#553 -The Worst Urine Sample

9:01Frank Alvarez:so i would rather have that because there was a time that this wasn't the last time i gave a urine sample but it was the time before that i gave a urine sample and man you pissed i i mean i peed in it and like there was enough in there but boy oh boy was it it was brown it was like no brown i mean people piss brown i know but they're like i mean this was just like it was very very

9:25Joe Santagato:like a skittle yellow yeah and i was like damn i'm dehydrated i'm not even kidding i've pissed that color before of like the green screen i have well i remember when i was in what were you drinking just mountain dew no no no when i was in college i uh it's called something else no i was not drugs i mean maybe uh i was taking uh like workout supplement pills and uh i pissed like neon green and i was worried but i read the thing and it's like that's normal It's just excess vitamins and stuff. I was taking like Arnold Classic. What?

10:01Frank Alvarez:You were taking bodybuilding supplements?

10:04Joe Santagato:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. You know, I'm 21 at the time. Like if I'm ever going to do something stupid, that's the time. So you're pissing electric green. Basically, yeah. Wow. And that would have terrified me. What are you so giggly about over there? It's funny.

10:19Frank Alvarez:Did you pretend you were like Shrek or the Hulk or something?

10:22Joe Santagato:no you know what no i didn't i probably should have though what what is your reaction when that comes out of you immediately the first two or three times i was just like hold on what how many times did you pee and that lasted a long time i mean there's like a 30-day supply of the workout

10:36Frank Alvarez:supplements oh oh okay yeah damn that's terrifying i don't know i got head and shoulders in there

10:42Joe Santagato:once bro i didn't know where that story was going i was like i got head yeah and shoulders and then I'm like, also, what?

10:50Frank Alvarez:Wait, what? I got head and shoulders in there once.

10:53Joe Santagato:In where? Oh, in your piss hole? Why do you have head and shoulders? Are you washing your pubes? Well, like a dandruffy dick. What's going on, dude? Just ran down and got in there. Ran down and got, oh, because he's got such a big hole because it goes with his big old big old wang. Yeah, exactly. I mean, you need a big enough hole to let the pee exit that big old thing. Yeah, this guy's running through with a queso burrito in his pants.

11:14Frank Alvarez:So you're saying you put head and shoulders on your head and it ran down your body and got into your pee hole? Well, it was probably just while I was scrubbing. I'll say this.

11:22Joe Santagato:And then it burnt. I will say this. If any soap is getting in my pee hole, one of the top ones that I don't want to have in his head and shoulders, that shit is strong. Yeah, when it's on your head, it's like icy hot.

11:33Frank Alvarez:And it burnt. It burnt for like two days while I was peeing. Two days.

11:37Joe Santagato:You know, I got freaked out. Have you ever heard of the Dr. Bronner's soap? It's like the pure Castile soap. They have different flavors of scents and shit like that. Rick's eating it. No. It's like, I'm shocked. It's a very famous. It comes in a really recognizable bottle. It has like, it looks like the fucking entirety of the Bible's written on this bottle. Okay. And it's like super runny. And the first time I used it, my dad got the peppermint one. And I like used it everywhere. Brother, it was like I had just fucking face fucked a snowman. Yeah. Like my shit was ice cold. You're a wiener? Brother, like.

12:14Joe Santagato:Wow. Like it's like someone Like you just like Put your dick and balls in the freezer And then put them back on

12:22Frank Alvarez:That sounds kind of nice I'm shocked you don't have this

12:25Joe Santagato:On a hot summer day Pull up the soap You'll know what I'm talking about They have like different scents and shit like that What was the name? Dr. Bronner's Like the fucking The peppermint one Will just It'll burn the hair Out of your nostrils Dr. Bronner's Yeah there it is

12:42Frank Alvarez:Let me tell ya I've never seen this It looks like you clean carpets. I mean, it's like on the bottle. It looks like an under the sink type of thing.

12:49Joe Santagato:It's used as body wash. That's soap? It comes like that. Oh, it's magic. But like you can use it as like table cleaner. You can use it as laundry detergent. Like you can use it for a ton of shit. You just need to dilute it. This is too much for soap. I mean. I'm not diluting it. They also make the bars, brother.

13:08Frank Alvarez:This is. Wait, so you can use the same soap for your balls that you can for your floor. Yes. It's an 18 and one soap. Yes, dude. I'm serious. 18 and one. How is there 18 things to even clean?

13:22Joe Santagato:Yo, this shit. See? She's got it. She knows. Can you pull up the 18? She's probably got the coldest tits on the planet.

13:29Frank Alvarez:Yes.

13:30Joe Santagato:Oh, the peppermint one? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

13:31Frank Alvarez:I'll look up. Well, you guys keep going. I'll look up what the 18 things you could use for honors.

13:35Joe Santagato:I need to know. Yo. I can think of body, counter, floor. What are we talking about? It's like you can like sprinkle it on your fucking. Your car? Like you could use it as like in the toilet cleaner. Like it's, bro, it's super intense. And it's fucking crazy. How is that possible? I don't know. They make this shit. I don't fucking make it. That's insane, dude. I've never heard of this before in my life. But I'm cleaning and I'm just like, yo, this is crazy, dude. And it just like lit your body up like a Christmas tree? I'm not kidding. it felt like I was standing butt naked in Antarctica. Did you feel like super clean when you got out?

14:14Joe Santagato:I felt like I was the cleanest since I had come straight out the womb. Wow, yeah. Like I've never in my life been that clean and I never will ever again.

14:22Frank Alvarez:That sounds like nice. I kind of like that feeling because like I've used head and shoulders before and then your head is just like it feels like there's steam coming off of it.

14:30Joe Santagato:It's called head and shoulders because it feels like your head and your shoulders are one. Yeah, yeah. Kind of numb. They're all numb. All of it is numb. It fucking runs down before it gets to his dick. It runs down your shoulders and it just feels you.

14:43Frank Alvarez:I don't know how that got in your pee hole. This is one like.

14:44Joe Santagato:Yeah, also just like pure just gravity. It happens. Were you just like showering with a boner?

14:50Frank Alvarez:Yeah, is your pee hole facing up? Yeah. It was just like while I was scrubbing everything, I guess I got brushed. Oh, I know what it is. You were scrubbing and you were scrubbing. Everyone's having a good time. Do you want to hear the 18 things? Oh.

15:07Frank Alvarez:Where the hell did that come from? What even was it? I don't even know. Oh, that's what you were doing earlier. Before we started, he was like, oh, I... Before we started, he was like, oh, I just got to, like, fix myself, whatever. And I was like, yo, you good over there? Like, what are you doing? So you had that stroke yourself bit for, like... He held onto it for 15 minutes. 15 minutes. What is that? Yeah Right

15:37Joe Santagato:I don't know I just found it in the garbage over there And I decided it'd be funny What Where is this coming What is this

15:46Frank Alvarez:It's coming out of your back I just found it And I thought doing some prop comedy Would be funny Some prop comedy It would be funny Oh my god He really enjoyed that I don't even know what that's from Are you crying I was doing some desk cleaning. I threw that out. I guess. Did you go through my garbage? It was right there. It was over there. In the garbage? Yeah. So you walk around this place and you saw a piece of garbage and you're like, I have an idea.

16:18Joe Santagato:It's just phallic enough to look like a wiener. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And God almighty, I'm fucking crying. It's a kid, bro. Loves it.

16:28Frank Alvarez:Did you find the 18 things? I found something, yeah. Is there anything strange? Well, it could be used. So Frankie's soap that he used as a child.

16:37Joe Santagato:Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, use it now? I still use it now.

16:40Frank Alvarez:Right.

16:41Joe Santagato:You still have that? Oh, yeah.

16:42Frank Alvarez:Can be used for face, body, hair, bath, shaving, teeth, feet, congestion, dishes. Hold up. Back up. Teeth. Soap for your teeth? I mean. Maybe mouth.

16:56Joe Santagato:Yeah. Why can't you?

16:58Frank Alvarez:You're speed running this. Oh, sorry. Start from teeth. Well, I was trying to get to. Start from the beginning. I was trying to do the normal things first. I'm starting from the beginning. Face, body, hair. Yeah. The bath. What is the bath? Put it in his bubble bath. Makes bubble. Could make a bubble bath. Shaving.

17:13Joe Santagato:Shaving. That's like maybe like an aftershave or something? Soap? I don't know. Teeth. Teeth.

17:21Frank Alvarez:Teeth is insane. I'm going to brush my teeth with soap. Teeth. Feet. Congestion.

17:29Joe Santagato:Congestion. No, dude, I'll tell you. You rub a little bit of that under your nose, You'll breathe fucking better than you ever have Shoot this thing, it's my sinus And then it goes dishes

17:38Frank Alvarez:The laundry The laundry And then it just goes your floors Your general cleaning of the house, windows Yeah dude I can clean my windows and my teeth Simultaneously

17:52Joe Santagato:Your windows and your asshole, the two cleanest parts in the Fucking house Then it goes toilets, you can clean produce, dogs Plants, dogs

18:01Frank Alvarez:And it could keep away ants It can keep away ants Yo what is going on With this thing This is an outrageous Marketing scheme

18:13Joe Santagato:Yo I mean no dude it's like magic Keep away ants Yo I'm not kidding Some of the shit I like one day You know when you like don't go to the bathroom And you don't have your When you go to the bathroom you don't have your phone on you And you just like read whatever is in like arm's reach i read the bottle and it's like this is miracle from god's soap that could do anything oh so they're humble are you fucking kidding me yo it's this fucking soap will do

18:44Frank Alvarez:everything yo clean your teeth suck your dick keep away the roaches you can put it in your mattress you can sleep on it you can jerk off with it you can eat it taste good i'm not kidding if you jerk

18:57Joe Santagato:off with this thing, you would burn the fucking skin off your body. That's great. Does it have any other scents? Yes, so there's like lavender, there's like, I think a eucalyptus one.

19:09Frank Alvarez:Which one are you currently using?

19:11Joe Santagato:The last one, we haven't used it in like a couple, we ran out and we haven't gotten a new one yet, but the lavender one is fucking good.

19:17Frank Alvarez:I believe the peppermint one specifically is probably for ants, because I know ants hate peppermint, like anti-ant spray is peppermint sprays. I know that.

19:25Joe Santagato:Not the ones I buy. I didn't know that. So if we want you to get out of here, we're just going to dump this on you. You filthy little. And we'll make sure it doesn't get in your pee hole. Yeah, please. Dude, they have, I'm telling you right now. That's insane. Do you, I'm sure, Nicole probably knows about it. Because she, I know she's very like health conscious and like, you know, stuff like that. That is something that you should have in your home.

19:47Frank Alvarez:Bro, I'll tell you this right now. Love her to death. But if she brought this home and was like. Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands you need From athletic stuff, like a full-court pickup game Swish! To athletic-ish stuff, like a half-mile stroll Get those steps in! And for morning hikes up the mountain trail Good pace! To nighttime ghost stories from the camping chair What a twist! Whatever level of active, Sierra loves it all Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want At the prices that let you do it all From athletic to athletic-ish Sierra's got it And it replaced our toothpaste

20:26Joe Santagato:I'd be like what are you doing I'm not I didn't know the tooth one I might try that I might try it why not

20:33Frank Alvarez:Please brush your teeth with

20:35Joe Santagato:Like whatever I mean the magic soap I mean how I don't know how you could What would you like mix it in with your toothpaste Maybe it's just

20:44Frank Alvarez:A mouthwash maybe

20:45Joe Santagato:But it's not it's very thin Like it's very like it's non-viscous So like it's like water really yeah so you're it's not like a gel soap okay it's just like pure fucking soap it comes out like water yeah dude fucking pull up a video of this shit i'll take your word for it pull up a

21:04Frank Alvarez:video of soap i can take your word for it but that's okay so maybe you just you just so but

21:11Joe Santagato:they say like dilute like if you were to like sit in it i'm sure it probably wouldn't be very good

21:15Frank Alvarez:for your skin you'd get some form of irritation you don't have to sit well i'm not saying sit in the thing. But also, like, I'm sure whatever

21:22Joe Santagato:you're cleaning or using it for, it's different levels of dilution. Like, you put, like, a little bit into your laundry. A lot of people swear by that stuff because it's a more natural Yeah. Like, detergent soap cleaner than, like, if you go and buy, no offense to fucking big laundry detergent, but, like, what is the blue goop? Yeah, I have no idea.

21:44Frank Alvarez:I mean, I am open to the idea that this works. It's just funny. yeah you could it's a like teeth and dogs being on the same list as windows like and your own face and your butthole it's like outrageous and it keeps away insects and pests right yeah i mean

22:03Joe Santagato:it's it's not cheap like that bottle right there is probably like that said 18 bucks it's it's not cheap that's a lot but you don't need a lot like that bottle will last you like two three months yeah that could take out a whole ant colony bro that'll fucking do everything you want if you Spring cleaning in a single bottle.

22:21Frank Alvarez:You know the jokes that people make of, oh, guys, shampoo, 13-in-1, hair conditioner? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You managed to find an 18-in-1. 18-in-1 is crazy. That goes out of the bathroom. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Isn't that cool? Yeah, it's something. It is. It's not nothing.

22:35Joe Santagato:Well, the ones that you're referencing is like, it's hair, it's shampoo, conditioner, body wash, aftershave, and fucking who knows what else in one.

22:46Frank Alvarez:You know what's funny? I don't know if you guys did this when you were younger, but when I was super young, my parents would be like, all right, you got to go take a shower. So I would take a shower and then I would come down and then my dad would be like, did you use soap? And I didn't, but I would lie. Oh, I said, oh, I use shampoo.

23:07Joe Santagato:And he's like, what? Oh, like you would you would shower without bathing yourself properly? Like I wouldn't use soap. I vaguely remember that, but I don't know if that's still a thing.

23:19Frank Alvarez:I don't know why, but I just wouldn't use soap. Not all the time, but there would be times I wouldn't use soap. So every single time I would come out, my dad would be like, did you use soap? And I would be like, oh, no. Well, I'll tell you this. And they'd be like, get back upstairs and go take a shower. Or I would lie, and I'd be like, oh, I used shampoo, which I also didn't do.

23:39Joe Santagato:So you just walked in, got wet, and walked out.

23:41Frank Alvarez:Yeah, this is when I was super young. But I remember it, so I must have been

23:44Joe Santagato:I imagine that still does something, though Like you wash away the stinky The sins of the day

23:50Frank Alvarez:Dude, maybe you never washed away your something And that's why you don't stink under the armpits Maybe It's not that I never did That's a great point But it was like, I was very young Like I was like under 10 While this was happening

24:05Joe Santagato:Well, first of all, that's when kids are like fucking filthy Like rolling around in the fucking literally like in the dirt and shit like that like that's when you probably need a bath or shower the most there is like kids are deathly afraid of like soap and shit like that because it's about getting it once you get it in your eyes once you're like oh yeah it's the devil

24:28Frank Alvarez:you know what at what age do like you like take a bath with your siblings young like because i i like remember i have like a memory of it yeah yeah i recently went through a bunch of family

24:42Joe Santagato:pictures and there were pictures there and i said like we didn't need to take a picture of this you know but like do you know what age like four um i would say like four and under i think around five it gets a little like you gotta start separate yeah like it gets a little weird

24:59Frank Alvarez:yeah but i i have a memory of like i think i've told this story before but like i was in the bath with keith and he laughed and a giant blood clot came out of his nose like it was just like this

25:11Joe Santagato:and i was like and i think we all screamed yeah i i i think that uh kids are just afraid of soap because of like the thought of it getting in their eye and there was so much when we were kids soap like marketed at us as like tear free you know like remember the ones that came in like it was like the l 'oreal the fish yeah you know and then they had the ones i never remember what they were called but they were like bars of soap that were in like a mesh pocket yes i forgot the

25:39Frank Alvarez:i loved those i forgot what they were called oh that was a good one the tear free i think they

25:43Joe Santagato:still they still probably do bro i love the like johnson and johnson like gold baby shampoo is the best smelling one of the best smells on the planet yeah i don't know that one i got head and shoulders in my eyes yes you have to stop with the pausing i got head and uh head and shoulders in my eyes yesterday that hurt are you head and shouldering every day i guess it's just inside of me what he's asking you haven't said anything on this episode that you can't like

26:15Frank Alvarez:that isn't sexual i oh yeah that's a good point um you use head and shoulders every day a lot yeah i mean you probably should you should didn't no you're not supposed to but i do no you you're

26:26Joe Santagato:you're supposed to use it very regularly i i went i like sat through like a presentation from them

26:32Frank Alvarez:once you sat through a presentation of head and shoulders yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean he did he did he did it too he paused a little bit after head did i yeah you did oh yeah i was like i wasn't at

26:44Joe Santagato:the presentation i did a i did a deal with them oh and they were just like it was like at a football game it was at a giants game and they were just like our head and shoulders guy is here so we're gonna like teach you guys about it and and it was honestly like insightful like i can't

27:02Frank Alvarez:say anything bad about it i thought it was like a not medical grade but it's like above shampoo

27:08Joe Santagato:in a way of like if you're dealing with dandruff use this well to my understanding it's actually meant to be more and i should probably contact my head and shoulders connect and see if they can give us more accurate info but like it's meant to be more preventative than it is to like deal with it so like they say that you're supposed to use it regularly because it's like it kills a certain bacteria that creates dandruff on your scalp or something like that i thought it was interesting

27:33Frank Alvarez:you know i'll throw it on every now and again if i don't use it for like if i use different shampoo for a few days like i'll get dandruff bad back but do you do you uh shampoo and conditioner like do you condition your hair i don't condition well i think that's a problem i don't i don't it

27:50Joe Santagato:It makes my hair flat. Well, first of all, conditioner is not supposed to be used on the whole head. It's only supposed to be used on the end of the hair. Yeah, yeah. But that's not where dandruff comes from. Dandruff comes from the scalp. I know, but I'm assuming that if you have dry hair, that has some sort of effect. But I don't think the hair matters. It's the scalp. The hair is connected to the scalp. Yeah, but when you're doing, to my understanding, when you're doing like, my hair is not long enough right now, but like the conditioner is supposed to be used on like the outer part of the hair in theory it's not really supposed to get on your scalp well i'm saying like if but if but if you don't condition

28:26Frank Alvarez:your hair right and it gets a little dry or if you have that type of hair that does get dry i would think that the thing that is coming out of your head would have some sort of effect on the

28:36Joe Santagato:moisture of i don't know no but the we're all guessing the issue of dandruff is at the base of your hair like on your scalp so if you're conditioning your hair you're not attacking

28:49Frank Alvarez:the the issue no i understand what you're saying i i mean i just i just don't know is it bad i didn't know that conditioner was only for the tips i didn't i didn't i learned that late in

28:59Joe Santagato:life i don't know that that's like a gigantic issue oh okay i mean i don't know i learned that

29:04Frank Alvarez:late in life as well i i have not recently but when i was younger i would condition my hell yeah yeah just because yeah now we're getting somewhere i was like i would just condition these let's get these more can you show us how you would do it no um i would just be like you know what i'll just like get these things going so they're nice and silky smooth but we do have some sponsors oh we're going from silky smooth pubes to our sponsors yes uh we do have some the first one being ZocDoc so ZocDoc is a free app or website that helps you find and book high quality network doctors so you can find someone that you love okay before they were sponsored on the show I used to use ZocDoc I mean I still use them if I had to go to the dermatologist and I plug in my health insurance and then I get a list of doctors in my area which ones are closest to me and what their rating is their patient reviewed out of five and what their next available appointments are.

30:03Frank Alvarez:I was able to get an appointment that afternoon at that time. But sometimes it's usually within 48 hours that you can get an appointment. So it's very helpful in finding doctors in your area that take your insurance. So it's very helpful for that. So don't put off any of your doctor's appointments anymore for whatever you need. If you want a primary care physician or you want a dermatologist or some sort of specialist, you can do that. But yeah, just go to ZocDoc.com slash basement to get started and find an instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash basement. All right.

30:39Frank Alvarez:ZocDoc.com slash basement. Go get to it, folks. And we also have Wayfair. Okay. Wayfair, they make furniture. They have every style, every outdoor space, whether your vibe is like modern or coastal or farmhouse or whatever else these things are. They have a bunch of furniture. affordable stuff too that is within budget and they have you know they they uh they they whatever your budget is they have furniture for you is what i'm trying to say um but yeah they have delivery that you can trust over 20 million verified five-star reviews um but yeah so they have everything and also the summer's coming around so if you need some more you know new patio furniture or indoor furniture or you know whatever you need they got it so you can get prep for patio season for way less head to wayfair.com right now to shop all things home that's wayfair spelled w-a-y-f-a-i-r

31:32Joe Santagato:dot com uh yeah every style every home get to it wayfair patreon.com slash the basement yard listen i'm not here to mess around right now okay i'm strictly business frank you wanted business frank you got business frank let me take off my frank hat and put on my business hat uh listen i don't know if you want more of us in your life i hope you do because we love having you in our life. The love and support you've given us has been overwhelming and we appreciate it. And one of the best ways to love and support us, support really, the love you could do on your own time, patreon.com slash the basement yard.

32:03Joe Santagato:You go over, check out, it's our exclusive stuff we got over there. You sign up for that first year, you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance, seven whole days. So when you're scrolling on social media and you say, whoa, that's a clip, what episode is that from? And someone's like, oh, it's Patreon exclusive. You can know that. You can see that if you're under that first year or that second year, not only do you get the benefits of that first year but then you get exclusive episodes every single friday and i'll tell you right now they get crazy okay on the last one ant was bending over the table and we were spanking him with stuff it was kind of all out of control i'm kidding we didn't do that he asked us not to put that in the episode so go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard you guys have been unbelievably overwhelmingly supportive and we are so lucky and so appreciative and we want to keep giving you more of what you guys like which according to you is us so we want to give that to you.

32:49Joe Santagato:So go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. And if you want to save yourself some money while you're doing it, go check it out on a web browser. Okay. If you use the app, whether it be from the Google play store or from the app store on iPhones, they're going to take some extra money from you just because they got to pay the lizard tech overlords. So go on a web browser, go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. You'll save yourself some money if you want to sign up and you know, uh, uh, mother's day is coming up. Father's day is coming up. Graduations are coming up there's you know you can give it as a gift as well so patreon.com slash the basement yard thank you so much let's keep rocking and rolling back to you joe let's keep rocking and rolling yeah well what's wrong with that you don't like to rock and or roll it's kind of uh

33:34Frank Alvarez:what is rock and roll like i get the rock no but why is that what they call the music but like yeah i mean because you rock and roll to it where's the rolling like you roll on the floor

33:46Joe Santagato:Like they were used to, that music came along and they used to like trip to it. You know what I mean? I guess. So they would be like, whoa, and then they'd like fall over themselves.

33:55Frank Alvarez:You know what dance move white people love?

33:59Joe Santagato:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucking, I don't hate it. Boomers love that. I don't hate it. Well, because the boomers were like, you know, in their like 30s or 20s in the 70s. And that's when that was big. because it would be like this and then every now and then they throw in a yeah oh my god my mom's

34:20Frank Alvarez:a big pointer she likes to point she's always like there is i point that i one time i one time

34:24Joe Santagato:came across a tiktok and it's like someone their whole account is just dedicated to like dancing like a middle-aged white woman at a party yeah and it's just that it's just like you know just all that while they have a yeah yes who taught white boomer women in america to dance with

34:46Frank Alvarez:pointing also uh when they clap at weddings i've noticed that that that generation they clap but the fingers are out so like nicole kidman do you remember her clapping yeah she's got hands like

34:58Joe Santagato:the grinch brother she clapped and her fingers were behind our ears i was like yo pull see if you could find that clip. I'll try. She clapped and it was like, it was like the Grinch's fingers. You know what I'm talking about? Like they curled backwards or something.

35:15Frank Alvarez:Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands you need from athletic stuff, like a full court pickup game, swish, to athletic stuff, like a half mile stroll. Get those steps in. And for morning hikes up the mountain trail, good pace. It's a nighttime ghost choice from the camping chair. What a twist. Whatever level of active, Sierra loves it all. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. She's like double, triple jointed.

35:47Joe Santagato:Yeah, and that was also how they danced suggestively in the 70s. They'd be like... And then they'd do the point at themselves. Come over here. Come over here, point at you, point at me and you in here.

36:00Frank Alvarez:Have you ever, you know in movies where there's that moment where you're kind of like at a place, then you lock eyes with someone across the room, and then everything kind of like gets out of the way, and then you make your way over? Have you ever done that in real life?

36:15Joe Santagato:I mean, I think I've done it with Becca, but like not like to the point. No, no, no, I'm talking about like. Where it's like it's no one, and I just like. Yeah, it's not a person you know. It's just a person. no i i i when we were like of like dancing club age club age like it was i was always like do you want to dance i always made it a specific point to ask well that's what i mean like if you

36:39Frank Alvarez:saw someone you'd be like oh and then you walk over and then you kind of ask you like you get here and then you're in it already no no i'm saying you're in a place right and you see this girl across and you guys kind of make eye contact and then you're like you're looking and it's like oh we are staring at each other so it's like i'm gonna go over there and then like it feels like everyone's kind of moving out the way and then you make your way over and you're like oh like

37:03Joe Santagato:you're in some truman show shit like everyone's just like all right they've made contact everyone

37:07Frank Alvarez:back up something like that i feel like that happens in movies the only time i think it was

37:12Joe Santagato:ever like when i danced with that old broad at the fucking wedding i went to there's got to be a better way to say that. Yeah. Pull it.

37:22Frank Alvarez:I don't know.

37:23Joe Santagato:If this is real and not edited, these are long fingers. This has to be. I think it is real because when it happened at first, everyone was just like, yo. Oh my God. Bro, her hands, like, it looks like she's clapping. Like, it looks like two Venn diagrams are meeting in the middle. Dude, I don't even, I don't even think I could do.

37:40Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

37:41Joe Santagato:She's like, it looks like the Zodiac sign

37:43Frank Alvarez:for Pisces. Yes.

37:46Joe Santagato:It looks like when you Those like Newton balls on the string Are like hitting each other

37:51Frank Alvarez:Listen no disrespect to Nicole Kidman But if that's real you got long fingers Also the Instagram handle I didn't vet that There are gay animals you know that right

38:03Joe Santagato:Yes penguins are gay Not all of them I'm not saying all of them

38:07Frank Alvarez:Do you guys know about the penguin The lone penguin We talked about it on this episode Oh, that was here? Yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, you've heard this.

38:16Joe Santagato:No? Bro, you know the long penguin? Bro, there were like - Long? Lone. There was like at this zoo. I think it was in Australia or somewhere. There was gay.

38:23Frank Alvarez:No, it wasn't zoo.

38:25Joe Santagato:Wait, what are you talking about? Like the gay?

38:27Frank Alvarez:No, that's not what I'm talking about. Oh, wait, what are you talking about? Nothing gay. Nothing gay.

38:30Joe Santagato:Oh, mine had gay penguins.

38:32Frank Alvarez:No, no, I know the gay. Yeah, the gay one. But this, no, this is like the - Gay penguin. Type in like, look at - Don't - Sorry, I'm gay penguin. Type in, uh - Penguin walking away Just do that Lone penguin walking away Just penguin walking away Walking to mountain Yeah, yeah, do that, do that, do that, do that Where'd you see mountain? I mean, you gotta back up Are you type like you're a thousand years old? It's over there It's over there Yeah, yeah, yeah This one? What do you need? A Werner Herzog one? That's gonna blow the fucking I mean, let's not play the audio here But just go to the images, it's fine

39:07Joe Santagato:There is a penguin And he is walking away

39:11Frank Alvarez:so this is so all the way to the right you see all the way to the right click that so that i mean i guess these are all like photos but there's a video of this of a penguin who's just taking off for the mountains just doing its thing right doesn't give a fart and look look look where is that japan he like i don't know but he broke away from the pack and he was just going for it and then people turned it into this thing that's like Like, the penguin obviously is never going to survive without the colony if he goes for the mountains. But he just, like, desperately – he's after something more. Oh, so they're using it as, like, motivation to, like, chase your dreams.

39:50Frank Alvarez:Something like that. And it's like, but why? And, like, all this stuff. And, you know, it's supposed – the interpretation is this very motivational –

40:00Joe Santagato:Nihilist – up – nihilist? I don't know what that word means. Penguin mean, like –

40:06Frank Alvarez:But then I, so I watched a video on this and it was so moving and the music was just like incredibly motivating and all this stuff. And the explanation and the interpretation of what was happening was, was like, you know, moving. And then in the comments, there was someone being like, yeah, what actually is happening is that there's something going on in this penguin's brain. and it's like basically going off to like hill itself oh no like not that it's gonna go i was

40:39Joe Santagato:just saying i was looking at it was just like it's running like the kids from weapons you know well that's how they kind of run i guess penguins are so cute penguins are cute we were talking about the we were referencing the one where it was like a story of like two male penguins got together and they were like their soulmates and stuff like that and then one of them died and like the penguin like crew like in solidarity for this morning gay penguin like sang a song for it it's beautiful it is pretty pretty touching you know penguins they like take rocks and they put rocks in front of the female well penguins are one of the few animals that like mate for life it's like penguins lobsters mate for life yeah like they what does that mean like they're like Like, yo, this is my penguin lady.

41:27Frank Alvarez:Oh, they're loyal, you mean. They're monogamous.

41:29Joe Santagato:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I think lobsters are like that too, you know? Really?

41:34Frank Alvarez:Why would?

41:35Joe Santagato:I don't fucking make up the rules here. Why are they monogamous? I don't know why. I mean, but like, look at the lions. Lions will like go in, fuck someone, and be like, I'm going to, everyone here is getting it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? I think gorillas are like that too. It's like, yo, I'm the biggest one. I beat up everyone else. Yeah, and then I was at the zoo and I read a thing that was just like, if a fucking new lion comes into the pack, they'll like, if there are any cubs, they'll fight the head of the pack or pride or whatever they're called, fuck them up, kill them. And then if they had any cubs, they'll take them out too.

42:12Joe Santagato:And it's like, yo, this is fucking, this is some crazy shit, dude. Lobsters do not mate for life.

42:21Frank Alvarez:Really? No, they do serial monogamy where it's kind of like the lions where there's a bunch of females and they – Oh. Oh, so he's like, yo, I'll get my eight but I'll keep it.

42:30Joe Santagato:Oh, so he's like Mormon wives shit. Sure. Like sister wives and the shit.

42:35Frank Alvarez:But yeah. And the shit. Because I remember something like they lay so many eggs and they have to – either way.

42:41Joe Santagato:I mean, no, no, I'm not – that was what was like a thing. Like you've never heard like people on like – remember like those old like Tumblr coded things where it's just like you're my lobster. because lobsters are they mate for life or some shit i guess i'm a fucking idiot and i just bought into it i'll tell you what you know what uh termites termites mate for life yeah they can go and die isn't that surprising termite termites can go and fucking die i know they're i know they're important to like the ecosystem i don't think they are so hold on they definitely are

43:10Frank Alvarez:i just found this penguin thing right listen to the song

43:17Frank Alvarez:so it's just like that right and then this is what the caption is it says In 2007, Werner Herzog filmed a lone penguin breaking away from his colony. Instead of heading to the sea to feed, he turned toward the interior of Antarctica, a 70-kilometer death march towards the mountains. Science calls this disoriented. Biology calls it a mistake. But perhaps this is the same mistake that drove our ancestors out of the caves. The urge to discover is a dangerous one. It defies the logic of survival. it demands that you leave the safety of the crowd to pursue a mountain that only you can see civilization wasn't built by those who stayed at the feeding grounds it was built by those who asked what is over there regardless of the cost if you feel the pull of the unknown you aren't broken you are just one of the few heading for the mountains you uh you were having a very self

44:05Joe Santagato:reflective day that day why i mean like i could see you just being like thinking back on santa gato studios and you know everything and like i'm the penguin no no i just think that's like a that's not a bad thing i mean it does apply to your life like you did do that i kind of just

44:20Frank Alvarez:think it was a dumb penguin maybe but also well that's what the comments eventually went to like which i it was just funny the comedy in it is that you read that you're like wow that's so cool and then you read the comments and someone's like while that explanation is poetic science suggests the penguin isn't actually trying to end its life but its internal gps is basically broken this happens because of brain injuries sickness or parasites that mess with their navigation the penguin thinks it's headed towards the water but its broken compass is actually leading it the wrong way and its instincts are too stubborn to turn back yeah i mean it's also like just let it

44:55Joe Santagato:go i mean it's also it helps like you reading it doesn't do it justice when you have fucking german ass werner herzog and he's just like this penguin is going to discover you know like that

45:07Frank Alvarez:shit sounds cool but yeah it's kind of like you remember the um the angler fish where they're like oh it never saw light and it desperately wanted to see light you don't remember that no we talked about a little one and it was that has like the light i know what you're talking about

45:20Joe Santagato:oh and you didn't see oh is that like the evolutionary like evolutionarily like evolutionary explanation for it like it didn't see light so it wanted to so it made its own light

45:33Frank Alvarez:sometimes like i don't know but it was like it all this this thing lived in the dark and it just wanted to see the light before it died because it died but there's a there's a comment that's good and it's an ai photo of the penguin walking with jesus and it says he was not alone i don't know it's just funny i mean he was not alone god walked with that penguin that had the parasite in his head no jesus that's what i meant this guy doesn't even know his own hierarchy of deities. People are getting deep in the comments. One person posted a photo of a random person looking at the stars and it said, should I go left?

46:10Frank Alvarez:Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands you need. From athletic stuff, like a full court pickup game, swish, to athletic stuff, like a half mile stroll. Get those steps in. And for morning hikes up the mountain trail, good pace. It's a nighttime ghost choice from the camping chair. What a twist. Whatever level of active, Sierra loves it all. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. Nothing is right or right where nothing is left.

46:45Joe Santagato:Damn it, honestly, that kind of hits. That kind of fucking hits. Whoa! I'm not gonna...

46:49Frank Alvarez:What was it? Should I go left where nothing is right? Or go right where nothing is left?

46:56Joe Santagato:I have to like once a week, if not once every other week, my TikTok algorithm turns into that where it's all just like emotional motivating a lot of it is also like okay letters to my wife and it's just like you are my home and stuff like that so like i need it like i'll do that and then i'll reset it back to like the sopranos or you know people did why because like i get too emotional with that stuff yeah you know like i think i said recently on this show like it was like for a while it was videos of like people giving little kids baseballs at baseball games yeah yeah and like that shit fucking it punches me in the chest so like i have to like come back down and just be like all right this this can't be like sappy stuff i need to laugh every now and then because if i just get sad and cry it's not going to be good for me you know you want to hear something cute

47:44Frank Alvarez:that i'm like this is such a great tradition but like geo when he goes to hockey games he'll immediately before we go to the seats he goes to the store and he buys a puck and he gives it to a kid that he just sees a kid he's like and he gives him like a little kid i give him yeah dude and so now but like he kind of like it has included us in that so he'll go and get three pucks for like me and espon we just give them out to kids dude every game when i i know like i said this when i

48:08Joe Santagato:went to the the pokemon card show like i was talking with my brothers and i found myself i wasn't getting emotional but like i was getting worked up also had a drink or two and i was saying like fresh off that peppermint shampoo yeah the peppermint shampoo and a fucking and like like two guinness no i said like stuff like that like i have like issues with like a whole like pokemon card collecting it like world right now because it is in theory as it is bigger now than it ever has been it is kind of gatekeeping its fandom like you're putting these cool cards that are meant to be for kids and accessible and there are hundreds if not millions of dollars hundreds of thousands of dollars and shit like that like it so like what we what my brothers and i did is we bought packs and we were going around and like we saw like there were like two kids sitting on the floor and they were having fun like looking at their binders and shit like that and we gave it to like so shit like that with the pucks bro that fucking gets me man like i'm not even kidding it gets me emotional because it's the stuff like you are in theory something that was emotional and and happy and brought you joy you're just trying to give that to somebody else like In that moment, it's not about what you're giving them.

49:23It's about the memory and the feeling.

49:26Joe Santagato:And that's fucking incredible.

49:27Frank Alvarez:Especially when I was young. I mean, I would barely go to games. But if I caught a foul ball, dude, that would be the highlight of my life. Dude.

49:35Joe Santagato:Have you ever caught? Oh, you have caught a ball. I've caught home runs. No. So I caught two balls in one game that I remember. Maybe there were other ones that I don't. Two in one game? Two in one game. So we were sitting. It was Yankees at the time, Indians.

49:54Joe Santagato:And I was sitting behind the bullpen. And, you know, like the kids were leaning over the bullpen. And Mariano Rivera threw a ball up. And it like rolled around. And I grabbed it. And I still to this day have it. And I couldn't believe it, bro. I was. Yeah, Moe threw you a ball? Moe gave me a ball. Also, you got me that Moe ball. That's cool. Because like he held that. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then at the end of the game. The game ended with a pop-out to center field. Johnny Damon caught it. And he turned around and he threw it. And, brother, I was looking at the person next to me talking to him, and it landed in my lap.

50:32Joe Santagato:In my fucking lap? But you were in the balls? Yo, and I gave it to our, like, not like a friend friend, but, like, we know him through, like, friends and stuff like that in the neighborhood. Gave it to his little brother as, like, you can have this. Yeah. I was told a week later he, like, drew on it and ripped it up and shit like that.

50:50Frank Alvarez:So I ripped up a baseball. What is he? Like a dog?

50:53Joe Santagato:Just basically like playing catch with it and shit like that on the pavement. You know? But yeah. So like that was fucking cool.

51:01Frank Alvarez:What was the moral of that story?

51:04Joe Santagato:It goes against what I'm saying in my current. But like at the time I was just like. Don't give kids. Yeah. At that age I was like I'm the little kid here. Give it to me. Right. You know? But. And then I got one where we went to the Padres game. That's right. All I wanted was a ball Oh yeah

51:23Frank Alvarez:At the Padres game They would get the balls afterwards And then the kid would just sit with them or whatever And Frank's like I'm going to try and get a ball He's wearing a bucket hat He has a blue tongue because he just ate An ungodly amount of cotton candy I was like I think they're going to give you one

51:40Joe Santagato:Well no Because it's a different thing now If you go to any baseball game Every one of those balls They're tagged. They're tagged and they're sold in the store. And then you can scan a QR code and it'll tell you all the pitches it's used for, what happened with it, yada, yada, yada.

51:55Frank Alvarez:Oh, that's kind of cool.

51:56Joe Santagato:Yeah. And so, like, I thought, like, there's no way they're going to give me a ball now because they're just going to lose money. Yeah. I got the ball, brother. Hey, you got to ask. And do you remember what I did with that ball? Nope. You don't remember? No. Kept it. It's mine. No little kids getting that ball.

52:12Frank Alvarez:Oh, yeah. I was like, I feel like you kept it, but I don't know if you did something. Did you get them, like, framed?

52:20Joe Santagato:No.

52:21Frank Alvarez:You just have them? Yeah.

52:23Joe Santagato:Well, that one is in a bin. I still have my first pitch ball. Oh, yeah, I still have that. I still have that from both of them, from the buoy base out.

52:33Frank Alvarez:I assume you have everything that we've ever had. Oh, yeah.

52:35Joe Santagato:Anything. Yeah, I do.

52:37Frank Alvarez:You must have, like, a random bin with, like, the most random stuff in it.

52:40Joe Santagato:Oh, yeah. I mean we did an episode years ago Like when I first joined Where we like went through our childhood items And just brought random things in Yeah but so With the tour you would take a lot of stuff

52:53Frank Alvarez:Yes I would So with that bin If I opened it and went through it what Four bins? Four bins Good lord So if I went through these bins Would there be stuff in there that I'm like What even is that? Yes Like is it like a fork Oh this is the first place we ate Like a fork or something?

53:09Joe Santagato:No no no no I didn't get that that level I mean I have shirts and hoodies yeah I have the you know pair of the socks that we had I have some stuff that some fans gave us you know there was one in particular I know I told you this where like it was from a like an indigenous tribe at it was in like the Vancouver area what's that called dream catcher but it was also a ring right and I was just like I can't get rid of this because

53:40Frank Alvarez:I don't want to like upset disrupt a spirit yeah right yeah there's some stuff I could I could

53:47Joe Santagato:bring one or two of them in and and we can go through them and talk about them if you want and you also have like your jars I have jars yeah yeah I I get it I know I'm a I have uh

54:01Frank Alvarez:of what yeah I guess that's a good question too I mean what's what do you think is your strangest jar jars for anyone listening he keeps a lot of stuff in jars so he'll collect like match boxes

54:14Joe Santagato:matt well yeah match boxes back at night anywhere we go whether together or individually we try to get a match box to bring home uh cigar wrappers that's a big one you could oh there's a jar for

54:25Frank Alvarez:that yeah yeah yeah yeah okay but is there like a yeah like yeah like the the ring around the i know So, like, what?

54:34Joe Santagato:I haven't smoked a cigar in how long, and sometimes there are some that I have that I just didn't keep because whatever.

54:38Frank Alvarez:Well, the Matchboxes, right? I don't mean to dissect this, but the Matchboxes, they have, like, the names of the restaurant on them usually. Sometimes. So you can kind of, like, piggyback off that. Oh, I remember. Scar Wrappers, like, how do you?

54:50Joe Santagato:It's more of, like, this is just the cigar. It's not like I wrote on them, like, January 44th, you know?

54:57Frank Alvarez:Smoked it with my father-in-law. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We talked about politics. Yeah, I didn't.

55:04Joe Santagato:Yeah, no, I definitely haven't done anything like that. But you used to collect bottles. Remember that? When we were in high school. Let's make sure you very specifically say that. Yes.

55:15Frank Alvarez:Yeah, I think everyone did that.

55:18Joe Santagato:We had on my, so like the way that like my childhood bedroom was from like high school, it was like there was like a windowsill and it was lined with empty bottles of absolute patrone some of the grossest alcohol you could uh yeah yeah yeah you know yeah like a big bottle of patrone and at the end of the night we'd be like we finish this bottle everyone sign it and i would keep it and keep it in my room yeah i remember those no those are all gone okay all of them are gone i thank god all right i mean can you imagine if you still had the bottles if becca and i moved into a home together and she i was just like i need to figure out where to put my bottles oh i

55:55Frank Alvarez:mean i wouldn't respect you um but i i would i am shocked that you got rid of them like i think it's

56:03Joe Santagato:okay to keep that like if you're storing it well you know how i am like i i'll keep them i'll keep them and then at a certain point i was just like it's not cool or funny to have a bottle of vodka from yeah from 2010 yeah you know what i mean you guys i remember the only thing that i remember you keeping was like you bought an original four loco and had it for years uh that was accidental

56:27Frank Alvarez:i it just i found it and i was like oh this is an og and then you kept do you still have it or

56:32Joe Santagato:is it no no do you have anything yeah not that your parents kept that you kept um yeah i have

56:41Frank Alvarez:stuff but like not a lot podcast we talk i mean i mean i told you i keep funeral cards because i'm afraid to throw them out yes i'm like oh now i'm gonna kill them i have those yes so i can't i can't do that um i've misplaced some of those i have all the polaroids from my first apartment where everyone had to take those oh shit yeah yeah so i have all those um oh and what i remember the picture i took yeah frank was naked wearing a uh a wwe belt around his waist well it was lower than my waist let's let's put let's point that out yeah yeah i was covering the his thing uh but yeah i actually was you know what's funny about that i have so i have all those pictures and the first time i met becca she was at my apartment so she's on there and i was going to put that in your like wedding card gotcha because i i still have it but i mean it's in my nightstand somewhere or some shit but now they're all fucked up because they were all like taped oh so i put them on top

57:46Joe Santagato:of each other so some of them like ripped yeah that sucks so i don't know which ones are ruined but i recently went through my brother uh came over a couple weeks ago and he showed up a two like a giant storage bin and he's like oh when mom moved she i took all the pictures so these are all of our family pictures and i went through there was some of you in there I think I sent you something Did I send them to you? No We talked about something you were like oh guess what picture I found But I forgot what it was Yeah don't remember but there were some of you like we went to like A pre-k trip that's what it was You were like I picked up the first picture Who was in the picture?

58:19Joe Santagato:Yes yo yes Shane Gorman again Yo I'm not kidding I open the bin and I look At a picture and it's And like the only one of Shane

58:28Frank Alvarez:Yeah and I I wonder if when that episode comes out Because it hasn't come out yet since we're recording this if he'll reach out will we make contact with the gorman family again what's his sister's name first of all we're going yeah we're come on we're getting out of control we're getting out of

58:42Joe Santagato:control you want to give the mom's name too yeah they were cool as fuck dude i remember like being like super cool with him and he was he's a little crazy at times i remember his dad was a lefty i look as that was the first lefty that i had met in my life i was like this guy is so cool he throws lefty. I remember like his dad looked like the like when you would picture like a musician that like grew up on the west coast like long wiry hair. I thought it was like curly I don't remember curls but like was like yeah man you know like that's what they both looked and reminded me of.

59:19Frank Alvarez:I do remember one time Shane getting in so much trouble at my house that his parents took him upstairs in my mom's bathroom and made him eat soap like i i remember that vividly and i don't

59:32Joe Santagato:know what he said yeah i mean he was also like a nightmare he was a kid he was a kid that's for sure he was definitely like a little nuts him and keith were like psychos i remember uh because he lived around the block from you yeah and i remember going there and they had this dog named molly or dolly i think it was dolly i don't remember and it was like a big white almost like looked like a big doodle you know um and this fucking poor dog man like you know having to like run back and forth with shane because he was a bit of a psychopath and like you know it was so weird like yeah everything we went through with o's everything we went through like it was traumatic i mean honestly i almost got sick yeah so i don't know if we said i don't know have we spoken about what happened immediately after we finished recording oh with you oh yeah yeah hold on let

1:00:22Frank Alvarez:Let me get to the ads and then we'll talk about the trick that he did to Ant. This is a good little cliffhanger we're leaving people on here. Say something nasty and naughty. No. Okay. We have some more sponsors, this being HIMSS, okay? HIMSS is going to offer a convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including choose oral medication, serums, and sprays for hair loss. So if you're a guy out there that has hair that is thinning or, you know, you have some hair loss or you want to be very preventative, this could be helpful to you. These are doctor-trusted ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil that can help further hair loss, stop further hair loss, or regrow hair in as little as three to six months.

1:01:09Frank Alvarez:So, you know, it works. This is the ones that are doctor-trusted, I should say. But you can find the right hair regrowth treatment for you with flexible subscription options. There's access 24-7 provider service and once-a-day treatment options that fit your daily routine. So if this is something that you need help with, you can get it at HIMSS. So for simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss, and more, visit HIMSS.com slash basement. That's HIMSS.com slash basement for your free online visit. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality.

1:01:46Frank Alvarez:Prescription required. Seek website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride. And lastly here, we have prize picks. Prize picks, it's a lot of fun, okay? You're going to build these lineups. All you're doing is picking more or less than the prize picks projection, okay? It's a tongue twister there. but basically it'll tell you uh you know will this player have more or less than that uh amount to their projection and all you have to do is pick more or less so it's very easy to understand you pick anywhere from two to six uh players it could be across different sports they have ufc they have soccer they have college basketball tennis golf whatever it is um and you create these lineups and yeah you could do early payouts so if you have hit a couple of those and you're I just want to cash out right now.

1:02:39Frank Alvarez:You can do that. But, yeah, you can download the PrizePix app today and use the code BASEMENT to get$50 in lineups after you play your first$5 in lineups. That is the code BASEMENT to get$50 in lineups after you play your first$5 in lineups. PrizePix, a preferred partner of the NBA. Boom. All right, so obviously you guys at this point have seen the episode that we do at O's, and we recorded that. Mind-blowing, whatever. I stepped away for a second just to get like some water and like figure out my life not pass out and I Come back and and and has his phone like this and he's in a defense position And he and he's over here and then he goes he's like alright and think of a globe, right?

1:03:24Frank Alvarez:I don't know if you appreciate me like paraphrasing his trick But he's like think of a globe spin the globe and then you put your finger on a place What what we like and then he's like type it into Google, right? Mental globe by the way There was no globe. It's like essentially just think of a place on the entire world. Yeah. And then he was like, type it into Google, but don't press send. Yeah. And then he goes, okay, delete that. Well, first he goes, would they guess it? And Ant's like, probably not. And he goes, all right, if you're not 100 % sure, think of a different one.

1:03:54Joe Santagato:He goes, delete it. Think of a different one. Now, Ant is, O's and I are standing here, basically. And Ant's over there. I'm far. And Ant is like maybe 25 feet away. He could not see my phone.

1:04:06Frank Alvarez:And I was making sure he could not.

1:04:08Joe Santagato:Yeah, and he could not see. He didn't touch any. He was standing here. You were over there. And then he goes, okay. And he looks at me and he grabs his whiteboard. And he goes, this is the second place that you typed in, right?

1:04:22Frank Alvarez:Yeah, and he goes, go to images.

1:04:23Joe Santagato:Yeah.

1:04:24Frank Alvarez:And then he's like, look at images. Look at the first image. He's like, now picture that. And then he starts writing on his little. Once he said images, I'm like, you're fucked. You literally said you're fucked. I'm like, yo, you're fucked. He's got you. So I had to pick a spot on the globe. I got it. He said, all right, get rid of that. I had to pick another spot on a whim, and I got it. And then he told me to show you. And then I looked at it. And you looked at it. Again, he couldn't see anything. And then he asked me to go to images, like just the pictures of the place. Yeah. And then he wrote down.

1:04:53Frank Alvarez:Well, then he goes, he's like, say the place. Oh, no, he was like, when you go to images, what was the first thing you saw? He was like, pyramids. Turns the thing around. He had drawn three pyramids. Yeah. And then we're like, what the fuck? How do you do that? He goes, oh, by the way, your first one, Madagascar.

1:05:10Joe Santagato:Yo, we were, yo, I, we couldn't, I, I like, Ant was just like, and I knew you were fucked because you went, I guess you went, okay, now hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, immediately went, like, what you guys don't see about Ant is like, when we're not recording, he's very like, I consider you very analytical. Like you're trying to understand things and like break things down. It's like how they work. And you immediately went into like, hold on a second. You couldn't physically comprehend.

1:05:36Frank Alvarez:He immediately turned into the thinker. He was like, hold on.

1:05:39Joe Santagato:Yeah. Yo, seriously. Let me figure this out. And yo, legit. There were comments on some of those clips that were just like, this is acting. This is staged. Not at all. If you trust us for nothing else.

1:05:52Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

1:05:52Joe Santagato:Trust us for the fact that we meet. If not Joey, I would have been like, gotcha. You didn't do it. I couldn't fucking believe it. Well, I honestly had so much anxiety because I was like, this is going to be so weird if it doesn't work.

1:06:11Frank Alvarez:So I was so nervous the whole time that it wouldn't work. And then once he did the first trick, then I was like, what is happening now?

1:06:19Joe Santagato:Bro, I was sitting there and I really genuinely had like – like it felt like I was experiencing nausea. Because I was worried like, yo, there's no way this kid's going to know Shane Gorman.

1:06:33Frank Alvarez:That's crazy.

1:06:34Joe Santagato:And like there's no way that like – not only that, he got you to think of that person.

1:06:39Frank Alvarez:I was thinking of him.

1:06:40Joe Santagato:And like – because he said at the beginning of it too like, all right, I'm going to get – I'm going to see if I can get both of you guys to think of this person. Did he say that? I thought that –

1:06:48Frank Alvarez:Like, I was doing it because he was asking you, think of someone that you haven't seen in a while. And I was, like, trying to think of who you would think of.

1:06:54Joe Santagato:Bro, I was thinking, like, I don't know. I don't know. I do not know. But then, like, I'm sitting there and I'm, like, worried. Like, yo, there's no way he's going to come up with Shane Gorman. Like, that's such a, like, who have you, Gorman. I don't know, man. Dude couldn't. I don't know.

1:07:13Frank Alvarez:I was, like. I did see comments. These guys are actors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, bro, thank you for the compliment for thinking I can do that. Yeah. And also, where's my fucking Oscar?

1:07:25Joe Santagato:Because if that was acting, we deserve to be recognized because, boy, oh, boy, we were fucked. Yeah, that was crazy.

1:07:34Frank Alvarez:But the fact that he got Madagascar. He got Madagascar and Egypt. But I'll tell you what. As soon as he said, take out your phone, I went, here we go. He wants to do magic on me. He's like, I don't want it. Was that your first time being magicked upon? No, when I was younger, a magician, I don't think O's would consider this guy the same. It was like a table magician. Yeah, yeah. He stole my watch. One of those. Oh, he like pickpockets?

1:07:57Joe Santagato:I've seen those people that'll just like, they put their arm around them and then they just like slowly take it off.

1:08:02Frank Alvarez:Fully took my watch. I had no idea. I went, don't do that. I like that. Pickpockets? I like watch YouTube videos because there was a time where I was like, I want to pickpocket.

1:08:13Joe Santagato:One more time. Pit? Pick? No, no, no. I'm not. the pronunciation of that is not what I'm harping on. It's the fact that you wanted to aspire to be, you probably watched Ocean's Eleven. That's what it was. I mean, I definitely enjoyed that. If I could knock off a casino, come on. You're like, damn, Matt Damon got it going on. Yeah, dude. I can't, I've seen those videos. And again, I'm one of those people that's just like, I'm not going to believe it until it happens to me. And lo and behold, Oz did his thing.

1:08:41Frank Alvarez:Yeah, it's kind of like, it's wild when it happens to you because you're like you it's hard to because then you see the comments and you're like this is funny also i did see some comments being like this is dark magic he's a demon i'm like all right there's an explanation becca she goes that's cool but there's some darkness there and i'm like what

1:09:03Joe Santagato:are you saying and she's like also she said to me she's like he grabbed your hand and said he took your soul that felt like i don't know i'm like babe come on and then she goes are you sure well

1:09:13Frank Alvarez:he also openly is like, I'm not doing magic. I'm, I'm doing like a, like clearly there's an explanation for the thing I'm doing. It's not supernatural. I mean,

1:09:23Joe Santagato:I feel supernatural. I, I, I can't even begin to explain the experience, but like, yeah, Becca was one of those people that was just like, it's a little dark. Yeah. You know? And then she said later, she's like, he touched your hand. Did he feel something? Because he knew that you thought Rafael Nadal was handsome. I was like what do you mean She's like you know you just let me know Like it was written on your hands In my head like figured out I'm secretly gay For Rafael Nadal Of all people During the US Open I am

1:09:56Frank Alvarez:Frankie's secret

1:09:59Joe Santagato:Don't do that I know you write down these time codes That was incredible I mean I love magic man

1:10:10Frank Alvarez:Damn shit What else can we get in here

1:10:12Joe Santagato:I mean, we have to get, we've gotten a doctor. Right. We've gotten Oz the Mentor.

1:10:17Frank Alvarez:Oh, we've got to get, what's his name?

1:10:20Joe Santagato:Neil deGrasse Tyson.

1:10:21Frank Alvarez:First of all, I was thinking Neil Patrick Harris, and I was like, that's not right.

1:10:24Joe Santagato:We could get an NPH too.

1:10:26Frank Alvarez:I know, but I was thinking Neil deGrasse Tyson. I mean, Neil deGrasse Tyson, like, he will, like, what made, Oz did his thing.

1:10:36Joe Santagato:Dr. Mike did his thing, but he was very patient and kind with us. Yeah. Something tells me we would break Neil deGrasse Tyson, and he'd be like,

1:10:41Frank Alvarez:fuck you guys to be fair i think i did see a clip of him on uh theo fawn's podcast and i'm pretty sure theo asked him if space was gay yeah he did and then he just gave an answer yeah which didn't miss a beat which is crazy so like it makes me pretty confident that like he would have an answer

1:10:58Joe Santagato:for stuff i just think that like there's so many like we can do a body health doctor we could do a space doctor we could do a food doctor space doctor you know what i'm talking about like yeah A magic doctor. Magic doctor. We got magic doctor. We got YouTube doctors with, you know, red link. We could do space doctor next. Food doctor. What else is there?

1:11:23Frank Alvarez:Neil deGrasse Tyson would be a funny one. I think that's got to be.

1:11:27Joe Santagato:I would love to speak to – have you ever seen those videos that are like – they're called like – I think they're through – I don't remember, but it's like tech support, but it's like paleontology support, and they'll have a paleontologist answer questions from people that submit them online or astrophysicist support. They're actually pretty interesting. But like a fossil doctor. That'd be a cool one. Fossil doctor? Is that like a title? Paleontologist, I think. Oh, well, that's, yeah. You know, their doctorate of paleontology? Yeah. There's got to be.

1:12:04Frank Alvarez:What about someone that's found treasure or something? Like National Treasure, Indiana Jones or something.

1:12:09Joe Santagato:Like a pirate? No. Like a treasure? I know what you're talking about. Like a treasure hunter or something. Bro. Like national treasure. Yeah, something. First of all, that also is very high on my bucket list. To find the national treasure? Yeah, to like, that movie is like, that is a great example of what, if I kept my childhood brain and never matured, that's what I would do with my life. I mean I'm shocked you haven't seen any of the Indiana Jones movies yeah I got it you would fall in love like each of them kind of I love National Treasure

1:12:48Frank Alvarez:like I love the fact that he's like oh there's a shadow and then it's like you get these glasses that you can read and there's different things to read

1:12:55Joe Santagato:Raiders of the Lost Ark you're going to like what have I why have I not and also have you seen the movies the Indiana Jones movies yeah of course big Disney guy of course that's a little before that yeah it's fair they were lucasfilm um i like the first one and then uh the last crusade because you were a kid of god you would love that last crusade i was a kid of god yeah it's like them searching for the holy grail oh okay and like there's all like booby traps and shit no real boobies i don't think i love booby traps dude why do you think i love legends of the hidden temple so much.

1:13:31Frank Alvarez:Booby traps are just so good. Like if I got caught in a booby trap, a part of me for a second would be like, what innovation? Whoever put this together is modern ingenuity. Yeah, like it's like a spike thing that I get caught in. But also like, this is unbelievable stuff.

1:13:48Joe Santagato:The idea of going out, like dying, because like if you say like, oh, he died because he fell in a pit. Boo. But like he died by booby trap?

1:13:56Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

1:13:56Joe Santagato:Awesome way to die.

1:13:57Frank Alvarez:Like if I was like walking through the jungle, first of all I wouldn't be doing that but if I was walking through the jungle and then all of a sudden like I step somewhere and a rope pulls me up and then like there's like dude those nest of of monkeys and they're like ripping my face apart I'd be like for a second I'd be like this is someone has to be so validated and like oh my god do you know how bad I want to get caught in a net

1:14:22Joe Santagato:I want to walk through like leaves and then a big net just swallow me and pull me up yeah you know how fucking cool that probably is yeah for like maybe a minute you know what i actually want to be

1:14:35Frank Alvarez:tied to a big stick of bamboo and carried to a village and that's dangerous yeah oh you mean

1:14:41Joe Santagato:like over the shoulder to like slow roast you over a fire like it does look like it does look kind of fun like on the way there i mean it looks like honestly it would be painful because they like tie they like hog tie you yeah so like you'll be like tied with a thing of bamboo going through your arms and like you're like hanging and shit like that but in the movies they always find a way out i do want to be treated not always yeah sometimes they do you ever see what was it uh green inferno oh don't even that yeah yeah i'm thinking more of like uh pirates of the caribbean that you know they should have experiences where like you could be treated like you were captured in the jungle you know what i'm saying like they do escape rooms cool whatever for the intellectually inclined fine you know they just want to get caught i just want to be like go run through this jungle and then you step on a rope and it fucking swings you up and you need to cut yourself with like a jagged rock and then you hit the ground dude when we were kids at the lake we used to we thought we were building a tree house and we were like we're only going to use rocks as tools and uh we didn't sure what you and like like my brothers brian we're gonna we're gonna use

1:15:56Frank Alvarez:rocks as tools but build a tree house yeah yeah yeah the parents are probably thrilled about that they're like they'll be at that the whole summer well because it was like you know next to where

1:16:06Joe Santagato:my cabin is there was like that little cove with like that little island on there if you go to it i don't know if it's still there but we had like nailed a plank into the tree and it was like the first step and then we like found rocks that were like jagged and we were like we can cut stuff with

1:16:22Frank Alvarez:this yeah we never did uh when you're a kid oh god there's nothing better than that of like what this is possible or you just get a stick and be like i'm a wizard and now it's a sword and now

1:16:33Joe Santagato:ow ow my elbow i was playing outside with the girls yesterday and i found a stick and we were playing like magic wand and i was just yeah and it was so fucking cool i wish i remember after the

1:16:49Frank Alvarez:last harry potter movie i was like oh we're not going back to hogwarts next year and i was like damn wizardry is not real and this pisses me off because i would love to go to hogwarts and just

1:17:00Joe Santagato:like i've yet to go to the universal hogwarts experience i have a feeling outrageous it's

1:17:07Frank Alvarez:gonna cost a couple bucks sure are your children into harry potter miles big time loves harry

1:17:13Joe Santagato:potter um great bro speaking of crying like a baby watching that movie with him having to explain spoiler i'm not gonna spoil it like one of the you know what i'm talking about like i was getting choked up explaining him like it's all about love you know what i mean it's all about love and it's looking at me like someone that couldn't care less about harry potter

1:17:36Frank Alvarez:i feel like i was following along and then i didn't know what movie you were talking about I feel like I just lost myself.

1:17:41Joe Santagato:You know, the first part one. No. Do I need to say the line? Always. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and I was like... That's part one, I think.

1:17:52Frank Alvarez:Am I bugging? He's talking about Deathly Hallows. Part one, right? Yeah, I think it is part one. I think it is. But like the arc...

1:17:59Joe Santagato:I like cried explaining it to him.

1:18:02Frank Alvarez:That's so funny.

1:18:02Joe Santagato:And the kids, you know, if it's not K-pop Demon Hunters, the girls don't really care about it right now.

1:18:06Frank Alvarez:That sucks, but... No, it's good. no no i mean like it sucks that they're not into harry potter harry potter is amazing dude they'll get there like dude in harry potter like if you have children that are really into harry potter and then you walk into yeah uh islands of is it islands of adventure that i'm thinking of well it has both like both well i'm talking about when you get to hogsmeade it's like my unbelievable i can't i can't wait was that a question yeah i can't wait i want to go like we've we've

1:18:38Joe Santagato:We've discussed going soon. It's so good. But I'm going to need help. I literally have recruited so far one person to assist me with everything. Oh, you're going to need to go fund me too. I will need both of you. I know. I know. Bro, I talked to my neighbor and he was just like, we literally hired someone who scheduled and paid for everything, came with us, waited on lines for us and shit like that. Waited on lines? Yeah.

1:19:02Frank Alvarez:I mean, you're going to have to do fast pass.

1:19:04Joe Santagato:But he said, he's like, we did all that stuff and they waited on the line. So like when it was our turn, we just walked up and took her spot. Wow. I didn't know that was like a thing you could do. Take a wild guess what something like that costs.

1:19:16Frank Alvarez:Just for that part of the whole trip?

1:19:18Joe Santagato:I think he said that they went for like three days. The whole trip? Yeah. I mean, it's over 10 grand. You're close. I'm not going to give away like the actual amount. Yeah, it's a lot.

1:19:29Frank Alvarez:Are they staying on property or off property?

1:19:31Joe Santagato:Yeah, it's a big one. That's a great question. I didn't specify.

1:19:33Frank Alvarez:If you do stay on property.

1:19:34Joe Santagato:Oh, I'm not talking about what the whole thing costs. I'm talking about what that service cost.

1:19:39Frank Alvarez:Oh, so that's close to 10 grand? Like the VIP stuff, kind of? I don't think that's worth it. You get a handler. That's what the person was.

1:19:46Joe Santagato:It was basically a handler. Oh, like this is through Disney? No. Oh. It's like just a by itself service.

1:19:54Frank Alvarez:Oh. Oh, I don't know then.

1:19:56Joe Santagato:Replace that, AI.

1:20:02Frank Alvarez:Damn. I miss it. I want to go back already. We had such a good time that time. I'm going in like four days. Oh, fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck you. You're going to get a butter beer?

1:20:15Joe Santagato:Yeah. Is it beer? No. Damn it. Yeah. Do they sell alcohol there, but they call it like a cool Harry Potter thing? There's alcohol everywhere.

1:20:24Frank Alvarez:There's a bar in Harry Potter world that has like the hog on a head. It's a hog's head, but it talks to you. It's called Hogsmeade. You get beer there. It's funny.

1:20:32Joe Santagato:Yeah, how stupid do you think we are? We know Harry Potter. You don't know the place exists. But I know Harry Potter. I know Hogsmeade. It's a fucking guy, bro. And also Hogsmeade's called the place, not the bar. I believe it's the Leaky Cauldron. I wonder if there is a Leaky Cauldron.

1:20:50Frank Alvarez:He might be right, actually. What, that the place is called Leaky Cauldron? Yeah, he might be right. I mean, that would make more sense. But there's a hog head.

1:20:57Joe Santagato:Because Hogsmeade's like the town, dude. It's like Steinway.

1:21:01Frank Alvarez:That's for no one. That's just for me and you. We know Steinway. That's like Steinway. Damn, I'm jealous though. Have you ever bought a wand there? No, they're bread. How much? How much? It'd be like$180. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. $180.

1:21:20Joe Santagato:Yeah, I'm on a card.

1:21:22Frank Alvarez:But you can go around to specific points, and if you have the wand, you can do magic and it does stuff. I'm letting you know, we have already publicly announced that we're doing more live shows.

1:21:37Joe Santagato:Yeah. We're going to need to get those if I want to go to Disney. Oh, man.

1:21:42Frank Alvarez:Especially if your daughters get into Harry Potter and you got three people. Bro, if Miles looks at me with...

1:21:48Joe Santagato:He doesn't even need to like... You know sometimes kids can play into the whole like... If he just looks at me happy, I'll be like, whatever you want. Yeah, yeah. I don't care.

1:21:55Frank Alvarez:And you watch the families where the three kids have the full cloaks that they bought in the store and the three wands and they're going around doing magic. Like, God.

1:22:03Joe Santagato:This guy must own a hedge fund. I'm telling you, I might be that guy. And it might. I mean, you're gonna. I think you will. I might, like, I'm telling you right now, if I get put in a Slytherin or something stupid like Hufflepuff, I'm gonna be pissed.

1:22:15Frank Alvarez:You could buy them. You could buy them. Oh, I could pick.

1:22:18Joe Santagato:Don't they have the sorting hat there, though? And he's just like, ah. Filthy. Stinky. Stinky Slytherin That's a pretty good impression They put it on Joey's head They'll be like Alright I smell money

1:22:41Joe Santagato:Okay

1:22:42Frank Alvarez:I smell money

1:22:44Joe Santagato:White Yo you know that fucking sorty house Racist as hell dude Oh my god that's true Which house would he be in you gotta finish We know what house he'd be in Because he'd pay his way into Gryffindor We've already gone over this a bunch of times We've looked at what houses we'd be in What do you think you are?

1:23:04Frank Alvarez:I don't know Slytherin probably

1:23:06Joe Santagato:You're not fucking cool enough for Slytherin Who do you think you are? Slytherin before the movie You think he's evil Knievel I also love Slytherin before the movie It was fully based on being racist I love how people are just like Was it? I love how they're just like hmm well I'm cunning I would be a Slytherin it's like the founder was just like if you're a mudblood

1:23:29Frank Alvarez:you're out dude yeah like also crab and barf or whatever their names are wasn't crab and goyle wasn't Slytherin before the movie like the powerhouse of the school and then Gryffindor

1:23:43Joe Santagato:just became cool because yes Salazar Slytherin was just like I don't want anyone ill your parents are fucking not just magic get out of here yeah I mean I guess I don't know the lore maybe Hufflepuff I believe that was like I don't really there's not if they do more Harry Potter stuff we should

1:24:03Frank Alvarez:probably dive into those two houses a little bit because I don't there's not really a highlight

1:24:07Joe Santagato:yeah I mean the game kind of like if you could if you get placed in one of those I know that there's so much lore Frank if the game placed me in anything other than Gryffindor I'm snapping it I believe that first because it was like they place you and then you can say nope I want to go there I think they replaced me in like Ravenclaw they did

1:24:27Frank Alvarez:and you're so I was like

1:24:29Joe Santagato:you're like yo fuck this game yo fuck it

1:24:31Frank Alvarez:because Ravenclaw is like the studious ones right and Hufflepuff aren't they just popping potions I might do that one

1:24:36Joe Santagato:yeah they're like

1:24:37Frank Alvarez:drug addicts

1:24:38Joe Santagato:so you have Gryffindor that are just like they're kind of like they're like the heroic but also arrogant yeah Slytherin they're like they're cunning they're just racist yeah And they used slurs. My blood. Yeah. And then Hufflepuff was just like. I'd be popping potions. I'll be Hufflepuff. The fucking stoners. I'll be at Hogsmeade getting after it. Hell yeah. You're at Ravenclaw. Walking out into the forest. I mean, Ravenclaw's not the worst, in my opinion, because the name is pretty fucking cool. Yeah, I like Ravenclaw. Ravens and claws are cool. Both cool, yeah.

1:25:11Frank Alvarez:Hufflepuff. It's a little. Get the fuck out of here. It sounds like a Pokemon.

1:25:15Joe Santagato:It does. It does. Yes, exactly. Like, it would be like a ball of smoke. What are you researching?

1:25:22Frank Alvarez:Just looking at what Hufflepuff does. What do they do? It's an operator's community acting as the glue that holds people together through dedication and strong moral compass.

1:25:30Joe Santagato:Wow. That's nice. Yeah. Feels like me. Fine. What do they say about Slytherin? And immediately just add a couple hard R's to it.

1:25:39Frank Alvarez:Oh, God, I have to spell Slytherin. Oh, yeah, you're probably over there having a tough... A drive to succeed, often aiming for leadership positions and striving to be the best in their endeavors. I could, that's Slytherin.

1:25:52Joe Santagato:Yeah.

1:25:53Frank Alvarez:If you're white.

1:25:54Joe Santagato:Yeah, white nationalism. We strive to be the best in our endeavors, if you're blonde habley-eyed.

1:26:01Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

1:26:03Joe Santagato:The ends justify the means. Yeah, this is all sounds very proud boyish.

1:26:07Frank Alvarez:It's a little tough. Oh, man. All right, well, there you have it, folks. I don't really I mean I had to do a stretch like that

1:26:17Joe Santagato:I don't know it just felt good but Frank where can they find you? The Frank Alvarez all over patreon.com slash the basement yard and the basement yard in all forms of social media go check it all out

1:26:27Frank Alvarez:and you can find me at antprisco on Instagram and you guys can follow me at Josie and I got to go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram and that is all see you guys next time

1:26:49Frank Alvarez:This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans.