Act Now or Miss Your Moment

0:00Unlock your next dose of inspiration early on the High Performance App. available now Gary Brecker the human biologist helping people unlock their peak health and performance hi this is Robert Mays from The Athletic the new Peloton cross-training tread plus is built to take your training to the next level I've had a Peloton for the past five years it has completely changed the way that I work out it's completely changed my relationship to exercise it's in our basement I use it virtually every single day I'm a huge fan of the platform I'm a huge fan of the library of classes that are offered. I cannot recommend the program enough if you're looking for a way to change your workout routine and really lock in to improving yourself physically.

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2:56Hey everyone, you're listening to High Performance. Thanks so much for joining us. How are you, Damien? Very good, Jake. How are you, mate? Very well indeed. All the happier for chatting to you about a topic that I think is going to be really interesting for our listeners. If you're new to the show, this is one of our short Friday episodes where it's just Damien, myself and you, along with some powerful ideas from the High Performance Archive. And today we're going to talk about a simple but life-changing truth, okay? If you wait too long, the moment might just pass you by. This episode we've entitled Act Now or Miss Your Moment.

3:30We're going to hear from some very well-known people who've faced all the doubt, all the delay, all the difficulty that you might be struggling with when they know the outcome wasn't guaranteed. Why does this matter so much, Damien, to make sure that we kind of seize the moment even when perhaps it doesn't feel right? Great question, Jake. And I'd refer you to the research of Tim Gilovich, a psychologist that has gone and interviewed people talking about regrets in life. And what the evidence tells us is that we regret 93 % of the things that we don't do rather than the things that we do. When people look back on opportunities that they didn't quite embrace, that will last longer and linger for us than people that have had a go at something and it's not quite worked out.

4:16I mean, I suppose the simplest way to put this right is that you're better to have a go. And if the timing isn't right and it doesn't work out, then you had a go anyway, rather than never have a go and spend your life wondering what could have been. But I also know, and so does Damien, that sometimes the cost of having a go and it failing is so painful, it's so huge, that actually it derails you and it holds you back. So maybe the most important thing that we should actually be doing with our lives is just making sure that if there is a glint of an opportunity, if there is that little moment where you think, oh, hold on a minute, the planets are aligning here, something cool might happen, that you are ready to go.

4:53And I'd love to kick off, Damien, if I may, with one of my favourite episodes we've ever recorded with the Springboks captain, Sio Colisi, and this idea of just being ready. Can I dive straight in with a clip from him? Let's go. Right, here he is, Sio Colisi, the World Cup winning rugby captain. If you have dreams, you have to believe them in everything. You have to believe them. Your grandmother, your aunt, your uncle, your father, your mother, your friends, they don't have to believe. As long as you believe in it, and you've got to work. You've got to work each and every single day. For me, because the opportunity will come.

5:34That's what I realized. The opportunity will come, or it might not come, but some people don't come. But I prepared each and every single day by going to training. and when the opportunity came, I was ready when I got my cursory. And when I got my scholarship to another school in the township, then I got my child to go to. I'll be training every day, not knowing that the opportunity will come, but I was prepared when it came. Most people complain and complain and complain. Opportunity presents itself. Now, that is such a great place to start, Damien, because how often do we say that we want something, we dream about it, we think about it, but we actually do nothing to prepare for it.

6:10And I guess one of the challenges here is that sometimes we don't know what we need to be preparing for. But I mean, I'm sure there must be some sort of research or some sort of science that, you know, there are people who act or live in a certain way where they can take advantage of opportunities better than others. Well, there is. It's called Preparatory Grit. It comes from a 2023 paper that was conducted at the University of Pennsylvania, where it found that people who consistently prepared, even when they don't quite know what the payoff is going to be, were more likely to succeed when unexpected opportunities landed in their way.

6:45I remember hearing Martin Johnson, the former England rugby captain, staying on topic here with Sia, talking about this, when I think back in the early 2000s, there were stories that the England rugby team were going to strike over a pay deal. And Johnson was saying that a guy had come up to him and said, you know, I'd crawl over broken glass to play for my country. And Martin Johnson went, I have crawled over broken glass and that's why I play for my country. I have done the hard yards, even when I didn't know what the payoff was. And I think this preparatory grit is something that, you know, we all live with uncertainty and ambiguity and we live in times of relative chaos, but just preparing ourselves, understanding the characteristics of the virtues that we want to demonstrate, do put us in a place that if opportunity comes up, we feel that we can take the leap without it feeling too high of a risk.

7:39So how do we do that? Now, I think that the quote that leaps out to me here is that excellence tomorrow begins with effort today. Great work is the best preparation for greater work. Oh, I like that. Excellence tomorrow begins with effort today. Great work is the best preparation for greater work. And the reason why I think that's really powerful and really important is because sometimes we don't know what the opportunity is going to be. Therefore, it's not possible to focus on the outcome. It's not possible for us to know what the thing is that is going to happen for us. So where does that take us to?

8:10Well, it means that we have to then focus on the process. We have to just do repeated great work. I think that the greatness tomorrow is planted in the discipline that we have today. And there are days that are mundane, right? There are days where great things are not going to happen. But those days are still a brick kind of in the foundation of excellence, if you like. And you and me, Damien, we've spoken to hundreds of champions on this show. And the truth is that they don't wait for the big day, do they? They make every day count. And I think a lot of this actually comes back to being kinder to ourselves when we're in the process of trying to do great things or in the process of the journey.

8:48Because when we're watching a game of football, right, do we just sit in silence and then cheer the players when the whistle goes and they've won the game? No. We cheer throughout the whole thing. Like when you're watching a tennis match, are you sitting in silence until someone wins 6-4, 6-2? No, you're cheering for every point. You're cheering for every game. It hasn't won them the match, it's won them the point. And I think too often one of the things that derails us from being ready for great moments, right, is that we don't feel that we should cheer for ourselves until we get the win. Well, how about we act like we do with everyone else in this world and we cheer them when they're in the process of getting close to achieving that great thing?

9:26because I think it just builds the belief that great things can and do and will happen to us. So when an opportunity presents itself, we're so used to telling ourselves that we're doing great things that actually great things come from it. Yeah, I love that, that virtuous circle. I mean, that was what Alan Wynn-Jones, the record-holding rugby union player, told us about and that we covered on the Essential Habits series around the IKEA principle where you love what you create. So he talks about this idea of just loving the hard work and eventually the hard work brought rewards and he continued to love working hard.

10:01And you get into that virtuous circle, I think what you're describing there, Jake, is really powerful for any of us, that we can all just start cheering for ourselves in the process of working hard, knowing that it'll bring its own reward eventually. And hard work, by the way, is one of the important things that you say there because that's absolutely essential to this conversation. What clip would you like to go to now? Well, let's go to Matthew McConaughey because he spoke about this idea of the hard work eventually paying off with his Oscar for the Dallas Buyers Club. Let's listen to him and explain how he used that as a teachable moment for his young son.

10:40Delayed gratification, man. Tough one to teach, but boy, one they need to know, you know? So also in parenting, my kids has helped. Talk to them about, hey, you got home. You got homework on Friday. You don't have school till Monday. You got an hour of homework. Hey, you got two hours of skill on Friday afternoon. You want to do it right now so you can have Sunday night free? No, I want to save it. All right, well, we might be playing footy in the backyard Sunday, and you're going to have to leave the game. No, no, I'll chance it. Come Sunday, you're out there playing around the backyard. You got to go do your homework.

11:08Oh, no, I wish I'd have done it. Yeah, you would if you'd have just nipped it in the bud Friday. You'd have had Sunday free. You'd have bought yourself a green light. I'm always trying to say, so how far down the line can we think? It's tough. You know, a kid doesn't project till tomorrow. Our kid doesn't even project an hour ahead sometimes, a minute ahead. But as we grow up, how far can we project? We make choices. We know we make certain choices today for ourselves. We're responsible to the things that we want to get that we know engineering wise will tee up a better percentage of succeeding, getting what we want tomorrow.

11:42Well, how far how far off can we think? You think next week, next year, five years from now, 10 years from now, can you think all the way to your eulogy? you know and think back so i've always just been i've always been entertained by that thought of okay not only let me think about the subjective i selfish thing i want now let me go be the eye in the sky the subjective third person royal we and have a look back and go what's this look like what's this choice going to look like down the line some people you can say they can go off to the eulogy and say yeah that's where i want to look back from but as far as you can get ahead of yourself just try to have a little objective look back and go what am i going to think about this decision tomorrow tomorrow morning i'm gonna go fit just it gives a little perspective and awareness if you do that man everyone can do that if you can do that that's as good as it gets um i think we're all chasing yet and if we realize that we never are going to arrive that's the point there is no yet it's always yet and then if we can go ah life's a verb it's the process Shit.

12:49That's as good as it gets. All right, I'm in. I mean, that's such a brilliant piece of advice there from Matthew because it correlates with the study that was done from a guy called Roy Bauminster who looked at when people can visualize their future self, they're twice as likely to make better choices in the present. Now, whether that's in the nature of the study, looking for how people save up for future retirement or whether it's looking at how they improve their health or their career or their relationships. Being able to project as far forward as possible and see yourself in that future gives you the chance of making better decisions in your immediate present.

13:28I love that. Well, talking about the immediate present, I want to go straight to a clip from Matt Fraser, who's one of the most successful CrossFit coaches the world has ever seen. And this idea that we need to be helping ourselves right now, help yourself in the present and see what happens. Can I share a cool story that he told us? Yeah, go on. nobody's going to throw you a lifeline and just be like, hey, let me fix your life for you. I heard one example years ago of when you're driving down the road and you see a car broken down on the side of the highway and somebody waving and trying to, cars will just keep zipping by all day long.

14:05I've been that guy. I've been broken down on the side of the highway and tried to get somebody to pull over. And it's impossible. As soon as you say, and you start pushing the car, now somebody's going to pull over so quickly people don't want to help somebody that isn't willing to help themselves but as soon as they realize that like oh you're on the side of the road you're pushing that car god knows how far then somebody's like okay they're trying to help themselves and then they'll they'll pull over and like either help you push it whatever it is you know that was one thing that i always kept fresh in my mind of when i was in those low points was one, I can either try to get out of it or sit here.

14:45And the end result of both is probably the same results I'm in right now. So the reason why I wanted to play that, Damien, is because I think this is a conversation about seizing the moment. This is a conversation about acting now, right? Sometimes we feel too weak to act now. Sometimes we feel that we haven't got the tools to make the most of an opportunity that's presented to us. and I'm an absolute advocate of the mindset that alone we can do so little, together we can do so much. You know, if you want to go fast, maybe you can go alone. If you want to go far, then you need to go with other people.

15:23And this idea that once someone sees you pushing your car, then they're going to stand up and they're going to help you as well. And the reason why I think this is so important and the reason why I think Matt's story is so important is because pushing the car, right, is about us taking care of our own needs, right? It's about us looking after our own physical, mental or emotional well-being. Pushing the car is also about us building our self-reliance. It's about us developing our own skills, our own knowledge and our own resources. But also, the fact that other people see us pushing that car and want to help us, it just creates this cycle really where your well-being is being enhanced as you inspire others to come and help you.

16:04I think that the idea of other people getting involved is this concept that, you know, strong relationships and a sense of belonging with other people are the most important thing that we can enjoy. And I guess in essence, really what I'm saying is that if you start pushing the car and other people see you and start getting involved, you're no longer doing this on your own. You're kind of promoting this holistic approach to life. You're encouraging, of course, your own personal growth. You're encouraging yourself to take responsibility for the situation that you're in, but you're providing an environment where other people can step forwards and help you.

16:39And we know that people are so excited to help people who are helping themselves. You know, how often, Damien, have you had a relationship with someone or you've met someone and they've asked you for some help and being the kind of guy you are, you've given them that help, right? You've offered what they want. And you've seen that they ignored what you said. They didn't do the hard work that you thought was vital. They didn't reach out to the person you maybe thought they should reach out to. And six months later, they come back to you and say, things haven't really worked out. Can I have some more advice?

17:07And you're thinking, well, no, not really, because you didn't take the advice I gave you in the first place. I read a term about that, Jake. Go on. A great phrase for them is an ask hole. Somebody that asks for your advice, doesn't do it, and then comes back and asks for more. So you're describing the work of an ask hole there. There you go. So don't be an ask hole, right? Get out and push your car. Because once you're pushing your car, people will go, oh, this is someone where, you know, How often, Damien, do you and I get messages from people on various social media platforms asking us to mentor them, give them some advice, share knowledge from the podcast?

17:44And I think sometimes the first thing you want to say is, or the first question you ask yourself is, is this like wasted energy here? How do I know this person is the person that's going to make the most of the opportunities or the advice that I can give them? And if you see they're the kind of person that is pushing their own car, then I think you're going to give them more advice. I'm still loving arsehole what an arsehole I'll give you an example I know a guy called Bill Bezik who was a psychologist he worked at Manchester United he worked with the England football team and Steve McLaren and then he worked with Stuart Lancaster with England Rugby I remember once him telling me that he gets loads of requests from people that want to say oh can I come and work with you and the first question he asks is so what local junior teams have you helped which non-league football teams have you worked out?

18:36Because the point he said is that most people want to get to the top right away rather than take the stairs and do the hard yards and make the mistakes in places where actually the benefit of your work and support can be incredible. So I think it captures that idea that people want to help those that are helping themselves, not the ones that just want to feel that they can take a lift right to the top of whatever profession they're aiming for. Do you remember Russell Kane, when we had him on stage in Manchester? He looked up to me going, can I just support you at the O2? Or, you know, how do I become a really funny comedian?

19:11And Russell's like, hold on. You see the guy in the gym with a six-pack and massive biceps. Do you think you could just ask him how he got them and you get them because you asked him? No, you do the reps. You do the work. You put the effort in. I think that's a really important lesson for people as well. You know, you don't know when the opportunity is going to arise. But in some ways, it takes us back to the very start of this conversation. is you do the work now so that you're ready for when the opportunity arises. And by the way, we had Lee Child on the show. You know, how old was Lee Child, Damien, when he wrote his first novel, when he took the opportunity of creating the Jack Reacher character?

19:45He wasn't 16 years old, was he? No, I've got real affection for this interview, Jake, because in preparation of Sitting Down With Lee, I'd never read any of his Jack Reacher books and I've ended up loving them, the whole series of them. that what makes it even better, though, is the story of how he created it. It was in his 40s. He'd been made redundant from his job. And he literally just sat down at the table with a pen and a piece of paper and just got on with it. Let's listen to him explain exactly how Jack Reacher came to be. I mean, it was in one way a super stressful period because I was 39, about to become 40.

20:26and that is like a classically bad age to be out of work. You know, tragically, it's too young to retire completely because you're not quite there yet. And so you've got to find something else to do. But nobody wants to hire you when you're 40 and you're sort of too old and too kind of tired by that point. It's halfway through your work and life, more or less. And you've gained a lot of discipline. You've learned a lot of things. You're a different person by then. You're not the idiot you were when you were 20. So in one way, it seemed like a really shining opportunity. And I played a psychological trick on myself, which was to completely ignore the negatives and just concentrate on the positives, which was, yeah, I can start over.

21:16I can do something different. I can be somebody new. And again, I played another trick, which was I allowed no doubts at all. I thought, I'm going to write a book. It's going to be successful. It's going to be OK, which is a ludicrous, delusional thing to do, because writing a book is like buying a lottery ticket, probably even worse odds than that, to be honest. And so but if you allow that doubt to creep in, you're never going to get anywhere. So I remember thinking, yeah, people would ask me, what are you going to do now? And I'm writing a book. And in my own mind, like night follows day, it was going to be a success.

21:54and people would look at me like with this rather apprehensive, worried expression like, he's also gone crazy. Such a great conversation. You know, it reminded me of that quote that, as you know, I love Damien, the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Yeah, well, it's cool. It's so true. And that's why I was thinking that, again, there's another incredible guest that we've been fortunate enough to have on the podcast, but also to spend some time with her in different environments, including at the foundation dinner where she spoke so movingly about her own career.

22:30I'm talking about Sabrina Cohen-Hatton, the chief firefighter at Sussex Fire Brigade, but also the PhD neuropsychologist who has studied about making decisions. She's found that asking three questions has improved the quality of decision-making by over 80 % in the firefighting world. And I think those same three questions can almost help anybody listening today to think, how do I take my opportunity now? Question number one is, what do I want to happen? What's my goal? What's my objective here? Question number two is, what do I actually think will happen? And then the third question is, and how do the benefits of taking action outweigh the risks?

23:15Now, if you can ask yourself those three questions, I think that puts you in a really strong position. to decide whether to take the opportunity now or to accept that it might be something that has to pass you by. I think that's such a powerful thing to talk about, Damien. And, you know, this idea of not letting things pass you by, right? We all can live our lives with regret, thinking what about those moments that I didn't take? But I think regret is a story that rewinds. I think action is a story that begins. And, you know, going back to that quote about the tree, the second best time to plant the tree is right now.

23:49So take the advice you've learned from the likes of Sabrina and everyone else that we've just spoken about in the last half an hour and start the business, learn the skill, fix the relationship, have the conversation. Because what did we say at the very beginning of this conversation? We said that it's the hard work right now that can prepare you for when that moment comes. Because right now is where momentum lives, right? It's where every comeback starts. It's where excuses die in the moment. Right now is where progress starts to take a breath. And okay, you might be listening to this in your 40s, 50s, 60s and thinking that you're late, right?

24:23But you're not late. You've got roots that are just sort of waiting to grow. And I think there is still time left. So let's all stop waiting for the perfect moment for everything in our lives. Because actually, that perfect moment is already here. So as the stomach said, the second best time is right now. So plant the damn tree, right? Thanks a lot, Damien. Thanks, Jake. Really enjoyed this conversation. Again, I think it's as inspiring for us as hopefully it is for anyone that's choosing to join us on this journey. I hope so. Keep on chasing high performance. Keep on sharing these episodes with friends.

24:56Please hit follow if you can and we'll see you again soon.

25:21Hi, this is Robert Mays from The Athletic. The new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus is built to take your training to the next level. I've had a Peloton for the past five years. It has completely changed the way that I work out. It's completely changed my relationship to exercise. It's in our basement. I use it virtually every single day. I'm a huge fan of the platform. I'm a huge fan of the library of classes that are offered. I cannot recommend the program enough if you're looking for a way to change your workout routine and really lock in to improving yourself physically. Powered by Peloton IQ, it plans your workouts, tracks your progress, corrects your form, and gives you real-time coaching so you can push harder and see real results.

26:02And with the swivel screen, you can go from running to strength training with one smooth spin, keeping your routine balanced and your body ready for anything. Let yourself run, lift, flex, push, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.com. If you're a maintenance supervisor at a manufacturing facility and your machinery isn't working right, Grainger knows you need to understand what's wrong as soon as possible. So when a conveyor motor falters, Grainger offers diagnostic tools like calibration kits and multimeters to help you identify and fix the problem. With Grainger, you can be confident you have everything you need to keep your facility running smoothly.

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