#567 - Making Out In Public

27:07All of us. How about both of you? Fuck you. Why? You're going to piss your pants soon. I'm fucking putting a curse on you. The hex. You're going to hex me? You got to do that. Yeah. Do I have to do that? I pee my pants. That's fine. I like recently. No, no. I wouldn't do it. Soon you're going to piss your pants. Oh, shit. I got you. What's soon? Within the next calendar year. 365 days I'm gonna let a rip piss what piss rip all right it's not the biggest problem brother it would not be sick I piss a lot I'm not like it wouldn't be like a cute little like a little tinkle if I'm if I'm pissing in my pants the day is done I need to change are you like cursing while it's happening oh no it's like one of those just like oh i don't know that i can piss your pants like you know like i could definitely i think you could but you'd have to actively do it that's the thing is we've tricked our brain into not peeing on command like to into peeing on command i feel like it's so much easier to crap your pants and pee your pants because my butt i barely have control over like in a moment of crisis my butt is like you're on your own like he doesn't listen it leaves you out to dry yeah like my butt does not listen to me when he when he really has to go he's like i'm not even i'm not gonna don't even talk to me i mean don't get him even go don't get me started on stomach stuff we're talking strictly pissness here well that's what i'm saying but like my wiener is like always in tune where he listens he's like you know whatever and even i put him through hell sometimes because i'm on like i can't get to a bathroom and he'll hold on then like my my up my like bottom of my stomach starts to get it like hard you know what i do it does yo i swear to god same thing but You know what I do sometimes?

28:50I'll leave here and have to pee and forget. I'll be, like, early into the drive and have to pee. And then I'll just eat sunflower seeds and I'll just not have to pee. I think, like, the sodium will, like, reabsorb the piss into my body. Jamie, why don't you go look that up? I must have a harder job. If it works, there's something going on, whether it be— I think, like, if you have to pee—look up if you have to pee and you introduce sodium into your body. does that make you not have to pee anymore i feel like no okay i mean that would make sense though right because your body as you have salt your body retains more fluids but urine a waste if waste was sucked up into your body i mean that would be like but urine is mostly water so maybe it just like takes the water parts out of it and then there's just more concentrated urine i don't know what does it say so off the rip no eating sodium does not stop the knee from peeing actually the kidney response to more sodium uh actually results into more urine production over time you've successfully placeboed your body to do the reverse which is impressive honestly it's the power of thought and of of manifestation and we have manifested being able to piss less when having more salt well i'm eating something salty it's sucking up all the piss and so i don't have to piss anymore hey man whatever works what are we if not walking science experiments that's fair that is true i suppose yeah if you think about it you're just a meat suit walking around it's not weird not even you're a meat straw remember dr mike told us we're kind of like never mind like it's a machine but it's flesh isn't that weird i like that i don't know that it's a machine.

30:40A machine is metal. A machine of flesh. There is a mechanical component. Huh? There's a mechanical component. You sound like a baby. There is like mechanical-like parts to us, right? We have joints. We have electricity. We have joints. We have a literal battery, too, I guess. It's called the ticker. It is called the ticker. right that's all i got when i think about that my heart is just beating yeah like it's just beating all the time it freaks me out when i think about breathing dude me i'm like it don't get tired just like and it's just going all the time yeah like it's just always beating and like at no point the heart's just like nah we'll go dude you know what i do it does get tired that's the thing when i'm with when i'm hanging out with the kids like we'll be like laying in bed watching something i'll listen to their heartbeat and i'm just like this is fucking crazy dude yo it's a beating heart it's a beating heart and it don't stop ever it's just always what is that and we're just like trusting that it's gonna keep going to work i know it's scary dude and then when we get tired it actually works more it acts just i think not more but more efficiently because we have a slower heart rate when we're sleeping it beats faster oh but you mean tired like like when you're exasperated yeah when your body's tired oh i thought you meant like sleeping yeah oh no sleeping it comes down.

32:06Sleeping, that's what I'm saying, but it's apparently more efficient. Like, that's when your body heals the most when you're sleeping. Yeah. Something like that. Your brain literally cleans itself, too. Bro, my fucking heart rate. So do your eyes. Your eyes heal themselves. Body's fucking nuts. Vaginas. Vaginas. Self-cleaning. Self-cleaning. Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes. What do you mean sometimes? Like, sometimes it gets out of whack. It happens. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm just saying sometimes They know Sometimes there's something wrong Yeah, yeah No, no, I get that Generally though They're known as self-cleaning body parts There's a joke in there About gender roles and cleaning And vaginas and women Yeah, we're not We're not those guys I don't quite know what it is But it's in there We're not those comedians To try to find Yeah, you know women They're always cleaning

33:02you know what work that out for the shows and see how that goes i'm sure it'll go stupendously speaking of the shows that's right we got some submission stuff that we want to talk about why don't you do the ads first and then i'll talk about them yeah we have some ads here uh the first one being this lovely box of magic spoon magic spoon if you guys don't know it's a high protein zero sugar cereal um and it's amazing okay this one is their fruity flavor it is awesome i love it but not only does it taste good but each serving packs 12 to 14 grams of protein so that's high protein zero to two grams of sugar and it tastes really good even though it's only zero to two grams of sugar four to five net carbs certified gluten-free so it actually keeps you fueled for the day so this is a great substitute or honestly just a great meal to have in the morning and it's great it's keto friendly gluten-free grain-free soy-free wheat-free naturally flavored and it's delicious and it's, you know, it's amazing.

34:02So go try it out. They also have these treats, which I always keep in my house and they're amazing as well, but they're crispy, airy, protein packed snack bars, 12 grams of protein, seven grams of fiber and zero grams of added sugar. Okay. And they're great. It's like a little bar like this, bang, bang, boom. I've had all of the flavors, all of them are good. And they're great. And with these, there's a bunch of different ones too. There's like Frosted, there's Cocoa, there's Cinnamon Crunch. That's my favorite. But yeah, they have that as well. But they have a bunch of stuff at Magic Spoon. It's kind of all centered around being high protein, low sugar.

34:42And yeah, it's great. So go check it out. You can look for Magic Spoon on Amazon or at your grocery store, the grocery your store nearest you and you can get five dollars off your next order at magic spoon.com slash basement okay so go to magic spoon.com slash basement to grab yourself a box of this or some of the the the treats and yeah that is magic spoon.com slash basement go get that and get five dollars off your next order this podcast is also sponsored by better help better help is online therapy so if you want to talk to a therapist you can do so in just under 48 hours with BetterHelp, they are going to help you pair.

35:17They're going to help you get paired with a therapist and help you out. And I've been in therapy for years now. I think that everyone should be in it. I think it's very important. And it's great to have like a non-biased person in your life that you can talk to and get advice from, or they can help you work through some of your own issues or whatever, even nothing traumatic, just anything. And I think that it's helpful for everyone so i would definitely recommend it and uh yeah you can definitely go check them out better help uh visit betterhelp.com slash basement yard um that is betterhelp.com slash basement yard okay more than six million people have used uh better help globally so definitely go check it out betterhelp.com slash basement yard and while you're sitting there and you're perusing the internet why don't i give you a couple extra places that you can go and check out The first of which being Patreon.

36:11Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard is the subscription service we use here to give you guys more of us and a little bit of us, a little bit extra, a little early, you know. It's a lot of fun. You guys have been so incredibly supportive and wildly fucking just making our dreams come true over here. Over 51, close to 52, over 52 ,000 of you guys are supporting us over on Patreon. on and we want to thank you guys and try to entice the people that haven't come on over a little come on over come hang out and have a little fun with us check out those tiers that first tier you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance and then that second tier well guess what you got exclusive episodes what the fuck every single friday so you could start your week with an episode a new episode of the basement yarn and end your week with a new episode of the basement yard and then you got uh the the Santa got a studio's in the middle there there's so much there's so much going on here and we want you to be a part of it so go check it out at patreon.com slash the basement yard thank you so much and and guess what if you join by the way you get everything if you're brand new you get everything that had come before so you have hours and hours and hours of episodes on there for you to peruse and take a gander under the skirt so go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard and then we got a new store sanagatostudios.com you're going to see some new merch options up there they're fun they're a lot of fun you're definitely going to go on to check it out and see what we got there we had the studios fc jerseys that you guys seem to really like and there's new stuff being made all the time so go to sanagatostudios.com and take a little look over there because there might be something over there that you like and you know what i got one more for you the basementyard.com what are you going to find there That's a great question there, Jack.

37:54You're going to find information on our live shows because we're going back on the road and doing more live shows. We are very excited. We have been figuring out exactly what run a show is going to look like, and we want it to be interactive because you guys have been so supportive, and it's been so fun getting to talk and interact with you guys during these shows, so we're doing it again. So during those first two rounds of shows, we did those cards where people submit cards and we're like, oh my God, what are these are crazy stories? And we talk about them sometimes to the person and what have you, or sometimes they're endearing.

38:24Now this time you're doing something similar. You're going to thebasemanyard.com slash submit and you're submitting an out of context photo from your camera roll. It could be anything that you want it to be. It could be funny. It could be silly. It could be endearing. It could be crazy. It could be kooky. It could be who knows what. But you are going to go. you're going to tell us which show that you're attending you're going to upload a photo i'm sorry i sneezed and then you're going to tell us the story behind that photo so you can include your name if you want but it's a lot of fun and we're excited to have that to be a part of the show so go check it out the basement yard.com submit we're excited to get back on the road we're excited for everything and we hope you're excited too I apologize for sneezing guys I couldn't help it Do you stop sneezes?

39:12I know people do like the whole like pineapple thing Which I've tried But like can you stop your own sneezes? I think if I try to If I swallow a lot Like if I feel like a sneeze coming on I just swallow a lot but I don't think anything helps Mr. Swallows a lot get him chat I did what Ant does He chatted you I hit you with a chat I hit you with a chat I did what he did That was homophobic Was it? I don't know I missed it Oh no I apologize That was not my intent Well Well then you did it You hit him with a chat I could hit you guys with a riddle If you want Fuck me I got one Let me drink my water before I start screaming A Johnny Whoop thing Sort of it's a verbal one So you're just going to tell me what can touch And what cannot touch Simple as that Tips.

40:05Yeah. Right. So I'm going to go apples touch, lemons touch, oranges do not touch. Not cool with oranges. So you need to tell me. One more time. Apples touch, lemons touch, oranges do not touch. Not one bit. So you need to give me things that you can put in a category of touches and cannot touch. So apples touch. Apples touch. And lemons definitely touch. Lemons definitely touch. Apples always touch. Apples always touch. Lemons always touch. Lemons always touch. Oranges never fucking touch. Never touch. Grapes touch. Grapes do touch. Yeah. Blueberries don't touch. Blueberries do touch. They do.

40:49Xbox controllers touch. Xbox controllers do touch. God, no. I have no idea why they do. Friends touch. Friends do touch, I believe. For another example So like here Tables touch Chairs do not touch They don't Tables Touch Ladders Chairs Wait Okay ladders do those touch or not Those do touch I don't think ladders touch Because I thought it was a syllables thing like ladders tables is it because chairs chairs don't apples apple two lemon two oranges that's three so maybe to be clear an orange also does not touch orange that's two oh oh damn because that's too like apple and lemon what the hell plants touch yeah they do Trees do not touch Fuck, now I'm getting angry, god damn it Is it like the generality of it Like the category touches But the actuality, like the specific thing So like it'll be like Plants touch It'll be like Trees Planes touch But a 747 Dreamliner doesn't touch A Dreamliner does touch A Dreamliner?

42:23Planes touch Do bats touch? Bats touch What the fuck What about an ass Ass does not touch Balls touch

42:43Yo I'm an idiot I wonder if anyone at home has it yet Oh wait apples touch Apples touch Why are you saying it like that This is why he's doing apple You know like Apples touch Oh alright hold on hold on hold on hold on Feet touch Feet Feet I believe feet do touch Feet Cars do not touch No they don't Cocks touch Cocks do not touch Fuck god damn it Now I just look like an idiot for saying cocks Yeah yeah yeah Bikes touch Bikes do they God damn it Bears touch Bears touch Coyotes do not touch Coyotes A reclining chair does not touch A reclining chair does not touch I got it I don't think he has it I don't have it one bit Do you think it's like something to do with the It's gotta be the spelling Or the letters and the words or something like that Always is Okay what about this America does touch Right Australia does not touch That doesn't help at all I promise it does help Promises touch Secrets don't touch You're just saying words Like you're just saying words like we're gonna fucking get it Joe's trying really hard I'm like right there Promises Yeah they do Oh Oh I got it Do you?

44:19Yeah I do I don't think he does I have it um hands touch hands no do oh maybe it does have it do not touch uh-oh no but i know it but thumbs yeah i know it see this is where this is how these this is my favorite part when joe does this is your favorite part where i'm fucking angry because you guys have ganged up on me well it's like uh you have to think very like abstract about like obviously it has nothing to do with the words well i mean like the definitions of the words got it you know what i mean like it's never that no see that that that's literal like it's about the words but it's not about the definition of the words that's not helpful um like hats don't touch caps so so the reason why i was paying attention because he was he was saying it weird right one of the words what were you saying like apples or something he was going apples right yeah what he was doing that though right yeah yeah so like paying attention to that like why would he enunciate apples right is it like something like it starts with a vowel no because lemons no no no uh lemons touch yeah app apples lemons oh i got it i got it i got it all right hit us a word i got it

45:49Coke Doesn't touch Coke doesn't touch Pepsi touches So Cat Doesn't touch Puppy touches The touching is the lips I got it Not bad, not a bad one That sucked all away I fucking hate those things I hate those things Because I know, part of what makes me hate them is I know that you sit there like, I know and they don't. Well, that's exactly part of that, yeah. Like, you sit there like you're a horny little fucking bastard. Like, you're just like, I haven't. Horny? Oh, okay. I feel like that went. Speaking of horny, did you guys see the video of two people getting caught making out super hard? I did, yeah.

46:34Like Madison Square Park or something? I think it was Central Park. Jesus Christ. I don't know if I can play the video. Don't play the video. No, I'm not. I didn't say I was going to. I'm just saying, okay, that is the photo. And, like, I will say this. They're going for it. They're going for it. It looks like it. You know, it's like. He's, like, hunched. He's, like, leaning. Yeah. We are, like, minutes away from a full-blown. Really? Like, just go and just fully, like. I'll tell you this. I don't know if there's been a time in my life where I've had a back-of-the-head makeout that hasn't resulted in full-on coitus.

47:11Yeah. And full on. And thumpting. Yeah. Insertion of the things in the bag. The bag. Good for you. The bag. Oh. You heard back, brother. The bag. Yeah, well, I'm like, in the back, and I'm like, we're learning things about Joey today. Okay. No, no, no. In the bag. That's my bad. The bag. Not saying the bag is any helpful. B-A-G. Yeah. You know what I mean. No, you got it. But, yeah, I mean, I will say this. Filming people making out, very weird. I just, I don't make it out in public, though. That's weird, too. Yes. I, because the internet was kind of, like, divided where people were saying, like, they're fucking weird.

47:55They should stop making out in public. And then someone's saying, like, also, why are you recording them doing this? And also, pull it up. I'll tell you this. thank god middle school frankie that there weren't these social media sites like this because i was i was kissing in public oh you know what you're gonna say i was kissing in public were you you were a make out like on the train in front of people yeah really yeah i was never like that yeah well what are you gonna do you like you were making out with girls on the train I'm not saying it was like like I'm not saying that it was the right thing to do but it happened I would like make out with my middle school girlfriends in the hallway but sometimes how is that better than yeah hold on Joey how is that better than a park bench no no I'm not like between class not like when everyone's in the hallway like while class is in session there's less people in the hallway I'd be like, wait like five minutes and then maybe in the stairwell.

48:59I think that's more of a stairwell thing. Yeah, that's what I mean. Oh, okay. Hallway is different from stairwell. Okay, not in the hallway where everyone's there. Hallway is like they fucking look out the window and they're just like, there's Joey and, you know. Dominicana Princes. Yeah. So, middle school hallway and bus? I mean, like, park. Park bench. I'm not sitting there like it was like we were just fucking for the whole time. I mean, I would make out in a park, but it would be at night. In an alley or something? For sure, alleyways. Yes. Alleyways is big. I remember that. Yeah. Alleyways is a big one.

49:33I see both arguments here where people are just like, hey, if you're going this intense, pull it back a little. I think that's the intensity of the kissing. Because people kiss in public. I kiss in public. I have no issue with PDA to a degree. Looking at the hand placement here. It's bananas. This is getting close. I don't know how I feel about people like making out that feels very intimate but also like as a society that we have been like I'm just gonna open my phone and record and walk up to these people that's crazy that's bananas yeah that's weird like allow me to help you off of that high horse that you've been riding I think that if you're gonna be making out you either have to be in like a dark bar slash cocktail lounge or like a club but if you're just like making out i'm gonna name some places at like a restaurant like a like a cafe i'd be like this is nuts i'm gonna name some places you give me your thumbs up thumbs down on if make out is appropriate yeah okay let's start here uh nightclub of course what else are we there for That's a great point.

50:44I mean, to dance. Yeah. Enjoy yourself. Not at 21. The zoo. Making out at the zoo is nuts. What animal are we by? That's a great. See, this is why. That is a great question. Flamingos. Okay. It's a little better. How? Is it kind of a pretty bird? What's the line of thinking? Pretty bird. Gorillas. But you're still in public around a place where children frequent and you're making out. I would do it if it were around the gorillas because I'd be like, I'm going to show them what making out is. You want to show animals a lot. I'm going to show them what's going on. Central Park. No, I personally would not.

51:32Under a bridge in Central Park. I'll get engaged there. Which arguably even more intimate. No. You're right. I don't know. That just came out. Well, not mister. Things are about to happen in the back. That's true. It's the bag. Yeah, I don't know. For me personally, like, and maybe, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong and people feel differently. But, like, just making out, especially with the hand behind the head is like, whoa. Once the hands get around the ear. Just go have sex. Just go. I mean, not always as easy for people. I mean, they appear to be at the beginning, middle, or end of a work day.

52:18Clearly something went, like, I don't know the situation between these two, but clearly something went well because they're in suits, like, work. Like, they're doing something. Something went well. Aren't they lawyers? Yeah, I think they're lawyers. I don't know the situation of, like, if this is, like, a not good thing. Oh, you think it's like a Coldplay concert where, like, they got caught in the act? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, that has nothing to do with me, but I just think that making out in a park, regardless of your, you know, status, is a heavy move. Yes. Yes, I agree. To a degree. I think that the intensity of the make out, like, I guess maybe even just making out, like, I think we're at passionate kiss level now.

53:01i even that like i think that like just giving a kiss is like is very nice and like like appropriate but for me i just it feels so intimate to be like we're gonna make out and there's gonna be like straight i don't know yeah i get it i i think i honestly have more issue with the person that felt like i'm gonna film wait until i wait until the internet sees this yeah and it's just like dude you suck yeah like you we have become just like the the idea of getting a tweet or a post to go viral has yeah become more powerful than like invasion of privacy is it is it weird to say like i'd be fine with this i think as long as they're not making noises noises like like you know how do you make out you know what i'm saying it's like make out with your hand right now and explain you know i'm saying like making like a moaning kind of noise yeah yeah like as long as they're not doing that yeah yeah yeah pretty much yeah i got you yeah as long as they're not doing that be like oh that's i mean you have to that's how you make out yeah yeah you're right i don't make out silently yeah that's fair we're learning a lot about joey today i guess what if you're gonna make out i mean i'm not sitting here i'm not saying you're wrong but like you gotta throw some passion into behind a make out you can't just be like yeah especially if my hand's going to the back of your head?

54:20If the hand's in the back like that, like, I'm sounding like a fucking wolf. It's not even like, you're not even kissing at that point. You've just lined your mouths up to create the most intense amount of suction between two humans. Respectful hand placement to me. These hands could be much worse spots for a public bench. Well, I think the dude's hand, that's the most intense spot you can get. Besides, like, grabbing a boob or something. No, I think there are way more intense spots for public. You could get down there. Oh, yeah. I just, I get, I get, and I don't want to drag these poor people.

54:51Like, I don't like that. The, I'm telling you right now, if I was a bystander and I saw someone do that to another couple and they get into it, I'd go up to the person that was recording them and be like, you're fucking weird. Yeah, like, why would you? Like, who do you think you are that, like, you're the moral authority on this and, like, you're going to what? Like, what's the end goal with this? You're going to be proven right? I honestly don't think there's a moral issue. I don't feel like I would like I wouldn't see people making out and be like those people are disgusting I'd be like I would never do that yeah that's pretty much where my the extent of my like I'd be like well I wouldn't do that but got like you know clearly they're horned and ready to go I also think that there is like a lot more context needed like if this is at a playground where there is like a bunch of young children playing I mean they're in a park I know but like there's different especially with like New York parks like they're not all like geared toward like young kids yeah I mean they're not if they're sitting on the top of a slide then I'd be like guys they're on the monkey bars yeah yeah that would be a little weird kids waiting to go down it's like hey hey you guys done yeah if they were doing this in a McDonald's ball pit then I'd probably have a problem with it honestly but yeah it's fair like do your thing I told you by the time that I saw a couple making out at a bar super hard and then the dude pulled back and he said wait who'd you vote for and he left yeah just booked it how do you get that information via kissing I it must have been part of it before because they were making out for a while it must have been part of it before and it was a darker bar but they were at the bar which I think is a wild place to be making out like like sitting at the bar yeah I'm not justifying it but I think once you add alcohol into it there is obviously less decision making there

56:44that's what it is it lets you down a little bit it was also a whiskey bar so two drinks there a whiskey bar yeah good night where long island city is that not the drunkest place on the planet um where you can't get a beer can you i don't know but it's like supposed to be like it's a whiskey first i understand i get the concept but like i'm not sure i don't think you can if you see two people intensely making out at a whiskey bar yeah that is a that might be the i don't even know how to explain it like that is so intense it's just am i not crazy for that like that's that seems like that's like a tequila bar like whoa these people are drunk yeah i mean they didn't seem like sloppy drunk or anything they just seemed like super making out with each other and then he was i just feel like whiskey is one of those alcohols that gets you quickly there yeah it could definitely catch up to you and get you going for you know what i mean like so like it's not like you're gonna be like a moderate buzz like you're either not drunk or you're drunk you're turned up yeah you know well i'm glad this kind of passion exists in the world i fully agree yeah i'm all about people making out with their uh their people super hard i just personally wouldn't do it in pub for reasons like this too i wouldn't want someone running up on me with a camera that would be weird it's like joe sanagato spotted in the park making out it's it's also unfair that you can't just like smash their phone on the ground you probably could yeah but i mean guess what that video doesn't get out there if i take it you get in trouble for that but it's like it's i feel like you should be able to like that's the thing if that guy stood up spike it yeah and this video never if this guy stood up and took the phone, that video's never getting out.

58:31I don't know. Yeah, but then you get in trouble. It's just, you get in trouble. I mean, I agree. I'm not gonna, you know, encourage criminality. You know how I love to not be a criminal. Right. I love it. Well, that's good. Not like some people's dads here. Stealing limes. You're guilty of your own crimes. Hey, man, I'm not gonna bring up your crimes, but... But before we get to the rest of these crimes... I commit no crimes. We have some sponsors here. The first one being SeatGeek. SeatGeek is where you're going to want to get all your tickets for if you want to go to a baseball game, you want to go to any sporting event or a concert or anything like that, you can get your tickets on SeatGeek.

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1:00:57But yeah, it's great. And let's eat real. Head to factormeals.com slash basement 50 off and use the code basement 50 off to get 50 % off and one free breakfast item per box for one year while supplies last until October 31st, 2026. That's code basement50off at factormeals.com slash basement50off at factormeals.com. See website for full details. Again, that is factormeals.com slash basement50off. All right. So go get some of those good meals in you, ladies and gentlemen. I love a good meal. I do love a good meal. I love a meal. I love a good one. You love a meal? I love a good meal. oh i made a good meal you don't like a good meal are you getting attached to the word meal it's one of those things if i say it like five more times i'm gonna be like that's the weirdest word on the planet yeah i haven't done that in a while where i got a word i'm like is this right i i love the word pumpernickel just a good word what even is it it's i know it's a grain Like it's like a isn't it?

1:02:05I don't know. I think it's a grain But pumpernickel just a great I also I'm not a big fan of the taste it like is like super fine Oh, it's it's like gray. Oh It's the name of like the type of bread. Yeah, I thought it was a grain of course ground whole rye grain Yo, bread so fucking good dude. I love bread dude. I love bread dude bread so good I'm such a little like if because because I've gone through different like dietary restriction phases and stuff like that the two things that are the most difficult for me to not have or limit bread yeah cheese I can I can probably limit cheese really but like bread I can't I love bread and if I'm gonna limit cheese I'm doing no cheese I'm not doing like this is peanut shredded mozzarella i could do that if i'm desperate yeah really yeah i just like i'd rather have i'd rather have nothing than not something i don't enjoy and i'm trying to make work i mean i would enjoy it how do you know i've done it i've had it before like some of those cheeses i just i know what it is and i know it's not cheese and i'm like man but this just makes me miss more it just like further highlights how good cheese is cheese is really good and it's like nasty isn't it it is kind of fucking stinky and filthy it's like spoiled shit i don't know if it's always spoiled like some are like blue cheese is mold yeah what the hell uh gorgonzola talk about good word i haven't had gorgon that is a great word dude espos mom makes the best gorgonzola salad i've ever had in my life gorgonzola just sounds like the name of a 10 foot 500 pound man with one eye.

1:03:54It sounds like if there was a Greek version of the Power Rangers, what their Megazord would be called. Gorgonzola. Yasu! It is a Gorgonzola! Come on, right? I can't picture the Greeks doing that. Speaking of the back. Oh. They apparently invented butts. Yeah. Is that true? Look that up. Google. Did Greeks invent anal? Google so we can. I believe the Greeks invented sex, but the Italians introduced it to women, I believe is what the thing was. Is that the joke? Yo, hold on. Oh, is that the joke? That was a crazy thing you just said. Is that the joke? That's the joke. That's what your dad, that's a joke your dad told.

1:04:39That's the classic. Your dad seems like he'd be pumped to tell that one. But Italians, did Greeks invent anal? Did the Greeks invent anal sex? We want to search this on this This is his computer No! You're trusting AI No single culture or person invented that practice This is bullshit Which would make a little more sense if you think about it actually The Greeks invented sex The Italians didn't do it gaily It's funny to imagine the Greeks like inventing anal sex and then traveling on ships and getting to other countries and being like, you have to try. They show up in their togas with their fucking grapes and wine, and they're just like, guys, wait.

1:05:28We got a couple things that we're showing you here. Democracy and anal sex. And the Olympics. The Olympics, democracy, putting that thing in that butt. Right, exactly. I fully went my whole life believing that was true. I don't see, like, that's a harmless. Maybe they perfected it? Like this is an example of like a harmless thing to just continue to believe like there does it doesn't do anyone any bad If we just continue to believe the Greeks invented anal Right Like you think someone's gonna come out and just be like wait a sec It feels like the Mesopotamians actually did it it feels like a natural Like you would think that the first people that are like oh we do this it's like it's right there you know what i mean yeah yeah i once you try the the one you'd be like oh maybe these others also you got another one apparently too right like that one's got to be cool too wait so how many do you have right and then and then you or if it's if it's guy on guy they're just like well you only got one yeah what else am i what else am i gonna well i mean you got two you got two there's a couple yeah you got two you know there's there's you always have two you can give Right.

1:06:47But like, they're just like... So it feels like, how could the Greeks be the one that like... You know what I'm saying? Like, how could we go so much time and the Greeks are like, wait a minute. I think most history is traced back to the ancient Greece. Is it? Like ancient Greeks or the ancient Egyptians. Who came first? Oh, I... I was of the full belief that the world was... To my understanding... Completely like it started in Africa. Well, that's my understanding as well. So it's probably the Egyptians. Oh, this is a common question. Egypt, yeah. So it is Africa. Yeah, I think they say that Africa is the cradle of human civilization.

1:07:24Oh, by a lot. Yeah, dude. I think that Africa is like the beginning of everything. I believe, yeah, that's what I have heard as well. So you think... Pangea? You think in all those years. Well, that was before. Pangea was before humans, brother. I think Pangea was like dinosaurs. Well, I'm saying... Yeah. I'm saying like they're saying like... Never mind. Because they were like the center of Pangea, you're saying? Yeah. Got it. So in all those years. Was it the center of Pangea? Yeah, yeah. You thought that no one else decided to be like, what about the other one? Wait, how long was it? It's like 3100 BCE compared to.

1:08:00What's BCE even mean? That's before Christ expired? I mean, I think BC used to be before Christ, but BCE, I think, starts. Yeah, I think it's. It's something different now. It's still BCE. So neither of you have an answer? Great. It means something different. It used to mean before Christ and then Anno Domini was AD, but like BCE now means something different. Yeah, my question is what does it mean? I gotcha. Before common era. There it is. What's common era? I believe that's just like the way you say it without. Without being religious. Yeah. Some people don't. But I still don't know like numerically what it means.

1:08:33Oh, so BCE works. So if it goes from 3000, it goes up down to zero and then from zero up to 2026. So we are in the common era now. From zero to now? Yeah. Zero to now is the common era, and before that it was BC, so before. So 3000 wasn't the year 3000. It was 3000 before year zero. Wait a minute. I think you're making that up. No, I'm not. I don't know what's going on. It was counting down. The term BC itself appeared...

1:09:09We should probably talk on this podcast of ours. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, this is something that, like, you know, I went to CCD, so it was all, like, before Christ and after Christ, and I was like, well, I'm not even going to ask about years. It's like, what? Okay, this is the answer. So BCE is the same as BC. It corresponds directly to BC. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean, see, this is what's tough. When I say something that is right, you guys, like, have to look it up. Frank, you're right. 10 % of that. And I wasn't disagreeing with you. I'm saying I don't know. I was asking questions. But BC, so they say that like, so what, then the Christians believe that Christ was born?

1:09:49They start to - Like year zero? Well, I think that's when they start like figuring, like now this is like our linchpin Nexus event. Like we're going to start counting everything after this. Nexus event. And everyone goes by that? Well, I think that it was established with the whole like Christ thing in mind. And then other people have been like, you know what? We're just going to call it something different, but we'll keep it. But like other religions is my point. Like they acknowledge the fact that it's 2026. You know, that's a great question. I'm not as well versed with other religions like record keeping or like how they acknowledge years.

1:10:26What did you type? Do other religions go off BC also? No. Yeah, I have no idea, man. Oh, man, we're getting really interesting. I'm sure it all lines up in their own way. You know something I learned that is cool? And I might have brought this up before, but there were originally 10 months to the year. That's why our last month is December and DEC, DECA, is the prefix for 10. Right. November, 9, October, 8. And then Julius Caesar was just like, give me two months in the best time of the year and they're mine. That's why Julius Augustus, July and August. That's fire. That's kind of crazy that we just let him get away with that.

1:11:15I mean, I think Brutus had something to say about that. He was just like, you did what, dude? And the 32 other people probably had something to say about it as well. Feels like. What other 32? I think he got stabbed 32 times, right? Did he? By the whole council. Did he? I thought it was Brutus. I thought this guy was just like, yo. He was stabbed like Jon Snow. Really? I think so. Just everyone in a line. This is for so-and-so. You think there was one guy who was just like, this is for those random two fucking months, douchebag. He was stabbed 23 times. 44 BC. By different people? On March 15th.

1:11:51This is so insane to me that we can do this. Like, learn anything? Yeah. I mean, this is all AI. Like I said, take it with a grain of salt. This is pretty... Take what with a grain of salt? That is AI. This is pretty common. Like, this is... You know AI's not making it up. It's, like, pulling information. I know, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it's pulling accurate information. I mean, it's pulling it from, like, Wikipedia. Only one of the wounds was fatal, though. You're not helping yourself. Wikipedia's good now. Is it? Yeah, they, like, keep on top of it, apparently. You know what I like to do?

1:12:27I like to go to a random Wikipedia page and then try to think of another Wikipedia page and try to get there in the least amount of clicks. I've seen that. You know? Wikipedia speedrun. Is that what it's called? Yeah Yeah, I like to do that So like go to that one The assassination of Julius Caesar See if you can get to Where do we want to get to? Ooh, where can we get? Hot dogs Perfect, beautiful Okay, so help me Tell me if you see something So we gotta get So scroll down I mean there's gotta be something about him Go to the Julius Caesar page And then adding the months Oh, and we get to 4th of July And we can get to 4th of July And then we can fucking definitely You made us waste a click Because we were already on Julius Caesar page Well no, that was the death of Julius Caesar Okay, so now we gotta get to July.

1:13:06This might include something about his fucking, like, putting the months and shit like that. Earlier life, we don't care. This might take a little longer than I thought. Yeah, it's a lot of reading, which is also not really good for... First of all, this is the longest Wikipedia page I've ever seen in my entire life. Where are the months, bro? I mean, on the left, there's like a table of contents. Yeah, it's cheating. This guy, Julius Sears, did a couple of takes, didn't he? Yeah, he did everything. He seems pretty important. Well, it feels like this game's over. Yeah, yeah. It's not a good podcast thing.

1:13:41All right, you guys go. I got it. I'll figure it out. Yeah, it's okay. Okay, never mind. It's fine. God, I wish I could find old-timey coins. Probably could. Where? Just at an antique shop or something? No, but like that. I'm talking like an ancient Greek coin. Like a shilling? Is that what they were called? No, I don't think so. That's like pirate money. doubloons i'm not versed i have no idea but it's still uh you still haven't we still haven't played the new assassin's creed we can go be fucking pirates again is that out yeah baby it's out i need to pop that bitch on probs if there's a if there's a thing where we could both be pirates on a ship together you want to do one yeah i love being pirates on a video game ship I know they were like really actually not good people in history, but like I'm cool with like the version of pirates that we have come to like where they're just like rum drinking, like hard, hard, hard, hard partiers.

1:14:40So I think if you paid attention to any of those movies, you would see that they're also bad people in those too. Cause they're like pillaging. No, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. But I'm saying like. A walk in the plank. Listen, I understand the atrocities of the pirates. You don't need to try to bring me back down to reality. What I'm saying, though, is that I like the version of a pirate that is not a bad person. Yeah. You know? Or it's like... Was he a pirate? Was he a pirate, technically? He was kind of like boys with the British. He was a mate. He was on the ship and fighting with a sword and stuff.

1:15:19He's Davy Jones. He did become Davy Jones eventually Oh did he? Yeah you didn't see I guess that Oh spoiler alert Yeah My bad Because he rescued his dad? Yeah His dad was Davy Jones No Who's his dad? His dad was taken by Davy Jones' people Who's the guy with the squid face? It's Davy Jones That was Davy Jones And then someone else can be him? Yeah if you stab him in the heart Then you become But like the heart is in the thing Oh it's like in a box Yeah it's not in him And then I get the squid face? Why the fuck would I want that? I mean, you don't get the squid face, but you just get to be like a fucked up barnacle face looking fucker.

1:15:55No, I think the squid face was only if you neglected like your duties or something. Then they'd give you a squid face. I'm not opposed to having a squid face if I'm a pirate. I'm opposed. Really? I mean, not that I want to be the other guys either. I mean, to be honest, if you're trying to be a pirate, you're gonna be taken way more seriously if you got a fucking squid face. just give me the peg leg and like a gun that shoots a lot of smoke out when I shoot it like a powder rifle? yeah I'd be cool, I would love a musket right now no I don't think you would first of all, wildly inaccurate second of all I'm not trying to kill anyone with it if you're going to have a musket just as like a wall art a piece of wall decoration fire that shit, I don't know I mean, yeah, I guess.

1:16:45That would be fun. Just a pack of fucking... I'd rather have a real pirate's sword. Like the ones that are like curved, like Shakira. What's that called? Shakira. Like it's got like Shakira, like an hourglass. You know what I'm talking about. It doesn't have an hourglass. It's one way. Yeah, but you know what I mean though. What? I would like a sword like Shakira. Yeah. Well, like any sword that has like a bend in it, you're gonna tell me that's not cool? Like, what are they called? Sickle? Shmatar. Saber? Scimitar? Scimitar? Yeah, like what they had in The Mummy, where it's like that, and then it's just like a half circle.

1:17:28Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be cool. I kind of like that. I like when people light their swords on fire. I think it's scimitar with an S. Yeah. I got it. Oh. I didn't pronounce that. That's not what I was thinking. Maybe sword? It's like the ones from Aladdin. Yeah, I don't know. That one, that one, that first one. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one. Brother, that's terrifying. That's sick. Could you imagine seeing someone riding, running, anything at you with that in hand? That's an Arabian sword. What was the sword that, like, they used in The Mummy? Where it was like a, is it a sickle? Is that the one that I'm thinking?

1:18:05I don't know. It's not a sickle. Is it not that one? No. The guys the fuck what are their names the guys that were on the horseback that were like protecting the two the magi The magi yes god You know universal the mummy. Oh, yeah, that's why he knows that's a great ride It is it is I don't think I've ever been it's kind of like that like the fourth one This one yeah kind of like that. Oh, I see what you're saying looks like one. Oh a Little more what the hell is that dude swords are fucking rad dude swords are cool Oh, there it is. Oh, those things? This? Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Cool as hell.

1:18:46I will say it doesn't look like Shakira. You know what I mean. There's the curvature to it. It was a joke. If you look like this way, it kind of does. All right. Those are cool. That's a cool sword, dude. It doesn't look very effective. Why not? What do you mean? Because I feel like it's just... I mean, not against someone with a gun. Yeah. You ever see Indiana Jones? I love Indiana Jones. He has not seen Indiana Jones. I've never seen Indiana Jones. We've gone over this ant. Sorry. What's like the best one? Raiders of the Lost Ark. First one? Yeah. And then the third one. Ooh, yeah. Does it hold up or am I going to be like, bro?

1:19:23I have no idea. Raiders of the Lost Ark is incredible. It holds up forever. Because it's set in the 40s. So it's not like it's like the 80s where it's like this is kind of aged out. Right, right. You know, it's set in the 40s. Or the 30s? Is it before the Nazis? I think it's right before. the 30s. Huh. Um. They're Nazis in the movie. That's why. No, I figured. I forgot about that. They find an arc. There's a book. I think there's a cool book in it, so. Love a good book. The Ark of the Covenant. Dude, just go home and watch it. Like, you're being kind of like a prick at this point for not watching it.

1:19:59What have I done? Oh. Oh. I just haven't seen it. I know, but like you haven't seen stuff. Yeah, but like at this point we've talked about it enough that like just do it yeah that's not convincing it's a great movie it's i would piece of american i'll text nicole and be like get this guy to fucking watch you know what that's that's you know that's a better route i'm sure you can convince nicole to watch fucking uh she might like it jones i'm sure i guarantee i guarantee she has seen indiana jones she may have i don't know i'll watch one of these movies that you like that i've never seen and then you watch a movie that I like that you've never seen.

1:20:38I don't even need you to do that. I want you to just watch what you want to watch. And I also don't even think of a movie that would be like that. Because I'm well-versed in movies. That is true. You have seen everything. That's not true. What have you not seen that's like a popular movie? Ooh. Recommend a book for him. He has to read. You got a better chance of fucking hell freezing over. That's not true. I'm reading right now.

1:21:06um what are you reading comic books and i'm reading a book on like marvel stuff but it's not comic books it's a i'm not getting into this um trying to think of a popular movie that i haven't seen that people would just be like what the hell is there one you have i don't think so you're also like a huge movie guy yeah like i've seen i've seen movies keith's seen everything too keith is one of those people that i think legitimately has seen most of what has come out. He literally will be like, yo, you gotta watch this movie. And it's just like I have never heard of anyone in it. I still haven't watched Oppenheimer.

1:21:40Me neither. I haven't seen Barbie. Ooh, I watched Barbie. I liked it. I enjoyed it. I haven't seen a lot of popular ones. I haven't seen either of those. I thought we were talking a little more like Indiana Jones era. Well, yeah, I am. I'm thinking of like if you haven't seen like Wizard of Oz or The Sandlot. Oh, I've seen Wizard of Oz. I've seen it. I mean, you're just gonna go over most popular ones. Have you seen The Sound of Music? Yes. I saw it too. It's whatever. I don't care. It's... I've not seen Citizen Kane. No, these are too old. I didn't mean that. I've seen Citizen Kane, actually.

1:22:07It's too... That's one of those things that, like, it's, like, you gotta go most pop... Yeah, most popular movie. Because if you go, like, best movies of all time, like, no, I haven't seen this, like, French new wave movie from 1960. I don't like... Shawshank, duh. Have you seen any James Bond movies? Yeah, but I don't remember which ones. I haven't seen the newer ones. I started watching... Hold on, go back to the top. Let's see which is the first one we haven't seen. Okay. I've seen all these. I've seen Schindler's List I haven't seen in a long time. I don't know what that is, but that one's too old.

1:22:37Twelve Angry Men I've seen. That sounds familiar, but I may be confusing it with something else. Good, the Bad, and the Ugly I've not seen. That's Clint Eastwood, right? Yeah, those spaghetti westerns, I've never seen those. I've seen it, but not in its entirety. Or if I have, I cannot remember it. Damn, I've seen a lot of these now that I think about it. Yeah, they're the most popular movies for a reason. Seven, It's a Wonderful Life, Silence of the Lambs, Saving Private Ryan. I've never seen the Samurai movie. I've never seen Seven Samurai, but I want to watch it. Saving Private Ryan I also didn't see until like three years ago.

1:23:06That's an intense movie. Yeah. That's one of those that like. Oh, we're getting into ones I have not seen. Life is Beautiful, no idea. City of God, no idea what that is. I don't think I've seen City of God. Oh, this is bad. Back to the Future, haven't seen any of them. That's a. You can watch the first and the second. The third you can. Haven't seen any of them. The third one's Cowboys, that's cool. Kill Bill, love Kill Bill. I've seen it. I haven't seen that. Spirited Away? No. Second one? Oh, no. So that's A Whole Bloody Affair. They re-released it last year, and they made the two movies into one.

1:23:39Oh. Yeah, it's the whole thing. Kill Bill 1 and 2 are fucking incredible. Parasite is so good. Parasite was really good. I just watched it again recently. I've not seen The Pianist. Me neither. I'm not into shit like that. Is that a Brody? Yeah. Yeah, nah, I'm not into it. I've also not seen the Brutalist. What's him and winning for Ist movies? Yeah, he loves Ist. Never seen Whiplash. American History X. I watched that recently. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, you would like Whiplash. It's fun. It's just fucking... It's just fucking J.K. Simmons verbally beating the shit out of Miles Teller. Hell yeah.

1:24:18Nothing I love more than... Across the Spider-Verse and Into the Spider-Verse are two of my favorite movies. Django, unbelievable movie. Usual Suspects is good. A little yikes, but good. Oh, you ever see Alien? Have I seen Alien? Alien and Aliens are really good. I haven't seen 3 or Resurrection. There's 15 of those. No, there's not that many. No? Well, there's a lot of Alien vs. Predator. You can watch them in a weekend. There's Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Resurrection. If you count the Alien vs. Predator, then there's like Prometheus. WALL-E's up here at 57? What a fucking great movie I just watched that recently for the first time It's good Really?

1:25:00Yeah First time I've ever seen it Oh man, I love it So like That shit got me pissed off though At humans? Just like Whoever was fucking with WALL-E Was pissing me off WALL-E It was making me very sad Raiders of the Lost Ark There you go Number 62 I haven't seen the new Dune movies Dune part 1 and part 2 I saw one. I just... And it's very sandy. Yeah. Too sandy for me. It's very sandy. It's very sci-fi-y. Oh, for sure. In Glorious Bastards. Well, it could be my favorite movie. A lot of modern sci-fi is built off of Dune and those original books. Wow. That makes sense. I mean, it's like sandy planets.

1:25:45Before everything. Star Wars. Literally the same... They call it in Dune, Spice. and then they call the same thing in Star Wars Spice. Like, it's like the drug. Hmm. Have you ever seen The Shining? Yeah, it's great. I've seen it in Mad Times. Oh, The Great Dictator. I actually watched that. You watched The Great Dictator? Yeah, dude. When the fuck did you watch The Great Dictator? I saw a clip of it once, and then I saw that they had it on HBO, so I was like, I'm gonna watch it. Coco? Holy fuck. Great movie. Good Will Hunting. I think I have fucking beat that movie up in the last four years. Toy Story?

1:26:18I mean, I've seen that more than I can admit. Braveheart, low-key. I might have seen Braveheart because of my dad. Like, I'm not kidding. That generation loves Braveheart. Brother, my dad had the two VHS thing and played that movie a lot. I remember being young and being like, are they showing their dicks? Oh, and at the end. And they were. They were showing their cocks. This and The Patriot. That is such a your dad movie. The Patriot, I think, was – I can't remember it, but I remember watching it and being like, oh, God, that was cool. Every family has that one, like, dad movie that they watched way too early.

1:26:56Mine was Independence – not Independence Day. Armageddon. No, no, no. Deep Impact. Mine was Full Metal Jacket. I saw that as, like, an eight-year-old. And I was just like, huh. Oh. Huh. You know? I was watching that, and my mom was in the room. and then when that dude blew his head off, she was like, this is dumb. Yeah, I mean, and then it gets all so bad after that when they go to Vietnam. Yeah, it's not great. Yeah. All right. Joker, Toy Story. Yo, Toy Story 3 might be the best Toy Story of them all. Lotso Huggin' Bear? I don't know what that is. Lotso. Oh, oh. I was about to. Now we're getting, see, like, we're getting, like, Lawrence of Arabia, the apartment.

1:27:38Yeah, but then we're back, though. It's, like, Heat, Scarface. Heat's good. Scarface is good. Reservoir Dog's good. that shit tore me to shreds bro there's like a lot of those old billy wilder movies like double indemnity and stuff that i haven't seen just because i'm like it's not my job to watch stuff like that and know it you know like yeah i could see like people being like well i i'm a movie reviewer for a living so i need to have seen amelie yeah well clockwork orange you've seen that of course fair enough there we go folks i mean that is all we have for today's episode i don't know we just went through a movie list for the last 10 minutes i don't know why but it's this episode we go crazy we started with me respectfully getting pissed on and then now we're ending with movies it's never ending never where can they find you frank uh the frank alvarez all over social media and uh at the basement yard all over social media and like we said earlier if you're coming to any of the shows the basement yard.com slash submit send in your pictures let us know we're really excited to get back after it and then patreon.com slash somebody's vineyard and you find me at antprisco on instagram you guys can follow me at joe santagato you can follow the show on tiktok and instagram at the basement yard and that is all see you guys next time