#563 - Choking Is Embarassing

13 Jul 2026 · 1 h 21 min · 30 chapters

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In short

The guys riff on embarrassing bodily moments (especially choking in an elevator), then spiral into choking/first-aid thoughts, diarrhea from an “explosive butt bug,” and a long tangent on food/cooking (Portugal pastries, custard, meringue/pavlova) plus joking about chocolate penis molds and sexuality. They also discuss World Cup travel vibes and language-learning in Europe, and plug sponsors/merch.

Guests

No guest appears in the transcript. Hosts are Dave Portnoy and Frank (with Ant absent “on vacation in Aruba,” “in spirit”).

Key claims

  • Portnoy/Frank argue choking is uniquely humiliating because you feel like “you’re the problem,” and they debate what help to give (Heimlich vs panicked “wrong thing”).
  • A recurring stomach bug/parasite is spreading since early May; they suspect it caused their recent food-poisoning-like misery.
  • Language familiarity helps in real situations: speaking Spanish to workers got food faster than English would.
  • World Cup fans abroad are mostly kind, despite U.S. “stupid/bad PR” stereotypes.

Notable examples

  • Frank aspirated water in an elevator, spit in a corner, and worried about being photographed.
  • They describe a crowded bar/restaurant where someone coughing would make them demand a new dish.
  • Portugal: making custard for pastries; discussing pastelinada/pastel de nata.
  • Viral “explosive butt bug” diarrhea reports; diarrhea blamed on bratwurst that was room-temperature.

Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.

Chapters

Tap a time to open that second in VO

The Absence of Ant and Banter

1:00 to 3:28

Hosts discuss Ant's absence and engage in lighthearted banter.

“I feel like it's not that high for you but he gave us these which we're gonna need because the AC broke duh Oh, yeah, the Wi-Fi's down?”

Merchandise Announcement

3:28 to 4:52

Hosts unveil new limited edition soccer jerseys and upcoming merch.

“Make sure you specify the.com because people might go to like.cock or.penis.”

Choking Incident in the Elevator

4:52 to 7:30

One host shares an embarrassing experience of choking in an elevator.

“I hate when that happens when like you drink like something super like with a very specific powering.”

Embarrassment and Choking Anxiety

7:30 to 9:46

Discussion on the social stigma around choking and related health anxieties.

Ear Itches and Bug Phobias

9:46 to 12:37

Hosts share experiences with ear itches and the fear of bugs.

“But like, ew, you freak, you're choking.”

Explosive Parasite Discussion

12:37 to 14:00

Hosts talk about a parasite causing diarrhea and humorous takes on it.

Unusual Ear Itches and Explosive Bugs

14:00 to 14:58

The hosts discuss strange bodily sensations and a peculiar parasite causing diarrhea.

Food Poisoning vs. Parasites

14:58 to 16:50

A discussion about experiencing food poisoning and identifying the cause of illness.

Memories of Manny and Portugal

16:50 to 19:01

The hosts reminisce about a friend from high school and share experiences in Portugal.

“Yeah, they had a good relationship with their dad.”

Memories of Manny and Portugal

19:06 to 19:34

The hosts reminisce about a friend from high school and share experiences in Portugal.

“FedTax pass-through may apply in Illinois.”
Show all 30 chapters

Culinary Adventures in Portugal

19:34 to 20:56

Discussion about making traditional Portuguese pastries and culinary experiences.

“Wait, so you were making food and shit like that?”

Meringues and Pavlovas Explained

20:56 to 23:07

Exploration of meringue and pavlova desserts, including preparation and cultural significance.

“It feels like a fucking, what's that called?”

Chocolate Creations and Artistic Cooking

23:07 to 24:48

Hosts discuss an online chocolatier known for creating unique chocolate shapes and designs.

The Ethics of Eating Chocolate Molds

24:48 to 28:00

A humorous debate about the implications of eating chocolate molds of one's own anatomy.

“Like I can look down at it, but the second we're eye level, I'm going to be like, well, why are you getting down to it?”

Chocolate, Relationships, and Gay Love

28:00 to 30:10

Exploring the humorous intersection of food, relationships, and perceptions of sexuality.

“I think if it's chocolate, and you can try it, but remember Spencer's would have gummy penises, or bachelorette parties.”

Introduction of Olipop Sponsor

30:10 to 31:59

Transitioning to a new sponsor, Olipop, and its benefits.

“I'm really going to stop you before that starts again, honestly.”

Patreon and Fan Support

35:48 to 36:21

Discussing the success of their Patreon and what patrons can expect.

“The new soccer jerseys, football jerseys are going to be available there as well as some other stuff that's dropping.”

Patreon and Fan Support

36:25 to 36:41

Discussing the success of their Patreon and what patrons can expect.

“and see if there are some shows available.”

Language Learning and Cultural Experiences

36:41 to 42:00

The benefits of learning languages and reflections on travel experiences.

“Let me ask you a question about cooking.”

Cultural Expectations and Language

42:00 to 44:36

The hosts discuss their experiences in the U.S. and the importance of learning languages.

Language and Communication in New York

44:36 to 47:26

They share humorous anecdotes about communicating with Spanish speakers and understanding cultural nuances.

Drones and Public Events

47:26 to 51:36

The conversation shifts to discussing a drone show at a festival and the eerie feeling it evokes.

The Lasso Debate

51:36 to 55:51

They engage in a playful debate about the feasibility of lassoing a person versus a bull.

“I just can't believe I don't believe in that.”

The Thrills of Trapped Adventures

56:00 to 58:38

Discussion about the concept of immersive adventure experiences with traps.

The Thrills of Trapped Adventures

58:52 to 59:56

Discussion about the concept of immersive adventure experiences with traps.

“So use the code basement 2026 for 10 % off of your SeatGeek tickets.”

Fair Games and Participation Trophies

1:01:18 to 1:10:01

Exploration of fair games, competition, and the debate on participation trophies.

“This is the most boomer thing that I've probably said in a very long time.”

The Debate on Participation Trophies

1:10:01 to 1:12:07

The hosts discuss the implications and personal experiences with participation trophies in youth sports.

“Like that's kind of just the world that we live in.”

Team Jerseys and Personal Experiences

1:12:08 to 1:14:38

The conversation shifts to personal anecdotes about team jerseys and childhood memories in sports.

“Also, I don't think you were allowed to pick a number.”

Umpiring and Childhood Memories

1:14:39 to 1:18:42

The hosts recount humorous stories about umpires and their experiences while playing in youth leagues.

“And he'd pull his mask off and his eyes were so red.”

Wrapping Up the Episode

1:18:43 to 1:19:34

The hosts begin to close the episode, reflecting on their experiences and interactions.

“I want to play baseball with our friends soon.”
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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00Dave Portnoy here. The wait is over. Football is here and so is DraftKings. DraftKings is now live in all 50 states. One app every sport nationwide. New DraftKings customers. Sign up with code SPOTIFY. Spend$5 to get$200 in rewards within 21 days. Includes all markets. That's code SPOTIFY in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 1-800-MY-RESET. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boothill Casino in Kansas, FedTax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21 and over. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in seven days.

0:40Or trade with DraftKings Predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable rewards issued as$50. Click to claim every seven days for 21 days. Terms at dkng.co slash offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability. Varies by state. Welcome back to the base.

1:06Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going, Frank? Very nice. I like that a lot. Ant's not here today. Ant's not here. He's with us in spirit. This is what he left. Don't make him suck your wiener, okay? Don't make him suck your wiener. He's on vacation. He's on vacation. He's in Aruba. He's having a good time. Maybe. I mean, he did post yesterday because the picky boys, I don't know if it's going on when this comes out their fucking Mario Kart subathon and he's like training brother you're in Aruba yeah just go outside let the sun hit ya you'll be alright if you would ask me for 20 things to do on vacation how many of them do you think would involve a video game you?

1:50I feel like it's not that high for you but he gave us these which we're gonna need because the AC broke duh Oh, yeah, the Wi-Fi's down? He's blowing us. Ant's blowing us right now. Ant's blowing us this episode. Ant's blowing us. He can't do anything. Well, all right, you be Ant. I'll be me. Okay. Okay. Hey, Ant, you're blowing us. All right. I mean, that's not absolutely, you know. Also, take a look at this. Look at that. This is, listen, for the World Cup limited edition. Para los Copos de Mundial. We made soccer jerseys. Okay. Studios FC. See, it says Studios Football Club. Got a little thing here.

2:35We have two of these, which means we won two World Cups. Oh, is that what that means? The Stars? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. We have won some stuff. We've, I don't, yeah. We're sexiest podcasters of 2024. That's what that signifies. And the other one was Best Ensemble. Best Ensemble. So we have won two World Cups of very specific niche topics. But we made these soccer jerseys. They're fucking awesome. They are limited. And we have a whole new merch operation coming also. That's going to be a lot of fun, a lot of cool stuff. You can go to Santa Gata Studios right now. Santagatastudios.com right now.

3:11There'll be a thing at the bottom where you can put your email in, put that in, and we'll let you know when all the merch is coming out. But these are coming out July 13th at noon. All right? Oh, shit. That's like soon. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I'm excited. I need them for the World Cup. I'm not only excited, I had one of those drinks that you got and I'm like, ah! You got some caffeine? I got a little bit. Ant's not here. Those are really nice. It's santagatostudios.com. Make sure you specify the.com because people might go to like.cock or.penis. No one's going to do that. I don't know. Because those aren't websites.

3:45I mean, they might be. Is that a website? .cock? .penis. Look up if there are any... You want me to do that? I don't know. I'll do it. What do you want me to do? All right. What do you want me to type? Look up. This is what happens when it's not here. Look up something.penis. Whatever you think. But it's the dot at the end because there's.org,.gov,.com,.co, which whatever. The Wi-Fi is down. I forgot until right now. We can't look anything up, by the way. The Wi-Fi is down. Something's going on, I guess. back to our roots of being able to just make an assumption about something and be confident that it's the truth and it is the truth because no one can say it's not because there's no one in the room schrodinger's cat right you know it's both the truth and fake at the exact same time exactly so who cares we're back this is the og basement yard now yeah let's start let's go back to your roots start speaking like you're hispanic don't say that start speaking like you're hispanic so like sluts is like they'll be wild with them titties okay we're moving on now bro i will tell you this something embarrassing more embarrassing than that recently uh this was yesterday i got in the elevator and i had a water bottle and there was like a couple of people in the elevator with me and i went to go drink it and i like aspirated and you know when you do that so like you're like basically coughing in your mouth and you have something in your mouth you're like choking on it like goes down the wrong pipe type of thing yeah you kind of have that moment where you're like am i just gonna spit this out or am i gonna try and hold it together yeah i'm around a bunch of people i should have been like gonna just hold it together i ditched i spit i but i spit i spit organized i spit like in the corner because i was standing in the corner and i was like and then oh those are the worst yeah it was because it's like also my eyes are going because i'm tearing and my face is turning red who were you in the elevator with strange humans yeah but like age like that that does make a difference if you're in there with like an old broad oh there wasn't old bags with me but there were people that i don't i mean there was like for the most part everyone in my building is around the age of like 30 to 55 it's tough honestly because those are the people that are going to make fun of you they're gonna be like i saw that guy from the basement yard in there and he was choking and he couldn't swallow i spit it all over the ground and i took a picture of it too let me see do you want to see it i kind of do i mean it's just a it's just a puddle in my shoes but you're but you're with the people next to you and they're like not only i didn't take a picture of them i know but i'm saying like not only is this guy choking and just organizationally spitting on his own shoes but but now he's taking a picture of it.

6:35They all were like, are you okay? And I was like, yeah. Runk pipe. Yeah. I hate when that happens when like you drink like something super like with a very specific powering. Yeah, dude, that it looks like. It's the water. It's not like a small amount of water either. That's a good amount. Because I was in the middle of drinking. So it was like the third gulp and then the third gulp was just kind of like, like hit me in the back of the throat. I hate when it does that with like a super flavorful liquid. and then you taste that liquid like a like a hyper concentrated form of it that ever happened to you i don't know like that's happened to me when i've had like orange juice like i'll like it'll go down the wrong pipe and then my throat just tastes of orange juice oh it's like oh yo this is orange juice though yeah exactly like it's like it's orange juice the orange juice yeah it's like it's in your bloodstream now or something that's tough but but you were okay yeah yeah i mean uh physically yes emotionally damaged and embarrassed is it people that you had seen before or since i honestly like don't know i i kind of like in elevators i'm not like a take a look at everyone like i could very well get in the elevator with someone that i know and i wouldn't say anything yeah because i wouldn't know that they're there i'm kind of just oh you're just in your own zone yeah i i imagine that at that point everyone around is just like what a fucking piece of shit this guy is i think they were thinking that and a part of me was debating on like do i like kick this around like a dog you know what i mean like when a dog when a dog like moves the dirt like i'm like do i like move this out of the way you fucking you know yeah i didn't know what to do choking is one of those things that like i have the approach of like people are kind of victimized by mental not mental but like health issues like something will happen to them like they they get they get the cold or something like that choking is one of those that it's just like i'm the problem if i'm choking i'm it's so embarrassing it's so that's why that i think you should leave uh sketch that they did was so funny where he's choking in front of the the like celebrity yeah but like it's one of those where like if someone like falls or bangs their head or scrapes their knee or or or gets sick or something like that i'm like oh i feel bad for that person when i see them choke i'm like figure it out quickly or i'm hoping i'm rooting for the choke um unless unless it's like a real choke like it's like a then that's terrifying i don't want to be around i don't want to be around because i part of me wants to run away i'll be i've ever seen someone choking like that but like i would like to think that i would be heroic but i just don't know if i have it i'd be too afraid of doing the wrong thing because apparently the heimlich's not a thing anymore oh no dude i'd be fucking beating this person's backup really yeah yeah i mean if if if someone else is there then i'm like oh my god i want to get away from this if they're like if i they need me help i'm going over there obviously and i'm trying everything dude i'm like heimlich and i'm slamming their head i'm fucking yeah i'm giving them like just Just put him in like a fucking abdominal stretch and just punch their stomach.

9:36Put him in a full Nelson and just start kneeing his spine and shit. Like, I'd be terrified, man. I just, I don't know. Because I would be fighting my nature. Where like, I want to help and I want to make sure this person's okay. But like, ew, you freak, you're choking. The only choking that I don't like is... What's that? Like when people are like, they like clear your throat. It's like... And it's just that. and it's like you can't get rid of it, which I sympathize with the fact that you may have that. I think I told you on the show that someone had dinner. I'm not, Frank, not an exaggeration, not me being whatever.

10:12Nicole was there. 45 minutes. And I wanted to be like, step out. Step outside and figure this out on the street. Choking is one of those experiences that it's not, you're not the only person experiencing that medical situation. It's everyone around you. Also, restaurant. Like there's food, people are eating. You're coughing. step out or go to the i mean if you're in like a like a booth or like something like i don't think it's that bad but if you're in like a crowded restaurant where the tables are like the people that are sitting like right here i'll say this if someone coughs and they're sitting right there to me i'm asking for a new dish they've coughed on my food tiny uh it's a small restaurant but also we were all sitting at the bar so he was sitting at the bar facing the bartender he was he was two people down oh that's that's that's too close yeah oh oh i'm like bro figure this out yeah i drink something but even that sometimes like i've had it where it's like it's not working so i'll just shove my finger down my throat and like try to break up whatever it is just in case i can do that let me ask you a question do you think that i'm five years old and i'll just believe everything you say i don't believe that for a second you need not believe it for it be the truth who is this it's true is this you've never had i've had popcorn recently you shove your fingers down your throat and you mix it up like you're snake in a toilet yeah i mean there have been times you know um like the the like shell that is on the kernel of popcorn sometimes the kernel no no but it's like it's like the outer layer it's like a it's like a film that goes around it i i have gotten a piece of that stuck in my throat and i'll go down and i'll just break it off and pull it out sometimes like you're first of all can i say something without you getting offended no you're a whore what no gag reflex whatsoever goes down there just fiddles around and gets things out honestly i don't know what it has been lately i've been gagging lately uh i should in the gay way or no no no no i mean uh in the brushing my teeth way so you're not gagging you're like gagging well no isn't that like or you're gagging here's the what's the gag no no no isn't that like a wendy williams kiki palmer thing wasn't that the clip she was like the gag is right you weren't there i've seen those so it wasn't gay gagging it was not it was like which is different than sexual gag duh dude yeah duh which one were you doing i was brushing my tongue oh like lately i i have like 10 seconds and then if i go even a second over that it's a yeah so but lately it has been a little bad but seriously if there's something like on like the like in there oh if i could break it up i'll try to break it up because sometimes you could like feel it right there and you do that thing where like yeah does that even try to like inch it up the back of your tongue and stuff like that there was a kid i used to know he would stick his pinky in his ear and then like his tongue would be like it looked like on this side of his mouth and then would make a weird sound and i'd be like what is that i think the fucking in the mask jim carrey does that when he like can't hear and he's like oh yeah you know i don't i don't understand people's like horniness with itching their ears or something i do get that sometimes because sometimes it feels like a piece of earwax kind of like falls into my canal a little bit and then my ears get kind of itchy because i'm like is my voice vibrating and it's like itching my ears so i start smacking right here i swear to god i do that because i'm like i gotta get this thing out of there this hurts dude yeah no no no it's back here oh it's like right behind my ear because that's what it feels like bro the ac is broken here i'm gonna be a fucking puddle by the end this yeah we'll be good but i i literally just start smacking my smack your gills just to kind of loosen it up yeah i smack my jowls it's getting hot it is getting a little toasty in here all right i didn't know i'll have to try that next time because i've gotten like itches in my ear where it feels like it's like my brain that's needs a scratch yeah but like i normally i do some stuff like i do like like i'm on fucking pcp you know what i mean like i got an ear itch well i start doing that too but then i start convincing myself that it's a bug and i get real scared that that has happened speaking of bug you hear about this fucking explosive butt bug that's going around yeah there's other ways to say it for sure um but yes i do know what you're talking about there's a parasite going around that gives you diarrhea and i just want to say to this parasite i don't need you to show me how to shit like that right i can do that all on my own i don't need this parasite appreciate it it's a it's a chivalrous parasite just like let me help you out here yeah like it's nice to have an excuse as to why there's diarrhea but like i don't need you dingle dangle cha-cha-cha right family says well there was a day that we recorded and we got lunch and the next day i was like i must have gotten food poisoning i think i texted you like that day or there or a couple days after i was like yo i think i got food poisoning because like i've been in shambles all morning and like for the whole day like i just i felt like shit like i felt sick and like you were in ruin i was in ruin i was i was basically a rubble of a man like athens frankie rubble yeah like like athens parts of it yeah the parthenon

15:28but and then a couple days later you had you said like i must have been the bratwurst i had at this bar i went to which was in hindsight a mistake i mean did it taste good it was room temperature so it wasn't even a hot well the thing is like i went to this place that's like a pop-up it's for the world cup they show like the games there so it's not typically a place where they have food yeah it's like where they have food or like drinks even like they set up bars and stuff so i went there the line for the drink i literally got there for the usa game i forgot where they're playing but they uh i got on the line with like seven minutes into the game i didn't get my drinks until halftime so i ordered food when i did that and then when the food came eventually warm it was already like it was kind of room temperature that's so i was like i'm gonna but i mean it's already i got it's a cooked hot dog like you're it's bratwurst like you're you're fine but it turned me up you thought it was the brat it wasn't it's this fucking ass bug well we don't know i think there is a we can now say with comfort and security that it might have been that we can say with comfort and security that it may have that we could say with the utmost confidence that it might have been that yeah i mean is that not science being able to say like i am confident that it might be this answer maybe yeah i don't know but dude it's like going around like and it started at like the beginning of may and people are like just reporting it now it's called like chloris is propetus or something like that oh i knew a a kid in high school and then named greek guy oh yeah what was it chronis it's like stan popolis something like that chloris isstopolis or something yeah that dude sad owns a diner owns a diner he also owns three burberry shirts that he wears on rotation yeah yeah you know yeah and he calls himself a greek god and he has an omega symbol tattooed i can keep going well you can i should i no all right um but uh you were gone you were in portugal i was in portugal i will say when you do that i know you're kind of joking but you are saying words i think i do the pie is like i remember our old friend used to say that i think to his dad are we sure we know what it means hey dad oh maybe i don't know i mean well do Did they have a good relationship?

17:56Yeah, they had a good relationship with their dad. You remember Manny? Yeah. Yeah. He was Portuguese, and he would be like, Oh,

18:04he's still Portuguese. He is, yeah. I spoke to him like a couple of months ago. Really? Yeah, he's got like kids and shit. He's doing all right. Wow. Yeah. Look at that. We went to, there was this kid that we knew in high school named Manny who was Portuguese, and he was the only person that we knew that was Portuguese, so naturally we know everyone that is Portuguese now. Right. You know? but yeah so you were crushing it over there yeah had a couple of wines had a couple of uh pastelinada pastelinada yeah it's i went we went to a class dave porten are here the wait is over football is here and so is draft kings draft kings is now live in all 50 states one app every sport nationwide new draft kings customers sign up with code spotify spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days.

18:51Includes all markets. That's code SPOTIFY in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MY-RESET. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boothill Casino in Kansas, FedTax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21 and over, void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in seven days or trade with DraftKings Predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable rewards issued as$50. Click to claim every seven days for 21 days.

19:26Terms at dkng.co slash offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability. Varies by state. That's where you make them. Oh! What was that? That's what they say. Oh. Wait, so you were making food and shit like that? Well, I just went to a class and we made those. Pastelli dollars? yeah and we uh we've like made the custard and shit which by the way the process of making custard is kind of gross isn't it just like cold cream that's like beaten and i was beating cream for sure yeah and like you do it over like ice right well you do it over heat and then you take it off the heat eventually and then you're like you know what kind of custard was it vanilla uh whatever the yellow one is it was like kind of lemon there was we put lemon we put a cinnamon in it are you starting to go back and you're liking like lemon pastries now um no like they're not my favorite i don't like i don't like um like key lime pie i'm like i've had legit key lime pie when we were in key west and it was like good it's not like what you expect like where it's just like that's lime but it's cold like it's it tastes it's more there's more depth to it than that what's the shit called the thing that used to look like my old hair what's that called a meringue yeah the meringue why do they do so much of that let's get more cake in this dude the french are i know you weren't in france and i know we're not talking about the french i'm gonna bring them up though because they came up with meringues i think did they they're so up their own butt about food dude about meringue dude they love meringues out there i'm good and they're like we're going to touch it i don't know who that was that was literally not an accent that exists in the world well we are going to test this meringue that's better that's better yeah a little bit better yeah but i don't know do you ever see the like paste they're like desserts but they're like hard meringue and you like isn't that called something yeah isn't that a it was the shit that you spit all over the table uh um uh fuck what was that called pavlova pavlova yeah yeah no that's that's like a cake that's like a cream and fruit is it because I thought that was like hot.

21:36It feels like a fucking, what's that called? Silicone. Silicone? Yeah, like pavlova. Pavlova, I think it's like a dessert dish. It's not like the thing. Well, whatever is part of that. The thing that you spit all over the table. I don't like how you're saying that. Really? I know I spit it. I didn't like how you did it with your actions. Because I was sitting across from you getting hit with debris. All right. Can I fucking talk now, please? Oh, yeah. Now we got to get off it. this is from sally's baking addiction what is that a website website because i refuse to use like gemini ai answers is a dessert popular in new zealand and australia give me an accent is a what a dessert popular in new zealand and australia oh all right all right it's not as common here as in the states uh made from egg whites that are slowly baked into a relatively cool oven egg whites just a lot of egg white shit it's mainly fresh whipped cream and piles of fresh fruit in like a cake like that's a pavlova yeah oh so i don't even know what i'm talking about that i mean i think meringue is in there somewhere that's what the egg whites are yeah yeah have you ever made one in like a in like a really fast a mixer yeah yeah they're cool and they're like they're good when they're peaking i mean what does that mean like if it comes to a peak like oh kind of like shaving cream oh i'll tell you like they're edging like meringues to be like they're good when they're right there we don't go too far um what are the when you're cooking and they got the white the white when they folding yeah but the the tool i'm talking about the utensil like the white rubber where you're like a rubber spatula is it i mean they're they're i've seen them rubber spatulas so that thing right that it looks like kind of like a dolphin's face you know not a beluga whale's face kind of you know what i mean kind of you know what i mean kind of for some reason when i see those i'm like those are delicious because i always like i'm talking about the utensil i find delicious i chewed on one um but i find those amazing because when i was not amazing but like when i was younger and my mom would make cake she would always just like hand it to me and i would lick it yeah because it would have like which in hindsight i'm not supposed to be eating raw egg mom um but now whenever i see one i'm like whatever's on that i want to lick there's a guy on tiktok that makes like pastries but he'll make them out of like he'll he'll make like his own like uh jellies and fruit syrups and stuff like that and he has that thing where he just fucking scrapes and folds and it just fucking shits on itself and stuff like that you know who i'm talking about yeah that's his night or the guy that makes his chocolate he basically he'll be like i'm gonna make a chocolate baseball bat but he'll make it look like a butthole yeah yo that guy's incredible what he does mad good but also he's a chocolatier he's he definitely is but also very horny dude yeah yeah well he's not he like yeah he started throwing that horny thing in like later on really like at first he was like yo i'm just about to chocolate but now it's like we're gonna make it look like a dong before we get it to look like a super mario or something you know that's the exact one because uh i was scrolling one day and like ruby saw like the guy like melting chocolate and this caption said like for the super mario galaxy movie and i was like all right let's watch this and he's making like a full asshole and like fingering the butt and i'm trying to show ruby a chocolate super mario yeah i'm like yo dude take a nari take it easy i will say i think that it does add to the the retention of the video because a part of it it's like two videos in one because in the end you're going to get something like you know it's like a train set but in the beginning you're like is this a squid getting sucked off or something and then he and then he starts painting and you're like oh okay oh i didn't i didn't get that at all i thought i thought i think i think he's trying to like lean into like i can make some cool stuff with chocolate but i'm gonna make you i'm gonna peak you yeah yeah you know while i'm doing it it's like i'm gonna clickbait you a little bit with like some some potentially vagina looking stuff definitely would you ever like get like a chocolate like mold of your face or something there's also hell yeah you could do like chocolate molds of your asshole and your penis i saw that and i mean you could definitely mold your your uh your ding dong for sure yeah i've seen those i've never done that though i've never have either but like how i would i'm just afraid that when it's done and i just like put it down i'm gonna go now let me ask you the age-old question here's the age-old question i don't know that i want to see it detached from me that's fair that is super fair like i i've gotten to know my penis as a part of me, seeing it like over there, I'll be like, yeah, you know, yeah, exactly.

26:17Exactly. Like I can look down at it, but the second we're eye level, I'm going to be like, well, why are you getting down to it? You mean like it's on your plate on your table? Like here, it's like closer to my eye level, but I'm looking like, I'm looking down. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess. But here's the age old question. And this is a serious question. Have you ever looked up at your penis? Have you ever looked up at it? up how would i do that like i'm hanging upside down like a what why would i be in that position i'm just saying have you i don't think so should we do that not together i mean go into the other room i'll close my eyes and just give me an idea of what the other room that he's pointing to isn't a room this is one room no there's a wall there a wall here there's curtains over there where you guys film opl you can go behind the curtain i guess i'll see it i'm not gonna do that Why not?

27:06Because I don't know that I want to. I was just asking if you have. I don't think I have. I think for dexterity purposes. By the way, this is a weekly episode. We're fine. We're all right. Ant can't stop us. It's fine. They can blow me again. I think you should. I think you should go behind this wall, lay on the concrete ground. And just look up. And just look up at your wing. My wing. I think you should. I mean. You're not going to. I'm not going to know. Okay. um the question i was going to ask the age-old question yeah if you were to get a chocolate mold of your penis yeah and you eat it right are you gay hell no okay i ate my my flesh real penis in my dream yeah but that was a but that was a dream that wasn't like actually happening i'm gay because i'm eating my own chocolate dick no i i agree i mean i i don't I think if it's chocolate, and you can try it, but remember Spencer's would have gummy penises, or bachelorette parties.

28:08I would eat those, I don't care. They'll be like, woo, we got pasta, and it's shaped like a cock. Yeah, I would eat that, I don't care. You don't care? I mean, I just wouldn't, you know, I don't think it's gay unless I take this chocolate thing, and I make love to it all the time, and I marry it, and I am in a relationship with it now. Then I'd be gay. Okay. That's not where I thought it was going to go. What did you think I was going to say? I thought you were just going to stop at the eating it, but then you went on with a full-on relationship. I mean, yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, I mean, I probably – Gay is about love, baby.

28:37It absolutely is. Love is gay. Gay is love. We all be loving gay. How about that? Gay is about love. It absolutely is. Snapped right into it. I got called out by a gay guy. Just stop there. Okay. No, I don't want to – Eric Cedeno, he does the – I did the Wild Wild Web podcast, and he posted a clip of us talking on the show, and he's like, um you did the thing where it was like word association years ago and you said gay and i said me and i was like yeah all right you know but uh he called you out on that he was it was a joke we were like it's like gotcha journalism uh but the internet kind of ships us as like gay icons guy guns guy cons i don't think we're gay icons i think that we're gal eyes i'm big gala i do yeah i mean just take the g out of it i'm an ally all the way because if you just say there's the g you're forgetting the lesbians, the B, the T, the Q, the I's, the A's.

29:32Are lesbians not gay? They're gay. I think they are by act gay, but they wouldn't... By act? Yeah, what makes you gay is going through with it. I don't know. I was thinking by act, I was thinking of a play. No. Which act? Act two lesbian is gay. Yeah, I was like, which act is this? I have a lesbian friend. I can ask her if she considers... Let's get that lesbian on the horn and we're going to figure this thing out. We're going to misbust this thing. Misbust it. Is that what I said? Yeah. I think that all lesbians are gay, but not all gays are lesbians, just like frogs and toads. I'm really going to stop you before that starts again, honestly.

30:13We do have some sponsors for today. This one right here. How you doing? What a lovely sound. I'll try it. I'm getting Kareem'd here. don't say anything um we have a new sponsor on the podcast which is olipop olipop is amazing okay this stuff i have a fridge separate from my actual fridge in my apartment it's stocked with olipop rich guy it it's stocked with olipop i love it um but it is great you know instead of having like other sodas that are like super high in sugar and all these calories you have these this one in particular 40 calories the biggest thing about it and this is why i'm a big fan of olipop uh this one has six grams of dietary fiber okay need your fiber there was like a study that came out that not a lot of people are getting their fiber intake so right here ladies and gentlemen okay get that uh but olipop it's amazing um it is full of flavor and digestive health support so it'll support you it says it right here uh on the thing supports digestive health that fiber it's going to help you out and it tastes really good this is cream soda nostalgic for me love cream soda frank's got a root beer over there big fan of that as well these are two these are probably my faves i'll be honest when they're like we'll send you a pack which ones you want i'm like send my favorites here root beer and cream they're the best didn't ask about my favorites um they're high fiber less sugar than traditional soda um functional ingredients real ingredients all right so um But yeah, they are great.

31:52But you can get a free can of Olipop. Buy any two cans of Olipop in store and we'll pay you back for one. Okay? But you can go to drinkolipop.com slash basement right now. It's also available in stores. So if you want to go to any of the aisles where they have like the drinks and whatnot, you'll see Olipop there. Pull it off the shelf. Okay? I'm an Olipop truther. When other people were jumping ship and trying to go to other ones, no, I was here all day. Olipop is the one. It's got the fiber in it. It's good for you. Having the fiber is good for you. Get in your body. Someone call you the Ollie Papa.

32:24I'm the Ollie Papa. The Ollie Papa's here. Ollie Papa. Prince Joey, fabulous he, Ollie-a-Papa. That's good. That's really good. That's great. Wow, I like that a lot. Get yourself some Ollie Pop. Go to drinkolipop.com slash basement. And what else do we got here? We got Factor. Factor has meals built around your goals, whether that's weight loss, overall nutrition, protein, whatever you want, they got it for you. But they have these meals. Every meal is crafted with functional ingredients, lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole foods, healthy fats, things like that. They also ban over 175 different ingredients.

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33:4626 see website for more details so again go to factor meals.com slash basement 50 off and use the code basement 50 off to get 50 off and free daily greens per box with that new subscription all right hey guys man um i want to talk to you about patreon whoo i'm sorry i can't do it honestly uh patreon it's me it's frank i want to talk to you about patreon come on over i'm gonna put my arm around you my proverbial my actual it's a literal arm around the proverbial you sorry i've had caffeine patreon.com slash the basement yard you guys you fucking little rascals you got us to over 50 000 paid patrons oh my god i could scream right now but it's very hot in here and i might pass out thank you guys so much that has put us on the leaderboards i think we're like three in the world and overall patreon you guys are absolutely crushing us the support is so incredibly amazing and we are seriously eternally grateful thank you guys so much if you are not a patron Go over to Patreon.com.

34:43Take a gander. Go take a look. There's different tiers there. Find the tier that works for you. That first tier, you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. So if you see the clip, you're like, oh, my God, that must be from a new episode. Where can I find it? You can find it early on Patreon.com. And then that second tier, you find exclusive episodes. Oh, dirty, filthy, rotten, fucking exclusive episodes every single Friday. So there's never a week without us. You're going only a couple days at most. three days, four days, and then with Santa Gato Studios a couple days, at OPL a couple days.

35:14Listen, Patreon.com is where you can get more of us and more of us quicker, which some people like. Whatever. That's their prerogative. Go to Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. Check it out. Thank you guys for getting us to over 50 ,000 paid patrons. Seriously, we want to continue to give you guys what you like, which apparently is more of us. So, thank you. And if you're going to do it and you want to save yourself a couple bucks, don't use the smart app. Go and do it on a web browser, okay? That way you can save yourself some extra money because the tech overlords are going to want to take some extra money from you if you use the app.

35:44So patreon.com slash thebasemyard. Thank you guys so much. And as Joey mentioned, sanagatostudios.com is going to be our new hub for merch. Go check it out. The new soccer jerseys, football jerseys are going to be available there as well as some other stuff that's dropping. We're really excited for it. We hope you guys are too. So sanagatostudios.com and... I'm sorry. There's just so much to get to. I've got work to do. Live shows. We're back. We got some live shows lined up for you. I can't, as of recording, speak to what is still available, but if you go to thebasemanyard.com, you can click around, see if we're coming to a city near you, and see if there are some shows available.

36:27There are some places where we added second shows, so go check it out, thebasemanyard.com, patreon.com slash thebasemanyard, at Senegato Studios. Do your homework. Type away. Back to it. Yeah, buddy. Let me ask you a question about cooking. We were talking about it before. Because you were making the expo studio in time. Yeah, we're making a pascal de nada.

36:53By the way, this happens to me every single time. This is a different topic, by the way. Every single time that I go to Europe and I come back home, I'm like, I hate the fact that I can't speak another language. It drives me insane. I mean you could you can use like apps to I've done that kind of learn it's just it's just I fall off and I don't it's a lot to keep like it does help for sure but like and I I know like a decent amount of Spanish so I'm like I just want to like a part of me is like maybe I'll just like hire a tutor and like once a week talk for like an hour I think that like it can only benefit you one because you travel two like learning a different language it it it kind of boosts your brain activity and keeps you fresh and stuff like that it could be pretty cool like you i mean oh my god if i was fluent before you that would be insane i mean i don't think there's a reality where i'm fluent in anything i'm barely speaking english properly at this point um i could see if i were you though i would do spanish and italian because those seem like more too they're very closely related sure i mean like well the reason i even brought this up because while i was in portugal my driver for one of the days we like hired a driver to take us to wineries responsible good job also hills good job um he didn't really speak a lot of english english which everyone there spoke a lot like a follow portuguese yeah yeah which is what i isn't that doesn't mean i don't speak portuguese that means speak portuguese oh oh now follow now follow yeah now follow portuguese yeah that means i don't speak but he uh he was trying but it was tough and he was like speaking portuguese and i was just like fuck because usually like if someone's doing that and they're speaking Spanish, I can understand them for the most part.

38:34But I was like, damn, dude, I got nothing here. Do you ever feel like a filthy American? Frank. All the time? All of the time. I'm embarrassed to talk out loud. I just want you to know this is a byproduct of this. Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation plan b is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like doordash no id prescription or age requirement it's the number one obgyn recommended brand of emergency contraception and it won't impact your future fertility that's freedom to be use as directed the the world cup being here the rest of the world is seeing that yes our country is insane but the people are mostly good and kind dude i have been crying so hard at these videos did you see the one the the the guy from belgium crying or germany i don't remember which is them well i'm not confusing the places i'm i don't remember if the individual was from germany or belgium but the flags look similar i please don't please i'm not if anyone gets i don't want to offend anyone over there oh i'd like to offend belgium first of all fuck belgium we play them i know we do so now i'm over it so man they beat they knocked us here's the last time that we got last time i believe it was with tim howard i saw the picture like the graphic the other day i think it was 2000 and well that was not the last world no because they didn't make the last right right it was the one before that which i was there i was at rockies when that happened and there was a there was a two things this is gonna be good this is gonna be really good the last time we played belgium i think i remember what the story there was a uh little person yep dressed as uncle sam uh-huh standing on the bar uh pouring shots into my mouth uh and uh that was one thing that happened a lot and then the other thing was there was a girl there and she said if the if the u.s wins i'll show everyone in here my titties yeah and uh we lost uh she did it anyway she let it rip anyway which i think that the bar appreciated because it was like it was a somber moment let the record show i hated that bar rockies so i was not there um but it was a great vibe for the u.s game i but like what has been happening is like for those that don't live in america let me explain something to you we are insane but we are mostly good people but a lot of us are also really stupid and people confuse the stupidity with being bad I guess at certain points you can blame stupidity for being bad but you're seeing these people at the World Cup traveling here in North America and it's like they're just they're having good times because like for the most part people are nice but there's also a lot of stupid people well we just got bad PR we do I mean I mean but the PR is also been put in the position because of some of the stupid people and i'm not saying all people that vote a certain way are stupid i just think that they refuse to acknowledge that maybe they're wrong i'm disconnected from the point the point um i i see what you're saying i'm saying like because i've seen people saying that too where they're like you know i think that i had expectations of what the u.s is going to be like and it's like completely everyone's super nice it's awesome and blah blah blah people say that about like new yorkers too where they're like you think that they're so mean and this and that but everyone's been pretty uh accommodating and whatnot so yeah i think the point that i was trying to make is that like yes as a country we are sometimes often what the caricatures depict us as giant hamburgers a trash can of nachos you know beer that is measured by feet yeah you know not by you know uh volume or the 10 foot beer yeah let me get a nine foot beer case but like we are also when you get to see some of the people pretty nice yeah you know but the point that i was trying to make originally is i think that you could and probably should just just pick up a language i know i i don't want to make i don't want to spend your time for you because i know you're very busy and you work a lot but like in your spare time if you could just scroll and try to learn something i do i do do you like so what is the three languages you'd want to learn like legit three is outrageous i want to learn i just want to be like i want to learn uh spanish okay like i because that's the one that i have experience with so i'm like i want to just get better at that to the point where i can be very conversational so when you when you yell at hispanic people in new york you know what you're yelling at them well when i yell at spanish people no more than anything i feel like with the way i look if if you go into a place and this actually happened at the uh where i got the bratwurst but the food was taking forever and some of the workers there were spanish dudes and uh daniella was there marco's wife yep and she's columbian and i was like yo you should start and she's like yeah because she she's like as she went over she's like i'm gonna ask them where the foods at and then she came back i'm like did you speak to him in spanish she's like yeah well yeah because like then we got it immediately if the whitey comes up to the hispanic workers in the kitchen and they're like excuse me hola donde esta mi comida like they're just gonna be like bro fuck this person yeah but if you go up and you're like in you're in the club yeah and they'll just be like all right you know because there's a shared experience yeah yeah you know that's why when she walked over and talked to kim i was like you speak to him in spanish she was like yeah and then he came right back with the food i was like if i walked over and said that in english there's no way i i try to uh like it depends i i don't get that opportunity a lot but actually miles called me out for it the other day we're like you're gonna kill me oh my god is this karen frank no it's not karen frank it's the opposite it's new york frank uh where we went to the Yankee game and it was like a Hispanic dude that like at the gate of the parking lot and I pulled up and he's like you got a pass I was like yeah no problem big dog and Miles was like who is that big dog no problem big dog Miles was like why did you do that I was like you don't get it it's a New York thing dude you're from Jersey you don't get it so it's like he's like you got a pass big dog problem big dog Big Dog is great and then him and Becca were making fun of me and they were just like uh oh here's New York Frank but like it is like if you're if you're from the place and you can be in the club be in the club you might get treated like a little bit better because they'll just be like oh here's another guy with jersey plates coming but it's like no I'm from we're one and the same dude you know what I did twice in a row I don't know why I did this honestly i think that is whatever we're not moving but we went and looked at an apartment recently and just because we were like ah like for fun whatever and we we went and saw this place and i called the guy when i was outside and he picked up and he said hello and i said how's it up like that and he said and i was like oh where yeah we're outside right yeah then we're waiting outside then he opens the door i did it again how's up i don't remember there was like two different versions of it but it was basically that i was trying to combine like three different greetings at the same time i did that the other day and i accidentally i was gonna say um like oh what do you do you know like i was meeting people through like the work opportunity thing and like he was like oh what do you do you know like for work you're like what's your role and how's it going so i asked how do you do well that works i know and i stopped and the guy was just like uh i'm good yeah but like how do you do is hilarious because it's like yo this is mad british yo mad british and like it's people that knew uh like know us yeah so like they don't expect to hear how do you do how do you do you know at that point i had to fully like yeah buy into you gotta wear a top hat all right i think you should learn spanish yeah um you're going further which it doesn't but like if you're with spanish you kind of can pull off italian and like probably adjacent portuguese dude i'll tell you this that language doesn't feel very similar to spanish at all really at least to me which like i i have a basic understanding of spanish so like there are certain words that i guess look similar but there's a lot that's different yeah i wonder who are the the portuguese like conquered by because that's what that's you can trace the lineage of like the language that way like because like the spanish in south america they were like conquered by spain you know yeah so like what is portugal who are you asking me who was portugal i do not know that you'd be able to figure i imagine it was like the italians or the spanish and it just kind of moved into its own dialect i do know a little bit of italian and sometimes that messes up the spanish because like they are similar yeah so like sometimes the words feel the same but yeah they're from what i remember learning spanish they're some of the words are like the exact same words just pronounced differently you know what i gotta start doing just like watching shit in spanish and like listening to spanish like you gotta just like immerse yourself you can't you you won't be able what do you know i'm not gonna understand what are you gonna watch the telenovela no but yeah not that um but like i think that would just help to be hearing it all the time i don't know isn't that what people do isn't that how babies learn they're just around it they are that is weird isn't it some babies could just be around spanish speaking bro you know what i was thinking about walking around portugal i'm like that dog knows portuguese yeah the dog the animals it screws me up too because i'm like it's not a it's a it's the same dog that we have over here but it just hears portuguese yeah like it no but it knows a language you know what i mean yeah that's kind of weird me up do you see cool dogs over there didn't see a lot of dogs to be honest really no birds birds brother hella birds they're flying around and singing yo one night went to uh because it was um it was like a festival over there that weekend but i went to dinner and we were sitting at this table that was kind of like half outside half inside type of thing and there was a river right behind us and there's uh just like an area with a lot of people kind of like hang out just like shops and shit like near the water yeah and in the middle of the dinner all these fucking drones showed up and it was like a drone show oh where they like they start spitting out purple smoke and i was like what the fuck that's kind of cool bro i was scared drones are scary because they're too lined up like they're lined up perfectly and i'm like a gun on this is we're all dead you know what i'm saying yeah i mean i you're you are at that point you're at the mercy of those drones and and like they're so small and they're just like all they're just it's very uniform like they all move together and i'm like i don't like that yeah like it feels like too yeah i like the government's here like stepford wives remember that that that movie yes where like they're all like it's like what's going on here yeah i just was like oh god these drones are fucking like you know i would rather it be i wouldn't like that i've seen like people do like they do like drone shows at like disney and stuff now where it'll be like oh look there's you know moana in the sky and it's like i don't understand that it's cool but like well they can just sync up the drones and i'm sure write a code so this one goes there this one goes there this one goes there i know that's freaky but then it's like yo i don't know like this is like if they had a lot more of those what would we do i mean they have a lot they do they have a lot i mean i'm sure and we do use them in a in a warlike in war fashion yeah so but i'm just like i it kind of freaked me out like i'm sitting there and i'm like i'm just yeah i'm not just at the mercy of the drone you absolutely are and at least you know that where do you where do you even hide i just got my drone just behind a locked door yeah yeah in the forest you know they can't get through those trees i'll just walk around with nets that's a great idea or like that gun that shoots a net oh like the big one that like it shoots out like that is that real i can't imagine it if if you're like a dumb ass deer or something it's real you know what i don't believe in that if i'm being chased by a cowboy they might get he can lasso me get the fuck out of yo if anything there's no way you're probably easier to lasso than a fucking bull or any other animal because you're running your fucking pencil you're running like this and they just get it around you and then pull it I would like to...

52:13I just can't believe I don't believe in that. I'm kind of on board with you, but the minute I take a second to think about it I would be lassoed very quickly But do you think that I can't juke a lasso? Like if we were in like a Well, here's the thing. You're not juking a lasso is you would have to juke the horse that the lasso-er is on. Which you ain't doing that, brother. I could juke a horse you could juke a horse i think i mean they're definitely joey you're not fucking ladenian tomlinson you're not juking a horse is it hard to juke a horse i'm not trying to pull you here but like how hard is it to juke a horse i mean i imagine because like if you ever see they're not like going side to side like i've seen horses when they like kick up their back legs they can kind of like whip them around a little bit like they're their ass they don't run like that brother i think you i don't think you're you're you're juking a horse and i think if there's a cowboy on it with a long ass rope they'll they'll for sure lasso you i'd be i honestly would be like astounded if i'm being chased by a guy on a fucking horse and he was able to put this lasso around me and then hop off the horse and hog tie me what the fuck here's the thing i am both on your side and off of your side i am i believe that like i'm not getting fucking lassoed but also like i said you're you're a five foot ten individual running like you're running straight up if anything they just got to make a rope wider than your shoulders i guess it is about the big circle it's about the circle and it like falls like but here's the thing down on you and then they whip it i know but they have to get that timing right because with a bull all you do got to do is get it around its head and it stays there but that's i imagine harder to do than a human because a bull is running like this and here's the head you're running like this brother so you just need to get it down like that i know but once it starts going down yeah i don't know what do we know any fucking cowboys i don't know any cowboys or cow persons i don't i want to make sure i'm being incredibly inclusive there yeah they could be whatever they want to be i really want to step in one of those traps where it's like rope on the ground and you step on it and it just fucking i do have a question yeah yeah I want to be trapped.

54:27I love booby traps. Dude. Like, I'm not going to lie. I'm obsessed. When I was younger, I was obsessed with two things. Booby traps and lava. Yeah. If you got me around a volcano, I was picking it up and playing with it in my hand. Yeah, bad idea. I am. I want to be trapped. Trap doors. I want to be trapped in some capacity. In a cage. But like, just for the sake of me, just call it a booby trap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, don't call it like, oh, this is an old timey, like, prison trap. I don't know. But like. give me a boobie call it the boobie if i'm walking through the forest and something catches my leg and hangs me upside down uh scared but love it i love when they love the creativity when they like walk over a pile of leaves and it's just a giant net that closes in and brings them up i would pay money to go on that i kind of would too we should we should come up with a business idea for like an amusement park or a section of an amusement park where you're just getting trapped in things like kind of like legends of the hidden temple but of its traps oh i'm not no you know why not it's called traps yeah i don't know that you can enjoy anything without trying to turn it into a business listen man every time you have something that you like you're like let's just make money off capitalism am i not so you're right about the americans capitalism yeah i mean capitalism is a disease i i have been forced fed the thinking that i have to turn anything and every hobby i have into a money-making opportunity even getting trapped dude trap doors you're gonna tell me if there was an experience where they're like yo 60 bucks you walk through a 20 minute like walk through like kind of like halloween horror nights or something like that those like scary mazes But you'll get fucking trapped But you'll get trapped But then it's over The first trap's got you No, no, no You get trapped For like 10 seconds You're like, whoa And then you go on to the next trap Right Come on Hey I don't Now I don't hate it It'd be a trap door into a slide That'll bring you to the next room Ooh, would you go on one of those Those water rides Where you're kind of like in the thing And they shut it And it's like the floor falls out And you slide it out One million percent I would do That looks so sick We At Splish Splash we went on like that really really tall one yeah that shit is great oh i've not been on that were you not with they had a smaller one that i did oh you were the one that's 150 feet in the air i'm like good really yes i loved it i can only do something like that if i like if there was no line so i didn't have to think about it and i could just go up and just go oh but like if i have to wait in line waiting if i'm standing in line waiting and then you're going up slowly and like yeah we're getting higher we're getting higher like a freak what doesn't help those rides is the buzzer to like you can send the next person just sounds like you know what i mean like they didn't make it yeah like make it like woohoo next up or something more inviting than yeah you know what i'm saying a woohoo next up well maybe you should hold on to your ideas for a second we do have some more sponsors here we have a couple more here the first one being hymns all right hymns uh hems they're gonna help you out okay it offers a convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work including chews oral medication serums and sprays okay uh prescription strength um prescription strength ingredients like finesse right and minoxidil can help prevent further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months um but yeah you shouldn't have to go out of your way uh to feel like yourself so they're gonna to bring the expert care straight to you.

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1:00:47So it's all about putting that money back in your pocket. And you can do that right now by going to rocketmoney.com slash basement. Okay. Rocketmoney.com slash basement. Put the money back in your pocket a lot of people are saving money doing this um you know even um just to be more financially responsible and know where your expenses are and make sure being intentional about spending your money so you're not overspending in certain areas when you could be saving it all right so go to rocket money.com slash basement right now and also they have a lot of premium features as well to help you get the most bang for your buck so rocket money.com slash basement enjoy that um i actually saw something that you kind of you brought up something that made me think of it before but uh last week in our county one of the towns was doing a fair like a fair like you know rides and shit like that have you ever like done one of those like games where like you have to throw the ring on a bottle or like pop balloons with a dart yeah of course bro when's the last time you did that oh when's the last time you went to a fair like 10 years ago really okay no i stopped by one to get deep fried oreos hell yeah this bro i face fucked a funnel cake fuck yeah dude and got oysters which was a crazy thing to get it mixed you went to a fair and got oysters i went to a fair i got a hot dog mr softy and oysters and i ate them in that order hey what's going on with your body how are you even alive today does your stomach not look at you and go what are you doing here's the thing my stomach can't hurt if it always hurts it's at a baseline of hurting so like torture i damn right it is baby you're you mr softy a hot dog and oysters so we went a couple days which honestly i one day i had two hot dogs six oysters a shrimp cocktail uh nachos empanadas mr softy and a funnel cake whoa that is so like it doesn't count if you're at a fair because you're walking the whole time hmm that's an interesting theory that i think is not true i yeah but like it's like when you're on vacation calories don't count on vacation right if you're at a fair same exact thing exactly you know what i'm saying the point that i'm trying to make is they had those like carnival games you know like the boardwalk games whatever they are like yeah spray the water pop the balloon yada yada bro you don't win anything anymore they have signs on it that says this is a store and you pay for whatever prize you want and then you can just play the game

1:03:32isn't that insane goddamn lives have ruined boardwalk no that's crazy i i like what's the Just to get the thing. You don't even need to play. You can just say, I want that. I don't mean to be... This is the most boomer thing that I've probably said in a very long time. Nobody correct me. But isn't that bad? For a child? I mean, I think... That you could just get it. Just get it. Get the biggest thing. I think it is. And yes, I agree. I was fighting my nature because there's a part of me that's just like, all right i'm sure this has something to do with gambling and like that's not good for kids at that age to experience what's gambling if you're paying to play a game that you might lose like to get a stuffed fucking dog or something no that's not gambling you're competing i i think that the justification is that they are probably saying that it's something with gambling like same thing happened with like oh now we don't love gambling this country i mean apparently not New Jersey?

1:04:37Apparently not. But I saw it. It had a sign on it that said, this is a store. And each of the things that had like a price. So like if you want that stuffed animal, it's$20 instead of$10. So you pay$20 to play. You play the game and you get the stuffed animal. That's outrageous. I kind of agree. That's outrageous. Are we being boomers if we're just like, you kind of need some competition back into it? Of course. That's the whole point. I was, I could not believe it. I felt like, oh, maybe I'm just old and washed up. I feel like it's fun to be competitive and to earn it. I agree. You're raising, that's like a, you know how people complain about rich kids or silver spoon type of thing.

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1:05:20It's like, how is that different than that? When it's just like, well, we could just buy the thing and this doesn't matter. Yeah. It's like, you don't have to earn it. We'll just buy it. It's like, what's the fun in that? I completely agree. I could not believe it because it made it cooler. Like no one's going to care about this fucking like. Was that, was it, so if you won though, you didn't get it for free? No. That is weird. I can see the middle ground of being like, they're not like advertising it. And they're being like, you know, if the kid wants it, he could buy the thing. I just like kids like cry and you're like, oh, I'll get you the fucking.

1:06:00i could see it being cool for like certain games like we had the girls play a game where it's like you have to pick up rubber duckies or something and like you win something based off of getting three special rubber duckies i understand that at that age but like if i'm a 15 year old kid i don't want to buy a stuffed animal that kind of sucks right the fuck am i gonna do with a stuffed animal is this not becoming like i'm not one of those people that's just like now everyone get your participation trophy but this is an example of like you're vilifying competition yeah i don't think that's cool a little competition you know it could get intense i'm wondering how you feel about the participation trophy thing me yeah um i think that i think you can honor someone like you can reward someone for seeing something through and doing something i don't think there's anything wrong with that especially when we're talking like little league sports and stuff like that but you also then within that need to establish a hierarchy of like what the competitive aspect is getting you so like if everyone gets the exact same trophy even the winners of the league or something like that I don't know if I agree with that yeah but like if it's just like hey little Joey congratulations you did it you saw it through you played in all the games I'm proud of you here's a trophy to show that you completed a task I think that's fine I think it's fine as long as it's not you won that well that's why i think it should be like the winners of the league get the big fucking trophies yeah like if you yeah like get something i guess yes like you need to reward the i guess that is a participation trophy i think i think we're saying the same thing like i i don't well i don't know if we're saying the same thing i don't think that i guess this is because how i grew up i don't think there's anything wrong with like someone winning and someone losing i also don't think there's anything wrong with like second place and third place like that being rewarded similar to the olympics like people win bronze medals and they're fucking super excited i agree i fully agree and depending on how many teams are in the league but like that's still like a good thing i think it's okay because if we're talking kids like if we're talking for like little league sports i think it's okay for them to commit to something and to be rewarded for that commitment i.e.

1:08:19participation trophy which has become like a hot topic fucking word to say nowadays well i think in the way that maybe it gets conflated with everyone gets the same thing but that's where i disagree yeah me too and that's where i think that like there should be a reward for winning doing better than somebody else well i guess also the question that i have now is like let's say first place gets a trophy which when we were growing up i think that was it first place would get the trophies and that was all i think i think so i i vaguely remember sometimes where they would give out like remember those little like in plastic cases like they looked like little metals on a ribbon oh yeah give them out if you were like good at english yeah you know like great job in language arts class here's a little fucking metal um but like in the kids who like what is why do they need something physical to be like you know like because if we're in agreement that like if we're all playing in a baseball league and we're all eight years old you know or 10 whatever uh and the people who win get the trophy because they won they beat everybody they should get that why would everyone else need one like what is the what is the the positive that we're getting from doing that i think it's the idea of your rewarding like you're you're kind of encouraging the participation and like for kids to step out and do something like that so like but isn't there isn't if they got through it already like they've already gotten through yeah but you're it's kids Like you can't just be like a pat on the back is the same as a trophy.

1:10:04Like that's kind of just the world that we live in. It's a physical good that is going to like make them feel better about doing it. I really don't disagree with that. I think that the reason that this idea of participation trophy has become such a hot topic conversation in the world of sports, specifically like Little League, is because people believe they're conflating it with like, if if everyone does it they're all on the same like equal playing ground which is not the case and i don't think i've ever seen that as the case and if it has happened again i don't agree with it but i think it's okay to like have a physical thing to just be like good for you you did this yeah yeah you know i was hyped with the t-shirts first of all a jersey loved that dude if i i mean i was good with the jersey that's why i'm pumped about those jerseys because it's just like this is ours you know there was uh yeah these jerseys i i i you like that i feel like back in the day i mean i think i did like when you're really young playing sports at least in my experience and i consider myself a pretty competitive person i don't think i really cared about winning as much as i cared about like just hanging out oh i cared about winning but like super young not super young super young honestly i don't even remember caring about doing it i just remember doing it that's what i'm saying like i liked being on a team because it's like i get to see my friends and we're like playing yeah so like that's kind of what i cared about so like i don't i didn't i don't think the the intense competition came about until we were like 12 yeah like before that it was just like oh sports then i cared yeah i can't i mean maybe a little younger than that honestly that I did care about winning um but also I mean I was also the type of kid like I don't want this fucking second place shit I mean I don't remember caring that much but like once we became like like I said we would play with like football and we had our own jerseys and stuff like that yeah but that's what I care no one's giving out participation of 15 year olds right I don't know maybe maybe that's outrageous to me I mean I I really don't know but you know what pissed me off though when they'd be like oh your team you're the yankees this year and we're like cool we're the yankees they give us our shirt and it just says elm jack and on the bottom the back it just says rocco's pizzeria and it's just a blue jersey yeah and it's not even a jersey it's just a shirt it's a navy shirt like you're like damn it god damn it give me one with the hat though right you could you could get a hat but sometimes they were just like standard blue hats or like i sponsor a team at iceway pss i know studios i know that's saying i didn't know that my nephew is playing again this year because my sister was like maybe we'll play in a different league so he's not on the sanagato studios team really oh shit so he's going up against uncle joey yeah he's on a different team now so by us i've seen that like they have more like swag for the kids you know like they'll have like the team actual like team shirt and then on their back it'll say their name and their number oh wow which was so fucking cool when we were kids we didn't have that Like I said, it was like whoever sponsored it, it would say Senegato Studios or Rocco's Pizzeria or Astor Pharmacy.

1:13:14Also, I don't think you were allowed to pick a number. Yeah, it was just like. I think they printed like one to ten and you got one. Basically, they were just like, we have a medium, kids medium, and it's number four. You're number four now. Right, yeah, exactly. What size are you? And it was just here. Don't even know what number you are. Yeah, bring the shirt back. And if you don't, just wear a blue shirt. Yeah. I remember one year I had gotten for Christmas, my mom got me a personalized white socks jersey of all teams. For why? I liked Joe Creedy. You like Joe Creedy? Dude, it was when they won.

1:13:49They had a sick team. It was like Joe Creedy and I liked them. And the all black with the socks on it, it's such a sick jersey and she got me one. and then like a year and a half later my my fall ball league was um i think they called it snowflake was we were the white socks so like i was showing up to my little league white socks game wearing a custom white socks jersey that said alvarez 80 on the back you're playing fucking second base with number 80 yeah i mean i was not playing second base i was not that good i was a catcher or an outfielder which means yeah you did play catch i played catcher and then i played it until i stopped playing in like high school i was jealous dude i wanted to play catcher dude catcher is so sick and i actually got good at it and then i i haven't played i just thought it was cool to like be wearing like armor dude it was cool i felt special because they'd be like two outs i'd get walk to first base then i'd steal second and i'd be like there's two outs i'm the catcher they need to pull me off the field so i can get my gear on and then i'd fucking waddle out there and shit like that or you'd be someone be in the on deck circle and you'd be what's that called by the way when you're not in the on-deck circle but you're in the hole in the hole um but you're in the hole so you're still wearing the knee guards and you're kind of like you're just like practicing and they're like all right you're up and it's like i gotta take the knee guards off yeah yeah yeah she was cool i did yeah i thought it was cool we had growing up our uh our baseball league did you play ice with b uh as a little little kid and then and from like older years it was elm jack so the umpire at the league that i played in was allergic to grass.

1:15:27Who? This dude, Frank. Oh, I remember Frank. He had the eczema. I remember Frank. He'd pull his mask off. He'd be like, bro, that was outside. And he'd pull his mask off and his eyes were so red. Like someone put lemons in there. He was in rough shape. And it was hard to argue with a guy who's clearly going through it. Dude, there were at Elm Jack. I remember Frank. That's so funny that you brought that up. there was two umpires at elmjack that i remember one was named gene he was like an old white dude and like gene's a great name to yell at someone come on gene dude a really good yellable name yeah and then there was like a like 16 or 17 year old kid named kenny okay and i would catch and he would he would call you know he was the ump yeah and i would fucking let this guy have it i mean like kenny you're an idiot you're so stupid come on gene yeah you gotta put it together like no no dude did i ever tell you i umped one game at elm jack at elm jack i umped one game in the like i think it was a bantam did you hate it did i never told you this story no i umped one game and i got like 20 hell yeah because hell yeah and it was like the nine and ten year old kids so i believe that was like the what we called bantam and the rule was like you call call the game how it is but if someone throws four straight balls, like the count is 3-0 and they throw a fourth ball, you expand the strike zone and they have to throw two more just to make it a little more competitive.

1:16:58That's a lot of balls. I know. And one of our friend's younger brother, I could say it, I don't give a fuck, Coco was on the team. Yeah. And I called him out on a strike. He got rung up. And I was having the time of my life. Stay! you know like oh man i was having so much and he turned around and he was like suck my fucking balls suck fuck you yeah dude and like by the way this is a med's brother yeah yeah a med's brother coco and he's like bro frankie fuck you it's a nine-year-old yeah you suck my nuts so i'm like yo dude you gotta chill and he's he going off tell me suck my balls fuck you you dick licker you know like he's going off on me so i'm like oh i gotta i gotta throw this kid out of the game you did so i threw him out of the game yeah you're out and then like remember it was the field that was all the way on the other side yeah so me walking back to like after the game to like tell the fucking people that work there like this kid got he's gonna get he got thrown out of the game because of this and he you have to suspend him one game and a med's mom is following me like please don't tell them he's so sorry and Coco's on the other side suck my nuts fuck you yeah yeah because that's how serious we took it is like yo that shit was legit yeah so like I I got his mom being like I'm so sorry but you're family like please don't and I'm like walking and then I got a nine-year-old telling me to suck their nuts on the left that's hilarious I'm like 14 or 15 years old I'm not much older yeah so hearing suck my nuts at that age is it's like war.

1:18:36Yeah, it was crazy, but that was such a good time. I want to play baseball with our friends soon.

1:18:46That's really funny. I want to play baseball with our friends soon. Dude, you don't want to just play baseball. Dude, yeah, I just want to play catch. Dude, I played catch in my backyard a couple weeks ago with my brother, and it was so fucking fun. Catch is great. It was so fun because, like, it's just catch, dude. I love the smell of a mitt. it's coming in i'll find myself randomly walking through the house taking grounders like i'll like come into the kitchen and i'll just be like and fact is like get your hand on top what are you doing get your hand on top she's like what are you doing and i'm just like i'm popping up yeah no it's amazing um well listen it's a billion degrees in here and we are going to pass out and have a heat stroke uh but thank you guys so much for sticking around for this episode.

1:19:36Ant, appreciate all the blowing. Ant, where can they find you? Ant Brisco. Don't fucking actually give him. He decided that he wanted... Oh, by the way, he's not here because Joey fired him. I didn't fire him. Yet. But this... This actually feels really good. I heard this makes you hotter, though, because you're burning energy doing this, and then when you stop, your heart's going up. How much energy could I possibly be burning doing this? I don't know. but thank you guys so much you can find us at uh the frank alvarez and at joe sanagato all over social media at the basement yard all over social media check out patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard the new merch store sanagatostudios.com and the basement yard.com if we're coming to a city near you there might be some tickets still available or there might be tickets available in cities that you might want to go and check out you never know go check it out at the basement yard.com thank you we love you and uh we're gonna go take a cold shower together nope see you next time Thank you.

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