#561 - Born In The Food Court

8:23Joe Santagato:Like, you've seen them. Like, they're winning games. And he's like, yo, this fucking team. That's how my mom is, bro. My mom with the Yankees. Yo, the Yankees can be up by 12, but Judge will strike out. This motherfucker. Yeah. Piece of the shit. That's it. They're going to lose. Here it goes. Here come all the home runs. Yeah. That's exactly how she is. Josh will, without exaggeration, put you in a leg lock of some sort.

8:45Frank Alvarez:Yeah. But the Knicks did win. They did. And it was amazing. And I was home at the time watching the game. And I just – the game ended. And I just put my TV on mute and I opened up my window. And I could hear the entire city. I was getting – I've spoken about this a couple times.

9:04Joe Santagato:Fireworks everywhere also. I've spoken about this a couple times. I was getting emotional seeing the reaction of the fans of the Knicks. Because there are fans that legitimately have been fans their entire lives. Like, my mom, as an example. My mom's been a fan since she was 10. Yeah. And, like, for them, it's a big thing. And then I'm seeing, like, the camaraderie. And, like, it is true. Like, you look into the crowds of people. And, yes, they're rowdy. No one is saying that. And no one is saying that that is right either. there the people that got like hurt and lit stuff on fire crazy when be getting hit with an egg also disrespectful but but seeing like people of different race ethnicities sexual orientation all like in the streets flooding and celebrating together i got emotional seeing that it was

9:51Frank Alvarez:beautiful you know this is funny people uh black white gay even no it was it was uh no it was awesome dude i love shit like that like it was really cool to see all the videos and whatnot my whole algorithm is still just nick celebration completely just nick shit just all of it and it's like uh interview with they had like the starting five they were even on like good morning america or something like that and og is just you could tell he's fried yes like he asked the question

10:22Joe Santagato:he just didn't move i saw the exact same video he's he's i mean unbelievable serious from everybody If it wasn't, if JB wasn't getting the MVP, it was going OG. 100%. Yeah.

10:33Frank Alvarez:He went crazy. He had 45 in the fucking closeout game. Yeah. I gave it to him. But, you know, because of that. But did you go out and celebrate at all? No, I didn't. Because I wasn't feeling well. So I just, like, stayed home, watched the game. But I was thinking about this, like, I could have gone out, but I was not really in the mood to do that. Because, again, I wasn't feeling well. but I I had like a really good experience with it like I was home by myself and I watched the game and like I said when I opened up the window because I watched the game and I had like tears in my eyes when they won and I'm like I can't I literally can't believe what I'm watching right now and I was still nervous like there's a game coming you know like because we were winning games and that was exciting but I was just like yo it's over like they they actually won like they actually fucking did it like yeah it's over it's done and so I was like emotional about that but then and And then I heard Kat talk about his mom.

11:23Frank Alvarez:And I was like, yeah, that was a good one. So I was just like, fuck. So then I put it on mute because fireworks started shooting right outside of my building. So I opened the window and then you could just hear people like, I feel like I could hear Manhattan.

11:35Joe Santagato:It's funny because I know I couldn't hear them. Well, sound travels weird on water. I remember that from my old apartment. Like you can hear in my room people talking like eight houses down like you were standing next to them. Yeah. But like I felt like I was going to sleep. First of all, I was too excited to go to sleep. So I was just scrolling and I was up all night for a little bit. But I even from where I was, I know I couldn't hear people. But like I felt like I heard people. I felt the energy. I felt the energy of the city reverberating through the suburbs.

12:08Frank Alvarez:You know, bro. Speaking of like I was like, well, that night I didn't sleep at all. So the next day I went to sleep and I was like dying. and I sleep with this this app that records me the only reason why I have this just because I don't care about that part it's just part of the app the alarm is like it's soothing so that it's not like this which I like because it helps me like wake

12:35Joe Santagato:up slowly oh so you wake up like fucking snow white like opening the old German windows and like there's birds and shit legitimately yes that's how I wake up like it's like

12:47Frank Alvarez:like that so it's it's uh they do it you can either set it to a time and it will wake you up at that time or you can give it a 15 minute window and if in if at any point during the 15 minute window you like roll over or whatever you're you're slightly more awake then it'll do

13:03Joe Santagato:it then it's on your phone or a watch my phone how does it know if you're rolling over you keep

13:08Frank Alvarez:your phone in your pocket it records you it can listen it no it's like right on my nightstand That's not fucking spooky. What do you mean? That's not spooky? That it's listening to me? Yeah, dude. What am I saying? I don't know, but like. Well, this is my point. I was saying stuff, so I called. Well, there you go. So like, yeah. I mean, I don't care. First of all, if I'm talking in my sleep, I want to hear what I'm saying.

13:28Joe Santagato:What if like in your sleep, you're just like a super racist? Yep. I wouldn't start the story.

13:35Frank Alvarez:Yeah. If I'm just ripping slurs in my sleep.

13:38Joe Santagato:In your sleep, you're just like fucking Hispanics. Yeah. Yeah.

13:42Frank Alvarez:First of all, I was nervous for some reason. We're going to say a real slur. Me too. Really? I was like, come on. Well, because you do it so often. You just set it up. Nice try. Nice try. Yeah, you let it fly all the time. Yeah, oh yeah. This was me in the middle of the night. This was 3.14 a.m. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.

14:06Why?

14:07Frank Alvarez:What am I doing? 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. I don't know. Was I singing a Sia song? yeah a chandelier or something one two three one two three bench yeah i i don't know but i caught myself asleep talking i thought that was so funny wait but why even in his work he's this guy is

14:21Joe Santagato:even in his sleep he's working you know i'm recording i'm always recording he's doing sound checking his sleep and stuff like that like so good i've been doing my sleep sound check no i

14:30Frank Alvarez:don't know like i'll look sometimes because i'd be like oh you know it'll tell you like if you were snoring or if it tells you if i don't know you were like rolling over but and that part i I don't really look at, to be honest, not all the time. Uh, but I did see sleep talking and I was like, what is that?

14:47Joe Santagato:I, there are times where I wonder if I still sleep talk. Cause I can't remember last time that like Becca said that I sleep talked, sleep toke. Um, but like there have been times where we've both been asleep and she'll be like, what do you say? I'm like, what? I'm just sleeping. I didn't say anything. And she's like, no, you said something. So like, maybe I should get this app to record if I am actually saying stuff. It could be fun. I mean, imagine tomorrow he comes in and he's like, I was cursing out the Hispanics in my sleep. Yeah, oh, my God. You should have heard me sleeping last night.

15:20Frank Alvarez:Oh, my God. I was going crazy.

15:21Joe Santagato:If that app worked in Staten Island, I could only imagine the things that would be said.

15:25Frank Alvarez:I'm sure it does. It's an app.

15:28Joe Santagato:But you have no context as to why you counted in your sleep? No idea. Because I don't remember the dream I had.

15:34Frank Alvarez:One, two, three, one, two, three.

15:37Joe Santagato:He sounded scared a little bit. it sounds like remember what was that thing that people would say during manhunt manhunt manhunt one two three when they'd grab them in order to catch them one two three maybe you were playing manhunt in your dream that sounds like i will be honest like that's not the first

15:50Frank Alvarez:time that i've heard that but sometimes like an overwhelming amount of the time when that's happening it's because like nicole can't sleep and she throws on the tv so it'll show up as sleep talking oh and i see that then i'm like oh okay so then i could hear it but have you ever been

16:05Joe Santagato:able to hear what she's watching and be like i know what that is from your sleep yeah like if

16:11Frank Alvarez:it's like the office or seinfeld or something it's kind of cool it's not that cool but uh so usually it's that but sometimes when i see the sleep talking thing i'm like oof like i'm afraid to play it because what if i just hear like hello well that's that's why let's leave he's sleeping I'd be like bro chill That's why Like that's why I said

16:33Joe Santagato:It could be a little spooky Because what if it caught like A ghost or something It could just be like

16:36Frank Alvarez:Hi fuck you Yeah

16:38Joe Santagato:Fuck you Yeah I don't know Or like you ever see those videos Of like I think it was one It was like a Japanese woman Hid in a crawl space And this guy Yes bro Nah bro I would have Lost my fucking mind Like the guy like Recorded his kitchen And then in the middle of the night Like a Japanese woman Just like Crawled down And took food Back into the crawl space Got like a bowl of cereal And bounced

16:59Frank Alvarez:Like a banana's gone. Yeah, that would fuck me up. That would fuck me up. Freaky as hell. Big time. I would not deal with that very well. And also, I wear contacts every day. So at the end of the night, I take my contacts out and put my glasses on. So when I go to sleep, I can't see. Like, I can see, but it's dark. My vision is not the best. So sometimes I'll just wake up in the middle of the night and look over at stuff. And I'm like, you said a person? Really? I'm like, yeah. sometimes when you you know when you have like a i don't have this anymore but in in my old apartment i used to have like a chair in the corner that would have clothes or something and it just looks like someone sitting there like yeah i have a tree not a tree i have a plant that's like a bigger plant that's in the corner of my room and sometimes i'm like well there's what

17:44Joe Santagato:there we have a bush in the front yard and every time i walk because like i sleep on the side where the window is and every time i walk i look out and i see it and i still i still do a double take because it looks like it could be someone just standing like that in my yard bro the house in

17:59Frank Alvarez:la we when before you got there we were like looking at all the rooms in the house and it was in the bathroom you walk into the bathroom and the wall all the way on this side is a cut the whole thing's a mirror so i walked in i thought someone else was walking out on the other side because it was me and i was like oh that shit scared me bro like because there was that one

18:18Joe Santagato:bathroom in there it was like a half bath that was the floor the walls the ceiling was not the floor but the walls and the ceiling was just mirrors i don't like so i go and i like look up and i freaked myself out because i was thinking of that scene from weapons remember you remember the scene where the dad is drinking you still haven't watched it yet no and i was just like

18:35Frank Alvarez:holy shit and then i fucking saw my stream wait you go to the you went to the bathroom and look

18:41Joe Santagato:straight up i look around when i pee don't you i look everywhere

18:46Frank Alvarez:No. I look everywhere. There was my friend in his old apartment. He had a mirror in front. From athletic stuff like a full court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff like a half mile stroll. Get those steps in.

18:59Joe Santagato:Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it.

19:06Frank Alvarez:...of the toilet, and while you're peeing, you're just staring right back at it. I have that in my apartment too, in one of the bathrooms. It's like I'm peeing, and I'm like, my penis is right there. And I walked out, I was like, why do you have a dick mirror in there? I was going to see my penis peeing.

19:19Joe Santagato:I feel like bathrooms really should have just the vanity mirrors. Like, you don't need to put more mirrors in there. Because you get yourself, like, when you want to get yourself. You know what I mean? If there's, like, a standing mirror or one on the wall or something, you might catch a stray of yourself that you weren't expecting, and you don't know what you're going to see.

19:37Frank Alvarez:Yeah. I don't need to see my wiener peeing. I'm good. When was the last time you saw your wiener in a mirror? all the time he just said oh yeah yeah oh all right i mean also like in front of the mirror like when i'm getting dressed i see i see my wiener really yeah i'm like getting dressed in front of the mirror you don't get dressed in front of the mirror no but how do you know what your clothes look like because i have eyes and i see them like this i know but don't you want to

20:04Joe Santagato:see what the outfit looks like i mean you know me i i'm pretty it doesn't take much to put together a blank t-shirt and sweatpants. I guess.

20:15Frank Alvarez:What about if you walk past the bathroom? Usually, at least above the sink has a mirror. Well, that's what I said.

20:20Joe Santagato:The vanity. So you don't see your wiener and mirrors? Whoa. You don't see your wiener and mirrors? I don't really. I don't see my wiener and mirrors that often.

20:28Frank Alvarez:When are you naked? In the shower. Sometimes.

20:34Joe Santagato:Sometimes I wear boxers in the shower. If the door is open and the girls are running in and out, I don't want their first memory to see daddy's balls.

20:43Frank Alvarez:It'd probably be their fifth or sixth memory. Why can't we close the door?

20:47Joe Santagato:Sometimes I do. Sometimes I leave it open because they're in the bath or they're going to come shower with me or something like that. So I keep boxers on or swim shorts. Okay. I don't want – I sadly remember my dad's balls, and I don't want my kids to have that. Yeah, I remember my dad's women too. That's a lot to have to parse through with a therapist eventually. Do you remember your dad's penis?

21:09Frank Alvarez:No, I've only seen it like twice. I mean, you remember that. Yeah, that's enough to remember. But it was when I was older. It's like, you know, sometimes you catch a glimpse at a urinal. Older? When you were older. How do you forget? I'm saying sometimes you catch a glimpse at a urinal, you know? Yeah, yeah. No, no. Oh, so you've like seen it peripheral? I tried. I tried, but yeah, she gave up at the end there. Yeah. So you've seen like, you know, like. I've seen, yeah. The shadows. The answer is yes. I've seen yes. Okay. Shadows? I mean, I've seen this thing. My dad. No, you're not.

21:39Joe Santagato:no no no yeah i just like so like i'm naked in the shower so like when you okay so you get out

21:45Frank Alvarez:of the shower right let's say there's no children around yeah uh how much time are you naked for and when i mean naked it's like no towel i here's my here's what i do yeah i shut the water off

21:56Joe Santagato:right i squeegee the glass and then i put every time you're squeegeeing yeah wow and then i put my i i towel and i put it around my waist and i go get my clothes okay yeah yeah and then i you go get your so you go into your bedroom i go to my bedroom i get my clothes that whatever i'm gonna wear out and then i go back into the bathroom or sometimes in the room most likely in the bathroom and i just get dressed right there you get dressed in the bathroom sometimes

22:23Frank Alvarez:wait why do you get dressed in the bathroom i don't know it's not like an active thing i'm doing

22:27Joe Santagato:it's just what do you mean that is a completely active thing it's a different no it's not like I'm like, I'm not going to get dressed in here. Sometimes I get dressed in my closet. Sometimes I get dressed in my room. Sometimes I get dressed in the bathroom.

22:37Frank Alvarez:Okay.

22:37Joe Santagato:I would say most of the time, probably the bathroom because, you know, like. But you don't spend any of the travel time naked.

22:43Frank Alvarez:No.

22:45Joe Santagato:I got little kids running around. Like I said, I don't want all that. I don't want it all that.

22:50Frank Alvarez:But you have a little door.

22:51Joe Santagato:I know. But also sometimes I'm getting out and like, you know, Becca's doing her makeup and like, you know, the kids are running in and out getting dressed or something. in so I keep the towel around me and then I get in the bathroom and I throw my boxers on

23:03Frank Alvarez:what if you didn't have kids would you are you naked walking around that's tough I've never been

23:08Joe Santagato:a big fan of being naked you don't like being naked no not my favorite you know that I've told

23:13Frank Alvarez:you that you know that you know that I've told you that we've talked about that before I do

23:19Joe Santagato:I do how much how much time do you think in a in a in a week do you spend naked oh not not insanely long can you narrow it down to like minutes or hours um if i had to i'd say probably

23:33Frank Alvarez:around like in a week we're not including like in the shower obviously that's when you're naked oh oh i mean but yeah but like obviously you're naked then i would say like two hours a week maybe i'm not naked often i was thinking about just the time that's obviously not in the shower because everyone's naked during that like how often are you naked just kind of oh never i'm never naked i mean that's not true but yeah okay we don't i don't know if we needed that yeah i'm glad you so for what three minutes

24:11Joe Santagato:yeah you got it absolutely nailed me yeah pile driver over here yeah big old big old fat dick

24:16Frank Alvarez:pile driver over there um but um i was gonna say like 20 minutes a week maybe 20 minutes Yeah, because I like to get in the shower, though. I get out of the shower and then I like I I sometimes I just, you know, if I'm like dry, I just take it off. And then I'm kind of like, dude, I don't do like a ton of stuff.

24:37Joe Santagato:But like today I was like, well, your apartment is also like a lot of like windows, brother. You're not afraid.

24:43Frank Alvarez:But no one can see in my windows.

24:45Joe Santagato:How do you know people? There are there are voyeurs that have binoculars and there's like where let me zoom in all the way so I can see Joey. I mean if they did that all the power to him I don't think they could though I have windows and then there's like kids that live in the neighborhood so like yeah you can't go into like the living room or whatever I mean even my bedroom there's big windows you know so like I don't want to be naked in front of a window where there's an outdoors I in my bedroom there is a big window and I can be naked in front of it because no one can see into that how do you know because

25:19Frank Alvarez:Because it's facing Manhattan.

25:21Joe Santagato:Yeah, how do you know someone isn't across Manhattan with an old pirate?

25:24Frank Alvarez:Who cares?

25:25Joe Santagato:I wouldn't care at that point.

25:26Frank Alvarez:Hotel rooms. Naked as hell? Yeah. I'm pretty naked in hotels. And that's why I'll stand by the window. Because, you know, they can't really see in. Oh, you're... You... I'll just look.

25:36Joe Santagato:You're looking over the land? Yeah. Like you're Simba? Sort of. Mufasa, come on. Well, Simba gets it eventually. Eventually, but Mufasa's the one that shows him everything the light touches.

25:47Frank Alvarez:Yeah, I'm just thinking about when I do it. because, you know, a lot of times they have that glass that's like almost a one-way mirror and they can't see in the hotel. It's like tinted, like super tinted. So I'll just look out there. If someone could see me naked from that far, what do I care? They don't know it's me.

26:00Joe Santagato:I mean, we're starting to get big. You got to think about the paparazzo. They're coming for you.

26:04Frank Alvarez:A paparazzo has never taken my photo ever.

26:07Joe Santagato:How do you know? Well, I feel like you do know.

26:10Frank Alvarez:A person runs upon you with a camera and takes your photo.

26:13Joe Santagato:This is a real thing that you need to start thinking about. As our growth continues in the right direction, you have to worry about where you're naked.

26:20Frank Alvarez:If someone takes a picture of me from my apartment, like my apartment, like finds out where I live and takes a photo of me naked. Can I sue? Isn't that crazy? I'm sure you can,

26:30Joe Santagato:but then it makes you look like a real asshole that I'm suing someone.

26:35Frank Alvarez:Joey. They should be like,

26:36Joe Santagato:Oh, why Joey sued us? Cause now everyone has seen his micro cock.

26:39Frank Alvarez:Yeah. Wow. Well, you did not fresh out the shower right after a workout though. Oh, that's the best. No. oh i don't know why after a workout is is like dude after i'm working out in a freezer after i ran the half it was inside my body bro what is that i don't know i think that's a thing i don't

26:59Joe Santagato:know i i've never i've never ran to to have that experience it's not all it's not every time but

27:05Frank Alvarez:there are times where i like will hit like a pretty good work or like a run and then i'm like Dude, this is a bad one.

27:15Joe Santagato:I cannot speak to that. Well, I bring my underwear into the bathroom and my undershirt while I'm showering.

27:23Frank Alvarez:So right after the shower, I just kind of put on my bottom stuff there, and then I'll walk out.

27:28Joe Santagato:So you're just putting it on wet?

27:30Frank Alvarez:No, no, no. I have a towel. I'll dry myself off in the bathroom a little bit. I'll put on my undershirt and underwear.

27:36Joe Santagato:All right, that's not crazy.

27:37Frank Alvarez:Like I'm saying, I bring my bottom stuff into the bathroom. I don't go to the bed, get the clothes, and then come back to the bathroom. It feels like a wasted trip.

27:45Joe Santagato:Well, you also basically live in a college dorm, so I can understand.

27:51Frank Alvarez:Still travel. Still travel.

27:54Joe Santagato:Bro, that was a crazy concept. In my school, there were residence halls that the bathroom was communal, so you had to get in your towel and clothes and walk down the hall to shower.

28:08Frank Alvarez:Yeah, I do that at the gym. I take a shower at the gym naked.

28:12Joe Santagato:Yeah, you're a grown-ass man, but like 18-year-olds? Oh. Weird. Oh, I see what you're saying. It was weird, dude. That sense of like a shower caddy and walking in flip-flops and a towel to the bathroom past everyone's door.

28:27Frank Alvarez:R.A. Frankie's like, that towel's not gray. Give it to me now.

28:31Joe Santagato:Yeah. Give it to me right now.

28:32Frank Alvarez:You got me.

28:34Joe Santagato:Absolutely. No, there was no rules on towels. There were rules on the size of refrigerators and on certain lights.

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30:36Joe Santagato:know if that was just just the the the cheekbones and the brow line it's like kind of looks like me

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31:11Joe Santagato:nationwide, but worldwide? Us! That was way

31:15Frank Alvarez:too loud.

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32:22Joe Santagato:If you use a smart app, they might take a couple extra bucks from you. All right. We thank you. And as this has come out, TheBaseMineyard, we're doing shows again. Ooh. So the presale came and went. We don't know what is still available because we are not in the future. Not in the future. So what you could do is go to TheBaseMineyard.com. check out the shows that we have listed there if there is anything that is available in your area and you want to come see us we're really excited it's going to be a fun time so go check it out thank you guys for putting us in the position where we can be doing stuff like this it means the world patreon.com slash the basement yard the basement yard.com go check out both thank you I'm getting really good like skilled

33:07Frank Alvarez:what'd you say? at oh like doing a doing an ad a commercial oh yeah Yeah, I agree.

33:14Joe Santagato:You heard that, right? Like, I'm not crazy. That was a little disrespectful.

33:18Frank Alvarez:Wow. You don't think so? I don't know. Listen, there's a new trend, apparently. South Korea invented a fake shopping website where you can browse, fill a cart, and track a delivery, but nothing ever gets delivered. And it's just to, like, hit that dopamine. Dopamine sites, baby. Just from shopping, I guess.

33:37Joe Santagato:That's what I'm talking about. Listen, if you're a seasoned window shopper like me, this ain't new, dog. I love doing shit like this.

33:44Frank Alvarez:I feel like that's a pretty common thing amongst women, at least in my experience. If I can throw some sexism out a little bit, I think it's a common thing amongst... Ladies be shopping. Yeah, I think they do be shopping and spending the money. But my sister does it, Nicole does it, and you do it too? The three women in your life, yes. The three women in my life,

34:07Joe Santagato:they throw a bunch of stuff in a cart, but they don't buy it. Well, I do that sometimes just because it's like a form of controlling my discipline. Does that make sense at all? Like you're like a shopping edging? Like you'll throw stuff in a cart that you want? Yeah. I'm bringing myself right. I'm blue balling my shopping balls. But will you come back to it? It really depends. I mean, I need to. I go back and forth between I want to buy stuff for myself and I don't. so i'll keep stuff in a cart and then like if i ever get in the mood where i'm like yeah you know what i should just pull the trigger i can just go right over and pull the trigger sometimes i also then if it's not there anymore or like the cookies were deleted or whatever i'll be like i wasn't

34:51Frank Alvarez:meant to be i wasn't meant to have that yankee hat wow okay you don't do that no i think that like i don't online shop often so when i do i'm like going with a purpose to purchase do you how are

35:06Joe Santagato:you like what do you think about online shopping are you getting this this this or this i almost exclusively do it i know that you don't like it i hate it yeah i hate online shopping why are you worried about like the sizing of things yes that's part of it also i just i'm a tactile person so like i need to see and feel something before i purchase it because i can tell if it's a good quality or not yeah i mean you could also like read the description yeah but that but the description is made by the people that want you to buy it so they might not be as forthcoming and then i'll also check the reviews sometimes but also that could also be bullshit you know what i've been doing

35:44Frank Alvarez:like i will put sometimes i'll put an item that i like and be like oh i'm kind of on the fence about this and then i'll put it into like tiktok and see if people made like review videos on it so i could actually see it on a purpose i've done that with um pots and pans i've done like oh i'm going to

36:01Joe Santagato:check out if these are actually good pots and pans because I should be like, and then you go and there's someone that has dedicated their life to reviewing it and they're like, they're all right.

36:09Frank Alvarez:You know what I do? No matter what I'm buying, I'll just put in the name of the store or if it's, you know, whatever it is, into Google and just go discount codes. Usually I find one. That's interesting. I'm not kidding.

36:23Joe Santagato:A lot of places also do price man. So like if you were to go to like Target. I don't know if Target.com has this. I can remember from when I was in store, but like if you go to target and you see an item and it's 50 bucks but then you look on line at walmart and it's listed at walmart for 40 bucks you'll tell them and they'll price match it for you see see i'm a lazy shopper you just don't care no you don't care at all well i just

36:48Frank Alvarez:yeah i just i i don't i don't know i i like the which is bad i know i will say this the worst

36:55Joe Santagato:part of and this is one of the biggest reasons i dislike online shopping is the waiting for it to

36:59Frank Alvarez:come that's yeah but it's not that long anymore i mean but it's still like a day or two i like if i

37:05Joe Santagato:get something i'm excited to have it and i want it right now but isn't it more convenient to be

37:10Frank Alvarez:able to shop from your house even if you have to wait a day or two uh rather than like i have to get up and go and go and search and i also want to know what all of my options are and it's easier

37:22Joe Santagato:to know that i mean i think that like well like retail is moving away from brick and mortar stores Like I went the other day shopping and the guy straight up just said like, oh, we don't have that in stock. It's just an online only item. And I'm like, well, why do you have a display in the store? Yeah. And he's like, because if you want it, we'll just order it online. And that's where retailers are moving toward. It's just like, it's easier. I guess it's bigger business and there's less overhead when they do an online store than a brick and mortar store. I do think that like, I mean, there are stores I like going to, but a lot of stores like don't have shit.

38:02Joe Santagato:That's the thing is now it's easier for them to just keep it in a warehouse than to stock and employ.

38:09Frank Alvarez:There's certain, there's certain brands that I do like. And anytime I've been in their store, it's like there's slim pickings there. But then there's other stores like Zara where I'm like, this is a good store.

38:22Joe Santagato:Zara is an anomaly. I went in. Zara's good. I went in the other day with Becca and I was like, there's more stuff here than I've ever seen online.

38:30Frank Alvarez:Bro, also, I got to say this about Zara. And I, you know, potentially, I don't know. The store, incredible. The website, the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. Really? Yeah, because I think it was, like, what I heard was that it was made to be like a magazine. Pull up the Zara website right now. It's horrific, dude. Zara's just getting absolutely love and hate in this. Well, that's the thing. Like I feel okay saying that because I feel bad about, you know, I mean, they're a big corporation. They don't fucking care. Like if this was a smaller thing, I'd feel worse. But the site is like, it's just hard to find shit.

39:02Frank Alvarez:See, this is what we're talking about. Oh, wait. Yeah. Where? Well, there's a search in the top right. Oh, and it's over. What are we doing here? No one's going to see this. So, I mean, I feel bad.

39:12Joe Santagato:I mean, imagine Zara and Zara, like whoever Zara is, is watching. And they're just like, I imagine a German name like Zara. It's like, this is so mean. what are we what are all these lines yeah and then you have to go to like what the hell is that i mean

39:26Frank Alvarez:i don't know but ben yo and then you got to go to man and then you got to go to the shop go to shop all i mean this is ridiculous what we're doing now this is not part of the podcast but it's fine the point is i don't i'm not a fan of the website but i think that their clothes and being in the

39:42Joe Santagato:store yeah i've gotten some stuff from them that i that i enjoy but like it is like but that's what I mean like the shopping experience for me it's more rewarding than the conveniences for doing it at home because then it comes to your then you have to wait for it then it comes to your house and then what if you don't like it then you need to go out of your way to ship it back which yes they give you like most of the time they give you like a free shipping label or whatever but like then you need to package it you need to put the label on it which oh do you have a box hope you have a box if not you got to go get a box or you got to bring it to up and they go well you go to WPSA boxes.

40:15Joe Santagato:I know, but like, it's fucking, you, like, this is so annoying. I like going to a store and being like, I like that.

40:21Frank Alvarez:You've never gone to a store and then bought something and brought it home and put it on and been like, I fucking hate this. No, not once.

40:28Joe Santagato:I feel like I've done that. I have not. Also, like, if I am unsure about, like, fit or how I'm going to look, I'll just try it on at the store. I'd rather just let shit rip online because I also like getting boxes and it's like, ooh,

40:38Frank Alvarez:Christmas. I know.

40:40Joe Santagato:I love getting boxes. Like, that's the thing is like, I don't like online shopping, but I love getting packages. So like, I want someone to online shop for me on my behalf and send it to me so I can be surprised and happy when it comes.

40:53Frank Alvarez:What a world you live in. Yeah, I don't know. I, uh, I'm, you know what? I'm going to give you homework. I'm also not really good at returning things. Yeah. I'm bad. I'm not good with it either. I like, especially if it's like a t-shirt, like if I got a t-shirt and it was like 20 something bucks like i waited this long it showed up i'm not gonna return this unfortunately and i know that's a luxury and that's a stupid thing to do with your money but i in my opinion shopping

41:23Joe Santagato:online for something remedial like a t-shirt is so stupid like a t-shirt is a t-shirt you can find a t-shirt you will not go out and have trouble finding t-shirts but i'm not buying just a white t-shirt i mean regardless like the shirt that you're wearing yes i'm not i'm not referencing the quality or anything of it but like you can go out and find a shirt that similar if not the exact same one somewhere the thing is though sometimes i'll go like this i'll say i need

41:56Frank Alvarez:a green pet which i'm still on the hunt for a uh olive green pair of pants that i like right you're still on the hunt for like someone's gonna be like i gotcha joe well i've been trying to find like a good pair that i'm like seeing and i'm like oh i like these but i can't find a good one but so i i if i find a site that has those pants what's going on um that has those pants i'm not gonna just buy the pants you're gonna buy extra i'm gonna get a few things so okay i mean because i'm like i don't want to just because if i open a box and it's only got one thing in it i'm like the kid from harry potter i'm like last year there was 34 like i need more shit in here when is what

42:41Joe Santagato:since when is dursley or dudley like hispanic there 334 i was i think i said my tongue was going crazy i just like a t-shirt if you're online shopping and one of the items that you're getting is a t-shirt in my opinion i understand what you're doing where it's like i bought other stuff and then i'll just throw this in there but like if you're online shopping and it's four t-shirts just go out to a store. Yeah, I mean, rarely does that happen. That I'll just be like, I'm just kidding. Also, I've boughten clothes off Amazon. Boughten? Purchased. Sure. That feels wrong, right? You what? I've purchased clothes from Amazon.

43:17Joe Santagato:That feels wrong. Like, Amazon is not for clothes. I feel like everyone does that. It's for, like, lighters and stuff like that. I've bought clothes on Amazon. I have, too, but I'm saying, like, it feels, like, wrong. I mean, it's Amazon.

43:30Frank Alvarez:There's, like, everything. I know, but it's just, I've bought like weird shit.

43:34Joe Santagato:I'm telling you now, if and when Amazon starts selling like luxury items, all of retail is going down the drain. All of retail is going down the drain.

43:45Frank Alvarez:I think that would defeat the purpose.

43:49Joe Santagato:Well, yes, absolutely. You know, but... Luxury items can't be that accessible. I think I actually saw that. I think it's like Long Jean, the watch company. I think they sell on Amazon now. and that dude how much are those watches i don't know honestly i i imagine they're expensive like

44:06Frank Alvarez:at least a thousand yeah i've seen some items on there that are like it's like a generator or

44:13Joe Santagato:something that's like two grand is there anything on amazon that you would buy that you wouldn't

44:17Frank Alvarez:buy because you're like i wouldn't get this from amazon no really i i think that i would get anything from amazon oh especially like bro pretty much exclusively underwear socks if i'm purchasing them i'm gonna just get them from amazon really no i i don't like it and maybe maybe i'm being boomer but like underwear i'll buy from places that uh as an add-on like i'll throw an under

44:45Joe Santagato:sometime but like i need to feel the undies i need to feel that what they are no so like if i go to target and i like a pair of underwear i'll like try to you know how they had that thing at the bottom where it's like feel me and it's like a little cut out yeah i'll like dig my finger in there and finger it just i'll finger the bag just to see if i could feel that it's a good pair of

45:03Frank Alvarez:boxers okay am i wrong i mean no i mean i i'm not judging you i just i just i don't care that much

45:11Joe Santagato:i don't care what the item is if there is a little like try me or feel me cut out in the packaging a finger's going in yeah yeah you know if i'm walking around toys r us and all the toys are

45:21Frank Alvarez:like try me finger me or whatever well they're not gonna say finger me what was it feel me feel

45:25Joe Santagato:me i'm i'm doing it 100 they they got me because like or like it's like a toy that has the like on the back of the box it has like the string that you could pull i'm an adult i'm gonna pull it ripping the string i don't care dude yeah if you're gonna give me the opportunity to try something in a store i'm going to try it this is a stupid thing but like you know when uh

45:47Frank Alvarez:toys, like the battery, the pack in the back. It kind of has like a plastic thing that you rip and then the batteries will work. Yeah.

45:54Joe Santagato:I fucking love that. I do too because it always comes out so smooth.

45:58Frank Alvarez:I know.

45:58Joe Santagato:I also love when you can put batteries in something and there's that like piece of - From athletic

46:02Frank Alvarez:stuff like a full court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff like a half mile stroll.

46:08Joe Santagato:Get those steps in. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it.

46:44Joe Santagato:It's just to keep it's an extra layer of protection to keep it cleaner.

46:47Frank Alvarez:But you're not getting the full experience of the TV that you just bought. Yeah. No, because there's a screen on it.

46:52Joe Santagato:I don't have the eyes to be able to go, you know what? This isn't 1080p. You definitely do. No, I do definitely not. You do definitely not? You don't have good eyes? You squint a lot. Don't you dare say that like that. Don't you? I do. But you're not allowed to say it. Wait, when you go to the eye doctor, what do they say to you? I've gone to the eye doctor Cause they're not good once and last Like clearly there's something going on Wow You're starting to piggyback on me and I don't like it But they don't tell you get contacts or anything? Uh no I mean I have glasses and I haven't gone in like 3 years What's your prescription do you know?

47:28Joe Santagato:I don't know the actual number Ever since my employer got me vision insurance I've made it a thing to like Yeah what the fuck was with that by the way Because when we got insurance you were like going crazy about the vision But now you don't wear glasses Because I wear them mostly for drives because I was finding that after long drives, I was having headaches.

47:46Frank Alvarez:You're squinting the whole time.

47:47Joe Santagato:I don't know if I... I don't think I'm squinting. Danger. You're doing it now. I'm doing it now because I'm angry. This is an angry squint. Both of you, you fucks. I have a pair of glasses now, and I'll get another one. How about that? Yeah. I'll get two more.

48:03Frank Alvarez:What is that going to do to me? I don't know. You're acting like that's my punishment. But we do have some more sponsors. Do we? Maybe we should get to those instead. Yeah, you probably should. Yeah, let's get to that. We have another sponsor, Wayfair. Wayfair, they make furniture. They make furniture for everything. I have bought so much Wayfair. There's a bunch of Wayfair in my apartment at the current time. But they are affordable. They have every single piece of furniture that you could possibly think of. They have outdoor furniture, indoor furniture, rugs, couches, cabinets, whatever you need.

48:35Frank Alvarez:It's like they have everything. So whenever I'm shopping for a new piece of furniture, I will go to Wayfair first. because I think that with the price, the affordability, with the quality that you usually get, it's great. And right now, summer's coming, outdoor seating, grills, major appliances, storage, patio furniture, things like that. You can get it all on Wayfair. It's a one-stop shop for your home. They have over 20 million five-star reviews. And you can shop with Wayfair Verified. Okay, your shortcut to the good stuff, their team of product specialists, that's everything by hand using a 10-point inspection, testing things like quality materials, functionality, features, and even how long it takes to build.

49:14Frank Alvarez:That is a huge one. Sometimes you buy a piece of furniture from another company and it's like, well, this is going to take a year. So that kind of cuts into it. So I appreciate the fact that they take that into account. But yeah, patio season is here and these deals won't last. Head to Wayfair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less. that's wayfair spelled w-a-y-f-a-i-r dot com okay go to wayfair.com go check out all those deals save some money get your furniture all right folks and lastly here we have cash app you guys know what cash app is uh you can send money from person to person um but they also have a uh it does more than that um they're making sure your money stays your money cash app just released a new status program for the way people actually spend called cash app green uh now when you spend at least 500 a month with the cash app card you earn green status which unlocks benefits like up to 200 of free over draft coverage um if you overdraft unexpectedly no hidden fees uh you're good um but yeah so you can like earn your way into that green status um but yeah and you also you could like send money if you're out with your friends and whatever and they're paying for that You can send the money with Cash App as well.

50:34Frank Alvarez:But yeah, you can get the Cash App card and enjoy that. And yeah, new Cash App customers can earn$10 if they use the code CASHAPP10 at signup and send$5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC. cash app visa debit flex cards issued by sutton bank members fdic and the bank corp bank pursuant to a license of to a license from visa usa incorporated see terms and conditions for the sun for prepaid card sutton debit flex card and bank corp debit flex card i have to read this like this cash app green features savings direct deposit roundups overdraft coverage and discounts provided by cash app a block incorporated brand visit cash app dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures but again uh new cash app customers can earn ten dollars if they use the code cash app 10 in their profile at sign up and send five dollars to a friend within 14 days all right so go check out the cash app folks so just to put a bow on that conversation

51:49Joe Santagato:what are your thoughts on this whole dopamine sites where they're fake online shopping i don't

51:53Frank Alvarez:know that I would get anything from that I I get more like I do get something out of because I do find myself shopping online when I'm like bored like you'll go look up things to buy yeah like if I'm just sitting on my couch and you know I'm just kind of like whatever I'll be like you know I don't mean maybe I'll buy some clothes I'll like go to the sites that I like to go to and

52:14Joe Santagato:see if there's anything do you think online shopping makes it feel less like shopping than shopping in store and that's why people are like shopping but like isn't it like that's why people are more inclined because there's a sense of like i'm not physically handing money over to someone i'm not physically taking my card out and doing it it's just like now you can preload your card your credit card or debit card into your phone and you can literally see something and

52:40Frank Alvarez:just click one button and you're done what was the question do you think that online shopping

52:46Joe Santagato:is people are so in love with it because it feels less like shopping than actual in-store shopping i think it's just convenience like you don't have to get up and go why does everything need to be

52:56Frank Alvarez:convenient though like i agree that things shouldn't be like that personally for me i don't like i i never felt compelled to go out and go shopping not a thing that i like oh i like it

53:10Joe Santagato:i feel like it's like nice to like you also feel like rewarding like it feels rewarding like you're looking for something and then you go and you find it you're like i gotcha but it's rare that i know what i'm looking for before i see it really yeah like i i don't i i know like you don't go in something you don't go in saying like i have this event or this something coming up and i want to

53:29Frank Alvarez:get clothes for that but i so no really no like that's what because we're going on vacation soon

53:37Joe Santagato:and like my approach was just like oh i want to get something for the vacation for like yeah the beachy you know stuff like that so like you go in with like an idea at least a general structure you're going in just fucking raw dogging stores yeah isn't i feel like that's what makes shopping

53:54Frank Alvarez:more fun is when you don't know exactly what you want so you're going in you're browsing you're like oh look at that i feel like that makes it more dangerous if you go with like a sense of

54:01Joe Santagato:like yeah it's like going to the supermarket hungry if you're going to a store just because you want to shop like you're doing yourself a disservice you should be going and just like

54:10Frank Alvarez:But what do you describe? Are you describing something that's different than what I'm saying? Like if I'm, if I know, cause I'm going to Portugal soon. I'm like, I need some new clothes for Portugal, but I don't know what I want. I'm just go. Simple flex. What's a simple flex? Going to Portugal?

54:26Joe Santagato:No, I, I, I hear what you're saying.

54:27Frank Alvarez:I just feel like. Will you go to stores knowing like, I want that item? Yeah.

54:34Joe Santagato:Sometimes that has happened. How do you know that? Like you. Sometimes I'll look up and I'll say like, oh, Target carries it. and I'll go to Target for that item. Okay. You know, because I don't like waiting. The waiting. The waiting is the hardest part. You remember that song, Tom Petty? Yeah, it's a good one. I just, because then I buy it and then it's like, it'll be there in two and a half days. And those two days, I'm just seeing refresh, refresh, refresh, all the shipping, you know, notifications. And I just want it.

55:03Frank Alvarez:Give me what I bought. I don't know. That's interesting. But you're talking about convenience. what about patience fucking both well there you go it's solved i do it i do it more as like a

55:15Joe Santagato:discipline thing like you said i'm edging my my shopping skills do you shop a lot not a lot do you fake shop a lot oh yeah really often every day i i have like like two dozen tabs on my phone

55:29Frank Alvarez:right now of stuff that i've added into carts i can't even think about that yeah i'd never have

55:33Joe Santagato:tabs oh i have like because i use google chrome and it'll say like inactive like i haven't opened them in like two weeks or something like that and it goes to a separate tab i'll just go in and reopen all of them just so they're all there what is that about you can't even throw away tabs

55:49Frank Alvarez:you can't even throw away i'll throw them away right now no i don't not frankie i don't want to be the reason why you're throwing these tabs well you're not doing anything frank no one's going to think anything of you because you changed your tabs just keep your tabs we're thinking of

56:00Joe Santagato:something right now we're thinking you know i think that if anything it makes me a more disciplined person and better than you okay um i feel like uh so how so you said like every day you'll throw something in a cart yeah every day just to do it yeah why not and like things that i have no intent on buying sometimes too like i'm not going to buy you know a new like watch right now but i'll just go and I'll be like that's a nice one I'll put it in the cart and then I'll just back away like that episode of Homer uh the Simpsons where Homer's in the bush yeah you know I'm just like don't you like get an email and they're like hey you left something back sometimes sometimes I do yeah but that's a good email dude I hate that I don't that's why I don't give when you go to the times you go to brick and mortar stores and they say like what's your email what's your email what do you say I give them my email oh I say no thank you well I'm not brave so I can't say that I the

56:58Frank Alvarez:If they asked for my social, I'd probably give it up, honestly.

57:01Joe Santagato:I was shopping the other day, and the guy goes, can I get your email? And I go, oh, no, thanks. And he goes, it's for the receipt. And I go, I'll take a paper receipt. And he goes, this guy's relentless. That's what he said to me. I mean, yeah, I mean, at the same time, I think that, like, bro, stop. I just, like, any time a business asks for your phone number or your email, just say no. Just say no.

57:25Frank Alvarez:Part of my, I guess that's part of the reason why I don't even like in-person shopping. Do you have to deal with people? It's a whole song and dance. Well, Zara now has self-checkouts.

57:36Joe Santagato:Do they? Yeah. Wow. So you can go up, buy your shit, and get out of there. You don't need to get checked out by a 19-year-old that has like eight bracelets on one arm.

57:47Frank Alvarez:Why do they all like that? Dude, and they're big. Like all the people that work at Zara are like covered in bracelets like it's Coachella.

57:53Joe Santagato:Yes, yes. And then you go across to like Zoomies and it's just like the skaters.

57:58Frank Alvarez:I've never been inside of a zoomies.

58:00Joe Santagato:I've been inside of a zoomies before.

58:02Frank Alvarez:You should go to journeys all the time though.

58:04Joe Santagato:Yeah. Journeys. I've, I've gone to journeys. I don't know if I've ever bought anything at a journeys. So I have, I like, I love going in there and be like, let's see what they have. They've had the exact same stuff since 2006. Yeah. There's nothing different.

58:17Frank Alvarez:See, that's the other thing too. If I like, if I'm like, all right, I need to shop for a trip. And then I go to the mall and I go to the mall and I see, I don't see a lot of stuff that I like that I'm like, yo, I just wasted a whole day on this when I could just be sitting on my couch and like going to five stores at once.

58:34Joe Santagato:Ooh, Ooh, look at your standards, lower them a little bit just to get something that scratches the itch. What? Lower your standards a little.

58:42Frank Alvarez:What does that mean?

58:43Joe Santagato:Well, like you don't need to be like, I have this idea in my mind. If you see something that's kind of along the lines of what you want, you just get that. You're already there. Well,

58:50Frank Alvarez:no, I'm not going to do that. That's stupid. How is that stupid? Because I said so. Right. i'd rather just i'd rather be able to be like okay let's see what they got over here whatever and like a lot of places are are like dropping new stuff all the time so i'm like what's new i want to check out what's new at this store so i'll just go and i'll look i won't put something

59:09Joe Santagato:in my cart unless i'm buying it how do you feel about all right how do you feel about i'm going to give you three places you tell me you rank that's six go ahead i'm gonna give you three Three places you rank your favorite to least favorite. Okay? Okay. A strip mall. An outlet. Are those different? Yeah. What's a strip mall? Like a strip mall is like. Like Portobello? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that. But like if there's stores there. Yeah, yeah. An outlet. And that's. Just like a mini city of stores. Okay. It's like a little village of stores. Oh, okay. There's like walkways. Yeah. And it's also different.

59:45Joe Santagato:like it's like they're like the clothes that didn't sell well on like actual price they send them over to the outlet right yeah or one floor of a mall yes or like a mall proper um but the

59:58Frank Alvarez:outlets are normally outside too yeah i don't i haven't spent too much time at outlets because they don't really exist out where i am right now in new york city yeah like they don't have outlets

1:00:10Joe Santagato:yeah but you can they're very popular outlets not that far from here yeah and i've gone to them a couple times but um which ones do i like hate going to or which ones do i respect the least oh that's are those different answers yeah okay i think i know which one you're gonna say you respect the least what shopping malls like like a mall like queen center mall no i i respect a mall

1:00:38Frank Alvarez:i hate a mall why because it's like it's like i i just don't like it why are you one of those People that walk in and you're just like capitalism. No, I hate a food court. Oh. Shut up, dude. You like the food court?

1:00:53Joe Santagato:Food courts are the best parts of every mall.

1:00:55Frank Alvarez:We're all adults and we're back in fifth grade lunch.

1:00:58Joe Santagato:Bro, the quality of a mall, it lives and dies with the quality of its food court. I will not. That is so crazy to me, dude.

1:01:07Frank Alvarez:I hate a food court. It's insane.

1:01:09Joe Santagato:Dude, a food court is so cool. Where else can you see Taco Bell and fucking Chinese restaurant? And Sbarro's coexisting in the same fucking breathable space.

1:01:19Frank Alvarez:That's what I'm saying. There's like ten very different cuisines all lined up next to each other. Beautiful. I'm going to take a high school tray back to my table. What are we doing?

1:01:30Joe Santagato:This guy is so – oh, well, let me guess. You want them all separated and you don't want them to all talk at all. You want segregation of the food chain stores. It's all fast food. It is, but who cares? Me, I don't like it. A lot of them are now, like, it's becoming a thing where, like, malls are, like, they're, like, veering away or staying away from, like, big chain places like that because the current generation of people that are spending a lot of time at the mall are a lot more health conscious.

1:01:56Frank Alvarez:Yeah.

1:01:56Joe Santagato:So, like, it'll be more, like, poke bowls and healthy salad places and stuff like that. So it's changed, dude. You got to go to a food court. No. I literally don't need that.

1:02:10Frank Alvarez:Yes, you do. Why would I need to go to a food court?

1:02:13Joe Santagato:Because a fucking food court is everything at times that is right with this country, dude. Everything. Like, don't make me do this, Joey. I don't like it, dude. You know why I'm passionate about food courts. Well, what does that mean? What were you going to say?

1:02:31Frank Alvarez:I think he should go, too. I think it'll bring him back. Oh, yeah. Let's go on a field trip to a food court. What are we talking about, guys?

1:02:38Joe Santagato:Dude, and then you go and you always get free samples of the greatest tasting orange chicken you've ever had in your life. And then you get it from the Chinese spot. And it comes by weight. They give you eight pounds of rice and noodles and orange chicken that doesn't taste like the sample you just had. No, it doesn't.

1:02:55Frank Alvarez:I don't like the idea of any of this. I don't know why you guys even enjoy it. The way you're describing it doesn't even sound good.

1:03:00Joe Santagato:Because it is at times everything that is right with this country. It is the beauty of coexisting among different people with a shared goal of wanting to consume food in the basement of a mall most of the time. Yeah, why is it always in the fucking basement? It is always open. There's no windows. It is. It's in a basement.

1:03:17Frank Alvarez:And I'm like, I'll just eat before I get here. No, dude. I'm not going to the mall shopping starving. I don't need to get Panda Express right now. Here are the rules.

1:03:27Joe Santagato:Here are the rules. I'll get a pretzel, though. I'm not against.

1:03:31Frank Alvarez:You know what I'm not against?

1:03:32Joe Santagato:Kiosks. I'm not against those. So here's the way to do it. Go to a mall, get a pretzel. And I'm talking an Auntie Anne's. If Wetzel's still exists, Wetzel's is fine as well. But you get one of those fucking whatever they actually are mall pretzels. Yeah, they're ridiculous. You eat that with a fountain drink. It could be water. It could be soda. Whatever. And then you shop and then you go to the food court with all your bags. and you're like, let me go and get a fucking empanada from this place that is not going to be here in a week and a half.

1:04:07Frank Alvarez:Just not my vibe at all. Oh, yeah, you made it sound worse somehow. How? Also, I'm done shopping, and then I'm going to the food court? Or you could go in the middle. Yeah, it has to be before. But, like, here's my thing. When would you go to the food court? Going after you're already done shopping, to me, is like, Yeah, just go home. What are we doing? I could go anywhere right now.

1:04:28Joe Santagato:Because you smell the beautiful aroma of the combination of a cheesy gordita crunch, a Sbarro's six inch thick slice of pizza with the reddest pepperoni you've ever seen in your life. And then a fucking three piece of Popeye's fried chicken. No, dude. Life. Oh, if there's a Popeye's, I'll do that. Life begins.

1:04:50Frank Alvarez:In a food court? In a food court, dude. No, life doesn't.

1:04:54Joe Santagato:And then you go and you're like, wait, why are Taco Bells? It like blows your mind. and you're like, Taco Bell and Popeyes are boys that they share a counter, and you could get them both there together? No. No. You have lost your way. I fear.

1:05:09Frank Alvarez:I legitimately have.

1:05:10Joe Santagato:I fear that you have lost your way.

1:05:12Frank Alvarez:Because I don't like food courts? Yeah. And I don't like malls.

1:05:16Joe Santagato:You forgot where you came from. I came from the food court? You came. A version of Joe Santayana was birthed in the food court basement of Queen's Center Mall. No, he wasn't. I've hated it my entire life. No. Frank, when did I go to the food court? There were times we had gone together because you would take the bus sometimes to meet up with me there.

1:05:36Frank Alvarez:And I've done it before, but I didn't go to the mall a lot. I feel like the food court and that mall was such a big part of the prep experience.

1:05:48Joe Santagato:Yeah, because the bus dropped you at the door in between both of the buildings.

1:05:53Frank Alvarez:My entire high school career, I've probably walked into that mall, like, when I got dropped off there, like, under 10 times. Whoa. Wow. Okay.

1:06:02Joe Santagato:I used to, well, you know, my, like, middle slash high school girlfriend, I used to pick her up from the bus there. And then we would go in. She'd get a drink from her Dunkin' Donuts, and we'd walk the mall a little bit.

1:06:14Frank Alvarez:I just wasn't really into it.

1:06:14Joe Santagato:And we would go see the awesome Warner Brothers store and be like, that's a fucking cool store, dude. Oh, my God. Yellow Rat Bastard. We could see Yellow Rat Bastard upstairs, then we can go downstairs and go to Spencer's, and we could fucking see if they have nipple gummy worms or some shit. Hell yeah. You know? And they had a GameStop right by the food court. The GameStop, that's where I pre-ordered and got and waited online for Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I used to go every day. I would pick up my then-girlfriend, and I would give$3 every day because I would save. My mom would give me$3 in the morning to get breakfast, and I wouldn't, And I would just eat breakfast at school because it was free.

1:06:52Joe Santagato:Way to go, Ma. And every day I would bring$3 that I'd go to the mall. And eventually, after a couple of weeks, I paid it off. And I got my Super Smash Brothers bra.

1:07:02Frank Alvarez:Wow. So, I mean, yeah, I don't have nostalgic ties to the mall. I respect it as a building because if we're going to do this, I'd like it to be contained in a building.

1:07:18Joe Santagato:all stores should be in a building in a in a like a contain a let's let's call it a confinement

1:07:26Frank Alvarez:well if we're going to make something insane where it's just like let's put as many stores as possible in one place like okay let's just put them in a building and we'll close it off so you're what you're saying no fucking windows what you're saying is you want to separate the

1:07:40Joe Santagato:stores that you like and don't like it's all the ones that you don't like in a building where they

1:07:45Frank Alvarez:can't get out no i'm not saying that i'm saying that like if we're like oh we're gonna do we're gonna shop and you want to put them all and you want there you want to be like a prison and there's and it's just gonna be no windows like i get it i respect the fact that the mall exists the the outlets are you know uh they're you pick a side be something like stand for something they are outlets they are they are the kind of middle like they are the clothes they try to be parks kind of

1:08:14Joe Santagato:It'll be like, oh, you want to shop at J.Crew? Here's the J.Crew factory outlet. Oh, and everything in here is 85 % off. And you're like, what the fuck? Yeah.

1:08:23Frank Alvarez:Where am I? I don't. Also, when there's really good deals at all the stores out of an outlet. I'm like, what's going on? I get suspicious. I do too. Like, I don't like this. I feel like I'm being, you know, someone's doing something.

1:08:39Joe Santagato:I agree. I think it's the closest I've ever gotten to feeling like I'm in the Truman Show. When I walk into a place and everything is on sale at all the stores I want to go to, I'm like, who the fuck did this?

1:08:48Frank Alvarez:Yeah, and also I don't like when the signs are bright orange, 80 % off. Everything must go.

1:08:52Joe Santagato:Now I just feel bad for you. I don't want to help you. Yeah, what do you think everything must go? I don't work here. You throw it out. Like the fuck? I don't want it either. No one wanted it. Yeah, I'm with you on that one when they're just like going out of business. Everything must go. And I'm just like, everything doesn't have to go.

1:09:09Frank Alvarez:And it definitely doesn't have to go home with me. Yeah, I'm shocked, Joey. I like that they're a little bit outdoors. I don't like that they're this in-between. Like, they like to be – they put trees. They like to be like a park or whatever. It's like, yo, you're a fucking mall, but not even really. Like, you're almost a mall. Yeah. Put a roof on this thing and call yourself a mall.

1:09:26Joe Santagato:Malls are cool, man, and I'm sorry that – I like a strip mall. I do feel that you have lost your way. I haven't. I do feel like that. So much of the American experience is going to a shopping mall. And I think we're seeing – That's terrible. I know. and we're seeing that now because all the people that are here for the world cup are like experiencing america yeah and they're like seeing a cheeseburger in a shopping mall and they're it's some poor norwegian person that's never been here before and they're like what is this yeah what's the mall called the american dream yo that place is you could surf you could snowboard you could surf you can go in a water park a full like i've been to a full water park there dude you went to the water park yeah a couple years ago we brought because it's like um they have a theme park a nickelodeon theme park and then a full fucking water park with like a lazy river and a fucking wave pool i can't i can't get behind any of this yeah i don't know about and then you could go outside and you could go and get a shirt from fucking yeah you know airy what is that i don't it's just a story the first one i thought of when i or like then you go downstairs and there's you know anthropology right or francesca's is that one of them

1:10:39Frank Alvarez:i don't think i could do a lazy river in a mall frank what part of me is going to a water park in a fucking mall yo to be fair it was kind of not the worst you miss out on the best part about

1:10:51Joe Santagato:being at the water park the sun i mean no the whole ceiling is like fluorescent lights like we're bugs it's like it's like a like a see-through glass so the sun is still coming in but you're in a fish tank, basically.

1:11:04Frank Alvarez:Yeah, and it smells like iguanas. I will say that. It does smell like an iguana. Bro, I went to that mall recently. I'm like, this whole place smells like iguanas. Dude, I hate the mall, bro. I love the mall, dude. But all the floors in a mall are a bathroom floor. And I don't like that. No, no. It's not charming. Although, the one that we went to in Texas, I was like, this is a nice mall. Guess what it was? A luxury mall. Apparently the mall at Shorthills. Was it? Yes, it was. It had a Rolex dealership. Yeah, that store. Dealership, like it's a car. But there was like a Lids. There was like not luxurious stores.

1:11:41Joe Santagato:So there are malls are doing now that I have seen. I'm keyed in on malls, Joey. Clearly. Is they're trying to transition toward being like half luxury, half like kind of like regular consumer stores. So like there's a mall I went to, which it currently holds the record for my favorite mall. um it it's it's what's so funny about that how far is the gap between first and second place

1:12:08Frank Alvarez:i'll do a better one how many malls are on this fucking list yeah at least five or six i've been

1:12:13Joe Santagato:to like four malls in my life the big mall it's called the king of prussia mall it's like half like luxury because think about the people that are shopping luxury in store are people of an older demographic so like uh-huh they have so they have like ysl rolex brightling chanel and then you go further down and you'll find your journeys right you know your color me mine

1:12:38Frank Alvarez:your you know fucking cinnabon i'll do i'll do i'll even i'll meet you here because it's not about luxury i went to recently the uh in um what's it called hudson why hudson yards hudson yards jesus um hudson yards like the vessel like there's like a mall in there and those are all

1:13:01Joe Santagato:like luxurious places didn't like that i but but man i don't know like apparently the mall at short hills is really nice i've never gone but apparently it's really really nice i can't do a mall i love malls because it reminds me of where I came from which is something that we all

1:13:16Frank Alvarez:need to hold hands and hold on I didn't come from a mall you kind of did you

1:13:22Joe Santagato:hear us you were birthed in the Queen Center mall you I was not remember how fucking cool we felt going to Roosevelt Field Mall just be like okay and we're

1:13:31Frank Alvarez:going shopping at Roozy yeah I went to Roosevelt Field Mall and you felt rich

1:13:37Joe Santagato:well I assumed that everyone there was rich and you felt like you're walking amongst them.

1:13:42Frank Alvarez:First of all, I felt poor going there.

1:13:43Joe Santagato:Well, because they had a lawn, they felt rich. The reality is, you laugh in their face now, bitch.

1:13:51Frank Alvarez:I've never liked a mall that has nothing to do with that. And we didn't grow up going to the mall. We did grow up going to that strip mall. We did. We grew up hanging out in the strip mall. That's fine. We would hang outside of a subway on a bench. That was like most of our childhood.

1:14:02Joe Santagato:That was. That strip mall was like a department, whatever, like whatever. It was Genovese, then it was Eckerd, then it was Rite Aid, then who knows what it is now then it was a pet store then next to it was a pet store right and then next to that was the entrance to the gym and then it was like the headquarters for like the iron workers union right and then it was subway and then it was king china oh no portobello portobello then king china

1:14:27Frank Alvarez:buffet now it's like a 99 cent store is it i think so i couldn't tell and then there was like a

1:14:31Joe Santagato:mathnasium that's where the teen club was yes that's where we used to go and fucking there was

1:14:36Frank Alvarez:teen club at the end of that 13 brother yeah dude you walk past subway a pet store where i used to buy a ton of crickets to get to the place where we would go shake our asses to go fucking listen

1:14:48Joe Santagato:to to to d4l yeah and sean paul and drink a shirley temple while someone weirdly overage

1:14:58Frank Alvarez:was there i would wear i would wear a button down that fit my oldest brother and not me yeah because i thought that's what you were supposed to wear 100 i would wear a shirt that

1:15:08Joe Santagato:elicited that that excuse me i would wear a shirt that assumed that i was a cocaine dealer right

1:15:15Frank Alvarez:to to to not not only a cocaine cocaine dealer but the best ever best the best cocaine dealer

1:15:23Joe Santagato:yeah like the one the one that had all of that snow man uh man i i i you know maybe maybe the mall is a thing for me i do feel like you were there more than you're giving it credit for

1:15:34Frank Alvarez:i really didn't spend that much time in malls did you do that you probably went to the mall a lot because you live near the mall we were a big part like when you said the mall wasn't part of your prep experience i believe you because that that was a big thing why i like the mall is because after prep we used to go to the mall all the time really yeah like the bus left you right there and then we would sometimes like kind of just walk but you live yeah well i live much closer like we We were near the mall. We had to, like, take the fucking bus to the mall. Or the train.

1:16:02Joe Santagato:The train went, the R went right to the stop, to the door. I've done that, too. That's what I used to do. I used to, after middle school, I'd get on the R train. But getting the R sucked. You had to take the fucking N to the R. The R sucked. No. Or I would take the bus to the R. My middle school was down the block from the R train. Oh, well, see, yeah, that's different. And then I would go. I'd meet my girlfriend there. We would hang out. And then I'd take the R train to drop her off. They left her at her school. I mean, at her house. Then I'd just walk home. Yeah, I mean... The mall, man. It was at a...

1:16:30Joe Santagato:And you don't remember the gay hairdresser at the mall? You remember the Queen Center Mall?

1:16:35Frank Alvarez:Wait, is that the guy who used to just spray you with shit? Yes! Yeah, there was a gay guy at the mall who worked there. Bro, look up Queen Center Mall gay... Is he gonna pop up?

1:16:42Joe Santagato:I guarantee he will come up. Queen Center Mall gay hairdresser.

1:16:48Frank Alvarez:There was this very notorious gay guy there who would sell... He was selling perfumes and stuff, and he would just let it rip on you. Oh, yeah, you walked by, you were getting it. It hit me in the mouth multiple times. I was like, dude.

1:16:58Joe Santagato:But also, like, it was just flat out doing people's hair next to the escalator.

1:17:04Frank Alvarez:That's what they do, the kiosks, man. Bro, when was the last time you were in a Sephora? Maybe within the last two years. Bro, Sephora is a battle zone, dude. Like, it's a battleground. Brother, Macy's. People are fucking. Sephora's insane because there's women everywhere. they're like everything's and it's just it's madness then there's three people getting their makeup done professionally in the middle of the store before you even get to the register also they have a wild return policy like you could return this thing like after you've used it they

1:17:39Joe Santagato:don't care yeah it's like what is the store macy's is the same way macy's you walk in and it's like the fragrance section you're going through like chemical warfare basically i feel that way about

1:17:50Frank Alvarez:Yankee Candle. I walked into one, I shit my pants because of the... My body didn't know how to process all of it at once.

1:17:56Joe Santagato:Not only that, Bath and Body Works, that's a store with a lot of smells, dude. The deeper you get into Bath and Body Works, the nerve endings in your nose are just burnt away. Because you're like, wait a sec, I can smell apple here, peach over there, vetiver over there, lavender, like you... It's all over the place. I do like Bath and Body Works. Dude, moles are awesome and they're going away, which also sucks, but also doesn't suck.

1:18:20Frank Alvarez:I used to fuck up bath and body works to be honest i would you know i had a streak of every time i walked in there i would accidentally spend 150 bucks really accidentally i would we would get we so before

1:18:31Joe Santagato:covid we went in like not thinking we should go and they had like for like they had dollar hand sanitizers that were 80 or 70 alcohol and we went and bought like 30 just to have and then we were like then kobe came we were like oh we're kind of okay because remember like wait there was no covid

1:18:49Frank Alvarez:and you ripped$30 hand sanitizers? Yeah, dude. Just like for...

1:18:55Joe Santagato:Because we would keep some in the house, some in Becca's bag, some in the car.

1:18:59Frank Alvarez:$30.

1:19:00Joe Santagato:Yeah.

1:19:01Frank Alvarez:That's a lot.

1:19:03Joe Santagato:I mean, but we...

1:19:04Frank Alvarez:You're huge on hand sanitizers.

1:19:06Joe Santagato:I love my hand sanny. Handy sanny. I don't know, man. And look, we're all better off for me doing that. And by we, I mean me. Right. Which, in theory, is also you and you. Yes.

1:19:19Frank Alvarez:sure all right um well yeah i guess i mean maybe i'm in the minority i'm sure people love malls but i i just i'd never really like the mall malls i'll ride for malls always unless they do some

1:19:31Joe Santagato:stupid shit there's a mall in jersey that sucks ass dude and they deserve to not be around anymore well why just because they suck oh well also food courts can go to straight to hell nah that's crazy dude go to hell i'm not even joking like i know sometimes you accuse me of like just like trying to bait you and rage bait you that is legitimately upsetting to me that's crazy that's like enjoying airport food you're like oh my god i love the airport no it's different it's it's it's the communal airport is a food court it's it's a communal experience airports try to appear like they're like restaurants but it's just it's it's fast food what is a food court then it's fast food

1:20:13Frank Alvarez:appearing as fast food. I don't know how that's better, but let us know in the comments if you think, if I'm just being too bougie and I don't like food courts or malls. Say it bougie. I think you might be. Maybe.

1:20:29Joe Santagato:But yeah, I guess that's all. Frank, where's he going to find you? The Frank Alvarez all over social media, patreon.com slash the basement yard and the basement yard everywhere.

1:20:36Frank Alvarez:And you can find me at Ant Prisco. And go follow me at Joe Sanagato. Go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time Beautiful

1:20:54Frank Alvarez:Should she say that about the kisses? Is that weird? She doesn't care She presses send This is the love story of real hinge couple Daniel and Roisin Written and read by me, Rufy Thorpe Listen to the free audiobook now