#547 - A Scientist Joins The Show

23:49Sometimes if I'm not careful, my paper towels will fall over.

23:52Joe Santagato:Oh, we didn't. Thanks for adding that. Yeah, wow. Who cares? We need that.

24:00Show like that happens, though. Like, all the doors in my apartment, when one of the windows open, slam. Yeah. Is that happening again? Yes, that happened. One window could be open. I step outside, bang! I'm like, yo.

24:11Joe Santagato:And it'll scare the fuck out of me. I'm thinking fucking Nicole slamming doors. I'm like, what? Windows open, she goes to the bathroom and slams. I'm like, what now? Yeah, I think that one of the kids, like, fucking closed the door on their hand or some shit like that. Yeah, it's terrifying. Yeah, but I get what she was trying to do, but I think that, like, in her calling it burping, I was just like, I'm not allowing this. Yeah. So I was like, shut the doors. I'm not burping. Leave us our stale air. Apparently, it is a thing, like, with, like, really, really big, like, expensive houses. they get like pressurized like a plane yeah like if they have like because we know our contractor we were talking with like i like joked with him about it and he's like there are some like multi-million dollar estates that like they have such a well-functioning like air like ventilation system and like all their windows are like super new and sealed and high-end and like the doors and blah blah blah that like that's a real thing that like there will be a sense of pressure so like that's why like sometimes you'll like open a door and it'll go like like a like a coke can that is crazy yeah but i mean burping it is stupid yeah so i was just like you want to go on the back of the house and pat the fucking back of the house up yeah no um also you mentioned plane i was like wondering this for you guys but i'm create a hypothetical situation for you if you are in a city you're not home just want to be we are flying in a couple days so please be very cognizant of that anxiety it's not that okay um so let's just say that we're in like denver which is like what four hours away let's just call it whatever is exactly four hours away and then you're on the plane on the way home and they come on the thing and they're like we need someone to get off we're offering this much what's your cut off and there's nothing that you need to be home for cut off like minimum no like yeah like what is an amount that you're like i'm getting off this plane taking that money and you get on a later flight like that day and i'll say this the flight that you're gonna get on is like five hours from where like now so you there's a five hour wait yeah and then it's the the normal like like uh duration of the flight it's not like it's like a connecting flight no no it's a it's a direct flight it's the same flight just five hours later and question what was i doing in denver see come on man why does that matter because i'm planning that i would take half of what my trip was i it's up to you i don't know how much was the flight that's a big part of it too like is it going to be more expensive than what i is it going to be more money than what i paid for the flight like am i walking out i mean you're paying for the flight regardless yeah but if i pay say the round trip hypothetically yeah not that this happens much anymore but say the round trip is like 500 bucks okay and they're saying we'll offer you 600 bucks i'm in the green there so like if anything like i've made money on the trip so let's let's say it was let's say it was 500 bucks i think i'd do 1.5 times i'd be fine with 750 and you would get off and be like, I'll wait.

27:36Joe Santagato:Yeah. If I have no reason to get home and I'm just getting and I'm going to be walking away up, I think 1.5 times whatever you paid for it is fine at five hours. You start adding more time on there, then we're talking more money. You never take the first offer. It's not the first offer. It's like they continue to offer. I gave what I thought was a reasonable amount. There's an amount that they'll say and you're like, fuck that, I'm taking that. I like the math. I like 1.5 times the flight. I think a flat thousand. A flat thou-wow? A thou-wow? Yeah, a thou-wow. So you're telling me that if your trip is over, if the flight is over$1 ,000 and they offer you$1 ,000, you're good with that?

28:23I see, because then the math goes away.

28:25Joe Santagato:Yes. Profit$1 ,000. Profit$1 ,000 is crazy. There's almost no way. Yeah, there's no way. If you're going to, like, Japan, where it's like a$1 ,200 ticket, they're not going to be like, we'll offer you$2 ,200, brother. Yeah. Depends how desperate they are, I guess. I mean. I mean, if anything. They will ground that plane before they give you$2 ,200. Oh, yeah, I'm not planning to get that. It infuriates me that that happens because, like, I'm sure there's a business reason to it, and Big Airplane will come on here and tell us. I think it's more about weight. Like, when the, when. But why do they, why?

28:59They should book one person per seat. No, what I'm talking about is about weight of, like, cargo. Like, if all of our luggage is just more than whatever. Because, you know, you could pay, like, when you go, especially on a bigger flight where you, by the way, this is based in nothing. Just, like, 90 % of what we talk about on the show. When you bring your luggage and it's, like, it has to be, like, under a certain amount, I think you pay a fee if it's above that. So if enough people are doing that and it's like, oh, well, it's a full flight and the luggage like the plane is too heavy plus the fuel.

29:32Like we just need some people off.

29:35Joe Santagato:So you're telling me that like the reason that you pay an extra fifty dollars if it's over 50 pounds luggage is because in theory enough people will do that to justify pulling one person off that plane. I think it's to avoid like the reason why you pay a fee there is so you avoid people just bringing like hundreds of pounds of luggage. Yeah, but also in theory, if five people bring 150 extra pounds, it comes out to 250 extra pounds. Right. The amount that it would cost could be the amount that a ticket would be. Sure. Maybe that's part of it too. I mean, like there has to be a limit. But I think it's between that and they also overbook flights.

30:14I don't know how that's possible.

30:16Joe Santagato:I hate – knock on wood, that is yet to happen to me. To be overbooked? To be overbooked, where it's just like, oh, sorry. It's like, I booked. Like, I will go full Karen in that situation. Well, I don't think they kick you off the plane. They ask people to get off. Yeah, but that's someone else. They overbooked, so someone else that also booked is fucked. Yeah. Like, that happened to me and Danny. What happened? They overbooked, and we just didn't have seats. Like, we got there. We didn't have seats on the plane. Well, if you do that, so if you book, there's, like, different. classes classes i guess but like yeah it's like main and then main plus or i don't know some shit like that where it's like one of them is a little cheaper and you don't have a seat until you show up to the gate so that's the risk that you run yeah well i'm never making that mistake again right that's never happened to me and i've flown like a main cabin or standard whatever whatever it is several yeah they offered us money though but you but you have a seat you've booked and like got the but why can i but why does that happen where like then they go you don't have a seat because because that does happen that does happen is it like just part of the risk you run you get a discount i think it's probably i mean i'm again i'm sure someone that works for the fucking faa is going to be in the comments just be like let me tell you it's probably more it probably has it probably has to do with like the inherent risk of someone backing out or not showing up so like probably it's probably like on average 1.8 people just don't show up for their flight so they'll book three extra to like just take that risk and it ends up if anything making them more money because they're booking it and then they can just throw them on another flight can you look that up how why are they yeah i am it's it's pretty much what you're saying it's just a practice that started in the 50s and it's just them compensating for people who cancel flights it's insane that like they can't eat one seat like whatever that would cost like well i i Especially then.

32:19Joe Santagato:How much was a ticket in 1950? Oh, my God. Look up what a round-trip ticket to Boca Raton, Florida is. Don't ask me why that's where. Now? In 1950. Oh. Or like the average ticket price in 1950 and the average ticket price now. Because we know it's ridiculous. But back then, it was also a different flying experience. It was just like, you could fly for$30. A round-trip ticket in the 50s from New York to Florida was$75. Hotbox. Crazy. But also, you're sitting next to someone who's ripping darts, dude. I'm talking like you are getting hotboxed with tobacco. And you're in a suit. Yeah. Did you see that there was, I don't know if it was an airport.

33:03Joe Santagato:I think it was the Tampa airport banned pajamas. Yo, I'm kind of into that. What? I mean, I'm not showing up with the Cookie Monster pajamas and fucking Spongebob slides. Well, people are. That sucks. But, like, where are we cutting off pajamas? Like, I show up in basketball shorts and slides sometimes to some flights. Yeah. I think that's okay. I just don't think, like, pajama pants and, like, fuzzy slippers is, like. Yeah. Like, you're in pub. I mean, that's not even just for the airport. I think anywhere, like, outside. I mean, I personally wouldn't wear that. I mean, that was like a meme that was born in our age bracket for people in high school.

33:47Joe Santagato:Like, everyone remembers the kids that would show up. It was mostly girls that would show up to high school in these SpongeBob pajamas and, you know. I have a clarification here. Of what? For the price ticket of the 50s. Okay. It's equivalent to$1 ,000 to$1 ,200 today. It was technically more expensive than back then, 40 % more expensive, because of just how difficult it was for planes to fly. Oh, so inflation. So when they take inflation into account, it was, oh, wow, that's pretty interesting. It was actually more expensive back then because planes weren't as efficient. Wow. Ratio was. Yeah, because people were making less.

34:22There was probably less planes, too.

34:23Joe Santagato:Yeah. Less planes, less flights. You know, I'm sure they were also less technologically advanced. Yeah. Let me ask you a serious question. if someone were to like do if we were to get a brand deal with like delta and they were like we want to fly you somewhere and you make content but you're flying on our vintage 1950s plane you doing it no no no shot i thought you were gonna make it something easy like get in the cockpit i'm like i'm dying to be in a oh yeah that would be cool to see a cockpit i'm waiting for a fucking pilot to recognize us. Yeah, like, give me my wing. Oh, my sister was on a plane.

35:04They went to the Bahamas, and the kids got little wings. I was like, I don't even know they did that anymore.

35:09Joe Santagato:I got one of the, like, air attendants. What are they called? Flight attendants. Yeah, that's it. One of the flight attendants recognized me and gave me a bag of candy with, like, a little, like, United pin on it. And it's, like, the United logo. A bag of candy? Yeah. Were you with your children? solo dolo baby wow by my sizzy that's nice yeah but oh man if a pilot was just like you want to go check out oh my god dude i love the show we listen to it when we're flying first of all i wouldn't that actually would make me feel worse i mean they're not even doing anything somehow it would still make me feel not good imagine they're flying the plane and then they just hear my roar and they're just like fuck well they're not flying the plane i know I would like to go in there And just like keep my hands in my pocket And just go Whoa I'd get in the seat Put the hat on Really?

36:06Hell yeah I don't think you could take pictures in there Can you? Probably not Didn't someone get in trouble for this? Charlie Sheen I was gonna say Was it Katy Perry? No it was Charlie Sheen

36:17Joe Santagato:Katy Perry has been Randomly getting in trouble for stuff lately He was like hammered And like high off coke And they let him in the cockpit Well hold on What? The first two parts were probably why he got in trouble. No, no, he got in trouble. Well, the pilot got in trouble because they let him, and he took, so here's the story with Charlie Sheen, is that he was like high on coke and like drunk or something like that. He was on the plane. They recognized him, and then they let him in the cockpit, and they put him in the seat, and then they took the autopilot off. So now Charlie Sheen is driving the plane, and he goes, and I took the wheel, and I just went like this, and the plane moved a little bit, and the pilot was like fire.

36:55got in a lot of trouble for that.

36:57Joe Santagato:Well, yeah, absolutely. I mean, wasn't there also the story of him on a private jet where he was just like, how much do I have to pay in damages to smoke cigarettes? And they were like$10 ,000, and he was just ripping cigs. He's like, I'll do it. I'm Charlie Sheen. I think Tom Segura told that story, and crazy. I can't. Name a celebrity that this is dual-ended, double-sided. You know, before you get into the double-sided, Let's get into something else real quick. We do have a new sponsor for today, and you're looking at it, ladies and gentlemen. This is Angry Orchard, okay? This is a hard cider, all right?

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40:15Joe Santagato:Love that. You know what else I love? Patreon. Oh, wow. Patreon.com slash the basement yard is the best way to continue to support us. We love and thank every single one of you that made March one of the most insane months that we've ever had doing this show. And a part of that insanity has been on Patreon. So go over to patreon.com slash the basement yard today. You sign up for that first tier, you get exclusive episodes. Excuse me, these weekly episodes. I'm a little dirty bitch. These weekly episodes. I made a mistake. Whatever. I spit. Get these weekly episodes one week in advance. Then in that second tier, you sign up for that second tier.

40:54Joe Santagato:You get exclusive episodes every single Friday. And don't worry. Don't be like, all right, now I'm on Patreon. Now I want all this stuff. Where all the new stuff? anything that's back cataloged, exclusive Patreon episodes, exclusive video drops are there for your joy. Okay. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. And if you want to sign up and if you want to save yourself some money, go do it on a web browser. Okay. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard, type it into your little web browser, whatever you use, whether it be Safari, the other ones, and then you go to that website and you save yourself some money when you signed up if you use the smart app we're gonna have to pay our tech overlord lizard people and we don't want to do that extra right so save yourself some money patreon.com slash the basement yard thank you guys for an incredible month the support has been overwhelming we love you we thank you and we'll keep giving you what you want which apparently is more of us back to it i thought you came up with don't get angry get angry orchard i mean i did i thought it was gonna be like that like Romeo on TikTok moment where it's like, Dr.

41:57Joe Santagato:Pepper, baby, it's good and nice. I really did try to open that. Yeah, you really, I could see the dent from here. Well, you're supposed to use a bottle opener. There are people that use their eyes and shit like that, which is crazy. Yeah, but they're, you know. Yeah, crazy. I was going to ask a double-ended question. Right. Let's imagine everyone has the same exact training the training is not like they're the best in the world but they are adequately trained to fly a plane name a person a celebrity an athlete whatever that you would be the most confident in landing that plane and then the inverse the least confident in landing that you just said we're all have the same training yeah but i mean you still have to take into account who the individual is.

42:51Joe Santagato:Like, for instance, I would really trust

42:58Joe Santagato:definitely not you. Are you kidding me? You'd be hammered. Me? Yeah. I could land it. I would really trust... Who would I trust to land this plane? Matt Damon. That's a great pick. That's a really good pick. Didn't he go to Harvard? Might have. Denzel Washington? That's a good one, too. He landed that plane drunk, didn't he? In that movie? Tom Hanks? I was thinking Tom Hanks when I was trying to come up with someone new. Is that a boat or a plane? No, that was Captain Sully Sullenberger. Oh, yeah, yeah. Whatever his name was. Or maybe I would just choose a pilot. Yeah, but that's not what the question is.

43:39Joe Santagato:Right. Samuel Jackson dealt with snakes on a plane. He did deal with snakes on a plane. I'm thinking, though, who is responsible enough to be an awesome plane lander? like gives off responsible too. Daveed Diggs. You know who Daveed Diggs is? No. From Hamilton. Oh, yeah. He would be. I feel like he would be good at landing a plane. How did you? He just looks like he's just got his life together. Idris Elba. That's a good one. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Ant? I think Bill Byrd is a pilot. Yeah, he flies helicopters, I think. I would better than. he said we all have the same training. Oh.

44:21Joe Santagato:Yeah. It doesn't matter the helicopter or a plane or anything. Everyone has the same. I would also, I would put Bill Burr on my, I'm a little worried here. Why? Because I can see him like just being pissed about something. Like he's flying to like Buffalo and he's just like, fuck this place. Yeah. You know what I mean? So who's the least? Well, Charlie Sheen's up there. And I'm talking 2006 Charlie Sheen. I'm not talking, you know, 2026. I put my dad up there just because I've been in the car with him a lot, and I know that he likes to do everything except drive. Yeah? You don't like your dad as a driver?

45:00He's a good driver. We've never been in an accident, or at least I've never been in an accident with him. But he does do everything but drive. Like, he, like, looks for stuff, he talks, he's back to you, checking for whatever, and I'm like, just, really.

45:13Joe Santagato:You know what I mean? Yeah. I would not trust

45:20Joe Santagato:I would say either of the Paul brothers Why? I don't know McGregor Yeah That's a good answer I don't think I'd trust Conor McGregor I'm not No way Reasons to not trust him In any capacity Still applies Still applies Oh I would trust Morgan Freeman a lot He's getting up there He's getting up there He's getting up there Yeah, but he still has it. Yeah, but I know. But, like, you know, bad turbulence. I don't even know how old he is. I wouldn't trust, like, Pacino. No. No, he's dead. He's getting there. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Like, he's, like, dead. I was like, do you know something I don't? No, no, no.

45:59Like, he's, you know. He's knocking. Yeah. Morgan Freeman is 88. That's wild. He was born in 1937. That's crazy. Dude, he's not that much younger than my grandmother. You know what's crazy? I heard recently who's dead dead you know

46:16Joe Santagato:yeah she's gone yeah like filthy like gone filthy's crazy she hasn't seen his last like 10 movies though oh who Morgan Freeman's yeah I think Morgan Freeman has probably done more than 10 movies since your grandmother died since 2012 you think pull up the filmography babe no one cares that much yeah when was Bruce Almighty that's all that matters that was in 2005 I believe so she saw that one I mean And everyone saw Bruce Almighty. That was a great movie. That's true. What I was trying to say is I saw a thing that was just like, Samuel L. Jackson didn't get his breakout role until he was in his 40s.

46:55Joe Santagato:I'm like, how old is Samuel L. Jackson? He's old, right? I mean, he's in his 70s, I believe. Bro, he also has one of the most impressive filmographies. Samuel L. Jackson? Yeah, he does. He's like in all the Quentin Tarantino movies So those alone Those are good 77 Wow It's a real shame that he's a weird fuck He's like doubling down on how weird he is He's just like a weird fuck But the movies are good But he's a weird fuck Jackson or Tino? Tino Oh yeah, he's weird Oh yeah, Samuel L. Jackson Not only do I not think he's weird I wouldn't call him weird Because he'd come here and beat the brakes off him He's like a good dude I think he's like a philanthropist also.

47:39Joe Santagato:Yeah, I think he was one of the pallbearers at MLK's Martin Luther King Jr.'s funeral. What? I think so. How? He's 77, dude. That's insane. That was 60 years ago? Can we fact check any of this? I'm trying. This seems like an intense... It was Samuel L. Jackson. Maybe I'm mixing him up with somebody else. He was an usher at his funeral. He was an usher at his funeral. That's still like... Shows you how recent all that stuff was. Pull up Samuel L. Jackson's filmography on the screen here. I mean, of course all the Avengers movies. I can go on forever. Oh, wow, yeah. I also, low-key, the Kingsman movies, I liked them.

48:28Joe Santagato:He was only in the first one. You know what movie he was shady in that people forget? Jurassic Park. That's right, he was in Jurassic Park. Yep. Jango, Pulp Fiction. Oh, my God. Jango's such a crazy movie. Unbreakable. I forgot about Unbreakable. Mr. Glass. They call him Mr. Glass. The Kingsman movies. Jackie Brown. Goodfellas. Oh, my God. He had, like, a brief cameo in Goodfellas. But still, like, look at these movies that he's in. He was in that. Die Hard, right? Die Hard. He was in Die Hard? No, that's Die Hard with a vengeance. That's not. Oh, yeah. Deep Blue Sea? Wait, he was in Coming to America?

49:09Joe Santagato:I love Deep Blue Sea. Bro, Deep Blue Sea is so fucking good. Really? But it's so bad, too. Well, that's why, yeah. Isn't like Michael Rappaport like a scientist in that or something? Oh, cool, Jay's a chef. It's great. Yeah, he saves his bird. That's right! I remember that shit. Yo, that movie's so sick. Triple X? Bro, I loved that movie. I don't think I ever saw that one. Kill Bills. He's Frozone. He is Frozone. A lot of people. He's in Kongskull Island? Yeah. I don't even know if I saw that. That was a good one. I like Kongskull Island. SWAT. Low-key good movie. I don't remember that being good.

49:44Joe Santagato:The Sum of All Fears. That was good. Oh, he's in - Wait, Sum of All Fears. That's not him. That's not him. He's in the Garfield movie? The new one, yeah. He plays Garfield's dad. It's like Chris Pratt as Garfield. And his father, Samuel L. Jackson. Damn, dude. Look how many fucking movies he's done. Yeah, that's right. He's Mace Windu. Yeah. Purple Lightsaber! Dude, so sick. Coach Carter? You remember Coach Carter? Wow! Dude, what a movie. That movie is low-key incredible. I think I saw an interview recently that said that he got mad at the cast because there's like a party scene in that movie and they were actually like drinking and having a party and he was like upset with them because they weren't taking it serious.

50:25Joe Santagato:Which, I get it. Look at that. The films in which he has appeared have collectively grossed more than$27 billion worldwide. And he's still not the highest grossing. No, he's not anymore. Making him the highest grossing actor of all time. I saw someone else. Who? I'm going to have you guys guess. I know who it is. You know who it is? Yeah. It's an actress. Yeah. I mean, it's a Tris? It's a Tris. If that narrows it down. But don't say it. Don't say it. Is she older? Than Samuel? Or like around that age? No. No? So she's young? Fairly young? Yes. Well, fairly young. Definitely young. Yeah, yeah. But I'm saying, like, not Zendaya age.

51:05Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I figured she was, like, probably got to be at least 40 or something like that. Okay. Okay.

51:13Joe Santagato:Um, think of the biggest movies of all time. Just start naming them. Start naming them. Scarlett Johansson. Okay. Margot Robbie? Definitely not. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I think. I swung with Barbie there. The answer is going to blow your mind. It's like someone I would not expect. Yes. But like once you like are like, oh, oh, yeah. Jennifer Lawrence? No. Not as mainstream. I mean, that sounds disrespectful. Uma Thurman. No, but you're going in the right track a little bit. Kerry Washington. That's not it. No, but you're also kind of going in the right track. Halle Berry. No, no. You know, like Avatar, Marvel.

51:53Really? Zoe Saldana?

51:55Joe Santagato:Yeah, dude. Yeah. What? What? Oh, I guess she's in fucking, what's it called? She's in the Avengers. Yep. She's in the Avatar movies. I think those alone. Like Zoe Saldana. She was in, wasn't she in a, what was that road trip movie that she was in? Huh? She was in like a road trip movie with like Britney Spears, wasn't she? What the fuck? Guardians. Whoa, whoa. That might not be accurate. This is less. She's officially right there, right there, right there. Where? On the right. This? Yes. Yeah, I saw reports that she is. This says that she is. Has taken over the world with 15.4. Well, this is some...

52:38What are we doing here?

52:40Joe Santagato:We're seeing conflicting reports here. Maybe this is a domestic. I thought I saw worldwide. No, they're even talking about how... Now Stan's... He's third. Oh, I'm all right. So whatever... I guess I see that Google AI that you were using. Gemini lied to you. AI is an actor at all time.

53:04Joe Santagato:But yeah, dude. Like, Zoe Saldana has the Avatar movies. Is it Saldana? Yeah. There's an Enya? There's an Enya over the N. Type in her filmography. I want to see what she's in. I mean, hold on. She's in the Guardians movies, the Avengers movies. She's in the Avatar movies. You ever see the Losers? I know those. I think she's in the Losers. Oh, Emilia Perez. Emilia Perez. She won the Oscar for that. Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah, that's right. Oh, fuck. She was in that, too. Oh, Crossroads. Maybe that's what you're thinking of? Crossroads, yeah. How the fuck did you think of a 2002 movie that no one knows, Frank?

53:39Joe Santagato:The Losers. Okay. I never saw that one, but I know that movie. I don't know most of these movies. It's a good movie. I'm pretty sure she played Nina Simone in the movie Nina. Scroll more. Oh, yeah. Star Trek. Star Trek. But they were not as big as you would have thought. Yeah, this feels like an Avatar cheat. Avatar Marvel. It's Avatar. I mean, Avatar, I think, is like three movies, and it's like$6 billion. Yeah, it's crazy. And then Marvel is up there, but they have more movies. You know, I've never seen a frame of an Avatar movie. I saw the first one, and I vehemently refused to watch any of the others because I just didn't get it.

54:17Joe Santagato:Like, I got it, but I was just like, this isn't what it needs to, like, the hype is making it. Yeah, yeah. You know? Because it's like, yeah, the biggest movie ever. And you're like, eh. Yeah, like it felt like it was like I remember the first movie like watching. I was like, whoa, this is stunning. Like it's beautiful. But then like there were other parts where I was just like, this is kind of stupid. Is it poop? It's poop. Like the thing that they have to get is called unobtainium. And it's just like be a little more on the nose. Yeah, let's avoid that. Like, come on. Like use some different words there.

54:49Joe Santagato:It's like we came up with the name of it. That's like if our children, like, and you cannot obtain this precious mineral. What's it called? It's untatable and it's like uranium. Unobtainium. That's so dumb. Are there any other movies that, besides Rage Baiting Me with the Mask, that are, like, well-known, great movies that just, for you, you're like, eh. Um. Hmm. I have. one for sure what you're gonna hate me for this one i was like not all like i didn't think interstellar was all that great i know you love that movie i i disagree i think that interstellar is a good movie i think that some people i'm not saying it's a bad movie i didn't think it's overrated i was just like all right see i feel like interstellar the problem with that movie is the same problem with The Wolf of Wall Street.

55:47I think they're both great movies. It's just that when the hardos come in and identify so much with it, it just ruins it. Yeah, because The Wolf of Wall Street is a great movie, but the people who are like, and it's like you go to work and this is who you are now, it's just nerdy.

56:09Joe Santagato:But if anything, them doing that, it highlights the message of the film. like oh people don't get it yeah yeah but that's not that's not the movie's fault i know it's not the movie's fault but i'm saying like the movie gets a bad rep because the people who like the movie are like dweebs i mean i like i love that movie i'm not a great movie i'm not a dweeb no i know i'm saying say i'm not a dweeb i'm saying the people who like think that that they are jordan bell ford i am jordan bell ford yeah and now it's like you know it's just corny but But I feel like Interstellar, like every guy on Hinge, like I've seen it on TikTok with girls saying, like every guy on Hinge says Interstellar's favorite movie.

56:49And it's like, all right, now it's becoming like, now it's a little corny, you know? But I like the movie. I think it's good. I can see how you're like, meh.

56:57Joe Santagato:I just felt like, I was like, okay, it's good. But then again, like I'm also a grumpy little bitch where people would be like, oh my God. And I'm just like, mm-mm-mm. Yeah. You know why I kind of felt that way about Tenet? I never saw Tenet. it's good and I can recognize that it's good, but at the same time, I'm like, there's too much of this going on. I think a lot of people talk about Tenet, Interstellar, Christopher Nolan, like that's a movie where he was just like super overindulgent. Like it was like... Dude, I blink and I'm like, the fuck is this now? Yeah, it's like... And now it's backwards and forward, but you're at the front and then ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

57:33Joe Santagato:Like my understanding of the movie is that a lot of the criticism has just been that it's just too much movie. Too crazy. It's too much movie to movie. Yeah, I don't like it. You know, that's why I like something simple. What's a movie that you could watch, like, all the time? Like, you'll throw it on every single time. Or, like, what's, like, your top three funniest movies? Funniest movies. I'm going to remove the mask because I feel like that's an easy answer. You think that's, like, the funniest movie? I, whether it be because I have rose-tinted glasses on when I watch it, I do think it's an incredible movie.

58:09Joe Santagato:Okay. forgetting Sarah Marshall. I can watch that. That's a good answer. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is, I love that movie. So perfectly funny. Like, I think it is like a perfect movie. It is so good. And like, I'll even throw in super bad. Like, yeah, there are parts of it that don't age so well, but like, it is so fucking good. Yeah. Um, and then a perfectly funny movie. I mean, okay. Also just friends. I think Just Friends is so fucking Christmas movie It absolutely is a Christmas movie Every part of that movie is funny There are certain parts that are a little Anna Faris is so fucking good in that Dude she's so good in that movie I love Anna Faris What about you?

58:56Joe Santagato:And don't give the three that I gave I'm trying to think of other movies Because you took super bad in Forgetting Sarah Marshall Also a movie that I just think is incredible Maybe the funniest one I've ever seen Is Wedding Crashers Yeah, Wedding Crashers is up there. Good answer. It's like one of the funniest movies. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping Lemon on top and Lime in the shadows. Their Lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it.

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59:52Joe Santagato:See, Ben Stiller movies are also very funny to me Dude, Tropic Thunder Tropic Thunder Is so It is Heavyweights? Oh my god Miles was watching that the other day Really? And I was just like, good on you, Miles Yeah, Heavyweights is a funny movie, man Dude Dude, fucking Tropic Thunder. And it's such like a thing to talk about now where it's just like, why is that okay? I'll move you in. And yes, I agree. Like they probably shouldn't make that movie today. But like it is so fucking funny because it is a commentary on actors. You know what I mean? Like it's not like it is at points, but like it is more about.

1:00:31Joe Santagato:Oh, there's certainly some stuff. I know, but I'm saying, like, it is just a commentary on, like, the industry. Like, those, like, hyper intense, like, Daniel Day-Lewis method actors that, like, I saw one thing, like, a story that he did a movie where he played a paraplegic, I think. But, like, they made him, he, like, wouldn't walk on set. He had to be Carrie or some shit like that. I heard that for There Will Be Blood, he, like, didn't shower the whole time. I think that was Gangs of New York. Oh, maybe that one. Which, both good movies. I love Gangs of New York Dude I just watched Marty Supreme Have you watched it yet?

1:01:05Joe Santagato:No It's a movie brother What does that mean? Correct I already know it's a movie It's good? Bro it's like It's uncut gems But like a little dialed up Why did you say that When we were talking about Gangs of New York? I don't know Because he's in Gangs of New York Yo Well because Gangs of New York Takes place in like The 1800s in New York and Marty Supreme in like the 50s. Oh, okay, okay. You know? Yeah, Gangs of New York is great. Love that. Yeah, he's a sloppy fucking mess in that movie. He's a stinky, like, greasy fucker. Oh, my God. And in There Will Be Blood, too. I've never seen it. Yeah, it's a...

1:01:47I gotta watch that. That's a really,

1:01:49Joe Santagato:really good movie. My boy! No, what's that from? That's from Harry Potter. Well, that's also from There Will Be Blood. Yeah, yeah. You know. But I was thinking... My son! My boy! I think the famous one from that is the milkshake part. Well, yeah. I drink your milkshake.

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1:05:05Joe Santagato:Love that. So the question I was going to ask you is, I don't know if you saw, but the prosthetic butt, like prosthetic rhino butt from Ace Ventura when nature calls is on auction. I was going to say one of my answers is Ace Ventura 2. Really? One of the funniest movies you've seen? I feel like number one is better. He said two. Two. Is that... That's the Rhino? The Rhino, yeah. When Nature Calls, yeah. I feel like one is better. One is the football. Yes. I mean, there's some... There's also some stuff that hasn't aged well in one. It's pretty transphobic. Is it? Yeah. You don't remember the whole, like...

1:05:44Joe Santagato:It's a big twist of the movie? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's right there, brother. I forgot. right there. I put it on for miles one day and he was watching it. And like, I forgot that there's like a full on sex scene in that first movie. I don't even remember. It's like him and Courtney Cox, isn't it? That is Courtney Cox. Who's that? That's not anyone. Courtney Cox. But, um, are there any like movie props that you would just open up the checkbook for? Like if you saw that they were on display, you'd be like, I'll have that. I don't know, but I just saw a clip of Ed Sheeran saying that he like collects, these things like he said he just bought Edward Scissorhands hands oh he has a Dr.

1:06:28Evil suit that's cool he's got Batman and Robin from Batman and Robin the movie like their suits for fall okay from the George Clooney one I think okay um I wasn't gonna ask but I'm glad you

1:06:41Joe Santagato:specified I think I mean the ruby slippers that's like an easy one but like that's on the I think that's on display at the smithsonian or something like that in dc maybe oh give me the golden snitch oh that's a good answer you know what i'm talking about just like the little fucking oh i want the the what's that shit called i don't know the wand that they're all after that the elder one the elder one the elder one wasn't as cool i'd like i'd like uh voldemort's wand that was the elder wand no well technically he never owned it because he wasn't the one that had disarmed That was the one he was using, though.

1:07:15Joe Santagato:He was using it, but it was breaking in his hand because he had not technically been the owner. So when you say Voldemort's wand, which one are you referring to? The one that has the hook on the end that he holds like a fucking, like a whore. You know what I'm talking about? It has, like, the hook on the end. Yeah! That's what I'm talking about. Oh, it looks like a cane. That shit is cool as hell. You could have that for ten bucks. And there's only two left if you want one. No. I mean, yeah, I'm completely okay. Oh, it's Halloween. It's for Halloween. Also, I would want, didn't, like, expensive.

1:07:44Do you remember that TikTok I showed you?

1:07:48Joe Santagato:Where it's, like, fucking, like, kiss, marry, kill, or whatever that. Yeah. And it's just like. Just a little pause at the time.

1:08:00Joe Santagato:But any others that you could think of? The Ghostbusters pack would be pretty good. Proton pack? Proton pack. Where are you on Ghostbusters? I've only seen the first one a few times, and it's fine. I was a big fan of the second one I like Bill Murray especially back then watching the movies that he was in then I think that he's funny I know one that would scratch both itches you have I didn't even know I had one let alone two the T-Rex I'm not even going to go that big because that would be way too expensive the cane with the mosquito amber in it from Jurassic Park that would be cool because you're getting a fossil Well, and you're getting a movie prompt.

1:08:43But it's not real. I'd rather get a mosquito.

1:08:45Joe Santagato:Like a real mosquito, Amber? Are we allowed to own those? Yeah, I don't see why not. I think the science in that movie has been very debunked. Okay. Like, I don't think you can drill into a fucking 65 million year old mosquito and get any DNA out of it. That's fair. Do they have, can you actually buy like mosquitoes in amber? I have no idea. Can you just buy amber? That would be really cool. What's amber? Amber is like solidified like tree sap from like ancient times That would be cool. Like you can buy like petrified wood. I know that. What is that? You don't know petrified wood? Not really. It's like ancient wood that has been burnt and like charred basically and it becomes almost like glass like What?

1:09:34Joe Santagato:Never heard of that? Like glass like see through? No but like Like, it's kind of a similar, like, hardness and, like, texture to it. I really, yeah, no, I don't know. I might be fucking this up. When I think of petrified, I think back to Harry Potter. Yes. I mean, you could buy petrified, you know, moaning myrtle if you really want. Yeah. Ooh, having Harry Potter stuff would be cool. I mean, you can just go to Universal and get them. No, no, no, like the actual. Oh, like you want, like, the real shit. Yeah. You don't want any of the fake shit. I mean, dude, if I was an actor, you're like Daniel Radcliffe, and you're doing Harry Potter, I'm taking mad shit.

1:10:12Yeah, I mean, they probably would get in trouble. Nah, bro, I'm Daniel Radcliffe.

1:10:16Joe Santagato:I own this shit. Technically, you don't. Bro. I mean, I— Sue me. They will. All right. And guess who will win? The major motion picture studio that is going to— Nah, dude. Yeah. You're not going to take me down, bro. I made you all this money. Chill. I don't think that's how that works. I think so. I think you have some bargaining chip. I mean, maybe some. Just like a few things. I'm not saying take, you know, whatever. Voldemort's nose off his face. I would want the actual owl that uses Hedwig. Like, then you get an owl, and you get a fucking cool thing from a movie. I would get the Nimbus. Oh, Nimbus 2000?

1:10:54Joe Santagato:Or the Firebolt. That one was cool. Yeah, that was cool. Cool name. I mean, I'm a Nimbus guy. If they sold those and they were real, would you get up there? Absolutely. Would you? One million percent. But you don't like flying in planes. Because I'm not in control. You don't know how to fly a plane. You're damn right. You don't know how to fly a broom. I would learn. If I'm getting a broom, I'm learning how to fly a broom. It would be cool. Dude, I would just be like, yo, I'm on my way into work. Probably so cold. I mean, it would be a little cold. It would be a little cold, but I would dress appropriately.

1:11:34Joe Santagato:Yeah. Dude, are you kidding me? Yeah. That would be cool. You think they have a seatbelt? No. Have you not watched Harry Potter? But you have to add one. Why? Because you're flying on a broom. I mean, if... Also, think about how you're sitting on it. Wouldn't that hurt? Yeah, my nuts would be split in half. The Nimbus or the Firebolt, I don't remember which one, had little foot stirrups on it. So you can kind of take a little bit of pressure off of your coop. Yeah, but my fucking balls are getting beat up, dude. Also, I'm getting chipped. Don't talk about my balls. I didn't say anything. Also, just leaning on a broom.

1:12:10Joe Santagato:If anything, a broom is more well-equipped to deal with your balls than most other things you ride on. You can just have one nut go one way, one nut go the other. That's not the most comfortable way to have my nuts. Why? Because they're a package deal. They'd rather be together hugging each other. All right, so put them on one side, and then the broom will just hold it against your leg. Still pressing up against me. I mean, if you got good enough nuts, it'll just press up against, like, in between. Tell you what, I'd rather imagine a carpet. You can lay down, bro. You can lay down. Or hold on to it like this.

1:12:44Joe Santagato:I feel more in control when I have the thing in my grasp like this. You know what I mean? Hold on to the edge of the carpet like this. And you can just, like... Yeah, but, like, you, like, so what am I going to do? Actually, yeah. You don't even fly it. You just tell the carpet. He's a guy. You tell him, bro, get me there. Get me going. Let's just go, dude. Yeah, it's like having an Uber driver. That's a really good point. And you can kind of talk to it. You know, it has a personality. All right. All right. Here we are. Here we are. Now we're talking. Would you rather have a magic carpet, a magic broom?

1:13:15Joe Santagato:I realize you didn't think further than those two. Or a DeLorean. Does it go back in time? Yeah. Yeah, but then you got to get back here. It's lightning. Easy. I'm taking the fucking carpet every time. I think I'm taking the broom. I kind of like the steering. You're passing up a literal time machine. A literal time machine. What do I need to go back to? I'm fine. Think about this. If you were to go back in time, how cool is that actually? Unless you're going to do something that's going to benefit the world, which I am incapable of doing most things. Well, it also depends on what logic of time travel and time affecting the future that you subscribe to.

1:13:58Joe Santagato:If we're going based off of the back to the future rules, you could actually do more damage than you think. You know what I mean? But even so, even without that, like, how cool is it to go back in time? Like, what am I going to do? What are you going to do? Like, you want to go back and see what? A dinosaur, then what? No, I wouldn't want to get stuck there. But that's what I mean. So what would you even do with a time machine? That's what I said. Then you're stuck there and you need to get back. I'm assuming I have two trips. Take as many trips as you want. What are you doing in the past? I don't know.

1:14:28Joe Santagato:I mean, can I bring... Think about that. Hold on, wait. Hold on. He's onto something here. The sports almanac. I mean, that's not a bad idea. That was going to be my question. Can I bring stuff back with me? The Sports Almanac? Yeah, you don't remember Back to the Future 2? The winner of every sports team for like 100 years. I've never seen any of the Back to the Future movies. Well, that's why he's arguing like this. Well, no, if anything, his points would only be strengthened by watching those movies because there's shenanigans and whimsy about because of the time travel. I just don't think that time travel backwards would be actually that cool that I would pass up a magic carpet.

1:15:06Joe Santagato:I mean, you would be able to reap the benefits of it financially. For instance, go back in time and pick up like 30 Pokemon first edition Shadowless booster boxes. Bring them back with you. You're sitting on a couple Millie, baby. so we do know that the delorean can go to the future does it right yes it does in the second one he hasn't seen it it's called back to the future so like it goes back and forth yeah but if you're back then yeah but that was the title of the first movie they they then the second one was back to the future but if you're going back to the future that just means the present because that would mean that like you were in the future because of the present you're right they do go to the future they do go to the future they go to the distant past the back to the future name is in reference to in the first movie they go to the past and they need to get back to their timeline which is the future of where they currently are even the future being able to time travel to the future what can you do there you're basically an idiot i mean no he's he's right about the sports almanac that's a big thing and that's a part of of you want to be spoiled you want to you want to know who won the world series it's not about knowing it's about being able to financially capitalize on it.

1:16:20Joe Santagato:I'm good with that. If they're at like the beginning of the season, like remember a couple years ago when the Washington Nationals won the World Series? But Frank, even if you have all of the money, then what? You still don't have a magic carpet. How long do you think you're going to keep your magic carpet once people see you have a magic carpet? Yeah, exactly. People are going to want that bitch. They can't get it. How can they not? You're not a magic person. You don't suddenly have fucking like security. You don't have the genie. Okay, you have a magic card. They can take that. Boom. Well, they wouldn't know I'm going back and forth because there's no proof.

1:16:47And you would also blow that up. And they also wouldn't know how to use the DeLorean. So the magic carpet is a person. It's sentient. It could be like, I'm not flying for you. I'm not a carpet.

1:16:56Joe Santagato:Well, you would have to build a really good rapport with this carpet. Yeah, we're fucking boys. If we're arguing like going to the future and reaping some sort of financial benefits. You're with me. I'm with you. Okay. If we're talking about just purely living in the... Because like you also need to hit 88 in order to get the DeLorean to go. And that's not necessarily easy everywhere you go. I mean. I could get it to an 88. Think about it like this. If I put a DeLorean outside right now, you're not going anywhere, buddy. I mean, once you hit the highway. Yeah. What highway in New York will you open it up to hit 88?

1:17:34Joe Santagato:4 a.m., any of them. That's unsafe, Joey. I mean, yes. You know what's easier? Flying a magic carpet. Yeah, but if you watch, I guess, you know what? If you watch the original Aladdin, they go from like Agrabah to like Greece and like somewhere else very quickly. So the speed of the magic carpet is pretty fast. That's what I'm saying. But also if I have... And it saved his life. But also if I have a magic broom, magic could also exist elsewhere. The implication is that if this broom is magic... No, that's not the implication. Also, if I jump off the Empire State Building, my magic carpet could just capture me.

1:18:14I mean, you're... Why are you jumping off? I'm saying that's an option. Like, your magic carpet is like your bodyguard. You can't fall. And I have the option to go see a dinosaur. That does stuff. Congrats! But this is what I'm saying with time travel. You go back and actually think about the utility of this, right? If you have a time machine forever, and I have a magic carpet forever, in my experience, you can go back and then you can, like, invest in Apple or whatever the fuck you want to do, and then you have all the money in the world. That's a great point. And what are you going to do with it, though?

1:18:45What is that? Bro, I have a magic carpet. Do you know, like, what I could do with that? I would pay people to steal your magic carpet. They can't get it.

1:18:54Joe Santagato:Well, also, here's the thing. You go back in time to the time of the dinosaurs. The terrain has not yet had the effects of humankind on it. Where are you going to drive to open that bitch up to 88? That's also fair. Just open land. I'll put on off-road tires. Off-road tires. So you think with off-road tires, you'll be able to get to 88 doing this all the time? So you're both in on the DeLorean just for financial gain? I honestly, I am kind of standing my ground on the Magic broom. That's the worst one. I don't think it's the worst one. How is that the worst one? Easily the worst one. Because it hurts your balls.

1:19:30Joe Santagato:Guess what? Guess what you can't do on your Magic carpet? Guess what you can't do? Have your girlfriend with you. You're damn right I can. Oh, yeah. Get on this thing. We'll both sit on it. Get it even more uncomfortable. What is more romantic than being able to be held by your partner behind you and they're looking over your shoulder and you're fucking bobbing and weaving? I'll tell you what. A fucking picnic in the sky on the way to Greece. Yeah, but first of all, that would be incredibly cold. Okay. The air pressure is significantly less up there. So what, you're up there eating grapes and fucking cured meats at minus 30 degrees?

1:20:05Who's going to 35 ,000 feet? We go right here. Can't risk getting hit by a plane But then also

1:20:11Joe Santagato:But then also Guess what You need to hold on to a magic carpet Guess what a magic carpet No you don't Guess what a magic carpet Go watch the movie No you don't Guess what a magic carpet Famously does not have Handles brother Go watch the movie Yes Aladdin is like this Yeah when it's intense But when he's flying with Jasmine They're just like And they're just chilling And fucking falling in love They are chilling. They are falling in love. Sideway shimmering. Splendid. Tell me, princess. Now where did you last? Let your heart decide. And it's when. I'm sorry, guys. I can open your eyes. Take you wonder, pie.

1:20:58Joe Santagato:Wonder. Over, sideways, and under. This is Disney. Oh, yeah. They'll fuck us up. They will hammer us. It's a weekly. It's a cover. It's a cover. I know, but you guys are doing really good. I like it. Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. Yeah, that's right. If the Backstreet Boys are going to fucking bend us over for some money, then damn right. If this happens again, I swear to God. Damn right, Disney's going to. Thank you for stepping in because that would have lasted another 10 minutes. See, this is why he earns his keep here. Yeah. I'm taking the magic carpet, though. Let's not be crazy.

1:21:24No. Because guess what? Watch this.

1:21:26Joe Santagato:Watch this. Watch this. All right? I'm going to do a little thing here. Yeah, yeah. I forgot I kept this under here. Watch this. You're getting thrown off. You know what you're not bucking me off of? A fucking magic broom, baby. I'm holding on for dear life. Like this. You think you're breaking that grip? No. Don't you have to learn how to fly the broom? Yeah, I'll learn that. Yeah, I'm not even flying the carpet. Yeah, he's chilling. So you're at the will of somebody else. You are willing. I know how you are. You're willing to give up. In such a vulnerable state, you're giving up control to this sentient carpet.

1:22:05Joe Santagato:What do you think flying in a plane is? The exact same thing, and you've expressed that you don't like that for that reason. But I do it. You do it, but... So you're in a significantly more vulnerable state when you're on a magic carpet. Yeah. And you're just going to give up and just hope that this collection of threading is going to not just fucking lose its mind and kill you one day? Yeah, it's magic. You know how you're in ultimate control? If this thing isn't sentient and you have it in your own control. Frank, as soon as that thing decides it's not magic anymore, You're on a broomstick in the sky, moron.

1:22:36Joe Santagato:You can't make up shit like that. You just did! No, I'm presenting a potential hypothetical. There is no world in which any of these stop being magical because you have the exact same argument. If the carpet is magic, that means that it is the magic carpet that we know from Aladdin. And you believe that this magic carpet is just 100 % completely neutral good all the time. Yes. No chaotic elements to it. When was it bad? It was There were some points Where it was a little cheeky In those movies You know It's being a little funny And silly Not when it came to Aladdin It did save him a couple times Multiple Mine's science You guys have their Latin magic Yours is the dumbest Yeah I mean actually No He's a broom It's a broom Yours is the worst answer His doesn't make sense Yeah yours is a car From the 1980s If science doesn't give up Then the transmission is going Are you fucking kidding me It's true It's true It's true dude dude, I can go back in time.

1:23:36Joe Santagato:You're going to need a new car. You're going to need to get the tires fucking redone, dude. Imagine this too. What happens if you get a flat tire in the Mesozoic era? Bro, who's cooler? That'd be a problem. Who's cooler, right? You pulling up to the bar in that car with a fucking mad scientist in the fucking passenger seat, by the way, or me standing and just landing with my carpet. it and then it takes off you're gonna fly standing ew dude not always that is disgusting when i'm arriving also it turns into stairs i walk down it what if i walk out of the car with einstein or something i'm gonna be like who the fuck is that yeah what is that going to do for the normal person today oh look cool einstein we have eight million of him or freddie mercury that would that would be cool only if he's singing though of course he's singing that's the agreement So I'm kind of...

1:24:31Joe Santagato:Hey! Are you... Can you bring people to the future that are coming back? They do that in Bill and Ted. Yeah. It probably messed up some things. Not if you bring them back to the exact spot they left. I mean, again, it depends on what logic of time travel you subscribe to. You also assume that Freddie Mercury is going to be like, yeah, sure, I'll get in, kid. I mean, there are ways that you can get Freddie Mercury there. There are ways. Cocaine? Cocaine. He'll get in. Orgies. He's not getting in. Orgies. Just tell, yo, you won't even believe the orgies they're having nowadays. Nah, I'm taking the magic carpet.

1:25:06Joe Santagato:What's cooler? You showing up on fucking carpet or me pulling in like a fucking BMX, like on a fucking magic broom? Yeah, me being like, yo, that's fire. And then people are going to be like, what are you supposed to be? Elphaba? You made it cooler. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. That was the standard. That's what I was saying. Could you imagine me wearing a flowy black gown on this magic fucking broom and I go to the top and I'm like, If you can't find me, look to the western sky. Dude, what? The government's shooting you out of the sky. Yes, they are. However. That's what I'm saying about your carpet.

1:25:47I'd be low.

1:25:49Joe Santagato:You think they're just going to be like, we can't find him. He's just right there. I'm underneath the radar. Yeah, but guess what everyone has nowadays. phones brother yeah they're finding all of us especially you dumbass what's gonna happen when you go back to the past and there's no more gasoline i wouldn't i would monitor it properly yeah but you would go back in time and go oh and then you go home yeah and you'd also go and get mauled whether it be by animals or any fucking illness or sickness that has since been long dead that's gonna fucking kill you also think about this you're gonna go in the past and then you're gonna make a bunch of money so that your present self can have a bunch of money then you just why Why go to the past again if you have all the money in the future?

1:26:29You don't have it in the past. I go to the future and see what's going on. You'd be the dumbest person there. But then I go back.

1:26:35Joe Santagato:Dumbest is a stretch. Because if you put Albert Einstein here today, he's still smarter than any of us. That is a... Like, I don't even know how... Whatever. I don't even know how true that is. I don't really agree. Because you would put him in front of a computer and he'd probably be like, What? What is this? The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything Even our music That hit song named after the color of lemons Not a coincidence Big lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years Think about it But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda Now lime comes first 7up, flip the sip You know, like I think we're all smarter than Einstein We've had this argument, we're not doing this again I don't think that we're smarter than Einstein.

1:27:28Not smarter than Einstein. Duh.

1:27:32Joe Santagato:But. I don't know. We have more access to knowledge than Einstein did. That's what I'm saying. I can say that. We're not relitigating this argument. I hear what you're saying. A magic carpet is incredibly cool. It's more comfy. It is not. That's like saying what's cooler. Laying on a fucking mat in a pool. Or someone that rides up on a chopper. What's cooler, Joey? that's not what we're saying. That's exactly what we're saying. No. What's cooler? A Segway or a motorcycle? Okay. Flying in an airplane, would you rather be laying down or in the back sitting on a bike? If I was in control of it. I mean, but like, sure, there are some design flaws that maybe I would be able to edit at different points in time.

1:28:20Joe Santagato:Yeah, there's some flaws, all right. That maybe there are some design flaws. You're on a carpet. Yeah. Your life, your well-being and safety is just basically at the will of the thread count. Yours too. No, mine's a piece of sturdy magic wood. Also, it'd be more like a bike without the bike seat. You're just sitting on raw, thin wood. Yeah, dude. Your butthole is post. First of all, do not reference the standard at which my asshole will be after riding on a magic... Post. Post. I'll just get some biker shorts What are they called? Biker shorts There you go I'll get some biker shorts And I'll fucking throw a pillow in my pants I'll be okay dude Throw a pillow in my pants I'll be alright Gotta throw a pillow in your pants I'm gonna like take a nap on my carpet Yeah and then you're gonna roll over And roll to your doom No cause it could catch me You better hope it can catch you Cause that's the other part of it Is that it needs to find you and get you because if you remember in Aladdin, like he falls and that thing needs to go and get it.

1:29:27Joe Santagato:And sometimes it's not, it cuts it a little close. So the anxiety of possibly falling to your death better be worth it. I mean, I'm not going to fall asleep, but I could, I could lay down for sure. You can lay down. Sure. But then you're laying on a carpet. Can my DeLorean fly like his? It does have the ability to fly. It does. Oh, my answer is so good. Your answer sucks. He doesn't need the ground to even teleport. He just flies at 88 miles per hour. Boy, that does add a bit of a monkey wrench into my argument. So it's kind of like the Harry Potter car? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Except it could teleport.

1:30:11Joe Santagato:Can't teleport. It can go back in time. It wasn't like teleporting from here to France. It was going back in time. So you're not getting that. you also can't go anywhere like cool except the past or the future there's no practical use for it in today's like day and age i mean you take the car you can drive i have a flying car at the end of the day i still have a flying car yeah that does change things for me now because the carpet is like but the other thing is the accessibility of the carpet you're also getting something in the carpet that you're not getting in the delorean you're getting personality you're getting something that you might enjoy yeah compared to you're just getting nuts and bolts i get heat and ac and time travel and flight all things that don't matter when you have a cool carpet i'm helping you here i still think my answer is the best the weather is a toughie that's another one i mean all of us i mean you and i are both fucked don't say all of us yeah also in a in a thunderstorm that'd be cool no dude for you i mean why it's wood yeah but it cracks wood yeah when it strikes it yeah well i i will take the chances yours if fucking thunder hits yours it's literally turning to dust and you're falling this is a stupid question maybe i mean what is this show if not a collection of those i mean the last hour and a half have been probably pretty stupid but lightning right it strikes

1:31:44that bolt is it like like the damage that that bolt can do like obviously it does damage to where it strikes but can you get damaged by this part you know what I'm saying like in the middle

1:31:59Joe Santagato:that's a good question like the light part of it I imagine doesn't it also strike from the ground up isn't that like a thing I have no idea it's not what it does in the cartoon cartoons or well there we go in life too it's you're saying it spawns from the ground i thought i saw something i'm not saying i i know that i thought that was something i had heard i think there is something about the electricity in the ground like you can like right where lightning strikes before it does something with the ground i'm sure that they're like since it is like it's it's a form of energy so i'm sure there is a surrounding area that will also be affected by it yeah i didn't know if it was just like where it ends up or the entirety of the strike like that could be damaging to some oh well maybe if it does hit something on the way down it would just stop there because no i think it would be powerful enough to go through it well planes get struck by lightning yeah but it also probably then goes down oh i don't think so i think that it hits the plane and it kind of like distributes does lightning strike the ocean of course dude what It probably mostly strikes the ocean.

1:33:11It's more likely to hit the ocean than anything else.

1:33:14Joe Santagato:Well, because there's more ocean area than there is land area. But in the middle of the ocean, is there lightning strikes? Of course. I mean, I've seen it. You could stand on the edge of a beach and watch a storm or something. But how do you know it's not hitting a little body of land out there? Why does it need to be land? I'm asking. I'm saying no. This is a tough question to find the answer to, but you are right. It's called the return stroke. It's a... Hey, yo, it's like a reach around. That's why they should... The gay community should rename reach arounds to the return stroke. All right.

1:33:54It's a bright, powerful electric current that travels upward from the ground towards the cloud. It is extremely dangerous because it carries millions of volts and heats the air to approximately 50 ,000 degrees Fahrenheit. Excuse me? Hotter than the surface of the sun in that flash. That's what it says. No shot. I don't believe hotter than the surface. I don't believe that either. Yeah, I don't think people survive it. Probably. How's that possible?

1:34:15Joe Santagato:50 ,000 degrees Fahrenheit is not hotter than the surface. What fucking side are you on? Let me guess. Google, bro. Let me guess. Let me guess. It sounds like you texted Frank for this answer. Excuse you. That sounds like it's an AI answer. It is. It's our scientist. Is it? Well, how do we get hold of one? I don't know. You know what? Get in your DeLorean. Go bring fucking Albert Einstein back here. I mean, we've talked about trying to get Neil on the show. We've talked about trying to get Hank Green. Like, we're going to have to answer. Is Hank Green a scientist? Is he? He's the scientist, dude.

1:34:47Joe Santagato:But he's a scientist? I don't know. He knows science things. I guess. I know. He's a smart guy. What differentiates a scientist from a non-scientist? It's just they just know more. A degree title. I don't think that they are called Scientist Joe, Scientist Frank. No, they have. I think practicing. No, there's like, you're like a physicist. Yeah. Yeah, so they are studying, they have a PhD in physics. Frank, if you just, like, know things about science, you're not a scientist. I think you are to some degree. You need to be, like, certified. But you can get a degree in a specialized field, but, like, there's no degree of scientist-ism.

1:35:28Joe Santagato:Right. No, this. It's physicist. It's chemist. Yes, but those would be science, like of the sciences, you're a scientist. Like if you have one of those titles, then you're considered a scientist. So in theory, you need a degree, like a Bachelor of Science. I don't know if it's a bachelor or if you need something else. But you need a science degree. Yes. So one of us here is technically a scientist. No. Two of us here are technically scientists. Two of us? He's got a degree? it's not any degree it's not criminal justice and you're a scientist but the literal degree says Bachelor of Science the major was criminal justice now we have to look up who's a scientist I mean what are we doing what are we looking up exactly why don't you look up is Frank Alvarez from the dumbest podcast that's ever existed a scientist why don't we look that up why don't we call up the national let's call up the White House and let them know there's a scientist here that needs to a pay raise or something.

1:36:31Joe Santagato:Do me a favor. Don't give my full name when you call the White House. That might be a little troublesome. I cannot believe the attack I would just on the receiving end on. Google that exact quote. It's Frank Alvarez. On the fucking screen is Frank Alvarez from the dumbest podcast. What was it? That's ever existed. That's ever existed. A scientist. A scientist. I'm going to say this. A scientist is fundamentally defined as a commitment to systemic inquiry using observation, experimentation, and scientific method to acquire new knowledge about the natural world. It's all it takes. You guys are...

1:37:16So I'm a scientist! Hey, buddy, first of all, that octave, very high. Second off, that doesn't make you a scientist.

1:37:23Joe Santagato:Yes, it does. so much of my degree was studying the scientific method in terms of social sciences which can be applied to the natural world as a result of the societal impacts that criminal justice has god I hate this show Bachelor of Science dude if anything he's also a scientist yeah we're all scientists you're not that's my point I wasn't in the liberal arts and science school. I was in the... What's your bachelor degree say? Bachelor of? Business. I don't think that's... So then a bachelor of arts. So you're not. So see you later, bitch. It's just me. You can't be a scientist. You don't even have glasses.

1:38:09Joe Santagato:I do have glasses. I just don't wear them all the time. That's because you're not a scientist. I am definitely... What was the last bit of research you did that wasn't about a toy from the 90s on eBay? What I am researching is completely irrelevant. However, understanding the proper way of researching something using peer-reviewed articles and being able to apply data to support or argue against something, I think that is, in theory, the scientific method. I have used it. I continue to use it in my daily life. I am a scientist. Well, there you have it, folks. The Basement Yard Podcast, hosted by college dropout Joe Santagato.

1:38:51and the scientist, Dr. Frank Alvarez. And the other scientist, apparently, the scientist of business over there.

1:39:06Joe Santagato:Let's make something abundantly clear. I did not receive my doctorate. I did receive my master's. So if anything, it's college dropout Joe Sanagato. No, no, no. College dropout Joe Sanagato, scientist, Dr. Frank Alvarez. No, not doctor. who's also Dr. Frank Alvarez because he's close to being a surgeon. Let's not forget that argument, too. No, no, no. And he's close to being a doctor. No, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. That's unfair. Okay? I have not received my doctorate. Okay? I am a master, though. I received my master's degree. So I am – this is the Basement Yard Podcast, hosted by college dropout Joe Santagato.

1:39:50Joe Santagato:and master of science, Frank Alvarez. Right. Because that is what my degrees say. I'm a bachelor of science. I'm a master of science. You are now a podcaster. Scientist. It's over. Hey, listen, the world that we live in. You left the lab behind. The world we live in weaves a weird web. However, here I am. You know what? We're all real happy that you hung up your lab coat. We're really happy that you hung up your lab coat. And what are you giggling about? Because you hung up the lab coat too, apparently. That's right. I mean, listen. If you were to say, here's the start of the race, here's the end of the race.

1:40:42Joe Santagato:Okay? It's a decent point. If you were to say, here's the start of the race, here's the end of the race. Yes. Here's where you are. Yeah. Here's where I am. And if this, the end of the race, is being a scientist or a doctor, I am just using plain logic. Closer. Why do I have to explain this? Frank, how does that make you a scientist? Because you studied 15 years ago. Shit that you don't remember, and you took a class. We just got hammered. It was mixology. Whoa. You think that scientists don't like to party? We love to party. We. We do. I'm sick of this. I do. We do. I'm a bachelor of... I will show you my degree.

1:41:42Joe Santagato:Ooh. Bachelor of Science. Master of Science. None of your shit says Master of Science. I guarantee it does. All right. It says Master of Science. So, like, it's like Bachelor of Science. It's like when they say, like, BS. Oh, it's BS, all right. No, Bachelor of Science, MS in this major. Yeah. I'm writing down Joe's BS joke. That was really underrated.

1:42:09Oh my god

1:42:11Joe Santagato:I mean it's just It is what it is You could be as upset As you want to be about it It's not me The reality is You want to be close I'm not I don't want to be anything I am Categorically A scientist Factually A scientist I have received a Bachelor of Science Are you a scientist? In essence I am That is all for this week's episode Of the fucking basement yard Don't you dare. Don't you dare try to do that. You guys were all fucking, you guys were out here watching. I got shit in my mouth. What is this in my mouth? I'm like a piece of turkey. This whole time I'm sitting across from a scientist. I'm surrounded by scientists.

1:42:55This is the smartest company in the world.

1:42:57Joe Santagato:If anything, jokes on me. Because one of the scientists here. is there is a scientist here and he is working for the non-scientist no no no i'm surrounded by science i went out you know what that's the prerequisite if you want to work at this company you got to be a scientist uh i think greg is no greg i think got his degree in the arts didn't he like journalism or something yeah that's not science he's not you guys why do i keep getting punched he's not a bachelor of science he's a bachelor of arts journalism which is impressive i'm not taking that away from him but it ain't a scientist but he's not a scientist he's a scientist with words which is a just a journalist yeah shakespeare but he's not yeah so that's how we're gonna categorize all this he's closer to being plato than the rest of us.

1:43:55That is correct. Yeah. Yes, that is correct. Oh, man. I think I'm done. Right. I think I'm done with the episode

1:44:06Joe Santagato:because I don't even know what to say. Do you want me to end it? Yeah. The resident scientist? I would like this to end scientifically, so yeah. Okay. Well, I believe I can unequivocally say it has been a stupendous episode. All right? and the passion that you and I feel for doing this show has propelled each and every episode to exponentially more heights. There's that science degree talking. Would it have been funny if I killed this mic? Exponentially more heights. I just want to say, from your resident basement yard scientist, Right. Curiosity and imagination is incredibly important. Keep that.

1:44:55Joe Santagato:Let it propel you and your loved ones into a future of not just uncertainty, but seeking out life as it is and as it ought to be. Patreon.com slash TheBaseMignard. If you would like to fund more research. That's right. What is the Basement Yard if not a show by half a scientist? You know, half scientists. Yes. Are we not a show for scientific exploration?

1:45:32Joe Santagato:Should I talk?

1:45:38Don't shake your head in agreement. This guy, Mr. Giggles over there. I think he stomped his feet before from laughing. I was crying. It was so funny.

1:45:49Joe Santagato:Boy, people are going to have a field day with this episode. I can't wait for the scientists to rally behind me. My God, Hank Green is going to lose his mind. All right. He's too nice, though. Hank Green is too nice. He would be like, technically. I feel like he's got some fire in him, maybe.

1:46:08Joe Santagato:Maybe. Do some research in your lab. You know what? Yeah, I'll do it. I'll follow the scientific method. Well, look, you guys go follow me at Joe Sanagano. Go follow the show at TheBaseMeYard. Frank, you know. And you can follow. Yeah, right. After that outing, you're lucky. You guys, we'll see you guys next time. Thank you so much.

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