In short
The episode mixes a sponsor-driven emergency contraception ad (Plan B) with the hosts’ long, explicit stories and banter about summer water activities—especially tubing, getting dragged by boats, and painful water jumps (cannonballs, pencil dives, belly flops). They also discuss body insecurities (nipples/chest hair), internet nostalgia, and how shared experiences lose “specialness” when everyone knows them.
Guests
No guest names are provided in the transcript. It appears to be two main hosts (Frank and another speaker) plus occasional sponsor reads.
Key claims
Plan B delays ovulation after unprotected sex and is available nationwide without ID or prescription; it’s OBGYN-recommended and won’t impact future fertility. The hosts claim tubing can “mash” balls and cause raw, stinging injuries; they also argue nostalgia becomes less personal as it becomes widely shared online.
Notable examples
Being dragged by a boat/banana boat wake with pants pulled off; “drop-off” dock-skating; headbutting someone during a fall; cannonball hurting the “rim of the asshole”; discussing Benson Boone backflips and Xbox/Flash-game nostalgia.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOCasual Banter and Shirt Talk
0:39 to 2:36
Hosts engage in light-hearted banter about clothing and personal anecdotes.
“You picked the hottest day of the year so far to wear the thickest knit shirt of the year.”
Nipple Discussion
2:36 to 4:36
Hosts humorously discuss their feelings and experiences regarding their nipples.
“If we look up the internet, they will say that.”
Diving and Water Skills
4:36 to 6:54
Discussion on diving techniques and water jumping experiences.
“I can count my chest hairs, like, by number.”
Tubing Adventures
6:54 to 11:07
Hosts share wild stories about tubing experiences and the associated antics.
“because if you land straight on your back, that's going to hurt so bad.”
Cannonballs and Water Humor
11:07 to 14:00
A humorous discussion about performing cannonballs and the experiences in water.
“My pants shot to my ankles and it felt like my dick was being stretched all the way back to my feet like a tail.”
Cannonball Confessions
14:00 to 16:44
The hosts share humorous stories about the pain of cannonballs and water fun.
“So that's the thing if you jump high enough High enough with a cannonball water will shoot up up.”
Lake House Adventures
17:08 to 22:03
The hosts reminisce about tubing and experiences at the lake house.
“Oh, you've never been to the lake house.”
Lake House Adventures
22:24 to 24:18
The hosts reminisce about tubing and experiences at the lake house.
“They're the biggest therapy platform in the world.”
Lake House Adventures
24:24 to 24:48
The hosts reminisce about tubing and experiences at the lake house.
“While you're doing it, if you want to save yourself a couple extra bucks, do it on a web browser.”
Filibuster Talk
24:48 to 25:36
A humorous discussion on how long one can talk uninterrupted and filibuster.
“North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas shows.”
Show all 29 chapters
Filibuster Talk
25:39 to 28:04
A humorous discussion on how long one can talk uninterrupted and filibuster.
“If that was me, I'd be like, guys, seriously, shouldn't we take that out?”
Understanding Filibusters in Politics
28:04 to 30:26
Learn about the concept of filibustering and its implications in politics.
The Challenge of Long Discussions
30:27 to 36:28
Explore the difficulties and experiences of engaging in lengthy discussions or podcasts.
“shot for 25 hours no way i don't care about anything that much i mean that's not true you You care about your family.”
Nostalgia and Shared Experiences
36:29 to 41:14
Discuss the nature of nostalgia, shared experiences, and their impact on personal memories.
The Complexity of Shared Experiences
41:43 to 42:07
Delve deeper into how shared experiences shape individual memories and feelings.
“I'm like, oh, I'm not supporting this bullshit.”
Nostalgic Gaming Experiences
42:07 to 50:45
The hosts reminisce about their favorite childhood online games and the evolution of gaming.
“Bro, Candy Stand had a golf game, like a mini golf game.”
Sponsor: Rocket Money
50:45 to 51:45
The hosts discuss Rocket Money, a personal finance app that helps manage subscriptions and expenses.
“So you're going to want to put all your expenses in one place and you start canceling the ones that you don't use.”
Sponsor: Cachava
51:45 to 53:49
The hosts promote Cachava, a nutrition supplement that provides all-in-one health benefits.
“You do that a few times, you're saving a couple hundred bucks every single year doing these things.”
Mummy Yeast and Unique Topics
53:49 to 56:00
The hosts humorously discuss scientists using yeast from a mummy in baking and other quirky subjects.
“The yeast is in the stomach after that long?”
Yeast Talk and Streamers
56:00 to 56:49
Discussion about yeast and a streamer who made beer with her yeast.
“I think they got that shit locked, loaded, ready in the chamber.”
Clam References and Mummies
57:20 to 1:00:04
A humorous discussion about terms for female anatomy and mummified beers.
“No, it was good phonetically, but physically it hurt.”
Dick Cooking Show Ideas
1:00:05 to 1:02:39
Imaginary cooking show featuring humorous takes on food related to anatomy.
“Chef, tell me how you absolutely just pulverized this beef into mouth-watering, tender-y goodness.”
Beer and Bacteria Science
1:02:40 to 1:05:36
Exploration of the science behind beer fermentation and bacteria.
“If I swam in a vat of beer and sold it just for...”
Explosions and Hollywood
1:05:37 to 1:10:01
Discussion on explosions in Hollywood and their unrealistic portrayals.
“I forgot the exact term, but, like, it's the process of going from solid to gaseous.”
Explosions in Hollywood
1:10:01 to 1:10:46
The hosts discuss the unrealistic portrayal of explosions in movies.
“Isn't it funny how Hollywood decided that, like, walking out of an exploded house is fire?”
Defining an Explosion
1:10:47 to 1:11:36
A lighthearted debate on what constitutes an explosion and its implications.
“I don't know if I've ever seen like an actual explosion.”
Origins of the Word 'Explosion'
1:11:37 to 1:12:57
The hosts explore the etymology of the word 'explosion' and its historical context.
Taping Up and Humility
1:12:58 to 1:15:25
A humorous recounting of the experiences and drawbacks of being taped up.
“And it actually means to drive out by clapping or to clap someone off stage.”
Patreon Goals and Future Plans
1:15:26 to 1:16:56
The hosts discuss their upcoming Patreon goals and future content.
“Which is coming, we should probably say.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN-recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom the B. Use as directed. Welcome back to the Bay. Hello! Hello! Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, what are you doing? You know, that was me dribbling.
0:44That was me dribbling. One more time. Right. But I'm, wow. That was poor dribbling on my part. Correct. I, you know, feeling good dribble wise. Nice. Dribbling, dribbling and shooting. Yeah. How are you? I'm good. And you got a brand new shirt. So how are you doing? I'm good. I'm feeling good. Yeah. Is this the first wear? It's not the first wear. Oh, damn. I will say this. You picked the hottest day of the year so far to wear the thickest knit shirt of the year. No, it's breathable. I can kind of see. You can see me. I can see you a little bit. I can see you too, though. But I also know thread counts.
1:20You know what's crazy? What? I've never seen his nipples. Have you never seen my nipples? I've never seen your nipples. I don't think I've seen your nipples. It's summer. I'll nipple it up with you. I've never seen his nipples. I mean. You've seen my nipples. I've seen your nipples quite a bit I hate my nipples I know When you see my nipples Do you also hate them with me? Is it a form of support? No Actually this is a good question I hate my nipples Right Do you hate my nipples with me As support for my mental approach And outlook on my nipples? Or Do you like my nipples In order to pull me out of the hatred of my own nipples?
1:55I'm not going to enable this self-hate you have for your nipples It's not self-hate I love every other part of me This Rectangular you know oh you're including all of it i thought it was just the nipples this area i hate so like what would we say this is what like 13 inches by three inches so what is that 13 times three is you got it 39 39 square inches of my body are my least favorite okay okay so do you also dislike it with me no so you're all right because this is good to know because i've you know obviously i've made fun of you for a lot of things so if you also don't like something about yourself you want me to pull you out of it and reassure you that you shouldn't be upset about it instead of being like yeah also yeah fuck that shit fuck your fucking stupid ass nose let me ask you a question when your wife uh if ever has said something to you like hey i'm feeling insecure about this thing i don't really like this part about my body what's your reaction because what you're expecting from me is probably not what you should i remind her that she is sculpted out of marble she's got Among women and humans and however you choose to identify.
3:05Right. Yeah. So that's what I'm doing. But this is different. That's what I'm doing for you. But this is different, though, brother. How could Biden be? Because we're not a partner. We're not partners. And can we get a fact check on that? Look that up. If we look up the internet, they will say that. They might tell us the opposite. Are we counting areola or just the points? Nipple. Nipple. Of course we're counting areola. That's the whole nipple. All right. So it's like the term vagina. It's everything that's going on in the wallet. Got it. You got the cards, you got the ID. The nipple and the areola are boys.
3:34They go together. Yeah, but sometimes... Like, wobble, wobble, wobble, bing, bing, bing, bing. That's all it is. That was Grease, wasn't it? I'm gonna... Yep. Yeah, give me a second. Yeah, but you know how sometimes if your nipple's not hard, it's like all areola? Yeah, that's why I'm like... Yeah, that's why you're touching up. I'll give him a little... I'm not kidding. When my shit's not hard, it's like a milk dud, and I get pissed off because I love milk duds, and I hate my nipples. Milk duds are dark. Your shits aren't dark like that. Not that dark, but I'm just referencing in the kind of like molded, rounded...
4:04Nope, that's a round. Molded? Like rounded, molded, you know. Oh, you're saying molded like sculpted. Yes, yeah, like malleable. I'm thinking molded. No, no, I don't have moldy tits. That's what I thought you said. I don't think I have moldy titties. I hope not. You got hair? You got hair around the nipple? Do you? I think I have weird ones. Yo, my chest hair, first of all, God, as if this guy needed anything else. He's rich, he's good looking, he's athletic. You got good chest hair, dude. I got, no. I actually do think I have a decent chest hair. I'm not kidding. I can count my chest hairs, like, by number.
4:39Like, that's how little there are. That's him, but like his whole body. Me too, but my whole thing, yeah. Oh, my leg hairs are, my, I, Danny Lopriori always used to tell me, always is a crazy thing to say. Every day of my life that he would be astonished at how hairless I was. But, but like, do you have hairless legs? No, the legs are hairy. And the thigh, too. You see my leg? Yeah, your leg is insane. Bro, I don't... I can't... No, you got hair on your legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, you got ashy knees, dude. What are you doing? He needs lotion on those. You gotta throw some. Where are you going?
5:12Oh, he's gonna kick over the chair and shit. Yo, it is crazy. What is that? Yeah, yeah. I mean... I got nothing. Also, am I seeing... I can see your pores from here, I think. Bro, I know. I got nothing. That's crazy. Good for you, man. Honestly, though... Are you excited about that? That's why you were able to tread water for so long. You're like Phelps. You're hairless and you're a rat. It was more because Joe bet me. No, but you're built for the water. I am built for the water. A little amphibious. Can you dive well? Sure. Off a diving board? Yeah. Where else are you? You could dive off a cliff.
5:45I've done that. You could dive off. I think if you're able to dive off of a cliff, you could dive off. Just dive. Yeah, I'm good at diving. You? I remember watching you dive and you would like frog-legged. Sometimes, yeah. And you would frog-legged. But you made it look good, again, with your chest hair, you fuck. No, but one time I dove and Nicole took a video. And I was like, yo, that's the best dive I've ever seen. I mean, for me. Not in my life. Oh, yeah. But a lot of the time, I'm not a really good diver, to be honest. Yeah. I'm not brave. Give me your best three jumps in the water. How could I possibly describe that?
6:20You could do that. Your best, like, if someone was like, yo, we're doing a jumping in the water contest. Oh, which things would I do? Then you're on the podium, jumps in the water. Okay. I would attempt a dive because when I can get it right, I just got to be mentally strong. So you're taking the gamble. Yeah, I'm going to gamble that. Well, I don't have a big arsenal here. I mean, you've got a good amount. I don't think so. I would do that. Then I'd probably do... I think I could do a decent front flip. That's a tough one because high risk, high reward again. because if you land straight on your back, that's going to hurt so bad.
6:58Yeah. Usually you land on kind of your butt. Yo, I wish I could do a gainer. I think that's the fucking coolest thing in the world. Dude, our friend Dennis used to do a gainer, and it was, I'm not kidding, what I imagined deep impact would have been. He would hit the water, and it was like, skundunk! Yeah, some people are good at that. Yo, Keith can hit a jackknife hard body karate. Wait, wait, wait, which one? Now, see, because different jumps have different names across different... You like jump and like it's a little bit of a spin. Yeah, you like hold your one knee. I thought that was gainer.
7:29Which one is gainer? Gainer is when you're running and you flip back. Oh, you're doing a shooting star press? Yes. Like you're fucking Evan Bourne? Yes. Jesus. Billy Kidman? Yeah, dude. Like those are sick. Oh, I didn't realize that's what you meant by gainer. Dude, if I could do a gainer, I wouldn't shut up about it. Bro, if I could backflip, I would. I mean, this is where we get into Benson Boone territory. I get it. because if I was that motherfucker, I'd be doubling up his flips. Yeah, but you know what, though? It's gotten to the point, like, he got so famous so fast that he needs to chill because if he keeps doing the backflip, it's just going to take one person to see him fall to get the ick because he'll be singing in backflip and then he'll, like, What the hell was that?
8:09Was that a ribbit? What was that? He'll make, like, a weird yelping noise and people will be like, Yo, like, fuck this guy. Nah, bro. I think that, um... No one ever made a noise. No one of the opposite sex ever made a noise and you're just like, ew. Like a girl made a noise and I was like, the fuck was that? Yeah, you never see... Nothing stands out at the moment. But I think that if I'm Benson Boone and someone's like, oh my god, backflip, ick, I'd be like, hey man, super successful, athletic, and I got a great voice, I'm chilling. Yeah, you know what Benson Boone has never done? So that MSG.
8:44Has he actually? Probably. By the way, if he hasn't, easily good. Yeah, probably. but alright so no pencil dive in there that was another one I can pencil dive like dropping an actual pencil into water you can? I'm very very good do you point your toes down? you have to so that's where I make a mistake but also a good pencil dive doesn't go straight down it curves you need to curve with it because you just cut through the water better I like that but I have jumped from a distance and I hit my feet on the water so hard that I got like a belly flop on the bottom of my feet. Yeah. And now I just got stinging feet.
9:25I struggle with if I should include belly flop in my top 10 water jumps. You're good at that? Dude, I am so, because you know how I am. I commit to the bit. So like I have done belly flops and just let it go. Like let it go. Like I'm fucking just Scott staff. You know what I mean? Like off the building. Yeah. You're going to go Elsa or something. Did you ever jump into a pool and your trunks came off? A bunch of times. Really? Yeah. Oh, the beach has taken my trunks, yeah. Beach has sucked your shit? Yeah, a wave just, like, sucked my pants off. We used to, you know, when we would tube at the lake, we had...
9:59My pants came up. Bro, my dick was dragging against the surface of that water. Yo, I'm not kidding. And his dad was driving the boat, and I'm hanging off the back, and my pants just, like, immediately shot to my ankles, and my raw dick is getting beat up by the waist. Yo, I have spent more time raw dicking that lake during tubing than I've been ever inside of a woman.
10:28Yeah, I've spent more time. Bro, we would go like anytime we would tube because we were fucking nuts with it. You remember. We would go three tubes at once, jump, and it was the most fun when someone would miss and their fucking pants would fly off. but we had a uh the big banana boat you remember the banana boat i do yeah and what we would do is we would kneel there would be six of us at a time three would kneel on the sides and one person on the back and yo water is powerful dude it's so hard it fucking it will take your shit and send it to fucking china dude honestly i'm not kidding there was one time i fell off the back of this tube and I'm holding on.
11:08My pants shot to my ankles and it felt like my dick was being stretched all the way back to my feet like a tail. Yeah, because you look at the wake of a boat when you're tubing and when you get to that, like you're about to go outside the wake, there's like the gobbles and bubbles going like this. So when you're on that edge of the wake and your dick is just getting beat like it is owing money. It's cutting your dick down the hole. Like in half. Yo, like, imagine being dragged. It's still weekly. It's been a lot of things. Yeah, bro, we're going to get more of it, too. We don't. We don't. This is, like, very real to us.
11:46Bro, like, I'm not kidding. My balls have gotten mashed, too, bro. I've often, I've spent a lot of time wondering what it would be like to get dragged by horse. And I know. Yeah, you do. Because I've been dragged by boat and tube. Yeah, I've been dragged by your Colombian father.
12:03Also, a lot of people when they're driving, especially children, drive the boat like this, right? Like the boat goes this way and you're hitting like waves. And people go like this. My dad was driving a ship like this. It's just fucking like you're all over the place. Also, like, oh my god, bro. I get so scared. Yo, honestly, my dad was a bitch about driving. It was Espo's dad and his grandfather that like, yeah. I mean, you know what Espo's dad looks like. The dude is tatted both arms. He's got a fucking mustache. He's got a spider web. A spider web. The spider web. This guy's taking children tubing.
12:43I'm getting launched in the air. Landing in the water. My balls are mashed. And he's going what felt like 500 miles per hour. Yeah. Chomping on a cigar. Looking back every five minutes to realize someone has fallen. Yeah. And like you would get fucking, you're hanging on like this and you're crying laughing because you see the person hanging on and like just let go. Like you just let go. But holding on to their shorts and their dick, dude, imagine if you just skull fucked a fucking bowl of marbles. Like it shit is just getting beat to fucking death. Yeah, it's really insane. And I have like a bunch of cuts.
13:22one time i fell off and i headbutt someone so hard that i like hit whatever and then as they went to come pick me up the boat drove by and i suppose dad like called me a bitch or something and i was like damn you're died in your leg yeah what are you talking about yep yeah i mean it was crazy but it's a lovely upbringing to be honest yeah so i'm also going cannonball cannonball is a classic that i'm pretty confident at this point when you go cannonball right when you jump into water and you do a cannonball are you like one of those people that like crosses their legs and like faces forward or do you lean no i i kind of honestly like i go up and i like you know like i like kind of go on my back okay and i feel like i'm you can push it down like i can push it down yeah which i know i can't so you're asshole you know if you put it like that yeah because i've done that i'm all jokes aside i don't know why i'm inside the cross who are you gonna god i've done a cannonball so hard and i don't know if it was the gravity that day but it legitimately hurt the rim of my asshole yo i'm not kidding when i was younger i don't know why my asshole would just suck in water randomly in body do you remember that shit it'd be like just randomly like okay what do you mean how would i remember your asshole movement i mean you did it oh my butt was getting water yeah oh of course yeah that's what i'm saying like bro you jump into water or stay in water long enough you're fucking it's gonna get in your ass it's like it's actually kind of a good I think my butt kind of probably talks with excitement like when I get really hyped like Yeah, it's like taking in water.
14:56So that's the thing if you jump high enough High enough with a cannonball water will shoot up up. I mean like it's not filling me It's not filling you up But you are kind of like animanizing your butt a little bit like if anything you're cleaning your shit out a little bit Yeah, it's probably a net positive and one of the few things I learned from meeting dr. Mike is there's so many sphincters that like It's not going to be dangerous, dude. No, no, no. You're not pressure washing your shit, but you're getting in there and you're cleaning the walls. No, tubing, you're pressure washing. Yeah, you are.
15:26Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, I can't even begin to express how much time we've spent tubing. Your shit gets like... I imagine if you took someone's dick and put it on those old-timey washboards that they used in the Oregon Trail. Yeah, and it's just... Honestly, it's just not funny, to be honest. I'll tell you this, though. We beat monetization into a bloody pulp there. Yeah, it's over for that. There's no way. At this point, just going to let it rip. There is no way that we're getting it. Dude, but what a good time. But yeah, man, I remember jumping in, and I got... Keith always makes fun of me because I didn't even think about what I was saying, but I jumped into our pool, and I came out of the water, and I was like, yo, that hurt my asshole so bad.
16:05Yeah, dude. You know, or like if you jump off... One time I jumped off a boat and landed in water, but I like landed like I was like sitting on the ground or something. Bro, clapped my whole ass, clapped my balls, my hamstrings. Yo, your shit was clapped 100%. My whole shit was, like, beat to hell. Was anyone around when your shit was getting clapped? Yeah, dude, I was in Connecticut. Oh, wow. I was jumping off of Espo's boat. People watching you get your shit. Like, we used to do, dude, we used to do something called the drop-off. Where... Oh, I've done this. You remember that shit? So, we all...
16:38Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom to Be. Use as directed. Oh, you've never been to the lake house. everyone had docks and what Espo's dad would do when he would take his tube in because bro big boat big wake went fast yeah and what he would do is it would be sometimes a little difficult to him to pull into the dock by himself to grab the whips and everything to like you know kind of tie up on the cleats he would just so he would come if this was the dock he would drive and just turn right here and it would whip the tubes so we knew it was coming so we would let go and you would skate off the fucking, bro, skip off the water like a rock.
17:45And like, there were times that like if you got a bad angle, you rolled over with it and like your butt was getting blasted. I used to fall off tubes and it's like pretending that you got hit really hard by like a character and you're like bouncing off the water like ping, ping, ping, ping, ping. Dude, you want to hear something that is so me-coated? Oh god. I'm going to be so happy about this. jeez that almost went through the table when we were like 12 years old bro we would go tubing three times a day which now if i went tubing now one time a day i'm done for three days yeah we would go tubing three times a day and at the end of every tubing session i'd be like good ride boys yo you suck good ride boys see before van diesel there was him you know what He's like, yo, we're family.
18:34There was never me. I've never existed in the world before Vin Diesel. You kidding me? Although I've never seen a Fast movie. You've never seen any of the Fast and Furious movies? Never. What? How did you even pull that off? I've never seen a minute of a single one of them. That's so weird. Almost like there's a clip of something. Even Tokyo Drift? None. Zero. Wow. That seems like the one I'd watch because of Bow Wow. But I didn't watch that one. Yeah, I didn't watch any of them. Bow Wow's in that even though? Pretty sure it's Bow Wow in Tokyo. What's that song? No, I didn't see that one. What song?
19:08Is that Drift? I'll have to say I don't know. Yeah. No, but I refused because we had known someone that got hit by a drag racer, so it was like my standing up for what was right to not watch any of those movies. Oh, damn. I saw like five of them. So you're a piece of shit to his family and his memory. Okay. Those movies made billions of dollars. Yeah, obviously. I mean, I think they have jumped the shark at this point in time, to my understanding where it's like Ludacris is driving a car in space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, how do we get this Pontiac GT? Is that a good car? That's a piece of shit.
19:41That's an old, I don't think Pontiac even exists anymore. I don't know. It's like, we gotta drive it to the boat. Dodge Charger. You know? Gotta land it. It's a space car. We're gonna drive this Dodge Charger into a rocket and it's gonna attach with the rubble. That's my Vin Diesel. That was Sylvester Stallone, I think. That is also him, too. I feel like, yeah, that was... That also sounded like you, but mid-burp.
20:10That's my Sylvester Stallone. Oh. Yeah. Do an impression of anyone. Don't sit there and just be critical of mine. I can't. I don't. I don't. I haven't even... Oh, no. You're... You get him. No, you get him now. You could do Godfrey. Pretty good. Who? Gilbert Gottfried. Yeah, that clip of that. You could do Godfrey pretty good. Oh. What do I say? You don't remember? Yeah, I do. But I can't... Something wrong with... Is something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is he? I need a line. Line! He's got no lines. Oh, I thought you were gonna... You're the fucking computer guy! What does that just make something...
20:42Look up, famous Gilbert Gottfried lines! No, it's fine. Don't worry. Although he had some... Never mind, I'm gonna do that. There's some shit. You know what we do have? We have some sponsors for today. Sponsors for today! Sponsors! Okay. Not bad. The first one... The first one that we have here is... Read the whole ad as Gilbert Gottfried. Don't do that. I'm not going to do that. Don't do that, please. Squarespace, though. Make it a website! A space that's square! Squarespace. It is a website where you can build your website. So if you make content or you have some sort of e-commerce business or something like that, you can get started on Squarespace.
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21:57we've used them so many times before in the past, and we still continue to use Squarespace for stuff. So right now, you can head to squarespace.com slash basement, and you will save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement. Okay, again, that is squarespace.com slash basement. And you will get 10 % off your first purchase of a website or a domain when you use that code basement. All right. And we also have this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. They're the biggest therapy platform in the world. They have over 30 ,000 licensed therapists.
22:31Like I said, it's the world's largest online therapy platform. Average rating of 4.99 out of 5 stars. I think that everyone should be in therapy. I, myself, have been in therapy for a long time now. I don't even know how long. And I think it's lovely. I do it every week. It's amazing. And you don't need to do it every week. You can kind of do it biweekly or sporadically whenever you feel like you do. but I do think it's beneficial to everyone, not just people who are going through some traumatic thing or whatever. It's like going to the gym for your mind. But if you want to get started with therapy, you can do so, and you can save some money.
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26:33I didn't say anything about your cameo. Way to plug it, you plug her. That feels like a slur. Definitely. That was a slur. That was a slur. A hard R after two. That was crazy. Can we call someone? Josh, leave that in. Leave it in. Destroy him. Get someone else in here. Wait up. Get someone else in here. Yeah, no, that was crazy. A hard R right there is wild. What were we talking about? Oh, how long can I talk? You know what's funny? If that was me, I'd be like, guys, seriously, shouldn't we take that out? and you both be like no you're fine um um how long can you talk filibuster style until you have fully filled your bust those are two separate questions um i think like if i'm going for it it's like i have to i'm trying to go for as long as i possibly can yeah and what's a what constitutes as like a break like can i stop and like think what i'm gonna say if you stop for more than 10 seconds no if you stop for more than let's go five seconds that's a break that what are the rules can you do me a favor look up because there are actual rules to how long is there yeah a filibuster is a real thing yeah they just read dr seuss sometimes what yeah they just read dr seuss or books up there just to buy time did you ever see um the what's it called the the parks and rec hold on i i'm gonna need um an explanation so in the united states i don't know if it's congress or the senate or what have you if they want to basically prolong a vote they will do something called a filibuster where they will not relinquish their time and they'll literally stop they'll talk unbroken until people finally give it and are basically like fucking whatever let's just table the whole conversation to another time because they don't want it to be like the vote's going to go against them i think didn't cory booker just do like a legendary one uh i'll look that up but just further explanation it's because um the senate allows for an unlimited debate like there's no cap right so people just go up there to extend the voting like you said by just reading books or just talking forever what a stupid and childish thing yes yes i mean you're now we're talking american politics that's a whole other thing but yeah no it is ridiculous so it's like well then i'll just annoy you that's literally like okay well being a little little little i guess we'll just talk forever catty little bitch wow a catty dumbest thing ever um not very long what's long like i could probably do like 40 minutes that's i mean that is long i've done it before like i mean we are in a world where we do podcasting so especially if i can like prepare stuff that i can i can go way longer than 40 minutes i don't think preparing i think the whole point of it is that it's not prepped i think the idea is that like they're just going and going and going and going it needs i imagine there needs to be here some form of coherence like you can't just be up there and just be like right i think that if like i could think about it for a little bit before then i could probably do it because i used to do podcasts by myself and those were like 35 40 minutes i did i remember one time i did a podcast by myself and i had you help me like edit it yeah and we were both like that was nonsensical like it was just like it was about a thing yeah like it was just like it got to a point where like you just go down tangents and paths and you lose it which is ironic because that's kind of what we do now right but at the time i was just like that wasn't good um booker's speech the longest filibuster was 25 hours and five minutes he talked for that long yeah of 200 plus pages of prepared material nope i lied 1164 pages of prepared material but 200 stories about stuff it was just like long fun fact could you talk no shot for 25 hours no way i don't care about anything that much i mean that's not true you You care about your family.
30:36You care about your job. To a degree. I think 25 hours is crazy. Yeah, I don't even know how that's possible. I mean, you just talk at points. It just goes off on tangents. Like you'll start talking about politics and you'll be in there about like Smokey the Bear or something. But physically, I don't even know how that's possible. Because sometimes we come in here and we have to record two episodes. And then we record videos. And by the time I get home, my voice is like hoarse. Course? Horse? Horse. Horse. Yeah, you got a horse in your throat. What's course? Course is like when something is like...
31:12Fine. No, that's more when it's more like... Oh, course is the opposite of fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Horse. Sand. Right. It's coarse. It gets everywhere. Yeah. If you could tell me where that's from, I will give you... Say it how the character says it. Exactly. Give them the location. No, not the location. I hate sand. It's dry. I'm butchering it here to some degree. I hate sand. It's dry. It's coarse and it gets everywhere. That sounds so familiar It is quite I know it's from something you have seen. You've definitely animated. Nope. Look me in the face Okay, I hate sand. It's coarse. It's sandy and it gets something it's coarse and it gets everywhere It's popular as being a bad line in this movie and in an arguably bad movie But people have since come around and so like no, it's actually really good.
32:01Is it? uh the uh fucking movie where the guy's like i cannot the room yeah no that that has some bad line delivery though okay what is it you're my favorite customer hello puppy uh star wars episode two attack of the clones i would have never gotten that really that's why i was astonished and i would have offered you a lot at all um but so you what's the longest you think because you did the the the modern wisdom i did you guys talked for a while we did talk we talked for two hours and 45 minutes and i talked a lot there and then after that i was so uh tired me and greg went to like a nice dinner and the the waitress was like trying to be nice and she was like oh so you guys like into like are you guys from around here like oh no we're from new york and like oh you're in town like doing like uh going to any comedy shows because I guess like the comedy scene there is like why everyone's there.
33:01And I was like, I didn't say this, but in my head I'm like, just the bread. Just the bread. Because I was so tired. What about you? What's the longest you think you've like done podcasting? I think I could go. I could go for a while. You could play Mario Kart for a week long. The fuck? The subathons. Yeah, but a lot of it's this. I'm going to beat you, bitch. Yeah, at night when like everything's winding down, we have like slumber parties and like - Yeah, you guys sleep on stream? No, they're like usually - Now who's the plugger? I didn't say the name. Couple hard-hards. Hit him with something.
33:35No, hang up. Get that one out. We need him. Hang up. You need me? Thank you. So like, I could go for hours. What the hell? Wow. I didn't plug anything. I think - Because I've done a 24-hour stream, and I talked. Oh, my God. I've done two 24-hour streams, and I talked, brother. I'm sure there were parts where I was just like... But for the most part, I remained animated. Bro, a 24-hour stream with you now would be bonkers. It's actually easier because you usually have people bringing stuff up and talking to you. Well, yeah, you talk to the chat. And like, honestly, at times, like the times where I thought it was going to be the hardest is when the most activity was happening.
34:19Like 4 a.m. Like there was like a thousand people in there or something. Really? I think I peaked at like 1 ,100 people. Well, I guess at that time, it's like if you're up, there's like only a few things you can do. I also had a lot of tea. Like I remember like. Just ripping pisses. I mean, there was a like those mornings I was like, I took like bathroom breaks and stuff like that. because you have to. There's physically no way. Yeah, yeah, you gotta crap and peep. You gotta peep, peep. Yeah. But yeah, man, oh my God, I guess I haven't realized that. What does that feel like? When you're at hour 24 and you're ending, are you like?
34:56Well, I did it straight 24 hours. The way that you guys do it is crazy where it's just like every donation will do an extra 10 minutes and then people are sending donations so it lasts a week long. 13 days was the last one. That is sickening. And didn't you say that it had to end? because you guys had a wedding yeah but they decided to gather together and go we're gonna make them miss the wedding so we had to we had to stop it i love that yeah i love that it was i remember very clearly i did it to like pay back the money that was fronted for me to get the equipment and i said like if we get to that financial goal then i'll do a 24-hour stream the first i really believe i broke it up into my feeling was like eight hours those first eight hours i was just like gung-ho so about it i was fun i was happy i was playing video games those middle eight hours it was like holy shit and then those last eight hours it was like it kind of worked back toward it and then because you're like getting used to like yo it's almost over and then i i remember i don't know if it was the first one or the second one but But the Yankees were playing in game one of the ALCS against the Astros.
36:08So, like, I, like, went out. After we finished, I, like, had champagne, and I started drinking. After being awake for 24 hours? Yeah, I started drinking, and Becca found me, like, passed out. But, like, not the passed out, like, I remember falling asleep. Like, I was, like, watching, and then I remember her waking me up. Right. Because you're probably so tired. i i'll have to find it i had taken a picture of my eyes why because you were all fucked up oh dude there's nothing worse than that i mean even in la like i had when we were just in la i had trouble sleeping there because like the time difference i guess and like i always get up at the same time so out there i'm three hours early so i'm like wired at like 5 a.m or 4 a.m and then it's just like the effect that not sleeping has on you is like insane because i i usually get you know seven and a half hours at least i know it's probably not a great thing but i'm i operate really well off like five and a half to six hours i used to rip four hours when i was younger all the time and be chilling beginning of the year when i was like pretty aggressively like going to the gym and stuff i was going to sleep at 11 10 30 11 and i was waking up at 4 yeah you know which is like i i think is not good i mean you probably like i do appreciate how like that puts you down earlier yes but dude when i was younger though dude and just like we would be up all night playing xbox i would be up till like 3 a.m go to school same shit every dude i used we used to stay up till like four or five and i remember in college very specifically having an 8 a.m class and being like sun's up this is crazy bro it was so good or sometimes i'd be like like i think maybe that's why i'm such a good sleeper because when i was younger i would be in me and keith shared a room and like i would go to sleep and keith would be up telling people to suck his dick on halo so i like slept through that boy was he yeah he was going crazy my mom sometimes would come in there that was my favorite when my when it woke my mom up which i don't know how it didn't every fucking night because he was bad about something yo my mom used to come in there and lose it it was it was hysterical because you would just hear keith oh motherfucker yeah he said shit and then you would hear your mom because it was before like it was before the technology where it was like you really only heard the person speaking into the mic you could hear the whole room you could hear the whole house and i remember hearing your mom coming down the stairs like are you fucking kidding me bro he used to do this in our room was next to my mom's room yeah and then sometimes she would come in and she would be because there's other people sleeping are you crazy and i'm laying a bit like he is crazy yeah yo he got he got after with some of that shit but like all of us were at some point and then also like we would be in a party chat to like fuck with the other person we would just kick them so like they're in the middle of like a death match or slayer and then like they have to like stop what they're doing to rejoin and then they die and stuff like that do you know what like it blew my mind that that was like a universal thing that happened on xbox like because i would see memes of it and people would be like what's the shape of italy like i didn't know other people did that to their friends let me ask you a question does that make it more special for you were less special i think more it's like you you participated in something that like was just the like cultural norm but i was gonna say like didn't it feel more special when you would talk with your friends about it and be like yo me and my friends do this shit and it's crazy it's hysterical and you felt like it was yours may i don't i mean maybe i don't know i kind of go back and forth with that type of thing because i do have well i think i've said this on an episode before where like with covid as horrible it was it was horrible i thought that there was something interesting about like everyone's going through this at the same time on the whole planet so so like it is kind of cool when you find out that like oh the thing that we like you know like little things like i used to say ollie ollie oxen free then you think that's the only thing that you and your friends know but it becomes a thing that in other countries they even know and it's like oh wow what yeah so i guess i know we were just talking about getting your dick and balls dragged by water uh but definitely something that's a shared experience yeah but like at what point does an experience lose its luster by how shared it is like for me i'm thinking in terms of like what you're saying like the whole xbox because it has now become a thing like the like the world is like genuinely obsessed with nostalgia i mean jesus if you go on tiktok There's so much of just like, you know, like Xbox parties and old snacks and games like that.
40:59And, you know, that cuts me at my core. Do you see the videos where they're like AI videos of like, here's Christmas in 1994? Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, that must fuck you up. But I've seen them, but you know how I am with AI? I swipe the fuck away from them. Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement.
41:33It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom to Be. Use as directed. I'm like, oh, I'm not supporting this bullshit. I'll be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I watch it and I'm like, like there was one with a woman like pushing a cart in Blockbuster and I'm like, and it just like unlocks like thoughts that you haven't had in so long. And I'm like, oh my God. It's weird because I remember as a kid having the difficulty explaining what are now considered shared experiences. and in a way it like it both like calcifies how special it was to me but also like i don't want to hear about anyone else experiencing it like i want it to remain my thing but it is also cool that it was something that other people engaged in it's a weird there's a really fine line to ride there bro there was nothing better than that like being like 16 and just it was like you were with your friends all day and like especially in the summer and then you would get home and it's like i am literally on xbox until 4 a.m every night and like there was a sense of like it was the like even the internet back then was not the internet that it was now i feel like the internet now is more of a representation of like xbox game chats than they were what the internet was then like yeah no one is going on the internet to play flash games anymore like they're they want that Damn.
43:02Mini Clip? Fucking New Grounds. You remember New Grounds? What was the one that had? Candy Stand. Bro, Candy Stand had a golf game, like a mini golf game. Like you pulled it back for the power and shit like that. But it was like candy on each level. Bro, I fucking loved that game. I used to play it in school all the time. Addictinggames.com. That one. That one was a good one. There was a bunch on there. But I also was going to Cartoon Network, and I was like playing the like Dexter's Laboratory mazes and shit like that. Didn't even know that was a thing. Oh, I do know what you're talking about.
43:38Dude, there was some fucking Nickelodeon and Disney and Cartoon Network had the best Flash games in the world. Flash games, dude. But like no one goes online. I guess they do it on their phone, but like phone games are such bullshit. It's so different. It's so bullshit. It doesn't hit like a fucking fat-ass computer just fucking click-clacking. And like, you know, like the game where it's like you have to like judge how far to shoot an arrow at another stick figure. I love that. Like now it's like, oh, Marvel Contest of Champions, which is cool and I love and I play. Awful. But like, it's overproduced.
44:20Like when you get a lot of hands, when there's money in it, more hands get on top of it. It's like, fuck you. Yeah, I just want to pull back this thing and shoot an arrow into a stick figure's head and watch him bleed out on the ground. Yes, dude. And he would bleed out. And then like, or I want to do the one where I put just fucking sandwiches on this Kim Possible, Rufus the Rat fucking, you know, taco. Put ingredients on this taco and Rufus could go send it out. Yeah, stuff like that. I don't mean to rain on any parade here. You guys sound a little boomery. If anything, by definition, it's not boomery.
44:54The point is like the mentality of like, oh, it was better back when. I mean, I don't know if I don't want to sit there and say better. You don't get it because you don't like anything. Don't do that. You don't like it. Don't do that. That is so true. You're afraid to like stuff. I like. I like. You don't like anything. Your fandom goes as far as can you watch it. That's it. I like. If I could watch it, I'm going to like it. Okay. That's not all the way true. You don't like anything. Well, what does that have to do with? You don't like anything that you can't. I don't know. I acknowledge how that can come off sounding boomery.
45:28I'm not going to be one of those people that's like, everything was better back then. Because there was a lot of blind spots that our society had and things that were exploited and the way that people were treated. Gay marriage wasn't legal in our lifetime. That's fucking hilarious. Dude. Yes. Hilarious is the wrong word. I mean, it's insane to think about. We know what you're saying. In our lifetime. Take that out, Bob. In our lifetime. That was a thing, bro. But like, I'm not sitting there saying because there are a lot of things that we could be critical about and are legitimately better now.
45:59But like in the ways in which people like enjoyed themselves, like the simplicity had a lot more enjoyment in it. Where now everything is monetized. And like, yes, we are kind of part of that problem, I guess, in a sense. But like there was a lot more of a feeling of like it just was less evil back then. There was more community. I would say. Do you agree? I feel like there's more community now. Really? But the irony is that in the accessibility to that community, there is less. What scale are we talking? Because Frankie's skating around a grand scale. And I'm talking about like there's also more opportunities for many communities everywhere now on the internet.
46:44I agree. Yes. In that way. I meant like, you know, there's a lot of people, especially the young generation, that like don't socialize in the way that we were forced to when we were younger. That's fair. But there's also more people that do, too. You know, there's two sides. I think that there is definitely more accessibility to those forms of socialization. but with that accessibility and the need to place an identity in those groups there just naturally becomes more separation like like like for instance star wars has always been a thing but now star wars and its fandom is more divided than it has ever been and that's because
47:29it just sounds so traumatic but like i mean bro there there people have been bullied out of the dude that played young Anakin Skywalker, Jake Lloyd, like, his life was fucking ruined because of the division of Star Wars fans. Like, the little kid? What, they don't fuck with him? Bro, he, like, went and had, like, severe mental health issues as a result of the online bullying. The kid was, like, eight years old. That is so fucking crazy. So, Kelly Marie Tran was, like, in the most recent Star Wars trilogy, she was basically bullied into, like... Bro, can I just say, also, people who get on the internet and say random things to celebrities, because they're like, they'll never read it.
48:04bro they're gonna see it especially if a lot of you are saying that and it's a psychotic thing to do in my opinion yeah and also people be like this is the job you signed up for oh what no it isn't you you sign up for eyes on you you don't sign up for the pieces of shit that just feel like now because you're in that position they could say whatever they want i don't know it's like you're especially people that are like in it for like i you know people who want to be actors or something It's like I enjoy this art form and I was always into theater and stuff. And then it starts working out and it's supposed to be a great thing.
48:39But then, you know, the necessary evil that we're choosing to accept exists is like, well, you signed up for the fact that everyone's going to, you know, paparazzi is going to take pictures of you when you look the worst. And, you know, you don't get to be insecure and cry about that. And it doesn't matter or whatever. Like you signed up for it. It's like, well, I just really enjoyed acting. And now you're taking pictures of me and I'm completely insecure about myself. yeah so thanks or they or they zoom in a thousand time lens on a on your wiener while you're on a boat yo that honestly they did that to beber that's a beber yeah years ago they were like on a boat and they like zoomed in crazy and like got a picture of him with his like dick out and then he talked about on ellen which is bananas by the way also i mean there's a lot of those ellen clips that the writing was on the wall she was not very nice you know there's a lot of shit like that but You can tell by the eyes.
49:31But, yo, I'm not kidding. Something like that happening to me would, I mean. It's just your penis. Yeah, but I would end up in jail. Ah, I see. I wouldn't do anything, but I would definitely make phone calls. To what? What is that? I want the person who took that picture to get their fucking ass whooped. Got it. Like, what is wrong with you? Like, that's psychotic. And also the people who buy it are like, yes, you're nuts. You're crazy. These are peeps. These are peeps. These are human peeps. Also, you know, unwanted taking pictures of a peeps. It's crazy. Yeah. I didn't know. The story of when he's older, the full story of looking at his life through a benefit of hindsight lens is going to be insane because there is so much.
50:20That is the first and most intense example of that parasocial relationship that the world has had with a celebrity that's not even in our lifetime that's not even that bad probably um like the the that one spot his documentary is gonna be great bro he's a legend i fuck with the beeps hard we also fuck with
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53:33Keith loves them like crazy. So go check them out. But you can go to cachava.com and use the code BASEMENT for 15 % off your first order. okay that is spelled k-a-c-h-a-v-a dot com slash basement save 15 off of your first order enjoy that get the chocolate trust me try um also i wanted to talk about this frank you brought this up but you said that scientists turned turned yeast from the stomach of an old mummy into bread yeah so they went into like a 5 000 it was like 5 400 year old mummy they took Like yeast? The yeast is in the stomach after that long? What is yeast? It might have been the crumpel.
54:15Is that the asshole? No. Pussy. There's no yeast in a bun. In a pussy? Why am I saying that? Vagina? You're not pussy. Yeah, I'm saying it like, why am I doing porn right now? This is tough. Yeah, they took it and they made... You know what's funny is the article I read was like, they made good bread. And it was like, they specified good. Not like... Yeah, not like... Whoa, dude. How is it? Good. Dude, is that a violation? Of the mummy? Yeah. Of the mummy, dude. It's my yeast. That's your shit. Yeah. Like, don't fucking take your... Do we have yeast? I hope. Or is that just... I don't think a boy's got yeast.
54:53I think it's just for... What do we have, then? Butts. Yeah. And piss. No. I don't think... Yep. Men have yeast? You can't. Where's our yeast? Where's our shit at? You can get yeast infections. No, we can't. I know men can get yeast infections. I've never gotten one. We know someone that has gotten a yeast infection. What? The head of the penis. The head of the penis has got yeast? What? The head of the penis has the yeast? It can. No, men can get yeast infections. Belantis. What's that? Who is that? What it's called? Belantis. Belantis? Honestly, that sounds like a crazy city. Like, awesome, like, it's been gone for years, but welcome back to Belantis.
55:32So wait, I have a city of yeast on the tip of my wiener. I don't know if you have right now. I haven't seen, but you can. Oh, it's bad if I have it. Yes, a yeast infection is not good. No, but do you just have it? I don't think guys have it. I think women... It can form. It can form, and that's not good. But I think there is a natural yeast. Because girls don't just have it either. They don't have a yeast? No, it's bacteria that they get after. I thought women have yeast just chilling in them. I think they got that shit locked, loaded, ready in the chamber. Just in case. Yeah, I think they have like good yeast because like remember there was years ago There was like some streamer that made like beer with her yeast.
56:11Oh amaranth. She does everything. Yeah, you're right Wait, why do you know exactly who it is? It didn't taste that great. Uh, can did a Hold up You had yeast beer? No, I'm kidding. Well, I'll be right I mean yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a joke. It's a joke. Yeah Yeah, we'll see. Oh, yeah. Whoa. Oh, ah 6%. Women naturally have yeast. It's called candida. Canada? Canada? Canada? They got fucking Canada shit, dude. Canadian yeast. Oh, Canada. Your fucking shit is yeasty. Yeasty in your... Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan.
56:55It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom the B. Use as directed. Clam. That was pretty good. Honestly, that was... I didn't like that. You didn't like clam? No, it was good phonetically, but physically it hurt. Okay. There was like, what movie was it where they referred to a vagina as a clam?
57:32And I was just like, oh. I don't like when dudes say shit like that. Yeah, they'll be like, oh, the clam box. There's like three words I'll accept. Outside of that, I'm not into it. Oh, yeah. We have Canada too. We do. We have Canada? Yeah, we do. Where is it? Where's our naturally occurring? It just says on the skin and in their body. I've got Canada on me? So like you could take scrapes of your skin and you could make sourdough bread? It seems more penile. PP? Yeah. So dip your dick in, like, bread. Dough. Right. And you might fucking go nuts on some bread. You know that people would buy your dick bread.
58:10I would try it. You'd try your own dick bread? Is that, what, is that gay or something? I mean, it's right there. You're eating your dick. You're knocking on the door, brother. I mean, I had a dream about eating my penis. Remember that? That's right. You were chewing on it like a chicken wing. Yo, I... Crazy that you went chicken wing and you didn't go like footlong hero or something. Bro, not only was I chewing on my penis in my dream like a chicken wing, but it was the most tender meat. Yeah, you have often spoken about. It was just like falling off the bone. I gotta be honest. You speak about, you spoke about this and are bringing it up again to the point where like you seem like you kind of wish you could try it.
58:46Like you want a slow roasted smoked dick. No, I do not. I do not want a slow roasted smoked dick. I can imagine. I mean, you're now getting crazy with all the adjectives, with the cooking adjectives. So I know you're sitting there and you're talking about the how tender and juicy. I said my first of all, I said my own was tender in my dream. You're over there like, oh, I would throw it on the Blackstone. I never said that. I never said I was doing that. I never in any point in time said that. You tell me a guy Fieri made a penis for you and ate it. No, I don't know. No, no. Diners, drive-ins and dicks.
59:27Oh, slap some of this gangster sauce on this cock and it's fucking delicious sauce bombs.
59:36Oh, man, this cock is donkey. Oh, my God, this fucking dick is gangster, brother. You got to eat some of it. Today we're in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and we stopped at Rudy's to get some stick. We're in Louisiana, home of the smoked cock. And today, we're in Jacksonville, Florida, and we're trying to get our hands on some big balls and dicks.
1:00:06Oh my god. All right. I'm here with Chef Roman. Chef, tell me how you absolutely just pulverized this beef into mouth-watering, tender-y goodness.
1:00:23A breaded dick. He's got two rings on each finger. Let me taste that. That's gangster. It's savory, it's sweet, and it's dick for sure. Welcome to Guy Fieri's Dumpster Restaurant. Today, we're putting cocks in a garbage can over nachos. Yo, let me tell you something. If there's another level of demonetization, we have just discovered it. I don't you we might owe them money Who's the CEO YouTube he's just gonna hit us up be like guys come on What was his name? We looked him up. Yeah, Paul Neil right? Neil, Neil, Neil. We're pretty good fun. Come on, Neil. This is all good fun, dude. Yeah. Oh, man Welcome to Triple G.
1:01:16You can only shop in the aisles that have cocks We got no chance We've enlisted the best chefs James Beard Award winning chefs To cook penis These chefs are gonna work for 24 hours Every hour one is gonna get eliminated But every hour We're as judges are gonna eat dick And every dollar that we win Is gonna be a proceed to feeding people In America Chef you have three Michelin stars What does it feel like to be in the triple G house cooking this penis. How did this happen? Gordon Ramsay goes to a restaurant and he's like, this is fucking awful. This cock tastes like dick.
1:02:07Yo. We just did 10 minutes on dick. I don't even know what to do. My work. Yo, what an episode. I don't know. Oh, I'd hate to see the thumbnail that's made for this one. I mean, you know, we've... I think I'm just... Yeah. All right, all right. I can't wait to see what his notes say right now. Yeah, those notes are going to be crazy. Oh, God. So, what were we even talking about? The mummy, mummified wiener. The mummified shit. I would do that. They said they were going to make... They said they made bread, but they also would make beer. I would drink a mummy's dick beer. I mean, you drank a beer that was made with bear shit.
1:02:41That's true, and it tastes like beer. And it tastes just like beer. Yeah. So, like, there's nothing stopping you. yeah like a mummy's so be honest all right here we are i know that like beer gets very hot when they're making it when they're making it like oh i don't even know that if they sold like how they did with like sydney sweeney's bathwater yeah but it was just like oh we just had a guy swim naked in here for an hour and then we bottled it and it's it's we're calling it a ball beer who's the guy that's a that makes a difference um you're saying some guy so i don't know jalen brunson um what are you talking about i'm emptying the fucking keg yeah if it's jalen brunson if it's anyone on the knicks right now okay um uh brian cranston yeah will smith yeah a lesson to the asset yes i need to find someone that would be like wait a sec
1:03:49Hitler What are we We can't I didn't think That It could get worse I didn't think And now I was just trying to think of the worst person I could think of Which apparently according to some places in America That's not the worst Yeah Oh god You would So I'm pretty sure we said COVID at some point too in here Well now we definitely did You just hammered it Now we definitely did Let's throw out a vaccine while we're at it. All the words. Neil, how about that? Stick it up to the man. That's for you, Neil. Oh, man. Jokes aside. Yep. Jokes aside. I would drink the beer. If I swam in a vat of beer and sold it just for...
1:04:30Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would try it. I would try it. You would? Yeah. Interesting. Because if it was bad, then I would be like, bro, your beer sucks. Yeah. Your ball beer sucks. um the bread i guess is tougher i feel like you'd be able to like taste more of the balls and the yeah because i think at a certain point any of the like human taste would just go away in the fermentation process of the alcohol yeah yeah yeah which which you know once you butter the bread some buttery balls i guess but like how are they able to extract yeast out of someone who's been dead for that long well bro yeast exists bro we know this now because becca's been crushing sourdough those starters like you can dry them out and put them like literally you dry out a sourdough starter and like it will stay good forever this was also a frozen mummy does that matter yeah because i think it preserves bacteria yeah Yeah, but even in the freezer, things have a shelf life.
1:05:31Like, it's not like they're good forever frozen. I never really thought about that. Sublimination? Sublimation? I forgot the exact term, but, like, it's the process of going from solid to gaseous. So, like, have you ever, like, had a freezer and you left, like, an ice cube in the freezer and eventually, like, it doesn't melt, but the ice cube shrinks? I guess. It's the process of going from a frozen, like a solid to a gash. A gaseous state. And what makes, what's the catalyst there? Is it just time? I don't know. That's a great question. Look up the science behind sublimination. I'm already on it.
1:06:07Yeah? I don't know. Gotcha. Okay. We're trying to save this goddamn episode. Save it from what? This is one of the best episodes we've done in the past. I mean like, we're trying to balance off the science. A good example is like dry ice, you know? Yeah, but that's not... Dry ice is a different chemical, brother. That's not what it's... Frozen carbon... That's not what it's telling me here. Do you guys like dry ice? Like, if you're at a cocktail bar and they bring some shit out, that's smoking. You fuck with that? Hell, brother, yes. I think that all drinks should be served smoked. Not smoked, but like smoking.
1:06:45Like with like fog about. I went to this bar, this like cocktail bar. and i actually went to a restaurant and then the owner was like oh hey and then it was like we opened a cocktail bar downstairs if you want to try it out i was like sure so i went um and all the drinks like you order a drink and they put it in like a tray like the two cups and then they fill the tray with like the smoke and shit so they put it in front it's like there's smoke everywhere what was that one place that was huge for a while where they had like candy drinks or There were sugar drinks. Was it called sugar bar? Oh, um.
1:07:23You know what I'm talking about, right? Sugar freak? Sugar freak? Sugar fuck? Sugar balls? Sugar... I don't know. Sugar... Sugar gag. Yeah, it's not that. But, like, and it came with, like, a bubble, and, like, in the bubble was dry ice, and then they'd pop it, and it would, like... Yeah, yeah. You know, like, it was the fucking Undertaker. I kind of fuck with desserts when they have, like, a presentation like that, where it's like, oh, we take this, and we go like that. The only one that I've never gotten, because I'm not a big fan of... of cooked fruit is like bananas foster what's that it's where the bananas come on fire or like baked alaska i've never gotten that one either but that one they they light that shit ablaze bitch what's that i i think it's like there's like a cream and they light it up they just light cream on we went to that place that steakhouse in austin they do the fire steak remember the salt comes on fire yeah that shit was sick i kind of like when they do that type of shit too where they like pour fire on shit and i'm like this is dope yeah i almost bought a kitchen torch the other day what do you need that for there i'm not kidding you i would use it for nothing yeah but like i i was like this would be cool to have or like lighting a cigar that's what my dad does yeah my dad lights his cigars black and miles with a full-on plumber's torch right oh yeah and it's like got the tank it's got the giant tank and literally he'll be like i'm gonna light a cigar and i'm like so overkill dad also dange could be dange i mean here i i've been plumber 35 years i don't care i've been plumber that's what his fucking defense would be too my friends have a couple of those torches i'm into it i like zippo lighters not for cooking dude zippos i'm a whore for zippos i don't like how the the the gas dries up i mean that's that's normal i mean i mean you just fill it with a liquid you could buy the liquid for like eight bucks yeah but then it dries like if you don't use all of it like it just goes away if it's in the tin it should stay good for a long long time but like the one that i bought it's like you you stuff it with like a it's like a cotton or something yeah and then you you pour the whatever in but like and then eventually if you don't use it it just like kind of evaporates dude i love it because like i feel like i'm gonna drop it on like a trail of gas and blow something up i would love to blow things up like that like just like so close and just like walk away in like a leather jacket it is really cool that in movies like that people walk away from the explosion because if i'm exploding something i'm looking i don't have it in me to like well those are those are well experienced exploders they must yeah they're like desensitized exploding all the time like of course like wolverine is walking away because like Like, no one gives a fuck.
1:10:16He's done so many explodings. Yeah. You know? Isn't it funny how Hollywood decided that, like, walking out of an exploded house is fire? Like, it is. It is also, like, the concussive blast of the explosion would fuck you up. Put you down. Because that's, like, that will get you. I don't like explosions, man. They're too loud. I don't like them. Have you ever seen an explosion, like, in Percy? um the only explosion that i've seen
1:10:48i'm not gonna make that joke don't don't don't we've already we're already there we're already in trouble no no but i i did see um remember when universal had that ride yeah like a stunt show and it was like water world no they would have like explosions but it was like hot Well, yeah, you didn't see it. You saw more of a like... Controlled explosion. Not even an explosion. It was just like a shooting of fire. Yeah. They explode some things. Some of the stunt shows. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I think you're... I don't know if I've ever seen like an actual explosion. I'm trying to think.
1:11:21I can't remember like if I have seen an explosion or not. What are we counting as explosion? Like boom. Like an explosion. What are we talking about here? We know an explosion. What an awesome name for it too. Explosion. Explosion. congrats to the word people it's almost like yo whoever yeah yeah you're right the latin people i don't i don't even know yeah where does the term explode come from it's probably like greek and it was like explubia explosion like if i'm i feel like you can meet like a baltic dude and that's like his name i feel like that's something your brother would name another child if they had another boy i love you tom we're thinking explosion yeah i mean honestly like peak need for speed underground to frankie might have named his child explosion it yeah if i had to live by the decisions that i was making at that age it would be a completely different world yeah your kids names would be explosion steve mcnair and fucking you know simple plan I'd have weird tattoos Or NBA Inside Drive Jesus What a game Anything on the origins of the word explosion Yeah there's a couple things Rome No way Italians It's a Explodere That's French Explodere How do you spell it Explodere Explodere Explodere.
1:12:56That's probably it. Because they love to do the essay quam vedere and shit like that. And it actually means to drive out by clapping or to clap someone off stage. Similar to the word applause, honestly. It's like clapping. Whoa. Applause explosion. Not close enough, honestly. What was that? I meant more the meaning, not the phonetics. So, like, when we were done at MSG, they exploded us off the stage. I think it's more negative, but technically you guys were exploded on the MSG stage. Damn. I mean, I was about to... I'm cool with that, honestly. Because I don't think I've ever exploded. I've exploded.
1:13:35Neil. He's still going, Neil. He's still going. Horns up. It's fine. Huh? What did you say? What? It's just a little... Horns up? That's fine. Is that like a Texas thing? I thought it was like a horny thing. Oh, it is a Texas thing. You're right. Horns up. Where are you, brother? A horn's up, it's fine. Where are you? Is that like a motto you live by? Sure. So, you want more? I feel like I gave a lot there. No, I'm more concerned with how horny you are during this recording. I'm not right now. You two seem way more horny than me. Yeah, I do. But I definitely don't. I definitely don't. Yeah, I mean, you got the fishnet shirt on, so you're pretty like...
1:14:17Oh, you're taking a page out of the Joe Sanagato book for shirts. I need way more nipples. Book for shirts. Way more nipples. Not me. I'm buttoned up. You're never catching me nipples out. Even when I have shirts that are more knitted. I mean, we've seen your nipples on the internet. You wore a tape suit. Taped up, brother. Yeah, but that was like... Damn, that was crazy that I did that. You remember how bad I broke out in a rash? Bro, yes. I remember that stuff coming off of you and it was insane. dude I broke out in a really bad rash right here because it like clogged my pores bro also if you want to humble yourself tape up your body a little bit and look at it in the mirror it's disgusting yo it was well hold on it literally is I was the one that got taped up you want to be humbled look at him this filthy pig no I've done it too though not taped fully up but I've had you yeah yeah and then when you get like tape on you and then you pull it off you're like yo why is this like cloudy I think, well, yeah, because it's pulling the natural oils off of your skin.
1:15:17Oh, all the Canada on me. All that Canada is filthy. Canada yeast. Great callback, dude. Absolutely great callback. It's all in here, baby. I think we should do another Patreon goal that Joe this time has to do the tape suit. First of all, we got to do our... Oh, yeah. Which is coming, we should probably say. You should probably say that. Next week. Oh, yeah. Next? Well, actually, no. Oh, shit, this is a week. If you're on Patreon and seeing it, it'll be this Friday. This has been so off the rails, I forget that this is a weekly episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we are doing it on Patreon. Double, what was it?
1:15:52Edward Fortyhands. Why did I, I was going to call it something. Well, you can also tell them that it's already up if they want to sign up for Patreon. Oh, you can. You're on the show too, so you just said it. Yeah. Why don't you fucking say it? It's just fucking. You're right. Go sign up. Yeah. It's on Patreon right now. I mean, I'm assuming that me and Frank are going to be like a little toasty that day for sure. Yeah. if all goes well it's up because you know we could run into some i'm figuring i don't know how like i know how i'm gonna get home because you're gonna send a car but like i'm going to have to bring bottles in the car with me for piss and like i'm not even kidding i'm worried gatorade about peeing yeah wouldn't you like think about it like this you like we might want to record that first and let that kind of be like set the tone and tenor for the rest of the day.
1:16:39That's scary. Why? Because then we're going drunk into a full episode. We could do Patreon. Do we have a Santa Gata Studios video to do that day? We always do. So then we could do that and then hopefully be sober up a little bit by the time the weekly rolls over. We can try it. We can try it. The old college try. We'll figure it out. Yeah. But listen, thank you guys so much for... Yo, what an episode. I'm not kidding. Oh, man. This one ain't gonna end up on an airplane. no no no no it won't yeah you guys gonna be like no you did 10 minutes about cooking cock i can't wait to see that on the internet um but yeah thank you guys so much frank we're gonna find the frank alvarez all over the place uh go check out patreon.com slash the basement yard again if you're seeing this on patreon this week june 17th at 12 p.m eastern the shows pre-sale code for the shows pre-sale of sorry All right, presale availability for the shows.
1:17:38Find it at thebasemanyard.com, and the presale code is BASEMENT. Very easy to remember. It's literally our name. Go check it out. Ant. You can find me at antprisco on Instagram. And you guys go follow me at Joe Sanagato. Go follow the show at thebasemanyard on TikTok and Instagram, and that is all. See you guys next time. Bye.
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