#548 - Are We There Yet?

21:07Joe Santagato:He only cares if you have something to offer him to his esteemed life. No, to someone. Present to me your information to better my life and move it in the right direction. No. What do you have to offer, aunt? That's not what I'm saying. If I'm asking a question about your experience in St. Louis and you're like, I just was put up at a hotel. I'd be like, oh, okay. But what do you get out of saying that you've been there? Like, you so badly want to say that you've been there and you're trying to find all the loopholes as to why you've been there why no one is fucking trying yes you are like show off that i've been there i'm saying i only tell people if i've been to places if i've like been there and went to places or whatever you're like why do you need all that like that's obviously that you've been there you're the one looking for loopholes i'm not i'm not looking for a loophole you're saying i drove through it counts if anything you're the one that's putting the the guardrails on the experience of defining when you have or have not been there well there were many for me there were many times where from New York, I would drive down to Florida to go to Disney.

22:06Yeah. And you've been to all those states. Are you saying, are you saying I've been to all those? That's what he's saying. And I disagree with that. Like, cause, because I wouldn't be able to have a conversation or speak to what those places are like, even if I drove through a part, you're not driving through the entire state. So I thought I drove through a part of it and be like, well, I drove through, no one's going to be like, Oh, okay. Like, like you can't tell anyone anything

22:28Joe Santagato:about a city what if your colombian uh construction working father makes you stop at every cracker barrel in every state on the way down to florida then you sure know a lot about that franchise yes i do that's something to offer that it is awful no offer i can't tell you anything about the states what i can tell you is where to stop and i can tell you that they let you take as many as the maple syrups what would he steal yeah those places are they my dad thought he was running the maple syrup heist of all time were you sleeping in bed like a bed or something or you were sitting in a chair like a car oh my dad like took out the back seats in his uh truck and like put down blankets and stuff so we would just like sleep and hang out back there for the day it took to travel and it i'm not even kidding it added 10 hours to our day because we stopped at seven or eight cracker barrels.

23:24Joe Santagato:There is no part of that that is even the smallest bit of an exaggeration. How long does it take to get there? If you just ripped it. It's like 20 hours. Where? Where are you going? Florida. Florida. Oh, yeah. My uncle lived in Jacksonville, but we also drove down to South Beach. Wait, you did this too? Many times. Wow, is this like a New York thing? I don't know. I think it's just, so you have a car and you can drive around and you save on flights and tickets for young kids and everything. Whoa. But pooped in a car. excuse me now that was not information we requested or when we were kids like they just had a bucket in the car i don't know why we did that wait there was a bag in the it was a bag what would you do with the poop they could just throw it out the window no no like throw it out the next rest stop i guess we couldn't make it i don't so there was there was a good chance they and i'm assuming it's 95 so there's not like rest stops every five miles no so you'd go 10 miles or some or 15 miles with a bag of shit in the car i don't i'll be honest i don't remember every detail i was young but i do distinctly remember pooping in a in a bucket um i have in a bucket i have a you have a poop in a bucket i don't think so we could we could you don't have to we could change that you don't have to poop in a bucket i don't think yeah i don't think i have 46 000 patrons i will no get them a bucket they can poop in the bucket and then throw sawdust on it is is is pooping in a bucket and then throwing it on the side of the road is that littering yeah dude i mean i also think that's like very illegal because of the poop it's like a toxic waste or like it's like dangerous i don't think it's toxic waste dude i think it's fertilizer no no no i mean if you get human shit if like humans use their shit as a weapon it's like illegal correct i am not saying that this is going to be used in any way that is going to be harmful toward another human but if there's shit around in society and you put it there and a cop sees you do that like that's illegal if i go driving down 95 and we're passing through north carolina uh-huh if i stop side of the road walk into the woods dig a hole and dump a human shit in that hole dig a hole and then cover it up yeah is that illegal cover it up i mean no it's very like i mean yeah it's strange i'm not getting away from that dig it and cover it up um that is illegal yeah is that your question why because you can't have people shitting outside

26:00Joe Santagato:i understand why in like too close to a home or like too close to a city or in a city or in like a neighborhood i think it's just one of those but if a if a human shits in the woods is it illegal i actually don't know if it's illegal because i think that like that's assumed on like hiking trips like people will have to shit it the answer is essentially it depends like is the area you're doing it in legal to for it to happen or not how do you get rid of it it's it's all just it depends yeah i don't think you could throw it out your fucking window can't do that i mean yes correct you guys did that probably not out the window not out the window but at a rest in the next rest stop just throw it in the garbage or something yeah i mean that's where it's supposed to go that's probably what we did yeah that's gross sorry we also had a little tv in there we played crash van you know what's crazy when i stayed in a van for six days did nobody shit in the van like there was a like a small thing to shit in and we didn't have to use it it was like for emergencies never happened van well why would you have to use that when you're in the middle of the wilderness just get out of the car yeah i didn't do that either i don't think what'd you do there was like we stayed on uh people's property and they had like a little tent or something or they had like an outhouse or like on trails like at the trailhead there would be one at the end there would be one but not during the hike but in between and also you're driving on the road obviously so like if you hit a rest stop or something but i was surprised it never happened i thought i was gonna have to shit in a car didn't want to do that yeah i could imagine that would not be fun that would be awful just shitting on a highway anyway we should get to the ads you know since we're uh talking about poop and everything uh the first the first thing we have here how you doing squarespace okay uh squarespace is where the website or the platform that you're going to use to build your website.

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30:35Joe Santagato:Enjoy that. Yeah. You know what else you can enjoy? I'll tell you one subscription. You're not going to want to get rid of or ignore or it's patreon guys come on you know what i'm doing you know what i'm setting up here it's like baseball baseball's back throw me the ball and bing bang boom i'm gonna swing away and in a home run patreon.com slash the basement yard is the best way to continue to support us thank you guys to over 45 000 of you that are paid patrons that her that are that are making out all the lights that keep the lights on here making everything that we want to do possible thank you so much for those of you that don't know or if it's your first time listening or you want another quick little remindy for you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard check out the tiers that we got there that first tier you're going to get you these weekly episodes one whole week in advance and then that second tier you'll get exclusive episodes every single friday and if you join everything that's backlogged and back category to back cataloged or whatever in there you'll be able to watch so you could go back to the very first patron episode that i joined You can go back to the last weeks or whatever, anything.

31:39Joe Santagato:All of it will be there for you. Hundreds of hours of The Basement Yard at your fingertips. So go check it out, patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. And if you want to save yourself a couple extra dinero, okay, what you could do is you could type in that website on the URL, you know, using a web browser, and you could check it out that way because if you sign up using the smart app, the tech lizard overlords are going to take some extra money from you. So do me and yourself a favor. Go check it out. patreon.com slash the basement yard save yourself some couple extra bucks by going and using a web browser we love you we thank you we appreciate you keep it going keep it running keep it sorry sorry i don't know dude i gotta tell you about this too this morning nicole wakes up and she's like you weren't really nice to me in my dream last night right one of those i'm assuming we've all been there yeah yeah yeah um and i'm like okay and she was like you told me that you didn't want to be with me anymore and i'm like okay how did i what i say and she's like well we were texting and i forget what the text message was but it was something that like you know whatever and she said that she was in a car and she was texting me but she wasn't using a phone it was you know borson cheese do you know what that is type in borson b-o-u-r-s-i-n you've definitely seen it on charcuterie boards i mean i've seen a lot of things on charcuterie boards so oh yeah so you see this cheese oh yeah i've seen so you see how like you see the wrapping click on that comes in like a muffin tin yeah it comes up it comes like that nope the one you were hovered over when I said that you bastard okay so you see she said it was a it was borson cheese which I'm all about by the way it's good and then it would unwrap and have my text message and then it would rewrap and I was like so this is a magic borson cheese I'll be honest with you if Becca were to present information to me that she didn't want to be with me it would probably be the most digestible in cheese a cheese breakup is probably a great one i would love i i let me no no you would love i don't i don't want to ever be broken up with by becca but i would be a little more appreciative of the information if it came via cheese yeah if that would be by a magic borson cheese i'd be like Yeah.

34:08Joe Santagato:It's a good cheese. That is a good cheese. I like that because you got to undress it. What's the other flavors you got in there? I see that little, what the box is right there. So what do we got? Zoom in on that little bitch. He wants to make himself hungry here. Caramelized onion and herbs. Basil and chive. Yeah. Shallot and chive. Throw that up. Cracked. Fig and balsamic. Make me a woman. Make a woman out of me. Yeah, make him a woman. But shallot and chive, I don't mind that. I like shallot. Rosemary and black garlic? Yeah, rosemary black garlic might be a problem. You want to know what's, first of all.

34:44Joe Santagato:I love rosemary. What's that? I also kind of like the name. I feel like that's a cool older woman. Like a rosemary. Rosemary is an herb. I know. And it grows pretty, like you can grow it on like, in like your kitchen. Like you don't, it doesn't need like a ton of light. Frank, I know what rosemary is. I'm asking if you like it. What are you explaining to me? I'm like, you like rosemary? He goes, you can grow it. It's very easy. Bro, I know what rosemary is. See, I was yelling at me. You think I deserve this? First of all, you were very disrespectful in the earlier conversation. Well, Joey, what does knowing rosemary do to me?

35:22Joe Santagato:What does that do for me? Know more about rosemary or it does nothing. That's another thing that you took out of context. I was not saying.

35:33Joe Santagato:I don't really know what you're doing anymore I'm you like what people trying to talk to me but they don't offer me anything that's you no if I have a question and you're answering it but you don't have any answers then why am I asking you the question I'm sorry your ear space is so fucking so expensive right literally not what I'm saying your ear space is so expensive this is your you can't be bothered with other people unless they have information that's not worthy of my time. I can see that you're upset that you're wrong here. I can tell that you have information. Bet it must be worthy of my time and attention.

36:14This is not funny. It's very confusing. You're laughing too. Come on. Hmm.

36:20Joe Santagato:Ant. Oh, keep going. Ant. give me some information you bet it must be worth my attention why are you saying that? that sentence doesn't even make sense what does that mean? and if it shall not be worth my attention

36:43Joe Santagato:you're in trouble

36:49I don't think you like that obviously not Obviously that's not what I said Obviously it's not You want to do the voice again? The voice made it a little better Are you crying? I was crying What were you just talking about?

37:06Joe Santagato:Oh you were talking about the dream I was trying to talk about rosemary Oh yeah I'm sorry and the information I had Was not worth The incredible amount of intellectual Time you have on your hands I said do you like rosemary And you're like you can grow it Like I don't know what rosemary is Like you're telling me what it is for the first time You ever grown rosemary? No Exactly So I'm giving you information you might not have had before By saying you can grow it? You think What did you think Where did you think I thought? I'm presenting you with confidence To maybe fucking go home and do something With your life Instead of building this media empire I'm counting on And employing all your friends And giving our lives meaning and purpose Don't try to save it now Frank You're in the Gog The Gog house?

37:49The Gog house

37:50Joe Santagato:Becca has had dreams like that too. Where like she'll wake up. We'll wake up. And she'll go, you were a real piece of work last night. Like what happened? And she's like, you went to a party. And you sent me a text message saying I'm partying and I don't ever want to see you again. I was like, yeah, that sounds like me. I don't ever want to see you again. I think Nicole told me one time that she had a dream that I called her disgusting. and I'm like that is such an insane word yeah like you're disgusting you disgust me thinking about also the last dream I'm like thinking like you know they say like your dreams are kind of like a mixture of your last thoughts for a bit I don't know how true that is but like how do you get to like I get how you get to the breakup thing I guess but the borsa cheese just hungry I like what I'll be honest with you.

38:44Joe Santagato:I wouldn't be upset if cheese was in any of my dreams, in any capacity. Would you be into... You've seen Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs? Have I? That's a great film. I'm calling it a film. It is a film. Yeah. It's a well-made film. I haven't seen the second one, but the first one, I'm like, this would be fire. Well, also like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Like, if a place existed where the whole thing was food, I would like that. Yeah, Charlie Tarkin Factory I'm not as on board with because it's a little, like... A giant candy factory? Yeah, but, like, I don't want to sit in this fucking chair and then turn around and eat it.

39:28Joe Santagato:Yeah. Did they... Did the factory kill the kids? They didn't kill them. That's a great question. Pretty damn close, though. Augustus Gloop... That kid's dead. Like, I mean... He went out doing what he loved. What about fucking Violet? You're turning Violet, Violet. Didn't she explode? Yeah, well, they had to juice her. They had to juice her before she exploded. You assume they juiced her. Well, and also that doesn't sound like it's very, you know, kid-friendly. It doesn't sound good either. That sounds like it would hurt. Yeah, I mean, of the ones in that movie that I can remember, the one that is probably closest to death is Augustus Gloop.

40:05And let's be honest, whatever happened to the girl who was like mean and Mike TV?

40:14Joe Santagato:Mike TV got turned into a little, into like a little TV thing. Remember? Right. Yeah. It got trapped in a TV. It got trapped in a TV. Yeah. But what the hell happened to the girl? What would the girl, the one that was like, I want mommy and daddy to get it for me now. A golden goose egg or something. Oh, she like, oh, she's taken away by like the, she pulls the thing and she falls. yeah yeah yeah yes yes oh so she was she's in the vents i mean but she probably fell into a cool slide that's fair if anything she's having the time of her life you know one time my cousin like we were all at my cousin's house like a bunch of my extended family and this one of my cousins she tried to go down their laundry chute because they had a laundry chute from like their second floor to their bed first of all not far like it's like right near the stairway i don't know what just walked down the stairs but she tried to go down and she got stuck yeah and it was like this whole thing well duh yeah it's a whole thing she was also a little older so i feel like she was at that age where it was like she was like stealing drinks or something so i was like oh so we think that like she just got a little she's like i'm gonna go fucking slide down this thing and then she got stuck because it's like it like bends yeah well apparently it's a thing that like they like adults that try to go down like slides at like playgrounds and stuff like that like it could be really dangerous because they could break their legs because like the twirly slides yeah you know those so like you don't realize like it's made for a child because like their legs are short enough that like they can just kind of go so you weigh so much that it's like whipping you dude i've gone down and like your foot catches it and it'll fucking like it'll pull your foot back and like there there are i've heard take it with a grain of salt that there have been instances of people going down those things and like their legs breaking because they get caught you fucking imagine i went down a slide maybe like three years ago and it hurt my ass so much there was a slide we took the girls to like one of those like indoor playgrounds and mave went down and i'm not kidding it was so fast that at the end she like slid on the floor like an extra like six feet jesus so then i went into like because they were like please come on come on come on so i went up and i went and sat with him and went down it yo i was flying down that thing whoa i was worried that there was gonna be like kids like trying to run in front because i would have you know i would have took a kid out at the ankles yeah i would have been bad would have flipped them over did you see the family i think a family complained about a slide being too fast so a cop went down it yes i saw this is a famous video that a lot of people have seen

42:55Joe Santagato:You've never seen that? Dude, he's flying Look at this

43:02He comes out He's upside down Dude, you hear him shake

43:09Joe Santagato:You've never seen that video? No, what? That video went mega viral a couple years ago You hear him rattling It's like a dead body coming down Alright, last one

43:23Joe Santagato:I think Yo, where is that? It's in Boston No Yeah, it's in Boston Dude, we have to go to this I saw that there are other videos of people Would you go down that? 100 % Yeah, yeah, I gotta like wear like a taz on my ass Look it up, people like the viral Boston slide There have been videos of people like going down and greasing it Yo I mean, they're asking for it I'm telling you, pull those videos up They go down Oh my god And like they fucking fly down this son of a bitch that's awesome dude the one man i love that the one of the cop is really the one of the cop was the one that went mega viral it's taking a lot of the juice coming out of the slide upside down face down what that's incredible they're flying down right no i can't i can't find it it's only the cop but i found another one of the cop wait hold on i just want to show this this one is just It says local Boston cop gets sucked into slide.

44:25Yo, that looks even crazier. No, I mean, come on. Yo, that doesn't even look like it would be that wild. When you're like staring.

44:33Joe Santagato:Look up. I'm telling you, dude, you have to find it. People greasing that Boston slide. All right, I'll try. Hear me out. What if we just start making adult playgrounds again? They're called gyms. No, no, no. But gyms are like you're going for health purposes. Like adult playgrounds where you can go down bigger slides. And like there's like adult swings, dude. What? Aren't swings just adult swings? No. A lot of swing sets are made for kids. So like they're like someone with long legs like me can't swing back and forth that well because I clip my feet on the ground. Pick your feet up. Hey, man.

45:15Joe Santagato:on the way back my feet are so low i clipped the ground that feels like a you know you gotta do you gotta swing the swing over the thing one time make it shorter oh that's actually that's not a bad idea i completely forgot about that but i don't want to be that guy have you been on a swing recently and been like have you ever done like the backflip off of like the dismount do you not remember the time the jumping off of the swings that we used to do but you've done the backflip yeah so have you tried to do that as an adult no i i tried to do that this was probably like five years ago oh my god dude my life flashed before my eyes i wouldn't do it like i remember i have pictures of when we were teenagers jumping off and like i remember from that height falling and rolling my ankle and if i did that now it's not rolling it's over pulverized yeah yeah for us.

46:09I did it because I remember being young and doing it so effortlessly. It was the easiest thing in the world for me to do. And then when I did it, I came around and I was like, what have I done? And then as I was like, I landed mad weird and landed on my ass. I was like, I'm never doing that again.

46:26Joe Santagato:You're a brave person for having done that five years. I honestly didn't think that it was going to be hard. I thought it was going to be easy, but I guess I just hadn't done it in a while i mean life one of the things that people don't tell you about getting older is that like your body just can't do what it used to do not if you don't do it i mean it was and what are you looking up there buddy oh

46:53is that like an ad yeah it was a bunch of big titted women this is the basement yard this is the basement yard thing it's not mine the basement yard what google You're the only one who uses that computer I thought about that, you're right

47:09Joe Santagato:Did you find any of those? Nothing was better than that cop Oh man, that's it, that's a good one Dude, speaking of videos though, can you pull up the video Of the animatronics? Oh man This is such a freak show thing That is going on Okay So, the context, to my understanding This girl Likes animatronics I believe she builds animatronics or she likes this one. And the premise is she brought her animatronic to a show of animatronics. Yeah. And I hate that. This is such a freaky thing I saw on TikTok. And I was like, dude, please. To see his favorite band. Who's his favorite band? Like Kiss? Oh, it's other animatronics.

47:52What are you doing? I don't like that one. Which one? That big one with the guitar. I don't like it. Why? I don't know. It looks like it's going to come at me. I mean, it's not.

48:02Joe Santagato:You played too much Five Nights at Freddy's. Are you like that? Get the fuck out of here, this old bag. Wait, oh, no, I really don't fuck with birds with eyes with humans. Human eyes? Is this like the country bears? I don't know. I don't like that these guys are moving around, so. Oh, no, they killed him.

48:22Anything with legs?

48:25Joe Santagato:I don't mind animatronicity. You've played too much Five Nights at Freddy's, Ant. That's what it is. I don't like it. Oh, that's Chucky. That is Chucky. That is Chucky. Okay, that feels like culture appropriation. I mean, definitely the Italian with the accordion. This guy's bat. First of all, I'm decabitating this thing if I ever saw it. If I ever saw this thing in person, I'm shooting it with a real-life gun. For real. Yeah. It's just... Wait, why does she have an animatronic? And why does she bring it? Also, is she a fucking... I don't like the piano player at all. I don't like his mouth. It's that one.

48:56Joe Santagato:All right. Why can't you watch it without... I don't know. Look at that. Look how tall he is. Do me a favor Yeah that's a big fucking guy Play it from the beginning And watch the video Without blocking your eyes I could Stop what you're doing Why are you acting Like you're gonna throw Stop what you're doing Yeah

49:11I don't like it Why can't you I don't really like it either Dude look at Look at that

49:16Joe Santagato:It's just too tall It's a big It's a big Horse I just I have so many like Operational questions here Also How did How can this place Possibly be a business Also Why in God's name Does she have a 9900 year old man with a cigar animatronic? Yeah, that makes no sense to me. And how is she moving this thing? I don't know, but it's terrifying. I imagine it's heavy. Is she a bodybuilder? I don't know. Imagine someone bringing you to this like, oh, hey, you want to see something? And then it just starts playing all of it. If it was close, we should go. I... It says Sandy Hook. Oh. Where do you see that?

50:00Joe Santagato:The bottom It says Smithy's Smithy's Sugar Service Super Service Super Service I don't know I mean if that's Sandy Hook in Jersey That's not that far Connecticut's It'd be a drive But I don't want to go I don't like this I don't like Animatronics But I also don't like Anything that's like A doll With human eyes I just like Sandy Hook Mississippi Mississippi. Oh, okay. This is in Mississippi? Yeah, it's something. That's a Mississippi animatronic if I've ever seen one. So it seems like what they do is they restore 1980s animatronics. So that was Chuck E. Cheese. Ah. And they play, I don't know.

50:46I don't want to look. And they play a band? I guess so.

50:48Joe Santagato:I'd go to see this. Fully operational synchronized. Dude, we should do mushrooms and go to this. I would. No. San Diego Studios video? No, I'm okay. We took mushrooms and we went to an animatronic show. 50 ,000 patrons. How about this? Actually, no, that's a horrible idea. Oh, I love those. Do they sing the song from Five Nights at Freddy's? It's like, it's nice to meet you. We're the animatronic family. I know you know what that is. Don't even pretend. You gotta do that stuff. What's that? I don't know. I was going to say just get mad drunk and go to fucking medieval times. That we've talked about openly and sounds like a good idea.

51:26Why was that a bad idea? Because it's like a children thing. Is it? Yeah, who cares about them? Why don't, again, we're the basement yard.

51:36Joe Santagato:Now we can reach out to be like, yo, listen, we want to come include us in a show. Let us joust. Oh, I definitely don't want to joust. Are you insane? Brother, if you had the opportunity to joust with a turkey leg in your hand and a bowl of grog in the other, you're not doing it? I mean... Jousting seems a little dangerous. Give me a blunt sword. I'll fight you. Bro, you're getting poked in the chest while sitting on top of a horse. Okay, put me on the ground, and you and I with blunt metal swords fight. I hope a knight gives me a rose. No shot. You're not a child. It's a children's thing, no?

52:17I think that you have a chance.

52:19Joe Santagato:Thank you. I would like to go, and I would be full in. I would get a get up I would get a fucking like a crown oh please get me some chain mail oh that's a good idea king knight and executioner I feel like that sounds right you want to be the executioner I'll be the executioner and I'm the knight because I'm brave and I'm doing actual the like going out and getting after it while the king just sits there and has people try his food so it doesn't get poisoned sure I'll take it sure whatever you whatever you need sure I'll do it yeah And you're the pick number three, my lord. I'll do it. That was Thelonious.

52:56Pick number three, my lord. I would love to go to Medieval Times. I just want to eat chicken with my hands and like peas.

53:04Joe Santagato:I've never been. It was like the big fifth grade trip that our school did. Yeah. That was the last time I went. Yeah, me too. I bought a battle axe and a shield. I bought two battle axes and I was like Gimli. When I was in Toronto, I was driving around, and I saw— So you weren't there. And I saw a giant medieval times. It was huge. In Toronto? Yeah. Did they even have the medieval times back then? It was just like French people decapitating each other. That's what I thought. Like, I thought, like, why is this here? But they have a giant medieval times there. Oh, the medieval times. Well, they weren't having turkey leg.

53:44Joe Santagato:We were having wine and goose. Aren't they, like, ruled by the British? Canada? Yeah. I thought it was the French. I mean, there are French people. Feels like something you should know, probably. I'm pretty sure it's British. If anyone's going to know that here, it's definitely not me. I could do it. No, no, no. I'm doing the ads anyway. Oh. But I'm pretty sure they're... You look up that information. You do the ads. All right. I'll dictate how this is all going. I'm looking up, is Canada... I think it was... They're ruled right now by like British. I'm pretty sure. I think. Okay. We have some more sponsors.

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57:49Joe Santagato:Beautiful. All right. What were we saying right before we cut the... long story short canada is not under british rule i think they were founded by like under since 1982 but like not under rule well they're independent yo mikey's watching this and he's just shaking they do share the same um monarch but that's it that's more of a symbolic head of state thing yes yes that's what i meant the monarch yes which i don't know once we start getting into monarchies and those types of things like that's a little tough um so i don't really know what that means yeah i knew they weren't ruled by the british but like they were like there was something with the british it wasn't the french is my point but i thought the french were the ones that like founded it above my pay grade i know there's a lot of isn't that why like french is like the most spoken language in canada i don't know we also don't know much about canada i think toronto also you know how they say queens is like super diverse yeah toronto's like one of the most diverse countries if not the i think it's the most city cities i mean it's like the most diverse city in the world isn't that insane yeah i mean queens is up there it's like every language in the world is spoken somewhere in queens that's so cool which is pretty crazy and then it's even crazy to think about i mean this is like here we go now we're getting here let's go yep let's do it no because i feel like when i was younger right because of how we grew up it was like how can people be like racist you know what i mean yeah and then like but like i get how people can like hate people i don't get being racist though like i like i mean obviously now i'm older that's not what i mean but when i was younger i was like thinking about how strange it must have been to grow up in a place where there wasn't like other people like other uh ethnicities and like cultures like gotcha that is like yeah like and you could just be like i don't know like that's i'm like dumbfounded i agree i i mean i think that you know these are people that have grown up in a an isolated world to them so like the idea of somebody else existing and having a similar lifestyle to them like they don't like yeah i just are we gonna sit here and parse through the trying to understand racists no that's not my intent i know i know that's not your intent but like why do we have to explain like not not that you're asking me to explain but like that's just it's a weird thing to have to like, it is so stupid being racist.

1:00:37That's not where I was like leading the conversation.

1:00:39Joe Santagato:There you go, folks. I just, that's the political discourse you're getting here. Being racist is so what? It's so stupid. No, but I thought it was, what I was getting at was like, we're just so used to being around a bunch of like, yes, and other people. And then there's people who like, don't, that's not their experience. And I never understood that everywhere. It wasn't like where we live. I, yes and then i and then i i really don't understand the people that have grown up and those people and those people are like i don't like them yeah you're like huh yeah you're like what we all grew up in the same literally school system yes you shared a class with someone named pablo someone named azeem azeem someone named marcus someone named joseph like you should be able to like understand yeah these things can coexist yeah it it is it is it is baffling queens is really like outside of the diverse like i guess this goes hand in hand with the diverse people but like the food like yo i'm not even fucking around like people say like oh go to new york for the food when you go to manhattan like you'll find spots here and there bro you want like and i can't speak about the other boroughs because i've not lived in them and spent as enough as much time but like you can go to queens and get the best version of those countries foods outside of those countries you know does that make sense i would loop in the rest of the five boroughs in that i agree with what part like what he i racism is bad no yeah that especially i'm saying loop in the other boroughs but also that outside of the country Yeah, for sure.

1:02:19The best food of that country. Like I've let's as an example, Colombian food.

1:02:25Joe Santagato:Obviously, my father's side of the family is Colombian. Go to Jackson Heights. It's basically little Colombia. I've had Colombian food outside of Queens and it pales in comparison. And I know people would say like, oh, it's just like that's the first you had. So you think that's the standard, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I'm just talking from a quality standpoint, like the quality of the food that you're having. It's just better. living in a place where it's like just one cuisine would suck ass dude you want to know something crazy that my mom taught me taught me told me and i and it like it didn't like at first register because it didn't make sense but now thinking back on it it's like what my mom said that her first time having mexican food was when she went out to oregon in the 80s because she said that Mexican food really wasn't a thing in New York.

1:03:15Really? Could you imagine? That's my favorite food, I think.

1:03:19Joe Santagato:Really? I think Mexican is, yeah. Okay. I would say, oh, man. I mean, if we're going to categorize food by nation, that's really tough. I mean, I love traditional American food, like steaks and hot dogs and barbecue. But boy, oh, boy, the minute I see Greek food is on the menu,

1:03:46whoa what do you what's like greek like uh

1:03:48Joe Santagato:gyros sure gyros as we say them appropriately uh but then like like the way that like the greeks prepare their fish uh pastitsio you know the desserts galactoburico baklava which i know people say it's not technically a greek thing um baklava is good very sticky oh i love it that syrup on it. I like anything that's like flaky as fuck. Flaky and just fucking moist. Like layered shit is good. Dude. That's why that one. You know, you've never been to Stamati's. Oh my God. I haven't. Well, I don't know if they still do this because we live in a different world than we did 10 years ago. But like they would give complimentary dessert.

1:04:28Joe Santagato:It was called Galactaburico and it's like the flaky filo dough on top and inside it's like a custardy cakey. Yeah. With like that like honey vanilla syrup drizzle on it. Yeah. And I'm telling you. Open it up. I'm coming in. That's right. Yeah. That is right. What's your favorite food? It's a tie between traditional American and Italian, for sure. I actually don't like Mexican food that much, believe it or not. Oh, I also love Asian food. Yeah. Absolutely. Like? Like, I mean. What? I don't like Chinese food. I don't like Thai. I love Chinese food. I love Thai. I love. I eat a lot of Thai food. I love fucking my Uber eats.

1:05:10The top was Thai. Really? Oh yeah. Cause I only really used it, that app for the Thai food. Cause it's only available on there. So that's kind of cheating, but yeah, whatever. Um,

1:05:20Joe Santagato:yeah. You know, I don't think I've had like, I don't think I've been introduced to food and not enjoyed it. Hmm. What? I don't know that this happened to me either. Like no one has ever been like, you've never had this. Let's go have some and been like, that's not good. Oh, like of course I've had food in my life that like oh someone's like those Filipino food yes and you're like oh I don't like this like one of my what are my earliest memories of like trying foods from different places because as like a young teenager I was like not really into trying that shit but like we knew someone whose father had a Moroccan cafe food blew me away your Moroccan food's good well I do believe that unless there's a crazy dietary restriction but people, you could find something you like at every restaurant, even if you don't like the food.

1:06:09Like, I don't traditionally like Mexican food, but if I go to a Mexican restaurant, I could very much eat there. Because, like, there's something I'll like. What do you not like about Mexican food? I don't know, but, like, I guess it's just, like, the traditional flavoring, because I like the fajitas, I like certain tacos, because, like, when it tastes more plain, I guess. I'm not trying to, like... You like plain food? Yeah, I was going to say, I'm not trying to, like, be super white. You're whitening it up. I mean, you said American and Italian, brother. Well, absolutely, but...

1:06:34Joe Santagato:I think I don't know how to explain whatever like the flavor profile is that is used traditionally in Mexican food is not your favorite yeah like probably like cumin you know like a lot of their foods use cumin a lot so like I could see that because that is that is a pretty like you know cumin when you taste cumin when I was younger I thought that was pronounced cumin of course it is I'm not spelled cumin I'm not sure it's not still yeah I think that like maybe I don't see a cue. I see cup. They also use stuffing a lot, and it's not like if you don't like it, it's not. You're not going to like it.

1:07:09Joe Santagato:I don't know how else I say that. It's so intensely flavored.

1:07:16I mean, at this point, you're trying to disrespect me. It's got to get better than that. Stuffing. It's got to get better. This guy. I almost had him. No, you didn't. I almost had him. I use gurgle-y's. Almost. Almost. Almost really quickly. It's Frank. It's Frank the doctor, the scientist with your degree in criminal. Oh, I apologize.

1:07:44Joe Santagato:Is my contribution to the show not enough for you? World traveler. World traveler. I'm not a world traveler. Been everywhere. I am not a world traveler. I very openly say that and am okay with that. Your Bachelor of Science in criminal whatever. Yeah. Yep. Got me with some factual information that proves my point. What actually was it? Bachelor of Science, criminal justice. Justice Dick in your mouth. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no.

1:08:20Oh, no. You got to hit him when he got him, please. Get to the mic. Get to the mic, hurry up. Got him! Oh my god. Also, you owe him$100. Why? Do you remember that? Oh, for all of us? No, we bet if we ever got somebody. Oh my god. Dude, you just ate that and you have to give him$100. That's crazy.

1:08:41Joe Santagato:You just ate that. Jesus. Oh my god. That was good. That was crazy. That's what it feels like? Yeah, yeah. It's not good, right? I feel dirty. I know. I feel filthy. You feel so dirty. Why don't you go home and jump in your bed? I will. Was my contribution not enough for you, sir? This better be good enough for my attention. That is a deflection from the points. He's pointing. Look at the points. Yeah, yeah. Ah, whatever. It's all right. You just got 100 bucks. I'm chilling. I mean, minus three. He just pointed at me thrice. I think it was twice. I think it was twice. I'll give it twice. This is ridiculous.

1:09:13Joe Santagato:I think it's not ridiculous. Oh, my God. You tried to get, and then he set a different trap, and then you got got. You know, I mean, honestly, the game of life sometimes is surprising, and I respect you all the more for it. The game of life is sometimes surprising. I respect you all the more for it. Good for you. Thank you. There's nothing I can do. I can't even try to come back with one now. I'm too, like... That was so good. I'm analyzing every word you say. No, no, no. I'm done. No, you can tell when he's doing it because it's a weird different light that comes from his eyes. I don't know how he does it.

1:09:48I honestly don't understand how you are so like in tune always on it did you know that his job is to be in tune yeah i gotta listen very intently no did i know you were doing it no that was good that got me well well because

1:10:03Joe Santagato:it was very targeted when it's targeted it's different frankie's is like wait can you repeat one more time what it what it was just this dick in your mouth that's good yeah i but for a second what I thought he was doing was I was like, here goes Frank just saying something that seems to show that he knows like a niche, like spice or something. But like, so that was like originally that what I was thinking. And then I was like, Oh, and then, well, I looked over at it and it already knew cause he went and I was like, fuck, if you had not done that, he may, might've, might've given it and been like stuffing.

1:10:42Joe Santagato:Maybe. I don't know. Balls in your mouth. That's what it would have been. Got it. Stuff with these balls in your mouth is hysterical. It's really something with your eyes. They light differently. Thank you. When you're excited. It might be like where he's like, like Keith, when he's doing something like that, it's always like, like, it's just this. It's just a little corner, one side of the mouth. I'm going to get you again. Because I've already gotten you twice. If anything, it's two to one. Yeah, but he got you after. We said we're going to do money. Yukon and suck on these. Yeah, the suck on.

1:11:13Joe Santagato:Oh, right. The suck on. That one got me too. Because I was like, this is probably a nostalgic drink or something. Joe did get you after we established money, so. That's fine. He can, but he's already, I'm already. Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water. To help you get the most out of your workout. And get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. Up, he's already owed me. So if anything, we're like even now. Was I down that much? No. but you know, we're getting there. Well, what were you talking about?

1:11:48Actually? I don't know. That was, that really derailed.

1:11:50Joe Santagato:Um, I was, uh, you had asked me to reference my, my, my bachelor's degree. Oh, it was what food we like as well. Oh yeah. I have it in my notes. And your food. Yeah. You do hate Mexicans. That's what you said. You said, I mean, that is an interesting one because that's such a, like, I feel like that's such a like well integrated part of our world now. Tacos and burritos. Yeah. Like, it's not like it's like, you know, oh, I don't like Indian food. Like, okay, like Indian food is very popular, but like you could go your life without having it. I feel like tacos and burritos is everywhere on every menu at every place you go to.

1:12:26Joe Santagato:Indian food. Unbelievable. Holy moly, dude. Very good. the first time i dipped garlic naan in that butter chicken sauce yo i still don't understand how naan is possible like where the way that they make it where they just stick it on the side and it doesn't fall yeah isn't that cool even when it's cooked though like how i don't know it's really cool though it's you've ever seen it like a in the stone like the stone thing yeah i think i think i actually think it's called yeah no no don't do that they just paid us damn it okay um I think it's called a tandoori oven.

1:13:07Joe Santagato:But I love seeing the video of them just fucking bang. Yeah. Smacking it up there. And it just stays. I'm like, what? This is crazy. Dude, I had a chili one. Like a spicy naan. I've only had garlic. Have you ever had, because you said you like Thai. Have you ever had Tom Yum soup? No.

1:13:36Joe Santagato:Too much? What's in it? I don't know, but whatever it is, it's out of this world, dude. I get like pad thai. It's like a spicy Thai soup. Yeah. Next time you order Thai, Tom Yum soup. I'll see if they have it. It's just when you put lime on stuff and it's like a taco. I'm good on the lime. Like, I don't eat it. But, like, there's so much more going on except live. I agree. I agree. Like, we had – I also said it the other day. I think that the breakfast burrito is, like, the best breakfast item that exists. It's got everything. Are we including, like – Any breakfast food. Any. Pancakes, waffles, French toast.

1:14:21I think those things are all good. But I think that, like, all things considered, the breakfast burrito – So versatile.

1:14:29Joe Santagato:I'm not going to argue that. That's good. I can see the argument and I will support it and appreciate it. I like when food is just jammed in and you can hold it all in one hand and just eat it. And not like I got to go digging for it on my plate. I'm fine. Yeah. I like more when it's chopped up though and then built than stacked and built. To where like the bacon is sometimes on this side and the egg is only over here. Wait, what? I agree with that. Do you know what I mean? I like when they mix it all up and then put it in the burrito because then it's like you're getting a little bit of everything in the same bite.

1:14:58Joe Santagato:Yeah. It's weird that I have to, like, to get everything, you know? I mean, I hear what you're saying. What you're doing is not a real thing to do. Trying to bite the whole thing, kind of. Like, when I go to, like, the times I've been to Chipotle, like, I'll, like, get all the chicken and rice at the top, and then the bottom is just lettuce and avocado. Yeah. Which I don't hate, but, like, I'm not there for that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, let's make this thing a little crazy. Oh, God. I was such a gutter slut for Chipotle in, like, 2010, 2011. you could not have convinced me that was not the greatest food on the planet.

1:15:31You know, the first time I had Chipotle, I was probably like 26, 7.

1:15:37Joe Santagato:That's old, brother. I know. I was refused. I was like on my Frankie shit. Do you remember when I visited you at college and we went and I was like, I'm not eating this. Yeah, because you said you wouldn't make it back in time without crapping your pants. Which is like not, like, I don't know why Chipotle has that reputation. I've never heard that reputation for Chipotle. I know that like Mexican food has the reputation for like it can kind of go through you, but I've never heard it specifically about Chipotle. Oh, I've heard that about Chipotle. But like Chipotle is just like, you know, they're spicy chickens, kind of spicy.

1:16:14Joe Santagato:I can't speak to the overall quality of Chipotle. I don't want to offend them as a company. But the first 10 times I had Chipotle in my life were near euphoric. Was it just hammered? No, they were all sober Okay I don't think I've ever had a drunk Chipotle That might fucking kill me Bowl? No, I've never gotten anything other than a burrito And I never will Okay It was before the shrinkflation thing Which, is that even real with Chipotle? I've never eaten Chipotle in the store My brother, like, usually caters it When we, like, go over for stuff And you just make your own oh so you i've never eaten chipotle in a chipotle have you ever gotten chipotle prepared by by a chipotle no i've only done my own so you haven't really you haven't really had chipotle and i'll accept that yeah i'll accept that that's a circle that's a circle baby full callback but i'm in agreement i if you guys were like you you haven't had it unless someone at the place makes it for you i'd be like yeah fair unless you walk up and you need to have every bit of information ready the minute they ask you.

1:17:23Joe Santagato:To be clear, your point has been more right the entire time. To be clear. Also, to watch them just go like this and it's like, there's no way that's going to fit. Oh. What the hell was that? I was just making conversation. His point has always been more right on what? We know. We know. We know. Have you guys seen, I don't know if you guys are on the same algorithm as me, but there's a place that does like these giant Caesar salad wraps and they put a ridiculous amount on this wrap and you're like, you have no fucking way. But they get it closed. And it's like this thick. No, but you know who's given Chipotle a run for their money?

1:18:05Joe Santagato:You ever had Dos Toros? In Manhattan? No. They're good, dude. I think I have had it once, but I don't remember at all. Dude, really, really good. It's like, what? It's basically the same thing as Chipotle, but just different enough to legally be. Different name. Yeah.

1:18:29Joe Santagato:You're in the doghouse, looks like. Take it both ways here. All right. What does that mean? I don't know. That's probably too much. Yeah, it was. It happens. But, yeah. I would say, oh, man. Italians up there, Greeks up there. Italians not that high for me. I feel like it's all kind of the same. Like, it's, like, good, obviously, but, like, pastas and, like, chicken parms. I've seen a lot of discourse online with people just saying, like, Italian food is more than pastas. And it's like, yeah, we know that, but, like, it is. But, like, you know. That's your Aaron Judge. I would say that tomato sauce is the flavor.

1:19:13What do you put pizza under? Do we get that?

1:19:15Joe Santagato:Sure. That's a really good question. I mean, you're starting to get it. Yeah, no. Yeah, you get... I saw something once that it was like the Chinese invented pizza or something like that. They invented literally everything. Probably. Literally everything. Noodles, everything. They're one of the oldest, like, still running civilizations. Yeah, probably. I mean, yeah, you got pizza, you got pasta, you got Mike Trout and Otani. The rest of the team sucks. Well, they're no longer on the same team. No, I know. I'm saying, like, they're the angels of whatever year they're going to be. I mean, no, I've never had like a bad Italian dish.

1:19:49Well, not that it sucks. It's like, it's just all this. It really feels like.

1:19:54Joe Santagato:Yeah, the heavy hitters, the heavy hitters are the pasta. That makes sense. But then the way that they, the way they do fish, good bronze. Bronzino. Really like Mediterranean food too, which might be. I guess technically Italian is, it borders the Mediterranean, right? Southern Italy. I think Italian is its own thing. A Mediterranean food is like a different thing. I mean, I think of Greek food. I think of... Like a Greek salad. Yeah, like... Fish. Isn't, like, Spain also bordering the Mediterranean? What? No. Okay, I'm... It's not even close. It's far. It's pretty far. Sorry, I'm wrong.

1:20:33Joe Santagato:Sorry, I'm wrong. I've wronged. What countries border the Mediterranean? Can you look that up for me, please? It's a good one. Also, you're leaving out desserts, tiramisu, cannolis. Yeah, I'm not a huge cannoli guy, although the one that you brought in was phantasmic. That was stupidly good. What was it? It was like... I actually want you to get some more from them, but I'll pay this time because I want to bring some home to Becca and the kids because when she saw that episode, she was like, holy shit. Uh-oh. Uh-oh! Oh! Go to the map. Ooh!

1:21:11What is that?

1:21:15Mediterranean seems pretty big here. All right. Let's fucking run through that again.

1:21:23Joe Santagato:Watch this. Doesn't Spain border the Mediterranean? No. It's out there.

1:21:33Joe Santagato:Fucking both of you. I was, I didn't. Yeah. God. Got me. There's a lot. So Mediterranean is everything? Pretty much. It's everything. You're also using Gemini. I would cross-reference this with another. It is. I'm talking about the maps. More reputable. The Mediterranean goes all the way through here. Well, okay. See, this is more what I thought. The Caspian? I honestly thought the Mediterranean was just surrounding Italy, Sicily, and up where Montenegro and Albania is. No, that's what it's saying. It's saying it's the whole thing here. I had no idea the Mediterranean was that big. I apologize, Frank.

1:22:16Joe Santagato:Oh, my God. I want to jump across this table and strangle you both until your eyes pop out of your sockets. I had no idea the Mediterranean went all that way. You know what? I'm not giving it. I would say it cuts off. You know what? I would say it cuts off like right there. Yeah, but it doesn't. It doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't. No, it really doesn't. I like Mediterranean food. You like all of the food. I mean, bordering the Mediterranean. I think that Mediterranean food is, I think it excludes Spain, France, and Italy. Because those are their own cuisines.

1:22:55What is considered Mediterranean food? It's a lot of fish. Yeah, it's like fish and fresh. Fresh and lemony. Salads and shit. Yeah.

1:23:02Joe Santagato:I would say, yes, all of Spain is not. The eastern coast of Spain, you could say, is Mediterranean. fare because a lot of countries used to have like different specializations in their foods depending on where they were like northern Italy's food is different from the southern part of Italy and stuff like that also like Greece and Italy it's the Mediterranean surrounds pretty much all of it Spain you know Spain's huge you get this whole other side yeah that's did I not say human words there i'm just having some fun no i mean no he's right i mean i had no idea that it bordered it um counting france seems even more crazy actually i mean that's a good part of southern france yeah it's a good part of france buddy it is all right congrats frankie you got another one i've been right for like 10 episodes in a row now and it's fucking crazy the amount of did you miss That's the first hour of this conversation.

1:24:04Joe Santagato:We were in a disagreement, but who sat here and planted the flag in your ass of being right? I don't even know how to answer that. Exactly. Yeah, but also the 15 minutes ago happened and... What was that? Justice. That's what it was. Oh. That was good. That doesn't make me wrong. That just makes me a victim.

1:24:26Joe Santagato:All right. Well, I think we can end there, right there in the Mediterranean Sea. For those who don't know Borders Spain And Algeria apparently I'd love to go to Algeria I've heard good things About Algeria? Yeah I've never been to Algeria I've never Oh I knew one Algerian person You know who I'm talking about Oh I don't remember She was a girl Narrows it down to several girls She

1:24:57Took her boobs out at a bar Oh That should narrow it oddly enough it doesn't no it was this was like during like a world cup and they were playing Belgium who they were playing doesn't make sense

1:25:11Joe Santagato:I'm just like remember you'll tell me later I have no other information I don't even know her name oh so then how the hell would I know I just knew she was Algerian it was the only Algerian person I've ever known so you know her heritage you don't know her name but you've seen her tits none of that was on me I'm not saying that you're held responsible here but I would imagine that you would at least know any more identifiable factors of that person I actually don't I mean she wasn't like our friend she came around a couple times I think one of her friends was hooking up with her and we were at a bar and she was like if the US wins I'll show everyone in the bar my boobs yelled that so everyone was super hyped and then the US lost and then she did it anyway that's a hero So is that the word we're using for that?

1:26:01That's the nicest I'll be. The FDNY and NYPD. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That girl. Yeah. Superman. Yeah. That girl. All right. Well, that's all we have, folks. Frank, where can they find you?

1:26:17Joe Santagato:You know where to find me. And after this, I'm going to be upset with Ant because he's completely threw me under the bus and said he thought your argument was better than mine, and I'm going to be pissed about it for an hour. There you go. Ant, where can they find you? Find me at antprisca. No, don't, don't, no. On Instagram, and that's how I got that one. What? I don't know. Why did you say that? Because I agreed with you. That's how I got that one. You said it very anime. You guys can go follow me at Joe Sanagawa. Go follow the show at The Base Meard on TikTok and Instagram, and that is all.

1:26:45See you guys next time.

1:26:57Welcome back to the Bay...

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