In short
The episode is a comedic discussion about shyness, travel, and food/drink preferences, especially “spritz” cocktails and gelato flavors. The hosts debate what “shy” actually means, comparing physical behaviors (rocking on feet, wanting not to be looked at) and whether they’ve ever truly felt shy. They also talk about an award they received (iHeart Podcast Awards “best duo,” though the trophy says “ensemble”) and a first family vacation to Turks and Caicos, including waiting on the tarmac, going in the ocean, and snorkeling where one host felt uncomfortable breathing through a snorkel tube and feared being surrounded by fish. They then argue about spritzes: Aperol spritz is called overrated; the Hugo spritz is described as vodka, elderflower liqueur, Prosecco, sparkling water, and mint, and is praised as refreshing. They finish with a gelato/ice cream deep dive: differences between gelato and ice cream, and ranked top flavors (salted caramel, cherry, New York cheesecake, cookie butter, brown sugar, stracciatella, hazelnut; mint chocolate chip is heavily criticized).
Guests
none; only the three hosts (Joey, Frank, and Joe) appear.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOUnderstanding Shyness
0:29 to 2:48
The hosts discuss the nature of shyness and how it manifests in their lives.
“You don't act normal when you're shy, I guess.”
Personal Accounts of Shyness
2:48 to 4:06
The hosts share personal stories about moments of shyness and what triggers it.
“Shy is one of those words That like We've used it so much But I struggle Being able to Accurately define it Shy?”
Award Discussion
4:06 to 6:03
The hosts celebrate receiving an award and discuss its significance.
“If we're thinking of shy in terms of, like, I kind of associate shyness with, like, there's an inability to put yourself out there.”
Vacation Stories
6:03 to 8:08
Discussion about a recent family vacation to Turks and Caicos and the travel experience.
“That, for those of you guys that may for some reason not know, we received an award at the iHeart Podcast Awards for the best duo in podcasting.”
Snorkeling Adventures
8:08 to 14:00
The hosts talk about snorkeling experiences and the excitement and fears that come with it.
“At one point I said out loud, I need to get off this fucking plane right now.”
The SeaWorld Concert Debate
14:00 to 15:00
The hosts discuss the ethics and appeal of SeaWorld hosting concerts.
“If we did a show for an aquarium, I would be like, this is cool, but there is something here that's scary.”
Slogan Ideas for SeaWorld
15:00 to 16:00
Creative and humorous slogan ideas for SeaWorld are proposed.
“I have, if there are any anti-SeaWorld companies looking for a slogan, I got one for you.”
Ocean Adventures and Parasailing
16:00 to 17:10
The conversation shifts to ocean experiences and activities like parasailing.
“I imagine they do it because there's cool things about.”
Family Vacations and Resorts
17:10 to 18:20
Discussion about family vacations and the nature of resort experiences.
“Did you have a day where you're like, I'm getting everything on the menu?”
Pina Coladas and Frozen Drinks
18:20 to 19:30
The hosts share their experiences with frozen drinks, particularly pina coladas.
“Is there a reason why you're saying mint mojito?”
Show all 31 chapters
The Resurgence of Mojitos
19:30 to 20:50
A nostalgic look back at the hosts' love for mint mojitos and cocktail preferences.
“Because that sounds like a drink that came with like a cigarette put out in it.”
Exploring the Hugo Spritz
20:50 to 22:30
The hosts discuss a drink called the Hugo spritz and its ingredients.
“And Chloe Grace Moretz and Ben Kingsley and Sasha Baron Cohen.”
The Controversial Nature of Rhubarb
22:30 to 24:00
A humorous debate about the safety and use of rhubarb in drinks and food.
“I don't like rhubarb because it's literal poison, if not prepared and given to you the right way.”
Adventurous Eating and Puffer Fish
24:00 to 25:30
A lively discussion about trying adventurous foods like puffer fish.
“The actors that were in House of the Dragon.”
The Artistry of Drink Making
25:30 to 27:00
Debate around the balance of artistry and practicality in cocktail preparation.
“Made with Cynar Don't know what that is Flavor with artichoke leaves?”
Bartender Arrogance and Cocktail Crafting
28:00 to 31:24
A discussion on the intricate balance of artistry versus arrogance in bartending.
“I am saying they can have the artistry behind it, but when they don't have the wherewithal to realize, like, this is ridiculous, I'm making a drink.”
Bartender Arrogance and Cocktail Crafting
31:45 to 32:40
A discussion on the intricate balance of artistry versus arrogance in bartending.
“I think that it's very important that people do it.”
Bartender Arrogance and Cocktail Crafting
33:58 to 34:31
A discussion on the intricate balance of artistry versus arrogance in bartending.
“Seven whole days ahead of people that are non-patrons.”
Gelato vs. Ice Cream
36:50 to 42:04
A lighthearted debate about the differences between gelato and ice cream, including personal opinions on flavors.
“No, yes, it works for other people that are...”
Ice Cream Flavor Debate
42:04 to 43:44
The hosts discuss their favorite ice cream flavors and why certain flavors stand out.
“Also, I'm looking at right below her, brown sugar.”
Taking a Stand on Flavor Preferences
43:44 to 47:05
Continuing the ice cream conversation, they express strong opinions on various flavors and their appeal.
“I honestly wouldn't even consider that anymore.”
Heavy Hitters and Underrated Flavors
47:05 to 48:45
The hosts rank classic ice cream flavors, debating what constitutes a favorite and the representation of flavors.
“Unfortunately, the fourth would probably be like mint chocolate chip or some shit.”
Pies vs. Cake
48:45 to 52:45
The conversation shifts to pies, with the hosts sharing their thoughts and experiences regarding different types of pies.
“Mint chocolate chip is the biggest fraud in the world.”
Exploring Pies and Bakeries
58:45 to 1:02:09
Join the discussion on different types of pies and favorite bakeries.
“And the slogan is it's about the crumpany you keep.”
The Great Cream Pie Debate
1:02:10 to 1:10:04
A lively conversation about the merits of cream pies and various flavors.
“I'm not saying I'm contributing to that.”
Milkshake Bars and Nostalgia
1:10:04 to 1:11:33
Discussing the charm of milkshake bars and nostalgic elements of childhood.
“It looks like Jackson Hole, but it has candy.”
The New Willy Wonka Show
1:11:34 to 1:13:01
Exploring the Netflix Willy Wonka contest and its features.
“I think it's called like the Wonka contest or something like that.”
Chocolate Experiences
1:13:02 to 1:14:57
Discussing the joys and experiences related to chocolate bars and candies.
“Because we've had like one year for Father's Day the kids got me like a s'mores kit and it comes with like thing like the Hershey bars in it.”
Scary Kids Movies
1:14:58 to 1:17:56
Debating the lack of scary elements in modern children's movies compared to the past.
“Such a good name and looks like a fucking slug, too.”
Monster House and Animated Scares
1:17:57 to 1:18:49
Discussing the animated film Monster House and its impact on kid's horror.
“You know Monster House, you're not getting that stuff no more.”
Hannah Montana's Cultural Impact
1:18:50 to 1:20:16
Reflecting on Hannah Montana's influence and memorable songs.
“Mitchell Musso from fucking Hannah Montana?”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:28And we're back.
0:56Welcome back to the basement yard. Hello. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. We sang before. Are we putting that in there? We should. No, no, no, no, no. Do you? I mean, I could do it again. Actually, I probably can't. The lights are on. What could that be? It's whatever I want it to be. Was that you do when you're shy? I guess it was a little.
1:19You don't act normal when you're shy, I guess. You're just like. Something's just like. No? All right. Don't look at me like I'm an idiot. I'm taking it in I guess. How would you do shy? Quiet air. Yeah, just not making a squealing noise. You don't got like a... Well, what was this? Why'd you go Rizzler there? What was this you making over there? You little piggy? What was that? That wasn't my noise. I squealed. I'm not necessarily... Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, with the pig. You squealed. But like that's not necessarily a noise I'm making. That might be the noise I'm hearing in my head. Like, ooh.
1:58Like leave me alone, you know what I mean? You are making the noise, though. Yeah, but I'm doing it to convey it to you. Oh, you're saying that in your head. In real life, like, ask me to be shy. You want me to just ask you to be shy? Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm doing. Be shy. In my head, it's the squeal. Is that physically what happens when you're shy, though? I'll be honest with you. I can't remember being shy ever in my life. I think when I'm shy, I rock back and forth on my feet. Like, I go from the tips to the heels a lot. What's the last time you were shy?
2:33I don't know When I'm shy I'm just like Just don't look at me I don't want anyone to look at me I don't want to be bothered I'm going to ask a really weird question And I hope you guys will follow me here Sure Shy is one of those words Welcome back to Facebook now Shy is one of those words That like We've used it so much But I struggle Being able to Accurately define it Shy? Yeah like do you know what I mean by that There are some words that We use we know We know what they mean but like If you were to ask me to define it I don't think I could Because I think that The word is like what it is It's kind of like shy is the word For that act like you're like Yeah but Uncomfortable still it's just like I can't define it I know it You know what I mean It's the word I think that's why because like shy is like the definition is the word itself yeah but it's like an uncomfortable unfamiliar so you're like reservation yeah you're like being more conservative like you close you start closing a little bit yeah yeah I guess it's just one of those things but like I can't remember the last time I was shy I think the first time I met Becca I was a little shy but after that I can't I feel like you're not a shy guy I'm not a shy guy you're not a shy guy not a shy guy Like, I remember feeling a little shy the first time I met, but, like, I had to play it up like I wasn't.
3:59You know what I mean? You haven't been shy since then? I find that hard to believe. I can't think of when. I don't know. It probably happens in moments. But, see, like, shy. It's not like a year of your life. Yeah, I was shy back then in 2008. If we're thinking of shy in terms of, like, I kind of associate shyness with, like, there's an inability to put yourself out there. like i don't recall ever you've never been in a room where it's like i don't really know anyone in here it's kind of like so there's like a shyness there i guess i don't because i guess in that regard i feel more compelled to want to to like instead of being like i don't know anyone here i'm gonna kind of go in my shell i feel more of a like all right i guess i should probably meet people open up yeah yeah you know what i mean open wide you know but there's a shyness in the beginning it's kind of like oh i don't know anyone here and you're like uh but then you gotta like Yeah, maybe.
4:54Yeah, you know, you get in, you don't know anybody, you're like, Hi, you know, hi. And then you're like, Hi, I'm Joel. Hi, I'm Frank. Yeah, yeah, that's a very, like, 90s way of putting shy. Like, Hi, I'm back here. Frank, you just went like this and squealed like a little pig. The squeal was internal. I don't know why - Squeals out-ternal, we heard it. You heard it because I was doing it for you and our audio listeners. Do it one more time? Oh, like with the external sh - Yeah, let's go. With the shriek. Those weren't shy eyes. Yeah you're like horny eyes No way A little bit No way I don't think you guys have ever seen my horny eyes When would you ever have seen those?
5:35I mean I have I've been at a restaurant with you when the creme brulee comes out Honestly That's a really really great point But that's a different horny That's like a food horny But like shy is like a
5:53Now that we got that stuff Okay I'll tell you It might not be shy But it's shining Look at that little thing You got back there Look at the award That came baby This is a big basher I could kill someone with that Brother You app Why have you immediately Thought of that though Just because of the weight of it It is super heavy Like if someone came in And was like Give me all your money And I beat them over the head With this They're dead Be really honest with me About something Would you have liked it less if it came and you were like, this is kind of light? Yeah. I would too. Because it would feel like cheap.
6:27Exactly. But she's a heavy bitch. She's got some weight and girth to her. She's robust. That, for those of you guys that may for some reason not know, we received an award at the iHeart Podcast Awards for the best duo in podcasting. Well. It says ensemble on it. I know it does, but we have to make sure it's duo. Oh, wow. I'll scratch it out. I'll scratch that bitch out. Frank doesn't want you involved. That's not true. I love that you're involved. I guess I'm very appreciative and I tell you that often. I gotta cover my fucking ground because I make one joke about this kid and fucking you - That's it.
7:03It's over. I got Joey and Greg calling me like, hey man. That never happened! You might want to be nicer to him. The ant colony, you know? They'll come scurrying. Step on the ant. Are you the queen ant? Yeah. You are, you know And you should be proud of that Because you've earned that What's it? They did say they were going to send multiple I only saw one They did not say that Yes, I did Did they? I specifically asked And they said, yeah, of course We'll send multiple A bunch, I believe Oh, well, only got that one Yeah, they only got one And it was sent to Joey It's in its rifle spot Well, I sent it to my apartment So that it wouldn't get sent here Because sometimes it's a little funky with the mail Fair I mean, you could have had it.
7:45If we win another one, can you have it sent to me, and then I'll bring it in? I promise. I swear. Thanks. All right. Cool. If we are so lucky to get nominated and awarded next year or the year after however many times. How humble of you, yeah. I said if we get so lucky. I know. That's what I said. That is humble. That's why I said that. I want to make sure. Okay. Anyway, you just got back from a lovely vacation. Yes, I did. You were in? First family vacation. Turks and Caicos, both of them. I was in Turks and Caicos. I will tell you this. You know how I am with travel. Still there. You want to for the audience?
8:21At one point I said out loud, I need to get off this fucking plane right now. Oh, wow. Yeah. I apologize to my daughters who might have heard it. Why were you so... Because we landed 20 minutes early and then they said there's no gate for us. We have to wait. And we ended up waiting on the tarmac for 45 minutes. I heard no gay for us. No gate. Oh, you said gate. Oh, no. Yeah, gate. Oh yeah, it sounded like you said there's no gay for us. I was like I demanded three Got to the resort no gay for us I mean to my knowledge there were no gays either Oh for that that were made up statistically there was gays of course But there was no gate.
9:01So how long were you waiting? So we waited on the tarmac for 40 minutes and I I called the person I didn't say You called over the flight attendant? Yeah And I said Did you press the button? Of course I did Oh my god How else am I getting them over? Oh my god Bingo Yeah And I said Any update And they go We'll tell them to make it And they made an update That there's no update They made an announcement That there's no update Yeah And then it was another 10 minutes And I said I need to get off this plane Right the fuck now You said that to the flight attendant? No no no I said it out loud To myself To the earth Yeah okay I said I put the thoughts Yeah Yeah.
9:38Speak to the universe and it will speak back. Exactly. I manifested. And, to be fair, we were off there in another 10 minutes. Not bad. So, it worked. Kind of, right? Yeah. But yeah, it was our first trip with the kids and I I I went in the ocean. Whoa! Very proud of you. You clap too right now. Thank you so much. Keep going. I didn't say you stop. You don't really do that. Are you changing? I think I have a reason to go into the ocean and turgish and kekos. Yo, jokes aside, I know people say this. Yo, that beach is fucking crazy. Yeah. Like, I've never seen white sand. Yeah. You know what I mean?
10:30Like, it's been, like, beige or a dark brown or something. Yeah. Yo, and that water? Blue. Brother? Blue. Abba-dee-abba-dye. Let me tell you. Yeah. Because that shit was like blinding blue. So you were like, I'm going to go check this out. Yeah. I didn't go past. Like, if I stood up, it was at my waist. Okay. But I sat on my butt and I just kind of like. Played around? I hung out with the kids because I didn't want them going that farther. Like, Miles and Becca went out a little farther and then they come back. Yo, did I tell you this? They rented snorkel equipment Hell yeah And they snorkeled brother I will say this I don't think I've done many things to give my wife the ick If she heard me with the snorkel in my mouth She would have not been sexually attracted Would you You were snorkeling as well They like went snorkeling and they were like Oh my god like it's so beautiful It's so peaceful There's like a sense of just like release From what Becca was explaining to me They saw a bunch of fish First of all she comes over and she goes oh my god it was so cool we saw a barracuda i go oh let's let's talk about this on the land though oh you don't like barracudas first of all the only barracuda i've ever liked is the team of blue barracudas and legends of the hidden temple i also wouldn't know what a barracuda is i know it kind of looks like an eel and it's got teeth but are they like they'll they'll get you they will get you can it it can't hurt me right it'll take a chunk out of your thumped.
11:59But can it? I'll, but I... It's not a... I'll survive. You'll survive, but you won't be happy with the damage it hath done. Right. You know, like, pull up a picture of a barracuda. These bitches are not the smallest, and they've got teeth on them. Are they quick? They're in the ocean. Yeah, they're all quick. They're in the ocean, so, like, that's like... Oh, fuck. That's way different than what I was picturing. I feel like this is a good... That's a big barracuda, brother. It's a good reference. It's only got like seven teeth, though. No, bro. Ooh, Barracuda. Did you see what it did to Nemo's mom?
12:33Was that a Barracuda? Yeah. It was Nemo's mom. What was her name? I don't even care. I don't even care. Why am I asking that? Like, that's the thing that I have. Joe, this is messing you up, dude. Yeah, big time. But they go, ooh, Barracuda. We saw Barracuda. It was so cool. I was like, let's go talk about this on the land. So you got scared. Of course I got scared. Bro, what? But then when did you put on the snorkel gear? oh they were like oh miles was like please come with me and i was like all right i gotta be a man i gotta be tough daddy now yeah you know so tough daddy had to show up but my breathing was not good if i'm telling you right now i said to becca i was like if you had heard that you would have what did it sound like oh so like when when darth fader had like half his mask blown off dude I'm not used to breathing out of my mouth Out of a tube You know what I mean?
13:28And I'm swimming And I'm in an uncomfortable position Because I'm in the ocean So I'm like Do you see anything cool? There was a school of fish Hell yeah But I thought it was not cool So I was like We should go back I'm hungry Why? Does fish scare you? the idea of being amongst a thing like amongst a group of something where it's like potentially thousands to my one no matter the the size of them is not cool what about when we go on tour and there's thousands of people if you were to put like that i'm in the environment of people like there i have a sense of control there like what you're saying you we you'd be uncomfortable It would be comfortable if we went on tour and everyone in the stands was fish.
14:19Put it like this. Put it like this. Yeah. Yes, I would. If we did a show for an aquarium, I would be like, this is cool, but there is something here that's scary. Bro, by the way, you know SeaWorld is putting on concerts nowadays? Bro, one's that you would go to. I saw it. It was like the Ying Yang Twins. That shit looked... I saw D-Rock and Kane, and I was like, yo, honestly, I would be there. Although we don't support SeaWorld. No. Concerts, though. The artists that they hire, I'm pumped about. Yeah. But the way in which they make the money, fuck that. How about that? SeaWorld, you got to let those fish out, bro.
15:01Let the whales be a whale. Let the fucking whales out. Let them swim around. I have, if there are any anti-SeaWorld companies looking for a slogan, I got one for you. hey SeaWorld dump them out I was gonna say hey SeaWorld let them see the world that's way better SeaWorld dump them out it's not bad either SeaWorld dump them out it's kind of playful and shit too like yo SeaWorld dump them out yeah dump the fucking dolphins out dump like let them I fuck with dolphins oh yeah I fuck with dolphins but like yeah so I was in the ocean and it was like it was cool where I was, but going out further, I was like not good.
15:48They had like people, like vendors, like bringing people parasailing like out. I'm good on parasailing. Also just like, they're like, you could sign up for like excursions where we bring you like an hour off land and you swim around for an hour. No. Do you see anything cool? I imagine they do it because there's cool things about. Oh my God, if I can go out there and see like a fucking whale. Have you ever been to the Caribbean? Caribbean I don't know which is like right no I haven't I'm surprised like that seems like your trip I know you've been a big beach I mean I would do it for sure but like they also like we we stayed at a resort they had stuff on the resort for the kids and for us that was pretty cool yeah but like those vacations always struck me as more of like a family thing yeah but they have like uh and I'm not saying I'm not trying to be insulting and saying this but like they have like a Ritz Carlton and like no I know like I don't mean that in a disrespectful way you know I'll jump at the opportunity to call you rich billionaire Joe but like things that are more tailored for a non-family trip so Frankie got there he had to you know chill out vacation packages did I no I didn't wait what I don't get it well you're trying to get him to go and you get a piece and that's how you got free to go there it was a joke never mind no I let me be very clear about something Like, this trip costs some dollars, okay?
17:11Like, timeshares. It was a couple bucks. Did you have a day where you're like, I'm getting everything on the menu? A day? All day? Every day. Did you have any, like, cool drinks? Did you get a pina colada? Don't fucking piss me off. You're damn right I got a pina colada. You're fucking talking about it. You're damn fucking right, baby. Yeah. More frozen shit every day. Not every day, because honestly, like. Sugary. It was too much. It was too much. and everything there. It's so consistently hot that like you get something frozen, it's melted in 10 minutes. But you got to crush a penis colada. There was a penis colada.
17:45There was, they had a brewery there. Whoa. That like their like resort had like their beer. Very good. Nice. I enjoyed it. Oh, what's better than an ice cold beer on a hot day on a beach? I'll tell you this though. Daddy re-found his love for mint mojitos. Yo, mojitos are up there. Dude. This fucker loves him. Dude, I am so... Like, I remember being such a bitch for a mint mojito, and then it went away. It, like, disappeared. It, like, went off to college, and then now I'm fully, like, ingrained in the life of a mint mojito. I am so back. Is there a reason why you're saying mint mojito? You can do, like, berry mojitos.
18:26Oh, I thought they were all mint. No, I think the mojito is kind of like a blanket term that could be used for some different, like, different flavors. I'm good with just straight mint lime mojito. I saw this video the other day. I'm curious to get your, probably not yours because you have a disgusting alcohol palate. But. I enjoy. You just had like a Jameson and fucking water or whatever. Jameson and tap water, please. What would you like, sir? Ooh, I'll have Jameson and just rub the floor with a sponge. No, but I saw this video where it was like the espresso martini had its moment. Then the Aperol spritz.
19:11Like what's going to be next or whatever. And I don't know if you guys ever had one of these, but you ever have a Hugo spritz? Not only have I not had that. If someone told – I've not heard of that. And if someone told me order the Hugo spritz, I'd be like how stupid do you think I am? Because that sounds like a drink that came with like a cigarette put out in it. No, it's delicious. Look at the Hugo Spritz. Hugo? Hugo. Like an old Croatian man? No. The Hugo Spritz. It is two parts vodka. It is three parts put out cigarette. Saint-Germain, yeah. Half ounce elderflower liqueur. Oh, I don't hate that.
19:52Prosecco, sparkling water, fresh mint leaves. Oh, I'm in. And then... I'm so in when I saw mint. Bro, it's good. It's like, is that, what is Saint Germain? Is that a gin? It's a liqueur. Yeah, so like that shit is good, bro. I had one when I was in Portugal and I'm like, I really got to do this more. Dude, I've never, I've never heard of one. I've never had one. I'll tell you this. The name is basically piss. What are you picturing when you say Hugo? First of all, what am I picturing? That fucking weird movie that Martin Scorsese made years ago where it was like, just like a old, it was like a white kid running through a clock or some stupid shit.
20:32I have no idea what you're talking about. Look up the movie Hugo. No, look up Hugo. Hugo? Hugo movie? Fuck this shit. There is a kid with a clock. Looks Peter Panish. You know what I'm talking about? I think, isn't that the kid, isn't that Asa Butterfield? The kid that was in Sex Education? Is that him? And Chloe Grace Moretz and Ben Kingsley and Sasha Baron Cohen. Do you see why the drink sounds like shit? Well, you're... Oh, here's a drink made by Ben Kingsley. Well, that's not how drinks work. I know. Here's a drink made by a fucking bellhop. And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller.
21:14Slap me. Let's draw something loose. Ay, yes! I like that. The Certified Fresh Series returns. Your boss. You always like this? Or is this just an eye? Oh, no. This is mad. Oysters, everybody! There's a certain satisfaction when you work with someone. Maybe we could be a family. You sadistic pig! The Paper. New season streaming September 9th, only on Peacock. This show gives me a reason to laugh. Up in a hat, and it's Sacha Baron Cohen. Just try the Hugo Spritz and shut it. Honestly, that does sound really, really good. It's really refreshing. It was really nice. I've had one. Yeah? Did you like it?
21:49No. Yes, I did. I will say... A Spritz on a hot day? Dude, love that. Yeah, I think the word spritz just, it's like, because it's like, you know what I mean? Like, it sounds like it's a good, like, it's refreshing because when you want to be spritted. Well, sprit on me. You want to be sprat? Sprat on me. I like getting a spritz. Starting off with a spritz. Aperol spritz, unbelievably overrated. I like them. So overrated. I could see this jumping to the top. Look up other spritzes because Aperol sucks. There's a spritz at a bar near here. It's watermelon and rhubarb. Stupid. Rhubarb. You see, I don't like rhubarb.
22:33I don't like rhubarb because it's literal poison, if not prepared and given to you the right way. Excuse? Rhubarb is poison. But, like, you need to have it in, like, a certain way or cooked or prepared in a certain way or in some capacity that it doesn't kill you. Let's figure out if that's right because— Is rhubarb poison? It's R-H. He spelled re-barb. R-H-U-B-A-R-B. Like rhubarb, bruh. Is rhubarb poison? What am I saying? Is rhubarb poisonous? Oh, yeah. Partially poisonous. While the stalks are perfectly safe and edible, the large green leaves contain high levels of some acid. I actually thought you guys were talking about the concrete thing.
23:22Rebar No Asphalt? No Iron rebar or steel Whatever it is composed of Is not poisonous Because it's a metal Yeah I've never heard of this Would you eat the puffer fish? Oh I don't know That's a really good question Honestly I don't know If I went and it was like This is one of the three Japanese chefs That can make this I might I might It depends where I am I'm adventurous with food Honestly Adventurous with food I am too The biggest bitch with everything else I am too But I just You know Putting me down Via puffer fish Would be insane If Joe If Joe came back Or we found out Oh Joe went down Because he had puffer fish We'd be like Well No He's so mad right now He's so mad Which I would be so pissed off That would be the part I'd be sad But like also I'd be like damn he's not happy he's dead right no dude i'd be so pissed off i'd be at god's hr desk wait so what are the other spritz so aperol spritz sounds great overrated hugo spritz sounds awful name wise but the drink composition looks like it would be amazing it's great i mean you can make anything a spritz really what makes it a spritz is it the inclusion of i assume prosecco yeah it's like prosecco uh like sparkling water like club soda what was that thing from uh a negroni spritz.
24:50What was that thing from the... Spagliato. Yes. With Prosecco in it. The actors that were in House of the Dragon. Oh, yeah. Is that a spritz? Technically, because of the addition of Prosecco? Um, I don't know. Campari spritz? Look at this! Shoot your, shoot your face, Campari. Wow. I'm just not a big Campari guy. Limoncello spritz? Okay. Vermouth? Bicicletta? Ooh, a classic Italian variation using dry white wine. Okay. But there is Campari's there again though Spritz is Spritz is I'm in Hold on Cynar spritz? This sounds like a robot From Mortal Kombat I'm in An earthy complex option Made with Cynar Don't know what that is Flavor with artichoke leaves?
25:35Yeah get the fuck out I like artichoke I do too But like not to drink How do you feel about like Cocktails that throw like food in there? Like that Only the Bloody Mary does that I mean, we just saw a version. That's flavored with it. I don't think there's like in the cup. I mean, I imagine they do that. Like look like that with tomatoes. I enjoy. Tomato spritz? I cannot hate that. That sounds disgusting. I do enjoy garnish. I like when a drink feels like a little piece of art. You know what I mean? I like that as well. But there is a level to it. Like I want to see the art. I don't want to see it made.
26:12Like that. That's one of those situations. Like don't show me your sausage. Just show me. I love when a bartender pulls out the mint. He's just like. No, because I get so like we've talked about this I get so grossed out by bartenders like touching everything but like they'll just like
26:33You like and they're like why does that gross you out? It's just weird like I I know that I'm gonna be mixing a drink. I know but like this like you suck you know what i mean like how else are you gonna mix it i know but like know that what you're doing is ridiculous we just had a conversation about we're fucking what is it self-awareness i don't know man i'm not on the same thing the thing that i find a little bit gross is like oh they're touching all my my garnish is just like their hand and they're like expressing it and then just putting their fingers basically like you're making a drink and like there's a certain playfulness you need to have to it when you take it like when it's too artistic for me i'm like dude it's alcohol you're making poison you are like you are like that's you know it's like oh wow the artistry behind this crystal meth is incredible there absolutely is an artistry to making drinks i and i agree that's saying you don't care about your food and how that's but like the person themselves So what about food?
27:37You also need to just realize, like, you need to have a... Frank wants his dinner. Just fucking throw it on the plate. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what I am saying. You know what he would like? Less effort. How about the bartender stop doing their jobs? See, what you're doing right now is you're fucking putting words in my mouth. If you just, for 10 seconds, for once in your life, shut your fucking mouth and listen to me, you'll hear what I'm saying. I am saying they can have the artistry behind it, but when they don't have the wherewithal to realize, like, this is ridiculous, I'm making a drink.
28:14Why is that ridiculous? I don't even think they're doing anything outrageous. Because there's a certain ridiculous. What are they doing that's ridiculous? Shaking it? But it's just like, you need to, like, when they take the spoon and they, like, swirl it, like, in between their fingers, like, they're. I have never seen a bar. Oh, there are people that do, like, there are TikTok accounts that I've seen. You know what I'm talking about. Maybe not because you exclusively drink at places that have failed their health rating. I'm just saying. When they get, like, too into it, it's just like, I see it.
28:43I'm just like, dude, you know, like, just be playful. Know what you're doing. That's being playful. No, but, like, there's a... Oh, no, by you. Something that you'll enjoy. Yes! Only you. Yes! What I enjoy is crafted by me. Not you. Step outside of yourself, buddy. step outside of yourself right now and i think the word that i'm looking for it's like it's such a fine line between like being whimsical and being like a bit of a dork i this is personally bad take personally it's a bad take right i personally feel like i i know that there are people there's a sect of people that feel like bartenders are going over the top because yes when people are like i can i get a drink and they start throwing the bottle with the elbow and catching it and doing this.
29:30Yes. Like, me personally, I'm in. Yeah. This is a bonus for me. Cool. I mean, if it's a 10-minute show, let's wrap it up here. But, like, if you're doing it and it's kind of like whatever, cool. I have no problem with that. I definitely don't have a problem with shaking my drink. I see the shaking and like it. And you'd like them to be like, you know what? You know what? This is ridiculous. No, no, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. But like the, the, like the idea that they're giving me something and they're like, you should be honored that I'm giving it to you. How could you possibly feel that way?
Read the full transcript
30:09It's on their menu. You order it and they make it, they give it to you. I know, I know, I know. Listen, I'm aware in this moment that I might be being a little insane, but for the sake of the conversation, like, I think that there's like, there's almost like a certain, I've been to bars where the bartenders have a certain, certain like arrogance to them and like it's like dude you're just like i i value and respect what you're doing but like don't believe that because you're doing something you're now the most like tortured soul artist in the world i'm so confused i have never seen a bartender oh forgive me that i guess i am i am of what places are you going to i'm not saying going now in my life have been to places like that i have never seen i feel like i feel like frankie if he came in literally tomorrow and you're asking the same question, he might be on the other side.
31:01Honestly, but that's the beauty. Zubintite, that's the beauty of this country and this world. Yes. We get the opportunity to one day with our current experiences, have one opinion and the next day experience something that brings us elsewhere on that opinionated spectrum. And that is a beautiful place to live in. And that is a beautiful place. Now if you want me to just be spanked by the fucking opinion gods over here Then so be it But I like that my opinions on life could be fluid So yes, maybe tomorrow I come in with something different So now that we know that you are fully spanked We do have some sponsors for today's episode This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp BetterHelp is online therapy So if you need to get some therapy, BetterHelp has you covered They can get you onboarded in just under 48 hours And also help you find the right fit for you Okay, so you can transfer from therapist to therapist to make sure you're finding the right person that vibes with you and your situation and help you out.
32:00I've been in therapy for years now. I think that it's very important that people do it. I think anyone can benefit from it and not just people that are maybe going through something traumatic. I think that it's just going to the gym for your mind. It's really good. I love it. So I had therapy today. But anyway, you can go check out BetterHelp. They have over 30 ,000 therapists. It's the number one largest therapy platform in the world. And yeah, you can sign up and save some money. Get 10 % off at BetterHelp.com slash Basement Yard. That is BetterHelp.com slash Basement Yard to get 10 % off of your therapy.
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33:16but yeah it's all about finding the right treatment for you it's straightforward and transparent and designed to make you know getting the care feel easy and for simple online access to personal personalized and affordable care for hair loss ed weight loss and more visit hymns.com basement that is hymns.com basement for your free online visit featured products include compounded drug products which the fda does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required individual results may vary see website for full details restrictions and important safety information well him hers they thems however you choose to identify you know what you're gonna love the basement yard patreon baby patreon.com slash the basement yard is the service that we use where we give you guys a little bit of us a little sooner and a little bit extra it's honestly a little fun and you can go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard take a gander at the different tiers that we got there because that first tier that's going to get you these weekly episodes one whole week in advance.
34:11Seven whole days ahead of people that are non-patrons. And then that second tier, well, that's where you're going to get exclusive episodes every single Friday that I will tell you transparently and candidly often get off the rails. And if you think that there's somehow that this show can get more off the rails than what it is on the weekly episode, well, boy, you have not seen any of the Patreon stuff. And guess what? If you go to patreon.com and you sign up for that second tier and you get those exclusive videos every single Friday, you're also going to get the backlog of everything that has come before it.
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36:13So we've got three websites. That's not a lot. We've got patreon.com slash thebasemenyard for the subscription service. We've got senegatostudios.com for some merch options, and then we've got thebasemenyard.com for some live show options. So go check it out. We love you. We thank you. We appreciate you. Back to Joey. I did that well. That was pretty good. You should do commercials. I always love when the links are the name of the thing. Makes it so easy. What does that mean? Like, where the basement yard? Thebasementyard.com. Boom. Yeah, because you know there's some old boomer out there that's just like, hmm, I like the basement yard.
36:47Let me go to thebasementyard.com. And then it's like, wow, this is streamlined and easy for me, an old person who's an idiot. I meant for everybody, but yeah. No, yes, it works for other people that are... We still have to go for lobster rolls and a bottle of white wine, too. Ooh, fucking Stuart Spritz. Honestly... Hugo. Whatever that dumb asshole's name is. I genuinely don't think I've ever gotten mad at Joe. If he brings it up one more time and we don't do it, I'm going to... How is this on me? I'll just start getting there. Forgive us. It's on somebody. It's on somebody. Forgive... Our schedule collectively has been crazy.
37:22That's true. All of us as a trio. That's actually true. As an ensemble-ish. so like so like it's like a thing but we will get there don't you worry your sweet head of yours we will i think that we should commit to sometime in the next two weeks monday well you got you got monday as as of recording you guys are doing the card-a-thon so you guys got a lot going on i do so he's trying to make an excuse for you no no no no i'm just saying I don't know if you're looking to escape that or if you feel compelled to get back and win. Winning already. Already winning? I don't know. He doesn't know. Anything could happen.
38:05It's true. It's a lot of time. Okay. Well, back to me. We're done with you. We saw... Can you pull up the gelato thing? I could pull up the gelato. We've had this for weeks and we never brought it up. But I'm so in the mood for gelato. Who fucking cares about gelato, dude? You don't care about gelato? I don't think I've ever had gelato, like, proper. What? I've had ice cream, because I'm an adult in America. You've got a lot of hard takes. I know. Honestly, that one felt pretty charged, and I'm going to stand behind it. Okay. You've never had gelato in your life? I don't think I have, honestly.
38:40You've never had, like, a hazelnut gelato? Oh, my God. Can I ask a serious question? Yep. And I know I'm not the only person that wonders this. Difference. What's the difference? Between gelato and ice cream. um you know for me it's just one of those things that i don't want to know you don't need to know i'm assuming it's something it's one of those things like if i went to a super artsy bar i'd be like what's your favorite dessert bartender that just shook my fucking you know my my vodka tonic for 12 minutes what's your favorite gelato that's what i expect so are these people that have gelato just fucking i'm starting to think that you've never been outside in your life.
39:19That's what I'm trying. I absolutely have. And I love the outside. I just told you I was in the ocean. I feel like you're picturing the guy who's the food critic in Ratatouille. And you're like... Anton Ego? That's the guy who makes your cocktails for you. And you're like, oh my God. No, no, no, no, no, no. He's too... Anton Ego. I believe that's his name. Please fact check the name of that. That movie, Ratatouille being the food, is outrageous. Not the name of the rat. How could that be? No, no, no. I meant like, that's the dish that got him? Ratatouille? I, if you want, that movie is so beautiful.
40:00I love that movie. It makes, I'm not kidding. There are, I think it was like Anthony Bourdain, RIP, said that like, that is the best movie about simulating the restaurant to like, critic experience. Because like, that's what they're all trying to do. They're all trying to bring a dish that's not elevated to a point that it elicits that response from people. That movie is on my list of what I believe are perfect movies. I think that after I watched that movie, I wanted to just be friends with a rat for like a little bit. I'm going to ask you a serious question. What's the name of the rat? Rat. You don't know the name?
40:41So that's what a lot of people... A lot of people think it's rat. Give me his first letter. R. A lot of people think it's Reddit. Oh, Rufus. Nope. What's his name from fucking... Kim. Yeah. That's a naked mole rat. His name is... Rodolfo. Good job. So, like... What is it? It's not Rodolfo. I'm aware. That's a good guess. I'm not going to tell you. What's the second letter? No, I'm not telling you. E. What do you get out of that? You feel good? Do you feel good? I think it bothers you that you don't know. It doesn't. Okay. So, live the rest of your life never knowing. Frank I could look it up at any point in my life And get it Why not Because if you cared that much What game are you playing in your head What do you get out of this I'm shaking my cocktail back here You're worse His name is Remy That's right I did know that His name is Remy Not Rodolfo Rodolfo is someone's name I'm not sure that's anyone's name No there's a Rodolfo Good name I don't know if it's a rat's name but um gelato uses more milk less cream also if i brought in gelato pistachio gelato and gelato ice cream and i put it in front of you you'd be like the difference is astounding i'm gonna go one step further pistachio flavoring is so mid i don't think so i think pistachio and like a croissant love that cool without it it goes i'd like it better than like a chocolate stuffed thing I just don't like pistachio I was talking with Dylan of all people about this about pistachio pistachio because he I think he called himself pistachio aura and I said like such a mid flavoring yeah I don't think so I like it but if you walk into a gelato spot if you walk into a gelato spot and you saw all these which like three are you considering you want all okay alright I'm gonna go off of not just the name of the the flavor but just the appeal of the like that is some of those are beautiful um immediately top easiest answer i've ever given in my entire life salted caramel yeah holy shit anything that's salted caramel i'm good it like and and not like i'll be cool around it i'll be shy around salted caramel i'll be like i like i love salted caramel anything it's i think it's probably one of the best flavors ever.
43:07Also, I'm looking at right below her, brown sugar. Brown sugar's a really good one. Always good. So my three, off rip, I'm going salted caramel, cherry, and New York cheese. Cherry! Dude, I don't know. Listen, I know. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, for like, just give me a minute of your time. You've talked this entire time! Give me a minute of your time. Watch it. I'm shutting up now. I'll never talk ever again. Oh, no. We're all hurting now. What the fuck is taro? What is that? Taro is like a... Berry?
43:44It's like a root. Oh, I can't. Am I wrong? Like taro root? I can't get behind that. Paro root? What about cotton candy? With two guns. I'm shooting this thing. I honestly wouldn't even consider that anymore. I like cotton candy. Cotton candy flavored things is one of those things that I can't ever get behind. I think there was a time in my life, though, that I would not have passed up cotton candy. I mean, the kids are there. I can tell you that right now. There have been several times where I've gone to the ice cream shop. And they get cotton candy? And they'll get cotton candy, and they just won't like it because it's just like the blue.
44:19Let me ask you a question. Where are you? I don't think it's up here. No. But where are you on like birthday cake flavoring and shit? It's gotta be like, it can't just be like there's just sprinkles in it. It needs to have a bit of that like raw batter taste. It's got like, but there's the little colors. If it's just the colors, then don't call it birthday cake. Call it confetti. Right. Like to my understanding, like if you're going to do like cake batter flavored things, it needs to taste like you're licking the spoon of cake batter. Oh, I love that. I do too. Bad for you. But with the point I was making about cherry, I have had a, you know how I was with my ice cream.
44:57I was a Breyers Nash or vanilla. Yeah. Cherry vanilla lately Cherry vanilla It's vanilla with like cherry Infused and then like giant chunks of cherry I love cherries No What the fuck is unicorn I feel like that's like a birthday cake Yeah that's one of those where it's just like the colors Are in there Chunky monkey Cookie butter might come home with me I'm surprised Joe doesn't like chocolate therapy was that oh i don't even know what that is i don't know what that is i'm not a big chocolate i'm not gonna kid that's a great joke that you made i like that a lot some people like also green tea i'd rather be shot by a horse i've never had green tea flavor like that's one of those things like i love green tea but the flavor of green tea and ice cream i can't imagine liking it i think i've been in a gelato place before and they had a uh one that was earl gray i'm like What is that?
45:55I mean. No. It's, I know what Earl Grey is. I've had an Earl Grey, but like, it's a lotto. Oh, why? Yo, also, overrated cookies and cream. It's overrated. Wow, that is a take. It's overrated. Cookies and cream, anything is overrated. You know what? I don't feel passionately enough the other way to do anything but defend you here, so I'm with you on that one. But that's what I'm saying. Like, the cookies and cream, they like to put it up there with like, the vanillas or the chocolates or like, these heavy hitters. Cookies and cream is not, not that guy. I don't think. It's not cookies. It's not cookie dough.
46:25All right, all right, all right, all right. Give me your Mount Rushmore of cookie flavors. I mean, sorry, what? Of ice cream? Give me your Mount Rushmore of ice cream flavors. Vanilla. Duh. Cookie dough. Cookie dough? No, it's not your favorite. It's about Mount Rushmore. It's about Mount Rushmore. The four that you would put as the representation. I would. I mean, so, okay, whatever. I mean, vanilla, absolutely. I think it's... Vanilla chocolate strawberry. They're the Neapolitan and then what there's a fourth one. What the hell would you even put there then if you guys want to play these rules?
46:58Oh my goodness. That's a great question. It's like what would be the fourth though? Is there a fourth? It's like the argument like what's the third major city? Unfortunately, you want to do this. Unfortunately, the fourth would probably be like mint chocolate chip or some shit. I will tell you Three guns for that one. I would put every gun that exists. I think I think the obvious the easiest answer would just be just plain old chocolate chip Boring. I mean, for me, my favorite ice cream flavor is cookie dough. Oh, mine right now is cherry vanilla, if not regular-ass vanilla. America's top 10 ice cream flavors.
47:39I thought it'd be bigger. Nope, it ain't. Just zoom in. Just zoom in. Command and scroll, babe. Yeah. So we got vanilla, chocolate, cookies and cream. There's no possible way. This is overrated. Chocolate chip cookie dough. I guess that makes sense. It's chocolate chip cookie. You know what's better? You know what's better than cookies and cream? Oreo. It's different. Is it, brother? Is it different? Is it? Is that not? I don't know. Is that not? It feels different. I think cookies and cream was birthed through the anus of Oreo. That's probably fair. I just don't think it's like one of the heavy hitters.
48:13Is that moose tracks? What the fuck is that? Moose tracks is like there's like chunks of chocolate in it or something. But isn't tracks poop? hoop no that's the no that's the hooves no no no no he means like uh like bear tracks marks you're talking like marks no track don't they say like bear tracks no that's bear scat and moose scat i swore tracks was like shit tracks is like the the paw prints like a bear around yeah i don't know where have you heard of tracks being fecal matter i hope joe might be right actually i have no idea so strawberry yo loki as i'm getting older strawberry is good it's making it's way i fully agree fully agree it's making its way up cookie dough is just a flavor i didn't know that oh yeah it's it's basically just like a vanilla with cookie dough chunks without the chocolate chip buttered pecan being number six that is mind my guy my guy my guy the south they love They love it?
49:16Pecan, as they specify it down there. Mint chocolate chip is the biggest fraud in the world. I'm not even kidding you. Disgusting. I've had it, and I still can't imagine how people like it. I don't get it. Because there are certain things I could try and be like, I get it. There's people that like that. Mint chocolate chip is the, like, they just clash. Also, like, peppermint patties, like, that sort of thing where you're getting, like, minty chocolate. Like, this is a very. Doesn't make sense. I'm with you. Like, I don't know. Wait, so go back to the gelato thing. So my top three, I went New York cheesecake.
49:50Oh, did you? I went New York cheesecake, cherry, and salted caramel. Give me your top three. I see you said brown sugar. What are the other two on there? Well, I said salted caramel for sure. Because anything caramel, I usually, oh, man, see? I don't want to get all the same type of shit, though. Because I would do, like, cookie butter, brown sugar, and salted caramel. But I'm going to switch it up. Ooh, can I? No, I'm changing the rules here. I was going to say, can I get two? I would order two. Like you get one and one? Of different scoops? Yeah. Like you get two scoops in one cup and you get...
50:22My guy, my guy, my guy. Just pick three flavors. Yeah. You can get one of each in the same cup. It doesn't matter. That's Frankie's eighth, my guy. Yeah. I'm going to go salted caramel. Yes. Welcome to the club. I'm actually going to go cookie butter. Yeah. Okay. And then I'm going to go... maybe i'll go stracciatella can i ask i was gonna ask what is that it's just like chocolate and but why did not just call it it's like chocolate uh hardened chocolate syrup and like vanilla oh okay i think that's it stracciatella actually it was on a tiktok account oh i might get the hazelnut if i'm feeling like a little hoo i love how hazelnut is just almost chocolate but there's that nuttiness to it.
51:09I kind of like that. You know what I like? When shit has a little fucking chunk in there and I'm not really expecting it. See, I I like a chocolate chip. I don't like a chocolate chunk. I feel like I need some rules and order to this. I can't have big chunks. Give me uniform chips. Don't just like a fucking cowboy in the wild west just fucking throw different sized chunks in there. Yeah. It's like that scene in Casino. Where he has the blueberry muffin and there's like two blueberries in it. And the other guy has one and it's like 15 blueberries. Uniform the chips. Yeah. Okay? I mean, I like a chunk if I'm expecting a chunk.
51:52But if I'm not expecting a chunk, what are we doing here? What the fuck is this? I don't know if I could go out and speak for you. Outside of the flavors that we don't understand, like tarot. Yeah, I don't know what that is. I think I can imagine that you hate the following flavors. Okay. I could see you hating lemon. Yeah. I don't like lemon-flavored pastries. I think you're in the same boat. Like, I go back and forth with it, but this would be too much for me. Too much lemon. I can imagine you hate mint brownie, because not only have they disrespected mint and chocolate, but then they put it in brownie form, which I think you're a fan of.
52:31Yeah, but this is an abomination. It is. Yeah. Okay, it's like when, like, fucking two hillbilly cousins have a kid, and it's like, what is this? And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller. Slap me. Jar something loose. Ay, yes! I like that. The certified fresh series returns. Your boss. You always like this, or is this just an act? Oh, no, this is mad. Oysters, everybody! There's a certain satisfaction when you work with someone. Maybe we could be a family. You sadistic pig! The Paper. New season streaming September 9th, only on Peacock.
53:09This show gives me a reason to laugh.
53:14You know? I forgot this was on Patreon. Well, not a Patreon. Not at all, actually. I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. Also, we could do without raspberry, right? I like it. I like raspberries. I think raspberry shit is actually really good. I would throw green tea on the ground. Oh, okay, okay. Unicorn I'm throwing on the ground. Also, blueberry doesn't deserve its own flavor. It looks too chunky. It doesn't deserve its own flavor. She looks too chunky. You have not earned a leading role yet, blueberry. Although, they are the leaders in pies. A blueberry pie is a fantastic pie. I've gone on record.
53:55I'll continue to be on this record. I don't like any pie because cooked fruit is disgusting to me. Honestly, you gotta come back around on that They have the best muffins Have you ever had a cobbler? Uh, no Fucking cobblers I just don't like I just watched some dude on TikTok make a peach cobbler And like, it looked fun for him But I'm not in It's good Can you do me a favor? Yes, sir Get like 12 pies one day And let's do a pie tasting I did this years ago Pie versus cake And I hated all the pies I had a cherry pie I would have rather eat your ass Yes, after a workout. Wow. Wow, but also disrespectful to my ass because I know how much you hate cherries.
54:39Yeah. Well, I don't like hate cherries. Like, cherries are fine. I just, Gary Vee. I don't like cherries. No, it's not the cherry. It's the cherry pie. It was too much cherry. Didn't like it. Hit up your people from the bakery. Yeah, get the bakery. And have them make a cherry, a blueberry, an apple, a peach cobbler. Use the Crumpany credit card on this, okay? The Crumpany. The Crumpany. And also, we're going to need a lot of vanilla ice cream on top of these. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. A bakery that's called the Crumpany. Yeah, unfortunately, it's going to need more than that. It's not just a name.
55:24Billion dollars. Hold on. While you think about that, let's get to the rest of these sponsors. because I just remembered that as a thing. Listen, we have here DoorDash, okay? DoorDash, you guys know DoorDash. You can go onto their platform and you can order pretty much anything you need to your apartment, whether it be food or something from a convenience store or anything like that. But also, I think a way that people don't think about DoorDash is in the way that you can connect and help with other people as well. We actually, me and Frank a while ago, did this thing with DoorDash where for Mother's Day, we sent our moms flowers with DoorDash.
56:01So you can connect with people in that sort of way as well. If it's Mother's Day or whatever it is, you can send flowers to people via DoorDash. And, you know, just for your friends, you want to make your friend feel happy or you're thinking about them, send them a little DoorDash. You know, they like ice cream, boom. They want some gelato. We're talking about gelato. Send your friend a gelato. She's studying for her fucking quiz or your friend is, you know, going through something. send them a little something maybe their favorite snack or something like that it's a nice way to connect via doordash okay don't just buy everything for yourself even though you could use it in that way as well you want to make yourself happy as well but you can use doordash to connect with the people that you love uh sending them flowers or sending them their favorite treat or whatever the case is uh you can help them out i've also used doordash in the past uh you know nicole wasn't feeling well before we were living together and i sent her a little care package with some like which is just a couple of things.
56:54You know what I mean? So it's like that. But go check out DoorDash. Go give it a check. And yeah, don't be afraid to connect. You know, DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy. All right. Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. And lastly here, we have Little Spoon. Okay. Little Spoon supports babies from the very first feed. It starts with organic infant formula for those first bottles, then moves into baby cereal and baby blends uh when solids begin first bites first spoons all of it and uh yeah they have pretty much everything it's everything is designed for the stage that babies are in it's made with simple ingredients and it's tested for 500 contaminants including heavy metals so that you know that your babies and toddlers are not eating those contaminants and including like heavy metals like i said uh but they have a bunch of stuff they have beyond smoothies and yogo snap pouches I know Frank's big on the little spoon.
57:52Oh, our kids went through those smoothies quick. They're very good. I'm tasting a little myself. How are you doing? Also, it feels good to give them something that I don't have to worry about where it's coming from. Exactly. They have over 100 plus ingredients banned across the board. You don't have to overthink any of the labels or anything like that. So it's good. And feeding the kids doesn't have to be complicated. It makes it easy with real, nutritionally balanced meals and snacks designed for every stage. It shows up ready to go. It takes the pressure off. and yeah it's great so get 30 % off of your first order online order at littlespoon.com slash basement with the code basement that is l-i-t-t-l-e-s-p-o-o-n.com slash basement with the code basement for 30 % off of your first order okay so that is littlespoon.com slash basement with that code basement and enjoy that 30 % off.
58:44And I don't. So a bakery. Crumpany. Called the Crumpany. And the slogan is it's about the crumpany you keep. Yeah. And it's just a good business that will work because it's just off of name and concept alone. Cool. We can get some pies. We'll do it on Patreon. We'll have a pie eating. They might not, because they're an Italian bakery. You might need to. No, we're just. I'm just going to have to just go to a store. Brother, brother, brother. No, no, no. Don't go get. No, no, no. We're going to a bakery. I know where you go, honestly. Martha's. Martha's Bakery. In Astoria, Queens. There's one in Brooklyn, too.
59:24Just don't. No, no. Go to Astoria, Queens. Say hi. Yeah, no. I go there. I'll give you my old address. You can wave to my old house. Sure. Company credit card for that one. Martha's Bakery. Yeah, she goes up there. She goes up there. How many? So there's... Piedrion? A Piedrion. Oh. That's a great one. Or Petri Pie. We'll go with the first one. So we have Blueberry Pie. Blueberry Pie. I'll retry the Cherry Pie, but I'm done. Cherry Pie. Types of pies. This is a great point. We need an apple pie. Cream pies. None that we need to try. Oh, yeah. Let's get a cream pie in here. Who doesn't like that?
1:00:00The ants seem very excited for that one. Everybody loves a cream pie. So we have fruit pies. I've never had a banana cream pie. I might be into that. I might be into the cream pie. I'll be honest with you. Yeah. Yo, honestly, cream pies may be the ultimate pies. Cream pies? Piss this too many. It's not fair. Coconut cream pie? I don't. Hold on. What's better than a cream pie and a little bit of coconut in it? Or a little banana in your cream pie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, all jokes aside, banana cream pie fucked me up. Custard pie? Blasting that. Yo, by the way, I will say, I had a pumpkin pie once and I fingered it.
1:00:37It's an unbelievable feeling on your hands. It's not fair. I wish we could end the episode there. Or cut to more ads. Can you just make up more ads? I guarantee you, you get a fucking pumpkin pie in here, which I guess is considered a cream pie, and you put your finger in it, you tell me that you don't want to blast the thing to hell. You tell me. You know what? A legitimate thing that we can and will do on Pytreon. I do like custards, so I guess that makes sense. And I do like, like, I know I'm going to sound like such a boomer here, but I do like Cool Whip. So, like, if that were the cream and the cream.
1:01:10How is that boomer? That's such a boomer thing, dude. I love Cool Whip. Cool Whip? Yeah. I can see myself enjoying that. Like, I do like custard. Like, one time we made this. You've never been to Stamati's, but, like, they have a dessert called. Oh, you've been to Kikladas, right? No, yeah. They have, it's like what they give you for free at the end. It's called like garlic taburico. It's kind of like a custard pie under phyllo dough. A garlic booty hole. Yeah. I love a garlic booty hole. But I can't get behind a cream pie just because. Nah, come on. Bro, don't get behind a cream pie. Get in the cream pie.
1:01:48Be the cream pie. Be the cream pie. Don't just get behind the cream pie. Get into the cream pie. Live in the cream pie. Yeah, you got to get in the cream pie, dude. All right, so we're establishing here. Joey wants to be cream pie. for Patreon. If there's ever a reason to go on Patreon and sign up it's because you will see Joey get cream pie. You will. I mean you have to too. You have to get it too. I'm not saying I'm contributing to that. You're getting a banana cream pie and you're gonna fucking like it. Oh see how he put the banana in there because he's afraid that people aren't gonna why they're gonna get it.
1:02:21It's a type of cream pie. You can't just get a cream pie. It's just cream pie. I mean I've watched old timey movies from like the 90s like a cream pie just looks like it's cool whip in a fucking what's it called a a a fucking dish pastry yeah like that's what yeah yes that's what i was looking for a graham cracker crust you don't think that why'd you say like a parrot a graham cracker cracker you have you don't think that an apple pie like aesthetically you're like this is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen aesthetically even i i've never seen a pie and been like that looks ugly like it all like the artistry behind the pie i wish those goddamn bartenders put effort into pies the way they do their fucking vodka tonic yeah you know i i'm really into pie like blueberry pie looks good looking it just blueberry pie is fantastic i just don't like cooked fruit it's a it's a texture thing for me like slimy fruit is not i i just can't i think there's less of that in a blueberry pie but i've had like this is going to be the worst version of it i know but follow me here i've had like the mcdonald's baked apple pies uh-huh it's the cooked it's the texture of a slimy apple you like oysters yeah but that's like i'm i like oysters because i know that that's what they are i like apples because they're crunchy and crisp i don't know what this apple is.
1:03:49No, no, no, but like, I know apples to be crunchy and crisp and airy and soft, not... Just change your mind. Just change your mind. If only it were that easy, Joey. If only... You know what? Oh, you're not... You're feeling the blues? Hey, just don't be sad. How about that? I can't just... Totally different. I can't just change my mind on what I think about apples. So because the first time you ate an apple, it was crunchy, you're like, I just couldn't possibly imagine this apple in any sort of form. Not the first time. How about the first 33 years of my life I had it and I was like apples they be crisp they be crunchy they be tart.
1:04:24Yeah it's just another way of doing it. Same with you had a little fucking ice cream on it Also I've said this before Harry Potter ruined me like like the scene of what? Harry Potter did what to you? He cream pied us. Yeah the scene of Ron coughing up the slugs when he gets hit with his spell back at him when he has the broken wand. That's what I imagine having an apple or peach pie is. Like the... But you don't feel that way about literal oysters. No, because I know oysters to be what oysters are. Yes. But they are like that. No, not to me. They're not slimy? Oysters, yeah, but I was introduced to them as slimy.
1:05:17And I will live like... But you're saying it's a texture thing and you don't mind the slime. Because I got into it knowing it's the slime. I did not get into apples knowing that these could also be slimy. They're not really slimy. Bro, look up a picture of someone dumping out apple pie filling. It looks like ooze. We're going to turn this guy into a... Inside out. What's that? Inside out. I didn't say that. You can't... Did you say inside out? I didn't say that. We're going to turn this guy inside out. After Joe saying he's getting cream pie on Patreon. We're going to get some cream pies in here and turn this guy inside out.
1:05:53Oh, by the way, you demonetized the video by doing that, not me. No, you can say cream pie. It's a food. We sang in the beginning. Neil's not dumb. He knows. Neil ain't watching. Neil's not watching. I know what they're saying. I'm into the cream pies, I think. Good for you, man. Good for you. I've never had a banana cream, but that sounds really good. I don't, it sounds not awful. You don't, is that you? You don't like banana shit? I like bananas. I don't like banana flavoring. Me too. I think it's literally might be the worst flavoring. And sometimes peach. Nothing worse than green apple flavoring.
1:06:28Oh, that's fine. That's a crazy taste. Nothing worse. I don't even know what, I guess like licorice is nasty. That's a good one. Yeah, but that's like, you don't even count those. Yeah, who likes that? My mom. All right, we could count them all. My mom might like it too, actually. I guess we'll count them all. My mom used to like. Didn't your mom like good and plenty? Yes. Oh, what a disgusting candy. Yeah. That's not even candy. She's earned the title. That makes her a disgusting person. What? Also, like, they look like pills. Yeah. Like, they don't look like candy. They look like pills. It looks like Dimatap.
1:07:03It looks like, oh, like, this is a Tylenol. Is there even sugar in this? Like, can we call it candy? But here's the thing is I don't, like, not only are they not good, I don't want any to define them as plenty. Yeah, one is enough. So what of the worst named things? Because they're not good and I don't want a plenty of them. It does look just like pills. It is. It does, dude. How are they still in production? Just do me a favor. Google who the hell still has good and plenty's. What does that mean exactly? Nothing's going to come up. Something will come up. It's just going to come up people. Or a store.
1:07:41People who like licorice. Google, this is an order. Okay. Who the hell still has good and plenties?
1:07:56And? Let's see. Hershey. Hershey. The Hershey Company. Hershey. Yeah, I get it. Of course. I was looking more for like a what kind of monster. What did you? It's not a magic book. It's not like just magic Shut up, yes it is It is kind of magic It is absolutely Anything you want to know, most things You just type it in How did the Choco Taco die before Good and Plenty's? I think they're back How did Choco Tacos Whoever was not on board with that, you're a bitch Those things are fantastic How the hell Did Give me a candy that is gone forever. How the hell did... I can't even think of one. There might not be one.
1:08:47Nah, they're gone. Yes, there definitely is. Like discontinued candies? Or do you like taffy? Like saltwater taffy? Yes. What's not taffy? Of the Laffy variety. Oh no, I'm thinking of like taffy. Yeah, I do. I like how they package that. I like how they package it because it feels rustic, but it's just mass-produced like everything else. But like the paper that it's in, it's like, what is that? Wax paper, I believe. No, I know. It feels like it's like deli paper. Yeah, it feels... That's what I mean by wrestling. You would put, like, bologna on this. It feels handmade. Like, I feel like I'm supporting a real person by getting this.
1:09:22I love going into a shop also, and they have, like, a wall of flavors of shit. And I'm like, let's go. Dude, the next time... I need taffy in my life, bro. Yo, taffy. Just for me. I mean... Send me mad taffy. Didn't fucking... Aren't Hercules candy? Like, didn't they send us stuff because they were fans? That is true. Hercules! We need you again. I am afraid of things in the mail that are food, though. That is fair. Honestly, yeah, I won't accept food from... I won't. I won't. I'm freaked out by it. Does anyone get put down like that anymore? Brother, it's... I ain't going to be the first, though.
1:09:56I'm not going to be the... Yeah, I'm not going to find out. I can't eat the buffer fish. There's a place in Asbury Park that's like an old-time candy shop. And, like, it's like... Do dudes wear little hats? uh great question is there a bar yeah nice you walk in and it's like a circular bar then behind that there's another bar and they're like what do you want and they just have like soda and milkshakes uh you know i don't know if they got that so let me back up let me manage your expectations oh you meant like a fit like an actual bar with alcohol no oh let's go to that place in manhattan that like makes like the old timey coca-colas no i'm talking about a bar that you sit at it looks like a bar but you order like milkshakes and shit oh they have one by by me a milkshake bar yep that's fire dude so old time stuff like that is coming back it's only a matter of time it could be called the crumpiny what about wait so the place that you dude that sounds so fire to be like imagine like after work instead of going to the bar you go to the bar and you get a milkshake it has i haven't been there a while i hope it still has it but it had like you know the booth the single booth no single stool like the cushion yeah and you go up and down and like It's like the Jackson.
1:11:01It looks like Jackson Hole, but it has candy. Yeah, and there's a quoll of candy you could get from and all that stuff I think that's so cool. I only want it if the guy has a shirt with stripes Like the stripes the red and white. Fuck yeah, and his name's like Elgin Stewart or Elgin Yeah, his name's like Harold. This is Eustace. Yeah, yeah. He has to sing. His name is Eugene I'm not accepting candy from a place like that unless the person sings it. He's got to be a lanky white fuck with a stupid haircut Did you see that Netflix is coming out with like a contest? It's like a Willy Wonka contest.
1:11:34They like built the candy factory. That's so sick. It's a show? Where it's like a real place? Look at, yeah, look it up. I think it's called like the Wonka contest or something like that. And you can like eat the walls? I haven't watched it because it hasn't come out yet. I am going to say there's Gene Wilder's AI voice, which I'm not pumped about. But like, yeah, Wonka is the golden ticket. Wait, so people build like Wonka factor? I think, I mean we'll have to wait and see. I saw just the trailer because the trailer came out. That is so fire, dude. I would definitely get it. But like they had like the everlasting gobstopper under the glass and shit like that.
1:12:13That's sick. Here's the, don't show this, Jax because we don't want Netflix to fucking punch us in the face. Yeah, we can't really show this, honestly. Honestly, it looks cool. Wait till you see the inside. Nah, nah, nah, nah. They got the chocolate river. Dude. Also, there's something about a chocolate bar that i'm just really horny by i'm right there brother you know like unraveling a chocolate bar especially if you could do it neatly and then you get to the foil which is the underwear obviously and then you take the underwear off and you're like here you are and i love when chocolate is is kind of engraved on top and also i love when it's kind of got like here's where the pieces yes yes yes it like it's like perforated like it's like you're gonna break it right here and there's nothing you can do to stop it you break it it's like a clean break and i'm like fucking this is like a sexual experience.
1:12:58It also as a father like with young kids like it helps with like portioning out for the kids. Yeah. Because we've had like one year for Father's Day the kids got me like a s'mores kit and it comes with like thing like the Hershey bars in it. It's so easy to be like half for you half for you. Did you know it's also a production thing to stop the bars from cracking and crumbling. It helps. Genius. I mean win win. Genius. Chocolate bars? In my old age? Coming back. I'm into chocolate bars. I haven't had a bar. You know what I haven't in a while? Like a Snickers. Like a... Yeah. Like the... Fun. Like the fucking cigar bar.
1:13:39Like a Milky Way or a Twix. I haven't had one in so long. Go out. Live a little. All right. I just meant like it's been a while. I'm not avoiding them. I'm just saying if Netflix hears this, if they do a season two of that Netflix Wonka show. And if you guys need someone to show up and just eat, could do that. Be honest with me for one fucking second. Are you doing the Augustus? Like, everyone talked about him. I would do the Augustus Gloop with the river of chocolate. He wouldn't do it. I would not do that. I would do a front flip into that fucking bitch. That's right. And fucking get in there.
1:14:16And also, shoot me up the tube. I don't care if I die in this thing. You want to when I die, bury me inside a chocolate river? Yeah, shoot me up the fucking whatever the fuck happens or i'll be like the other one what's her name virginia who gets all blue no violet you're turning violet violet yeah exactly that one that one kind of you'd be mike tv yeah i do love chewing gum though i have to admit he's kind of right he's when he's right i give him his flowers oh actually no you'd be the other one don't do this don't do that i I forget her name. Oh, she's the worst. Which one? The girl who's like, I want my daddy potter to eat ten golden bars.
1:14:56Yeah, exactly. What's her name? Fucking. I forget. Veronica? That can't be right. Viruza? Viruza bulk? Viruza salt? Oh. Arthur Slugworth is such a good name. Such a good name and looks like a fucking slug, too. Yeah, he does. Always reminded me of fucking what's his name? from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Isn't that him? No. That's not Slugworth? He's in that movie, I think. No, he is not. Really? That's Christopher Lloyd. That is Christopher Lloyd. That's Christopher Lloyd. Dude, when's the last time you watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit? The first time I watched it. It is an incredible movie. Watch it with your current adult eyes.
1:15:41Terrifying, dude. It's scary. Well, that guy... With his eyes and his eyes. And he talks like this. I was terrified of that scene. Dude, pull up Judge Doom. Is that his name? Yeah. First of all, name is Judge Doom. What are you doing? Such a good movie. Such a good movie, dude. Like, worth watching it again. I actually am going to be getting it soon. Yeah, see that scene? It scared the living daylights out of me. I'll be getting it soon on VHS. Dude, that's terrifying. Yeah. I didn't like that at all. That's not great. I was scared for way less. I miss when kids movies tried to scare kids. Now they're just not.
1:16:20You know what I mean? Like, this was a kids movie. And it's like, let's just put something absolutely fucking terrifying in here. Yeah, let's put on, instead of Blippi just being all nice, let him, like, cut someone's head off. Well, no, no, no, no. That doesn't make it. Like, just put something in there that is just so out of left field, it's going to scare the shit out of people. Like, what was the girl in fucking, oh, man, the woman in. The Exorcist. No, that's not a kid's movie. And Pee-wee's Big Adventure. Remember the fucking, what was it, The Bus Driver or something like that? I don't know, I trust you.
1:16:53Big Bertha, I think was her name. Big Bertha. Pee-wee's Big Adventure, Big Bertha. No. Or just put Scary Woman. Okay. I've never seen Pee-wee's Big Adventure. It's like one of those cult classics that's like, what the fuck? Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah, that'll do it. Oh, yeah, this lady. I actually remember this. Does it turn into this in the movie? Yes. Oh, jeez. Yeah, it'll get you. Oh. I love when kids' movies used to be like, you know what? Something completely out of pocket is going to scare the shit out. Large Marge. That's what I meant. Large Marge. Big Bertha. Close enough. It's very Beetlejuicy.
1:17:26Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I believe this was made by Tim Burton, so. Oh, then, yeah. I mean, that looks like a Tim Burton thing, but. Oh, man. Watch, watch. Scare your kids, Frankie. Watch. Terrify your kids. Terrify your kids, Frankie. I'm going to write that down. They deserve it. But like, it was better, like, like, Are You Afraid of the Dark was good because it was kind of also scary. Do we know that there's not scary stuff for that age range right now? I mean, you have like, sure there is, but you know, you're not getting Monster Houses anymore. You have like Five Nights at Freddy's, so I guess.
1:17:59You know Monster House, you're not getting that stuff no more. What's Monster House? It's a movie from like 2006. It was like an animated, like, scary movie for kids, but it was like, it also had some adult jokes in there. 2006? I think so. That might have also been Tim Burton. Monster House? I don't think that was Tim Burton. What's Tim Burton ask? Look up who directed Monster House right now.
1:18:222006. I'm on point. He really is. Is it Timmy B? Steve Buscemi? Oh, that just says that he's the voice actor. This is just for us, by the way. Yeah, it is just for us. Gil Keenan. Don't know. Who? Don't know that. Who's Gil Keenan? Exactly. No offense, Gil. Oh, he did Ghostbusters Frozen Empire. Did he? Yeah. Wow. And the... Well, good. Cool, I guess. Cool, cool. I mean, I wasn't a big fan of Frozen Empire. I thought it was aggressively okay. Wow. I didn't see it. Mitchell Musso from fucking Hannah Montana? I've never seen an episode of Hannah Montana. What? Come on. Swear to God. I've never seen an episode.
1:19:03You get the letter, my friend. I knew the songs. I remember Josh was obsessed with the songs. Oh. Josh was put on screen, were you? He was. He put the word yes. He's like talking. I mean, Hannah Montana was a fucking... It came out when we were like 14 or 15, around that same time. But like, it was fun. I watched it. I didn't dislike it. I was into The Climb. The song was a banger. It was a banger. I don't think that was from... It's not. No, it was from something else. It's just from her, I think. Yeah, it's just from... It's from her. Like Wrecking Balls, not from Hannah Montana. No, no, no, no.
1:19:35But wait, he might be right. The Climb might be from the Hannah Montana movie. Possibly. I have no idea. But also, When I Look at You, that song is crazy. That's from a different movie, but it's a great song. She's not done a Super Bowl. I think she has the catalog to pull it off. Oh, it is. Look at that. Hannah Montana movie. Look at that. I'm pretty impressed. Where was I recently? It's the club. Oh, I was at like an early 2000s themed birthday party, and this was on the TV, the Hannah Montana movie. Whose party was that And why the fuck wasn't I there It was in Canada It was one of Cole's friends Fuck That sounds like my party dude That sounds like a sick party I was on the TV I was invited I just couldn't go We get to live in our front Ooh Every time that means you Let me color What song is that?
1:20:27The theme song from Hannah Montana This is Disney Now Oh yeah They're gonna fuck us up Disney Now Might get green pie'd Yeah I'm just saying You get the best of both worlds I knew that song Take it slow Then you rock out this show He does the choreo Also Emily Osmond Who is the sister of Haley Joel There you go Billy Ray Silas I can break your heart Yeah Cyrus I think Billy Ray Cyrus Did I not say that? Silas Oh my bad Neither here nor there Well There you have it folks That is our episode for today Thank you so much for stopping by And hanging out with your boys Frank where can they find you the Frank Alvarez all over patreon.com slash the basement yard sanagatostudios.com for the new merch the basement yard.com for information on live shows and yep and Prisco on Instagram and you guys can go follow me at Joe Santagato go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram and go hit up Sanagatostudios for the merch and that is all see you guys next time
1:21:43And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller. Slap me. Let's jar something loose. Yes! I like that. The certified fresh series returns. Your boss. You always like this? Or is this just an act? Oh no, this is mad. Oysters, everybody! There is a certain satisfaction when you work with someone. Maybe we could be a family. You sadistic pig! The Paper. New season streaming September 9th, only on Peacock. This show gives me a reason to live.
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