A year in High Performance - Handpicked

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1:53Hey everyone, it's Jake and Damien here. as we just sort of enjoy the final throws of 2023. Just a couple of days left this year. How do you think the year has been for you? You know, whirlwind really, Jake. When we look back and think about it, you think from the very start of the year when we were sat down with people like Ryan Mason we were recording, it seems incredibly close, but also like a long 12 months as well. I feel a bit like some of the high-performance listeners this year. You know, like sometimes we get messages from people saying things are tough but your podcast has really helped me yeah i actually think for me that's been this year like it's been a tough year in so many ways and actually doing these records speaking to these guests learning the things we've learned this has kind of been like that like the bright spots in the year almost for me you know right and any particular one stand out for that reason i think for me right is the the breadth of the people that we speak to so let's just sort of randomly pick a few people from 2023 uh in the sports world fernando alonso uh matt fitzpatrick kieran trippier in the entertainment world you know rylan in the leadership world james clear and shane parish you know i think it's i don't know it's weird it always feels like whoever we speak to there's just something that day that that makes me think oh that's interesting um and i was thinking that maybe we could just reminisce a bit but i think we should just get straight into this and just delve into a couple of moments from 2023 that stand out um it's always hard isn't it when people say to us tell me one of your favorite guests of the year because you're like well all of them yeah i found it torturous but also like a torturous pleasure to go back and have a look and the one that i wanted to offer up to just reflect on was will still and partly because we're both football fans but there's a lot of people that listen to the podcast that love football often from the perspective of an outsider looking into a world that often seems quite complex or difficult to break into or you know talent might be a barrier of entry obviously and he was a brilliant example of a young lad that came from fairly inauspicious beginnings he didn't have a particular talent to play football but he loved playing football whether that was kicking around with his mates or on the computer and yet somehow he's found himself making an incredible career in elite football over in France at the moment.

4:19Yeah, manager of Stade Ha, the youngest manager in one of Europe's top five leagues. What clip have you picked out? Well, the first one was just Will's own self-awareness that he described to us brilliantly because he almost used it as a superpower when he had to go into the dressing room and deliver his first team talk as a manager. Let's listen to the way he does it. you know when I took over it's like right I'm big I'm ginger I talk half decent English half decent French I'm from Belgium working in France and I'm gonna get things wrong deal with it Junya Ito he's Japanese he pretends he can't speak English but he can he pretends he doesn't understand French but he does eat rice every you know lunchtime for for a meal uh isn't gonna eat whatever we eat, isn't going to talk whatever you're talking about, deal with it Marshall Munizzi from Zimbabwe talks about cricket, runs a lot smiles a lot, eats weird things too makes a lot of noise but he's not the most comfortable in that situation, deal with it and I just went through every player and said right, we all have our own specifics, we all have our own weird traits of character, we all have almost that thing that makes us special don't hide it you know don't don't try and put it away don't try and be someone that i don't want you to be just be whoever you want to be just make sure you're there to win games i love that there's a really simple formula from tim galway the author of the inner game of tennis that says performance can be defined as your potential minus the interference that you allow to creep in and what will's doing there is just basically telling everyone what are the factors that might interfere with your judgment or how you build a relationship or how you get on with your job.

6:10And almost just by being able to articulate it, you remove it as an obstacle or as a problem for anybody. And then you can move forward with just getting on with, as he said at the end, we're here to win. I love the simplicity as well. Like, just deal with it. We're all different. You know, we're all got our unique points. And I think the fact that he calls himself out as well makes a massive difference. if he'd have just called out all of the foibles of his players and not sort of come for himself, I think it's different. But when he just says, look at me, I'm big, I'm ginger, it's great. Yeah, and it's that line, I'm going to make mistakes, deal with it.

6:46So you're only baking it in, I'm not perfect, I'm not going to be infallible here, but let's just accept that as part of the deal of working together. I think it was absolutely brilliant. And that leads us to his second quote that I want to share with us. remind me of this one a week later Vincent Kompany brings me up and he said oh well you know can't be my assistant at Anderlecht because Craig Bellamy just left yeah great and it was like you know perfect match I can be back in Belgium finish my coaching badges off work for you know one of the biggest clubs in Belgium and work for Vinnie Kompany you know it doesn't get much better than that so told RAS about it they weren't best pleased but they agreed in the end found an agreement with Anderlecht and then had a very honest conversation with Vinnie of drive up to Anderlecht, go around the training complex almost sign a piece of paper and then see Vinnie and it's like Vinnie, what am I doing?

7:50And I just couldn't see myself working in that structure, in that environment because it was Vincent Company's environment and I have the utmost respect for you know Vinnie Company's regime and his structure and his work but I couldn't see myself working in it and so I turn around and sort of think I've messed it up I don't want to work with Vinnie Company I'm not going to bring what he's expecting me to bring in that environment I'm going to be totally useless at doing what he's asking me to do I pluck up the balls ring him up Vinnie I think I made a bad choice oh right okay well that's fine thanks for your honesty I'm sure we'll talk again, speak again, whatever all the best that's it?

8:36yeah, that was easy I absolutely love that because you know sometimes the worst thing we can do when we make a mistake is we double down on it and we sort of pursue it even though we know we're on the wrong path of action but we've told people and we've made a commitment and I think it takes real courage to sometimes reflect and go you know what, this isn't for me and to have the honest conversation with whoever it is that you're having to let down. Because ultimately, it's your journey and it's your journey alone. It's also a nice clip because I think that we feel like special things go on in the world of football.

9:13It's not like the real world. Well, of course it is. That conversation has been had in offices and in schools and in businesses all over the world all of the time. People just making a mistake and not sure how to reverse out of that error. and I think for Will to talk about it really vulnerably is important. It's an easy thing to talk about when you've retired and you're no longer in the game. When you're a current top flight manager, to admit that sort of stuff is really important. Shall I take us to a guest? Go on, who have you chosen? So I loved the conversation with Shane Parrish, the author, the creator of the Farnham Street blog.

9:46I know you were super excited to meet him, weren't you? Yeah, I was. I read his stuff. I've done some of the courses of his decisions by design. And I just think he's a brilliant thinker. He's got the ability to take complex ideas and present them in a really simple, succinct way. So I think he is an empowerer. I think he is an empowerer of other people. He is a reminder of our own abilities. And I think there's too much in this world reminding people like, and I sometimes feel it myself. Oh, you know what? There's so much out of your control. You might as well just assume that everything's out of your control.

10:17Whereas he's reminding us that the thing that's happening is totally altered by your response to it. And this idea of hard or easy mode that you spoke about really resonated with me. Should we hear him talk about it? Go on, I'd love that. It's just being conscious about how am I positioning myself? Am I putting myself in the best position possible to have the best day tomorrow? If I were to talk to you tonight and say, what are the things that you can do tonight that are going to make tomorrow easier for you? And then you start thinking about that. Well, okay, well, here, I can go to bed on time.

10:49I can maybe not drink. I can work out tonight. I can meaningfully connect with my partner or my spouse. I can clean up the kitchen. I can read this book that I've been meaning to read that's going to affect how I perform at work tomorrow because it's on a topic that I do at work. Well, these are things 100 % within your control that you can do tonight to make tomorrow easier. And if you repeat that day after day, well, what happens? You start to be in an increasingly better position. One of my kids came home. I have two teenagers, a 13 and 14 year old. And last year he came home with an exam and tossed me this exam that I have to sign and said I did my best.

11:27So later on that night, I'm like, well, talk to me about what it means to do your best. Like walk me through this. I really want to know. I want you to be specific. He's like, okay, well, you know, the exam started at 10 o 'clock. I sat down. I looked at all the questions. I looked at all the points. I looked at how much time I had. I allocated my energy to the questions with the most points. I'm like, okay. you followed your test taking algorithm. And he's like, and I answered them to the best of my ability. And I was like, oh, that's really interesting. That is how most adults think about decision making.

11:59That is how most adults think about life. But let's rewind 72 hours here. What did you do leading up to this test? Did you fight with your brother in the morning? Yes. Did you eat a healthy breakfast? No. Did you go to bed on time the night before? No. Why not? I was cramming. Why were you cramming? I didn't study. I looked at him and I was like, you chose to play on hard mode. All of these things are within your control. They're things that you know, if I sat you down and said, how do you prepare for this test? You know, you can do all of these things. And if you do them, that doesn't mean the test isn't going to kick your butt, but it dramatically increases the odds that you're going to be successful on that test.

12:40And I think that's easy mode versus hard mode. Shane Parrish, what a guy. And the reason why I loved that clip from him was because I'd sort of got myself into this thinking that the thing is the thing, right? So when something goes right or wrong in my life, it's because of the moment where it went right or wrong. And what I've really enjoyed about that was, you know, he's obviously talking there about his kid doing their exams. It's a reminder that all of the things that built up to that moment is the reason why the moment went the way it did. So when good things happen, right, I think, oh great I've done something really well today and I've managed to secure something or win something or achieve something and that doesn't allow for all of the months of hard work of preparation of laying the sort of the groundwork of doing the thing that gets unseen that you never get celebrated for for months and months and months it's almost like you know failure or success is down the road really and I've never looked at it like that I've looked at it on the day when you get the failure or the success have you had a good or a bad day but it's actually he said have you had a good or a bad six months 12 months 18 months they got you there you know so shame would say to us i'm paraphrasing that what have you done with that knowledge because he used that phrase that knowledge is like money in the bank unless you invest it and do something with it it's actually doesn't count for a great deal so what have you done since you heard him tell you about that simple stuff and that's the great thing about this so from sorting out my clothes i'm going to wear like because i think me and you are the same right what what we're going to wear is almost the last thing we ever think about yeah and i would like be five minutes while i've got to leave the house going harriet i can't think of i've got no clothes i've got nothing to wear my wardrobe's a disaster and it just added stress into the day that was no good for anyone now i'm like harriet can i just have a chat with you tomorrow i'm doing this can we just have two minutes and she's like yeah she's amazing wear this try this perfect brilliant something like today we're interviewing like a really well-known sports person today i would be doing so many other urgent things in the build up to this i'd forget the important thing which is that these conversations need to be really bloody fantastic right and so i'd think about this for an hour or two beforehand not now it's like a week before i go through my diary and i put in three or four blocks so this this conversation today has had three hours of thinking and in all honesty previous conversations might have had still an hour and a half but an hour and a half before we walk in the room yeah yeah whereas this is now three hours in the week building up to it and i can sort of cogitate on it and stuff like that and i suppose that that leans into the second clip i wanted to play which i think makes it help it's really helpful for people to like what's the takeaway from this and the takeaway for me has been the line that he used you show me your diary and i'll tell you your priorities that's the big one so should we hear and sort of explain it in more detail yeah this was a really powerful moment i thought if you have 10 blocks of time a day and you spread them over 10 projects that's one block of time a day per project you're not going to move very fast I mean, you're going to feel busy.

15:33There's lots of switching costs associated with that, but you're not going to get anywhere. I think you need to narrow things down to two or three priorities. These are my focus. And if building a relationship and maintaining that relationship with my partner matters to me, I should be able to see that in your calendar. So don't tell me your priorities. Show me your calendar. What do I really care about? What do I really want to accomplish? How do I allocate my time to those things? So it's actually counterintuitive, but doing less leads to doing more. So that was also a big wake-up call for me.

16:06I thought if I was busy, then I was successful. You know, like I filled my day, yes. And this idea of you can do less and achieve more was again, like a total eye-opener for me. So I no longer now feel I have to, you know, when I showed him my diary, it was like 14 things are happening the next day. That for me previously was a really successful day. Like tomorrow I've got a great day, 14 things happening. Now it's like, what is wrong with me? Why do I think I can do 14 things in a day and be a good dad and be a good husband and be a good colleague and be creative and think about what's next and do those 14 things well, by the way.

16:37Yeah. So my diary now has three or four things a day, nothing more. The one thing I'd say there, Jake, is I'd catch you on. Like when you say what is wrong with you, the answer is nothing's wrong with you. I think you were thinking the same that what Shane explained is so many of us do that we're almost caught in the pursuit of busyness that we're packing our days. Why is Shane so popular? because he's solving, like if this wasn't a problem that everyone had, nobody would buy Shane's books, read Shane's blogs or care what Shane said. Like he's solving a problem that I think 90 % of us are struggling with.

17:08Yeah, and if there's anyone listening to this, I'd really urge you, go onto the app, go and download Shane's episode and I promise you, it'll set you up for a fantastic, hopefully 2024 ahead. Right, over to you again. Right, well, this is the one that, when people have asked me this year, what's been the one that stood out for you? I often think of, you know, like when you've seen any of those seminal interviews on TV with like, you see David Frost sat down with Nelson Mandela and things like that, where you come away and think, I've just met somebody where the world is a different place because you existed in it.

17:43And this, it was a real game changer for me. It was Dame Stephanie Shirley because her own story that we've told numerous times on the podcast of coming over as a young girl from as a refugee from world war ii developing a company of employing mainly women making early prototypes for black boxes falling off the sunday times rich list because she's built foundations for young people with autism like the world is a different place because she existed in it and i remember coming home from the interview and telling my own young daughter that she's going to walk through doors that she will never know were locked and barred from women entering them.

18:24And Dame Stephanie Shirley was somebody that kicked those doors down for generations that followed after her. So to me, it was a real privilege to sit down with her. And there's a couple of bits I wanted to highlight that really still linger with me and think about on a regular basis. The first one is this question that she asks herself. Let's listen to the way she frames it. My life was saved. now I was very young but what I remember strongly is well-meaning neighbors of my foster parents saying to me aren't you lucky to be saved aren't you lucky to be saved and indeed I was it's left me with the feeling that I need to justify my own existence and that's not a healthy feeling for a six-year-old.

19:17But it has driven me and is still there. I don't fritter my days away. I like to do something meaningful with my life, with the time that I've got. I think it all stems from that difficult early start. Dame Stephanie Shirley there from the start of this year. So a lot of people have suffered a kind of trauma and we're all too familiar with post-traumatic stress trauma that people will often endure after an event. But what we don't spend as much time on is post-traumatic growth of making sense of your history and using it as a springboard to take those learnings into something else. And that's a great example and a great inspiration for any of us that are going through tough times to realise that there are some powerful learnings from them if we ask ourselves the right question, like her question of how can I make my life worth saving?

20:11We can all come up with our own equivalent to say, how do we do something based on this? Nice. Should we hear a bit more from her? Yeah. Risk is not as risky as it might look. There are so many opportunities to recover from poor decisions. You restrict yourself so much if you don't take any risks and just stay within your comfort zone. and if you want a full life, if you want a meaningful life, risk is probably a necessary ingredient. Our bloody lover. Yeah, blimey. Yeah, breathtaking, isn't it? Yes. And that's one of the things that I think the High Performance Foundation can do where we're getting these messages into schools because we sat there afterwards and went, why weren't we taught about her when we were at school?

21:10and the reality is that the foundation is taking the lessons of the giants that have lived amongst us and trying to teach the next generation of what she's telling there the greatest risk you can take is never actually taking a risk she's fantastic right final guest i wanted to draw people's attention to is sekit istama oh wow as we talk the leader of the opposition and i think the reason why i really wanted to highlight this one again is this is nothing to do with politics it's nothing to do with are you on or not on his side. It actually is the hallmark of high performance, which is just lean in to anyone and everyone.

21:48It was a wake up call for all of us on the team that as soon as you speak to a politician, like vitriol and aggression and hurt and sadness and frustration gets hurled at you purely for talking to someone who's a politician. And our response to everyone was, look, this is not us talking to a politician. This is us talking to a person. and whether you're going to vote or not vote for him you need to be able to make that decision and the only way you can make that decision is understand the person that you're voting for so that's really why we wanted to speak to sakir just to get to know him as a person and he got quite emotional in the conversation didn't he and spoke about his father let's listen to him it's taken me much longer to work out my relationship with my dad because he was by nature more distant.

22:37It didn't feel close. I don't regret very much in life, but the last time I saw my dad, he was in hospital, died. And I walked away. I knew he was going to die. I just knew it. And I didn't turn around and go back and tell him what I thought. And I should have done. What would you have said to your dad?

23:11I would have said I love you. I'd have also said I'm proud of you. I'd have tried to close that gap

23:23that was so important to him in his life.

23:28I think the reason why I wanted to play that clip from Sir Keir Starmer is just to remind people that you might be a politician, but you're also a human being, and we are voting for human beings. They're human beings that are deciding the future direction of our country. And it's so rare for someone to be in his position and talk like that, I think, in a public space, isn't it? Yeah. When sometimes you see people respond like that, there's a cynical part of my brain wonders whether it's confected or they're doing it to get a particular reaction. But being in the room that day, the emotion was palpable.

24:07You could see as he was telling the story that his lip started to go and he was back in that hospital ward with his dad. And there was something very genuine and very sincere about what he shared with us. And the other clip I wanted to share is him talking about how he builds teams and creates cultures. Because I get really frustrated with career politicians. You know, people who've chosen politics to feather their own nest and forward their own ambitions in the world. He's already done so much, you know, being in charge of the CPS, being a fully trained lawyer. You know, all of the amazing things that he's done.

24:46So when he spoke about how you create a culture, how you make sure that everyone on the team is looked after, as a business owner myself, my ears pricked up and this is what he said. the other thing i learned at the crown prosecution service and it stayed with me is if you really want to know how to fix the things in the organization that aren't working ask your staff and ask your junior staff we had these hundred or so offices across england and wales and i'd visit each of them quite regularly at least once a year i trying to get to once every other year so do about 50 a year go out to these offices and whatever the program was for the day the first thing I'd do is say, can I just have 20 minutes on my own with the most junior staff with no supervisors in the room?

25:31And it was so insightful. And I asked them two questions routinely. The first was, what's the biggest problem challenge that you've got every day you do your job? And what's the workaround? And the second, equally instructive, I thought was, when's the last time your manager said thank you to you brilliant and it was such an insight into how you manage people how you lead people i think it's really good advice you know such a simple piece of advice that any of us can do into the just say thank you to the people that are there to help us support us and guide us and i think as we come to the end of the year of high performance I think simple is the word that I'd love to draw upon actually.

26:19I think all too often people try and overcomplicate what we're trying to do with high performance. But actually the truth is that this is just simple stuff. You know, we're just asking people to focus on the small elements of their lives. Try and do those to the very best of their ability. And trust that if they just focus on doing the right thing, then hopefully the right things will come their way and great things will happen for them. That's all high performance is. It's not about huge success, huge wealth, huge achievement. It's the small things. And I think the small things done right can take us to great places.

26:52Yeah. And I'd echo that, that that's how the year has been for me working on the High Performance podcast. I think we've been incredibly privileged to meet so many incredible, special, gifted people that have been generous with the time and their insights. And it's humbling in the extreme to just sit and reflect on a year like this, Jake. And I think what it reminds me of is, and I hope for listeners, as you go into 2024, go into it focusing on the small steps, not on the big leaps. And that hopefully leads to a happy new year for everybody listening. And as we sign off for 2023, I would ask you just to do one thing for us, and it will take a very short amount of time.

27:35Think of one person in your life that doesn't currently listen to high performance and let them know that we're here for them. because in January we have lined up a bunch of incredible conversations with remarkable people. And we have tried to create a January guest list that is going to set you on a great platform for the whole of 2024. So if ever there was a time to tell someone about this podcast, I sense that now is that time. Definitely. You know, that could be the greatest gift that you offer somebody to start the new year with. Tell them to get to the app store, type in High Performance and come and be part of our community where we lift, we inspire and we hope help everybody to live a life of high performance on their own terms.

28:17And finally, if 2023 has been a hard year for you, please remember everything passes. And if 2023 has been an incredible year for you, also remember everything passes and you never know what's around the corner. So we just hope that whether you're feeling in a great place, in a difficult place, that high performance is here for you no matter what. And we look forward to sharing the whole of 2024 with you as we go on another interesting 12-month journey together. Thanks so much for the support this year and from myself, from Damien, from the whole team on High Performance. Very best of luck. Happy New Year and I hope 2024 is all you hope it will be.

28:52Take care. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you soon.

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