#545 - Doctor Mike's Hardest Challenge Yet!

8:36Joe Santagato:I was like, what? So that was the God complex. I got it was right. I got fucking heated. And Becca, like my wife had to like put her hands on me. She's like, you need to chill. Wow.

8:46Frank Alvarez:Okay. Frankie left a bad Yelp review after that.

8:49Joe Santagato:Oh, yeah. He's big on Yelp. I'm not big on Yelp. I've never Yelp. I've never Yelp. But so we, in preparation for today's episode, wrote down a couple questions that we need help with. Okay. Personally. Well, no, no, no. Not personally. No, no, no. I mean, maybe one or two of them might be personal for me. I cannot confirm that all of them will be personal for any of us. Maybe Ant.

9:09Frank Alvarez:I see at least seven on there that are specifically personal to me.

9:13Joe Santagato:So when we get to them. I don't like that. So I guess we can kind of start with the top one you brought up in one of your videos. Someone in this room has incredibly wet ears. No, that's not how you say it. Wet. Soaking wet. Wet. That's it. Just say a regular wet. Wet. All right, you're trying to mute it now. Now you're showing off. You said regular wet. Say it how you would normally say it. I have wet ears. Yeah, that's crazy. What is this? That's interesting. Yeah, there's something going on there. I do.

9:43Frank Alvarez:medically what the hell is that yeah why would he have why would he have wet ears and like could he like do something to help also they're wet right now like a lot right now with these on and this hat eventually they'll be they'll be soaking well that's sweat no no inside you know okay well like why would he have wet ears i'm worried about infection yeah okay yeah because that wet can be discharge. Ooh.

10:08Joe Santagato:That's a bad one. That's concerning. Gross word. Also, genetically, his earwax might be thinner. Is that a thing? Oh, you're talking shit about your dad, too. Yeah. Your dad is thin earwax. My dad's ears suck, too. Thin earwax. Your dad's got thin ears, dude. So, like, wait. Hold on. Now, this is a serious question, too. There's different textures to earwax. Some people have thicker ones? Some people have drier, thicker. Some people have wetter. Be honest. Thinner. You like those videos of people like getting them out of their ears? I hate it. What? Hate. You hate getting the airwax out? Yes. Why?

10:43I love them. Do you know how many people come to me with busted tympanic membranes because they were digging around in their ears after watching a video?

10:50Frank Alvarez:We're going to back that up real quick. What's the definition of that? What's a tympani? Eardrum.

10:57Joe Santagato:Okay. You could have used the layman's term. Well, I had to flex. Where is the eardrum?

11:01Frank Alvarez:Because I have one of those things. Yeah, don't look for it.

11:04Joe Santagato:So it's next to the hammer and the – Oh, the stapes. You're giving me all the – I got stapes, baby. No, there's like the cochlear thing in there, right? Yeah, the cochlear nerve. I fucking know shit, bro. Wait. This is really interesting because everyone loves digging in their ears with Q-tips, and that is the bane of every ENT doctor's world and family medicine. Because they create so much irritation inside their ears, they get something known as otitis externa. Oh, God. Sounds like a wrestler. Outer ear infection. That's all it is. Okay. We like creating fancy terms for simple problems. Don't, like, young kids do that, too.

11:42Joe Santagato:Can't they – stop that. Can't you get, like, a surgery to prevent, like, chronic ear infections or something like that? No, what they do is they put tubes in in order to decrease that pressure from people who get recurrent infections. Yeah. For kids, usually. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:54Frank Alvarez:So how am I supposed to clean my ears? You don't, dude. Self-clean. Let them cure themselves. Self-clean? Yeah. If you get a buildup of ear wax and you're like, oh, now I can't hear because I have a buildup of ear wax, There's drops that melt the earwax, make it more wet And it cleans itself and it has a good shape Actually, the ear canal is shaped such That it's supposed to make the earwax naturally come out And you can just wipe the outside Which is what's happening

12:15Joe Santagato:Bro, I'll be hanging out sometimes And I'll just go like that and fucking earwax will fall out

12:19Frank Alvarez:If the Q-tips aren't supposed to be in there Why does it feel so good when you put them in your ear?

12:24Joe Santagato:Ooh, is there like a G-spot in your ear? I've never heard it asked that way what happens when you use q-tips i don't use q-tips i am an anti-q-tipper yeah i haven't

12:36Frank Alvarez:i haven't used a q-tip in a while the q-tip is meant for external cleaning purposes like the right here yeah okay so don't put it inside your ear and what happens is if you have already irritated skin inside the ear canal and then you're rubbing it just like when you have an itchy spot from like eczema it's itchy it feels good to scratch it but then you're damaging your skin so same principle just inside your ear i'll tell you what there was a time where i've probably done irreversible damage to my ear because i'm thinking that if i got this thing like i've heard that you don't use a q-tip you're pushing the earwax in and that's true too but so i'm like okay that's the only issue with q-tips because i don't know so you were scooping so i was scooping oh that's dangerous yeah it's bad well yeah because you're hitting the skin inside there yeah again And earwax is also protective.

13:24It prevents the ear canal from drying out. It prevents bugs from wanting to hang out there. It catches debris. Yo, I know.

13:33Frank Alvarez:How often does that happen? That's a big thing. That happens.

13:35Joe Santagato:That shit happens. I know someone that they were on a canoe kayak situation down a river and a fucking moth flew in their ear. Oh. Is that something you see? I mean, not often.

13:46Frank Alvarez:Okay, good. But I did just have a pediatric ER doctor come on my show tell me about a situation where a child was eating a sandwich. and had some throat pain afterwards, and they thought, oh, it's a barbecue. Maybe there was a metal wire grill brush stuck in their throat. And they did see something on the imaging, but they couldn't quite see what it was. Any guesses? Spider.

14:06Joe Santagato:Ant. I don't know. Praying mantis.

14:10Frank Alvarez:Potato chip. That's your guess. Potato chip. They're spiky. They hurt sometimes. I don't know. The final letter of whatever it is that you're saying is always interesting. Chip. Chip.

14:20Joe Santagato:Chip. Chip. With potato chip. Cockroach leg. No! I mean leg. That's not that bad. Leg with the little spines? Oh, that's why I was hurting? I don't know what the medical term for the cockroach leg spine is.

14:33Frank Alvarez:Yeah, it's like one of those, you know what I mean? They're barbed. Barbed. Yeah, barbed. Barbed.

14:37Joe Santagato:I told you, dude. I told you I'm the smart one here. It's a cockroach leg. Well, you grew up in the same, well, you grew up in New York. You're around our age. You're a couple years older, which means you're basically aging to us. Did you ever hear the myth of the person that got like cockroach eggs in their tongue or something like that? Do you remember that? I remember it was like one of those like 90s myths that like like Marilyn Manson taking, you know, the ribs out or something like that. But it was like the story was like someone licked an envelope that had a cockroach egg on it and it got into like the crease of their tongue.

15:09Joe Santagato:And then they had like tongue pain and they cut it open and fucking like cockroach eggs fell out and shit like that. Oh, my God. It sounds like a Ripley's Believe It or Not. It does. It was. It was. It was. And it was hosted by Dean Cain. and he's never not been anything but incredibly accurate about everything. No idea who that is. Now I'm just terrified. Because this thing, can I, can I, I'm just, I just irritated my ear, but it's fine.

15:31Frank Alvarez:I can. Well, I'm hoping you solved it. Like your body's immune system solved it and the repair mechanism solved it. Well, I haven't, I also didn't know that you just don't clean out your ears. You're not supposed to do that. Self-cleaning. Self-cleaning. Ears and vaginas.

15:45Joe Santagato:Two miracles of life. No, no, self-cleaning. parts of the body. And a dog's mouth? No, you should brush that.

15:54Frank Alvarez:I'm not trying to do this to Frank in front of guests, obviously, but the cockroach egg case hatching on the tongue, a persistent urban legend, and a hoax.

16:02Joe Santagato:I said it was a popular rumor. I didn't say it was real. You tried to get me into that. No, I tried to ask if you've ever heard of something like that. How much did RFK pay you to say that? You're trying to get me. He just paid me nothing, trust me. He does love home hook, though, So we don't know. To be fair, whole milk is delicious. As long as you don't go raw, we're okay. In a hot tub with Kid Rock, though, I don't know any drink that would be good enough to have that.

16:27Frank Alvarez:Are you a big fan of the raw milk content? I am not. I'm the enemy of raw milk. No, I'd be like— You're an anti-milker. Yeah. Anti-raw-milker. An anti-raw-milker. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, that is— I think of myself less as an anti-raw-milker and more of an anti-get parasite bacteria in your colon-er. Oh, we're on the same page. Yeah, I feel like we're on the same team there.

16:50Joe Santagato:I'd like to have that out of my colon as well. Well, what? I'm not even going to talk about your colon. Can you tee up the next question for us, please, sir?

16:59Frank Alvarez:Which, anything specific from your life? See, stop doing this. Frankie S here.

17:04Joe Santagato:I didn't ask anything. We were asked to provide questions, and I provided a ton. Okay, so does eating one hot dog really take 10 minutes away from your life?

17:11Frank Alvarez:It doesn't apply to you at all.

17:12Joe Santagato:That one is me. That one is 100 % me, yeah. 10 minutes. Well, they said, I mean, like, yeah, how do you measure? The medical at large. Big doctor. Big doctor. Yeah. These population studies cannot be translated into statistics that simplistically. So when we say like, oh, in general, nuts are healthy to eat. Yes, people love nuts. People should enjoy nuts. But the nut is not going to make you live eight years longer. Yeah. so these are epidemiological studies that have been oversimplified so no a hot dog does not

17:49Frank Alvarez:shorten your life by 10 minutes thank god but it but it could be a factor in it could but it's an ultra processed meat which you should limit in your diet well what if you get like good deli hot

18:00Joe Santagato:dogs still ultra process july what about yeah like what if it's like does the does the having it with a beer or seven beers offset the damage of the hot dog you sound like i had this this is sick i had a doctor come on my show and tell me that a healthy diet can remove the negative impacts of smoking and he's like if you smoke you can live longer he said that on my show to my face like yo if you just you ever want to just rip heaters just fucking bang like i want to hit my

18:27Frank Alvarez:head against okay yeah i mean that's why i couldn't believe you when you're watching the when i'm watching this around it i'm like dude if this is me yeah the smoking thing got me like hard it hit me in the heart i'm like you're you operated on people's hearts and you think smoking yeah and And he's just saying like if you eat healthy, but you just. Yeah. And he said the longest living people in the world smoke. So we should also. And I'm like, bro. What is with that? There's like old Italian women who live in the hills and they're like, oh, I'm 109 and I have wine every day. And I, you know. Well, yeah, she's the one that makes the video that goes viral.

18:58But her 99 friends that had the same lifestyle that didn't live long. No one's hearing their TikToks from the grave. The ones that died at 42. Yeah, exactly. That's why when like RFK goes, we got to make America healthy. get i'm like which time frame do you want to go back to because in the 1900s we lived to age 30

19:16Frank Alvarez:so what are you looking for ancestors lived and i'm like they were five two toe stub meant death yeah he would visit you in that outfit to help your toe stub yeah diarrhea if you could die from diarrhea i'd be dead a hundred million times worldwide people are still dying of diarrhea yeah

19:33Joe Santagato:it's a problem elsewhere we know this obviously as a medical professional i am now i'm gonna hit you No, like, obviously we're big fans of hot dogs here. And we like to indulge every now and every day. I'm not hyper-optimist. Enjoy a hot dog. How much do you like hot dogs? I love hot dogs. Fuck yeah, dude. Sauerkraut, mustard. Oh, you lost me. He hates mustard. I hate mustard. Love sauerkraut. Porky. Love sauerkraut. Just, it tastes like just garbage to me.

20:01Frank Alvarez:He had an experience when he was younger, and I think that, like, it just carried. Oh, yeah. It shaped the rest of my life. What was the experience? I was like. feel free to say pass oh no no i'm gonna tell you if you ask me for a story this could be

20:14Joe Santagato:wildly traumatic if you're asking for a story you're getting it my father died in a mustard i was like young i was like five or six they cut open his tongue and there was mustard seeds everywhere yes like when you're a kid when like you want you need to know exactly what you're eating all the time yeah i was like five or six and someone gave me a bologna sandwich and i fucking love bologna oh okay and i didn't realize that on the bologna sandwich was mustard so when i bit into it it's the shock it was so shocking to me and then since then i've not had it i mean we could pull back the fourth wall a little bit i've had mustard recently and like in the near like recent few like the recent future the recent past the one that's coming soon the recent past and it's just like all right but like yellow mustard i can't even i can't even stomach it So golden honey.

21:03Joe Santagato:What's I've had like like like you wouldn't give a Wendy's nugget in a honey. No, no, no Honey mustard's crazy that you don't like no, I can't honey mustard candy.

21:12Frank Alvarez:Yeah, but what's in it though? Honey and mustard well exactly in the Wendy's one that's question. Yeah Gwar gum they go like never frozen meat, but you don't know what's in a honey I forgot what it was. I think it was like a Starbucks drink or something one time and they like put out this unicorn frappe or something like that. And literally one of the ingredients was pink. Yeah. And I was like, how is that legal to say just pink?

21:40Joe Santagato:Pink.

21:41Frank Alvarez:I know it's pink.

21:42Joe Santagato:Yeah. Well, we just wanted to make sure we knew where you stood on hot dogs. I love hot dogs. How often, how many a year would you say on average you have? And be fucking honest, Doc. Cursing at the dog. I'm sorry. Sorry, Doc. I'll have 20 a year.

21:58Frank Alvarez:Dude, that's a good number 20 a year? Hot dogs? God damn it Only because When I do indulge instead of hot dog I do three You have to If you're at the barbecue And people are like, I'm taking orders Hot dogs, hamburgers You just go three dogs? Pigs in a blanket, dog We're talking about hundreds now This is crazy I'm already at 20 in the hole The big places where I have them are at sporting events Right. Because I know Madison Square Garden, as you experts will know. Right, right. They have fancy foods now. Yeah, they do. You can get like a filet of fish and sushi and weird stuff. So when I go to a sports game, I get a hot dog.

22:42Okay. That's how I am. And not per se healthy food, but also. I'm at the game. What in Rome? Life is not healthy. Right.

22:48Joe Santagato:That's right. No one gets out alive. All the good sword tongue quotes you got. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. No one gets out alive. No one gets out alive. It's true. Only two things in life are guaranteed. Death, taxes.

22:59Frank Alvarez:Well, some people don't pay taxes. Dad, looking at you. Dad, are you there? Answer me, Dad.

23:09Frank Alvarez:But when you're at a barbecue, there's hamburgers and hot dogs. What's the order? Do you go one and one? I try and pick. Like I'll go either team hot dog or team cheeseburger.

23:20Joe Santagato:Does it depend on who's making them? No. I don't discriminate. A hot dog is a hot dog. Okay, I can't believe I'm saying this on camera. I've never had a bad hot dog. Yo, me neither. I mean, it's a hard one to mess up. You can mess it up. You ever had a Colombian hot dog? Actually, you know what? I have had a bad hot dog. Now that I think about it. Why? Who made that? Bro, my dad, when I was like a teenager. Your dad made it? Okay. No. When I was like a teenager, my dad was like, oh, we're going to a Colombian burger joint. And I don't know if you've ever gone to like the Jackson Heights area of Queens.

23:52Joe Santagato:It's like Little Columbia. Okay. and they gave me a hamburger, a cheeseburger and a hot dog that had like, I couldn't even tell you what was on it. It was like. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons, not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7up, flip the sip.

24:51Joe Santagato:What's our next question before we keep going down the hot dog? I have to say, the worst hot dog I ever had, now that I think about it, is in Russian culture. I came to America when I was six. My parents would make me a hot dog, cheap food, protein. It would be called sasiska. Sasiska.

25:07Frank Alvarez:Sasiska. Sasiska. Sasiska. She would boil it. Oh, but a boiled hot dog is good. Oh, you got to grill those. It just wasn't great. My dad would microwave them. And put it on like eggs. Like eggs and hot dogs. Eggs and hot dogs. That's what I would have as my immigrant meal.

25:25Joe Santagato:That's what I used to have as a young lad too. What's your background? My father's Colombian. My mom is Greek and Egyptian. Okay. But my mom didn't like that. Which culture you think led that hot dog egg experiment? The father. Let's make that abundantly clear. My mom was trying to eat healthy and had fruit and stuff in the house. Wow, chips. You remember those chips? No. Do you remember Wow chips? Are those like healthy chips? They were like healthy corn chips, but they had something in them that made people shit their pants. I don't know if my mom shit her pants, but my dad was the one that would be like, you know, for breakfast, here's a fucking lollipop and eggs and hot dogs.

26:05Joe Santagato:Nice. Not a healthy breakfast right there. Good times. Well, based on the new food pyramid or upside down food pyramid, that's right. Yes, yes, yes.

26:12Frank Alvarez:My my my fiance has a master's in public health, so I've gotten the whole the food pyramid is definitely a sore spot. Yeah. In what way? What she her most? Well, she's like just very she's like, this is completely insane. Like everything that they're doing, like everything's upside down or whatever. But or like there should be like more veggies or something in there. I forget the exact. Well, all those things are right. but the wildest thing is they're attacking the food pyramid that we haven't used in like 20 years yeah can you imagine if i go and i start fact checking from when they were plague doctors and being like i can't believe doctors did this stupid yeah well yeah they didn't know they didn't have microscopes yeah and also that was another thing too i feel like the food pyramid was just like something that was on the wall in one room but no one talked about it yeah i mean we talked about it was 20 years ago so we learned we got better and then they go remember that thing they did yeah 20 years ago we don't do that anymore yeah we learned from it we got better so what about the uh the plate yeah the healthy plate the healthy yeah that was the replacement for the food pyramid right and it was a good plate yeah fruits vegetables beans that's an easier way to kind of figure out like how you're supposed to eat but there were no hot dogs on this

27:25Joe Santagato:plate there was definitely not a hot unfortunately there were no hot dog i mean can you imagine the protein i'm sure if you have enough of them i mean it's ultra processed meat and ultra processed meat, if you consume enough of it, it does raise your risk of certain conditions. I just, I want to say you're throwing around the ultra-process like it's a bad thing. Oh, it is. I know. Well, for your colon. Listen, man. My colonel didn't pass, my friend. That ship has sailed. Yeah, that ship has sailed.

27:50Frank Alvarez:Okay. What do we got next, Dan? Considering that you were so curious about these things, would you like to go to male nipples or piss? What would you like to do?

27:57Joe Santagato:Can you stop this? Just give us a question.

28:00Frank Alvarez:Okay. Not me, Frankie. No. I often hold my pee to the point my stomach hurts. Why does it make my stomach hurt?

28:06Joe Santagato:Okay, that was me. You're using I. You can't hide. That's fair. That is fair. Why do you do that? Why do you hold it? I'm on a long car ride.

28:14Frank Alvarez:Oh, I thought you were doing like a fun game.

28:16Joe Santagato:I mean, sometimes I like to, I've said this before, sometimes I like to like wait until like I'm about to piss to go pee, which I've been told is probably a bad thing to do.

28:26Frank Alvarez:I feel like you can feel that.

28:29Joe Santagato:Like you can feel that's bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't. What was even the question? I don't know. What was the question? Why am I holding my... So if someone were to hold in their piss, why does their stomach start to hurt? Related nerves in the same area. But really, it's lower abdominal suprapubic discomfort that you're having. Don't talk about my... Don't talk about my... Supra is crazy. Supra. Supra. About. Supra. Supra. You don't have a suprapubic area. I'm talking about my super pubes.

29:05Frank Alvarez:You don't know about my pubes. Super's nuts. Let's go regular. Average pubic.

29:11Joe Santagato:So it's just like discomfort in the area is going to affect everything. Yeah, and the longer urine sits in the bladder, the more static it is, meaning it's not moving around. The more likely it is to develop a stone, the more likely it is to develop an infection. So you want to keep things moving.

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31:51Joe Santagato:now back to the show i think there was another urine related question in there oh you're in trouble man yeah i think well i think if i remember i'll ask it um because this one is yours i'm gonna i'm gonna be honest with you most of them are mine yeah most of them are mine um but like we've seen examples of people drinking urine

32:14Frank Alvarez:you have like bear grills he likes to drink it yeah i don't know why out of necessity yeah it's not and apparently it's he's got a lot wait it doesn't no it doesn't hydrate you at all no oh well that completely dehydrates you worse that completely ruins my question because it's all

32:28Joe Santagato:the toxins that you're getting out of your body that you're readjusting no toxins thank you thank

32:32Frank Alvarez:god i mean the general concept right nope it's waste but not toxins so what is the argument he's saying it does yeah it just does it and you're saying it dehydrates you it's not dehydrates you It does not hydrate you. It's not a replacement for drinking water. And then there's people that think like it gives them some sort of nutrient that they're missing. They're like, oh, it has electrolytes. I'm like, so do food.

32:56Joe Santagato:Yeah. So do, if you really love electrolytes, take the supplement. Yeah. You don't need to drink the urine. Look in the camera and tell Bear Grylls he's an idiot. I did a whole reaction video to his thing, calling him out, so I feel bad. And he does things that I can never do, so I can't call him an idiot. Of course. Probably. Like drink his piss. And him and my dog share the same name.

33:17Frank Alvarez:You want to hear something crazy? His name's not Bear. No way. No, duh. It's like Arnold. Look up Bear Girl's name.

33:23Joe Santagato:To be fair, if my name was Arnold, I'm changing it to Bear.

33:26Frank Alvarez:I mean, if you're a guy that goes out and lives with bears, I think you can call yourself Bear. I don't think he lives with bears.

33:31Joe Santagato:Well, you know, he's around.

33:32Frank Alvarez:He avoids them. He does wild stuff.

33:33Joe Santagato:He does do crazy stuff. I can't sit here. I'm watching through Alone. Have you ever seen that show? Yes. It's a good show. I think, didn't we react to that too? Man, we do a lot of reactions. We do. We do it at all. Naked and afraid alone. Naked and afraid is crazy. Yeah, that's weird. I need pants. I don't know how people do that because I would be afraid of being naked and then afraid of, yeah. Yeah, the bugs. Forget the bugs. That's why people say it's natural. Like, bugs are natural. They'll eat your super pubic area. Thank you so much. I appreciate you referencing my super pubic. His name was Edward.

34:05Joe Santagato:Edward was.

34:05Frank Alvarez:I said was. I didn't mean that. Yeah, yeah. He's alive. He changed it. Yeah, that's true. Did he illegally change it? Edward Michael. Edward Michael grills. Wait, is Guy Fieri's real name Guy? I actually think so. I think that is a real name. That's cool. Imagine if it was Edward. Imagine just getting a baby and being like. I mean, I've delivered babies. If I walked in, I'd say. You delivered babies? Yeah. Dude, that's crazy. And I bring the baby and I say, what's the baby's name? They go, Bear. I go, Question? No, you'd be like, this is pretty sick.

34:32Joe Santagato:What's the coolest baby name that you've helped deliver? I don't know. They're not cool. Come on. They're standard. They're standard. They're names. You hear them, you forget them. Frank, Mike, Joe. And that's patient privacy. I can't tell you that.

34:42Frank Alvarez:I mean, you want to break HIPAA right now? Yeah.

34:45Joe Santagato:You got me, honestly. Yeah, you got me. I don't want to get budgeted. Wait, so you've delivered babies as well. Yeah, I think I delivered 38 babies. 38? Because we had to keep a log during residency. Do you think, have any of those babies gotten old to the point where they're just like, you delivered me. I love the babies. Yeah, they're my patients, though. Family medicine, baby. It's beautiful. Oh, yeah, that's right. Deliver the baby. Take care of the baby. Take care of the grandparents of the baby. Everybody. That is such an insane thing. It's an amazing job. That's such a crazy... And they're just like, yo.

35:10And one of the lowest paying specialties, which we should change.

35:12Joe Santagato:Yeah, what the fuck, doctors? It's the doctors that are withholding it. It's the hospitals. That's right. It's the privately owned hospitals that are to blame.

35:22Frank Alvarez:Let's blame someone right now. Bear Grylls is who it is. Bear Grylls is to blame.

35:27Joe Santagato:It's Bear Grylls. My question was going to be, and I guess you're not going to be able to answer this because you've already debunked that urine is good to drink. I was going to ask that if you were to let it. Can I throw something in real quick? Of course. A famous celebrity the other day messaged me asking me if she should drink her own urine because her friend was doing it. Can I blow up her spot?

35:49Frank Alvarez:I would love to break HIPAA right now. Well, no, it wasn't.

35:52Joe Santagato:It wasn't an official patient consultation. I love that. I mean, I don't want you to call them out. It's an exclusive. First time saying this on air. Mariah Carey. Kristen Bell, I can't believe. Oh, you really consider drinking urine?

36:06Frank Alvarez:That is insane. Can't drink. Can't drink. You said no. I said no. I did it respectfully, of course. But then it turned out one of her castmates on her show was actually tricking her into thinking she was drinking urine by creating drinks that look like urine. So much so that she reached out to me. That's a great prank. That's a really good prank that one of us is going to try. Yeah, very close. Well, it got her so much that she's like, let me ask this doctor I know on social media.

36:38Joe Santagato:Honestly, that's a level of pranking that, like, it just gets into their psyche, and they're just like, I kind of need to do their work on this. Well, it puts life into perspective for me because she can reach out at her disposal, Ivy League physicians, all these people that run departments. She goes, no, let me ask the YouTube dude. I mean, that's nice. So, like, that's where I fall in. You're probably more trusted than most, like, medical professionals. I would hope so.

37:00Frank Alvarez:You have the most – I mean, I don't know. But I feel like the access that you have through social media is like – that's what makes that true, I think. Yeah. People are like, I'm going to ask. Well, I also aim to be as transparent as possible so people know why I'm recommending things. Yeah. As opposed to just being like the doctor you had that was like, screw you. Sorry, screw you. That was me.

37:20Joe Santagato:Yeah, I was getting screwed by the doctor. Yeah. Well, that's breaking HIPAA for sure.

37:26Frank Alvarez:Can't have that. Now I know where the infection came from. um but also i just want to like just give you like the like you still work in a hospital oh yeah half the week is hospital life which is training residents so when they see patients they need to present the patient to me if they need help with the procedure it's complicated i'll go in with them and then i also see my own patient and any of your patients have ever been like wait a second all the time really yeah it happens now more than ever because youtube is so prevalent yeah yeah

37:58Joe Santagato:Yeah. But it's only been a positive, largely. That's good. Yeah. I went to the hospital once, and it was that same hospital visit. And they said, like, listen, we need to treat you for possible sepsis. We need you to undress. And I was - This is multi - You've been septic multiple times? My guy. What are you doing? That's why I'm talking hot dogs don't mean a thing to me, baby. You've been septic multiple times. Possible. Are you immunocompromised? Oh, yeah. Oh.

38:29Joe Santagato:I got it all. No, I don't. Not at all. He's going for the record. But, like, they said, like, we need to, you need to, like, get in the gown, the robe. And I was in such bad situation that they were like, do you want help getting undressed? And I was like, sure. And they got me in the robe, and the guy goes, by the way, huge fan. And then he walked out the room. I was like, yo, this guy just saw my infected wiener, like, body. Don't do that. No, I'm using it. Wiener's not infected. I mean, you were leading us right there. I mean, I feel like me as an infected individual. That's what I meant to say.

39:04Joe Santagato:Infected weiner sounds different. I mean, it's a big fan at weird times. I've gotten complimented before on my content at the urinal. That's a crazy place. If anything that's happened to me before. I was going to say, if anything, that's normal.

39:15Frank Alvarez:Or a guy being like, I like your stuff.

39:18Joe Santagato:I like your work.

39:19Frank Alvarez:A ton of followers, huh? A doctor saw my penis recently. But that didn't happen to me Yeah So he wasn't like Saw my penis was like Big fan Because that would have Morrified me I'd be like alright Yeah It's a pre-penis conversation Feel free to pass Yeah What was the feedback? Bad penis

39:40Joe Santagato:He said bad penis No He looked at me and he went

39:43Frank Alvarez:He went Oh my god And then he just No I went to the dermatologist And he just got Like a quick Like a Okay Yeah And he said everything was all good But I don't know what he was talking about Sick Was he saying about the news cycle? Yeah, yeah Everything's all good out there In here though, kind of rough Yeah, I don't know how it was It also wasn't my best It wasn't a good time I wasn't expecting it to happen Bad dick day is what he's referencing It's a doctor's office, it's cold The lights, you know The lights, I don't know how that plays a factor Whatever you need to say

40:24Joe Santagato:I'm glad someone is calling him out on his bullshit I appreciate it Normally it's just me having to call him out on his nonsense I try not to use words like good or bad I try and describe what I'm looking at Great, awesome No, those are also not great words Shitty

40:39Frank Alvarez:Everything looks normal Everything looks normal But is it normal subjective?

40:45Joe Santagato:It's actually objective Oh, in the medical sense Well, that's what I'm here for Grammar So we have the subjective portion of the exam Which is you tell me everything that's going on So you telling me it's normal is subjective Me looking at it and writing that it's normal That's objective

41:05Frank Alvarez:Don't cut him off I don't know what's going on Yes, yes, yes, yes Absolutely No, but I get what you're saying

41:14Joe Santagato:Normal in the sense of what the body should be doing in this situation is normal Sure Don't shirt me You got nothing Two thumbs up.

41:24Frank Alvarez:You got it, Frankie. You walked us there. What else we got over there? I just want to make a note here that the Bear Grylls drinking, like Frankie Curious About Drinking His Own Pea is not on here on the official list. Oh, you added that. That was in his heart. Yeah, that was.

41:36Joe Santagato:No, I did send that over. It must have been scrubbed. Oh, then maybe I deleted that question. It got scrubbed. It got scrubbed because what I was going to ask is if it's sterile and you can drink it, in theory, can you age it like wine and it would be tastier? Oh.

41:49Frank Alvarez:That sounds so horrific.

41:51Joe Santagato:I wouldn't do it. I'm just asking. I would put that beneath raw milk. Aged urine. Oh, that's a good question. So are you more likely to drink raw milk or 10-day-old piss? I don't want to pass. Do you ever think you'd be sitting in this room right here answering these questions when you went through medical school?

42:10Frank Alvarez:We're going to get a long email of cuts later. Hey, guys, remember that hype? Piss or raw milk? The raw milk thing I think is so interesting. Why do you think they're almost allowed to sell it, I guess? They're not in some places. But then they say it's for animal consumption and not for humans, and they bypass the rules. Much in the way that they sell peptides these days. I'm sure you guys have heard of peptides. Yeah, of course. They're not really allowed to sell peptides, but they sell them for research purposes only. So it's just these loopholes.

42:47Joe Santagato:It's a loophole. I think Isn't like women's breast milk the same way? Like What?

43:00Frank Alvarez:I'm cutting that out of the episode And just replaying it a thousand times

43:05Joe Santagato:I heard that it's like Legally you can't sell Women's breast milk But like There's a market for them

43:14Frank Alvarez:Talk day alert for Dr. Mike There's a market for them I sat surrounded by 20 anti-vaxxers, and it wasn't as tough as this conversation.

43:26Frank Alvarez:It's getting hot. I take that off. It's getting hot. Hey, look at you. You're dressed BDSM. You're wearing three dresses. Take your leather skirt off your neck. I think you'll cool off. These are the deleted scenes from the Kid Rock RFK video.

43:41Joe Santagato:Oh, my God. We just talked about that. That was crazy. First of all, cold plunging jeans. Come on.

43:46Frank Alvarez:yeah that is that is something i guess something going on with his legs like you have scarred up

43:51Joe Santagato:my legs i do my legs are mostly scars bisepsis no no no that was elsewhere baby no no i i one time on an episode said that like i had to get my leg like shaved or or something and i saw like i was like oh my god i have so many scars on my leg from what just like like hitting it against you You know, like sports, hitting it against something, and it just heals. You did a kickboxing thing? I never did kickboxing, believe it or not. This is not even true. So I don't even know. What sport? Soccer? I play football. I play baseball. You keep saying sports that don't require hitting your legs, so I'm curious.

44:29Football. It's untrue. Football, football, football.

44:30Joe Santagato:Get this started because he said it when he was younger. Were you a kicker? Football, no. But when you get turf burn, that can leave scarring. Your legs aren't mostly scars.

44:40Frank Alvarez:What are you justifying?

44:41Joe Santagato:I am referencing, I one time had my knee got cut open by an axe. That happened. That left scars. I got knee surgery. No, that was another one. Yeah. I don't like how this episode is being targeted at me, I just got to say.

44:55Frank Alvarez:You're pulling the reins here, buddy. You got any other questions that feel like they're not from Frank? I know that answer is no, but feel like they're not from Frank. Yeah, sure. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7-Up Flip the sip What is more useless An appendix or male nipples?

45:42Frank Alvarez:And if you suck male nipples long enough Will they lactate?

45:45Joe Santagato:Okay I did write the first half of the question I don't know where that second half came from

45:50Frank Alvarez:Yeah Well we were on breast milk The appendix I'm glad that's where you went first I'm trying to save this episode You're warming me up to it We'll get to the other stuff first

46:04Joe Santagato:You gotta foreplay the nipples a little bit.

46:06Frank Alvarez:The appendix though, we can pull that right out. The gallbladder, I think there's another one you can just pull out, we're good. Yeah, they have utility, but you can live without. You can live with one kidney. Right. But you prefer to have two. It's nice to have a backup. But an appendix. An appendix. What does it actually do? Yeah. It functions as part of your immune system when you're young. It also is a home for the microbiome, some of the bacteria that naturally colonize your intestine. So it does have some uses, but you can't live without it.

46:38Joe Santagato:So like at a certain point, you said when you were young. So at a certain point, does it kind of like stop pulling its own weight? It's not a life-sustaining organ. Retired. Can't live without, I guess you could live without both kidneys because you get dialysis. Can't live without a full liver. Can't live without a full heart. Can't live without a brain. I'm curious. You have to answer when I count to three. Oh, man. most important organ in the body that you believe one two three heart skin

47:08or brain i was thinking one of you would say heart one of you would say brain i would say that's beautiful but you went skin well you can't what's the biggest organ that question no no i

47:19Joe Santagato:mean like everything is held together by your skin it's probably held together by your fascia but Oh, fascia. Yeah. The organ that is least talked about. What is the fascia? It's everywhere. It holds you together. Like if you've ever done a dissection in an anatomy lab, you'll see that there's a lot of weird connective tissue. Like what is that? That's fascia. Of the plantar variety. Of the full body variety. Plantar fascia.

47:46Frank Alvarez:Fasciitis.

47:47Joe Santagato:My actual answer was brain. Forget that I said skin. Okay. So why brain? Controls everything. Why heart? I mean, if it stops, we're done. But you can live with an artificial heart. You can't live with an artificial brain. How long can you live with an artificial heart? What is an artificial heart? This is you. I'm not helping this stuff. You're in the hot seat. I don't know. Not a full life. We're getting there. Longer than you can without an artificial. You can't live without an artificial brain for a second. Well, if you give someone. No, you can't. So I'm right? Yeah. What was it? Brain? I'm on a roll.

48:27Joe Santagato:I think brain is more important. You could have brain death and still have heart and lung function by having a ventilator keep you alive. However, if you lose a full brain, you lose the ability to even have the heart pump. I always remember the story, like learning about it in psychology of like Phineas Gage. Yeah, yeah. And I thought that was like crazy. Because you hear about like any sort of like trauma to the brain. You think, like, as a kid, it's just like, oh, it's instant. And this guy got a fucking, like, whole rod through his head and continued to live.

48:59Frank Alvarez:Do you think there's any part of the body, organ, or just whatever part that eventually we'll be born without? Like, we're just not using?

49:06Joe Santagato:Man, see, this is a great question. I'm not smart enough to answer that question.

49:11Frank Alvarez:Fair enough. We got him with one.

49:13Joe Santagato:I wrote that one. I wrote that one.

49:15Frank Alvarez:We got him with one. He's just not going to say something that he doesn't know for sure.

49:18Joe Santagato:No, of course. Well, this is why you're trusted is because in that situation, we would just say it. Something's going to happen with our mouths because our mouths are getting smaller. Is that true? Well, that's why everyone's molars are impacted now. What about like my pink? But I'm not a dentist, so I'm speaking outside of my mouth. What about my pinky toe? What about it? That's a good question. Balance point. Oh, your pinky toe though? Pinky and big toe. Yeah. But like mine is like sideways now. You ever saw Heartbreak Kid? I did see Heartbreak Kid. Remember he was telling her the lie about hanging out with a guy at golf, and he only had the outer toes?

49:52I don't remember that well. I like movies.

49:54Frank Alvarez:He only had the outside? Yeah, he's like, it allowed him to maintain the swing. Can we play the clip so I don't look like a thing? No, it's fine. No, finally, you look like an idiot for once.

50:04Joe Santagato:It was a good movie. Underrated. First movie I ever got kicked out of. What? Sepsis? Stop. Okay. No, Heartbreak Kid. I tried to go watch Heartbreak Kid with my high school girlfriend, and they were like, you're not watching this, and they kicked me out. Because? I was 13 when I came out. Oh, so you tried to sneak in? Oh, yeah. You ever sneak into a movie? You ever break the law, Doc? Did I ever sneak into a movie? Would you consider yourself a bad boy criminal? I've definitely been over the speed limit by a couple of miles an hour. Yeah. So I got to admit to that. I've seen the cars. I would, too, to be honest.

50:43did I ever sneak into a movie here I feel like I must have overstayed and watched two movies yeah that's a big one I did one of those things in fifth grade or something I don't think I even hit it it was just like middle of the day and they're like no one's here we don't care

50:56Joe Santagato:yeah exactly I'm gonna ask you a series of questions that's what a podcast is go ahead these are two different answers what's your favorite movie of all time and what's the best movie of all time my favorite movie of all time is not one people love That's okay. Mine too. Man on Fire. That's a good movie. Oh, okay. I think it's so underrated. Denzel. Oh, yeah. Dakota Fanning. A lot of celebrity appearances. Mark Anthony. Music is phenomenal. Story is great. I need to watch Man on Fire. Scott directed. I mean, it was good stuff. What was your answer? The Mask. You know that. I'm not a Jim Carrey fan.

51:36Joe Santagato:Uh-oh. Why? What happened? I don't know. You said that with like hate in your heart. No, no, no. When I came to America, he was really popular, and I was just like, ah, it was okay. Oh, okay. Bruce Almighty was okay. Liar Liar was kind of cool.

51:49Frank Alvarez:He loves The Mask, and I watched it within the last two years, and it sucks.

51:55Joe Santagato:It doesn't. It is so good. It doesn't hold up. It is so good. All right, now, but if you were in a barroom conversation with your buddies, what do you think would you argue is the best movie of all time? It's so hard to pick one. I have a list, but I find myself coming back to Good Will Hunting a lot. Really? I've just watched that recently again. So good. Like Shawshank. Shawshank. Good fellas. That level. Good fellas, I've re-watched a million times. Oh, yeah.

52:25Frank Alvarez:I'm like almost sick of it now. Yeah, but you know what's sick? If it's still on, I still like it. Hell, yeah. The hoof. The hoof. You cut the hoof.

52:34Joe Santagato:What about that movie? What about – I remember I had knee surgery, and I remember waking up, and it was like a party in there with, like, music and shit like that. You woke up during your surgery? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was – Did you leave a bad Yelp review for that one? Yeah. The attacks on me today – I'm just going to throw this out there – are out of control. No, no, no, no, no. I asked – I mean, I would if I wake up mid-surgery. I'm writing a negative review. I asked. It was high school sports. My knee was destroyed. Okay. And they said, like, hey, you can wake up during the surgery if you want.

53:04Joe Santagato:will give you an epidural. They offered that? Yeah. Oh, wow. And I was like, it was paid for by the freaking like public school system. So I was just like, fuck it, yeah, okay, whatever. So you woke up. Controlled, pain-free. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I woke up and there was like Coldplay was going and people were like. Yeah, Surgeon's Jam. What's your jam music? I know you're not a surgeon. I know you're not a surgeon. I'm saying like, what is your jam music? White noise. We play white noise so that other patients in the other rooms can't hear the conversation. I'm asking you what your jam music is, Doug.

53:33I don't know like top 50 stuff nothing nothing special Eminem. I just listened to kill shot this morning. I don't know why Kill shot. Yeah, that is Okay, you know, I just like that long ago. It's like five years ago was it My making it sound like kill shot came out in the 70s and I'm like I just love He loves first. I said Beatles you'd give me props, but I said you go that long ago.

54:00Frank Alvarez:Well, no, not not the length It was the song. It just feels so random. It's not like a top 50 song like that. He loves fucking Pitbull or Flowriders. He does. My dad likes Pitbull. Your dad likes Pitbull? Yeah. We're learning about this guy in real time. Wow.

54:15Joe Santagato:It sucks for your dad, by the way. It happens. Joey loves to point out people's lack of current music. Well, who do you guys like? Joey's going to listen to like – he'll be at the surging table. Kendrick, Drake, which team are you on? One, two, three. One, two, three. I was – I can't. One, two, three. One, two, three. I can't. I don't know enough about it. I will say, though, that, like, of the music I've heard, I like more Kendrick Lamar stuff than I do Drake stuff. Who's hotter, Matt Damon or Brad Pitt? One, two, three. Matt Damon.

54:45Frank Alvarez:What are we talking about? Hotter? You like Matt Damon over him? I don't know. I think Matt Damon. Brad Pitt, there's some stuff. I just watched a – he's hot. What are we going to do? I mean, I'm not excusing whatever – I don't even know what you're talking about. You know what's funny? You guys didn't even catch that I referenced Heartbreak Kid again.

55:01Joe Santagato:Why do you I haven't seen it Do you think we're Going to remember Heartbreak Kid That well I remember like Three scenes from it This whole episode Is Heartbreak Kid And sepsis over here I brought it up once

55:13Frank Alvarez:Oh man

55:14Joe Santagato:What else we got On the docket

55:15Frank Alvarez:I have a question With the craze of You know Like all these Medical shows Like which one Would you say Is the most accurate The pit Yeah The pit is so good 10 out of 10 I heard it's just Limited notes I have one note I wish they did Chest compressions A little better How are you supposed to do a proper chest compression? Push hard and fast and center the chest two inches deep, about 100 beats per minute. This guy knows.

55:37Joe Santagato:Stay alive. He knows two inches deep. Well, that means he does great CPR. You're a nation of lifesavers. At first, I was afraid. I was petrified. That's the office. I've reacted to that one, too. That's such a good clip.

55:53Frank Alvarez:Is it true that with chest compressions, there could be injuries with that? Yeah, but the person's dead. If you don't do it. No, no, no. They're dead. Oh, that's when they get it. You're doing chest compressions because the heart has stopped. So they're dead. Right. And you're squeezing the heart by pushing the chest two inches deep, which you were very accustomed to doing. Get him. This is crazy that you're dropping him out. You said it. He said it. You dapped him up. Yeah, he did.

56:20Joe Santagato:Not because of the truth. Because of the joke. The dap is the ultimate sign of, yes, it's two inches. You co-sign him right now. I forgot where I was going with this But the heart has already stopped Oh yeah the heart has stopped so you're squeezing the heart To circulate the blood that still has some residual oxygen In it and you're trying to buy time For EMT's to write Aren't there stories though of people doing Chest compressions and like cracking ribs Yeah yeah again if you're doing that In order to keep that person's brain Alive that's worth it You trade a rib for a brain You said brain's the most important

56:52Frank Alvarez:I would make that trade all right maryl manson relax

57:01Frank Alvarez:my dad uh was a fireman and i think he was like ems for a bit but there was one time he was on a a tennis court and a guy like had a heart attack or something and he was doing like either chest compressions while the person's alive like talking no no no they like went down and they were like, I forget the story, but he had to give him CPR. And he's like, and I was giving this guy CPR and then he just threw up in his mouth. Disgusting. That's a rough day at the office.

57:33Joe Santagato:That's a bad one. I don't know what has to happen for that. Well, you set it up saying he had a heart attack. Heart attack does not require CPR.

57:41Frank Alvarez:My dad could have just liked that.

57:43Joe Santagato:His dad's a character. Cardiac arrest. We had a lot of daddy issues on this side of the set. I don't know. This guy and I stuck the stone. oh, my dad's giving them CPR. Well, I've seen videos on social media. Someone's like a little bit out of it and they're giving them CPR. I'm like, no, no, no. If they're out of it, that means their heart is still beating because they're moving. Right. So you don't want to squeeze their chest when their heart's beating. What, um, I also like,

58:06Frank Alvarez:I don't know if this is true, but I like saw something online that now with like CPR, like the breathing into the mouth is not a thing. Yeah, so people used to not do CPR for people because they were worried, oh, I have to do mouth to mouth. So we said, forget mouth to mouth. The most important thing is pushing hard, fast, and center of the chest after you call for help. And that means either you're calling for help or you're saying, you pink, neon pink scrubs, you call 911 and you have to say yes and then start the chest compression. Right. We do the rescue breaths in situations when a person has been down for a long period of time.

58:38So if someone drowned, for example, and you find them, odds are they don't have residual oxygen in their blood, so you need to give them rescue breaths and then start pushing hard and fast. But if someone just collapsed, they still have oxygen in their blood vessels. So you can start pushing right there. One more time. Do that one more time. And this isn't even good form. Sorry. This is good form. You got to get on top. You want to lock down elbows. All right. This isn't a tricep extension. All right. So lock them out. Lock them out because you want to use your body weight over them. So lock them out like this.

59:09That's hyper.

59:12Joe Santagato:So like this. Can you do that again? That's a hyper extended. Yeah. What's going on? I have many skills you don't know about. Can you put your thumb to your... My wife can, but I get pretty close. Oh, be careful. All right, good. You're good.

59:24Frank Alvarez:I get pretty close. We're just checking you for... Why, is that a bad thing? Well, it could predispose you to having a condition. And with him... You know, I got it.

59:33Joe Santagato:I don't need this. I'm a hypochondriac. I can't. I'm going to start checking my thumb. It's going to be a long drive home for me. You're like, Dr. Mike said I have a condition, babe.

59:43Frank Alvarez:He referenced my sepsis a bunch of times. What else we got? How many times have you had sepsis? Just to clear that out. I've never been septic.

59:51Joe Santagato:Let me make that abundantly clear. I have been treated for I'm getting pretty close. Got it. Okay. We'll talk off air.

59:58Frank Alvarez:You ever been septic? What are the requirements? Basically. There's SERS criteria plus an infection source. Oh, so that's, yeah. You many times, then. Who the fuck are you? We can pop up the SERS criteria. Speaking of all Frankie's trips to the sepsis hospital here, Frankie, you're mentioning that hospitals have the same smell, you're saying?

1:00:23Joe Santagato:Yes. All hospitals I've been to smell exactly the same. And all casinos I've been to smell exactly the same. Are you sure it's just you're not smelling yourself? Because it seems like everywhere you go, it smells the same. Let me finish the question. That's a great. That's probably it. I need to ask the question. Every time I go here, it smells the same. Well, no. Oh, my question was going to be seriously, do hospitals, like, casinos put, like, stuff through the vents in order to, like, so it's, like, oxygenated in there. Oh, how, like, the fancy hotels have their own unique sense? Yes. Do hospitals have, like, a specific air filtration system that, like, makes it so it smells a certain way?

1:00:57We do have HEPA filters because for infection control purposes. We keep it low humidity specifically because it decreases infection. We don't pump scent, though. That's not a thing Would you say like Essentially smelling

1:01:12Frank Alvarez:Super clean air Yeah clean yeah Or I guess it's like A little Like a rubbery There's a little rub Yeah it smells like A lot of equipment It smells like the gloves Yeah What's with the paper Why the paper Paper is horrible On the On the On the table On the sheet Disposable But like can we It's just cause Do you want to sit In someone else's butt goop No no no Goop Goop Goop What goes on At your doctor's office You probably said it right there. I'm not saying it. I have no goop. Whatever. Let's make that abundantly clear. I agree. Excretions. But like I'm saying, let's upgrade this paper. To what?

1:01:46Frank Alvarez:To a comfort more. UV light. What about it? Are you just saying words now? Yes.

1:01:54Joe Santagato:Whole milk. A whole milk bath that you can sit in that's been homogenized. The, never mind.

1:02:02Frank Alvarez:I know the answer to that question. I was going to say there's like a little box.

1:02:05Joe Santagato:So basically what I'm smelling is just a combination of cleaner air. Yeah. Probably you're smelling a lot of disinfectants as well. We're cleaning things a lot. Yeah. That's definitely what it is. Have any hospitals or doctor's offices come up with disinfecting grenades? So they can just close the door to a room and they throw something in and then it goes off.

1:02:32Frank Alvarez:Frank, yes.

1:02:35Joe Santagato:I mean this might be a good business idea Alright if you're looking to invest Clean grenades But like made your apartment He definitely before this saw a TikTok video Where someone did that transition Where they throw the grenade and the room got clean He goes I want that grenade Well like if I were to take two Lysol cans And just stab them with knives And then throw them into a room You'd go to jail You'd go to jail I'm not saying like where there are patients I'm saying like, you know, like that room over there and I close it off. Would it do a good job cleaning that room? I can't answer that question.

1:03:08I've never ran that experiment.

1:03:10Frank Alvarez:So I have a question. So you know how restaurants have people show up from the health department and they like check to make sure everyone's doing the thing. Does that happen in hospitals? Absolutely. How often? Very often. And they do surprise visits. It's called Jaco. I say good. What's it? It stands for something. It's an acronym. So they show up and they like make sure that everything's like. Insane verification of processes. Like, where do you keep your sharps? How do you dispose of them? How often are they coming? Are you getting your expiration dates generally restocked? Like, everything is checked.

1:03:42Oh, you have a water bottle nursing station that's unopened? Why?

1:03:45Joe Santagato:Yeah. So they're really strict. People freak out when they come. And who sets those standards? This hospital accreditation system. And they – And it's based on if the hospital takes money from the federal government because then they have to follow the federal government's rules for hospital mandates.

1:04:00Frank Alvarez:Do you have, is it like typical for a hospital to like? Get shut down or something like that? Typical, no, but they definitely have to do make goods and then they come back and check and make sure that things are changed.

1:04:11Joe Santagato:So they'll give them like, this needs to be rectified in a week and then we'll be back.

1:04:15Frank Alvarez:I've like worked in a pizzeria before when the health department shows up. Pizzeria, hospital. Wait, wait. So, but that day, if they get a heads up like a half an hour, like they're going to be in a half an hour, then it's like all of a sudden we got to start wearing like gloves and hairnets or whatever, which you typically don't do. They surprise us. Okay. It's like random drug testing for athletes. Right. They just knock on your door. They just knock on your door. I mean, let. And then everyone freaks out. Jay goes here. Get the food out of here.

1:04:44Joe Santagato:Yeah. Well, that used to happen too when I worked at Target. Like, they, like, food, like, specific food inspectors would come because a lot of the Targets had, like, a Pizza Hut or a Starbucks in it. And, like, they would just walk in the door and be like, we're going to check. Yeah. And. I'm sure they send also surprise inspectors to some places, right? I don't know, for hospitals. Oh, just like. Just like as a regular consumer.

1:05:04Frank Alvarez:Oh, yeah. That would be better.

1:05:07Joe Santagato:I'd be so good. Who gets in trouble for that? I don't know. They should be. Not you, though. Not me. That's right. I can't get in trouble for that. Damn right. But they do make coatings for equipment in the hospital that are antibacterial coatings. What does that mean? Like coatings. Like the keyboards and the mice are coated. So you can't get like a gaming mouse and bring it into the... I mean, you can do whatever you want. But you're going to get in trouble. Probably. But it's cool that they have those coatings. There's some coatings that bacteria don't like living on. They call them bacteriostatic, that the bacteria can't multiply on.

1:05:37Frank Alvarez:What is the reason why we don't use that more? Expensive. It doesn't work with some materials, etc. I feel smarter already.

1:05:48Frank Alvarez:I feel like I learned something, and then it's completely negated by the next conversation. I can't remember anything. I just know that Frank's got diarrhea or something. Stop! All right, I'm back for a little bit more ads. the next one being SeatGeek. SeatGeek, this is where you're going to get all your tickets. You want to go to a concert this summer, you want to go to a baseball game or something like that, or a Broadway play. SeatGeek is where you want to buy those tickets, where I buy all of mine. Anytime I need a ticket for anything, I'm going right to SeatGeek. That's the app that I have.

1:06:17Frank Alvarez:That's what I've used for years and love. So I'm going to SeatGeek because it tells me if I'm paying a good price for a ticket or a bad price for a ticket. Sometimes you just see the prices and you're like, oh, maybe that's a good price. But then you look, that's like, oh, there's much cheaper prices, you know, because the prices are color-coded. So if it's a dark green ticket, that means like this is a really good price. So that's the one I'm going to jump all over. All right. And yeah. So if you want to try out SeatGeek, you can definitely do that. Go download their app and put in the code basement2026 and you will save 10 % off of your next set of tickets.

1:06:51Frank Alvarez:All right. So go download the SeatGeek app, put in that code basement2026 and save 10 % off of your next Seeky tickets. All right. And lastly here, we have Rocket Money. Rocket Money is an all-in-one personal finance app that is just focused on putting the money back in your pocket. Okay. All they want to do is help you grow your savings and make sure you're being financially responsible. One of the ways they do that is they find and cancel unwanted subscriptions. So you will have all of your expenses in one place. You'll be able to go through and say, don't want to pay for that anymore. And that's going to equate to 60 bucks or a hundred bucks a year.

1:07:24Frank Alvarez:Then you can go through everything else and kind of do the same. They're saving you the money. And it's also good to see all of your expenses in one place. So you can realize what am I spending money on? What are the things that I know I'm spending money on, but I don't really use? And what are the things that I didn't even know I was spending money on? So that's why it's very helpful. They also have a tool that's going to help you budget. So if you want to be more financially responsible and set some goals, like I only want to spend this amount every single month so I can grow my savings, they have a tool for that.

1:07:49Frank Alvarez:They also have a tool that's going to help you lower your bills possibly. So it's all about putting the money back in your pocket. But yeah, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. So you can join at rocketmoney.com slash basement. All right. So that is rocketmoney.com slash basement. You can try it for free. There's also a lot of premium features that you're going to get the most bang for your buck there and save the most there. So yeah, go try it out. Rocketmoney.com slash basement. You're welcome. What else have we got? Do you want to go back to forget the good conversation or more good conversation?

1:08:23Frank Alvarez:Just follow your heart, I think. I like this one. What's something most people do every day that will have a negative effect on them in the future that maybe they don't know?

1:08:34Joe Santagato:Can I guess? Sure. He's here for a reason. No, no, no. This is great. It's like I get to fact check live. Creamer in their coffee. I hear that a lot of people do it thinking there's nothing to it, but it carries a lot. You think that's the worst habit we have? I think it's a bad one. I didn't say worse. That's what the question is. No, the question was what's a bad thing?

1:08:54Frank Alvarez:It could be anything, though. I'm not going to reread the question, but I'm going to agree with him. Go ahead. It's probably something to do with sleep. The fact that we don't respect sleep. That eight hours is like... Seven to nine is a good number to aim for as an adult. Children is different. Older people don't need as much. Really?

1:09:15Joe Santagato:After 65.

1:09:16Frank Alvarez:Is that why they're always...

1:09:17Joe Santagato:Because they're sleeping for like an hour and a half in the middle of the day. That's why. Old bastards can't stay awake.

1:09:23Frank Alvarez:I just went to – I just took a flight home at 6 a.m. so I could beat the storm that we just had. And I was like, everyone in here is old. Like, they're up at this time. It was like a very early flight. I'm like, I would never – like, there was no one really there that was, like, around my age. Like, everyone is, like, 65 plus. I mean, when you don't sleep well, your body has to counteract this fatigue that you're feeling. So you go into fight-or-flight mode. And when you're in this fight-or-flight mode, you're not healing well. You're not digesting well. You're not repairing well. and as a result your blood pressure is higher your hormone shifts are generally unhealthy for that day your food choices are not healthy you're putting on weight so it's like impacting your mental health your physical health all around so sleep we need to make love to our sleep and how do you if someone has trouble sleeping how would you suggest that they sleep better um it takes a visit with someone like me who will try and figure out what's the issue because some people have trouble falling asleep, which is one issue.

1:10:22Then you could have people who can't stay asleep. They'll wake up at 2 a.m. and can't go back to sleep. Those are two different issues and have different treatments for both. In general, what I'm seeing people struggle with the most is their sleep hygiene, their ability to do good things to help them fall asleep well. So exposing themselves to early morning light, making sure their bedroom is really dark, cool. there's things like not looking at your phone right before bed exposing yourself to blue light can hurt your ability to fall asleep so there's all of these things that need to be taken into account that most people brush off and like just give me a pill and the pill is not a solution is

1:10:59Frank Alvarez:the magnesium things like a overstated oh yeah so it's not really like a huge yeah no i wish it was i what about how how easy would that make my life here's your thing and melatonin is tricky because melatonin is good where I use it the most probably is for jet lag resetting someone's circadian cycle so let's say you were in one time zone and now you're coming back to this one and you want to reset taking melatonin an hour before bedtime could be totally reasonable to reset but people are taking it every single day yeah so they're becoming reliant on it which is not good and second they're also taking huge doses there's people taking like 10 milligrams 20 milligrams where you're really supposed to use like one two maybe three people are going way too far on it.

1:11:43Frank Alvarez:I've done it five. I think one time. I get one time is. Yeah. It's like a hot dog. You know what I'm saying? It's not. Fourth of July. You want to rip a bunch of fucking melatonin? Be my guest. Not medical advice that I share.

1:11:56Joe Santagato:Hold on.

1:11:57Frank Alvarez:This is what he does.

1:11:58Joe Santagato:Hold on. That's a great idea. Yeah. A line of hot dogs that have trace amounts of melatonin in them. So you can have a pre bed dog.

1:12:08Frank Alvarez:Why is someone looking at me? You want to eat a hot dog? I was hoping you had like a silence button. Yeah, I do hear that.

1:12:16Joe Santagato:And we'll call it sleepy dogs. Oh, that was the care? Oh, wow. That was a good idea. I mean, in theory, you can just put melatonin in anything. I don't think that's true. I think it's regulated. In theory.

1:12:31Frank Alvarez:Like that like saves you. Also eating a hot dog before bed. Wild move.

1:12:37Joe Santagato:I don't do that. Let's make that abundantly clear.

1:12:40Frank Alvarez:Because you're not supposed to eat how many hours before bed? That's not a rule. It's not a rule, Joey. Ideally, if you're struggling with reflux, maybe don't eat two hours before bedtime.

1:12:48Joe Santagato:So the blue light one is an actual question. Because we recently saw something. There's this new thing where it's called like. Blue light glasses. No, no, no. Not just blue light glasses. But it's like sleep revenge or something. And it's like people are trying to stay up later because during the day they don't get enough time. I have young kids. So, like, me and my wife, we try to stay up as, not as late as we can, but a little later because that's the only alone time that we get during the day. So, I'll stay up a little later, but she'll go to sleep, and I'll, like, you know, scroll, like, the news or something on my phone.

1:13:21I do. I mean, scroll up the news.

1:13:24Joe Santagato:When I say the news, it's. You're looking at comic books. Yeah. Spider-Man videos. It's news on the new Disney Plus Power Rangers show. Let's be honest. When he said me and my wife have some time together, I was like, oh, that's so romantic. I mean, we do. And he's like, no, no, no, we get the hell away from each other. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We'll like watch something together. We'll talk, whatever. But I'm saying like she'll go to sleep before me and then I'll scroll the news. Yeah, yes, the news. The news. How long before bed do you think is like blue light a bad thing? I would get rid of it an hour before.

1:13:54Joe Santagato:An hour. Okay. And that's like conservative because you want to, A, limit the blue light exposure because that plays some role. Because you can shift some settings in your phone to decrease blue light anyway. But the more important thing is when you're looking at the news because you're clearly a consumer power rangers watches You're looking at your friends what they're up to what your ex-partners are up to on social media That is not contributing to a good night's sleep. That's making you more anxious people that like I really like and It really is like I stay off social media because I don't I don't like I try to stay away from social media as much as I can.

1:14:29How do you get your news when you when you scroll through the news? It's not really news.

1:14:32Joe Santagato:It's like entertainment stuff. What website or what app? It depends. So, like, I open Google Chrome and at the bottom it'll have, like, a series of suggested things. Like, here are the top Pokemon cards of this new release. Like, here's, like, the news on. Hard-hitting stuff. We're about to go to war. You're talking about Pokemon card releases. Never mind. Stay on the phone, bro. It sounds like you have the perfect sleep routine.

1:14:58They're going to get rid of Bulbasaurus.

1:15:02Joe Santagato:Bulbasaur, don't ever disrespect the number one Pokemon.

1:15:04Frank Alvarez:Oh, shit. Do people scroll on Google Chrome? Is that a thing?

1:15:08Joe Santagato:I do. Look, I'll show you what I do. Look. I'll show you exactly what I do. Don't make it worse. Look, I open Google. Tell me the first news story. Yeah. Read it out loud. Discover. MLB The Show. MLB The Show.

1:15:22Frank Alvarez:The video game. Yeah.

1:15:23Joe Santagato:All right. Jean-Georges. I can't say that. Tin building his clothes. Ten best watches but out of date window. Netflix. Oh, that's a good. let's hear that you want to hear that one i mean of course netflix sub is number one what a netflix i mean rolex sub he just leaked the next collab yeah protect calatrava 96 good choice um but you know that's what that is really what i'm scrolling because i try to stay off social media as much as i can because that's impressive i say i try yeah you know but definitely before bed i do it because I don't want to freak myself out. I tend to be an overthinker with certain things.

1:16:02Joe Santagato:So if I do see, hey, we're close to war, then I'm not going to be able to sleep. But when you see watches without a date window, you go, I get it. It calms me down.

1:16:11Frank Alvarez:I'm going to go to sleep and think about watches. It calms me down. You know what I do?

1:16:13Joe Santagato:Tell me if you do this. I do it. I add things to my cart, and I just leave it there, and I go away. I'm just not going to buy it. You keep stuff in the cart. I window shop online. so you keep it in the cart as a way of giving yourself some time to see if you really need it the following day no I'm not going to buy it ever but you keep it in the cart so you're tricking the website yeah what's that accomplishing nothing it's just something I do maybe they'll give you a discount they do do that oh I'm breaking the system here

1:16:42Frank Alvarez:I don't know I thought we were talking about watches I was like I don't even no no no no you're not putting anything to a cart that's not happening

1:16:50Joe Santagato:Rolexes

1:16:50Frank Alvarez:I'm really hoping Patek says me a coupon

1:16:53Joe Santagato:Yeah, here's 30 % off for St. Patrick's Day on all green dials. That's not happening.

1:17:00Frank Alvarez:That would be super cool. I have a question. What do you think is the – The answer, by the way, to your question was commitment issues, but go ahead. What was the question? Commitment issues. That's why you're doing the cart. Oh, okay. I don't want to make a diagnosis, but it's commitment issues.

1:17:16Joe Santagato:I mean, this is like a therapy session for us. This feels very good for me. This is one thing, but – I will also say you didn't answer how useless male nipples are and if they will lactate once you suck on them enough. They can lactate in certain medical conditions, hormonal imbalances, some medications. But is it milk? It's milk. Okay. Raw milk, baby! But is it milk? I'm just curious. And what's the use of them? It's just like the normal human blueprint. Inside the embryo, we're all the same. and on the outside too we're all kind of similar

1:17:53Frank Alvarez:there's a lot of different things i'm not gonna touch that uh what do you think is like the like obviously you have a lot of knowledge about how to stay healthy and stay on top of those types of things but what do you think is like your most unhealthy habit my cholesterol is really high i'm actually waiting for my results right now to see where i'm at I'm nervous about it. Why is it high? Great question. You're asking personal questions. It's because I'm eating hot dogs. He's asking these personal questions. I told you, transparency. I don't eat a lot of hot dogs. My food choices have not been great.

1:18:25What's your guilty pleasure food?

1:18:27Joe Santagato:Besides hot dogs. Something that's high in saturated fat. I love cookies and cream milkshakes, but I haven't been having them. You know what it is? When I go to a restaurant, I get the Wagyu. And that's not good. I mean, you know. That's me. That's not good. I mean, I just, I'm doing it too often. That's me too. You know how some celebrities or people that get some notoriety on social media, they make a buck and they go, oh my God, and they develop a drug problem? Sure.

1:18:53Frank Alvarez:Yeah. That's me, but with Wagyu. Hell yeah. With like anything that has MP on the menu. Yeah. That's it.

1:19:02Joe Santagato:Two, two. Crab legs. I'll take three orders of them.

1:19:07Frank Alvarez:Are crab legs bad? I said 20 hot dogs.

1:19:09Joe Santagato:No, dude, I feel you on that. 20 years is pretty solid. I'll tell you this, though. I did have the most expensive burger I've ever had in my life this weekend. Where? Kith Ivy. Oh. They make food over there now? Yeah. Oh, it's like the club. It's a member's club. I'm not a member. I don't even know what that is. It's like Kith. I'm not invited. I know Kith. They open like a membership club.

1:19:27Frank Alvarez:It's like a paddle or whatever? It's like a paddle club. You know paddle? Is it paddle or padel? Padel, I guess, yeah. Like paddle ball? Yes, but no. It's like pickleball, tennis, and squash had a baby. Yeah. Okay.

1:19:41Joe Santagato:You've lost me. Somehow following more on the medical talk. How much was the burger? $64. That's the most expensive burger you've ever had? Where do you have a more expensive burger? Yeah, where are you going? Okay, without gold flakes on it. I was just going to ask. There was nothing weird on it. I've never had a more expensive burger. I imagined it was going to be like$200. I mean, where does the$200 burger exist? I'm sure you can find it somewhere. I just had a burger. What's that, like, Fort Charles burger? That's not expensive like that.

1:20:06Frank Alvarez:Yeah, the burger at Fort Charles is probably just like, I don't know,$40. Yeah,$30. Really? Yeah. Huh. I just had Red Hook Tavern for the first time. Like the burger there. Apparently it's actually really good. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda Now lime comes first 7up, flip the sip Damn How much was it?

1:20:49That's a good question

1:20:49Frank Alvarez:I think it was like$30 That's why How was the$64 burger? It was pretty good There were some kebabs on the side that were great It wasn't Wagyu though, right? It was It was

1:21:02Joe Santagato:That's the sick part It wasn't that A5 I think we have a problem It wasn't that A5 It wasn't A5. No. Have you been to Japan? No. All right. I would love to go. Can you take me?

1:21:14Frank Alvarez:Can't bring you to Japan? Yeah, you can. No, you're like a huge addict. 6 '3".

1:21:18Joe Santagato:I mean, yeah, you are. You're big, physically speaking, in Japan. Also, you're super pubes, too.

1:21:27Joe Santagato:We'll cut that out.

1:21:28Frank Alvarez:No, whatever.

1:21:31Frank Alvarez:What are we even talking about at this point? I'll join, obviously. I love sushi, so I'd love to go to Japan. What's your go-to sushi? I was going to a place called Sushi Seki for the longest time on the Upper East Side. They're really good. I meant order.

1:21:48Joe Santagato:Are you going to like?

1:21:49Frank Alvarez:Omokase. I trust the chef. Have you been to Nas? Nas? Yeah, Sushi Nas. Where's that? It's a... Why does it feel like he made that up? No, no, no. He knows his restaurant. It's a very nice restaurant. the chef is like a famous sushi chef or something I went once it was really good but it was very intimidating really cause it's like 8 people and then he's there he's making it and I was like scared to talk and he's judging you to make sure you're eating it correctly dude he scared the fuck out of me because at one point he has like fresh scallops and he's like and it's like very quiet and he's just making it and it's like you know you're watching the guy at work it's amazing and then he just takes the fucking scallop and he's just like like right in front of me on the table and I was like oh Oh, and then it moves.

1:22:34Frank Alvarez:Because it's alive. Yeah, and I ate it. Wow. I feel like these days you can just say a syllable, and it could be a sushi place in the city. Kind of. Yeah, that's pretty much what it was. Because there's a lot of sushi. Did you watch Zero Dreams of Sushi? No, I heard it's good, though.

1:22:48Joe Santagato:Oh, it's really good. We went to a Japanese barbecue place in Texas once. Yeah. That seems like where they would have a good one.

1:22:58Frank Alvarez:The food was good.

1:22:59Joe Santagato:The food was solid.

1:23:01Frank Alvarez:Walk in. All white people were white.

1:23:04Joe Santagato:Yeah, we were like, this doesn't feel right because every person in there was white and they were like. Speaking. Speaking. They were trying to do like traditional, like when someone walks in, how they like shout something in Japanese. It's like when they have the, what are those, where they cook for you, but they do a show? Hibachi? Hibachi, yeah. Don't downplay hibachi. Like you don't think it's awesome. No, but it's been co-opted. Yeah, no. Oh, yeah. Now it's like, you know, kids named Brett that do it. Yeah, exactly. Hibachi does not suck, by the way. Hibachi is incredible. No, hibachi's great.

1:23:34I love the little volcano.

1:23:35Joe Santagato:Isn't that cool? Yeah. I one time went and got real drunk, and they let me go and do the volcano, and I put my hand on the thing and went like that. Burnt off my... Wow. What would make you do that? You shouldn't have done that. Did you not hear the very drunk one that was the preamble to that story? It was the first time I hear sepsis. Sepsis? Sepsis. Can we stop talking about my borderline sepsis? Do you dip sushi in soy sauce the correct way? You're supposed to dip the fish side, right? I don't do it at all. Oh, you don't? Oh, because you go to the fancy place where they brush it with a brush.

1:24:11That's right.

1:24:11Frank Alvarez:Well, not – but even when I get sushi at home, I'll just, like, eat it. When you get sushi at home, you make it yourself? No, no, no. Like, when I order it. He doesn't use the soy sauce, I think is what he says. Yeah, yeah. I don't dip it. I just, like, eat it because I feel like soy sauce is such a – Powerful. Yeah, it's so powerful that I'm, like, I don't want to ruin the – No, it's not a little – And sometimes there's like a little sauce there that isn't.

1:24:33Joe Santagato:A little bit. I'll throw like a little. A little bit. Spicy mayo. Yeah, yeah. Where's that from? That's from somewhere. A little where? What? I think he's talking about your tongue. Oh, my tongue? My tongue is for my mouth. Not for the sword.

1:24:46Frank Alvarez:Just like a little like. Like that? Yeah. I mean, they have like a, you know, something. I'll be like, all right. Or like a little wasabi or like a ginger.

1:24:53Joe Santagato:Damn. Let's get back to the medical talk. So, male nipples. Male nipples. They're not useless. I mean, they have sensation for people enjoy them sexually sometimes.

1:25:07Frank Alvarez:How would you know? You outright. He does, right?

1:25:11Joe Santagato:Thank you, man. I said that. It's just he comes in here and he's just like, oh, I'm going to take a picture. Oh, that's not what I did. It's not a sexual thing. Loves, loves to play with his nipples. No, that's crazy.

1:25:24Frank Alvarez:I mean, I'm not against it. I'm not approved, dude. You want to pull on my nipples? Whatever. It is what it is. Now I know why you guys have such a big space. Hidden rooms. Yeah, you know. That's the nipple set over there. My office is up there. There's a lock on the door. Ant, one more question. One more. None of them are. All right, so after that. Okay, here we go. Can you actually, is this yours? Can you actually get sick from holding a fart?

1:25:52Joe Santagato:I didn't write that. I did not write that. That was not me. Have you gotten sick from holding a fart? Stop looking at me. It wasn't me. I hate – Hold on. You're just closer. That's fair. I notably hate farts. I hate burps. I hate poop talk.

1:26:08Frank Alvarez:Oh, I can't burp. I have that thing. It's called like RC something. I don't know. I don't know. RC Cola. I can't burp. You have enough of that, you'll burp. Oh, yeah. I can't burp. Like very – It's the opposite of often. Rarely. very rarely it'll just kind of like escape and it'll like kind of scare me but i can't burp and it's like yeah it just kind of like it feels like i'm gonna throw up out of nowhere and i'm like oh interesting so you have like a sensitive esophagus or something that there was there was something i read online that people because i saw this like tiktok where someone was talking about and i was like oh this is the thing that i have and then you can correct it with like botox and a certain thing so i think just like a muscle it's like a muscular thing i don't know i'm not sure i'm just so muscular that's what it is that's what you're so fucking ripped he has a ripped

1:26:54Joe Santagato:throat my neck look at my neck look at his throat look at like 16 and a half here washboard abs on

1:27:00Frank Alvarez:his adam's apple it's a thick neck it is a thick neck he's all right he doesn't have the ability to relax his throat is what they're saying yeah you hey hey not me remember when you asked me what's one thing that would phase out of the human body yeah based on survival of the fittest probably i think uh an over tight throat yeah an over yeah you gotta yeah you gotta be able to burp it's gonna it's gonna get more loose as you gotta you gotta loosen your throat up yeah what was the question that you asked by the way oh yeah farts if you get sick painful farts oh painful fart i didn't write that um it's not gonna be comfortable you might be bloated first of all you farting is normal yeah let's put that out there of course 10 to 20 times a day totally great to fart more that's normal what about those people that are like jarring their farts we talked to someone

1:27:41Joe Santagato:once that's like oh yeah there was a lot like storing she was like having like she was having like a pot of cabbage soup a day and then like selling jarred farts interesting um i'm not sure about that you know you could absorb your fart and then breathe it out excuse me i've never wait so like you can like suck in through your butt and then the how does that happen it just your intestines are permeable to certain gases and those gases can be absorbed and then released by your lungs so you're farting in your own belly in your mouth belly is not connected to the lung you know how they say shin bone the belly and the lung are separate

1:28:25Frank Alvarez:your belly is 34 years old what about your tummy your tummy is filled with a fart wow that is disgusting the entire GI tract is full of air that's normal because when you swallow you swallow some air always but what's interesting is do you think what's inside your GI tract is outside or inside your body

1:28:48Joe Santagato:what does that mean? Well, hold on. See, now you're asking questions that he can't follow. Wait, what's inside my body? Yeah, is it inside, is it technically, like the food you eat, is it inside your body? Yeah. Where else would it be? Well, technically, like, Oh, it's like a straight pipe. Well, not straight pipe. Right. So, like, we're kind of like a straw. Yeah. So, hear me out. So, then if you were to take someone and hold them, like ass over water and like suck on their mouth long enough will you get water through their mouth like a straw there's too many sphincters preventing i don't know what you're talking about

1:29:30Frank Alvarez:no i'm like the email that i'm gonna get is just gonna be pages and pages yeah put that one down um would would that go down as one of the worst questions you've ever heard i mean there's i think We've hit like the top ten. All ten. All ten have been... It's definitely up there. That was rough. But it probably wouldn't smell. You didn't answer my question. No, I did answer your question. There's too many sphincters that prevent that from happening. How many sphincters does a normal person have? A lot. I thought there was only one sphincter. Where? The sphincter. No, there's the pyloric sphincter.

1:30:10Frank Alvarez:I mean, there's other sphincters. I didn't know this.

1:30:12Joe Santagato:Thank you. See? What a dumb question. We learned from it. Yeah. This is, yeah.

1:30:17Frank Alvarez:What you're saying is like it's outside. What do you mean by that? Well, because like, again, it's like there is a hole going through your body that connects two exits.

1:30:27Joe Santagato:So it's like the space around is the body. Is what's inside the body like inside the blood vessels, inside the fascia. What if there's a hole going through all of it? Ah. Like a straw.

1:30:39Frank Alvarez:It's like insane for me to think about. Yeah. Think about it. simply from like a worm perspective. A worm eats and then it just has like a thing that goes through it. That's easier to picture than our complicated system. Honestly, that never even occurred to me that it's like, there's a Frank, shut up. Because you asked one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my entire life. This is insane. Now I know how he got sepsis. For this. If you help someone else, I'm going to get an email from my hospital administrator that's like, Dr. Mike, you were posed this question about sucking water through the human judge.

1:31:24Joe Santagato:Oh, that's actually a good question. Is any of your content made any people that you've worked with or your superiors have to tell you, listen? No, they're actually super supportive, so it's nice. I mean, after this, who knows? We're going to see what they say.

1:31:38Frank Alvarez:Oh, my God, dude. This is really not good. Can you imagine you breathe farts? Yeah, no, that's just hard. But farts smell bad because of the sulfur components, and that's not one that you regularly will breathe out.

1:31:52Joe Santagato:Is there methane in there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For methane producers.

1:31:55Frank Alvarez:So you could die from it with enough of it. Of what? Farting. Like in a small room, a lot of methane? No. Damn it.

1:32:04Joe Santagato:Is it true? And I don't know if you would have the answer to this, but, like, the ozone is potentially ruined because of all the methane from couts. Cow farts are all that? I'm not an environmental doctor, a different doctor.

1:32:16Frank Alvarez:My God, that was awesome. I'm not an oracle. Dude, you are so awesome.

1:32:21Joe Santagato:Let's be honest. These guys like Neo. This is the most important episode we've ever had because we are asking anything and everything like, what happens after death? We're going to ask it and you're going to help us get there.

1:32:36Frank Alvarez:Oh, my God, dude. Well, this is a good time. We appreciate you so much. Thank you for coming, man. It's nice to see that there's other creators in New York. I feel like there's few of us. I know. Come hang out. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, come hang. Ball. Do you ball? Yeah, I ball. Where do you ball? Well, I don't ball like that. I balled. I can ball. I was going to say the last. There has to be a blue ball question coming. There was a blue ball question. See, I knew it.

1:33:00Joe Santagato:There was a blue ball question. There was. What is it? No, you know what it is. Don't ask me. I didn't write it. Someone here wrote it. He wrote it.

1:33:08Frank Alvarez:I didn't write it. You did. No, I did not. How would you define it? Blue balls. It's a hurting of my balls. I've never had it happen. Do you concur?

1:33:15Joe Santagato:Why are you asking? Oh, well, I am closer to being a doctor than he is. We've already established that. So, doctor, what is a blue ball? Blue balls are a buildup of...

1:33:29Joe Santagato:Semen? Sperm and semen in the testicular region that as it is traveling through, it kind of gets stopped at the door by the bouncer. and it's just like we are at capacity or we're not letting anyone in tonight. Out. Private event. Not letting anyone out. Yeah. Yeah. But like they're standing at like the base of the shaft and they're just like stay here. And then? And then it just stays there and it's just like it's like when, you know, when people like an overcrowded room, you know. It's uncomfortable. Too much in there and it's like, well, the walls are going to burst at a certain point. Nailed it.

1:34:05Joe Santagato:Did I? No. No.

1:34:11I mean, it was a good swing. Good swing. Right. But it wasn't exactly in the right direction.

1:34:17Joe Santagato:I mean, I'm not looking for exacts, but at least give me, like, I am on the right path. Well, semen is not involved in the process at all. Gotcha. So blue balls is epididymal congestion or hypertension. So basically, you get a lot of blood flow to your genital area. That increases pressure. But then when you don't orgasm That pressure just builds and stays But it's a blood flow issue It's a vascular issue It's like a penis heart attack No

1:34:47Frank Alvarez:That sounded For some reason that sounded so smart It did Absolutely not A penis heart attack is more like When you have You know one of those erections that lasts more than 8 hours They always say on the commercials Oh yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because literally, that blood sits there, and because it's losing oxygen, it's acidifying, it's damaging the endothelial lining there. So, yeah, that's like a penis heart attack.

1:35:16Joe Santagato:Oh, so if that – oh, wow. That's why they got to drain it. I never – They have to drain it? Yeah, they poke it with a needle and everything. Oh, my God. So don't do it. Well, I mean – I wouldn't even know how. Well, they say like with those like –

1:35:29Frank Alvarez:Gas station pills?

1:35:30Joe Santagato:Yeah, like horny goat weed. That'll get you going.

1:35:32Frank Alvarez:Horny goat weed?

1:35:34Joe Santagato:I mean you grew up in New York you don't remember going to the bodega and seeing any horny goat weed behind right next to the fart bags tell me what you did in this bodega no is that how you got septic right next to the fart lemon heads I got lemon lemon heads lemon head I was getting lemon heads you are buying horny rain you remember rain blow the gumballs that had like the food dye in them so your mouth would turn different colors what the hell you had an interesting childhood sir don't don't two bucks for me yeah no like you don't seriously you never went into bodega and saw like horny we went to different bodegas they they so they're like um it's like a pill and and it literally has a goat on it or like people making ale and it's called horny goat weed look it up what would happen when you would take it i didn't take it i've never taken it but you know so much about it it's at the counter it's at the counter it's It's used as like, you know, the like, what's it called?

1:36:29Joe Santagato:Viagra? Viagra. It was like the like Bodega Viagra, basically. Well, interesting. Viagra and all those medications, sildenafil, they, in the commercials, you'll hear them say if you have an erection, it lasts more than four hours. It almost never happens as a result of just those medications. So they don't really cause that. What do those medications do?

1:36:51Frank Alvarez:It's just like a, that's like a blood flow? It's a circulation thing. Oh, okay. Yeah. But, like, how does it target the balls? Like, dick. It doesn't. That's why some people get bloodshot when their eyes get bloodshot. When they take it, their nose sometimes runs because it opens all the blood vessels. Oh, wow.

1:37:06Joe Santagato:It's a vaso-relaxer. And this is serious. I don't think I've known someone that's ever taken them. And I guess they wouldn't publicize that to me.

1:37:14Frank Alvarez:I don't know either.

1:37:15Joe Santagato:It's because you're not a doctor. Yeah. Yeah. I know plenty of people who've taken them. Well, have you prescribed it? Of course. Why do you say it like that? Well, because you're making it sound like I'm a fake doctor. No, no, no, no. You ever prescribe antibiotics? No, no, no, no. Don't do that. I don't want this to come off. You ever hear of amoxicillin? I just didn't know if it was something you've ever done before. After horny goat weed, he totally disbelieved that I'm a physician. You don't know horny goat weed? Where'd you get your license? No, that's more about the growing up in New York part of it that I'm surprised.

1:37:48Airheads, lemonheads, that's what I was doing.

1:37:50Joe Santagato:Are you an airhead guy? We'll call her airhead. That's a good question. I think the white one. Oh, my God, dude. You just like to live on the edge. Yeah. You just like to.

1:37:59Frank Alvarez:Because you just never know. I don't believe that.

1:38:02Joe Santagato:I think they figured out that it was a flavor. Oh, it is?

1:38:04Frank Alvarez:Yeah, I think it's like all of the white ones are like that flavor. Yeah. Oh. But it's like mystery. Oh. Do you guys have Scholastic Book Fairs? Hell yeah, dude. They don't have that anymore. I know. What do they do? It hurts, yeah. Who reads?

1:38:18Joe Santagato:I mean, wait a sec. No, they had a book fair at one of my kids. I think at Miles' school. I don't know. I said that without actually knowing. Welcome to the show, baby. Oh, no, I'm being infected.

1:38:30Frank Alvarez:It's in the air. It's in the air. Welcome to the show. So you're going to go home and get septic.

1:38:34Joe Santagato:No, no, no. It's not as prominent as when we were kids, but they do book sales to some degree. I know that because we've given the kids money, and they've come back with books and stuff like that. I used to love the book fair. Oh, my God. When you'd get that paper, and you'd just be like, oh, shit, I can buy three pounds of slime. Dude, I love goosebumps. I never read a book from Goosebumps, but I just had them. Did you watch the show? Did you watch the show? There was a show. What? What?

1:39:01Frank Alvarez:Oh, oh, oh, they're like the little movies.

1:39:04Joe Santagato:Was that a TV show? It was a show, and they're episodic. Are you guys kidding me with this? Wow. You don't remember? Ryan Gosling was in one. Ryan? What? Yeah. As a child. As a child actor, yeah. And the Say Cheese and Die episode. Thank God you're here. Yeah. You're welcome. That's a full-grown adult actor. I did not know that. Dude, I don't know where they're available. It might be on Netflix, but like a piece of nostalgia. I just saw R.L. Stein on that Golden show, the collectible show. He was like auctioning off something. Actually, it might have been from the show. Dude, apparently, I don't know how true this is.

1:39:37Joe Santagato:The rumor is that he has sold more copies of Goosebumps than Stephen King has sold copies of the novel. Yeah, I heard that too. I think that's actually. That's crazy, dude. R.L. Stein. Legend. Absolute legend. Hope he's not on the list. Looks like the guy.

1:39:51Frank Alvarez:who would write that book. Yeah. You know what I mean? I can't picture him in my head.

1:39:55Joe Santagato:You've never seen a picture of... No, he was on the show, but I just can't... Oh, man. He looks like R.L. Stine. There's no other way to describe it. And Stephen King looks like Stephen King. You know that one. Are you afraid of the dark? Were you a fan of that as a kid? No, I was really afraid of the dark.

1:40:10Frank Alvarez:Me too. Yeah. No, I was afraid of the show. The show. Oh, sorry. Wait, you're afraid of the dark now? Yeah. Really? Yeah. You got a nightclub? Now less. Now noise more.

1:40:20Joe Santagato:He took a psychology class, so he can help therapize you. Let's unpack that.

1:40:26Frank Alvarez:Would you say you're afraid of noise? Noise at night. What is it? Oh, at night. You grew up in New York, brother. He lives in the burbs. I know. Now it's joy. Yeah, if I hear anything, I'm nervous.

1:40:35Joe Santagato:Yo, I'm telling you. Since moving out of the city, you hear something, I get freaked out. I'm like, fuck. Yeah, because it's supposed to be quiet. Yes.

1:40:43Frank Alvarez:And then the house makes a noise. I don't like that. That's it. No one's not. I moved into an apartment that was in like an old building once. Oh, the creeks. It was my second night there. And like, I don't know why I do this myself. I got in bed and I was like, what if this place is haunted? That was my first thought. Then I start hearing banging. And it's like, I'm used to. It was not. But I'm hearing banging and I'm like, what is that? And then it ended up being the heat, but it didn't sound like a radiator or anything. I walked outside And then there's like One pole Like on the opposite side Of my apartment That was running I thought there was Someone in my apartment I ran downstairs

1:41:21Joe Santagato:Like look up at me then Yo like particularly When like Like the winter is coming Because the ground Is swelling and shit like that Like the house is Like my house shifts So like you'll just Randomly in the middle And I hear just like Yeah I don't I'm just like

1:41:34Frank Alvarez:Uh oh

1:41:36Joe Santagato:That's scary

1:41:36Frank Alvarez:It ain't fun I think you're Very mentally strong If you could turn off The light in your basement And slowly walk up the stairs I do that. I haven't done that. I do that. I feel like I always kind of ruin it.

1:41:45Joe Santagato:When I was a kid, that movie 13 Ghosts ruined me. You remember that movie? No.

1:41:49Frank Alvarez:No.

1:41:49Joe Santagato:What did you watch as a kid?

1:41:51Frank Alvarez:You named two things.

1:41:52Joe Santagato:Nickelodeon. And you didn't see Are You Afraid of the Dark? Rugrats. Rugrats was a great show. Doug. Hey, Arthur. Doug. Hey, Arnold. Hey, Arthur. Or Arthur is a different one. There is an Arthur. They are barred. Arthur was on PBS. Hey, Arnold. Hey, Arnold. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, Arthur was on PBS. Yeah. That was a good kid show. If you watch that, you got good grades. Yeah, exactly. Well, look at you. You're doing all right for your time. You probably watched it. You know what they call the person. I was watching Dexter's Laboratory, Ed, Ed, and Eddie. Oh, that's a good one, though. Those are all very good.

1:42:26Powerpuff Girls? Hell yeah. Those are good times. What do they watch now?

1:42:31Frank Alvarez:I don't even know. You want to know what's on TikTok? Oh, no way. I think so.

1:42:36Joe Santagato:No, my kids watch Bluey. It's a big one. Bluey is big. Is that like Blue's Clues? No. Actually, you know, kind of. It's about blue Australian dogs. But like, no, it's really endearing. Like, there's some episodes. Like Clifford, but now he's blue. Yeah. Not really. Like, it's like the whole world is dogs. Oh, I see. Except for like seagulls and shit like that. And it's from Australia. You know, they have one like child's program that does well. I want to know what person. I want to know two people's mindsets. One, who writes a book that says, imagine the whole world was dogs and seagulls? Yeah.

1:43:12And second, who was the first person to see a cow udder and go, I want to suck on that? Hell yeah.

1:43:17Joe Santagato:Dude. Wait, what? No, no, no. I agree. I would like to know what that mentality is.

1:43:23Frank Alvarez:You ever milk a cow? No. What?

1:43:24Joe Santagato:Whoa, dude. Doc, we got to get you out there. We got to get you at the farm.

1:43:27Frank Alvarez:You grew up in Queens. Where are you milking cows? We went to the zoos, my guy. Field trips? Yeah. Like a field trip. You went to a nice school. We went to public schools, baby. We didn't go anywhere nice. Okay. Did you go to PS to PS to oh, see you went to the low schools I went to PS 104 by time. That doesn't matter. There's one 12

1:43:46Joe Santagato:Well, yeah, first of all when they get to the hundreds, it's the scraps too. It's just like yo This is like the good. This is a good why they took you to the goat farm. We went to it But no in our elementary our pre-k we went to the I didn't even get she in front of me I was like, yo, this is fucked up. Yeah, killing I'm telling you right now. You ever milk a cow? It'll change your life. It'll change your life. It's just not what you expect. What do you expect? I don't expect much. I thought it would be like a balloon. Very light. There's some weight to it. They're heavy. If you milk a cow in a metal bucket.

1:44:21Joe Santagato:Now we're talking. The sound is good. How did you do that? It's really good.

1:44:29Frank Alvarez:That didn't sound anything like it. That was an insane sound.

1:44:33Joe Santagato:Do you have a bionic cow? I'm very good with sounds. It's like a spaceship. Not recreating them, obviously. I'm pretty good with sounds and impressions.

1:44:41Frank Alvarez:Have you milked a cow? I have never milked a cow, no. This is ridiculous. We could do a field trip. We're leaving right now to go milk a cow. I don't even know. I think RFK will come. Yeah, he will.

1:44:51Joe Santagato:That's like the third mention of RFK on this episode. He loves raw milk and genes. He does. Yeah, and you're talking about udders. He does. You know what? If anyone knows what udders feel like, it's probably RFK. He's getting that raw milk straight from the source, baby. The idea of drinking milk out of an udder is...

1:45:06Frank Alvarez:That's what raw milk is. No, I know. It's just... I don't get it.

1:45:12Joe Santagato:Yeah, I'm really good with homogenized milk. You know, I'm good with that. It's pasteurized, I say. Yeah. Anyway. Well, my favorite is when they go, I love raw milk, but I boil it. It's no longer raw. It's gluey pasteur in the flesh.

1:45:31and now it's cooked yeah like the hot dogs that you used to have i put it through a strainer

1:45:37Joe Santagato:like i you know it's not raw yeah i boil it through a cheesecloth well that's why like a lot of the people who are anti-vaccine are like why don't doctors think about prevention ever you guys are all about treatments with your pharma i'm like vaccines yeah they prevent the illness and they go no but not vaccines gotcha not because it's supporting it's not supporting their argument but it is so i don't get it i think you did a great job dealing with probably some of the most i mean they're great people i'm gonna be nice i'm gonna be nice i'm gonna be nice i'm not gonna do it you you show you showed a lot of patience and i don't know how you did it well the purpose is to get everyone on the same page because vaccines only work when all of us buy in and i'm not selling them to get people to buy in i'm selling them because they work and I'm telling the truth and we want to not have measles again.

1:46:31See, I want to make America Health again by going back to where we were before the measles outbreak.

1:46:36Joe Santagato:If you can give one parting sentiment to people, what would it be? Trust your doctor, not RFK. Wow. That's a good sentiment. It is. Yeah. I mean, you're not going to get an argument out of here. He literally says, do not trust experts. That's his, these are quotes.

1:46:57Frank Alvarez:Yeah, I mean... He says certain vaccines have killed more people than they've saved. I mean... Yeah.

1:47:02Joe Santagato:Would you ever do a sit-down interview with our... I would love it. I would box him. Whatever he wants to do. Oh, shit! I'm a professional fighter. You have to... Well, you're a professional fighter? I fought on Showtime Pay-Per-View.

1:47:16Frank Alvarez:Fight Frank right now. Fight me right now. I can't. If I hit you, I can go to jail for... I won't call. He'll call. It's if he dies. We'll have him sign something. We'll have him sign it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I won't call. That's not a thing you can sign. We're not going to call. I can sign it. You can't sign it.

1:47:27Joe Santagato:Who says I can't sign it? A waiver. Look at a doctor. Who are you to tell me I can't sign it? Where's the lawyer? Yeah, where's the lawyer? Answer lawyer. I can do it. We'll have a doctor sign off, and then... I can't be the one killing him and treating him. Wait, so you're a trained, what, boxer? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I fought on Jake Paul's undercurrent.

1:47:44Frank Alvarez:Oh, nice. Yeah. Did you win? No. Nice. But I won my first one against iDubbbz. I don't know if you guys know who that is. Oh, I do. He's a YouTuber, right? Yeah, I beat him up pretty bad.

1:47:52Joe Santagato:There you go, dude So you're tall You got a great head of hair, if I may say so myself From one head of hair to another head of hair You know, someone accused me of having a toupee the other day That's nice You know, people just want to see They see people that are doing well for themselves And they're happy And they're just like, I want to fucking ruin that person I'd love to see what they're seeing Do the Trump thing Try to rip your hair off right now Oh, I saw the stitches

1:48:19Frank Alvarez:You know how fucking funny it would be if it just came off and stuck into the wall. I would have pissed my pants. You guys now use generative AI banana, whatever it is. Oh, yeah. Nano banana, whatever the fuck it is. Yeah. That would be crazy. Just have Dr. Mike ripping his fucking hair off and putting it on the wall. Say, we can fight. Oh, that was intimidating. You sat on to... We could fight. You can... No, I fought a... You know who Nate Diaz is? Yeah. Yeah. I fought his, like, trading partner in Boring, Chris Avila. That's who I fought. He has a dirty pro fight.

1:48:51Joe Santagato:Goddamn.

1:48:52Frank Alvarez:That was a crazy thing you did. Yeah. Good for you. And I lost all the judges' scorecards. He didn't knock me out.

1:48:56Joe Santagato:Who cares? You won in your heart, right? Oh, yeah, I won. That's it. That's all you need. I mean, because of that, we were able to donate$125 ,000 to the Harlem Boys and Girls Club, which is great. Hell, yeah. So I got paid for the fight. That's awesome. Sweet. So that was cool.

1:49:08Frank Alvarez:Oh, you did it just to donate the money? Yeah, for the funsies. What a guy. Works in a hospital. I don't recommend it. Don't fight. That's not good. All right. But I did it.

1:49:16Joe Santagato:Do as I say not as I do type situation. There we go. That's a good line and the tongue can lick them both We could have gone without the second part

1:49:27Frank Alvarez:But do you want to just plug like your YouTube channel and everything? Yeah, check it out dr. Mike that's everywhere Yeah, it's really cool that I own kind of dr. Mike like that's a pretty common name There's one dr. Mike.

1:49:38Joe Santagato:I used to see the billboard on the turnpike all the time There was a billboard. Yeah, see every day. I would drive. Yeah, every day I would drive home. Dr. Mike, the internet's number or YouTube number one doctor. And I was just like, thank you YouTube. What did it say?

1:49:52Frank Alvarez:What was it like?

1:49:52Joe Santagato:That's all it said. It was a picture of him like.

1:49:55Frank Alvarez:Stethoscope or not?

1:49:56Joe Santagato:Yeah, of course. Yeah. You got to get this. You got to do that. Scrubs. And it said, Dr. Mike. How long ago is this? Very recent. This has to be a long time ago. Within the last like three years, maybe I would say three, four years. Yeah. Interesting.

1:50:10Frank Alvarez:That's great.

1:50:11Joe Santagato:Sam knows. Yeah.

1:50:12Frank Alvarez:That's amazing. Well, we thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you. Anytime you guys have questions, I'll stop by. I'm not far. We'll see you next week.

1:50:20Joe Santagato:You might get a call in the middle of an episode. That's okay. I'm always on call.

1:50:24Frank Alvarez:If Chris and Bell can do it, then I'm going to hit you up. Oh, yeah. You're getting a message 100%. It's okay, man. Frank's trying to convince me to drink my own piss. Or we're just going to use Dr. Mike, I think. We'll have him on standby for you. We'll have a Dr. Mike button. We'll have a Dr. Mike button. I'm telling the doctor now that you said that. Yeah, go follow Dr. Mike everywhere. It makes awesome content on Instagram everywhere. And that is all. See you guys next time.

1:51:04Joe Santagato:Have you heard that McDonald's spicy chicken McNuggets made with spicy tempura and a blend of aged cayenne are back?

1:51:13Frank Alvarez:Remember to grab a few extra napkins

1:51:17Joe Santagato:for a limited time at participating McDonald's.