was just like, hold on. They were twirling their mustache. I imagine big YouTube has a twirly mustache. And they were just like, what are they talking about? We got to make sure they don't pander this to the youngest. To their defense, it was a pretty graphically discussed episode. Yeah, I mean, they were probably right. I will take full blame. I think that I didn't hold back on the review. You are the Hollander in this situation. No. The blame, if the blame is. No. If the blame is Ilya, you are Hollander, and you've got to take it. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. Oh, right. I have to take the blame.

2:18But, yeah, so we're just— The long shaft of the blame. Right, be careful. Please. But we have to rediscuss it so we can put it in this episode, but we don't want to throw out the episode completely. So we're just going to redo our review of Heated Rivalry, because last time— I got a little too hot, a little too heated. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. And so we're going to just be careful about the way that we... By the way, hot in the language that we use, we didn't get like hot and bothered. Or at least I didn't over here. I think I can confirm you didn't. He seemed to get a little hot and bothered.

2:49He seemed to get a little... H and B. Yeah. H and B. He's like, and then they were doing this. And then they were doing... Yeah. So you guys will never be able to cross-reference this because now this is Basement Yard Lost Media. Oh, so now Frank's going to just lie. Joey was sweating, and he opened his chest midway through the conversation. Opened my chest. Like his shirt. You, like, zipped your quarter zip. Down, you know. How's that catamaran he just got off of? No. No. No, all right. Well. But he was just like, he was doing this. Like an old-timey racist Southern woman. You know what I'm talking about?

3:26You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Just like, that's what you were doing. No, no. There is no way to cross-reference what we're saying. It's fine. But we watched the first episode of Heated Rivalry, and now time has passed. I watched a lot more of it, and now I know what happens in this first season. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I have an idea. I'm not going to spoil the entire thing. Don't worry. I mean, we're definitely going to spoil the first episode and probably the second one. But we're going to spoil a little bit of that. But we also need to talk about it in a way that we are, uh allowing our video overlords to accept you know we gotta we gotta you know we gotta get around this so they don't unalive us you know what i'm saying yeah yeah we need to make it's the right we need to make sure that we're using the right terminology so big youtube yeah doesn't take the as you were saying the long shaft of blame and giving it to you again right you know and just you're walking on thin ice yeah i think if anything first of all skating on ice hockey um now we're here now we're here now we're here let's just let's just go for it heated rivalry i knew going in that this show was g a g a y and it gets really off to a good start immediately well so people told us to watch the show which we so many people we openly were just like hold on a sec like take a step back right you know like we get that the internet is like fully shipping us but we were like wow are we proud of frank or what and i just pointed fuck um oh cursing but i'm proud of you for knowing that that that terminology i that's old that's a that's a that's a term as old as time don't ruin it yeah but they were just like you guys have to watch this and we were both like before we recorded that patreon episode we were just like why did they why like they really are like really driving this home but joey after that episode he came to aunt nine he was like okay he popped his collar on his you know vineyard vines quarter zip yep and vineyard vines columbia hey i want you and uh he was like let's watch it give the people what they want yeah give a nice review initial reviews yes yes uh how do i how do we how do we make sure we we kind of I want to say I thought that there would be more of a warm-up before we got to you thought that they had to make the call to the bullpen before they just started pitching well okay I I thought we would see a slap shot of something first I mean before you get a slap shot you need a wrist shot I think is what you're referencing I know hockey no that's not that's not how that would happen.

6:21See, too much references now. It's not going to be a review. We're not going to know what we're talking about. Because I'm confused by what you're saying. What I meant was, I thought we would see hockey first, to some extent, before, like, a kiss. Well, I did see it before, like, a kiss. Yeah. Well, you need a wine and dine, Ant. He's a little, like, you need to take him out, and then he'll order the lobster. Yeah, there's a lot of sexual tension between the two main characters, and in my eyes, they kind of, like, signify Sidney Crosby and alexander ovechkin now imagine those two dudes were getting in love in the nhl in 2008 like they had like blackberries in the show yes i think we what we said in our initial review as people that grew up at that time that was the we were we were 16 years old when the show when the first episode is set because i understand that there are some time jumps what a tough time to to be to be gay in hockey yeah i mean anywhere anywhere let's make that abundantly clear but professional sports definitely in professional sports because i don't think at that point in time there had been any openly gay athletes i'm not sure i think michael sam was the first but that wasn't until like 2010 2011 wow i thought it was after that but i don't know regardless we understand what it was like because back then you know we've openly said like you know you use hand lotion your friends call you gay yeah you know you you're you you you you like girls you know you're a romantic that was gay too back apparently that's coming back as gay don't get me started because simp when people are like you like your girlfriend you like your wife you're a simp yeah i'm like what am i supposed to do i don't get me started on it you know how i feel about it my brain melts down when i try to figure that out god i hate that but it it really did like you know you're seeing like the first episode you're like all right it's like about an hour long maybe like 50 minutes long and you're like maybe at the end they'll do like a little like wink and nod to like this is going to be romantic yeah they like they they got in there like 12 minutes in oh they're lusting they're there and they're like lusting and busting can we say that no i don't think i'm careful judges take that out i think we're okay no that's fine i think lb a little lb a little lb yeah yeah and like the camera shots are like like it's like a shot like zooming in on like a load of laundry you know what I'm saying like not a literal load of laundry like a load of laundry yeah oh well sorry balls can we say that now oh oh you're talking about a full bag a full bag yeah yeah yeah yeah bag a dumpster bag of laundry yeah exactly you know let's be careful here and like the like they're like panting like there's that scene where they're like they get to the the gym and they're like working out next to each other and it's like oh yeah you know and like they're just working out Yeah, yeah.

9:15Have you ever done that by the way? Like do you go to the gym and if someone's on the treadmill next to you You're like I'm racing this guy. Absolutely not Really? Yeah, no, no way. I mean I usually lose But like if someone gets on the treadmill next to me I'm like I'm not getting off until they get off It depends how many treadmills we're around. If it's just me and them. No, it's whoever's right next to me I just I just meant like I'll do it to a woman too. If she's there I'm just like I'm not getting off until she gets off. And then I usually get off because I'm like I'm exhausted I don't I am so in my own zone first of all i hate cardio so my only mentality doing cardio i've told you guys this is like how much until this is done right yeah i need to get off here as quickly as i can that's why i'm trying to create a competition so maybe i'd stop focusing on that i'm like how fast is she going i'm gonna go quicker and then i just burn out and i'm on the floor but that happened to those guys and they were on the floor across from each other then they got some crotch shots going they got crotch shots i think weren't they like sitting like open-legged like a praying man yeah yeah yeah They were like Almost scissoring From across the room And then he was just like We can't say that They were doing arts and crafts It's true They were They were doing arts and crafts They were doing arts and crafts Across the room Playing rock, paper, scissors Rock, paper, scissors Rock, paper, scissors From across the room And he's just like There was tension Was building though He was like Take my water Yeah And it was just like Whoa And then he starts drinking it And he's just like More Yeah And that's when you know You're like This is this episode I mean we knew what it was Can you imagine being like um like uh america is known for the people in the south is where like the open racists and homophobes are okay okay that's where like the open ones are they're sprinkled everywhere but you find them most the phobes and could you imagine being like a 70 year old just racist piece of shit because racism and homophobic tendencies tend to go hand in hand just like well i like hockey i'm gonna watch this heat of robbery is about two the two men playing a game yeah you know play and and then you find out they're watching that they're playing a game all right yeah the game of love the game of love i will say this and i said it before i will continue to say it again from what I saw from the episode I thought it was well acted I thought that are those both those kids first like job you know that's a really good question I don't think maybe not their first job but like their first thing I think the dude that did uh that played Ilya the Russian I think he played like was in other stuff but nothing on the the scale of the scale of this in terms of people talking about it yeah but I thought it was well acted I thought the story from what I saw was well done you know typical romance I could tell you that first of all when I watched the first episode I was like damn they're getting after it but then like I watched the second episode um also I said this when we recorded it the first time this is a real thing but I really I really thought those episodes were 30 minutes so like they were flying by but they were an hour long and i was like time time flies when you're having a good time it's got its hooks in me i will say that oh yeah it's got something else in you maybe don't no but it's it's got its hooks in me for sure um but then as the story progresses you're like oh okay this is like a you can kind of see where it's going in the first two episodes but when you watch the rest of it you're like this is it's got its hooks in you it's a it's a feel-good thing i mean i'm gonna be a typical lefty and say like you know i love a good love story you know like i of course like there are certain things i can and can't connect to but i thought it was well done from what i saw you know i i know that people have said like continue watching i haven't yet but it gets to a point where like it continues the story and and it is very much in the zeitgeist people are talking about it and i think people are talking about it because it goes from zero to 60 in like five seconds dude and also like the the way the run the russian dude is he's he's the dom like he's dom and uh well hollander russianly and he and the way that he sort of like flirts at times like the text messages that he sends are hilarious yeah because they text each other under a pseudonym Jane and Lily.

13:41Jane and Lily and people like I think if they took all of five seconds to see that and figure it out they'd put it together. Well that was another thing it's like you're getting a text from Jane and it's like oh we play Boston tonight are you hard? It's like yeah they're gonna know who that is. They're gonna know who that is. Come on. But in between the sexual messaging it's just like like very in depth stuff about hockey. You know what I mean? Good luck in the playoffs. I'm jerking it right now. Yeah, exactly. Just, like, get it in there. We're getting excited. We're getting excited a little bit.

14:17Mute that. It's fine. Where's this thing at again? Oh, I'll take that out. Getting excited. But, yeah, it's, like, stuff like that. Like, those are hilarious. But, yeah. Go ahead. I think it would be remiss to not bring up the fact that how, like, bad Shane Hollander is at kind of, like, flirting and hiding it a little bit. Because I think that the story that I saw is that there is a sense of like, I'm finally being able to be myself, but I do need to restrict it to a degree. No, that's not what he means. I mean when like other people. People are like, oh, yo, your boy's on TV talking about the Russians.

14:50He's not my boy. What? He's not. He's like a middle schooler. We're not in love and kissing. Yeah. It's like, bro, be a little more coy here. Well, maybe that's part of the layering of the story. That he is not allowed to be at an emotional maturity level to deal with something like that. Because society at that time didn't allow people to be open enough to deal with that on their own. Oh! I'm like fucking Ebert Roper. I don't even know who that is. I know the name, but I don't know who that is. Did you say you ate something? Ebert Roper. Oh. I'm like Ebert and Roper. You thought that he said something?

15:22I was like, whoa, that's like I ate Roper? I don't... What is it? What is it? That? You wanna... You wanna know who Ebert... I think it's two people actually. I think it's like Roger Ebert and Mike Roper. Mike feels wrong, but... Mike is right. But they were like a famous movie reviewing duo that would like... They... No, I think they were just, they were very good at breaking down symbolism and allegories in film. That's why I know those names. The Drake song. Two thumbs up, Ebert and Roper. I was likening myself to the skills of Ebert and Roper and saying that I was able to break it down because as you're sitting there and oogling and ogling and making, you know, oh my God, these guys are baking a cake together.

16:12Yeah. They looked like a Pisces at one time. Oh, did they? No, but they took turns. I mean, you did watch, so like during the initial review, you were open that you watched more episodes than we did. I did, yes. And then since then, you have continued to watch. Yeah. So, it's got its hooks. I mean, yeah, good. I mean, I'm not, what am I going to say? Don't watch. No, no, I'm just saying. I'm not waiting for you guys to watch every episode and review together. I'm saying I'm off to the races here. It's got its hooks in me. What am I going to do? No one is, yeah. I got the bug. I got the hockey bug.

16:42Oh, okay. I was going to say. What? I got the bug. You know, you got to be careful. People thought it was an illness at one point in time. Gainess? Yes. Oh, that's not what I meant. And then I believe in the DSM three, maybe earlier versions, it was diagnosed. When you start talking about acronyms, I get diagnostic, diagnostic, statistic, manual. It's like the, like two times fast, diagnostic, statistic, manual, diagnostic, statistic, manual. It is, we're on the DSM five. It's pretty good. But in previous iterations, I never told you, I think I've, I've told you this story. I had a class in college of normal psychology and we just went through like mental illnesses and understanding, blah, blah, blah.

17:22It was a very interesting class. And we took a test. And one of the tests was what social norm now was once diagnosed as a mental illness. And I knew our teacher was gay. So I went to her and I was like, listen, I know the answer. Or I think I know it. But I don't want to write this down and you think I'm a piece of shit. And she's like, what do you think it is? I was like, I don't want to say it. And she's like, what is that? I was like, okay. She goes, yes, okay. And I was like, all right, go. But it was categorizing. Oh, you like got up in the middle of a test? Yeah. Because I'd finished. I'd finished and I went to hand it in.

18:01Got a budget. And five. And five. But it was. It was a diagnosis of mental illness. When you said the bug, I thought you were like doing one of those. No, no. I meant like, you know, I'm hooked. But I will say that this doesn't happen often, even though people think I look like everyone in the world. But there's a guy in the show that I actually. Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. We feel like we look alike.

18:38But he looks like, this may be too niche, I don't know, but if you've ever seen the TikToks where people take like, they'll take like Timothee Chalamet's face and it'll be like, this is what Timothee Chalamet's face, if you made it look perfect and they like oh like the symmetry the symmetry thing symmetry yeah like that's what like i feel like i would look like if you did that to my face if you made my face like perfectly symmetrical and i was in a lot better shape look look right into the camera let's give people a chance to do it i know that there's someone i know there's someone that's going to be like let's move his eyes here and like you know someone had tweeted me it was like oh wait till joe finds out he's in this show yeah i saw the picture i saw that too and i was like well i I saw that and I thought it was like a joke or something, but then I saw the dude on - And you were fully like, yeah.

19:24I saw him like, I think maybe it was at the Golden Globes or something, but he was on like a carpet. And they're taking photos of him and I was like, oh. I was like, that kind of looks like a handsome Squidward version of me. I don't know if this will be a spoiler. Does he bake cakes at a certain point? A lot of batter. Oh, all right. Well, I don't - Wait, no, no, no. Answer mine first, then we'll unpack that. What are you asking about? Piggyback. If he is also baking cakes with Jane and Lily. He's in love. There's a love story with him. Good. Getting into spoilers, I'm saying, like, past episode one here, I think.

20:01We are way past episode one. That's what I'm saying. I'm just freaking out. Yeah, I don't even know who he's referencing. That arc is very interesting. Okay. The dude's name is Kip, I believe. But he's got an interesting arc. Okay. Second to last episode. Something happens. Oh, my God. Something happens. Something. Oh, wait, so you finished it? Well, yeah. Okay. Well, yeah. Okay. I mean, yeah. But yeah. If you were to do the Siskel Roper, are you giving it how many thumbs up? What is the scale? Four thumbs up was like really good. I honestly, all jokes aside, like I do think the show started out super hot and there's a lot of gay scenes.

20:40I don't want YouTube. but like there's like right off the bat you're kind of like lustful lust let's get after it but then it more it slows up but I think that's the natural like way that would go I mean most TV shows you know first of all they used to be called pilots because this was the show that was getting the show off the ground they would have to show that so they would have to end with some you know like punch metaphorically to get people to be like I need to come back I need to come back for episodes two, three, four, whatever. As we are talking about this, it's because it starts at fucking 100.

21:18Yeah. Like, 100, dude. And like, no issue with that, but any show that starts that aggressively, like, you're just gonna be like, whoa, I was not expecting that at first. What is the show? There was a show recently that was like on Netflix, and it's like, and everyone record their reaction to watching it, because the opening scene is like, this guy and this woman laying in bed, and he's just a hug. Like he's just a hug. I don't. Do you know what I'm talking about? I remember the trend. I don't remember the show. I don't. I mean, I remember when people would record to the documentary that came out where it was like the mom was cyberbullying her own daughter.

21:57Well, yeah, no, that I watched recently. I don't remember. This was like older than, this might have been like during COVID or maybe a little after that. I think it was a little while ago. It was a while ago. But like people would record themselves watching like, oh, watch the beginning of this. I think it was either a TV show or like a series or something like that. But the opening scene, so I'm like, I have to see this because everyone's always like, oh, my God. But it's a dude laying there. He's hogging. And I was like, yo. And no warm-up. No warm-up. It's like title screen right there. Well, that's how the show The Boys is.

22:28That show goes like – and not even just like one episode. Every episode of that show goes from zero to 100 instantly quick. And like you might, if you've not seen that show, it's on prime video. You might think like, oh, how like I'm talking like exploding wangs. You see how we see what I did there. That wasn't what I wanted to say. Like that quick. Yeah. And it was like, so like any show that is like that, it's going to be a little bit of whiplash. I think that, you know, I saw like some of the people saying like, you know, of course, Just because people that don't know our show are going to see clips of us talking about it and just be like, you know, this is, blah, blah, blah.

23:11I think it's an important, again, let me be lefty frank for a sec. I think it's important to have queer representation in TV and film. I think that from what I have seen, it's a well done show. I don't talk to the president of the gays, so I don't know how the gay community feels about it. Who's that, by the way? I was Ellen DeGeneres for a while. Oh, definitely not. She was taken from her post. I don't know who would be in that role right now. I don't know. Andy Cohen is in conversation. He's at least on the board of directors. I was thinking Andy Dick when you said that. I was like, what? Andy Dick has got some other stuff going on that needs to figure out before.

23:52Wouldn't know. You didn't see that clip that went viral of someone found him on the street ODing? Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. No, I did not see that. Yes, sir. Any idea on who the president of, like, the gays is? Would it be Lady Gaga? Wouldn't it technically be, like, Jonathan Bailey right now? He's, like, new— Ooh! That's a good one. You know what, though? He might not be—he might not have— Newly elected. He just got this. Newly elected. I don't even think of an elected president yet. I think that— You need, like, an OG— Yeah, like, you need, like, someone that is, like, consistently, like— That's why I said Lady Gaga.

24:27I think that she has probably earned her right on the Mount Rushmore. Sure. You know who I really like? Who's the dude? Oh, God, what is he in? What was the show with Steve Carell? Morning Show? No, Four Seasons, something like that. Okay, yes. Do you know that show? Yes. The black dude in there. Coleman Domingo. Bro, that guy. He might be the current president. He could be. Bro, that guy's style is unbelievable. Dude, super talent. I remember the first time I saw him in Euphoria. Becca and I were watching the episode where it was just him and Rue, and I was like, yo, this guy is fucking good.

24:57That show, by the way, mad underrated. Euphoria? I loved that show. Or Four Seasons. Four Seasons. You know, I started... Where's the other show you were talking about? Euphoria. I think Euphoria is appropriately rated. Yeah, yeah. It's a very popular... But like Four Seasons, I feel like went under the radar. Like, that shit was fire. I didn't... You know, you want to know something? It's filming like at the Jersey Shore. Like, it was... Oh, there's new stuff? Yeah, they're doing a new season. I didn't... So we... I think Beck and I watched like the first two episodes. It's good. And we just never picked it back up.

25:25I liked it. I love the cast so much. I mean, you can't go wrong with Will Forte, Tina Fey, Steve Carell, Coman Domingo. Yeah, Will Forte's in that. I forgot. But, yeah, just kind of bringing it back full circle in terms of heated rivalry, like, they didn't leave anything for the imagination. No. I think, you know, that they definitely, like, you know, like, you ever heard of, like, don't show, what's the term? Like, don't show them the cat. Let them know there's a cat there. Schrodinger's cat? No, no, no. Schrodinger's cat is something different. Don't show hole. No. I've heard that one. That's also different.

26:04What are we saying? Ant can take the shaft of blame after this one also gets. Yeah. Also, they didn't follow that rule. A lot of butt. A lot of dude butt. Round. Round butts. I wasn't going to say it. Round. Really round. No? The Russian dude. You're impressively round. I'm like, wow, that's round. Dude, dude. I didn't see anything about the butts that you see. What are you talking about? The Russian dude's butts are right there on display. I mean, they're in good shape because they're athletes. I didn't see anything where I was just like. That doesn't mean that you're not being like, bro, Jesus.

26:39The guy's got a BBL, basically. BBL. A lot of, I guess I. You weren't looking in the right place. I guess I was not. Yeah. Slow blinking over there because, I mean, I wasn't going to bring up. I was holding my breath while I was watching. Round. Really round. They were. That's what I thought the whole time. That's bad fun. Interesting. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, definitely I think if you want to see a good love story start off aggressive, go watch the show. Yeah. Definitely, like, you know, it gets its hooks in you, dude. I'm telling you. If you continue watching it, you're going to be like, that was a good show.

27:16Yeah. Was there any more hockey? Yeah. Oh, nice. There's like, you know. Because the first episode, I don't think. The equivalent of the Stanley Cup a bunch of times. Right, but they do the sneaky thing where they actually don't play hockey. They kind of just film on the ice.

27:36What is that? You know what I mean. No. Nope. They film on the ice? What are you going to do? You want them to show a whole hockey game? Yeah, that's what he wants. He's watching it because he's that guy that's just like, I like some hockey. Let's go watch this right now. I don't think there was a puck until 45 minutes. Let's see what this game got a slap shot. Well, no, I'm watching heated rivalry for the hockey. I want to see how good they are. That's it. Just a little bit of both. That's it. You know that's it, right? I wanted a little more hockey. You know? Like, what are you? That's like going to the car.

28:06You got the NHL for that. Yeah. You know, I'm here. I'm just here for the hockey. I'm not here for the rushing round, but. Just, you know, just say the quiet part out loud, my friend. It's okay. You can watch it for it. Oh, that's so funny. You know? Yeah. So, well. Watching it for the hockey is great But yeah A lot of stuff there But apparently there's like a lot of books too So like Yeah it's based off a series of books And like I think we looked it up during our initial review The first I think the first one is called Heated Rivalry And there's like Game Changer Game Changers The Long Shot The Long Shot That's the one Common Goal Common Goal Common Goal that's a good one That one feels like a like a DP?

28:57We're so close. So close. So close. I was just using letters. I'm letting you know now. But doesn't that sound like that, though? Common. I think the common goal would be in reference to reaching a... Oh, common goal. Yeah, say it really fast. Say it really fast. Common goal. Oh, that's not what else. Like, you know, gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's...

29:25First of all You know You know Don't do this Already In the beginning You both were wrong About what I was saying And then that was Completely not what I was saying I'm not jumping in in that Well you've seen that episode I don't know what you're talking about You've never seen Sonny Oh that was just Sonny You know that episode of Sonny Where they do the play Where they do the night man I saw it Okay Thank God You know God Play One of the best episodes of TV I've ever seen in my entire life Full stop You know when he goes what is that and he cocks a gun he goes you know what it is bitch oh man um gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole you gotta pay a troll to to get in yeah i can recite that whole episode i think line for line it's a great episode honestly one of the best ever on television yeah well um but yeah yeah i don't know how when we send it off to past selves, how the vibes of the episode are, if it continues this.

30:22Yeah, well, listen, we apologize. I don't know. We apologize because we're obviously in different stuff. It wasn't our fault. We wanted to make sure that you guys didn't miss out on an episode. So we wanted to give you what you like, which is Joe... Ebert and Roper. Can I say gooning? What? Can I say gooning? Gooning. Oh. You're saying me? No, I wasn't gooning. Well, we gotta i like rom-coms even though it's like more of a rom yeah it's more of a rom drum a rom a rom drum drum drum drum ants a hawk rom drum hock drum ants now it sounds like we're gonna conjure up spirits yeah i know the furniture is gonna start levitating here um but yeah so that's our new review um i guess let's go over to our older selves yeah so let's we'll just do editing we'll just do the editing though we don't have to do that all right see ya there's no easy way to transfer to this but we do have some sponsors for today uh the first one is hungry root hungry root uh plans my groceries for the weeks it shops for me and delivers everything that matches my goals delivery preferences and budget so you kind of plug in everything that you need and they go to uh work for you so they have over a thousand and grocery items like ready to eat options, fresh fruits and vegetables, protein bars or energy bites, things like that, smoothies, whatever.

31:52And they hold all their food to high standards. They're screening out over 200 additives, including high fructose corn syrup and artificial sweeteners and things like that. So they want just clean ingredients in their foods. And they make it incredibly easy to get going and actually stick with the New Year's resolution of eating healthy and you know um which we're all trying to do at this point but hunger root like i said um it's amazing for you know either your fitness goals your nutrition nutrition goals and yeah so it just does your weekly shopping for you and you're gonna love hunger root as much as i do for a limited time you get 40 off your first box plus you get a free item uh in every box for life okay you just go to hungryroot.com slash basement and use the code basement that's hungryroot.com slash basement in that code basement to get 40 % off of your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

32:47Okay, that is quite the deal. Also, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay, BetterHelp is online therapy. So if you want to talk to a therapist, they make it very easy for you to onboard and get matched with a qualified therapist. You know, I've said this numerous times, but I've been in therapy for years now. I think that everyone should be. It's so helpful in ways that you couldn't even imagine, honestly. And even if you don't have anything traumatic going on or, you know, you're just someone who feels like I got it together. I think that therapy can benefit anybody on any level. So I would suggest it.

33:22They have over 30 ,000 therapists. It's one of the world's largest online therapy platforms. And yeah, you can sign up and 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash basement yard. Okay, so BetterHelp spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash basement yard, and you will save 10 % off for that first month. So, yeah, go take care of your mental health, people. I got something else for you to take care of. How about you come on over to Patreon and let us take care of you? That's right. Do you want the idea, the metaphorical grasp of the basement yard's hands on your shoulders, massaging you with more of us and more of us sooner.

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33:59Good Lord. Good Lord. Well, you're going to get that over at Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard is the service we use to give us a little more, a little pipette additional of The Basement Yard. You go and you sign up for that first tier, guess what? You get these episodes one week before anybody else. These weekly episodes come out a week before everybody else be on that first tier that second tier you get all that and then you get exclusive episodes every single friday and i'm not just talking from here until you know from when you join until the future ones i'm talking everyone previously too hundreds of episodes hours of content ready for you and your eyes only for your eyes only that's in the rest of development although it says for british eyes only we're not going to parse through that so go check it out at patreon.com slash the basement yard.

34:54Okay. And if you sign up, we'll love you. If you can't, we appreciate it. We understand. We are so grateful to people that have put us ever so close. If maybe not right over 40 ,000 patrons, you guys are consistently showing so much love and support and we are genuinely really appreciative. So if you want to sign up, go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. And if you want to sign up and save yourself some money, you can do it on a web browser. Go type in that URL code, you know, the patreon.com slash the basement yard, and you sign up there. If you use a smart app, the app overlords, the tech overlords are going to take a little bit of extra money from you.

35:33So save yourself some extra bucks. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. We love you. We appreciate you. And thank you. And speaking of holes, I have something for boys holes oh okay so this has been bouncing around tick tock i'm curious how would you count the number of holes on this salt shaker what would be your method uh can can let's just start with like what's the first hole you're looking at i'm i'm i'm looking not at a first hole i'm looking at a series of holes right and then how would you count those which one i'm doing the circle around the middle hole so i would go with those six wait this here yeah okay you count those first i would segment it that way because it's easier for my eyes to to do that interesting personally so like i would do that i so i see that that's six then one in the middle and then the five dots around the six dots around the end so seven 13 right 13 holes so you'd count at this six in the circle.

36:40Yep. One in the middle. And then the outer ring? Yes. That is very interesting. It's easier for my eyes to break it up like that. Yeah. Because I break it up in the... I take the middle part of it, break it up, and then I can count the outside and inside. Easier, personally. Why? What are you guys doing? I feel like if we added one more ring of circles, you're not counting this. I mean, to be fair... You're asking me how I would count this one. Okay. I would only really count this if I was in a very awkward, like socially awkward situation. I'd be like, let me just count these things because I don't want to look up.

37:15I think I would start in the upper left, like there, and just kind of like get the ones that are near there and then kind of go to the right. Near there as in you go one. One, two, the one across mid, and then maybe that one in the middle. And then like maybe I would continue that way. I don't know I'm also thinking of it I would also count it by line so one five eight uh twelve thirteen honestly what you said I'm like I feel like I would do the opposite where I would count the out out in so I would go one two three four five and then count the inner ring and then the one in the middle yeah I just in my head the way that it works is to break it up into different sections you know and and just looking at that shape that seems like the easiest way to do that to look at it as three different shapes bro i'm staring at this and i'm like there's holes appearing and disappearing yeah like i'm like it's like a fucking is tripping me out i think i would do just lines so i would go one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen just lines that makes sense i i honestly don't think i would be good at counting this usually if i have to do something like this i do it more than once because i'm not very like i love i'll randomly be like the other day i was in the steam room and i was like let me count the tiles in here and like oh you got a little bit of the you got you got the you know what i mean you got a little bit of it what's going on a smidge i would say at least a smidge i like to count stuff counting is cool because it's something i know i'm good at counting yeah how high pretty high counted the tiles yeah but i did it by using mathematic equations so i was just like i'm not going to sit here and count every single tile but i'll count across i'll count down and i'll take the area of that wall and then i'll look over and do that one sometimes i'll get into this mood where i'll just start counting my steps like i'll be walking on the sidewalk and i'm like one two three and i'll get up to over 100 and i'm like what am i doing dude what i used to do is when i used to walk home from the train when i lived in astoria i would at a random point on the walk i would say a number guessing how many steps it would be from where I was to my house out loud out loud so I'd be like on like dip Mars and like Steinway yeah and I'd go like 1 ,406 and then I would walk and count every step and then I'd give myself one time to adjust and then just play a little game of myself did you ever like nail it yes one time really like like nailed it like you nailed it like i was like hollander dude like yeah well hollander he was the nail he received yeah he received the nailing yeah from the hammer yeah right exactly um but i was like a couple blocks away and i was like you know like 684 and then i was like two blocks away and i was like i can adjust but no i'm gonna stick with 684 and it was 684 did you start like these were your normal steps but then you're no no no no i and like i kept the same stride and pace you know i i did my best you know there was no like puddles i was jumping over that's funny i just love doing stuff like that i count stuff you count stuff sometimes sometimes i'll count uh do you know how many uh stairs you you have in your house exactly no well i live in an apartment okay well what about yeah that you don't count so then he does know how many he has zero so let's say your top floor do you know how many the exact number of stairs it is from your middle floor to your top floor i feel like it's important to know i don't know that in my mom's house that i grew up in i think it's because like you ever carrying something and it's blocking your vision i know my my steps oh i do this oh i just i stop and i wipe my foot so like i go down and i like i kick my foot around yeah just to see like is there another step am i on the ground i can also tell by the um like the texture of the ground if it's wood if it's a tile or something i also am so bad at that that if i if something is impeding my vision i've because my mom's house is like two steps and then like a little landing and then the stairs go up like that so coming down those steps and getting to the landing and you're just anticipating another step and i just go boom like that which is like because i'm like thinking there's another step and i just like hit the hit the deck or some shit but i've done that so many times in my life joey's childhood house also had famously one of his staircases was missing a step so like it was like it was a hole like on several accounts like several occasions we had told people like careful of the sixth step and they'd say why like because there isn't one and it was just a hole into the floor you know it happens things fall apart at times and they last a long time which is an issue but was it a fixed now stairs to the basement kind of situation the basement yeah if it was you know the middle floor or something that'd be that'd be tougher to explain yeah no one we were only we were going into the basement i'm sure we were the ones that caused it to break in the first place i'm certain of it i mean my mom would do laundry in the basement like that's where the laundry machine yeah but your mom has steps like a little pixie you know what i mean like she walks like she basically floats on air she floats down the steps we were running down those steps yeah dude feels like a keith through this like leg through the stair kind of thing i don't remember how that happened but i mean that's a that's a very safe bet could have been do you remember when we tried to put me down the stairs in the a sterilite like storage bin.

42:40Oh yeah. That was like a, so many times I've done that. Yeah. Yeah. Or a hamper. You ride it down the stairs in the hamper. If don't do it kids. And if it goes well, if it goes the way you want it to go, you slide right down. You, but you actually hit the floor and topple over. And that's probably what you don't want. No, I imagine you would want that because your momentum brings you, if you hit the floor and stop, you come to a complete stop. That's what I mean. And you just flip over. Done that numerous times. But the flip over is better because your momentum is continuing and it can die down a little.

43:16But if you just hit and you don't move. I actually think that one time we did do something like that and my foot went right through the closet that's right there. Because it had like those slats in it, right? Yeah, and I just like kicked it open. God, my pants. I mean, whatever. God bless them for raising all of us in that house. See my steps had like the metal Track on the You know what I'm talking about on the tread So like if I went down those I wasn't going to be in good shape Yeah you'd be roughed up But you know everyone takes a nice good roughing Just like Hollander And we'll probably continue taking it My grandma's old house had a Boxing bag Hanging from the ceiling in the basement Like a heavy bag?

44:00And we would swing from it You'd swing from the heavy bag? I mean, as a kid, what else are you going to do? Punch it? Yeah, that's stupid. Yeah, it hurt my hand. I imagine that's the thing to do. Just swing from it. What's in those, by the way? Sand? Gotta be. Yeah. What else would you put in there? Water? I mean, you pop it. I think of the scene of the Avengers, where Chris Evans, Captain America, hits it, and then sand just bursts everywhere. Because he's so strong. He is so strong. Bro, speaking of Chris Evans, I just watched a show, Defending Jacob. Did you see that? You were telling me about that.

44:33I didn't watch it. Is it good? Dude, embarrassed to say this, but me and Nicole watched the entire series in one sitting. Why is that embarrassing? Because it's fucking like seven hours. I am a big proponent of smoke it if you got them. You know what I'm saying? Like if they're giving it to you all at once, just do it. Seven hours of television straight is bananas. but it's one of those like mystery things you're like i gotta fucking know so i couldn't stop watching i love a good mystery i love mysteries i watched weapons and i was like oh what's going on i love detective shit like i wish i could be a detective or sometimes i watch shows where detectives are like figuring stuff out and i'm like oh i love that like the first 48 or something like that well i just i also all her fault is another one and it's like what's the guy uh Pena, Pena, Pena, Pena, Pena.

45:25Michael Pena. He's like a detective and he's like figuring stuff out. And he's like, oh, okay, piece this together, blah, blah, blah. He's interviewing people. And I'm like, I would love this. That's why I really enjoyed rewatching Dexter. And that's why I like the new Knives Out, Wake Up Dead Man. Because he does it in such a, Daniel Craig does it in such a bombastic, you know, coming to Benoit Blanc and he doing it like that. I love it. That's what he does, dude. That's what he does. Bombastic Well that's what he does He comes in his lock mouth Good sir I wish I talked like that Do you ever wish Like Give me your top five accents You wish you had I wish I had a Some Sort of Like UK accent UK?

46:09Yeah just any Any of them There's a hundred million But like One of them Would be nice Alright so give me your top five As I asked before Okay Take it easy Should I count that? That was really... No, that was not. That was really sassy. No, that was not. Sassy, sassy, sassy! Sassy, sassy! Unlimited sassy! I've been sassed up. No, we said it was verbal. Okay, like I said before, you fucking idiot. We said it would be verbal bitches. Not, not... But that was a bitching. Yeah, a little bit. Throwing that sass around, Frankie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was crazy, dude. I, you... Whose side are you on?

46:46Whose side is he supposed to be on? Mine, because we're getting the money together! Oh, so he is splitting it. be on frankie's side well i know meaning like you're also getting ten dollars and i'm also getting ten dollars whoa now it's twenty dollars back to joe's side if i get two bucks per i'm not playing i'm giving you ten bucks per no you're making him spend 20 he's not gonna do that for me all right doing any of this so top five accents you would most want to have um i would say that one you just said european i said uk you said uk british okay british accent what kind of british Are we talking like high-end, Brent?

47:21Are we talking like a fucking like this? Yeah, like Tom Hardy in Peaky Blinders. Or Peaky Blinders, okay. Yeah, I love that accent. I think that's awesome. So you want to be a blinder? A Peaky fucking... Fucking, fuck, fucking hell! Yeah, I would love that. Okay. I think also... And the people that are watching this in England are just like, that's a very specific... Like, they know exactly which one it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. because like I said there's so many of them like I think you go like 10 miles north and it's completely different I would like that I think like having a Spanish accent would be cool but like what Spanish are we talking or are you talking you know which one Spain like a Spania but we don't eat even eat dinner until midnight I'm talking about like Dominican I'm trying to think of an actor that would have Javier Bardem Antonio Banderas Who's the guy that voiced Death in Puss in Boots Come on Frankie Puss in Boots is actually a good accent Wagner Mora Oh he just won Apparently that movie is incredible The Secret Agent or something I would love that Yeah that's a good one I like that accent I'll take that I want like a Scouse accent That's fun Which one is that?

48:44That's like you know Patty the Batty Or Owen Cooper I think he is Who's Paddy the Batty? He's in the UFC You've never seen him? Don't get knocked out Paddy Pemblett? Yeah Okay I didn't know his nickname Was the Batty Yeah dude No offense Come fuck him up dude But yeah Like an accent like that I think is so fucking funny Who was the Like Scottish Like sounding Scottish I mean Yeah It's hilarious Well I mean careful You don't want to offend Paddy the baddie. He might come here and take your hattie off. Yeah. Put me in a fucking rear naked. Scottish would be cool. Like a David Tennant, Alan Cumming, Scottish hat.

49:25Or like a real Italian would be cool too. Okay. I think that's such a nice sounding language. I mean the language, it's a little dramatic for me. If you had the accent but not the language, doesn't that kind of take away from it? To be clear, I'd rather speak these languages than just have the accent, obviously. Gotcha. Okay. but no part of you wants like a southern accent a little bit no i'm talking no not at all what about boston certainly not certainly not what about like delaware water gap like philly yeah i will say the baltimore accent is is stavros that bit he does is so fucking funny yeah i i feel like the the the baltimore accent is so funny like i i wasn't really uh aware of it until you know the last like five years really like i knew they had an accent but i never like really like mayor of east town was the first one to like put it on tv and stuff like that right that was a good show speaking of detectives you know another and see i'm all over the like the the like delaware water gap you know like we're going for a hoagie yeah go birds it's it's also like what are you like how did this come there yeah like it's a very specific it is it is It makes no sense.

50:40It's like only you have it. It's so strange. It is crazy to think about accents because we live in the same place, but it's so different. People say that a lot about New York. Bro, you ever hear the Memphis accent? Oh, my God. No, I don't think I've heard a Memphis accent. So when you say human, but they say Herman. Herman? And Merzik. Merzik? Yeah. You ever seen Glorillo get interviewed and shit? I thought she was from St. Louis. Nah, I think she's from – or maybe I'm mixing people up. I'm pretty sure it was Well it was like Chingy right there Well I don't think It's St. Louis I'm pretty sure It's Glorilla Cause she did She did an interview With um With Speedy Where she was like Bearded for spirit Like she can't I don't know who Speedy is He's an interviewer For Complex Gotcha Um That dude's hilarious too But It's like Is she from Memphis?

51:32I don't I think that Justin Tiberlake is That ain't what I'm talking about Yeah Because he talks like this That doesn't sound like him at all That sounds exactly like him Yes Glorilla Memphis, Tennessee Yeah, yeah, yeah So they say like Herman Like it's a human So I'm like that's hilarious I would need to hear it Before I can ever make Any judgments about it Bro I'll tell you which ones I definitely would want I've openly said I don't like the Boston one I think that I don't like it It's just It's hilarious to me though Yeah But also it just Feels Like I don't want it I don't know how else I know what you're going to say You know what I'm saying You say it's going to feel as dumb Is that what you're going to say?

52:07No, no, no That's not what I was going to say. Okay. But also, I would hate the, like, Valley, California. The vocal fry. I hate that. You know, like, here, like, that. Like, that. What the fuck is shit? Shut up. I'm surprised Australian's not in there. Oh, that's a good one. I like that one, too. Australian just feels like it's a cool club that I can't be in. You know what I mean? I can't do it. Like, it seems like they're in it, and they're like, oh, good eye. You know? Yeah, fuck, mate. Yeah, fuck. Fucking cunt. Fucking cunt. Like, yeah, I love how, like, yeah, they're just cool. Yeah, that's a good one I'd like, too.

52:48I don't really, the only two accents I could say I really don't like are those two I just mentioned. Boston and, you know, like that valley. So, so cow, like, fucking, you know. But I also, like I said before, I dated a Brazilian girl in high school, and I hated that accent. Yeah, you did. You know, because it was like Hispanic and also Russian. Yeah. So it'd be like,

53:24I just wish I could speak anything other than English. I mean, you can. You can sit down and, you know, pop on one of those speaking apps. What are they called? I feel like I'm. Dualingo is one of them, right? I feel like I'm surprised. Like, when I was in Spain, I was able to understand, like, a decent amount. I'm like, okay. So, it's like I have something. Like, some people have absolutely nothing in just English. But, like, when you are in Spain, everyone knows, like, five languages. And I'm just like, I'm an American loser. I always think about this. My grandfather spoke seven languages. He was polylingual.

54:00That's so sick. Which, what the fuck are we doing? Like, I can barely speak English. Yeah. You know? Seven is probably four too many. If you had to pick two more. For me? Yeah. You know, my Spanish is so broken that I'm not even going to be able to say that I speak it. Yeah, Spanish has to be in there. I think it would have to be Spanish. And then. Yeah, what would you pick after that? If you know Spanish, you kind of know Italian. Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water. To help you get the most out of your workout. and get back to your best self.

54:37What propels you? Propel with Gatorade Electrolytes. Like, they're so similar. You could be able to figure it out. You could get by. You could more than get by. You know, uh... Can you speak Italian? I used to be able to fully understand it, but now I'm losing it. I lost it. Does your dad speak it? He can, but even he's starting to lose it. Can you say something in Italian? Just... Pizza? All right. You know, see, that was so disrespectful. Yeah, this guy. Does he warrant a bitch? I don't know. You want me to call on yellow right now and fucking tell him that you're disrespected? You know what?

55:08Your dad's going to see this. You've been really mean to us lately. Oh, my God. And, like, the cameras are on, so I want to make sure that the world sees this. Like, if your dad sees this, it's kind of crazy you talk to your boss like this. And I feel legitimately bullied. Like, I feel like you're hurting me. I think we have been, like, he's here. We try to talk with him nice. Like, we try to, like, bring him stuff. And then it's just, like, making fun of us. and it almost feels like your job's probably in peril a little bit I feel like I don't know I don't know how to feel I like to have a good environment but then you come in and you just kind of car crash it so much of this show is dynamic and being able to like move well and talk well and then he comes in and he's just like I got a big penis got a big dick, got big balls imagine dragging them across your face exactly that he will see that yeah Yeah Good job Yes Yes Thank you If we can get your multi-billionaire dad with giant nuts to fucking like us That'd be sick But you Are you full Italian?

56:14Yes Like Why did you look Like I asked a math problem Disappointed like Yes I think my mom's side had a little bit of Irish Like English Ah okay I mean technically all of us are not full anything You know like Even if we're half It's like 30 things in there Definitely Definitely Italian majority Italian have you been to what's that place called Italy yeah I thought that's how you were have you been to Italy I have I've been to Italy okay where'd you you loved that one that was a good show it was it was it was really good have you been to that place where the fuck is it room 40 what the fuck the Italian spot room 40 suck my ass dude you're not have you been to room 40 nice try nice try we have some sponsors though it's more like you know what i read the ads and then i'll i'll let you have your moment we have some sponsors uh you know we have uh seake you know seake is where you're gonna buy uh all your tickets um to any events that you want to go to uh they have more than 70 000 events listed on there every single day concert sports festivals whatever you want they got it on there their interface is very easy to use they let you know if you're paying a good price for a ticket or a bad price for a ticket the dark red ones stay away from that because that's when you're going to be overpaying for stuff.

57:30But right now, so many artists have announced that they're going on tour. You have a lot of people out there, so you can go and see a show and get your tickets on SeatGeek, and we're going to save you some money in the process, okay? This new year means new artists are on tour. To make it even better, you can use the code BASEMENT2026, and you'll get 10 % off of your SeatGeek tickets, okay? So that is 10 % off of your tickets with the promo code BASEMENT2026. So if you're going to be buying tickets to something, you might as well save that 10%, Use that code BASEMENT2026. Go download SeatGeek, show them some love, and take someone special out to a fun time, all right?

58:04And we also have Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and it helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Their company is built just to help you put money back in your pocket and be financially responsible, okay? So with that budgeting tool, you can be more financially responsible every single month, set a goal for yourself. I want to save this much, or I only want to spend this much. And it keeps you on track there. But the biggest thing is canceling those unwanted subscriptions. We're all kind of guilty of it, signing up for free trials here or signing up for stuff, using it for two months, never using it again, but still paying for it.

58:41It happens. And this will help you kind of consolidate all of your expenses in one place and be able to cancel things and realize, okay, this is$10 a month. Now I'm saving some money. It's$120 a year. And that's just one thing so you can uh put the money back in your pocket so yeah rocket money it'll help you reach your financial goals faster you can join at rocket money.com slash basement that is rocket money.com slash basement okay so uh yeah put the money back in your pocket folks rocket money.com slash basement um so it's a good try try it again just do it again for the clip we got it have you ever been room 40 room room for these nuts in your face what the hell got him drilled him wow absolutely got him you got me so good i did you know what i applaud that effort yeah oh i think joe pointed at you actually he did that's another one i got insulted and i made some money that's the internet today baby yeah you want to play around i'll call your dad right now i'll call your dad and tell me you've been messing around his dad what he said to us after the boston show because his dad was at the boston show he came to us and came up to us after the boston show and he said my dad might be here but i want you to know you embarrassed me in front of my family you son of a bitch you embarrassed me he said you embarrassed me in front of my family they were here and excited and now they're pissed off because you guys suck do you do you know how like your phone gives you random pictures like memories or whatever yes i got one the other day from the boston show and It's just you with the bluest mouth I've ever seen in my life.

1:00:13They gave us a cake after we won World's Sexiest Podcast. Huge. And they gave us a cake. So if there's a cake, if I walk into a room and there's a cake addressed to me, I have to at least try it. Did you eat the hot dog cake? I had, I think, a little bite of that. I didn't think I tried that. I had a little bite. What's up? Hot dog made of cake or cake made of hot dog? A hot dog made of cake. That was at St. Louis. We've openly spoken about. We keep track on the green rooms at these places. That's still up there. That's still up there. That was a good green room, man. It's funny that you brought up hot dog.

1:00:56Boys give me strength. I almost had a hot dog the other day, and I really tried not to. In the winter? Yeah. Tried not to. I had actually. That means he had it. No, no, no. I succeeded. I walked out of there. Becca and I were laughing Walked out of there Yeah Where were you? So there's a place in Jersey It's like iconic It's called Jersey Freeze And it is like an ice cream spot But it's been around since like the 50s But they also do like dogs, burgers, chicken fingers and stuff like that So we got ice cream And then you can go sit where they have the food And I'm sitting there And Becca and I And there's an old lady Double my age at least old bag sitting right behind me nice and she's got two dogs she's double she's barrel dogging double barrel dogging on a date with her pop i would believe husband it was very cute actually you know that's a part of me i'm a soft boy now and becca's like apparently the hot dogs here are really good so i was like how what is she doing by saying that well she's supporting her husband that's what she's fucking doing she knows what she's doing she knows what she's doing it gets better and then i was because she's like oh we used to come here all the time as kids she's like it was perfect we'd have a basketball game and then after the game we'd all meet up here nice and she's like we'd come with like three bucks we'd get a two hot dogs and a soda or a hot dog soda and a burger or whatever and she's like how much you think a hot dog is now i was like let's go check so we go to the front and i'm looking can't find the price of a hot dog anywhere so she's like do they even have hot dogs i was like they got them look at them right there They were glistening.

1:02:33Shiny bastards. Oh. They looked good. They were spitting at you. And she's like, it'd be crazy to have one. And I'm like, post ice cream hot dog is kind of a wild move. It's a genius move. Or mid. Mid? Was it mid ice cream? No, ice cream was great. It was gone? No, no, I'm saying were you in the middle of the ice cream? I finished the ice cream. I had fully finished the ice cream. Look at ice cream. Oh, I went a classic vanilla soft serve with rainbow sprinkles on a cone. No sauce? No sauce. Okay. I'm a classic American baby boy. You don't go caramel? Not on a soft serve. It'll melt it. Not hot caramel, just a broom temp caramel.

1:03:13If you're not going hot, why are you going it? I go cold. I want this thing to be shot right out of a warm machine. I get you. You know, saying that in our episode talking about scene and rivalry. I love when it comes out hot. But we walk out and she's like, oh man, that would be really good. and we get in the car and I go I will go get a fucking hot dog right now yeah and I didn't wow I maintained my strength so you still don't know how much they cost no I'll be honest with you it doesn't matter I know it doesn't matter ten dollars what the hell I bet they're good then yes and then if it's really like it's a dollar we can't pass up on that yeah so it really does I'm really trying my best the other night she goes uh she goes we should we We should do a hot dog night soon for the kids.

1:04:00And I'm like, oh my God, yeah, but let's wait until baseball starts. Because every year for the start of, like, opening day of baseball, I come home and Becca has hot dogs about. Hot dog. It's a hot dog night. With just unlimited condiments. I mean, I'm a simple boy. I get two condiments. But. It's nice to have a choice, though. Oh, yeah. And. Oh, yeah. The place is creaking. Oh, okay. But. Creaking fucked me up. Oh, wow. You're scared? I'm scared, bro. No, that's fine. I'm trying to fucking talk about my hot dogs. You're talking about the hot dogs and there's 50 fucking condiments or whatever that you can choose from.

1:04:35So she's like, we're going to have hot dog night. I was like, let's wait because the World Baseball Classic is coming so we can jump early on the hot dogs. When is this again? World Baseball Classic? March 6th, I think, is the day. I know you know the day. Even then, though, it's pretty early to the game. No such thing. And then she was like, no, let's bring the kids to go get hot dogs at Jersey Freeze. I was like, let's go tomorrow. I thought she was saying like let's control it at our home and then I could be like let's wait let's wait let's wait yeah so now it's like you want me to go into Jersey Mike's what's it Jersey Freaks it Jersey Freaks it's Jersey Freaks it is like really really good do they wear old-timey like ice cream man hats no but they do have like the old-timey machines like the big fucking big machines that dispense the cold you know like the soft serve oh yeah yeah yeah yeah it was good Nice.

1:05:29I want to go to one of those places that, like, it's like a candy shop, but they also, it looks like a bar, but they serve ice cream and shit. Well, there's that place on the Upper East Side, isn't there? Is there? It's like they still serve Coca-Cola the way it was done in, like, 1901. Yeah, that's what I mean. Sam's cocaine. Yeah, it's like they put syrup and they just, like, mix it or whatever. Syrup and fucking soda water and then they go like that. I've seen those videos and I'm like, I know that sucks. No way. I know that sucks. That's got to be amazing. I feel like it you know aesthetically it looks cool but what do we got to do to get you an egg cream in your body oh my god I guess I go to lunch with my mom she loves them because it's just isn't it just like it's ice cream and seltzer yeah god it's like why mom I've had one in my life she made me have one really yeah let's do one I would have it I mean it's ice cream so I'm gonna be happy I mean I won't be happy you know what I haven't had in a long time that I would like an eclair what are you mean like an ice cream eclair or a no no like a like a pastry yeah oh boy are they oh to the brim they're filled brother wow custard nice custard i want one of those there was something else recently that i was like oh man oh you know what i hate now like i think this is a hot take because people love them black and white cookies disgusting whack so trash They're so whack.

1:06:50So trash. Also, and I've said this to you guys, the rainbow cookies? Whack! You need to be sent upstate and you need to allow me to take a bullet and put it in the back of your fucking head. Yo, people love those cookies. Yo, they're not that good. Nah, you're bugging. You're bugging. Italians love it. I know you guys. I'm not an Italian. I love them too. I know, but you look like Italian. For such a smart guy. They're so good. I don't like them. I think that place actually Jersey Freeze does like an Italian cookie ice cream. Oh nice. Like it's like they mix it in with like yo. Anything that like when the cookies come in a tin and they have like those and then they have like the real dusty ones.

1:07:31I'm like all these suck. I for the first time recently there was a deli that I went to that gave me some butter cookies. Butter cookies are. The like the Italian ones that come in like the bag on like that flower shaped golden plate. You know what I'm talking about. first time I've ever had one of those and I was like, wow, this is actually a good cookie. Every other one I've had, they just crumble in your mouth and they're dust. Yeah. I actually will admit the rainbow cookies that come in the package you're talking about aren't great. You need more wet ones. Yeah, you need like legit deli ones.

1:07:59Yeah, you need wet ones. If you get like mass produced, they're garbage. Yeah, because they're hard then. I don't like the dusty shit. No, a good Italian, a good rainbow cookie is kind of wet. Wet. It's wet as hell. It's really wet. And like, I'm not like a tres leches almost. Like not soaked, but like you bite into it and you're like, this is more water than it is dry. I'd rather that. What, tres leches? Well, I love tres leches. Give me all three of them. Give me three milks. No, dude. You're crazy. We need, you know, listen. You got a guy that was a tiramisu. You got a tiramisu guy. Get a fucking rainbow cookie guy.

1:08:39Dude, I will so quickly get rainbow cookies in here. Get a fucking rainbow cookie. Not just rainbow cookies, though. Let's get an assortment going. You want an assortment? Yeah. We should do a whole episode on Patreon.com. That's the basement yard where we review pastries. Pastry on. This is incredible. That's really good. This is absolutely. Pastry on. Get a bunch of pastries and then, oh, get a schvoyadel. A schvoyadel. A lobster tail. The fucking pignolis, which I don't like. Isn't a lobster tail the same thing? No, there's difference. Okay. I think... You know what? Remember Luguli's? So...

1:09:15Exactly. Love that place. Great Italian ices. But you... The best orange ice I've ever had in my entire life. They have great ices. What a simple concept. Spumoni, though? Shut up. Spumoni is like a Frank Sinatra. It reminds me of Frank Sinatra. Yeah, and he's a good musician. But he is dead. He's dead and old. But they always had... You know the rock candies? Yes, they'd have them in the thing. Yeah. People use those for like cappuccinos and stuff like that. Really? Oh, to like mix. Becca and I went to a steakhouse the other day. They had rock candy? She got a cappuccino and they put a thing of rock candy on her plate to sweeten it up.

1:09:53She stirs it with that. That's actually very useful. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were going to say something. I'm going to yell at him again for not getting more fucking pastries. We'll get a bunch. Did you just text your pastry connect? I texted the person who will text the connect, yes. Also get some Greek pastries because the Greeks know how to do pastries also. I'm getting more tiramisu. Tiramisu. And 80 pastries. Ganolis. Rainbow cookies. Pignolis. Whatever that one is that looks like an S. Huh? You know what I'm talking about. Do they do donuts there? Nah, donuts are not Italian. We're fancy.

1:10:26Fancy place. Fancy place. Who's we? It's not even yours. You've got to text the guy to text the guy. You know how to fucking handle this. We don't do it. What the fuck? And I'm talking like, get some Greek stuff in here. Get some fucking baklava. Oh my God. I'll fucking. Galactaburico Oh my god Where'd you go? What'd I say? Oh my god Oh my god The Greeks and the Italians Baklova is great Know how to do their fucking pastries Yo, baklova is sticky You've been to Stamati's, right? When they give you the complimentary Galactaburico at the end Wait, what? No Bro, I actually had this I think it's Arabic I was at a coffee place And they're like Oh, this is our pastry I forget the name of it But I had it And I was like This shit is fucking crazy So it's called Galactaburico.

1:11:08I know I'm saying it right. I don't know how to spell it. Don't even ask. The booty go? Yeah. Don't let the booty go. Don't let Gala. Where did the booty go? Right. And it's like a custard and then it's like flaky phyllo dough on top. And then it's covered in like a vanilla honey syrup. Oh, fuck my balls. It'll fucking. Yeah, it will. Yeah. It'll take your balls and it'll shred them to shreds. What is custard? It's just like a thickened pudding. Kind of like pudding. Like pudding is, I think, technically a custard. But it's a little thicker. Okay. I'm into it. I'm into it, bro. When shit has custard, I'm like, this is probably good.

1:11:42I think what's in, because you love French cream donuts, right? What are they called? Boston cream. That one. French cream. Yeah, yeah. Boston cream, bro. That's custard in there. That's custard in there. Oh, yeah. It's like pudding. Am I right? If I had that accessible to me, I could literally drink it. What's it called? Creme brulee. That's a custard under there. Fuck with that. Is flan technically a custard? Flan? Get some flan in here, by the way. I will fucking dump. No way you Italians flan it up in that bakery. No, that's the Hispanics. Yeah. That's the Hispanic. You know how he hates them.

1:12:18Right, right. Hey, by the way, Ant's dad, if you're still watching this, he said he hated me because I was Hispanic. Yeah, he did say that, and that was so fucking sad. It was. And that's, you know. I've never been identified and attacked because of my nationality and heritage. it's not really some something i want in the workplace either something that like i feel like i i can't well you know you can't let go you work your whole life establishing the basis for your self-worth and in a minute that can crumble and you know and apart i mean it's jeopardizing everything that we're kind of trying to stand for here we're very forward-facing with our personalities i think a lot of people like this show like us like the studio because the people that you see or the people that you get we're trying to keep it light and silly

1:13:09and unfortunately there's a person that comes in and does stuff like that and is now mocking me do you see how he's mocking he's mocking me like a mockingbird completely undercutting your ability to feel real emotions you're mocking me like a mockingbird and which reminds me of tequila mockingbird which which also tila tequila what tequila mockingbird oh tila tequila yeah oh what well tequila mockingbird and tila tequila two things that say the n-word i thought you said i'll say that i thought you said tequila mockingbird i know to kill i know to kill a mockingbird i didn't know i was waiting for the what tequila mockingbird is oh i don't know what that is but what the fuck is that hold on wait a sec business idea i already bought this so you know we almost got out of the episode with you doing that it was close a tequila brand called tequila mockingbird just don't even uh what is that uh it's a little violin i saved for when frankie was you know complaining about something oh so you're saying frank complains so much that you're like i gotta I get a toy.

1:14:23Yeah, but then it turned it was just useful here. Yeah. I complain about something a lot. I don't let them turn us against each other here. Don't point at me. I'm not. My hand's down. Don't you worry. Yeah, I didn't say you complain a lot. I said if you've ever complained like in the future. No, that's how you said it. I don't know if you said that. No, no, no, brother. No, no, no. You said when Frankie complains saying that's inevitable. I'll just play it off here.

1:14:50It's actually a beautiful instrument I wish I really wish That just reminds me of the Godfather by the way It also sounded like the Godfather meets Titanic I think it's just a violin that's why Yeah See how rude that was? Do you see how rude that was? You don't gotta tell me I'll get in touch with With the powers that be With your father Yeah Wait until your father gets the word of this Yeah That's been on my desk for like two months I've been waiting for a moment This is going to be the second worst day of your dad's life, dude First one is when they were like Getting rid of Christopher Columbus Day or whatever Yeah, he was probably upset about it I imagine he was not happy about that I imagine How much more can they take?

1:15:32How much more? What the hell? We don't have anything It's just a day You know? Oh man Well, I think that's all we have for today What a fun episode Yeah, that really was a fun episode Hey, great job all around, boys. I will say that the best thing to come out of this episode is the fact that we had the idea of the pastry on. Because I am ready to eat pastry. I am so proud of you. I'm so... For pastry on. I'm so excited to eat pastries. There's nothing better in this world. Few things are better. Just do me a favor. If we do get these, cup of whole milk. You could get your almond milk or whatever you fucking drink in Brooklyn.

1:16:09You probably... I would just like... When something is that decadent and rich, I need a cup of whole milk. It's also going to dry me out, so I will need some wet. Okay. That's the way you put it. Yeah, I will need something wet to wet me up. You need something to fucking wet your throat. Yeah. At the end of the full circle moment, baby. First circle. Heated rivalry. Start with wet throats, end on them. There you go. Whoa. All right. I want to make sure I say this openly. Yeah. Make sure you tell the person that does our graphics To pick the one for this one Very carefully I wonder who's gonna be who I mean I hope that neither of us are I think it's maybe just us in hockey stances Well one of us has to be the Russian The other one has to be the Canadian Okay but we don't need to be like fucking like You know Yeah I don't think it's gonna be two guys You never know because you guys have had to give some notes in the past We would This feels like one that we're gonna have to go back and forth With Manu about Yeah, I'm imagining just the hockey face-off thing.

1:17:11Hockey face-off is good. I don't know if you two have to be stacked. With the kids. Yeah, we can't have to. I want to make sure I say that on the record. Yeah, Frank's kids are going to see this photo. We can't do that. Yeah. That's so funny. All right, where can they find you, Frank? The Frank Alvarez all over social media. Make sure you check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard, where we will have a pastry episode soon. You fucking believe it. Okay? And you know what? We could sprinkle in some pastry facts. Like, where does the word cannoli come from? These are all good things that we could possibly do.

1:17:40We're going to leave that part out. It's Italy.

1:17:45We're just going to eat them. We're just going to eat them and talk about life. Let's have a real, like the pastry episode. Let's make it like we're old Italian men sitting at the table and there's, you know. Oh, should we wear glasses and kangles? Kangles, glasses, wigs. Newspaper. Newspaper. you know, let's really commit like a fucking Firenze Italia shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. An undertone of like general racism and stuff. Do you still have your tutti jersey? I never bought a tutti jersey. Oh, okay. But I definitely would want one. I wanted one. You know what? Maybe your dad can come in here so we can have some positivity in this room.

1:18:23I don't know if he's the one you want in here for positivity in the room. I don't know either. What would happen if on the episode I asked him about Christopher Columbus Day?

1:18:33I don't think it'd be like, who's that probably? Really? Who's that? The guy who directed Home Alone? Look it up. It is. It's Chris Columbus. He's Christopher, though. Where can I find you, bud? You can find me at antprisco on Instagram. You're welcome. And that just bought me something with custard, hopefully. Yeah. We could take away one of your points. Thank you. I appreciate it. You guys can follow me at Joe Sanagato and go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. see you guys next time

1:19:31Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross.

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