#558 - FRANK FIRES JOE!! + New Tour Dates

29:30Okay. Uh, like Frank said earlier, these are just the beginning. We're going to be spreading this out over the course of the next year too in 2027. So there will be more shows booked. I can't guarantee where those are going to be or when they're going to be, but uh you know we also you know there will be more shows out it it's just it's just it is what it is i don't know why i kept laughing when you were saying my birthday because i was thinking of that tiktok where he's just like it's my birthday and i want to show you my girlfriend you remember that and like a bunch of people kept quoting it and it was like showing the dude's hand and it looked like the girl's like tied up or something like oh yes yes yes yes that's an old we're very very excited um we have done a lot of you know kind of conversations on our end on what we can do to make this show entirely new and entirely fresh and like give people something so like there is not the feeling of like oh i just saw them like this will be new this will be tailored to make it the most interactive fun borderline crazy experience that it could be and uh i'm excited i know you're excited and don't care how you feel about it but you know you guys were so incredibly supportive and fucking unbelievably like passionate during our first round of shows that we are we're just beyond elated at what this could be i do want to say that truly um every time like because of your support we are able to to kind of like brag in some sort of way of like yeah we've like done these places and all these people show up for us and it's it's like this awesome thing so you guys have like literally blown this out of proportion and now we have a legitimate like touring career because of all you guys and we truly didn't think that we were going to do shows this year because we didn't know we thought that like ah they're going to be like kind of sick of it but the support has only gotten more and more crazy and yeah we could we talk that shit baby well i'm just saying like that shit baby i feel like we got we got nervous of being like you know we we've done it for two years we've people have already seen us like i think they get it or kind of that thing but i'll tell you this i don't know if this is like too baby girl of me though but like plan b is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan it specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation plan b is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like doordash no id prescription or age requirement It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility.

32:09That's freedom to be. Use as directed. The feeling of like, maybe people won't come is still there. You know what I mean? I'm panicking. But like, it's just like, it is such an honor. I know that's a weird, like, I hope that doesn't sound like dramatic to say that, but like, it is such a privilege and honor to get to do this stuff that like, it's not lost on me that like, people may not show up. you know what i mean so like when you know i can speak for myself here and i think i could speak for joey but like every show that we've done the day that the tickets have went on sale it's a i don't mind i scared like it is it is crazy so you guys have put us in the position to get that opportunity to explore a talent and a skill and the opportunity to try to make you guys happy and laugh and and this shit is so fucking fun too and you know i i think you know we just we just really appreciate being able to do this shit and like i said we we told ourselves we weren't going to do any shows this year um but there just has been like a lot of growth and we're having a lot of discussions internally about like we really want to see how far we can push this and see you know if we can create another show like a brand new show from scratch that is like even better than the last one so we can create an experience for people that have been to shows before that they're like holy shit that was like so much better we'd like to believe that the first round of shows and the second year of shows were very different as far as like how good we we felt about them so this one is going to be definitely like obviously the best work that we could possibly put out but again wednesday june 17th at noon eastern uh go to thebasemeyard.com the pre-sale code is basement get those tickets uh i would be ready for them because like i said uh you know Last time, a lot of people were buying tickets immediately at that time.

33:58So that is the pre-sale. The general sale starts on Friday, June 19th. But again, I would get to the pre-sale. But we're going back on the road. Please God help us. Tuapoluses. You never thought about it. Bro, we're doing back-to-back-apolis. Back-to-back-alypse! That's got to be a shirt. That's got to be a shirt, right? It's the back tobacalypse. The back tobacalypse. The appalice. The appalice. It's not appalice. It's the apple apocalypse. No, it's the back tobacalice. Appalice. Back tobacalice. No, not lips. Polis. It's the backalap. No. Appalice. Back tobacalice. No. Back tobacalice. Backtobapalice.

34:48There's got to be a P. I'm going to have a heart attack. Oh, backtobapalice. Back to Bapalus. No, it's got to be the K. Back to Bapalus. It could be mini. Maybe don't put indie. Is that like a bad thing? That's a whole genre of music, Frank. Oh, cool. I don't know. You know I'm not as chronically online. Indie music? I don't know. It's a music. But like, it could be like Apalus. Just do me a favor. Move on. Take your fist and ball it up. Hit me repeatedly in this fucking square inch of my face. Do the ads. And then I have a question for you, a legitimate question for you. Not compared to a fake question.

35:35Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, most of the show is fake questions anyway. Sorry. Okay, we do have ads. The first one being, how you doing? Kachava. All right. This is a lovely product that I was using way before they were a sponsor on this show. But they are great. They're like a protein. So it provides clean nutrition to fuel wherever your day tastes you. No fillers, no nonsense, no artificial flavors, colors, or sweeteners. But it has all of these things. They have things that boost your energy, digestion, strength, metabolism, immunity, things like that. But all the nutrition your body craves in one deliciously simple shake pack to go.

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36:49It is so good. I got to try it. But, yeah, right now you can go try them out, take your daily ritual with you. Go to cachava.com and use the code BASEMENT for 15 % off of your first order. Okay? That is 15 % of your first order. The website is cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com, and the code is BASEMENT. All right? So go to cachava.com, use the code BASEMENT to get 15 % off your first order, folks. And we also have SKIMS. Okay? skims they make lovely underwear uh for boys and girls uh they just started making a men's line um not so i mean i think they like launched with just women's wear but now they have men's for those who don't know and they're very comfortable they sent us a bunch of pairs and like i said they're very comfortable it's breathable it doesn't hug you too hard um you know it doesn't like it doesn't make you sweat sometimes you you buy a pair of underwear and it's like oh i kind of like these and then you get out there in the world and it's like well okay i'm sweating through these things it's it's kind of gross but these are nice and breathable uh they're very comfortable there's a lot of cool colors and stuff but you can go check that out it's also a really good gift maybe for your loved one but like i said they have for men and women so you can go check them out at skims.com slash basement and yeah let them know that we sent you again that is skims.com slash basement to uh get that for you but let them know you send you after you place your order select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that falls let them know and while you're browsing the internet while you're hot on the web go over to patreon.com slash the basement yard and what will you see us and what will you get more of us that's crazy that's what you want i hope and if you do great then it's there for you if not whatever this isn't for you patreon.com slash the basement yard is the service that we use to give you guys more of us, and it's one of the best ways to directly support us.

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39:13So thank you. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. Check it out. Give it as a gift for family, for friends, for whomever you want to give it to. And if you want to do that and save yourself a couple extra bucks while doing it, do it on the web. Do it on a web browser. If you use the smart app, they're going to take some extra money for it from you. Okay. So patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thank you. We love you. We appreciate you. Go check it out. Yes. I had a question since we're hot on the tails. Off the tails? Hot on the trail? Off the tails? Since we're hot. Off the heels? Off the heels?

39:45On the heels? It doesn't matter. Wearing heels. Sure. Hot wearing heels. If you could go and re-watch a video of our very first show, would you? You know I can do that. How? The episode exists. What are you talking about? No. Oh, our first live show Live show, brother I was like, bro, it exists Live show, live show Would I watch it? Yeah I'd attempt to And Hell Yeah, I don't know I don't know You think it would be like uncomfortable for you? I mean, all of that is uncomfortable for me It is I don't watch any of this stuff back It's uncomfortable for me You know when you hear actors in interviews And they're like, yeah, I never watch any of my movies Like, part of me thinks that's weird But then at the same time, I'm like, yeah, I don't I get it completely I wouldn't want to watch that either because I, I, I have hearts.

40:38I have been, I see clips and I'll like, I'll be like, if I see a clip and I don't remember the context or what it is or what's coming next, then I'll see, I'll be like, Oh yeah. Um, but I get the thing of like, I see it. I'm like, who's that? That's not me. I don't, I don't, you know what I mean? Like that, I guess it's, but I think like the first show is, it would be tough because I just know how fucking nervous I was. like I just know how like I wasn't fully comfortable yet with that so I was just kind of like trying really hard I just I think I I don't want to bury us but like I just think that we were just not good at what we were trying to do we were not good at what we were trying to do yet yeah and then that's why it's so exciting to do these shows because now it feels like okay we've gotten to a place where we're a lot more comfortable on stage so now it feels like we could really just have fun doing it.

41:33Now I'm just looking forward to doing it. Also, couldn't hear you during that first one. Yeah, I couldn't hear you. It was very difficult. I think I came out and the first thing I said was like, oh my god, you guys are so close to the stage, I could pee on you. I was so nervous. Yeah, it's alright. We accepted an award and I said I was going to piss my pants. What's with us in urine? I mean, it's just one of the things that happens to a body. It doesn't happen to a body. It happens because of a body. Because of a body. True. but um i see you got something there and i'm afraid because it's a box with a hot dog on it yes but it doesn't look like a hot dog's in it i have a box here that says you the wiener is that how you say that can you pronounce it one more time i think it's like oh oh the wiener it's so french oh the toilet like oh oh the eau first of all all vowels so how does that work or is it like ooh the wiener frank it's i can almost guarantee it's not that um you doing pronunciation um how do you spell it e-a-u it's pronounced exactly like the letter the letter o o o o o the o the wiener oh the wiener oh the wiener oh the wiener oh yeah those stupid french people this i think it's a oh but no it just said it's pronounced like well like phonetically like oh oh oh the winner oh the winner is that how you say all the winner oh the winner all of the yeah frank wants what do you want all the wiener that's what i heard i think you remember uh remember that like mid-2000s pink panther movie the clip of fucking steve martin like oh that bokeh yeah that's yeah yeah um clearly french wait what What the fuck is that?

43:16Right, so this is hot dog cologne. Shut the fuck up. Alright, you gotta - I mean, I gathered that - Have you smelled it? You stink it? I've stunk a little bit of it. You stinked it, dude. So, it's for you. Ready? Oh, for me. I think you'll be fine. Don't throw it over the camera, dude. That camera's like$40 ,000 million. It certainly is not - Yeah, that was a perfect throw, by the way. That was. I love the box. Frankie, I want Frankie to just like - Well, first of all, you know I'm not doing that. It's gotta be a cool bottle. If it's not a cold bottle, I'm going to be so pissed off if it's not a cold bottle.

43:48That sucks. I'll tell you what. It looks like dehydrated pee. It does look like pee. It does. I've pissed that before. Am I going to vom? Am I going to vom my little pants? I think you need to... I'll do this. I think you'll be surprised in a good. That's up to you. I think go... I'm not going to spray it on my body. I mean, I don't... I'm going to spray it in the air. No, that's worse. Then the mist will get on your body. direct the spray at your at your arm no I'm gonna go in the air it's gonna get on you brother I know that's bad you're saying put it on me yeah but like that's gonna get more on you than that if I limit it to there your brain is an interesting place wow

44:42What the Santa Claus fuck was that? Really? Why is it burnt? It's burnt. Oh, I love burnt dogs. How's it feel? Toss that. I feel tooth. Toss that. Here. That was the most dangerous way because look at how it landed. That could have hit you right in the face. If that would have hit me in the fudge, that could have hit you right in the teeth. Alright, I'm gonna do it the way I said you should. Oh, wow. You're not supposed to rub cologne. This fucking guy. How weird is that? What is that? It stinks like suck. Yo, it's not off. Look at how he's smelling this thing. Can you go back to smelling it? It's like a smell vortex.

45:29Yo, it smells like a... Honestly, it smells more like the like... Burnt. The burnt pretzels that they have at the dog stands. Ooh, but old.

45:40I'm not getting wiener. I'm getting more like city street pretzel. Yeah. Burnt pretzel than I am dog. And dirty shoe. I'm getting dirty shoe. I feel like it. But there's a scent of like something in there. It was a little sweet, wasn't it? Yeah, for a second. It is a little sweet. I think after a little bit, it starts to smell like dog. I feel like you doing that is completely unnecessary to this to smelling so

46:09No, it doesn't smell like hot dog at all maybe didn't put enough It's by shy nasty Shy nasty shines shinesty. I have a question. I have a question. Yeah, what if it tastes like hot dog? Nice try. Yeah, I'm not gonna be doing that. Yeah, double dog. There I'm though. How about that? No, how about you do it? Double dog there, yeah. How about you do it? No, just spray a little and then go like...

46:36You didn't get any. You didn't get any. It tastes like Frankie. Oh. No, you faked it. That was fake. It was prank. I know, we're old. You can't prank us, we're not jailerun. It doesn't taste like any. It tastes like my skin. Well, I think you didn't get any, that's why. Nice fucking try. So you're just tasting skin. Nice fucking try. It does say warning to be sniffed and spritzed, not sipped, which is fair. Damn it. Yeah, I'm glad they specified that because you know that there's someone that did that. A good novelty, a novelty thing does not smell, more taste, like a hot dog in any capacity. Really?

47:13Yeah, yeah. And they also fucked up by not making this hot dog shaped. Yeah, make it a fucking glizzy shape. I'm sure that costs a lot and for a novelty thing like this, like, they need to think of, oh, are you getting the stink? It's coming over here now. Yeah, now you're getting a Burt's cocks. Watch this.

47:31Oh, I can smell it on its way. I think it's passing you. Smelling it on its way to you. Here it comes. Big bad Frankie over there. Yeah, Jesus. Yeah, no. It blows house down, Frank. Oh, there it is. You got it? Wow. Took a little pass. It doesn't smell like a... It doesn't? It doesn't smell like a... It's like sweet wood. It's not like bad. It's just something. I think you expected us to be gag boys. Frank. Really? Sorry. I didn't mean to. Take out the fucking gag boys. That was a legitimate... My mom watches this show. That was a legitimate mistake. Yeah. Here, you can take this back. I've never...

48:08I want to...

48:12I want to get one of those... Have you smelled the ones that are like farts? Yeah, yeah. Fart sprays. I remember fart bags. Do you remember when the first time you came to my home? It was right after I did it on an episode. Yeah. Oh, you threw a fart bag? One. It was like three I think He threw three at once So by the time he gathered two One of them's gonna go off Yeah I mean they just stink like a butt Like it's just like Yeah that's the part that sucks I remember I did it in the studio And then I broke a mug on my fucking wall Yeah that was a crazy episode First of all the studio at that time My apartment So you fart bagged my apartment But it was one room that was far enough away From like the rest of your apartment Let me ask you Do you know how wind works?

48:55How you work You know air? how things spread via air. Yeah, I don't think that was like a big concern. It was a small room. The place stunk like ash. I honestly don't remember. It was at the beginning of the episode as well. I remember doing it. Yeah, and I remember throwing it. We like fucking like threw it back and forth and then it popped on the floor. Yeah. Those things are, they smell. And they pop. They smell. Have you ever seen the glass ones? Glass. The glass stink bombs? No. They come in like a little glass vial. I had one in middle school and I broke it on the ground And boy that smells.

49:27Smells like a big poop of shit. That is a rough one. Like a tough one. Oh it's starting to get ya? God damn it's like it's your breath now. Wow he says your breath stinks. No it's cause every time he breathes more air comes his way and I'm getting it. Oh wow. I mean I don't think I have that strong of a breath that's gonna reach you. If you could smell his breath from there. Big trumps. No I'm not smelling his breath. It's just the wind. I think it's just the circulation. It just smells like a... You're also like look. That is gonna... They can't see it. but that's going to blow it right at you.

49:56It smells like a corner in Manhattan right now. It really does. That's awesome. It smells like the corner of 34th and 9th Avenue. Yeah. It's just right outside of the garden, and you're getting the fucking hot dog cart smell. Hot dogs. Hot dogs. I mean, they don't shout at you anymore. Yeah. Well, it's the people at stadiums and arenas that shout at you. You ever see that one guy at Cubs games? Yeah. Hot dogs. When he goes, hot dogs, and scares the shit out of everyone here. Yeah. That's a guy dedicated to his job, dude. I fuck with that. I mean, that's how, and especially in the, like, today's world, that's going to go viral.

50:35But that's not going to do anything. They're not going to, like, give him a boost. Like, hey, good job. Here's an extra couple bucks. Do you think that maybe those people get paid based on how many they sell? No. So what's the incentive to, like, go so hard? I guess just, like, enjoying your job. I mean, yeah. It's just, like, you might as well have fun doing it. I think it doesn't look good if they sell none. Right. I mean, yeah, I'm sure. Correct. I'm sure. I mean, I'd just be eating those bitches then. If I went up a whole section and no one bought it, I'd be like, I'm popping one. I mean, but then you need to pay for it.

51:08Nah, no shot. So then they'll say, you have sold none, but there are three missing. What happened? They're not going to count the hot dogs. It's food. Brother, I can almost guarantee. You have inventory. I can guarantee that they will to some degree. No. Oh, there's breakage. Bro, they count in everything. Bro, I'll make up another lie then. I was punched in the eye and someone stole a hot dog. There's hundreds of cameras in these places. This was a silent assassin, Frank. But the camera's still capturing the video. I had to test the fucking hot dog to make sure a lady wouldn't buy. Okay, why three then?

51:46Why did I eat three? Yeah, Joe. You know what? This is a great... I'll be the boss. Okay. Why are there three missing hot dogs from your hot bag? there is three missing there's three minutes you went we we clocked you at going out there with 20 and there's 17 in here now i mean i sold all of them maybe there was like something with the transaction you sold because your transactions say you've done no transactions maybe it's something with the reader i sold all the what do you think i ate where did you sell them to the people what what section because you're working this section you're working section Which specific section?

52:22Yeah. I mean, I'm in 108, 109, and 110. So in there. Okay. Do you mind if we pull up the video? Pull up the video. All right. Let's look at the video.

52:33It shows you eating the hot dog. Well, yeah. I had a hot dog. You had three.

52:42Here's the video of you having a first hot dog. Yeah. A minute later having the second one. I'm allowed to eat the hot dog, right? Not ours. who am I allowed to eat? You can take it out of my paycheck, I guess. Okay, we will be docking your pay. And also, you're fired for eating on the job that's not yours. First of all... That's theft. First of all... That's theft. One hot dog? Theft. Theft? Theft. I'm an employee here. I need to eat. I'm starving. I had a headache. That's why you have a break. I'm walking up and down stairs all day long. I have one hot dog, and now you're going to fire me? Yes.

53:18That is theft. Sue him. This is absolutely ridiculous. So what if I get so hungry that I get a headache and I fall down? Because those things are very heavy. I don't know if you've carried one of those before. If you have a medical condition, we hope that you would have shared that with HR. People just get hungry on the job. I'm working hard and it's hot out. That's why you have an allotted break period where you can eat on your allotted break time. The expectation is that during work time you are working, not eating. Joey? It was a long inning and they told me to go out during the inning. I had to go out in the third inning twice.

53:48So you cannot go an inning without eating? Then you're in the wrong line of work, which I am doing you a favor by firing. So medically you're filing me because now you're my doctor? No, I am firing you because what you did is theft. Period. End of story. You will be docked and you will also be - If you're going to dock my pay, it's not theft. But if I dock your pay this time, then the next time you will do it again and just be like, dock my pay and that's setting a standard that is not good for the company culture whatever you will be fired you need to be an example whatever and guess what we're gonna murder you in front of your co-workers if this is the type of company that you're worried about one hot dog from one of your employees who ate because of a medical condition you're going to fire me because of that i don't even want to fucking work here there's millions of dollars being generated here and all of us are working really hard and we don't get paid that much i eat one hot dog and now you're gonna fire me wrong i quit fuck this club fine no severance severance you were getting severance for your hot dog theft you were being fired with cause and we would have given you severance now you idiot i don't need the job now you get nothing now you get nothing now you get you get nothing i get another person i get another person for cheaper off the street you get nothing out of life you're worried about hot dogs it's 12 you put down the p &l sheet you'll be fine my job my job requires me to care about this.

55:12It's a baseball team. Guess what I have? A job. Guess what you have? Nothing and a fucking higher cholesterol for it now. You have nothing. Because you've never eaten a hot dog. You have nothing to show. Because you've never eaten a hot dog. You think that you're going to start some fucking movement of the masses where you stood up to the big fucking big team because you ate a hot dog. You really stuck it to the man. You're out of a job. You are nothing. You are the lowest of the low now and you're unemployed, you fucking idiot.

55:45you're gonna die early you'll die before me because you ate three hot dogs in a 10 minute span first of all it wasn't a 10 minute span it was the length of the game and i also didn't eat three hot dogs i ate one hot dog where'd the other two go i don't know logic stands to reason that if you lied initially about eating the first hot dog you're probably lying about the other two that What does it say about this company that I have to lie about eating a hot dog? I'm so scared of my superiors that I eat a hot dog and I have to lie about it because I can't even eat a hot dog. Just feed us. If you're trying to tackle company culture, do it with a lawyer on your unemployed time.

56:25You're not going to do it now. You're done, dude. And you quit. So now we have no reason to give you severance. Who are you calling? No, I was recording our conversation. So explain that to the fucking papers, you bitch. I got you, and you're going down. It's over. You never talk to an employee like that, and I don't give a fuck if you fire me because guess what? Fuck the$13 you're taking out of my pay for the hot dog, which, by the way, now it's not theft. I'm coming for all of it, you fucking bitch. You're getting fired. Guess what? I work and live in the state of New York. I understand that you need two-party consent in order to record someone, and you didn't inform me that I was being recorded.

57:06So that is inadmissible in court. Now that's inadmissible. Call up the legal eagle. You're fucking done, idiot. You think you played Perry Mason gotcha on me? You don't even know. I know about recording. I record people all the time. Another admission. You're fired. Inadmissible in court. But the papers will hear about it and you will be fired. The papers. You think I'm real worried about the fucking New York Times hearing about Joe Sanagato got fired for eating a hot dog on the fucking job. They're going to be like, what an idiot. He should have just not ate the hot dog. No one's going to think that way.

57:38Yes, they will. Who are you fighting for? The common man? Yes. You're a fraud. You got caught red-handed, red-glizzy down your throat, and now you want to try to be some fucking, some martyr for a movement? I work at this ballpark. Not anymore. And I sell. I worked at this ball, this big bowl of shit. This place. I did work here. and I got paid minimum wage to sling hot dogs for you guys, which I did. I ate one hot dog, and now you, in a senior position, are not only firing me, but stepping on my head on the way out the door, which means you're stepping on the heads of all the employees who work on the same level as me, and I have you on tape doing that.

58:23You're done, buddy. Guess what? You're done. If you had been honest from the jump, this is now no longer about the theft. It is about the character. if you had been honest I'm sure you care about that you know what I ate the hot dog because I was hungry we would have had a separate conversation but you you completely absolutely so it's not about money it's not about money because if you're lying no no no it is theft but if you now on top of it you're lying about eating the hot dog now it's like okay what else is he gonna lie I gave him you the opportunity to be honest about it and he lied to my face you're a sick man look at the video look at you eating in that fucking video you're a sick man you're a sicko I'm sick You're sick.

59:02You know what I am, though? I might be sick, but I'm employed. Yeah, not for long, you jerk. And scene. And scene. Great job, dude. Great to work with. Really, really nice and really fun job working with. I love what you did there. I really, really appreciated the passion. I love your choices. It felt like I was arguing with the movement. I was in the ballpark, and I felt like you were there. I could see your suit. I could just feel the... Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation.

59:40Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception and it won't impact your future fertility. That's freedom to be. Use as directed. I could taste the hot dog on your breath. That's how real it was. I was there. I was smelling the ballpark. Yes, 100%. Yeah, you actually helped us set the scene. Thank you so much. But really, class act. Really enjoyed working with you. Thank you so much. If you ever want to work together in the future, no hesitation, please.

1:00:13Yeah, it really, yes. I have Joe vs. The State of Hot Dogs. Case closed.

1:00:20Well, it's a kind of a cliffhanger. We don't know what's going to happen to these characters. That's 100 % right. We don't know if it actually will be held up. It is actually art, so it can be interpreted in any way that anyone wants to interpret it. Blade Runner, you know, the ending of Citizen Kane, the ending of this argument. You don't know. There's no clear answer as to what happened. You ever see the end of Inception? We don't know if that thing's going to topple over or not. It's kind of the same deal here. Christopher Nolan, fucking Stanley Kubrick, Joe and Frank from the basement yard.

1:00:51What are you going to do? Someone better fucking hire us after that. After that? You know? We are really good. At what? Improv? I like just being... Oh, if it involves yelling at each other, forget about it. Yeah. Also, I have more ads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should probably get to that. I actually have three more here. Three? Three. Packed episode. Yeah. Listen, whoa, I don't know what sound I just made, to be honest with you, but it's totally okay. But listen, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. If you want to talk to a therapist, which I think that you should, even if you have nothing dramatic going on in your life, I believe that is helpful in a myriad of ways.

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1:04:51Prescription requires the website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride. Boom. Love that. Love that for us, honestly. Yeah. Love that for us. What was the thing with the cruise line? You said you brought that up before? I saw something that a cruise line, I believe in Europe, is starting to find people that bring food from the cruise back to their rooms. Have you been on a cruise? Are you insane? Cruise, cruise. I'm thinking Tom Cruise. I've never been on a cruise. Not my thing.

1:05:33I don't like being trapped. You seem like you're a big cruise guy. Like a Disney cruise? He's like, no, I would hate a cruise. You put Mickey Mouse on that bitch, though. He's gooning for cruising. He's gooning for cruising. Have you been on a cruise? Just once. It's where my dad won Mr. Sexy Legs, famously. Mr. Sexy Legs? Yes, we've talked about this. Your dad's a good-looking guy. I've never seen his legs. I don't know if I've seen his legs to confirm that they're sexy. Yes, I'll hide his legs, because... They're so sexy. Exactly. He's got sexy legs for real. Apparently. He's got a big calf or something?

1:06:03Can you pull a picture of your dad's legs? Not sure how I would. Does he... Can you have a picture of your dad in shorts? He's got ankles? Like nice ones? No. I love ankles. What makes a leg sexy? And obviously talking about male legs because... Oh, we're talking about male legs? Well, his Mr. Sexy legs. Right, my father. I think like a tanned, muscular leg. Your dad's not tan. Well, it was dead of winter when you saw him, but he gets tan. Yeah, he's Italian. Not all Italians get tan. I mean, is he full Italian? Yeah. They get tan. He could all of them. It depends on where they're from in Italy.

1:06:43I mean, he tans with the best of them. He's out there. He can all of it up. Yeah. I guess, but like what, like, so you were on the cruise. You saw him win Mr. Sexy. I did indeed. How old were you? Man, I might have been like seven. Oh, wow. So you know what was going on. You know nothing about it. I didn't know what was going on. I just know he got a ribbon. That's it? Does he still have it? There's no way. Did he give him like a margarita or something? No. What did he win for being Mr. Sexy? He got like a... Just a sash. Sash, is that what it's called? Just a sash. Oh, that's kind of dope, though.

1:07:12But it was in view of the whole cruise. Would you honestly, from what you know about your father, would you say his legs are sexy? He's the reigning champ. I mean, when you were seven, brother. This was 15 years ago. I don't know how old you are. He might be out of his sexy legs prime. You ever walk around your dad and be like, damn, he's got some fucking good legs on him? Yeah, probably. That's fire. I just don't know. What do your dad's legs look like? Shit. Are we comparing dad legs? My dad, well, he got his knees replaced. Both? Yeah. My dad walked around like a, I made this joke before. It looks like someone took a bat, put it in between his legs, and just fucking went like that.

1:07:56Bro, now that I think about it... His knees look like dog shit. I don't really know your dad's knees because I feel like when he does wear shorts, they're below the knee, so I don't really see that. Yeah, my dad does. I feel like that generation, it was like, no one's going to see my thighs. My dad doesn't wear capris. He just wears long shorts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I feel like I've only seen your dad in sandals. Like, literally everywhere. He's either wearing sandals or pumas. Nothing in between. he had like at one point like five pairs of pumas like those like pumas that like ralph we used to wear you know which was italian dude the like ones that like they are meant for athletes but my dad is not like very famously in 50 years very i very make i want to make sure i make that very clear did your dad play sports yeah he said he was uh soccer and uh he was big into handball.

1:08:49Handball? Yeah, like handball. I know what handball is. I just want to make sure. Not everyone that knows. I was confused that it would be handball. Well, it's like a very New York City Hispanic kid thing to play. Yeah. Which he probably could have went pro, but... In handball? He was playing handball every day for like 10 hours. What is professional handball? It's a thing. Is it? Yeah, dude. There's like pro leagues of handball? Yeah. Bro, our high school was mad good at handball. Mad good. Mad good. You guys had white preppy kids. We had, it was strictly Asian. No, there was one, there was one, there was one star white.

1:09:23Our shit was heavily Asian and they were nasty. Bro, my high school, it was like the Hispanics. They were good. They were, I think they were like the city champs. Bro, these Asian kids would have whooped their ass. Nah, no shot. Bro, they were like back to back to back champs. Your, your St. Francis prep handball team wouldn't even fucking sniff a candle. I guarantee. against any one of the fucking, like, Hispanics, Puerto Ricans that lived in the Ravenswood projects at Bryant High School. Sorry, dude. You guys might have had fucking us beating everything else. No, bro. Definitely not handball.

1:10:01Bro, I'm telling you, these Asian kids were savages at handball. I know. They're not beating... Because they're playing... They're not beating inner city public park handball kids. I don't know, bro. They were good. They might have been good. They're not... I would love to go back in time and really put these two legs together. You take your best player, put it up against a Bryan High School Puerto Rican. Those are your dad's legs. Yo, honestly. At the time, I think this is at the time he won it. These are my dad's legs. I've got to be honest, dude. Man, those are your dad's legs? Those are some fucking like...

1:10:40Your dad's legs are like Pierce Brosnan's. Yeah, I'm not even kidding. I was thinking James Bond. Yeah. Yeah, dude your dad's got fucking legs on him. That's Mr. Sexy legs right there. Damn, what beach is this? It's a great question, I have no idea. That is a nice beach. Also the water looks gorgeous. Yeah. Those are really good legs. See, and those are tan legs. Those are tan legs. See the guy's super fucking - Also, you know there's a big pair of balls right at the top of those things. Oh my god, yeah, you just know. Because this guy talks about his giant balls. I know. He's probably in pain by the time he walked back from the water.

1:11:10Yeah, he's bouncing balls around. He's getting out the water and he's just like - He's crazy. He's gonna hate I did this. he's gonna hate it well they're not seeing his face so i know no one's gonna be able to put his alleged leg alleged legs yeah they're not gonna be able to put a name to the legs yeah a face to the legs yeah that's mr sexy legs wow but yeah i'm not a crew i don't know if i'm a cruise guy i open i've been very public in my disdain for the open ocean yeah it's not great also if i'm on a cruise and you're telling me i can't go back to my room with food the fuck are you gonna do yeah dude what are you gonna do realistically i also imagine it's like no you also have to i've never been on a cruise i imagine it's not the greatest quality food so like you're gonna be like you're not taking this food back to your room like you should be fucking thankful that i'm taking this dog shit burger i think that cruises probably go out of their way to make sure the food's good i mean i'm sure at a certain level but like the restaurants like at a certain because there are obviously tiers wait there's no room service on a cruise I thought it was like a hotel.

1:12:10Ooh, that's a good question. I can't bring food into my home. Where am I going to go? No, I think they're saying if you take it from the restaurant or the buffet or something and bring it back to your room. I guess because it's all inclusive? There are different tiers to like cruises, right? Wait, all inclusive you can't get room service? I don't... Oh, that would drive me nuts. Do me a favor. I mean, look it up right now. Look up all inclusive cruises and see what it includes. If it specifies that there's no room service, I'm going to be angry. Those are two different searches. Yeah, just ask if cruises have room service.

1:12:39If it's all-inclusive, everything better be included. It's in the name. All-inclusive. Shoot me with a gun. What does it say? He's panicking right now. He's panicking right now. I saw a video recently of someone taking a bucket of something and dumping it over a cruise ship, and you just see what's around, and it's terrifying, dude. What does that mean? Bucket of what? What? Food? Chum? I don't know. Bro, that could have meant anything. I don't know what you're talking about. What do you think I'm talking about? They're dumping a bucket of, like, human hair? No, I just didn't know what you meant.

1:13:15But they were dumping stuff to, like, attract animals. And it showed you, like, what fucking got after it. Yeah, dude. That's terrifying. It says there's room service, but not all items could be free, even in the all-inclusive. It depends per cruise line. I think it's just more how you get charged extra if you have meat, even on the Korean barbecue spots sometimes, you know? When you have meat at the Korean barbecue spot, you get charged? You get charged extra if you order more meat, but you didn't eat it because it's like buffet style. I think it's just kind of like that. Brother, if I'm going to an all-inclusive and I get charged for anything extra, I'm burning that place to the ground.

1:13:58Yeah. Are you like when you go to hotels, do you take stuff? Yeah. take what you take stuff i take what take what like soaps it depends like so when we were doing our our last two rounds of shows when we would go from like a hotel to an airbnb i would take soap because sometimes they're not well stocked and if it was like a or if we were going from a hotel to another hotel because hotels that give you this much body walks huh body walk body walk come on um but like it depends like when we went to the in toronto the nobu they left like a thing of chocolate i took that to bring it home you know like i take i take little trinkets to hotel chocolates ass i don't know if i've ever actually eaten it i've i've i've eaten it sometimes it's like oh that place in particular gave me a fucking edible zen garden i bro that was actually delicious i was eating sand and raking it at the same time so when i went back for the world series for a day the zen garden was there because they they have they oh because greg was like talking to that hotel via email it was like a new hotel at the time so that person hit up greg and was like we saw joe's video because i talked about the zen garden i thought it was a legit zen garden and then i found out in the video and i was eating it oh they told me because like it came with a card that said what it was you don't read you just just like i'm not even kidding it might have taken me seven seconds to figure it out the issue that i have with reading is if there's a picture i'm just gonna go off of that and it looked like a rake it yeah like they gave me a rake so what am i to believe what was it it was it was like boys i mean like it was like graham cracker crumbs yeah i know it's in garden it was like graham cracker crumbs and like there was like a like a thing of like you know like a cream cream cheese but like a creme fraiche almost and like interesting and the rocks looked like real rocks but they were chocolate yeah did it not look any form of edible bro it looked mad real it looked very real i think i could find a picture of it So they give you a little rake, and I tried to rake it, and then I was like, this isn't rakeable, because I thought it was just going to be sand.

1:16:01So then I was like, oh, it's edible. Then I started reading. I was like, oh, shit is edible. And then I started eating it. Because there was a spoon, now that I think about it, and I just kind of ignored that. I was like, that's weird. Maybe they want me to dig a hole in this thing? Someone left a spoon. I thought it was because the whole place is like very, it's like wood, and it's like nobu. so i thought it was just kind of like a i don't know some like over the top luxurious little thing and i was like it's kind of ridiculous that i'm gonna sit here and like play in the sand but it was edible it was mad good trying to airdrop it to you but it's just waiting slack why didn't you oh my god but it was good um but yeah whenever i go to a hotel and they like leave a bit of chocolate on like your nightstand or your pillow that chocolate is usually ass also chocolate on planes disgusting when i was in switzerland though that was good chocolate that was good this is taking too long the payoff does not actually it's not going to be honestly i think you've ruined it i the swiss chocolate was good though dude the swiss know what they're doing with their chocolate oh yeah and uh no not great swiss cheese isn't my favorite i can't remember the last time i had swiss cheese yeah i had a i told you this i told you i had a recently that just completely like it was like aged i still got some home i'll have a piece what are you gonna do about it me nothing damn right you're not why am i being threatened yeah if i was on a cruise and they said they were taking extra money because i took food back to my room i am now that i think about it if if i'm somewhere on a ship and i'm getting food and i take that back to my room what am i doing i mean like why what am i gonna bring my plate up there i mean sometimes people will and they'll eat the food like they'll put it in their little fridge and like save it for later but would you do that brother that's a fucking look at that i know it doesn't not look tasty bro it was tasty it was really good it was like so like it's like that crumble and then underneath it was like a cream cheese almost and that little sign where it says nobu hotel that's edible wow that's crazy i know they know what they're doing look at that we're really giving a promo shout if we do if we do more a little bit sorry my bad more toronto shows we got to stay there uh well i mean if they hear this that'd be great a little discount yeah because some of the people that stayed there with us oh yeah the room service there it is a very nice hotel though um but what are we talking about remember that bath deep fucker dude it was like a wooden box.

1:18:35Yeah, I was slight. My ass slit. It took like an hour for the water to fill up. That's not true. It was like, that is not in the quality of the spout or the water flow, just how big it was. It was a big fucking tub. You ever been in those rooms where there's a hot tub kind of just in the middle of it? When we were in... Like a honeymoon suite at a motel? Not really, but like sorta. What's it called? The hotel we stayed at when we did the Vegas show? It had... Oh, yeah. It had like, so like the bed was here. It was like the TV. And then it was like a half wall. And behind it was a tub. Yeah. But like it wasn't a tub.

1:19:13It was like a square. Square, but it went down like far. It was like four and a half feet deep. It was very horny setup. It was weird. It was a very horny setup. Like literally like you're facing the wall and there's a section that's just open and you can see like part of the tub. So it's like, you know, someone could take a bath and you're watching TV. and you're watching someone put soap on their boobs. Yeah, it was weird. Lovely. It's Vegas. You two seem like the type that you would get caught in a situation where, well, the only upgrade is the honeymoon suite. Has that ever happened? To me?

1:19:46No. That happens in, like, movies in the 80s. That's what I'm saying. What we have left is the honeymoon suite. Yeah, yeah. You get there and the whole bed's a heart-shaped or something. Yeah, and, like, you look up and it's the heart-shaped mirror. i honestly think that uh if i were to walk into a hotel room and it was like a honeymoon suite i'd like this place is covered in jizz like i would yes i wouldn't want to live there 100 yes when you really think about hotel rooms that's why i don't you don't think about it i don't think about it but it's like anywhere that's not your place yeah that's why i don't think about it it's kind of we've been to airbnbs and and like there was one time i was just like oh this is someone's bed Something happened in here.

1:20:25When I was in London recently. I can't get the stink out of my fucking. It smells like burnt hot dog in here. It's crazy. But when I was in London recently, the room that I was staying in, there was like pictures all over the wall. And it was like this girl who looked like she was 18 years old. And I'm like, am I laying in this girl's bed? Like, this is weird. Yeah. Like, I'm in her bedroom. Oh, an Airbnb. It was an Airbnb. Yeah. But that happens. They looked American. Like, I think they were American. And they had, having a place in London and you're American. Flex. These people got money. Flex.

1:20:53But I was like, this is so weird. I'm in someone's bed. You'll have it soon enough. A place in London? You're a big enough Arsenal fan that you'll have a place in London. You'll have a flat. I got a flat. Flat. And then you'll be like, oh, well, now I have to go at least three, four times a year to justify it. Oh, whoops. I really liked it. I could see it. I could see Joey having a place like that. I might. Fuck it. I won't. I definitely won't. Why not? Why not? Let's do it together. Let's go Habsies on it. We split Halbsies is two We get three Z's There is no word for three people It's halbsies or Three Z's No There I'll go three Z's I'll go two and a half Z's He's gonna take He's gonna take Mr.

1:21:37Sexy Legs' money That's what he's gonna do That's what he's gonna do It wasn't a cash prize He just said you're gonna take your dad's money Because you're broke That was crazy I didn't say that You heard that right First of all I didn't say that Second of all Don't fucking point at me Put that down Now it's just halbsies He's out Wow Yeah do it do it. Do it and see what happens. What's gonna happen? I won't show up to a single one of these live shows that we're doing. Which show? Maybe I won't show up to the September 2010 September 10th Durham, North Carolina. Maybe I won't show up to the September 12th Charlotte, North Carolina.

1:22:10Or maybe the September 24th Minneapolis, Minnesota or the September 26th Indianapolis, Indiana. What about the October 2nd show in fucking Charleston, South Carolina? I don't know. What other one is next to that? October 3rd, I think, is Atlanta. That's so tough, but I'm really feeling like I'm in a spiritual mood. So how about maybe I don't show up to the October 16th in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania? Well, you can't miss November 7th in Buffalo. What about that one? Oh, I don't know. I think at that time I might be down south a couple weeks later at December 5th in Baltimore, Maryland. All right, but then it's going to be cold down there at that time.

1:22:44Maybe we want to heat it up a little bit and go to Austin, Texas on December 10th. That's a good idea, but on the drive, maybe we can hit a Buc-ee's going to December 11th, Dallas, Texas. And then we could also hit another Buc-ee's or two more Buc-ee's on the way to Houston on December 13th. That's not a bad idea, but you know what? That's a lot of traveling. I don't want to do all that. I'd rather just do January 15th, Newark, New Jersey. Well, if you want to get real close to your house, then maybe we can go to February 5th and go to Red Bank, New Jersey. Not a bad idea, but you know what? I am feeling a little, like, uh, outdoorsy.

1:23:15Yeah, so like February 23rd and 24th in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Yeah, that could be cool. BC, baby. That could be cool. The day after my birthday, though, we're going to have to go somewhere nice and warm. February 26th, maybe we go to LA. Yeah, that's not a bad idea, but you know what? That's all fun, but what's been really kind to us has been Chicago, Illinois on March 12th. Yeah, yeah, that's true. At the Chicago Theater. And if you guys want to go, you guys can just go to TheBasementYard.com on Wednesday, June 17th at 12 p.m. noon Eastern. And the presale code is BASEMENT. I was so worried that I was going to think that there was no presale code, but there isn't.

1:23:56It's BASEMENT. It's BASEMENT. It is BASEMENT. Okay. So Wednesday, June 17th at noon Eastern. You know what, though? I'm afraid that it's just going to be the same old show. It's not the same old show, Frank. Actually, it's going to be a brand new show and a lot more fun. Brand new show? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Newark one is my birthday show. What? I'm January 16th. That's January 15th. Oh, no one cares. No, that would be fun. Wow. No birthday show for one of us. Nerd. You already had two birthdays. Oh, wait. No, you did. Yeah, you did. You had one. We say happy birthday to you at the Vancouver show the second year.

1:24:39I wasn't there. Did we? Yeah. You don't remember? It was a picture of you turning 40. It was like you with a cane and you were an old bastard. Got it. I remember that now. Yeah. Well, there you have it, folks. But, yeah, we're going back on tour. Really hope to see you guys out there. We're super excited. But, like I said, Wednesday, June 17th, noon Eastern, thebassmear.com. So fucking awesome. Thank you guys so much for always being supportive through Patreon, through watching this show. And, you know, hopefully we'll see you out there at our live shows. We're really excited to put on a good show for you guys.

1:25:12So thank you so much. Frank? Yeah. Where can they find you? F. Alvarez? No. I was going to say my email. The Frank Alvarez on social media. What about you, Ant? I'll do antprisco on Instagram. And you guys can follow me at Joe Santagato and go follow the show at The Basement Yard on all forms of social media. And that is all. See you out there on tour.

1:26:09We'll see you next time. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MY-RESET, Connecticut. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas, FedTax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21 and over, void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in seven days or trade with DraftKings Predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable rewards issued as$50. Click to claim every seven days for 21 days. Terms at dkng.co slash offer.

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