#544 - Whole Milk Is Back

20:39Disgusting. Yeah, really gross. We don't suggest anyone do any sort of thing.

20:44Joe Santagato:Yeah, I mean, especially, like, I'm not going to start naming names, but there are, like, certain places now where predators are known to hang out and target people and, like, online. I'm not going to start dropping names of places or games or something, but it's a very serious thing. Like, I don't want to be making light of something. Like, it was funny that it happened to me because, like, it was like at the beginning of when this stuff started happening and as a kid i didn't know but like now we have the tools to know this shit yeah and protect our fucking loved ones against it so like very serious especially fucking people are sick fucks out there there really are six fucks um we started with spoiled milk and here we are yeah now we're at spoiled no i guess there's no way to make that work speaking of milk though did you see the rfk jr and kid rock video oh my god i gotta say for for kid rock who has thrown out some anti-gay slurs before that is quite a gay video dude that's we're not gonna get into the politics of it all because that's not what this show is i'm down to do that too i mean full screen this bitch oh sure uh the only thing i'm gonna need you guys to do is just tell me when to pause yes i'm not gonna Of course, full screen it.

22:02Joe Santagato:Well, hold on. Before we even start. Let me tee it up a little bit. Let's just say one thing. What's with the jeans? RFK doesn't take the jeans off. We'll get into that as the video goes as someone that has seen this. So for those of you guys that aren't from America and don't know, luckily, who these people are, RFK Jr., Robert Francis Kennedy Jr. is like the Secretary of Health or something like that. The guy's in great shape. I'm not going to take that away from him. but has said and done some questionable things and made suggestions about ways of being healthy kid rock not a shining example of american male health let me just say that i i know what i have never looked at kid rock and just gone i wonder what his fucking workout routine is but outside his lungs are clear yeah i mean he looks like he survived on cocaine cigarettes and jack daniels for the last 25 years.

22:59Joe Santagato:But they posted this as, like, a, like, motivational get up and get moving workout thing. I honestly don't even know what it's – what is it? Because it's, like, the whole milk part was just so weird. Can you just play it and we'll just, like, kind of – I don't want to play the whole thing through. So you have RFK Jr. on the left, Kid Rock on the right. Just play it. Just play it. Okay. Let's start. We'll just start. It's a minute and a half long. So, Secretary Kennedy and Kid Rocks, rock out, work out. Pause it, please. Let's start with this. We're never getting through this. It's okay, baby. We got a show here.

23:39Joe Santagato:They got me with the image of the eagle, the bear, and the great white shark. Really? I love those things, those animals, okay? Those are cool animals. You're too easy, dude. But calling it the rock out, work out. I just don't get what the point of this is. Just play it I got you I got you And it's like He's cheering He's like cheering him on Like let's go work out And then he's taking his shirt off Which no one has ever asked him to do And then he's serving food Okay Throw it Wait Hold on go back Did he take his shirt off And have another shirt under it What no I don't think so Who are you talking about Kid Rock No It looks like he was wearing another Yeah Oh it was like a sweater And he had a little shirt underneath yeah okay now he's just doing zero resistance workouts also bad form you're gonna hurt your neck there my friend but yeah it's like a workout video can we just like skip to the uh here we go now we're talking oh and then also this is great the assault bike in the the the uh sauna and then also at a certain point he jumps into the cold plunge fully in jeans yeah what is here oh oh Let's pause here.

24:55Joe Santagato:Well, now we know it's the cold plunge because the ice came in on the screen. Why isn't he wearing jeans? I know you have not watched Arrested Development, but there's a character on that show that's a never nude, and he wears jean cutoffs everywhere all the time and is afraid to be nude. And people are saying that RFK Jr. might be a never nude. I mean, it's very confusing that he's doing this. But then at one point during this video, they're in a hot tub together, and then it says whole milk in, like, drippy white. I mean, you don't need to spoil it. We'll get there. We could skip to it if you had.

25:35Well, first he jumps into the pool with more jeans, and then. Yeah. He also got out of the cold plunge. Yeah, and now it's, like, whole milk, and they drank whole milk. With the drippy. Like, what is that whole thing about? Like, what is it about?

25:51Joe Santagato:I think, like, there are people that are saying that, like, we have moved away from whole milk as a healthy drink. Not you. I love whole milk. You love whole milk. I'll tell you this. This does more damage to my whole milk appreciation than anything else. So maybe it's working. This is, like, you know what it is. There it is. Take another whiff. Oh, my God. Please stop. That milk. That was, like, the closest thing we'll get to, like, a hyper right-wing heated rivalry. like guys that's what that is guys just just kiss yeah i don't know what's just kiss no one's gonna like we'll be like accepting i promise i mean you might have said some things that maybe people will give you a little flack for a little bit like me no not you kid oh oh kid yeah he has but like guys if you want to kiss like well i'll accept you i think you will too and questionable I just feel like it's like a weird video.

26:47I just don't know what it what it means Like it's like what's we're gonna work out and then we're gonna drink whole milk in a hot tub

26:54Joe Santagato:What well like what are we doing? Is that not the I assume the idea of that is to get up and work out be more active Is it? I'm gonna ask you a question You watch that does that make you excited to work out? No, it's I'm confused what if I told you that it wasn't in this video because we don't want to get in trouble and owe money to Kid Rock what if I told you that the whole thing was underscored by the song Ba with the Ba yeah I did hear that if anything that just makes it more confusing for me and it's just like it's so funny the edit is so funny to me because it's just like the typical like America thing it's like eagles, bears, the flag whole milk?

27:41Like what? What are we attaching to?

27:44Joe Santagato:I am just as confused by that as I am. The several pairs of blue jeans that he works out in. I think that was one pair of jeans that was wet, then in the sauna, and then back to wet again. To be fair, don't you kind of resonate with that a little bit? Fuck you. Yeah, you were in there. Fuck you. Full jeans. You see that point, by the way? I did. Yeah, you know you saw it. You're in full jeans in the sauna? i've never i have never once worked out in jeans however i think now for experimenting maybe maybe we have to give it a shot maybe we need to wearing wet jeans i mean they were working out legs like they were doing they were also doing some back and shoulders in there you know the blue jeans sitting in a car at one point like What is this video?

28:35Joe Santagato:The blue jeans of it all is the most confusing because this is the type of, like, propaganda that does work for a very select group of people in this country. Blue jeans? Like, the whole, like, holding up a flag in front of a statue of Lady Liberty in your home. Was that who that was? That was the Statue of Liberty. Oh, was it? Yeah. My God. Like, and then working out in blue, like, like work out in my blue jeans like that does work for people i don't know if i've ever had wet jeans on oh that's a good i know i have because like i have put on like not jeans i guess they're kind of like work pants over like sweat pants to go in the snow okay so like those get wet why not wear snow pants because i don't own any you don't have snow pants no why because i don't snows every year though yeah not enough to justify wearing pants one day a year just one pair of pants i don't care enough for snow pants like it makes sense because you go skiing and snowboarding yeah that makes sense to have snow pants it makes zero sense for me to have snow pants i wouldn't say zero zero okay Never had a full drink Spilt in your lap Wearing jeans I've had It goes right through I have I think Yeah I have been I had a wet penis All the way through I have I have been caught Whoa In like the rain in jeans And like the thighs Get very wet That's like the most Uncomfortable feeling Like I've got caught In the rain in jeans And I'm like Yo it's so uncomfortable I can't imagine being Completely wet What are you talking about That was like a very specific Like you had a pina colada Just poured right through Your jeans or something It's like just a cocktail Or a beer It just went right through It landed on top But you felt it in the back You know what I mean?

30:29Someone spilled a drink on your penis And you felt it in your ass? Actually I can relate to that It feels like you're like sitting in it Yeah, it went right through the whole thing

30:37Joe Santagato:Yeah, I think I've had that experience as well Well you gotta buy better jeans then That's such a porous jeans I mean no, no, he's right Jeans are Denim is very porous And absorbent So I feel your pain I have felt it I'm currently feeling it Thinking back on it Well I appreciate you feeling it whoa see what he did i mean i feel like you set him up for that to be fair i is there a reality where we film a rebuttal one you and i film a like rock out workout bass banyard edition and it's us at the gym you could be in jeans i could be kid rock you want to be kid rock i don't want to be but if someone has to be i'll take that bullet doing push it i'll take that bullet and then we when we jump into the hot tub what are we drinking whole milk brother oh what do you think we're just gonna remake it well i think we should do our version of it right so that's what we wouldn't drink i guess i do like chocolate milk why would we drink that i don't know because it's the opposite of them trying to be healthy milk, right?

31:48Isn't this the thing? I don't know. I don't even know what you're saying. See, that's how confusing it is. I mean, it's a very confusing video. I drink Kool-Aid, like a fruit punch or something. Damn, I haven't had fruit punch in a long time. Now we're talking.

31:59Joe Santagato:I do have a thing of Kool-Aid at my house. Yo, when was the last... What? You have Kool-Aid? Yeah. Oh, shit. You want it? No. Oh. All right. I mean, it makes sense. You have children. What am I going to do with it? I mean, we haven't opened it yet. When was the last time you had a Hawaiian punch? oh too long brother which i've never been to hawaii something tells me that's not hawaiian like punch like real hawaiian punch is probably not that color i don't think that's like dr pepper should only be working on peppers like no but like dr pepper has it's like it's spicy because it's cinnamon in there, but like Hawaiian Punch is just in the name.

32:45Joe Santagato:Like I'm sure if you went to Hawaii and you were like, where's the Hawaiian Punch? They'd hit you. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. Because I think we're all under the assumption that it's just not, it's not actually like Hawaiian based. Yeah, I know. It's been a while. I will tell you this. Here you go. Rank these. And it can be any flavor you want, whatever the best flavor is of these three drinks. Uh-huh. Kool-Aid. Yeah. Hawaiian Punch, Capri Sun, High C. Go.

33:17What was it again? Oh, Kool-Aid's number one. Kool-Aid's number one? Yeah. And what's your flavor? The coolers. The cooler, the jammers. Oh, the one that came in the plastic bottle?

33:27Joe Santagato:Yeah, and it looks like a lobster. It looks like a spaceship. Or that, too. It does. Hawaiian Punch is not made in Hawaii. No shit, Sherlock. All right. I mean, you're the one. just just um i'll put kool-aid first probably capri sun second capri sun is up there i don't like when they try to put kool-aid in the pouches like the pouch pouch game was a capri sun game yeah that's it respect respect that they established that um then high c okay hawaiian punch what was the other one was that the last one hawaiian punch kool-aid high c and capri sun Yeah, yeah, I put Hawaiian punch last. Really? It's good, but, like, it also, like, I don't know if this is true or not, but I feel like it can't get cold.

34:11Joe Santagato:Wow, that's an astute observation. Like, I've never had that and be like, oh, this is cold. It's never cold. I don't think I've ever had cold versions of any of those drinks. Can you look that up, actually? Because I wonder if that's an actual thing. Because I've, like, tested that before and be like, I don't know if I can get this cold. Because I would put it in my fridge. Because it comes in a fucking 30-gallon jug. It does. And you have to keep it in the fridge for four weeks for it to get even remotely cold. Do you want me to look up if the liquid drink Hawaiian Punch can get cold? Yes. Okay.

34:39I'm just making sure. Do your fucking job. I have a theory that it can't. The question I would write here is, can Hawaiian Punch get cold? Yeah. Okay.

34:48Joe Santagato:I think it's a great question, and I don't like the judgment he's using. I'm just clarifying. I will tell you this. It is a top search. Sorry to interrupt. Right? Is it? But yes. Hawaiian Punch gets cold. when refrigerated or placed over ice. I don't believe it. You don't drink any of that shit with ice. But if other people are asking that, there's something. There is. You drink it out of either a cardboard box or a reflective plastic pouch. Wait a minute. It does say the high sugar content acts as an antifreeze, meaning it requires lower temperatures than water to reach freezing states. So technically, the threshold of being cold is lower.

35:32Bro, I'm pretty sure that if you put Hawaiian Punch in the freezer, it wouldn't freeze like vodka.

35:38Joe Santagato:Well, I think if your freezer is set to 32, it might not. But if your freezer is set to like minus two, like most are, then yeah, it'll probably freeze. I don't know, dude. I'd give you like 40%. I'll say this. It's a theory. It's a theory. That's such a fucking great point. To also piggyback off that, I've never had a warm yoo-hoo. every you who i have had oh i've had it really i mean they're on the floor that was a stupid way of saying what i wanted to say that was a very stupid way of saying that i meant like how are you drinking your you that's very dumb those i missed all the contacts my at my mom's house she would buy drinks like that that come in like cases or whatever and she would have them on the floor near the back door and I would just drink them like that.

36:32They're on the floor. As if that was like, oh, okay.

36:36Joe Santagato:My point is like, they're not stored cold. But like cans, I remember our friend always had cans of freezing. That was basically like beer for an eight-year-old. Yeah. Because like you'd crack it and like. Real quick, we have sponsors, but. Yoohoo, not one of them. Not one of them, but we are going to bring that right back up. We have Squarespace, okay? Squarespace is a platform where you're going to build your website with it. They have a bunch of templates that are going to help you out and build your website. If you make content or you have an e-commerce business or any sort of retail business or anything online, you're going to need a professional-looking website.

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40:32Joe Santagato:So patreon.com slash TheBaseBanyard. And if you want to try to save yourself a couple extra bucks while you're doing it, do it on a web browser, okay? If you use the app, you're going to have to pay our tech overlords a little extra money, so they upcharge you. So if you go to a web browser and you go to patreon.com slash the base of a yard, you sign up there, you'll save yourself some money and you'll get more of us. We love you. We thank you. We appreciate you. And that's it. That's all I got. Check it out. So what were we saying? I was talking about you who and how much I've drank of that. I in high school, I would get it every single morning.

41:05I mean, I four years of you who you got kind of damage I've done to my body from like eighth until 10th grade.

41:12Joe Santagato:every morning my breakfast was a can of coca-cola and a blt like it we were not wait you have coca-cola for breakfast yeah oof yoohoo what has more sugar a can of yoohoo or a can of coca-cola couldn't tell you probably coca-cola i would say coca-cola but it might not the margin might be slimmer i feel like they're both bad they're both like equally like coca-cola is like like 35 milligrams where Yoohoo might be in the low 20s, low to mid 20s. I know a can of Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola is 39 grams of sugar. Holy moly. Yoohoo is 33. Holy moly again. So who's fucking who? Yeah. Did you know that Yoohoo has no milk in it?

42:02Yeah.

42:03Joe Santagato:Yeah, they can't call it chocolate milk. It's like chocolatey drink. Chocolate drink, yeah. It's weird. That tripped me out. I'm okay with it. I mean, I'm not looking to have it to, like, supplement my milk intake. You know what I did once? I put a glass bottle of Yoo-Hoo 2, and I would put it in a bowl, and then I'd put cereal in it. Oh, yeah, duh. Like I think of, like, Cocoa Pebbles or Cocoa Puffs or something. Yeah. I was not a big chocolatey cereal kid, but I could see why that would. But you could also just do regular milk. Bro, what I would do to a Cocoa Pebble right now. A Fruity Pebble?

42:41Bro, you get a Fruity Pebble in front of me? I'll show you something.

42:43Joe Santagato:I mean, I'm down for some Fruity Pebbles. Ant, can you make it happen? A multiple cereal taste test episode? Door Dash right now. Don't do this. A half gallon of whole milk. Oh, God. We can't get more milk. And some Fruity Pebbles, so we can have some fucking Fruity Pebbles in here. I want to put my tongue through an apple, Jack. Oh, well. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? I'm not going to touch that one. You know it, though. You want to do it, too. Not through an apple, Jack. Yeah. I love, call me a sadist. Is that the one that loves pain? Masochist. That's it. I think sadists like evil or something like that.

43:23Joe Santagato:But, like, I used to love putting a crunch berry between my tongue and the roof of my mouth and crushing it. And then it would just shred the top of my mouth like a cheese grater. I know you're going to make fun of me, but let me get it out first. The honeycomb. I know you would suck through it all the time. What did I just say? What did I just say? Hello, call my therapist. I fucking knew it.

43:44I like sucking it and making it crush. And making it flat.

43:48Joe Santagato:Real flat. Like those videos of people putting things into vacuums. And then they cut all the oxygen out. And then just... I have no idea what you just described. You've never seen those. What is he talking about? I thought you were talking about the hydraulic machine that crushes stuff. What do you think is by serving size? the most unhealthy, like, sugary cereal. I imagine it's gotta be fruity. No, Froot Loops? Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure it's Frosted Flakes. No way! Dude, Frosted Flakes. No! I've convinced myself. No! For worse, or better, that Frosted Flakes is, like, healthy adjacent. Dude, it's so good.

44:33Joe Santagato:It's Flakes! It's Corn Flakes! It's cornflakes, but it's like... It ain't fucking... Frosted. But it ain't the other ones, dude. It's gotta be Froot Loops. Cinnamon Toast Crunch has to be worse than Frosted Flakes. Because you're getting a thing of Froot Loops that is just every color that is not natural. I saw this thing that one of the cheesecakes, it's their most calorically dense cheesecakes from the Cheesecake Factory, up against other stuff. It's like a Reese's Pieces cheesecake or whatever. It's 1 ,500 calories for a slice. What? That's bad. But it's cheesecake. That's bananas. I'm going to eat it.

45:13Yeah, I mean, it's probably delicious.

45:15Joe Santagato:I imagine that it's got to be Froot Loops at the top. It's so tough because I think like Fruity Pebbles, but... Why don't you look this up? This is very easy. No, I am. I'm trying here. Just pull up like the nutrition facts on like the heavy hitters. We got cereal crunch time Honey crunch with nuts Does anybody know that? Kohl's honey crunch with nuts If you think I am going into a grocery store And I'm picking out honey crunches with nuts I hope you take a gun and shoot me in the face Well it's saying that by weight That's 42 % sugar What the bag? Yeah and Frosted flakes is 41 % sugar No! Like the bag I mean, he's saying by weight, though, a corn flake is like papyrus.

46:06Joe Santagato:So, of course, it's going to be heavier because of the amount of sugar that's caked on this thing. I'll tell you what. My favorite bowl of Frosted Flakes is when you get to the end and then you just dump a bunch of that fucking dust in there. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I'm not looking for by weight what the amount of sugar is. How is this hard? How are you not just looking at Frosted Flakes sugar content? I'm trying to get a bunch of cereals at one. Let's just get the one. How much sugar is in? Is there more sugar in a Coca-Cola or a fucking— I mean, to his defense, he needs to find, like, of comparable serving sizes.

46:36Joe Santagato:So, like, if a serving size for this one is a third of a cup and that one it's a half a cup, like— They're all—it's cereal. It should be the same. No, different—you can quantify what a serving size is, like, yourself. It doesn't need to be— Okay, so I got a bunch of cereals, serving sizes of 30 grams, and their sugar content. This guy's going by grams. Where the fuck— I believe it's a bowl. I believe it's a bowl. We're in a good old—you didn't see that RFK Kid Rock video? We want it in Fahrenheit. From what it looks like here, Frosted Mini Wheats and Captain Crunch are the highest at 15.7 grams of sugar.

47:10Whoa, Frosted Mini Wheats?

47:11Joe Santagato:I, again, convinced myself that those are healthy, too. Me, too. I like when I get a double. Or when you get one that is just covered. Just the house is painted with this shit. Yeah, blizzard on this fucking bitch. I'm talking like four coats of paint on this bastard. Oh, my God, I love this shit. And then you get one that's like nothing on it. and you're like, who is this idiot? Why do I feel like I'm from Kansas or Kentucky? I'm eating hay. What am I, a horse? Get the fuck out of here, Dorothy. Wait, that one has a lot of sugar in it? Yep. Captain Crunch and Frosted Mini Wheats, very high. Top two.

47:41Wow. They're tied. Captain Crunch. Captain Crunch, I get. I mean, there's nothing real about that.

47:47Joe Santagato:No, I would get it if it was Oops All Berries, which is the superior version. Frank, those are all dyed anyway. I know, but I'm saying like Captain Crunch, like Captain Crunch without Crunch Berries is just those little yellow puffs. Yeah, but those are dyed. Right? Yeah. Yeah. It's not like a piece of corn. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. What else we got? What the hell is the Frosted Flakes before I cut my own head off at the neck? I am a little disappointed with Frosted Flakes. I really thought Tony the Tiger was saying they're great in terms of how they work for you.

48:20Frosted Flakes is 10.3 grams of sugar per.

48:24Joe Santagato:That's not fit. But what's the serving size? 30 grams. Which is what, a third of a cup? So it's a third of the serving size of sugar is essentially what it's saying. And if it's serving size, you're putting like close to a cup and a half in this fucking bowl, baby. No, I'm not. You're going to? Frank, whatever the biggest bowl in my house is, is getting filled to the brim and then refilled. I love how we have somehow... The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything. Even our music That hit song named after the color of lemons Not a coincidence Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years Think about it But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda Now lime comes first 7up, flip the sip And by we, I mean me, but you're in this with me now, baby Convinced ourselves that sugary cereal is still in a way healthy Oh, yeah.

49:27Joe Santagato:That ship has sailed. I know. I know. So Frosted Flakes is 10.3 grams of sugar per, but Fruity Pebbles is 10. Whoa, hold on. Hold on. But Fruity Pebbles is basically. I mean, now I'm on a diet. Now I'm on a diet. Fruity Pebbles, I'm on a diet. Yeah, if anything, Fruity Pebbles is better for you than Frosted Flakes. The thing, though, is actually it's probably not. Just because they're so small. I can get rid of the half a bag like that. Yeah, but if it's going by serving size, it all equates. Like, they're saying a serving size of Frosted Flakes might be 100 Frosted Flakes, where a serving size of Fruity Pebbles might be 500.

50:14Joe Santagato:Sure, sure, sure. But I definitely think I could eat the bag of Fruity Pebbles in two sittings, and the Frosted Flakes might take me three minutes. I love Fruity Pebbles for the first minute and a half that I have that bowl there. After that, it becomes— You guys are crazy. I like a little soggy cereal. No, I'm sorry. It basically becomes like toilet water. Like, I'm—it, like, sops up and becomes like a— Frank, if that's what toilet water tastes like, give me a swirly. Yeah, okay. Flush it and let it drain in. You want to head in there, right? That was crazy. Cinnamon Toast Crunch, 9.7. Literally a diet.

50:51Literally a diet.

50:52Joe Santagato:That's crazy because they've also mastered what breakfast cereal is. We've said we've done this before and we'll say it again. Best cereal. That's the best cereal. That's S tier for you. Yeah, it is. Maybe sometimes you get a shrimp tail in there. Did that happen? Yeah, that was them. You don't remember that? Was the guy having lunch? No, the guy poured out a bowl and he got a cinnamon frosted shrimp tail, which I'm gonna go out on a limb for a second. I would think it was like a sweepstakes. I'd be like, oh, lucky me. Oh, shit. Yeah, but we come from the days of like you open up a fucking cereal box and there's like a PlayStation 1 demo disc in there.

51:29Does that not happen anymore?

51:30Joe Santagato:Now they do like Cracker Jack prizes where it's like tear this paper off and it's a fucking model tax book or some shit. I hated when fucking cereals, like they don't have toys in them and they're like, oh, just, you know, mail it in for a rebate. I'm like, bro, I still to this day, I have no idea what a rebate is and I'll tell you I'll I'm not participating I'm not I'll never figure it out because I need to stand in solidarity with you oh I need to we need to mail this in and then we'll send it it's not happening yeah you get a$200 mail-in rebate I'm not I'm not doing work you want me to get up and do work after I just gave you all my money I'm not paying for this for you to mail me money back what do we do I'm like so what so in a month and a half I get a check for a hundred bucks fuck you kellogg's yeah i'm not i'm not doing i mean what are you so pensively looking up now just making sure if you ask for more cereals that i had any and i have none i mean what are what what is another we need to know give me well i just all right give me honeycombs i don't because or corn pops i'm a little when corn pops used to come in the bag that looks like it was sent to space oh they got rid of that yeah it's the area 51 bag yes now it's in a regular ass fucking bag.

52:43Joe Santagato:Oh my God. Such nuts. Such nuts. Yeah. I don't know what, how many grams are going off of, but it says 15 grams per serving. That's not. Higher than I thought. That's not that low. I was expecting it to be low. Corn pops are kind of ass. Come on now. You like them? I kind of like. Oh, Apple Jacks. Yeah, Apple Jacks are great. Apple Jacks. Corn pops are like. I like corn pops. Gotta have my pops. You know what I like? Kicks. Berry Berry Kicks. Now we're talking. But that's another one. Now you're getting crazy. This is dessert now. I know. Berry Berry Kicks. That was another one that was just like a healthier alternative.

53:19Joe Santagato:Like if you were in elementary school and someone found out you had Kicks, you'd be like, all right. What are you? You know? Yeah. You think you're a fucking model of health? Yeah. Do you know any grown adults that like non-honey Cheerios? No. I'm going to go one step further. Cheerios kind of suck. Honey Nut Cheerios are fantastic. Yeah, Honey Nut. They can suck my nuts. You don't like Honey Nut Cheerios for real? No, they can suck my nuts. That's crazy. Frosted Cheerios. Ooh. Well, hey, time to grow up, though. Okay? You graduated. You're the one that just said you'd eat a box of Fruity Pebbles in two bowls.

53:59Joe Santagato:Who needs to grow up? I said I would eat it in one sitting like a grown-up. Okay. And I also haven't done that in two years. That's recent, brother. But two years ago. that's real recent two years ago i wanted like a little cereal kick because i was like i'll just eat everything out because i i hadn't eaten cereal in literally like six years okay to treat yourself a little bit i'm just saying i fell into a hole and it was a deep deep dairy baby yeah yep yep and it was a deep dark rabbit hole and i uh was just buying cereal and then i was just crushing god let's get cereal in here see this is why it's good that like we talk this stuff out well just just Let's get cereal in here.

54:40It's so stupid. No, but it's good that, like, you know, if I lived alone. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah. I would eat like an idiot.

54:48Joe Santagato:Well, I did live alone, and I did eat like an idiot. Do you remember the big fucking boxes where it was, like, three of them? Oh, well, you'd get them from, like, Costco. Yeah, dude. You'd go to Costco, and it would be a fucking, like, time machine box. Oh, God. And it would have three bags in there, which you could never get back in once you open the bag. No, no Once it's open And you open the box It's done And it would be like But see this is how they'd get you They'd put a shitty one in there It'd be like Apple Jacks Fruit Loops And then fucking Honey Smacks Or something stupid Or like Rice Krispies Which are good I love Rice Krispies You gotta add sugar I love hearing that shit Fucking talk to you In like Spanish And shit like that That's what I imagine Like people that Watched the Turning Point USA Halftime show Thought that the like Bad Bunny halftime show Sounded like like snap crackle pop just like a like a bowl like those people are like i'm not listening to this and to them it just sounds like

55:46you interpreting the sound that rice krispy makes as his like hispanic or spanish i'm saying i

55:53Joe Santagato:imagine that's what they thought it sounded like because they're the idiots not me right i'm not yeah and what's your favorite cereal if you all right because we we've talked about it give us your top three frosted flakes yeah number one uh i think so interchangeable doesn't you don't need to worry i respect it cinnamon toast crunch yeah and then respectful cocoa uh cocoa pebbles yes oh you're not a puff guy no i'll tell you this i don't know what it is because i'm 99 sure it's not actual fruit flavors tricks is amazing i used to fuck with tricks when they were shapes there's they're back to shapes brother that's good news they've come all the way back to shapes because they were balls for a while yeah when it was all balls i'm like this is too much balls they put a lot of balls in there and now they're back to shapes i like shapes i also love my lucky charms i know grow up i know i know i need to no they're overrated but i would never go as far as i would say they're not very good you know what sucks actually i don't know if they suck golden grams dude if you like good and bad honey smacks or golden grams just do all we ate a lot of honey smacks growing up but they taste like a old brown house yep like you would need to like read like a first edition of like the hobbit when you had that when i when i'm eating honey smacks i'm thinking of the original wizard of oz and like that bitch in the beginning that's like a little dog like i'm thinking of her yeah the neighbor whatever that idiot's name was wasn't she the witch she ended up being the witch it was played by margaret hamilton correct i would imagine that like the people that ate honey smacks also like regularly had like framed burlap sacks on their wall and ran an antique shop and like played with tops pogs what's that you remember pogs they were weird they were right before pogs it was like 1993 1994 they were like little cardboard circles with like characters on them and like it was like the slammer and it was like a card game oh i thought you i thought you were saying pog like pog like a never mind you got it you know you know what's a pog you know what i'm talking about pog i'm gonna say no you know i know What's a POG?

58:14It's a porn term.

58:18Joe Santagato:Okay, you've lost me. Well, it's spelled P-A-W-G, so I'll let you come up with something. Is it an acronym for something? Yep. Can't wait. Just so we're clear, this is Frank figuring out for the first time what a POG is. So it's P-A-W-G. So it's used as like... It's an acronym. An acronym, but it's used to describe someone or something. Both So like Without a hint it's gonna be tough Pretty ass wipe gentleman Okay you're like close but Gentleman's crazy Pretty ass Widow guy Guy What the hell are you what was that G the guy the G's a guy It's not widow guy Okay Go back to the last one you did Pretty ass.

59:15Joe Santagato:With. No, Frank. Think racism. It's porn titles here. Oh, I don't want to do that. Well, think of race. Think of race. Pretty ass white. Now we're getting somewhere. Gay.

59:34No, no, no, no. Pretty ass white. There's one other G word. I think there's... Gag. No. Oh, there's two. There's two others. Don't overthink it. It's like, you know, this is a thing that's happening between this and that. A pretty ass white girl? Yeah, but it's not pretty. Think 90s. Think 90s. Posh? Posh? You're thinking Spice Girls? No, no. Think 90s and like cool. Like, oh, that's cool. That's. With a P. With a P. But it doesn't sound like a P. It doesn't sound like a P. No, it sounds like a different one. If you ask... Oh, is it fat? Fat-ass white girl. That's mean. No, it's about her... No, it's about the butt.

1:00:20It's about the butt. Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's not like a fat... It's not like a fat-ass... No, it's like a fat-ass white girl. Oh, oh, that... It's a porn term. So when you said pogs, I was like, what? No, this is P-O-G. Yeah, different. P-O-G.

1:00:35Joe Santagato:Yeah. And I would say P-H-A-T, fat. It was like an early to mid-2000s thing. Was it? Fat farm. Oh, right, right, right, right. Yeah, my ears were off. Yeah, because of fat farm. I remember in Meet the Fockers where he goes into, or maybe the second one or whatever the fuck. Or maybe that was. Yeah, it was Meet the Fockers. Meet the Fockers was the first one. Meet the Fockers was the second. Little Fockers was the third. It was the second one. And then he goes into the kid's bedroom. And he's like, oh, little Kim, she's fat. P-H-A-T. I always remember that that's funny oh we have more sponsors this is probably a horrible spot not for long we keep talking about pogs it's alright they'll cancel them we have Skim Skim makes underwear for you guys for guys and gals they're very comfortable and they're very breathable they're not too tight on you but they make really high quality stuff so you can definitely go check them out they sent us some stuff uh from their collection and uh yeah they have like a workout underwear now uh which is good so they have like a stretch boxer brief um but it's it's it's good stuff so you can shop the best underwear for men and women at skims.com let them know that we sent you after you place your order select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows but you know they got a they got a lot of stuff there and also it's for women, obviously, so they have underwear and stuff for men and women, but yeah, for you fellows out there, if you need some more, you know, boxers in your life, they have a stretch five-inch boxer brief that is key, all right, so go shop men and women at skims.com and let them know that we sent you, and then the last thing we have here is HIMSS, okay, HIMSS, they offer convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments.

1:02:30And yeah, they're doctor trusted, doctor trusted ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil, which can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. So if you're thinning or you want to, you know, just be proactive about, about that, then this is for you. And there's no hidden fees, no surprise costs, just real personalized care on your schedule for simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss ed weight loss and more visit hymns.com basement that is hymns.com basement for your free online visit hymns.com basement feature products include compounded drug products which the fda does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required see website for full details restrictions and important safety information and individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and vanesteride um all right so what the hell were you talking about uh you were talking about you were explaining

1:03:28Joe Santagato:pogs yeah can you look up the 90s pogs just to show him you might know if you might recognize it like a like a it's a it was like a little like cardboard circle and like it was like a game and like it came with like the power rangers on it jurassic park oh the game do the game did you say you had another one of these games oh you want to you want a riddle you want yeah yeah fuck i hate these goddamn riddles. Okay, so all you have to do is tell me how many horses are in the stable. Got it? What stable? Whichever stable is in your mind. How many horses are there? Okay. Ready? Three. What? It didn't happen yet.

1:04:05Oh. Here we go.

1:04:09How many horses are there?

1:04:11Joe Santagato:I counted six. One, two, three, four, five. Are these multiple? Are you multiple? Nine maybe actually? I'm going to say two. I said nine. There were five. Come on now. Five? There were five. All right. Okay. I'm going to fucking walk because you know I hate these. And you guys, this is what happens. I'm not in on this one. You guys get them first. And then I have to sit here like an idiot. How about now? Three. Three. There were three. I got it. You got it? I got it. I said three too just because he said it. Now? You go first. Six. I said three. One. There's one. I'm going to get very angry, but I'm trying to push.

1:04:58Joe Santagato:Son of a bitch. Shut up.

1:05:03Can you get it this time?

1:05:12Six. Five. There were six. I got it now. How? How? I have it. I got it. Hit me in again.

1:05:22Joe Santagato:It's... I don't know. Slow. Very slow, please. One, two, three. One, two. Last try. Two, three, one, two. Five. Two. There were two. Oh, my God. I'm so got it. I'm so got it. I got it. Hang up that fucking phone. You want to try again? What do you think is going on? It's got to be something that you're doing with your hands. Has to be Has to be something I'm doing with my hands Alright, so put your hands down and do it Well, I can't because So it is his hands So it is his hands Go again Okay Go ahead

1:06:04That was How many horses are there now?

1:06:11Joe Santagato:Seven There were six I swear to God I'm going to flip this fucking table over How did you get to seven? Yeah, what was seven? I'm watching his hands and then he went like this. So I thought it was like an upside down seven. So do it and keep your hands here. All right. All right. Fuck. Stop. Fuck. I lost it. I lost it. You blinked? Start again. Start again. That matters.

1:06:38What about? Ten. Now. Ten? Ten. I'm going to say three. It's three.

1:06:45Joe Santagato:Come on, guys. I figured it out. Oh, I like being in on inside jokes when I'm inside them. But you do. I don't know how much more I can help you. One more? All right. Make it as obvious as you can. Three, two, three. Now? Three. Three minus two plus one. So, two? How many, Joe? It's like one. It was one. It was one. Wait. Didn't I? No, I said two because you did one two three so it's that yeah minus that so three minus two plus One so two okay. All right, maybe you're getting close. You're not here. We go One two three four now doesn't matter ready

1:07:36How many horses are in the stable now

1:07:41Joe Santagato:Is it like is there multiplication involved? So 3 plus 3 times 2 12 8 8

1:07:52Can I do it? Sure, do it to him Frank, I'm going to get you to get this And I'll answer I'll answer So now I'm with you

1:07:58Joe Santagato:Give me a split fucking second to take a sip What is that? What are you drinking, by the way? It's tea That's tea? It looks like dehydrated urine Yeah, maybe it is It looks like something from Jurassic Park That would attract It's sparkling tea Oh Ready?

1:08:16How many horses?

1:08:23Six. I think there's three. No, okay. How do I? Well, there were three. Yes, yes. Okay. How do I? Good luck. Okay. Here we go. Okay, hold on. Hold on. No, no, no. I'm doing you a favor.

1:08:39Joe Santagato:Hold on.

1:08:43Now Three I think there was one You know there's one I know there's one Frank why am I doing this

1:08:54Joe Santagato:Maybe it's not So it's the cycling of these So it starts with snaps And then it goes to a different cycle And then it goes to a different cycle So that's three different cycles Think about the other times We played the game right Yo, I'm gonna fucking come over there and pour that milk down your fucking throat. You said he was stupid? I said you're stupid. I'm gonna pour that milk down your fucking throat. Alright, Joe, maybe you just gotta go real slow. Try again. Okay, ready?

1:09:23How many horses?

1:09:28Three? Yes.

1:09:32Joe Santagato:Okay. Try it again.

1:09:37Now?

1:09:41Three No I thought you had it There's one Why was there one? Why was there three before? I guessed it Damn it I thought you were on it

1:09:53Joe Santagato:I fucking hate these little bar tricks You go to fucking bars too much You fuck And you Fuck you too I don't I'm talking You know what? You earn a bitch here Write that down You two bitch

1:10:10Joe Santagato:Can you just tell me? Yeah, I guess just reveal it now. All right, wait, wait. Let me do it. Okay. And then you tell me... How many horses there are. How many horses I... Are in the stable. Okay. Sure.

1:10:28Joe Santagato:How many? Two. Two. I thought... I was thinking like five. But I don't know how I can think Why would we both say two? Yeah, we both said two Had we come up with that at the same time

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1:11:20Joe Santagato:I'm gonna do it again. But then count down from three and we'll say it at the same time. Okay. Yeah.

1:11:31three two one zero yeah zero i guess okay all right now we have to tell him it's just the amount of words you say after when you ask the question

1:11:47yo i fucking hate that's why when you were like so do it again do it again do it again do it again They're like, how many horses? Three. Yeah. You had to count that? God. Good job. That's when he was like, how many horses are in the stable? My hands are underneath. I'm like, how many horses are in the stable?

1:12:06Joe Santagato:I hate that so much. Yeah. I just don't. Because you know why? Because I fixate on one thing there. Yeah. And I think there's something in that thing, like the hand things, that I'm not getting. I always think that when he brings up one of those that it's like it can't be the obvious one. So I'm trying to think of everything. I'm glad you think that because I don't. So that's why you get it. And I do not. I fail. It was fun from this side of the club for sure. Yeah. You pointing at me and saying that I'm stupid. I'm not kidding. Take another whiff of that milk right now. I feel like pledge. Do it.

1:12:38I feel like that. Do you think that's like a very offensive thing someone could say to you? That you're stupid? Yeah.

1:12:44Joe Santagato:Yeah. Yeah. But like obviously he didn't – he obviously didn't say it in a serious manner. No, no, no. Yeah, I'm not. I don't think you're stupid. Well, in that moment maybe. I'm kidding. I would say that like it's so tough because like if some random listener said like this guy's an actual fucking idiot. Yeah. I wouldn't care. But like if someone knows the real person that I am and says like you're just stupid. or like you're not smart that I would you know me I would go into a fucking well that's what I mean I feel like that that's like would that would offend you more than like other offensive things for some reason yes yeah because I think like that is a level of like like you need to really not know me to think that I'm flat out stupid you know what I mean like he's defending why he's not stupid.

1:13:43Joe Santagato:I don't need to defend why I'm not stupid. I know. And the people that know me, like that's the point that I'm making is like the people that know me know I'm not stupid. So like if someone were to say it, like if Joey were to say like, seriously, like I just think you're dumb. I'd be like, what the, like, you know me, you know, I'm not, you know what I mean? Yeah, I agree. I think it's tough because like so much of this podcast is us like assuming or not even assuming confidently stating we know something and then being proven wrong yeah not me lately i've been on a roll that was the last episode and happened twice it's two more than the one before that that's right baby well anything up from zero but like it's now become like a thing like we do it as a joke you know which thing like the like these guys know nothing where it'll be like oh the queen and it's like who you know and now it's become like a whole pod, uh, a whole podcast, like sub genre of like people just not knowing like guys, just not knowing things.

1:14:42Joe Santagato:And people think that's like a bit that we do. Yeah. I mean, I definitely like know a good bit, but I definitely, uh, say things confidently that I'm not sure about. I also don't tout myself as the smartest person in the room today. Like

1:15:02rank the three of us in order of intelligence oh yeah that's really i honestly would say we're all on equal levels here i really would like media train say say what you want about the

1:15:13Joe Santagato:next thing that's coming out of my mouth well yeah i had known you and then as i've been getting to know you more i'm like he's a smart kid oh so at first you thought i was a no i just didn't know you but like as i've gotten to know you i could be like wow he's he's like you're very well spoken you know a lot about a good amount of stuff like but but like i didn't know you so i couldn't have said that you know what i mean are you smart that's for other people to decide i think yeah how are your grades growing up very good i don't think that's i don't think that's the standard no no no i'm just because i know people that had great grades that are just fucking idiots it's fair i think i think to be smart you need to be well like you need to be well versed in it like not well versed but like able to hold conversation and stuff and also a part of being smart is knowing when to say like i don't know and we that's a part that i think we need to work out

1:16:14that's the part we need to work out as it left your mouth you're like well that's not what we do at all

1:16:21Joe Santagato:yeah but like they're getting they're not getting the real versions of us that's so good you know you gotta be able to be like I think there are things that you guys are like know more about than I do as there are things that I know more about than you do and stuff like that but like i think in terms of like our capacity for intelligence i would say all of us are pretty close like i wouldn't i don't think i'm smarter or dumber than either any of you guys what have i done why did i bring that up now there are other people that we know that i have full-on called idiots right yeah you know

1:17:02that was so funny oh my god dude that got me good well you have to know when to say i don't know that's important which we don't know but like intelligence is also like your like desire to also like your capacity for learning like

1:17:27Joe Santagato:and willingness to learn. People that are just like, I know what I know and I'm not learning anything else. I don't care about other perspectives. I think that is a form of an idiot. A form of an idiot, yeah. A form of stupidity. It's one of the genres. It's one of the genres. Who do you think is the smartest in the room? I don't know. I was just doing it to stir the pot. I was hoping you had a snap answer. I know it won't give a real answer. The smart answer is no answer. Like you gave. We're all in the same. I mean, but if we're also going to be technical, we do need to look at levels of schooling.

1:18:02Joe Santagato:If you're saying, what are your grades? Well, let's just. Let's just. Let's look at the. Let's find a way. Let's call a chicken a hen. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. What? Exactly. He doesn't know it. Yeah, I don't. We got it here. Don't drag me. You have a degree? I do. He does. In what? Finance. Oh, that's right. And I minored in economics. Wow, that sucks. Was it fun? A lot of numbers. No, it was not fun. Where do you go to school? Gargolis? Please give it to me. I can't. It's got to be more creative. Please give it to me. Where did you go? Pace or something? Baruch in the city. Oh, Baruch.

1:18:43Joe Santagato:You're not even going to give me a satisfaction. I can't. Gargolis? Be more obvious, dude. Gargolis. You went to Baruch? Let's just try that one more time. Sure.

1:19:03Oh, he's gone Yeah, no, there he goes It's over now No, it's fair Where did you go to school? Suck on these? Suck on my balls? University?

1:19:16What did you say? Gargle on these? Gargleies

1:19:20Joe Santagato:Gargleies Oh So

1:19:25Joe Santagato:Were you You went to drag them? Drag them? Yeah. What's drag them? Drag them across your nuts.

1:19:41You mean drag your nuts across the face? Drag them across your nuts. Does that mean you're dragging your balls across his balls? Where do I fit into all this? What's going on, dude? You mean drag them across your nuts.

1:20:02Oh, my God. It's like an alien. It's like an alien that just learned how to make that joke. Yeah, right? That was like if you act like an AI to make a joke like that. Drag them across their balls and mine. Are you crying? Oh, my God. Your face is wet.

1:20:19Joe Santagato:That's so fucking stupid. In that moment, I was the dumbest person in the room. We're back. God that was fucking funny You mean drag him across your fucking nuts Oh jeez Dragging nuts across nuts Is fucking hysterical That's insane

1:20:46Joe Santagato:That's so fucking funny Oh man God almighty that's my favorite part of this episode You can cut everything else out Well there you have it folks That's our episode for this week. Frank, where can they find you and your nuts? Come on. Let's be mature. Let's be mature here, okay? Back to being the three smartest people in the room. The Frank Alvarez all over social media. And patreon.com slash the basement yard. Okay. Where can they find you, Ant? You can find me on Ant Prisco on Instagram. Ant Pri? Are you on Stuffies?

1:21:24Joe Santagato:what's what's stuffed these stuffed these nuts in your fucking mouth something's nuts in your nutsack you're you would be you would be the gay one with my nuts in your mouth um you guys can go follow me at joe sanagato go follow the show at the basement yard and that is all god that's so funny see you next time

1:21:54Joe Santagato:Have you heard that McDonald's spicy chicken McNuggets made with spicy tempura and a blend of aged cayenne are back? Remember to grab a few extra napkins. For a limited time at participating McDonald's.