#543 - What Is Your Love Language?

5:44Joe Santagato:Honestly, now that I think about it, like, that should be, like, heavily inspected. My penis? Not your penis. Penises. Yeah.

5:52Frank Alvarez:Well, he didn't inspect my penis. Like, he didn't, like, grab my penis. So, wait a sec.

5:58Joe Santagato:So, if he didn't, like, fully do his job.

6:01Frank Alvarez:He was checking the skin, I guess, around there. He was just looking to just get a sense of what you were working with. Maybe, and I'll tell you what, in that moment, freezing cold room. Ice cold dick. And also an unassuming penis. Like, if I knew that my penis was getting looked at, I would have slapped it around a little bit. Really?

6:16Joe Santagato:Like you do your nipples? Right. Like you do your nipples? Yeah, like give the nipples a little bit of this. Did you do your nipples? No. You don't care what this guy thinks about your nipples.

6:24Frank Alvarez:Well, it was cold, so my nipples are already like hard and like ready to go. Gotcha. But my penis was just kind of like, oh, we're lamping, you know? It's not, it's just me today. I'm like, I'm off. I'm off duty.

6:32Joe Santagato:You could have chiseled some marble with that thing.

6:34Frank Alvarez:Yeah, with what thing?

6:36Joe Santagato:That thing.

6:37Frank Alvarez:My penis?

6:38Joe Santagato:Yeah. No. In reference to its strength and probably pointy nature. Why are you saying that? You said it was cold, so it shrinks and it gets hard. Not hard. Do you have a penis?

6:52Frank Alvarez:What is your experience with the penis?

6:55Joe Santagato:I'm just saying like it gets like... When your penis gets cold, it shrivels up and gets hard? Well, it's certainly not like constricts. Yes. Yes. Thank you. It's I don't agree.

7:09Frank Alvarez:I'm trying to help. So what happens? We know what happens to him. What happens to your penis? By the way, I'm sick of this already. Okay. You're coughing heavily. You're not fair.

7:18Joe Santagato:I'm sick a little. I'm just I mean, he's just doing it to fit in for both angles. I'm always sick.

7:22Frank Alvarez:You guys are fucking DP sicking me.

7:26Joe Santagato:Let's send our coughs his way.

7:28Frank Alvarez:I'm not going to do that. It feels inappropriate. So when your penis gets smaller because of temperature, what happens? It doesn't get hard. Right.

7:37Joe Santagato:It doesn't get hard. I think it's just dense. Dense. All of the penis goes from an area of this to an area of this. It compacts. You know what I mean? Exactly. It's like a non-Newtonian fluid. When you let it be, it flows and it's kind of chill. But then once you hit it with something, it's like, coof.

7:56Frank Alvarez:Oh, so it's just like the non-Newtonian fluid. Non-Newtonian fluid. Oblec? Oblec.

8:02Joe Santagato:Oblec?

8:02Frank Alvarez:Yeah. Oblec. Yes, yes, yes. No, but it wasn't freezing to the point where my penis is all the way up and clutching its pearls. It was just kind of laying there and just, you know. And the guy's like, all right, I'm going to lift your underwear a little bit. And I was like, it's so my penis. Then he put it down. He was also very professional. And then he went to the other side. This doesn't sound professional. This sounds like this guy's job. He's checking my skin. It's not like he went, ooh, and then he put it back. Yeah, if he went, why caramba, and then put it down, that would be weird, especially weird because he was Chinese.

8:35Frank Alvarez:But then he went around to the other side, and he lifted the other side, too. So I was like, he got two looks. Oh, so he got to look at your asshole. No, no, no, no. No, he wasn't checking my asshole. I mean, he did see it at the top of my butt. I mean. Because he pulled down my.

8:47Joe Santagato:I feel like if he was really good at what he was trying to get done there. You don't know how to look. First of all, my asshole. Listen, it doesn't take a doctor to know how to look at something. It sure does. I mean, no. That's all of dermatology. No. It takes a doctor to know what you're looking at, but I am a good... If there is a whole... Sorry, I have hiccups. Yeah, you want to take a break? If there is a whole class in med school about looking, I would ace that. Because, like... There isn't.

9:16Frank Alvarez:That's what I'm saying.

9:17Joe Santagato:It's like, I can just look at something. But, like, in theory, if he is going to be looking in those areas, he should get more of a look than a...

9:28Frank Alvarez:He should go Well, if there's no, if there's no, like, mole or something there, he doesn't have to look But he won't see if there's a mole or something there because he can't

9:36Joe Santagato:He looked, but I have white skin and moles are, like, brown So, like, you'll notice You know what? That is a good point Yeah, moles stick out like a sore thumb on you Yeah, so he got a good look

9:45Frank Alvarez:Wait, were you standing or laying? No, I was laying down on my back You know what? Just stop talking

9:49Joe Santagato:I'm sorry, I'm okay Where did you get? It's like Dumbo He's fucking burping, he's on the train

9:53Frank Alvarez:What's going on here?

9:54Joe Santagato:I'm working through it, don't worry about me I can get rid of it Talk you two vamp for a sec I'm gonna do it

10:02Frank Alvarez:Why'd you say vamp? What does that mean? He's getting rid of hiccups Yeah I have a beauty mark on the bottom of my balls And

10:19Frank Alvarez:Who was asking about that? Well dermatology I had a story Now I know I mean I was trying to get rid of my handcuffs How do you know that if it's on the bottom I don't know if I've seen the bottom of my balls

10:34Joe Santagato:He can swing them over

10:37Frank Alvarez:Do you have big swinging balls? No not really But how do you know it's there? I know how You ever get a mirror and just like look at your thing? Sometimes Well you gotta do more than once

10:50Joe Santagato:No I think once you see Once you get a lay of the land, you don't need to map it out anymore.

10:55Frank Alvarez:Frank avoids it. My point is I was worried about it, and then one day when my brother was a baby and I was changing his diaper, I saw the same one. We have matching ones. It's like it runs in the family.

11:06Joe Santagato:Dude, you got to check your dad now. Yeah, you got to check your pops. Yeah, let's check your dad. Get your dad in here. Get your dad in here and say, pull him down, yellow.

11:13Frank Alvarez:Put the bottom of your balls on the table. We need to find out. You should have a family mail chat where it's like,

11:22Joe Santagato:you all get an idea of like what each other's balls are doing just the bottom of the ball yeah you don't need to like get into like dick yeah we don't need to get into that at all so i got rid of your hiccups you did thank you for that wait so so he just like you're standing up and he just goes good no no i was i was laying down oh so he like took a look under the hood and he was just like all right carburetor's running yeah i mean the woman told me to leave

11:44Frank Alvarez:your underwear on so i'm assuming like all right my penis doesn't have to be on guard

11:48Joe Santagato:but then like I was I wish every doctor that I can recall going to in the last decade has told me to get completely naked under the gown and I hate it I hate every second of it it is very the doctor tells you like dump it they just say like please get completely naked completely is hilarious get fully get completely just get completely 100 % naked put on this gown that's open in the back yeah I'm just saying I understand that like there's reasons for like why medical clothing and stuff is designed the way that it is, maybe let's revisit it. It's like the paper clip. It's been designed the same way since the 1910s.

12:25Joe Santagato:We can look at it and try to find a new, more efficient way to go about doing this.

12:29Frank Alvarez:Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to wear the paper.

12:32Joe Santagato:I don't need my ass to be in the wind. That's another thing. Like, my butt's out here. They should have more flaps and buttons. I'm into it. like if if velcro bro i love velcro brother velcro would be incredible yeah just like if the whole

12:51Frank Alvarez:thing was made of velcro and it was kind of comfortable for me you just rip open my velcro take a look at my ass and i didn't staple that thing back on yes how cool would it be if you

13:00Joe Santagato:go into the doctor and they give you like tear away pants like they have in the movies and stuff like now we're talking i had a pair of those in like middle school i did too and i wasn't strong enough back then to rip them off oh i was and let me tell you they tore they tore they tore away Yeah? Yeah, I got pantsed and, like, basically, like...

13:19Frank Alvarez:Have you ever been pantsed and your penis popped out?

13:23Joe Santagato:Probably, but I can't remember it.

13:25Frank Alvarez:No, but I've been in front of the person who has. Their penis popped out at you? And it popped out like that.

13:30Joe Santagato:And you're like, oh! That's what you did, you freak.

13:35Frank Alvarez:That was terrifying for a second. I'm not going to lie, that scared the shit out of me. Why? And you were like, because you said freak. And the F, and I was like, dude. Oh, no way! I don't know! This is all happening again now! You should know! That happened at the park once and one of our friends got pantsed and his penis came flying out. I don't want to say his name.

13:58Joe Santagato:Give me something only you and I would know.

14:02Frank Alvarez:A keyword. He lived across the street from the park. Still does. I think you're going to need a second hint. How do you not know that?

14:11Joe Santagato:Yeah, alright. I guess I don't. Oh Yeah Got it Yeah

14:17Frank Alvarez:Oh His penis came out Was it

14:19Joe Santagato:Well came out Was it a good showing?

14:22Frank Alvarez:No Oh no Not that Not that like I don't think that's like fair No it goes up there I don't think the doctor Yeah Should be like Oh this guy You know I wasn't ready No I wasn't ready

14:32Joe Santagato:Brother Dicks are like wrestlers Like they need to warm up And they need to do some air squats Bro LeBron shows up at like noon

14:39Frank Alvarez:The game isn't until 8 And he's the greatest Like You got to give me some time to warm up.

14:44Joe Santagato:The dick needs some preparation. It needs to know what it's getting into, what it's going to do, what the goals are, and then it can perform appropriately. I'll tell you this. One time I was at the doctor.

14:58Frank Alvarez:This is a true story. This is years ago, right? I went to the doctor and he was checking my balls. And this is the first time that they've ever done this to me. I was probably, I don't even know. I was like in high school. and he's checking my balls. I like saw my penis retreat. Like I watched.

15:16Joe Santagato:You watched it run back into its cave.

15:18Frank Alvarez:Yeah, like it was just kind of like, oh no. And I had never, and I still have never seen that. But that was the one time that I'm like, man, this is uncomfortable and cold. And like it just. Homer Simpson in the hedges. Basically. Literally. And I was like, this is bad. Is this over? Because get me out of here. That sounds. Dude, imagine being a doctor and just holding balls all day.

15:38Joe Santagato:Tough job. I mean, I don't think they're like, they're there. They have the thought process, like, I'm doing this for a medical reason. Of course. They're not like. But still, you got to hold balls. We knew someone growing up, I don't know if you remember this, but that said specifically that they wanted to become a gynecologist.

15:58Frank Alvarez:First of all, all the kids we grew up with are fucking idiots. So I don't know how any of them would say that.

16:03Joe Santagato:Even the smartest of our friends, me, would not be a gynecologist. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know that we didn't have any doctors in our group. There were no doctors, which is not surprising. Actually, it kind of is surprising. What? That none of our friends, just by statistics, got into doctorhood.

16:23Frank Alvarez:Doctorhood? Yeah. Maybe people we grew up with but weren't in our immediate friend group. I'm closer to being a doctor than you. What does that count for?

16:32Joe Santagato:Nothing. All right. It is a stone cold heart. Are you closer to being a doctor? Technically, yes. How? I've gone to school.

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16:57Joe Santagato:What does that mean? I've gotten... Before you go to med school, you need to get like a pre-med degree. Yeah, but you don't have any knowledge of anything medical. I have a good amount of medical knowledge. Yeah? I think if you... Which class? I mean, if you were to start asking me some stuff, I would probably be able to give you a roundabout.

17:14Frank Alvarez:That's not based in, like, academic, like, the credits you need. What did you go to school for?

17:20Joe Santagato:Criminal justice. Got it. I mean, there were some... There were some, you know, there were some science courses we had to take in there. You know rigor mortis? That's it. I do know rigor mortis. So the movie, the body stiffens. Yes, it does. I mean, that's something to know. You don't know that. Well now you know it because I taught you that. I just said it to you. I was the one that originally on this show taught you about Algor, liver. Why are you saying tot? Tot. Am I hearing things? Come on. Don't specify. See he's trying to throw me off because he knows I'm proving a great point here. I'm not.

17:52Joe Santagato:You're saying I taught you dat. I did teach you dat.

17:56Frank Alvarez:Now you're doing that. No I'm not. He's talking like a baby. No I'm not. I taught you dat. I taught you dat.

18:01Joe Santagato:You're saying dat now. I know. It's just the way that from you to that is coming out. Talk to you that.

18:08Frank Alvarez:That was better. It was. It was. Thank you. I'm glad there's another person here now. This is what he—don't. Don't. This is what he tries to do. Tell me, Dr.

18:15Joe Santagato:Alvarez, how close you are to being a doctor because you studied criminal justice. I'm not saying that I am close in, like, relatively speaking, but I am closer in relation to you. What was the point of saying that? Nothing. None. Zero point. There is a point.

18:35Frank Alvarez:There is a point to saying that. And it's because you want to shit on me. And that's what's going on. 100%. Here's what's gonna happen from now on. Okay? If we're together... He's getting pissed. Uh oh. He's getting pissed. No no no let him go. If we're together, we're on a plane, we're in a restaurant, and someone goes down and people are like, is there a doctor in the house i'll say hey he's almost one he's only all of the credits away from being one i mean i took math remedial math in college i think and has a degree in criminal

19:10Joe Santagato:justice let him help out excuse me i took several courses he knows rigor mortis if the guy dies he knows what it is get him i took several several courses in calculus one two first of all in that situation there will be a doctor about there will be a health care professional somewhere there if it ever got to like the lone survivor situation where it was like i was the closest thing to a doctor i would try to do my best are you familiar with what's that what's that what was that a designated survivor excuse me sorry survivor is like navy seals yes yes yes yes designated survivor i think is what i'm referencing here remember that show with keifer sutherland i think it was Well, Frankie has played Call of Duty, so he's much closer to being a Navy SEAL than...

19:56Joe Santagato:Oh, yeah. No, no, I've never said that. See, now you're taking... Oh, wow. He's trying to inflict stolen valor upon me, and that's incredibly disrespectful to all the people that have served our country, which thank you for our service, by the way. Oh, man, you're a professional. He said our service.

20:14Frank Alvarez:Thank you for our service. He said our service. I didn't mean to. I just said, oopsie, sorry. He's a Navy SEAL, but he's a medic because he studied criminal justice. Thank you for our service.

20:29Joe Santagato:I mean, let me take a sip before I get the hiccups again. Oh, sip break? That's new. I think it's not a sip break. It wasn't an organ. I don't think. He took a sip. I took a sip.

20:41Frank Alvarez:Oh, man. That was funny.

20:42Joe Santagato:So, well, okay. I'm glad to hear.

20:44Frank Alvarez:Have you ever been in a situation where someone's went down and people need a doctor?

20:47Joe Santagato:Yes. On the flight back from. On the plane?

20:50Frank Alvarez:Yes.

20:51Joe Santagato:In the air? Yes.

20:52Frank Alvarez:Ooh.

20:52Joe Santagato:On our way leaving the Houston, not Houston, sorry, the Austin shows last year, 2024, we were taking off. And then all of a sudden, as we're like climbing, I see people running back. Oh, no. And I'm like, fuck. Like, like running back. Like, what was your thought? Like, oh, the flight attendants are doing this? Yeah. And I'm looking back like, fuck. and then I and then and then I look over and they like like go like this to like there was a there was a woman in our aisle they come up to her and they poke her on the back and they go you know I can't hear them because we're climbing I have my headphones in and then I like look in the aisle and there's someone laying flat in the aisle

21:36Frank Alvarez:oh my god

21:37Joe Santagato:and I'm like fuck yeah so they they announce on the be honest

21:42Frank Alvarez:did a part of you go okay it's not the engine thank god yes of course

21:47Joe Santagato:yeah and we were leaving texas and it was an old white man there was a part of me that was just saying like you know whoa dude maybe he what were you gonna say maybe he deserved it okay josh no no no so so we're flying and then they go oh go ahead i think he's just preparing we're debating whether to cut to this well we're in the air and they over the loudspeaker like uh we have a medical emergency. We're going to have to land in Houston. And I was pissed because you know how much I hate Houston. So we landed and we had a D board and we were there for three hours. And then we got back on and they said there was a medical emergency.

22:29A man, while we were climbing, had lost consciousness and they couldn't get a read on his pulse.

22:37Joe Santagato:Oh my God. And finally, once they were back up, they got him back too. but then they were like we have to land at Houston and he has to go to the hospital because like we're not you know god forbid this were to happen again while we were you know in the air and it was fucking scary and then like the person that helped him the medical like health care professional that helped him everyone like we gave like a round of applause they got like a complimentary seat in

23:02Frank Alvarez:first class how did they know that this person was a doctor I don't know that's you have to like

23:06Joe Santagato:announce yourself I don't know I don't know if they had like said something before I don't know like i don't think like you report self-report that when you like i mean it would make sense

23:16Frank Alvarez:like maybe if it's on like your boarding pass like if you can like opt into being like by the

23:20Joe Santagato:way yeah like when you book your yeah if you book your your like when you book your flight if you're just like by the way i'm like you check a box or something but that's terrifying bro i was scared yeah and i you know the guy like seemingly from like when he was leaving he was conscious he seemed okay but he's an old bag yeah yeah he was an old he was an older man like extremely family um i'm not a good judge of character white hair back yeah all white hair okay yeah i would say in his 70s at least you know but he seemed to be in good spirit like he gave the thumbs up when he was being wheeled out like so it seemed like he was okay which good but like also like when a player tears their acl i'm good yeah yeah damn that's terrifying bro that shit was scary yeah and you know how i am on flights too so like i see that i'm just like oh you know on another

24:07Frank Alvarez:the people's lives we talked to a flight attendant and they told us that because we they kind of talked to us about a lot of things that you don't realize with flight attendants and airplanes and whatever and then we kind of asked the question of what happens if someone dies on an airplane because you have to assume that has happened or it happens every year i'm assuming i think i know this and they just put a blanket over yeah it's fucked dude yeah because they have nowhere to put

24:32Joe Santagato:you were they gonna were you to put you in the bathroom and to my knowledge like the the like weight distribution and you know stuff like that in the plane is very important so like

24:43Frank Alvarez:i don't know if one person's gonna throw off the balance but like they just put a fucking thing

24:48Joe Santagato:over you and you're just that is banana bro if i was sitting i mean i i would imagine that the airline would compensate the people sitting next to or near that person sure uh but for that flight too oh my god if i gotta fly next to a dead body oh i'm i'm getting every i'm getting a hundred thousand miles for free are you kidding me i am riding that to the bank yeah i got upgraded on a

25:12Frank Alvarez:flight recently and they put me in first class but they put me in the seat that uh that like other pilots get when you can like close it oh what i didn't know that yeah you've never seen that no like if you've seen people like pilots sometimes on planes they like well they're flying back to wherever so they get on the plane to go home and they put them in a seat that like has a sheet not a sheet but like a curtain it's kind of like yeah like a curtain essentially but it like locks on either side so you're kind of like no one comes near you at all and i was in that seat and i was like two i was like i probably should shut this but i didn't because i was afraid that

25:50Joe Santagato:i would get in trouble yeah i i've not really gotten the only time i've ever gotten like something like that is when where were we going i think it's when we were flying to columbus um they they said like oh it's a husband and wife they want to sit next to each other do you mind switching with them and i was like yeah sure no no problem and then they were just like we're giving you free credits we're giving you that and i was like that's that's very nice but you know how i am on planes i get in my seat i try not to move unless i have to pee because someone made me drink a bunch of mimosas first of all you're the mimosa whore i'm not a mimosa whore you you've literally started that twice i think on the way to puerto rico that was completely your fault i think puerto rico i started it but it was you and then the the fucking flight attendant was an enabler yeah and i think on the way to texas you started it texas when we went for south by southwest yeah maybe i think that was you probably because puerto rico was bad though

26:48Frank Alvarez:we landed we did we did that was a lot i think we had like seven on the plane that's terrible that's honestly bad flight attending no i think that's great flight attending that's a

26:59Joe Santagato:that's an incredible it cuts some people off every once i mean but we weren't being loud or stupid or being very quiet you were listening to creed i was listening to creed i was taking pictures of you listening to creed right yes uh that was the extent of our flight yeah and then we got there and we what did we do that first day we went to dinner i know that we we actually oh we got a tour a walking tour of puerto rico we did san juan and then we went to uh what's that place called

27:23Frank Alvarez:La Factoria And then we got a drink there I believe Remember the place Oh the like oldest One of the oldest bars in the world Yeah And then we did go to a A liquor store

27:32Joe Santagato:And we bought a whole bottle of rum What the fuck is your phone doing bro My phone just spoke Something to me First of all Tell your phone that we're fucking recording An episode of The Basement Yard You're making him mad Let's get to the ads by the way

27:47Frank Alvarez:What do I do What the fuck do I do now We have some ads Don't worry about it Don't worry about it Listen We do have some ads the first one being Wayfair. Okay, Wayfair, how you doing? They have a bunch of stuff at your Wayfair here. The New Year's here, get back into an at-home routine you love and elevate your space with Wayfair. I feel like everyone's got a couple pieces of furniture from Wayfair. Okay, they got everything. They got bedding, bath basics, kids room, home decor, storage. Okay, there's a ton of stuff in here from Wayfair. Work from home, set up, stuff like that. They got you covered.

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31:05Joe Santagato:I don't care. You could do it though. The world is your oyster. So put some fucking Tabasco and horseradish on it and suck that bitch up. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. And if you sign up, try to do it using a web browser. If you use the smart application, it's going to take a couple extra bucks from you. So you want to save yourself some money while you're doing it? Go to the web browser, go look. Oh, okay. Open your AOL online, you know, and then it's like, hello and then you type in patreon.com slash the basement yard sign up that way save yourself some money all right we thank you guys for getting us to over 40 ,000 patrons and know what that means that we're going to record us doing a pigs in a blanket eating contest for an episode you'll be able to see that on patreon we're also we just did the pastry on where we had some italian pastries that was fun there's also a bunch of stuff on there so go check it out we thank you guys so much for all the love and support.

31:58Joe Santagato:We're going to figure out what we're doing for 45 and 50 if we're so lucky. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. We love you. We thank you. We'll see you there.

32:09Frank Alvarez:What are you doing?

32:20Joe Santagato:Yeah. Seems like yesterday it was a Saturday morning.

32:26Frank Alvarez:What's going on?

32:31Frank Alvarez:Was that you? Was that you on the recording too? Yeah. Can I hold on to that? So I can hold it into this mic?

32:37Joe Santagato:I don't want it to get dinged. I'll do it. I got it over here. Just make sure you hold it up to the mic because I can't. I don't want it to get dinged. So this is both you. I'm starting it over. Come on, guys. Grow up. Yeah. Okay. What should I call this in the notes? This is my tribute. That's what you could say that it is. Tribute. Okay. Okay, here we go. Seems like yesterday it was a Saturday morning. I was five and trying to escape the boring. Fox kids turn it on the TV right now. Bright and colorful suits. Wow. Megazords mean so much to me. Cool weapons and teamwork so in touch with me. Even though you're gone.

33:13Joe Santagato:I'm still a ranger. Forever with Zorda, never becoming strangers. Open up command center after your place. Heavenly legacy on earth and in space. 40 morphin zeo turbo 2 in space lost galaxy you know i love you every kia you make every sorry let me start the chorus again every kia you make every yaw you take every monster you make every it's morphin time you say i'll be missing you

33:53Joe Santagato:Thinking of the day There's more There's more Where we would wake up and play Every car you make Every car you take I'll be missing you Listen I don't know if you guys know this

34:15Frank Alvarez:I'm just a passenger here I'm just a passenger

34:23Frank Alvarez:that was your tribute yep

34:28Joe Santagato:the super sentai which was the japanese program that ran for 50 years that the footage was used for power rangers for decades has come to an end in japan and i want to send my condolences to the super sentai family uh you've given us so much and uh we're doing a seven kya salute to you Kyaw! Kyaw!

34:59Are you gonna do seven? Hyaw! Kyaw!

35:09Frank Alvarez:Kyaw! Yaw!

35:14Frank Alvarez:Hyaw! Kyaw!

35:20Joe Santagato:God

35:29Frank Alvarez:What'd you write down? I wrote down Frankie Tribute Dash Power Rangers Not a single note was on beat

35:41Frank Alvarez:What do you think the beat to that song Usually is by the way

35:50Frank Alvarez:is that i'll be missing you yes that doesn't sound like i'll be missing you really that's

35:54Joe Santagato:what it sounds like to me well um in preparation for this i i listened to the instrumental yeah um and you know just wanted to write something to represent uh you know the the decades yeah of just joy of Power Rangers and entertainment. Are you upset? That the well the Power Rangers brain is still alive let's make that very clear. I believe it's actually under the control of Disney and it's in good hands. Well you can make the argument. They're trying to revive it and but Super Sentai which is what the footage was used if you ever watch those old like Mighty Morphin jokes aside guys come on let's get serious.

36:35Joe Santagato:Oh. If you ever watch Mighty Morphin, like all like the footage of them, like the monsters and them in the suits, that's archive footage from the Japan show from like the like 80s or something like that.

36:47Frank Alvarez:Oh, okay. So. And then they just do, they have like the Americans.

36:51Joe Santagato:The American teenagers with attitude, you know. Right. And, you know.

36:57Frank Alvarez:Didn't one of them kill somebody?

36:59Joe Santagato:You know, I don't know. I think one of them killed. I know that, like, the original Yellow Ranger, she had passed away, like, very young in a car accident, I believe. Ugh. But I think one of them did porn. I think I saw that. Porn? Yeah, like, one of the Red Rangers or something did, like, a little, like...

37:20Frank Alvarez:Ricardo Medina Jr.? Who's that? Ex-Power Ranger, sentenced to six years killing his roommate. Yeah, killed, man. Really?

37:28Joe Santagato:What does he look like? Is that Rocky? It might be Rocky. What the fuck is wrong? What are the Power Rangers, dude? What color? Red. I think he was also blue at a certain point. I think I saw a couple Power Rangers boxed not that many years ago.

37:43Frank Alvarez:Really? During the boxing craze. Yeah. I think two ex-Power Rangers boxed. Well, a lot of them were legitimate martial artists. How much to get you to box somebody? Who? I don't know. A random YouTuber or some shit. It would depend on who it is. Because if it's someone that I know I'm going to get my ass whooped. Well, what if it was someone that you're like, I'm not afraid of this person, but I'm going to have my workout. I have to work at it.

38:06Joe Santagato:Like a sort of an even match. I'm trying to think who would be an even match for me. Because I'm pretty strong.

38:18Joe Santagato:Who would be your match? I have no idea. Markiplier. That's who you would. What? I think that's an even match for you.

38:25Frank Alvarez:I actually don't even know what he looks. I mean, I know what he looks like, but I don't know how tall or big he is.

38:30Joe Santagato:I don't know how tall or big he is either. That's a good question. You might want to look that up.

38:34Frank Alvarez:I mean, this is about you. Oh. He's 5 '10".

38:37Joe Santagato:Is he 5 '10"? All right, so then you're only five inches shorter than him. You'd be fine. I would say you're not going to know who this is. Someone Frankie Cabal. I think you'll know who this person is. Scott the Waz.

38:50Frank Alvarez:You're right. I have no idea who that is.

38:52Joe Santagato:He's like a video game... Reviewer? He talks like video games and does like video essays and stuff like that.

38:58Frank Alvarez:Are you a similar size?

38:59Joe Santagato:I think he's smaller than me, but I just. You're not boxing this guy.

39:03Frank Alvarez:Is it a pipsqueak? You want to see Scott the Waz? I'm not even saying. I'm saying comparatively to Frank.

39:09Joe Santagato:No disrespect to Scott the Waz. I love his stuff. But.

39:14Frank Alvarez:Frank. This looks like Keith. Keith can box him. It does kind of look.

39:19Joe Santagato:But how tall is he? Let's get a tail of the tape.

39:22Frank Alvarez:The tall is not the issue. It's the weight class.

39:24Joe Santagato:Let's get a tail of the tape on Scott the Waz.

39:26Frank Alvarez:I mean, he doesn't look small. He looks... Uh...

39:30Joe Santagato:5 '5".

39:32Frank Alvarez:So... So then what YouTuber... He's not 5 '5", is he? I don't... First of all, the question is, does Scott the Waz have scoliosis? Who are you picking, Frank? Oh, I didn't know that. 5 '7".

39:44Joe Santagato:He's 5 '7". So you could box him. Frank.

39:47Frank Alvarez:No. I mean, how tall is Mr. Beast? He's tall. Really? He's tall. Really? But that's a good answer. Like that's probably what you would do. I don't think we're going to be able to get Mr. Beast. No, no. Well, this is hypothetical.

39:59Joe Santagato:No, I mean, we're not. We're definitely not Mr. Beast. Holy shit, he's 6 '5"?

40:03Frank Alvarez:Fuck?

40:03Joe Santagato:No, he's probably 6 '3". No fucking way.

40:06Frank Alvarez:He's tall, dude. He is. I would say 6 '3".

40:10Joe Santagato:Bro, if Mr. Beast is 6 '5".

40:12Frank Alvarez:But let's say hypothetically, right? They were like, yo, we want you to box Mr. Beast.

40:16Joe Santagato:Just before we do that, do you appreciate this?

40:18Frank Alvarez:Yep. Okay. But if they were like, yo, you're going to box Mr. Beast, How much money would you need? Because you're boxing Mr. Beast. I mean, it's Mr.

40:27Joe Santagato:Beast. I'm asking for a couple. I'm saying at least a mil. But he's not paying you. Why not? Why would he pay you? He's boxing. Oh, who's putting it on? They've got to pay for Mr. Beast so that I'm going to ask him to also pay for me.

40:40Frank Alvarez:Yeah, but he's going to negotiate and get most of the purse. So what's Mr.

40:44Joe Santagato:Beast getting? He's getting a couple mil.

40:45Frank Alvarez:Frank, I'm asking what's okay for you. I know.

40:48Joe Santagato:I need to know in relation to what Mr. Beast is getting, I need to be somewhere that obviously I'm not at Mr. Beast level. attraction. But it's not about that.

40:55Frank Alvarez:It's about you guys are coming in separately. So you have to get enough that it would be like I think you should just box him for free. Well, that would actually, that would be a good promo. Boxing Mr. Beast.

41:03Joe Santagato:I would say, honestly, realistically $100 ,000. Okay. I think that's fair. We could get you in the ring of Mr. Beast for 100 Gs. Yeah, I mean, at 6 '5", though, he's beating the brakes off me, probably.

41:14Frank Alvarez:I mean, he's not like a big dude. He's like 6 '5", but he's kind of, you know.

41:17Joe Santagato:My guy's 6 '5", like 5 inches in that world. Yeah, but you got a lot of power. I do. Thank you for saying that. I'm trying to think of other YouTubers. I don't know. You know who you could. Who's the guy from from Smosh? Shane? Shane? Shane. Joey versus Shane would be an incredible matchup. Boxing? That's funny. Joey's took boxing. How big is Shane? He's like I think he's around your height. Okay. But he's he's kind of he's kind of yoked. Is he?

41:44Frank Alvarez:Oh yeah.

41:47Joe Santagato:5 '7"? 5 '7"? No he's a couple inches shorter than you. I'm gonna drag him around the ring then. He's also very nice, so you might be able to, like, guilt him into, like... Yeah, I could probably gaslight him. He's got big arms. Look at him. He's not small. That's quite the photo, Shane. Yeah.

42:04Frank Alvarez:He's got some power.

42:06Joe Santagato:What an incredible headshot. No disrespect. The last name Top... Oh, yeah. This dude is kind of yoked. Is that real?

42:14Frank Alvarez:Yeah. No, he wore this. I saw this skit.

42:15Joe Santagato:What is that? Is that a shirt? I don't know what it is. Dude could be... But we don't know if he grew up on the streets of Astoria, New York like you. It's true, yeah. I got a little bit of an animal in me. And you got a big animal in you.

42:30Frank Alvarez:Would you fight, like, maybe a... What's his name? Dan Hurley? Who's that? The creator of Hurley? No, no. Like, bacon. Bacon on everything. The food. Mr. Food.

42:41Joe Santagato:Epic Mealtime?

42:42Frank Alvarez:Epic Mealtime. That guy. Harley? Harley. That guy would beat the shit out of me. Harley? I know Harley. He's tall and big. He's huge.

42:50Joe Santagato:Yeah, he'd probably whoop my ass.

42:52Frank Alvarez:All right, maybe not him. What about?

42:53Joe Santagato:He's a big guy. I'm trying to think of other, like... I'm just starting to get this fighting. I don't know. Look up, just Google popular YouTubers, and let's go from there. You want to start that? All right. I'm not saying I would beat these people up, but, like, in an organized boxing situation. See, it's tough because I watch a lot of, like... I don't watch a lot of YouTube, but, like, the stuff I do listen to is, like, movie video game content.

43:15Frank Alvarez:I do.

43:17Joe Santagato:Oh, you know who Joey would do good in a fight with? in a boxing match with MatPat. Who's that? You know MatPat, right, Ant?

43:25Frank Alvarez:Game Theory?

43:25Joe Santagato:Yeah.

43:27Frank Alvarez:I don't know if we could just get

43:28Joe Santagato:a bunch of famous YouTuber pictures here. I mean, we know that both Paul brothers would mop the floor with us. At this point. It wouldn't even be fun.

43:40Frank Alvarez:Fight Ryan from Ryan's World. Is that a child? That was a child. That was a child?

43:45Joe Santagato:He's got to be older now. No. He's like... I thought he was dead. No.

43:50Frank Alvarez:He's got to be older now. Casey Neistat? Oof. Yeah, that dude runs like 10 miles a day. That'd be a tough one. I don't know. I don't know if I could just find pictures here. I would just beat on his ribs. Casey Neistat? Oh. Rib shots. Oh, like you're like. You said you didn't want. Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water. To help you get the most out of your workout. and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade Electrolytes.

44:22Joe Santagato:I'm going to talk about this, and now you're fully telling us how you would go about beating these people. This is never going to happen. Casey, you know? Also, he's not going to gas.

44:30Frank Alvarez:Yeah, this is never going to happen.

44:32Joe Santagato:MSG.

44:33Frank Alvarez:Yeah, we've said that before, yeah. Well, I have no interest in fighting anybody. I'm not going to break my nose. If they paid for you and I to fight. Me versus you? Yeah. Oh, my God. I would. God, how much money I would pay to see it. I wouldn't do it. What's with that? I just want to see it. You want to see the world burn? Back in the day. How about two-on-one, we beat the shit out of you? How's that?

44:53Joe Santagato:When we were teenagers, there were kids in our neighborhood that would bring boxing gloves to the park. And we would have boxing matches. I mean, they were the dumbest things in the world. I definitely got my bell ringing before one of those. There was a kid in our neighborhood that had quick hands. Mikey. He doesn't want to fuck me up, dude. He fucking hit me in the stomach once and fucking ruined my day. Dude, this kid was smaller than me. And I was like, I'm going to fuck him up.

45:15Frank Alvarez:Lightning quick. And I, like, jabbed him, and I was like, this is going to be embarrassing. And then he hit me two times in the side of the head, and I was like, hold on, I'm dizzy. I literally had to stop and be like, oh, fuck. Speed kills. Yeah, dude. Yeah. What are you going to do?

45:28Joe Santagato:He'd beat the brakes off us. That's so funny.

45:30Frank Alvarez:I can't believe you remember that.

45:32Joe Santagato:Yeah, dude. That's great. I remember in PS2, in the park, they were like, a couple people did matches, and I, like, didn't want to do it. And they were just like, come on, it's Mikey. I was like, all right. And then he fucking. Yo, he was quick, dude. It's so funny

45:47Frank Alvarez:Have you ever boxed? I put gloves on

45:51Joe Santagato:I'm shocked this isn't something you and your boys haven't done

45:54Frank Alvarez:You've put gloves on? I watched them all box in the basement Chaz versus Danny one time That sounds rough I think Chaz hit him so hard in the stomach He immediately had to go take a shit and it was over See that happens to me too Really? Like if I get punched in the stomach Or like I get nervous I gotta dump I think it's just like a I don't know, like it contracts, I don't know.

46:17Joe Santagato:We are completely getting off of topic here. What was the topic? My loving, beautiful tribute to the Power Rangers. I think that was great. How much can you possibly say about the Power Rangers? I mean, so much. And I do think that the wordplay was incredible here.

46:34Frank Alvarez:We know you think that.

46:35Joe Santagato:Seems like yesterday it was just Saturday morning. I was five trying to escape the boring.

46:41Frank Alvarez:You just woke up on a Saturday morning and you're bored?

46:43Joe Santagato:well i want to escape the boring so like saturday morning kids cartoons you know megazords mean so much to me still cool weapons teamwork so in touch with me me with me well much to me touch to me touch with me like it works because of the much in the touch oh yeah yes it's crazy you know the touch means so much to you open up the command center enter

47:10Frank Alvarez:your place whoa dude what that's sexual is it if you're uh yeah i don't think so that's heavenly

47:18Joe Santagato:legacy on earth and in space that is it's true where's the wordplay these are just words mighty morphin zeo turbo 2 in space lost galaxy you know i love you i don't even know what that meant well those are all different seasons in order actually which is kind of impressive actually i think uh I left that Lightspeed Rescue in there But still nonetheless Pretty impressive The much touch You know and then every Kia Just incredible I mean listen I

47:46Frank Alvarez:What would you say your love language is? Ooh I'm coming over there too so

47:54Joe Santagato:You're coming on him dude? No no no Oh my god I meant I'm gonna swing to you I'm gonna write a song You're gonna swing with him? Oh shit My love language? I would say it's

48:11Joe Santagato:Physical touch and Words of affirmation You like words I do like words They're reassuring to me And I like to be reassured because sometimes You need it, I need it But definitely like Love and you know Hugs and kisses and affection and stuff like that I also like you know acts of service Well you can't just pick all of them I'm but like I can't pick one No I mean how many do you get If you were to give me What's your main one I would say if you were to give me out of 100 % I would say I'm 40 % physical touch You just said that was your most If you can just listen to me please Well if they break down If the other ones are broken down 30 Thank you so much And then 20 20 20 Who's the fucking guy Me Yeah why like why why why

49:00Frank Alvarez:I want to look them up right now Alright

49:02Joe Santagato:Well, I mean, you know, you could have the person that is their job to do that.

49:07Frank Alvarez:I know, and as soon as I picked up my laptop, I realized that, and I was like, I'm already here.

49:10Joe Santagato:Do it first. Do it first. Go ahead. Put it up. Love languages. What are the love languages?

49:15Frank Alvarez:What's your love language?

49:16Joe Santagato:We just went from talking about boxing scothawaz. Oh, they said that. They're saying there's five. Five? Click. What are the five love languages?

49:28Frank Alvarez:Wait, it's up there. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

49:30Joe Santagato:All right. It tells you. Here we go. Acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch.

49:38Frank Alvarez:If you had to rank them, what's your number one?

49:42Joe Santagato:Physical touch is a big one for me. I am very affectionate with Becca, with the kids. Obviously, with the kids, if they don't want it, I don't. Well, with Becca too. Let me make that very clear. Let me make that very clear.

50:01Frank Alvarez:The kids, if they don't want it, that's fine. Becca. Sorry, Charlie.

50:08Joe Santagato:I would say physical touch is my, like, big one. And then you said words of affirmation. Words of affirmation.

50:19Joe Santagato:Acts of service, quality time receiving gifts. But I love gifts. I love gifts. So that shows you how I feel about all the other stuff.

50:27Frank Alvarez:You love getting gifts. I do. so much. Do you think that's an appropriate way to receive love?

50:33Joe Santagato:I'm not saying it's my main one. That's why I put it at the bottom.

50:36Frank Alvarez:I'm saying like when you get them, you're like, oh, that makes me feel like this person loves me.

50:39Joe Santagato:I think that in addition to all those, I think if it was just the only thing that someone was using, no. But in addition to these other things that are also, these other boxes that are being checked, I think it's a nice, because it's thoughtful. It's, you know, it's going out of someone's way sometimes in order to get something and then the monetary aspect of it. I do like it quite a bit. I think I know yours. Can I guess what yours would be? Let's see what you got first.

51:05Frank Alvarez:We're ranking them? Yeah, in an order. Give a top five. I don't know. I like receiving gifts, to clarify. Is it giving as well? Are you familiar with the word receiving? I know, but like...

51:19Joe Santagato:Yes, I would say what you're asking is yes. I don't think so.

51:22Frank Alvarez:I feel like mine would be like giving. Yeah. Like giving gifts.

51:25Joe Santagato:Same, exactly.

51:26Frank Alvarez:So that's the way that you receive love is giving gifts? No, that's not what I'm saying. I didn't know if these were outward or inward.

51:33Joe Santagato:But these are obviously, like, they have to, this is how you.

51:35Frank Alvarez:Okay, so this is inward. But this goes two ways.

51:37Joe Santagato:This goes two ways because I love giving physical touch and getting physical touch.

51:41Frank Alvarez:Yeah, but your language, I always thought it was just. Well, now I'm recalibrating. I would put gifts then at the bottom.

51:46Joe Santagato:Yeah.

51:47Frank Alvarez:I think acts of service at the top, quality time. Wait, hold on, hold on. Acts of service is number one. Quality time is number two. Okay. Physical touch. words of affirmation and receiving gifts.

51:59Joe Santagato:I don't care to receive gifts. I like giving. I do too. But I do like receiving gifts as well. I love gifts.

52:04Frank Alvarez:I'm not putting that out there. Love gifts. For me, they love gifts.

52:07Joe Santagato:I mean, you're not getting anything from us now, bitch. Fuck you. Love gifts. When's your birthday? It's passed. It just passed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a whole thing on here for him. I know.

52:17Frank Alvarez:Okay, we'll kiss later. What's yours?

52:19Joe Santagato:I think I know Joey's. Go ahead. Joey's is quality time. That is my number one. Acts of service.

52:28Joe Santagato:words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts. I wouldn't say that. I would say that's close. Quality time. I don't have gifts. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Words of affirmation. They're just words. I don't give a fuck.

52:41Frank Alvarez:No, I do like words of affirmation. That's kind of where I think you get it wrong, is that I do like quality time and then probably words of affirmation, then acts of service. What's left? Oh, no, no, no. Sorry. No, no, no. So quality time. Ooh. No, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts.

53:05Joe Santagato:Hmm. I think. I mean, we all put gifts at the bottom, but I do think that, like, I like receiving gifts, but I also, like, since it's a thing that I like, I like to do it more. Like, that's why what he was saying before, like, to me, it goes both ways. So, like, I love physical touch. I like to receive it. I also love to give it. You know what I mean? Yeah, but it's not how you show love. Yes, it is. A language, if you think of the term language, it's something that is used both ways.

53:37Frank Alvarez:It's ways which we would prefer to be shown love. Like, how do you receive it? Yeah, but who said that? Vagdivi? Yeah, and then you see at the end there, where they have like a little thing. I know, I'm not saying that they're wrong. Licensed professional psychologist.

53:55Joe Santagato:All right. I mean, I always interpreted it as like it's something that you enjoy, so you also try to give it out. You know, like.

54:02Frank Alvarez:Yeah, I think that kind of goes with that. I mean, it's a love language. They're all like positive things in some way. But it's just how you. Like, I don't really have a lot of attachment to like physical things. That's why, you know, we're very different in like you save every card that you have. And, you know, you collect a lot of stuff. Like, I don't really have a lot of that. I think that there are certain things that I'll hold on to and that, you know, I have meaning in. But, like, the gifts thing. If I didn't receive gifts, I really wouldn't waver at all as long as the rest of the stuff was there.

54:38Joe Santagato:But I do think that receiving gifts, like, in my opinion, all of these things kind of are supposed to work in tandem. And receiving gifts is, in theory, an act of service. and like a not a word of affirmation but it is an item of affirmation because there is so much more that goes behind the physical item it could be a fucking it could be a like it could be a rock you know but it's just like i saw it i thought of you like there's more behind the gift than just

55:06Frank Alvarez:what the actuality of what it is well receiving gifts is not an act of service active service is like taking something that you don't want to do and they're doing it or like a chore that you don't do that they always do or something it's not i don't think it's extra is not gifts i mean in this they like obviously they differentiate so i would assume they're different well what's a word of affirmation just like i love you yeah just you're incredible you you mean so much to me

55:35Joe Santagato:positive affirmation yeah not like negative affirmation what's a negative affirmation just like you fucking suck but i'm gonna keep you around you know yeah it's gonna be positive

55:48Frank Alvarez:what are you what are you puzzling you know you look puzzled it's just interesting so i feel like do you need words of affirmation and receiving gifts at that point with the other three um i think that it would be nice to hear i think it's just these are all supposed to be positive things obviously it's just where some people like to be reassured and it's like i like hearing it all the time you know and it's not that i dislike hearing you know words of affirmation it's just i hold the other stuff in a higher regard than i would then so but without one of these completely aside from gifts i think that i could you know live without that completely but the other stuff if you took one of them away i think it would be like detrimental like the dominoes would fall

56:29Joe Santagato:well there are some people that are very like they don't like physical touch you know yeah there are There are some people that, like, acts of service, they're like, no, like, I got it. Let me do it. Like, you don't need to do it. Let me be in service to you. So everyone's different. Every ass has a seat, boys. That's what I learned.

56:49Frank Alvarez:Where'd you learn that?

56:50Joe Santagato:My father.

56:53Frank Alvarez:Don't forget, Frank. Every asshole has a seat.

56:57Joe Santagato:I, uh, yeah. Yeah, that's basically how he, not asshole, but like, Frank, listen. What do you think they say? Every ass has a fucking seat. Every ass sits down somewhere. Do you think that's true? Do you think there's enough chair?

57:11Frank Alvarez:Yeah, there's gotta be. Every ass has a seat. There's enough chairs in the world to sit everybody, right? Maybe not chairs, but enough things to sit on.

57:19Joe Santagato:Goddamn, that was sexual. That was crazy. Yeah, you're talking about penises. Nah, I'm saying every ass has a seat and Ant's just like...

57:26Frank Alvarez:Every ass has a face. Is a five-seater couch one? Every ass has a face. That's what he said. What does that mean? I don't even think that's true.

57:33Joe Santagato:Like, because every ass has a seat because you sit in a seat.

57:36Frank Alvarez:Oh. And he's saying. Oh, sit on my face things. Yeah. Does a couch count as five chairs or one chair? It's not a chair.

57:44Joe Santagato:It's a couch. That's right.

57:46Frank Alvarez:So now couches aren't chairs. We're talking about chairs.

57:48Joe Santagato:Well, if we're getting into, like, polygamy, then it's like every ass has a whole fucking room of couches.

57:55Frank Alvarez:No one was getting into polygamy. No, my reference was just couch versus chair. I wasn't talking about.

57:58Joe Santagato:See, why do you need to break it down like that? And also, fuck the Mets. How about that? Why do you wear that hat around us? Jesus Christ.

58:05Frank Alvarez:It's supposed to be words of affirmation here.

58:07Joe Santagato:Yeah, I'm not giving you anything.

58:08Frank Alvarez:How do you think you show love?

58:11Joe Santagato:In the ways that I like to receive it. Got him. That wasn't a gotcha. I was asking out of curiosity. I got him so good. No, I think that the ways in which I like to receive them, I show, and then partnering that with what Becca's love language is, I, you know, because it's meaningful to her, I show attention to whatever her hierarchy of needs are in terms of a relationship. You know, love language wise.

58:40Frank Alvarez:Who put the heart on your hat, by the way? That's how it came. Oh, really? Yeah. Wait, no, no, no. On the brim.

58:47Joe Santagato:Yeah, it's how it came.

58:47Frank Alvarez:Oh, it looked like someone just put like a piece of chalk.

58:50Joe Santagato:No, it's nice, right?

58:51Frank Alvarez:I like it. Is it for like, what's it for?

58:53Joe Santagato:I got it for Valentine's Day.

58:54Frank Alvarez:Oh.

58:55Joe Santagato:Yeah. It's nice. You want to see it? I can see it. Oh, well. You're right there. That was rude. How is that rude? You're supposed to say yeah and then see it.

59:05Frank Alvarez:That's what I'm supposed to do? Yeah.

59:06Joe Santagato:Why? See it.

59:09Frank Alvarez:Looks like it feels nice.

59:12Joe Santagato:Just be careful with it.

59:15Frank Alvarez:There you go. Good catch. Thanks, baby. Damn, you've aggressively put your head on. You smacked that on your head.

59:24Joe Santagato:I brought something because you guys talk a lot of shit recently. Do you have to get to the ads? Yeah. Get to the ads, and then I'll tell you about some of them. I brought something? I brought something, because you guys talk a lot of shit. Get to the ads. We have some - Whoa!

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1:04:55Joe Santagato:Okay. Beautiful. Love it. Yes. So as I was saying, you guys talk major shit on one of our recent episodes, so I decided to bring you some matcha to make you.

1:05:07Frank Alvarez:You're gonna make matcha? I'm gonna make you matcha, yeah. Doesn't that require hot water?

1:05:12Joe Santagato:Yeah, what do you think I got here? Oh, that's hot water? Yeah, baby. I come prepped and ready. Oh, yeah, and it's still pretty good. Put your hand on it.

1:05:20Frank Alvarez:Take a sip.

1:05:22Joe Santagato:Okay.

1:05:23Frank Alvarez:Don't. Wait, no, no, not actually because then it's going to backwash. Yeah, you're going to backwash.

1:05:27Joe Santagato:So I got some matcha. So you'll have to start the prayer. What's the – what's up? Look at it. Look at how beautiful this is because you guys talk so much shit, and I hated it. Look at how beautiful and green that is. It's so green. I actually love that green. That's so green, right? Can you get a – can you get a – can you look at that? We can see it. I'm just going to do a little this. That's all you need? That's all you need, baby. It's not much. Five little dustings? Well, it's a good amount of dustings in there. There's a little... I'm going to be honest, too. You know I'm going to be honest.

1:06:00Joe Santagato:I know you're going to. That's what I'm hoping for here. Okay. You know, and I got my little...

1:06:04Frank Alvarez:So does that container last you 40 years if you only need that much matcha?

1:06:08Joe Santagato:No. It's not. And then you go like this. And you... Look at that. Look at how green that is. Yeah.

1:06:17Frank Alvarez:That's green, baby. Yeah. That'll get you going. It looks like pesto, kind of. Could we do some ASMR to the mic, maybe? Actually, don't do that. No. That's not nice.

1:06:29Joe Santagato:Then you're supposed to add a little more, and you're supposed to get it really going. How often do you do this? Like, make it? Yeah. Every couple days. I don't, like, make it every day.

1:06:38Frank Alvarez:Doesn't having to do this whole process just make you go, I don't want it. Oh, why would it do that?

1:06:43Joe Santagato:It's a nice little, like, me thing. You know? It's a moment for me. what's so funny the way that you're doing it why are you doing it so hard you're supposed to do

1:06:55Frank Alvarez:that to froth it up oh you gotta like do it mad hard i'm not feeling any love yeah i'm not this

1:07:02Joe Santagato:doesn't feel ceremonial i'm not getting a good i'm not getting a good froth on this but maybe

1:07:06Frank Alvarez:because yeah i feel like he's been out the game he hasn't done that um also i'm gonna come out and say it that thing that the whisk was on looks like something else like a booty hole plug yep

1:07:17Joe Santagato:am i supposed to drink this yeah come on oh right from the right from the bowl baby that's all you got and that's a handmade bowl too who made it you made it i made that bitch did you yeah where i went to pottery threw some mud with becca my name's on the bottom hell yeah that's cool frank a sea foam no that's the color oh yeah did you paint it too i did the glaze well like I picked the color they did the glaze oh give it a shot you gotta that's what it's

1:07:48Frank Alvarez:supposed to so stinks though it's so good stinky no it stinks it stinks so good it's very green that's what it's supposed to be I'm not complaining I'm just making an odd just give it a just give it a swirl whirl bang and hurl how do I do that I don't know

1:08:09Frank Alvarez:right no it is barely anything but water what it's like do you want to try it

1:08:17Joe Santagato:i'm not going to drink it after you sick boy oh let me try it first then before let me try it first let me try it first let me get a cup let me get a cup here try it i don't know You say it's barely anything

1:08:31Frank Alvarez:Well I mean you're making it seem like I'm gonna Oh no that's delicious What are you talking about idiot But you're making it seem like that's supposed to be Like that's so different than any other matcha I've ever had

1:08:43Joe Santagato:Well yeah because you're probably having not great quality matcha

1:08:45Frank Alvarez:No I'm saying that's similar He gave you all of it

1:08:49Joe Santagato:Try that baby It's good It'll get you there It's really tasty You don't sound too happy Give it a slam Come on and slam. If you wanna jam! I'm back. Come on and...

1:09:03Frank Alvarez:Try it. Really? What does it smell like to you? It smells like a worm. It does smell like a worm. But like, it's... It's like grass and like... It's wormy. Steamed vegetables, I get. Steamed vegetables isn't bad. Try that.

1:09:23Joe Santagato:Why are you... Are you a cartoon character? Are you drinking like a hummingbird? You're like Doug funny. I'm actually liking it right now. Got him. Got him so good. It could be because I can't really taste well because my nose is stuffy. Well, fuck you. Hold on.

1:09:41Frank Alvarez:Don't hate it just to hate it. I mean, I don't like it. I would never. I mean, if you don't like it, whatever.

1:09:47Joe Santagato:I don't care.

1:09:48Frank Alvarez:Yeah, we all don't believe that.

1:09:51Joe Santagato:But it's just like it's a nice little pop of green.

1:09:53Frank Alvarez:I feel like I'm breathing dirt now.

1:09:55Joe Santagato:Really? Yeah, like I'm breathing it. Smell this. Like, open it and smell it. Just throw it.

1:10:00Frank Alvarez:Yeah, that's not... That's easier. The taste is much better than how that currently smelt, and I think that's what's helping. What? I don't get that. Like, it smelt awful.

1:10:09Joe Santagato:Yeah. Oh, like, it tasted better than it smelled. Yeah, and that's helping. Take the little... Yeah, take that off. I kept it on there.

1:10:15Frank Alvarez:Whoa, it's foaming.

1:10:19Frank Alvarez:Oh, it's like a potion. You see it coming up? Yeah, like, I feel like... Am I being, like, I'm gonna pass out? You'd be a horrible witch. I would be a great fucking witch. You'd be a horrible witch. Shut the fuck up. I'd be great. You wouldn't be a good witch. Dude.

1:10:32Joe Santagato:Toil, toil.

1:10:35Frank Alvarez:That's a caricature of witches, and that's offensive.

1:10:38Joe Santagato:Oh, all right. So I'd just be like a cool hipster from fucking, you know, like lights candles and enjoys sage.

1:10:47Frank Alvarez:What does that smell like? I need to try this again when I'm at 100%.

1:10:51Joe Santagato:I'll bring you a watch all day, man.

1:10:52Frank Alvarez:This smells like something.

1:10:53Joe Santagato:I mean, it's like steamed vegetables. That's kind of what you get. Brothy, like a broth.

1:11:01Frank Alvarez:I can smell a broth, but like if there was a raw leg in it. Well, come on. You know? I mean, how is that? It smells like a white person's ear.

1:11:18Joe Santagato:See, now, how do we even get there? You know what I mean? How do we even, like, in what world does that even make any sense?

1:11:24Frank Alvarez:I just feel like it smells like that. Or like dirty hair.

1:11:29Joe Santagato:Does it even make sense?

1:11:30Frank Alvarez:Yeah, like dirty hair. No. Or a white person's ear. Maybe a sideburn? Maybe that's like a middle ground. Why are you, like, specifying? Because I'm smelling like skin. The smell is way worse than the taste.

1:11:44Joe Santagato:How does it smell bad? It's not bad. I can't believe you guys. It is truly astonishing to me. I'm not saying bad. I'm saying it smells like sideburns. Let me guess. It'd be better if it was a dino nugget, you freak.

1:11:56Frank Alvarez:Dino nuggets are fantastic. I know.

1:11:58Joe Santagato:It's in reference to your vanilla eating style. You know that's not true. I know. I do know that's not true. You bastard.

1:12:05Frank Alvarez:It used to be, though. And to be clear, this would be much better if it was a dino nugget. I would love a dino nugget. Fantastic. I would love a dino nugget.

1:12:11Joe Santagato:Oh, it'd only be cooler if it was a$5 foot long on Italian herbs and cheese chicken pizziola, Joe? That's so specific

1:12:19Frank Alvarez:But I haven't had one of those in a while But I was off that

1:12:22Joe Santagato:And you guessed it Probably shouldn't Well I'm not

1:12:24Frank Alvarez:You don't What was the other thing Oh I used to get a sweet onion What It smells like a baseball field You ever been When's the last time you played baseball Like on the field I love baseball But shortstop Well we threw out the first pitch We did That's right

1:12:36Joe Santagato:When was the last time We were in the middle of Last time I was on a diamond Good question Let me think

1:12:43Frank Alvarez:That's true

1:12:43Joe Santagato:In front of 40 ,000 Yeah we also nailed it in there, baby. Simultaneously. We fucking crushed that. That was kind of wild.

1:12:50Frank Alvarez:Yeah, but that's a real baseball field. I'm talking about, you know. Like a kid's Oh, this is like one that like the outfield's like got weeds in it and shit. Yeah. Ooh, this smells like weeds. Sure. Hmm. Like an unkept garden. Really? With like a tire in there. You know, like one of those yards. No, no, I'm not contributing to that.

1:13:07Joe Santagato:Ooh, you know what it smells like? Poison ivy. I don't like that. That's not right. And if you're smelling poison ivy, don't. Because it can get in your lungs and it can be very bad for you. Really?

1:13:16Frank Alvarez:Have you ever had weeds or vines grow up your wall and you take it down? And you kind of get dirt. So you guys are just. As soon as you take it down is what it smells like. You guys are describing.

1:13:27Joe Santagato:That is amazing, Ed. You guys are just describing greenery, which is what that is.

1:13:32Frank Alvarez:But it's an experience. It smells like the experience.

1:13:34Joe Santagato:So you started with it smells like a white person's sideburns, and now you've gone fully into it smells like removing intrusive vines from the side of a brick building.

1:13:46Frank Alvarez:But both can be true.

1:13:48Joe Santagato:I don't think so.

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1:14:04Joe Santagato:I do like the vessel. Container's nice, right? Yeah, I do like this. I didn't make that one. That one I did not make.

1:14:12Frank Alvarez:Masterful 30-day shaded.

1:14:15Joe Santagato:Yeah, baby. That's the good stuff there and I made this bowl too. Isn't that nice? It's a really nice. I crushed that bowl

1:14:20Frank Alvarez:Is that is that for this or you made it just I made it I made it for matcha. Oh nice.

1:14:24Joe Santagato:Yeah

1:14:25Frank Alvarez:Well, you went to the thing where it's like you press on the wheel.

1:14:28Joe Santagato:Yeah, dude. Is it like impossible? It's hard There's like a lot more to it than I thought cuz I thought I was just gonna go in there throw some mud and make like a fucking Full of like blown vase or some shit. Yeah, there's actually a lot more skill required to do it, which I didn't know And I didn't expect how many things did you make? um i made i think i made three things becca made three things bowls or i made a little like a little flower vase for her like a did it go like no it's it's just it's a little one like it's meant for like a single flower oh and then i think she made a couple bowls too and i and she made me some cups she's yo she fucking threw that shit and she kind of crushed it but it was really cool i would highly recommend going and throwing some mud because then you come out and you got You're covered in like all like dried up mud.

1:15:16Joe Santagato:And then we get to cosplay as like men. Yeah, like construction workers. We get to cosplay as blue collar men. I like left there and I was like, oh.

1:15:27Frank Alvarez:Yeah, you want to put it on your face a little? Yeah.

1:15:29Joe Santagato:Like, oh, I got a little bit on me. What the hell? Yeah, rough day on the site.

1:15:33Frank Alvarez:Yeah. You know? When was the last time you had a black eye? I would love a black eye. I don't think I've ever had a black eye. I had a bad one once and I was kind of hype about it. Really? Well, I don't like it when it's like a full black eye. But when it starts healing, then it looks cool.

1:15:46Joe Santagato:Yeah, like when it gets fat and clothes, I don't like that. No. But just under. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had a black eye.

1:15:53Frank Alvarez:I got a black eye because I was playing basketball in the morning. And it was actually Valentine's Day, which is so weird. But it was Valentine's Day. What a lovely day for a black eye. Yeah. Yeah. And it sounded weird. But then I got elbowed in the eye, so I had to go to the nurse. my dad had to pick me up i faked like i had a headache i knew what i was doing yeah i was like well i'm being cursed i think yeah yeah it's like i'm going home um and my dad came into the office and you know how my dad is he was probably double parked he was in a rush and he uh mad the whole time yeah he came into the the nurse's office and i had like ice on my eye and he just walked in he's like what happened your girlfriend punched you in the face because you didn't buy anything for Valentine's Day?

1:16:41Frank Alvarez:Nurse didn't laugh at all. Didn't crack a smile at all. Not a joke. Not a joke at all. And I was like, you're like, oh, what the heck? Wait, how old were you? This was seventh grade. Yeah.

1:16:54Joe Santagato:Do you have a valentine in seventh grade? No, I didn't. And you were riding dolo?

1:16:58Frank Alvarez:Yeah, I was just doly just playing ball in the morning.

1:17:01Joe Santagato:That's sick. Did I have a girlfriend in seventh grade? I don't think I did. Just shooting three-pointers for Valentine's Day. you know what i love this is my dribbling yeah we can tell nothing's nothing makes me you know what i love sound of a swish

1:17:23Frank Alvarez:yeah um but i had a good black eye for a while yeah i've never i've been very lucky i think i

1:17:29Joe Santagato:had like a real gnarly bruise once on my on my hand oh my god because do you remember when we would play manhunt in saint francis and i would climb that like like it was like an exterior thing that popped out like one of the entrance doors in the back yeah i would i would scale and climb on top of that and on the floor next to it was like those like grates and i fell one and i hit my hand straight on one of those grates and i got a giant bruise in the palm of my hand dude so bad i didn't even know your palm could bruise yeah of course i mean anywhere you have skin i I mean, I believe. I guess that's true.

1:18:08Joe Santagato:I was led to believe that. That. I was led to believe that. But yeah, that sucked. And then I had one from like paintball, but like that's.

1:18:17Frank Alvarez:Not in the face.

1:18:18Joe Santagato:No, I got one on the inner thigh.

1:18:20Frank Alvarez:Ooh, that's the dark meat.

1:18:22Joe Santagato:Yeah. They shot me close too.

1:18:25Frank Alvarez:I think I can get hit with. To your wing ding?

1:18:27Joe Santagato:Yeah, close. And like physically they were close. Oh, wow. I think I can get hit with paintballs now and not get bruises.

1:18:33Frank Alvarez:You don't get to decide. This can't be true. I think he's like setting it up. No, I'm not. I'm dead serious. 41 ,000. I'll light you up. It could be real quick. We get one in here. I mean. You have one? You seem like a paintball guy. I have one. You shot me once. Twice. Have I? Oh, I did shoot you. 45 ,000. I'll let you guys each shoot me three times with a paintball gun. Frank, 5 ,000 is such a jump. It's insane.

1:18:56Joe Santagato:41. 41. I need to set a fucking standard. I know my worth. You didn't even shot with a paintball gun.

1:19:01Frank Alvarez:I'll let you shoot me for 41. I don't care. Okay.

1:19:03Joe Santagato:See how I set that up? That was quick. That was easy. 41 ,000, I'm shooting you how many times? I don't know. 41 times. And you just do what? Live the dream. I mean, I'm not going to agree to that. I mean, you said I could shoot you. And then I said, how many? Yeah, you can. How many? And then you said, like, what?

1:19:22Frank Alvarez:How about you both get little duck costumes and I shoot you both?

1:19:26Joe Santagato:Duck costumes? No, because you'd be holding on to some stuff.

1:19:30Frank Alvarez:No, never. And you're like, oh, this is double jacked up CO2, so it's going to come out at 400 PSI.

1:19:35Joe Santagato:I don't trust you guys because it'll be like, these are fucking paintballs, but they're actually filled with like twisted tea. You know what? Now that I said it. Shoot me in the mouth. That doesn't sound that bad. Shoot me in the teeth. 41 ,000. I would say he can bring in a paintball gun and shoot you and I three times each.

1:19:54Frank Alvarez:I have a feeling that we'd want to be shot more. Is that weird to say? Yeah. I feel like that's true though How? I mean, that's fine How is that even Well, first of all, buddy Yes, sir You don't get off scot-free anymore I know

1:20:10Joe Santagato:People see you

1:20:11Frank Alvarez:They can see your eyes

1:20:13Joe Santagato:Yeah, ever since you installed that camera Now I was trying to Now you're part of it

1:20:16Frank Alvarez:Yeah Who's shooting us then?

1:20:18Joe Santagato:Oh, that's tough I mean, we just shoot each other It's like rock, paper, scissor I shoot you, you shoot him He shoots me Also, not for nothing

1:20:25Frank Alvarez:A lot of people are talking about it I would have fought him I couldn't tell you how many messages I got of Edward Fortyhams. Really? Bro. Instantaneously hundreds. Really? I didn't know that. I didn't think people would be like. I think people like when we get a little bit.

1:20:40Joe Santagato:When we get a little drunk.

1:20:41Frank Alvarez:We get a little drunk. I also haven't had a. I haven't seen a 40 with my eyes. Do they still exist?

1:20:47Joe Santagato:Definitely. You're saying that with a lot of confidence. I bet I can walk into literally any deli right now and find them. Google how much a 40 ounce beer costs.

1:20:57Frank Alvarez:the money's the issue let's do that 40 000 patrons let's figure out if they're affordable well i just don't gotta be six bucks if it's six bucks that's disgusting in a good way what are we looking for cores right a cores one or a bud light yeah what this is a joke oh um four bucks

1:21:17Joe Santagato:wow i feel like the price hasn't got up in here there's three bucks when we were drinking anyone buys them when we were drinking them they were three bucks so four in between four and nine

1:21:28Frank Alvarez:bucks when would it be appropriate to have one you know what i mean i don't see any reality where

1:21:33Joe Santagato:like unless it's like a two liter of coke you know what i mean like you you get one for like a party yeah but you who does that i mean i'm sure they had it as a bottle beer it's a it's used for a reason that's crazy dude it is crazy i will say this i'd be disgusted by the don't ask me why beer tastes better when it comes out of a 40 ounce bottle now he's horny now he's getting excited i just it does i had a i think everything tastes better out of glass i yes i recently had a beer on the super bowl i had a crack open a miller and i i took a sip and i audibly went oh this tastes like college like just that beer in particular at that point just tasted like college a miller light yeah okay it was it did it did the trick did the trick it did the trick but i i'm surprised that people wanted to see the four i guess it makes sense they like seeing us a little like

1:22:26Frank Alvarez:like a little yeah that like he texted me he was like have you gotten a lot of messages i'm like yeah really i i mean yeah that's interesting we haven't that would be a throwback we haven't done

1:22:38Joe Santagato:that in 20 years it's not been that long brother less it's not been that long i've done it maybe 10 years ago i did it with espos i have a picture of him and i doing it like 10 years ago really yeah yeah where at my house was that when we were going to your house 10 years ago no way well no we were going to our house 20 years ago

1:23:00Frank Alvarez:yeah that's so i have a memory from 20 years ago disgusting yeah that's really gross isn't that disgusting of old memories oh what was that 20 years ago like yeah we're gonna get older and be Like, oh, that was in the early 2000s, and I'm going to put a bullet between my eyes. Because that's going to feel crazy. Or my parents are like, oh, that was in the 70s. We're going to say that.

1:23:21Joe Santagato:Bro, next year? Oh, my God. I think 2006, I don't remember as much. 2007, I remember quite vividly. Next year will be 20 years from 2007. And that's what... What? I just thought that was very similar to the experience. I'm saying, like, I don't remember 2006 as much as I remember 2007. So next year, when I look back, I'll be like, that was 20 years ago.

1:23:45Frank Alvarez:You have vivid 20-year-old memories.

1:23:47Joe Santagato:Vivid, dude. Vivid. What happened in 2007? I just remember, like, it was just such a, like. What grade? We were going into, not, 10th. I think it was, like, 10th grade.

1:23:58Frank Alvarez:Sophomores?

1:23:59Joe Santagato:Yeah. Oh, no, 9th grade. 10th grade, maybe. I don't remember.

1:24:05Frank Alvarez:So, like, high school. 9th. Cause I'm after you guys

1:24:09Joe Santagato:No cause we started We were in ninth We started high school in fall of 2006 And then we Holy shit did we?

1:24:18Frank Alvarez:Yeah We're fucking old bags

1:24:20Joe Santagato:Old bastards, old idiots, old dummies

1:24:22Frank Alvarez:Yeah dude My god That's insane Ew I'm disgusted by myself

1:24:27Joe Santagato:So we used to when my mom would go away for the weekend 20 years ago Drink at my house and play beer pong Yeah Isn't that bananas? Yeah

1:24:36Frank Alvarez:I don't think I've ever done 40 hands. I've done four local hands. See, but you guys are not. That's so much worse. That is so bad. You could literally hurt yourself.

1:24:46Joe Santagato:I haven't had a four local since college, and I don't think I ever can.

1:24:51Frank Alvarez:The last time I had them was with you in Connecticut.

1:24:53Joe Santagato:I actually didn't. The last time I had a four local, I didn't know it was a four local. I thought it was Powerade because it was in a Powerade bottle, and I chased, like, I, like, mixed it with vodka.

1:25:04Frank Alvarez:Oh, my God.

1:25:04Joe Santagato:I had a bad night that night. Hell, yeah. It was not good, brother.

1:25:08Frank Alvarez:The last time I had a Four Loko, me and Josh fought.

1:25:11Joe Santagato:Yes, I remember that quite vividly.

1:25:13Frank Alvarez:He started. He punched me right in the face for no reason. He did. On the dock. I asked him who he was on the phone with, and he just turned around and slapped me across the face, and I was like, I'm going to kill him. Yeah. This was before he was training, so I had the best of him.

1:25:25Joe Santagato:Yeah. If there was a rematch now, it wouldn't be good.

1:25:30Frank Alvarez:Tell you what, he slaps me in the face, I've asked him on the phone with, I'd be like, you know what, it's probably an important call.

1:25:34Joe Santagato:I'll turn around and go the other way. Well, Ant was just saying that he could box Josh and win.

1:25:39Frank Alvarez:Yeah, we should set that up. I remember that, right? You should set that up. I remember that. Yeah. Interesting. You should go spar with Josh a little bit. He'll take it easy on you, but he'll definitely throw a knee at you. I die! I!

1:25:51Joe Santagato:You know? Yeah, he'll fuck you up. But you did say that you could beat him in a fight.

1:25:57Frank Alvarez:I don't know if I said it.

1:25:59Joe Santagato:I'm going to tell your dad. It's crazy that he's talking about his coworkers in such a violent fashion.

1:26:04Frank Alvarez:I know, and I'm going to have to talk to HR. just talk to him

1:26:11Frank Alvarez:alright well Frank I appreciate you bringing in the ceremonial grade matcha if I ever get it back you haven't given it back to me I haven't

1:26:22Frank Alvarez:but yeah thank you for everyone like Frank said 40 ,000 patrons we're going to figure out what we're going to do we're definitely going to figure something out and yeah that's such a crazy number thank you guys so much for all the support I remember you know being like wow I really hope we can get to 3000 and now we're at fucking 40 which is insane so we appreciate all the support and everything really awesome

1:26:48Joe Santagato:Frank where can they find you the Frank Alvarez all over social media and then go check out patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard and

1:26:57Frank Alvarez:and you go follow me and Justin and that's all see you guys next time

1:27:35Frank Alvarez:We'll see you next time. bacon brussels side the season's most desirable menu has returned to sweet green featuring fall's best dressed make your move order on the sweet green app