Andy Wilman RETURNS: Clarkson's Farm Secrets & Top Gear Reunion? (E415)

0:03The genius is him and Jeremy. Top Gear, Clarkson's Farm. I'm a boomer. 63. Top Gear, Jeremy. Change the stick now and again. The Madagascar special, everyone knows it didn't really work. Why don't we do a mid-air Formula One tyre change?

0:2820 million we're talking about shit ideas it's a heavy series so it is dramatic i can't talk about the ending of series fine i ain't saying nothing they're never gonna do it well that's a first yeah that is a first that's amazon but that means that editors work is now four weeks instead of 12 or whatever and they're also not knowing what hasn't made it to this point. A hundred percent. The magic is going right. Trope, trope, trope. You know the magics, yeah. I love that. You know what I mean? Boom. Urk. There's the future. Urk. Welcome back. How are you feeling? Urk. Because we just talked about AI before you said welcome back.

1:12Urk. I'm good, thank you. You're not a fan of AI? I'm a boomer. I'm 63. All the old stories. oh, can you help me with this printer, etc., etc. That's me. Do you know how many people enjoyed the last episode that we recorded together? No, because I steer clear. Total numbers, 20 million. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we put out the main full, sort of unedited long conversation with you. That's already done one and a half million. And then we put out snippets and like little clips of the best bits. that we spoke about that did about another five or six million social clips did another bunch of millions bloody hell I'm glad for the boomer and now I've got to go so that's a good number yeah so now what do we do so we're alright yeah so the reason why we've invited you back and we've never done this with any other guest before oh wow is when you get tens of millions of views of the first conversation but more importantly tens of thousands of questions right that people want answered well there's only one way to please our audience and that's to put you back in the chair or get AI or get AI to watch the episode and work out what the answer is so this is our first ever coffee just missing my face episode of High Performance so should we get straight into it you needed your coffee today right yeah we've got the farm coming out and I'm a bit whacked so the coffee is much needed look we're going to talk about Clarkson's farm we want to talk about Top Gear, Grand Tour.

2:51We actually put out a photo on socials today, said you're coming in, send us some questions. We're going to just run through those first of all. These are questions that came in in the last hour for people. The first one comes from James MacDonald who got in touch on Facebook and said, what's the best idea for any of your shows, whether it is Clarkson's Farm, Top Gear or the Grand Tour, that never made it to air, that you really wish people had the chance to see? Thanks, James, at this hour of the morning for the old... What's the that never did? Yeah.

3:22There wasn't an idea I don't think we couldn't do. We had crap ideas. Like, you know, remember those Carlsberg adverts? Carlsberg don't do. Yeah. And we were like, right, Top Gear doesn't do petrol stations. What if we did one? So we spent a good morning with people like Richard Porter and so on going, right, we'll take over a petrol station and we'll make it the Top Gear petrol station. so it was going to be like anybody who bought diesel there'd be just a huge town with Jeremy at the till going tight ward across the forecourt and so on and then anybody you know people get in their car after they've paid and then don't move off what are they doing what are they doing so there was going to be like a massive pile driver thing that shoves their car and then inside there'd be because they'd become supermarkets as well like people go I'll just do my shopping and leave my car at pump four you know it was going to sell like Werther's Originals and that was it and then a till you know for petrol and then after a while we thought nah this is just becoming an aircraft carrier for jokes so this is shit because it's like it's the worst thing you can do is like not have a point to what you're doing so James that never happened but that was a good thing.

4:45We always tried to go to Iran. Ooh. Go on. I have got one. Go for it. Because it costs too much. We were going to do Iron Man 3. You know when the plane is crashing and Iron Man joins everybody up to save their lives? We thought, why don't we do a mid-air Formula One tyre change? so you have a big transporter, one of them C-130s, ramp comes down. If anybody's got the money, do it. Car comes out and then all the tyre changing mechanics come out. So the car comes out on a parachute? Car comes out, but the parachute, no, this was the bit we were planning, was it's got like 45 seconds or 60 seconds before the parachute opens.

5:33And it's like you've got to change the tyres before the parachute opens. so it's got to we had to find a way of stabilizing it with really tiny parachutes but it's still falling and then you'd have those skydiver people and you'd train them and they'd come out with the wheels and you do a mid-air F1 car tire change before the parachute opens and we thought that would be the coolest thing in the world and then we did the numbers it was just like never gonna happen it was about five million dollars and thought, right, for a minute or whatever, two minutes, like how much can you milk this, you know?

6:13So it didn't happen. That would have been great telly, yeah. Somebody could do it. How do you decide if an idea is crap? So that's obviously cost, but how did you sort of go around editing yourselves? Jeremy was the main man on this, which was things have to have a point. So what do I mean by that? A good example, the ambulances film, when we built ambulances. And now, so start of the program, they go, NHS ambulances are too slow, too expensive. They're X hundred thousand pound each. We can do it much cheaper and they'll be like better, that sort of thing. So you've got this hubris, which has got the comedy of we can do better, you know.

7:03But you have a point. They cost the NHS a fortune. So Jeremy and James and Richard, he's take a donor car and make their version of what an ambulance should be. So you know it's going to be like, sort of fuck about Cartoon Central after a short while because of all the things that are going to go wrong. But all the time, you're bedded in with this point that we're trying to improve an ambulance. Why does that matter for the story? Because if you just do, you're back to the petrol station thing, if you just do, right we'll put a car with loads of gizmos and gadgets you're you're very quickly you're building a clown car and you're just going please laugh at this please find this funny sort of thing so you just don't do it whereas the the thread like uh can you buy a porsche for 1500 quid the thread is there yeah people probably never going to do it Oh, that's a first.

8:06Yeah, that is a first. That is a first in this building. I love the fact your cameras are still rolling. Yeah, I've got a bunch of power, yeah. Okay. So just as we got going on this record, the whole building lost power. So what did we do? It's a disaster, William. What are we saying, Benny? Always there. If we can just get... Producer Will. I love this. We're actually filming an episode of our performance on voice memos on an iPhone. Oh yeah. I actually think it's cool. We grabbed our iPhones, we rigged up some makeshift lighting and we kept going. Andy Wilmer by candlelight.

8:45This was how they made television in the Georgian era. It is! Can anyone remember what we were talking about? Where were we? We were talking about shit ideas. No, we've done that. Shit idea booking in the building. Here's a shit idea, let's have a power play in the middle. Oh, well, let's go to a... Shit, I need to rent this office. Let's go to a question from Wilson. It's a shit idea, don't pay the electricity bill. If this happened when you were filming Top Gear, would you see it as a disaster or would you go, that'll be great telly? No, it's great telly that is because if the show, some of our best moments are predicated on happy accidents, you know, the Stig, the specials, all the sort of things, finding things out.

9:32Shit cars that break down give you gold. You know, whereas the old Top Gear, if the car broke down, like Pebble Mill Top Gear days, you'd ring the officer and go, it shoots off because the car's broken. And then we realise that, we've got more gold now because this car isn't going anywhere. So to your point there, this going down would be like joyous. We'll be right back after a quick word from our partners.

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11:20Let's go back to some questions. There's so many that have come out at Clarkson's Farm. New series. Oh, yeah. It's just started. This is a lovely question, actually. Not only was this a nice question, over 500 people liked the question. So I think a lot of people want to know the answer to this. This is from Eric Seed on YouTube. Clarton's Farmers become the actual voice of farmers in the UK and around the world. It shone a light on things we completely took for granted. Did you ever think a show about a man failing to grow things would matter this much politically, culturally, and to real farmers?

11:54No, it's a very good question, and it's a very, very straightforward answer in that front. We absolutely did not because, again, back to the thing of all our best moments with Top Gear were kind of organic happy accidents or just organically developing. Ditto the farm. The whole premise was it was a sort of whimsical thing. He tries to make a go of his farm, and all the focus was on Jeremy making a go of his farm. There was no plan or logic or perception that farmers would, like some farmers would see us as beacons or would go, oh, you actually are highlighting things. The things that bothered us more at the beginning were, you guys know this, when you've got these series where there's actuality, reality, and there's got to be a bit of pressure or jeopardy.

12:49Yeah.

12:53the classic version of somebody doing a farm would be I've sold everything I've got, I've mortgaged everything, blah, blah, blah. I've put all my life savings into this and I've got to make it work and therein lies your jeopardy to take you through the series. Now, everyone knows Jeremy's got a bob or two. So if the farm were not to make money or work, he's not out on his arse. That's not going to happen. So that storyline's gone? Yeah, that's gone. So we were like, that's what our focus was, is how to deal with that. And actually, you know, because he's open, and when we get to the end of that first year and they've made 144 quid, and he can very quickly say, imagine a real farmer who hasn't got Amazon checks coming in or who wants to be a millionaire checks coming in.

13:44And I think that authenticity he's got, farmers go, thank you Jeremy you know, you said where you are and you said where we are and you said it proper because you know it and you mean it and then that, the farmer love for us and the farmer appreciation then just, we didn't know it was happening until the end of the series but he's a good communicator he's a good communicator I think you could have other shows that highlight a farming issue straight down the barrel at you countryfile do it very well and probably with more kind of direct punch like sheep shearers aren't being allowed into the country what the fuck are Defra and the Home Office doing etc etc when we need sheep shearing but he kind of resonates because of his communication skills and actually there is something about the fact it is his farm it is his land You are seeing his disappointment, and that's universal.

14:50So no, we never saw it. Never saw it. So this is a lovely question, actually, from J Hero, saying, Top Gear Jeremy, Farm Jeremy, same man or different? Same skills, as we've discussed. Different, yes, you see a calmer man. I see the rushes and I see a calmer man. You know, when the camera goes on, obviously he goes up a notch to perform and talk. But you see a calmer man. He's actually, the love of the farm, he's constantly talking about with that film crew. He's absolutely in the sweetest spot. So he is, it's a different Jeremy, short answer. And the farm has kind of brought it out more, it's enhanced it because i think top gear jeremy mental mental mama then nothing grand tour then nothing i think you'd get an agitator jeremy right because he's programmed to work he's programmed to do and the farm is the best you know green run ski slope descent into calmness that you could ever have because it's still work it's still like requires a lot of effort and brain power but all he's got to do is step out of his front door and he's at work we don't have to get on a plane and go to mauritania it's like and and have a crew of eight million and all that stuff which is like that gets wearing that kind of thing he's got that same he's got veterans from Top Gear and Grand Tour and their days are, they'll film a scene, like let's say move goats or cow birth or something and then after that's done they're going to have a cup of coffee and sometimes they go what should we do next?

16:45They're going to do something but then they have a think about it and it's like that's just joy for somebody who wants to work but he's not got like a newspaper deadline or the weight of the world's expectations on him. Clarkson's Farm, no expensive sets, no costumes, no special effects. Some of it filmed on a mobile phone. And yet it's the highest rated show on Prime. You know Jeremy better than anyone. So how much of that is genius and how much is just Jeremy being Jeremy with someone pressing record? Isn't Jeremy being Jeremy a bit of genius? You know, it's like not anyone can do that job. um the all right let's deal with the sort of low techness of everything we again did not see it coming that our big worry apart from how authentic would be is how boring it might be you know him hitching a track trailer up when we've done minis going down ski jumps with rockets on them we've done all you know amphibious cars trying to get to cross the channel when you've done that sort of stuff and you're like pushing yourself to go right i've got top that i've got top that i've got top that all that kind of hollywood type mentality to then go right in this episode we're going to move the goats from one field to another you do worry but then you realize that those small stories have got as much power as the mini downer ski jumper.

18:19So very happy about that. Him involved in that, again, he can somehow make the movements of goats quite something. There's a bit in the new series where they actually are moving the goats because I love it as an example. You know, it's four minutes and you think, well, shit, that's nearly half a power test on Top Gear, you know, moving goats. and the goats are unruly then they get them under control and they get to the field and it's your kind of bucolic, beautiful Cotswold late afternoon and he turns to the camera, he goes why did I spend so many years driving cars around corners shouting when I could have been doing this so he gives you a he thinks to give you a Jeremy moment to give context to what's going on I'd call that genius like because he's going I still have to work here I can't just enjoy moving stuff around um and then he stops and he goes oh I remember because it pays for me to do this like you know um and then brings it down and you get to the point where it's all gorgeous and then Caleb goes why are we keeping fucking goats like why don't we kill them sell them for Is it just a moment that Caleb came out with, or is someone going, hey, listen.

19:39No, no, no, that's Caleb. Just say this and it'll work. No, no, Caleb's got that position. Because his comedy timing is really quite something. Yeah, I think that's improved around, because he's learned off the to-ing and fro-ing with Jeremy about that kind of thing. But his attitude and beliefs are just his. He would not keep goats. He goes, that's hobby farming. You know, it's not serious. We're not making any money out of them. He's like, go curry all the way, sell them. And Jeremy's going, I can't. So Jeremy allows himself these foibles and failures that a real farmer would not have, like keeping Pepper the cow and so on.

20:19Caleb is off to the abattoir, off to the abattoir, for all the right reasons. You've got to earn a living. I think what's happened, and again, his genius for me, because I watch it in the rushes, he's surrounded by Charlie, Lisa, Alan the Builder, Gerald, Caleb. They're all what you'd call civilians, even though they're well-known on TV. They're not professional presenters.

20:45But he is. So he's like this maypole or tentpole in the middle. And I can see the different sides of the cogs working where he's going, right, I've got to give entertainment here. And so I'm engaging with everybody. but I've also got to mentally direct this scene. So when they all start talking in acronyms and tech speak and farmer speak, you get these moments, and Charlie didn't realise it, where Jeremy would go, so hang on a minute, let's get this straight. You want to, and then he'll give an idiot summary of what they're talking about. And he's doing that for me in the edit, and he's doing that for the viewer.

21:25So he's got his edit brain on, and then his in-the-moment brain. but the genius result of that, I think, is the others don't know it so they're free to just be. Alan the Builder is free to just sort of overcharge Jeremy in a funny way. I love how he comes up with his price. How much is, well, it's got to be 250 grand. No, no, it's two and a half hundred. It's got to be two and a half hundred. Two and a half hundred, like just to take the thousand out of it. You know, one of my favourite scenes is when you've got all the problems with the drains at the farmer's dog. And Jeremy's gone down there and he's like, oh my God, it's literally.

22:08In your head you're going, God, standing two feet away from that drain must be the world's worst thing. And then this man appears from inside and he's got his hands above his head, isn't he, holding on to the cable. He's holding on, yeah, coming up through the... And Jeremy's like, there's a man inside there. Holy mo... Yeah. Oh my God. And he's absolutely in his element watching all that. And are you careful not to produce them? Somebody does a massive turd in one of the bogs at the Farmer's Dog. In the new season. Yeah. It's the day the cores are coming to play at the pub, and you're like, how could this happen?

22:45We've got a turd from another... What, they block the toilet? It's from another planet, this thing. It is your Marvel thing when the shadow comes over Manhattan. I fucking love Clarkson. was that turd somehow like and you're like the cause are on the way now obviously they don't have to use that one but you're like we don't need this problem like are you careful not to produce them like you don't want to go and speak to gerald about being produced because it takes them out of being themselves no we never bother with that never bother charlie never watches himself right so they're again in the new series yeah yeah yeah um the conversation he and Jeremy having the sort of Christmas edition where Jeremy decides he wants to build a Santa's grotto.

23:36And they've become a bit of a trope on the show now. Jeremy has an idea Charlie, like, brings reality to the lunacy of it or the ambition. And I think that one was the best one they've ever, ever done, where Jeremy goes, I want to make a grotto. And then Charlie goes with all the, you know, background checks for father christmas and jerry's like what um it was and you sort of you go you charlie's got no preparation for it and he's never watched another one he's done so he doesn't know whereas i'm sure caleb does watch because he's very interested in tv right charlie doesn't know that they've got this rhythm this tv rhythm which is just about perfect but he hasn't watched it and learned from it he just naturally does it it's actually I think impressive as well that Caleb hasn't changed as he's kind of become famous or hasn't become a TV version of Caleb he's kind of retained the ability just to be who he was in season one but he's got a good Yoda is Yoda the older one yeah yeah he's got a good Yoda I bet you are yeah he has he's got a good Yoda because Jeremy's like just that authenticity which people love and kelly's watching it around him yeah and i think after series one he was inundated with all the offers yeah from telly and there's nothing you can do to stop him going but we were like mate stay here learn it's an academy you won't make better farming telly anywhere else um and he's he's taken on to that he's taken with that he's got it yeah so i came home the other day and seb who i spoke to you about before my son 10 years yeah grabbed me and ran into the go you've got to come in you've got to see this you've got to see this you've got to see this and i thought what's happened something's going on in the house it was the trailer for the new season oh yeah which bit do you think he loved What made him laugh out loud?

25:51That's AI again. That went well. Detected localization. Hitch-torn link. Fold-off. Caleb's face. Caleb's face, yeah. No sheep is easy to care for. These ones are.

26:12Those fucking sheep. The whole fence line goes down. Electric sharks. Thumbs. Fucked thumbs. That's it, Joe. They just run into the night buggy, so I just think they're all coppers. Oh, boy, you just are empty. It looks so sad. My favourite's coming up. It's the woman after you see Jeremy in hospital. There's onion in my field. There's poison onion in my field. Oh, look at this little cup off. I've got bad news. I'm putting the whole farm under restrictions. The Ministry will get in touch with you and talk through... And that's real, by the way.

26:53yeah a lot of phone footage on that one

26:59wow

27:05this woman

27:16she's epic Yeah, this is wild catch. The doctor told me not to speak. Chris has told me not to speak. Hello, everybody! And he speaks.

27:30We are not meant to feature in the Daily Mail's shit. There's the grotto.

27:37Yeah, the animals. The animals are a git. Go eat in the Christmas tree.

27:51God, it all happens in this season. I've finished the meal.

28:00What would you think was Seb's favourite moment, or is it still to come? Here it comes.

28:13so that last bit at the end there yeah yeah yeah that i think is exactly what you spoke about jeremy's genius like the two dogs are just shagging in the house yeah and instead of him going oh and not knowing what to do he starts having like the most normal conversation well it's that british avoidance isn't it yeah like but it's just dogs so it's like this isn't happening and we're very British about it, so we'll just carry on as normal.

28:39But, yeah, we didn't know that's coming. They just decided to... Well, you know, the stuff like the inheritance attacks or the planning battles, the more political elements, what's your view on that? Do you lean into that or would you rather avoid them? No, we lean into it. We lean into it because if it's something that is brutalizing farmers in a way that is actually, if you dig into inheritance tax for a non-farmer versus a farmer, it's treasury bloody sort of really quite devious people working out that these farmers, it's like most farmers are over 60 odd. so you can't sell your farm you can't get out of this you are into that whereas I think you or I we've got an inheritance plan we've got options to try and get round it with a farm you can't they know it's a very it's like a glorified death tax that is that they're locked into is the point right and Andy Burnham's gone land is massively undertaxed and you're like what you're going to do that as well now yeah so we lean in So we're leaning to an extent.

29:59Jeremy's got, he's mindful of the fact that Rachel Reeves was going, says she was going after people like Jeremy and James Dyson, you know, non-farmers who buy land to avoid death duties. And his point, as he said quite rightly, is, yeah, but fine, go after me, go after James Dyson, but use a sniper's rifle. don't use a fucking blunderbuss like you have done and take out the whole farming community. Because this whole thing about the initial thing, farm over a million quid, a million quid sounds like a fantastic number to a townie, but it's bollocks in the farming world. By the time you've got a tractor, a barn, some cattle, you're on your million.

30:49And yeah, there's not much there. And there's no... No, and there's no... No one's getting rich out of farming these days. If you're just a... I come from a farming family in Norfolk so you're like okay what happens then big conglomerates then we'll buy up the farmland that's exactly what the end game is there our land is owned and farmed by four huge businesses who control all our food yeah he was looking at the whole TB thing in this series which comes up more that one's not out yet but you know there's like a few hedge fund groups own most of the veterinary practices so it's in everyone's interest to have big vet bills and so on and so on.

31:32But we don't get into it like on a mission. I think Jeremy was aware that some farmers go, we love what you're doing, but you are part of the problem with the inheritance tax by virtue of existing you and the James Dyson. So some farmers were, Jeremy help, Jeremy help, Jeremy help, because you're an amazing communicator. And some farmers are like, we love you, but can you stay away from this one? It's not your fight. Can I ask you about the moment where he has his heart operation in this series? Yeah. Because you've known young Jeremy coming through as a TV star. Yeah. Slightly older Jeremy who literally becomes a megastar and the ego starts to kind of maybe run away with itself, all the way through to farmer Jeremy.

32:16But now Jeremy has had a really genuine health scare. Yeah. Is he any different now after that moment, do you think?

32:29I couldn't put my finger on that. He's got grandchildren. That's made a massive difference.

32:37So I'd say pre the health scare, all those decisions were turning around in his head. It's one of the reasons we quit the grand tour. that you absolutely start to... If you read a Jeremy column from the 1990s, it'll be, right, I'm going to smoke 90 a day, drink, and then I'm going to have, at 72, a brief moment of massive pain before my heart gives out. But I'll have had an amazing moment, sort of rock star type philosophy. And obviously it's bollocks, because when you get to 60, you go, shit, grandchildren, shit. I've worked really hard, shit. I can smell the roses if I stop. And it's happened to him.

33:24So, yeah, no big science on that one. But it was happening before the Hellscare. I think the Hellscare is like, it was one of those things like the heart stuff is part of his good living, you know. And it's come around, obviously, this point, this time of him actually already having gone, I've got to slow it down. So he's changed his diet and that kind of thing. He has taken it seriously. He hasn't smoked for 10 years. Right. Yeah. Do you have this funny moment where, you know, one of your best buddies and someone you've shared most of your life with has suddenly got a massive issue, but there's a bit in your head going, well, that's going to make great television.

34:06I remember when we spoke with Emily Maitlis, she said that she had a point where, like, when there was a big drama somewhere, which was a crisis and a catastrophe for some people, in her head, she's like, oh, it's going to make... It's going to happen. It's going to make great news headlines. Great news headlines, yeah. It's funny how the job does that to you, isn't it? He's on the front foot more than anybody on that. He's like, right, shit, I'm in hospital. And you're like, shit, shit, shit. And he's like, yeah, I've got Lisa filming it. And then we'll decide what to do with it afterwards. but he's got that local newspaper reporter logic that let's get this on film, let's work out how it goes in and so on and so on.

34:46So he's the biggest advocate of, shit, this will make great telly. Yeah. And so on. This is from James Lewis 2635. That's when the name James Lewis has been used. Used 2 ,635 times. His favourite numbers now they're used. Andy, it sounds like the best way of getting Jeremy Clarkson to do something is to tell him not to do it. Is that actually true? And what's the best example you've got? Oh, I hate the best example bits. Because you've got to go like Rolodex. So I don't know in the time we have if I can come up with that. The best way to get him to do something is tell him not to do it. It's odd when we just looked at a trailer, when Amazon have told me not to speak, the doctors told me not to speak.

35:39He, yes, he does take that position of anti-being-told-what-to-do, but he's not mental with it. He's not mental with it. I think...

35:56So, let me try and unpick it in other ways. Top Gear, we were in the newspapers a lot on the Top Gear days, Daily Mail, Spark Fury, Daily Mirror, Spark Fury. And if we did something, we never did it to Spark Fury. We never sat down and write, what can we shoot this week that is going to get us in the papers? But if along the way we realised that, ooh, this might go, like, play badly, we would still carry on doing it. If you'd have said to him, let's think of one, Lurie Driver's murder prostitutes in the Top Gear days, he starts doing that running joke about, like, the cab is a chapel of rest, you know, for all your victims and stuff like that.

36:38And you get the sense, like, when this goes out, like BBC compliance go, all right, it can go out, but fucking hell batten down the hatches, lorry drivers and the papers are going to be on you. It's at that point that he would go, well, whatever happens, happens, but we certainly don't take it out. We don't go for a peaceful life, you know. So that's more his logic. But I don't think he sets out to go... Right, how can I do something that is contrary? And he obviously doesn't actually believe that lorry drivers murder prostitutes. No. But there's something there that works for him. Is it because he knows that creating these conversations outside of the show is good for the show?

37:19Yeah, they are because they're good observations. Well, no, he likes that, what's that horrible phrase? Sideways look. You know, he likes that. If you're going to bring being a lorry driver to life, He will go look for things like that, which are, I mean, the reason the BBC let it go through, even though they knew we were going to get a kicking, was if you Googled, you know, compliance Google, lorry drivers, prostitutes, your fucking computer explodes with all the examples in America or wherever. So they go, right, it's an established trope. You know, it is urban, not urban myth, but it's out there.

37:54So he is, by all the compliance rules, allowed to play on it. The flack that comes, comes, but you can defend why you did it. Why does he go for that? Because it is mischievous. But I think mischief is the word, not controversy, that you're aiming for. Because everyone's going to have a giggle about that one. But it's one element. He's going to talk about how hard it is to change 18 gears when someone in a bloody voxel course has just moved in front of you for no reason, all that sort of stuff. he learned that and talk about that too. But, yeah, we never set out to, but then we don't stop when it happens.

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41:28great question um going back to top gear from here we go nffc evans 007 this had picked that name himself didn't 100 a forest fan and the james bond fan 1400 likes on this so a lot of people were feeling the same way. And they said, I wasn't excited for the Ferrari Enzo. I was excited for the Top Gear review of the Ferrari Enzo. I get that. Did you ever fully realize that you'd actually made the car secondary to the review? Well, I disagree with that. The car was always, had to come first. And I think another of those, like the point we were making earlier about when you start to try and be funny without a point, if we started to make the show about us, and not the product or the object of whatever our focus was, you certainly then start to come unstuck when you start to do that sort of thing.

42:25So if we do the Enzo later than everybody else, which was because we made a plan that we weren't going to go to Italy to drive it like all the car magazines would do, Jeremy's like, not till it's over here in right-hand drive are we doing it. Very strict rule, very good one. Because his point was... If we're a car show that's broad, you don't chase what the car magazines are doing because that's enthusiasts and that's niche. So Autocar or Car Magazine or Top Gear Magazine will review the new Enzo as fast as possible. They all want the scoop, journalistically correct. They want to be the first.

43:04And he's like, no, let's take ourselves out of that world and we won't review a car until somebody's driving to work and they can see the posters for it or they can go down the showroom and have a look at it. He's like, that's our relevance. Restaurant reviewers don't review a restaurant until it's open, sort of thing. So why would you not go this way? So then we'd have to work doubly hard on the review because we're following everybody else. And it was an absolute point of pride. He would write those things again and again and again to get it just right. So I disagree. I don't think the presenter came before the car because he was slavish to making it right.

43:54But you were so much more than a car review show, though. Well, he could make them live. He had a great skill for making things live. And his analogies, I remember watching Top Gear late one night and there was... I got in from the edit again. So you're watching like one in the morning, Top Gear rerun. And they've got the lady in the side doing the hard of hearing, the sign language. And it was a jagged review in Scotland, XK or something like that. And he's going, at normal speeds, it's as quiet as a mountain, right? I thought it was a great analogy because if you look at mountains, they are, there's extreme silence.

44:36but you just saw her face go like what the fuck am I doing with this analogy like this sort of stuff but yeah he loves he works he worries you know dog with a bone on getting those those phrases right because it is a point of pride to do good wordplay I suppose a question from DestructionNL36 what? yeah when the grand tour shifted to specials only I started calling it the farewell tour when did you know it was ending and was the decision actually made or did it just stop? Yeah, it was a decision we took about five years to make. So 2019, just before we went to specials, well-spotted NFL... Destruction, NL86.

45:24Yeah. When we stopped doing the 12 shows a year, we were going to call it quits. Amazon said, no, keep going. Do another two years of 12 shows. And we said, no, definitely not. well we were like quit quit quit and then they said tell you what you can each have your own solo series if you do some more film top grand tours so jeremy said i'll do farm show you know so like the best way to get everyone back is to hit their own personal egos you know like deep purple yeah like give the keyboard player a solo album as long as we get a deep purple album um And we went to the specials. So it was in our minds, that's why we reduced the number, that one day we're going to make something that's proper shit and then the audience will say goodbye to us before we do the goodbyes.

46:19So it then became our focus that we've got to call it at the right time. So we kept doing them in clumps, do four, then do two, then do two more. but Amazon were like, just sign up and say six, you know. And we kept doing them in small increments because we wanted that option to go, we're done. And then with the Madagascar one, that was probably the weakest one, that was like a real wake-up call. That, oh, yeah, we're right to be worried. Right. Then COVID comes along and we got a boost because we had time to think, time to recharge your batteries. and we came out of the traps well with Scandi Flick and Mauritania one oh no the European one we came out of the traps all right then but then we were like Mauritania Zimbabwe we knew to you you know a good 18 months before that that was it yeah and we just wanted to be able to walk away with our heads held up.

47:21So yeah, you're absolutely right, Destruction 898, that it was a glorified farewell tour. But there won't be a we're back tour. Never. The grand tour never comes back. No, if 899 is asking that, we won't be, you know, there won't be another one. Next question then, Andy, from B-Bats 55. The Madagascar special, everyone knows it didn't really work. You've been honest about that. But what I want to know is... We just said that, didn't we? Yep. But what I want to know is, did you know why you were making it? No, I think that was the point where we were like, halfway through you're going, what the fuck are we doing pirates for?

48:05This is nonsense. It was the this is nonsense bit, you know. And you can do a scene in a film that's nonsense and you just cut it out. But when the whole film's nonsense, you're locked in. You've just got to keep going. You hope that this world's worst road is going to give you the material to get you to the end. It's got to give enough of an anchor. But difficult roads at one mile an hour become as wearisome as the road itself. It just goes on and on. So we just had to get through it and beat ourselves up afterwards. Never again do we drop our sort of standards on. But how do you keep morale high?

48:48in moments like that?

48:53You're busy. There's a lot going on. End of the day, your shoulders will drop a bit. You'll go, that's another day where we went six hours on that road and I'm thinking, I can just see this in the edit just being interminable. So then morale, you'd go, James drives through that puddle of shit in the catering. It's a good moment. He's just covered in it. And you're like, well, that'll be a highlight. But then you grow that in your head as if it was the whole day or something. You know it's going to be 48 seconds when you've done it, but you're like, that'll do, that'll do, that'll give us a bit.

49:30But yeah, you've got to sort of, I don't know, like Michael Flatley with his arthritis. He's just got to keep dancing, hasn't he? Just push through. Yeah. So the question from Wilson, and this is on Instagram. Wilson. Wilson. Mr. Wilson. Wilson underscore Truong from Instagram. Because you spoke really movingly, actually, in our first conversation. Okay. About how, towards the end of Top Gear, your mental health was challenged. The stress, the pressure, everything was on top of you. His question is, besides Jeremy's exit, was there ever a time that Andy considered leaving Top Gear? No. Never.

50:11Because we've got our own version of that sort of Stockholm Syndrome going, where you're absolutely wedded to being alongside each other, no matter how bad it gets. And I think, again, because it's not a show that we just sort of got given guardianship of but grew, how could you leave it? Say I get a job running The Apprentice and it all goes to shit for me, I'll leave. But because we've grown it ourselves, There's no way you could leave. And we were all too massively close to do that. So never, never, never, never, never. Too great cost, I think, mentally, because it was so insane what we were doing in terms of the workload.

51:01But we couldn't even take time off, you know, anything. Do you make sure that you protect your mental health now?

51:11yeah I see a therapist once a week you learn a lot obviously about yourself or why bother and it is like that thing where if you go to the gym to work your body out why would you not go and sort your brain out I'm sure that's the sort of cliche that is understood but probably not understood enough it's like it's not actually about going because you have crises, problems. It's just, why would you not help with your mental health? In a society where it's still not valued enough to have good mental health and in a society where mental stress is getting hard, society is getting more pressured, more complex, all the things we know, why would you not try and look after your noggin?

52:04Was it a trigger for you to go?

52:09Yeah, when everything was collapsing around. And you don't... I didn't go closed mind. I did want to go. And you can have that kind of, especially the northern thing of I'm not telling people my business. There's that logic. I didn't have that. But what I did worry about was that I would be judged because if you're very insecure, you worry how people see you and what they think about you and it takes you ages to know that a good therapist is not judging and then you can say everything uh that that i think that's the the pivot you've got to get over the hump that you're not going to be judged that this person is like absolutely because the lady i see she was like look by the time we've been trained properly adolf hitler could sit opposite me and we try and work out the logic behind what he did you know so I was like okay I'm not as bad as Hitler so I'll stay like can I ask you just a couple of geeky TV questions before we go to the quick fires so how many days out of the year do you think you're filming on that farm two fucking many because we got to deal with it in the edit it's I think because he can step out the door he's at work that sort of well we need to film that well we need to film that oh the milk's being delivered as in like a milk bottle you know it's like oh we better film that it can get a bit like that oh the gate needs some WD-40 right get the crew and you're like this is never going to make it but they film a lot I think our shooting ratio is about 50 to 1 50 hours to 1 hour sort of thing so what's that 50 minutes to 1 minute etc etc so not as bad as the specials at their worst.

54:07But then again, you haven't got all the cameras that you've got there. You've got 15 in-car cameras between Jeremy, James and Richard. And what have you got on the farm? Well, in the car, if he's driving somewhere, we don't bother with the minicams hardly. It's like the cameraman jumps in the back just so you get that actuality, right, we're off up to the top field. Apparently there's something wrong with one of the sheep sort of thing. So it's very lo-fi on that score. But how do you plan, like, obviously you can go through the diary for the week or the schedule for the month and say, these are our filming days.

54:41If something goes wrong that requires more than just Jeremy on a mobile phone, like, how quickly can you get the crew there to film what's going on? Really quickly, because Casper, the main cameraman, lives in the area. He's down the road. Right. And that'll happen quite often then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'll happen quite often. And Casper's like, and if we're not filming filming, if it's a nice day, he's out getting all those, you know, you see those amazing shots lots of Attenborough-esque type deer going through the fields and stuff. He'll just bring his camera up and settle down because he doesn't have to deal with Jeremy or anybody else.

55:12He can just get that stuff and all those beauty shots. So it's kind of full-time as it is. And we're well-funded. It's a good budget for this show, given that it's not a blockbuster budget because of the context. It's, you know, life on a farm. but we're well funded for a life on a farm show. So you can, we are very lucky that we can have the edit days we want to process this stuff and Jeremy can go, get the cameras over here, you know, the tap's leaking. I need to film it. So yeah, funding is good for this. And how much time are you in the edit? We're full time. We're full time, three editors.

55:59So three editors? Three editors. All year? Yeah, more than a year. More than a year. Over a year. So we'll start... It's mad, isn't it? It is. But the walls of the offline edits are like beautiful mind, you know? You start with like cows, sheep, pub, etc., etc. And then you start filling them in. And what are you putting on the walls, though? Because I would have thought these days everything is digital and everything's on the device rather than on the wall. Or is that just because you still like to work? I'm a boomer and I can't deal with spreadsheets and stuff like that. So what do you have on the board?

56:35So we get that, you know that stuff that you get from Ryman's that your other stations are available. Sticky white stuff, like a whiteboard. Yeah, yeah, and you can make fake whiteboards. And then we'll write cows, sheep, pub, arable. Shit. Shit. And then something will get filmed. And then you put it on there. And then when the assistant has broken it down, you'll put a tick again, stick me and it's now ready to cut. But you, I don't know, it's just me. I can only work in a sort of left to right way where I can look at everything and then... But where does that allow for all of the mad shit you can't plant?

57:15Well, we'll put it in a category or we'll cut... Right. Here's a tip, if you ever find yourself in a position. Put one up called miscellaneous. That's a lot. Stick it in there. and then you put that and you do like your miscellaneous stuff because they're like little breaks so you can have they're like alright in this story we're going to do sheep and Jeremy's heart or whatever but you could have a thing where like Lisa's developed a new pasta and she brings it into the office to let everyone taste it in the you know Jeremy and Caleb and everything and you go, right, that is fuck all to do with fuck all, but it's a three-minute break from whatever else we're doing.

58:01And that helps us pace-wise, that you can go, meanwhile, and the meanwhile word is get out of jail of all time, or the next day, and then they just help me pace it up and move it along. Brilliant. Because it is, you know, voiceover is in it. How often do you get actuality with voiceover? It's quite, it's uncommon, but there's no other way because we have to package it like a story. Brilliant. Right, shall we do some quick fires? Yeah. All questions from the community. Here they are. Please not, what's the best, what's the worst? Oh, well. Oh, here we go. Sorry, I'm going to piss you off. One of, one of.

58:45Yeah, Maurice Marina, 898. What's he want? Worst idea, Jeremy. Oh, here you go. That somehow worked. Worst idea what? Any show? Yeah, that somehow worked. Worst idea that somehow worked. Power's back! Whoa! Power's back! Woo! Oh my goodness. Finally, we all look our age again. I think for men of a certain generation, like Candlelit Studios is a good idea. I liked it dimly lit. I'm a bit sad this has happened. Yeah. We'll turn it off again. Why don't we? Like the romance of the... Yeah. Yeah, well, we're already done, so why don't we wrap up like this? Let's finish like this, Joby. I think it's lovely.

59:30I think it's more romantic. You've got another one. Those worst idea ones. Kill me. Okay. I think one of the ideas that amazed us all was, shit, does even people do it anymore? Scooter Man. You know, it was a London thing and a couple of other cities where you get pissed. Scooter comes to your house. Scooter comes to your house. They put their boot. They drive you home. Yeah, little mini-mobile. No one drinks anymore. so there's no need for a scooter. There's no need to do it, yeah. So they would come to you, so you're in the pub, and you're like, you've driven there, and then you're, oh, fuck, I've had too many.

1:00:00You ring Scooter Man, and he comes in the little mini moped, he's insured to drive anything, puts his little scooter in the back of your car, drives you home pissed, and then you wake up, you've got your car. So, James and Richard went, why don't we be Scooter Men for the evening, and we can road test, it's like road test roulette. You know, we'll road test whatever cars we've got, coming up and we thought oh this is going to be so shit but the joy of it was you've got the owner of the car next to you so if like they're going this Nissan Qashqai is bollocks like the owner is like because they've got to sit next to you right and they're pissed so they might be a bit aggy and James was like being James I'm going to say it's how it is I'm not going to beat about the bush if the car's terrible the car's terrible their fault for buying it and Hammond's like oh I'm too polite for that he goes I'm going to do a code so he'd go it's this car's shit I'm going to go it's a bit cranberry like and then he so on camera he's giving the viewer all these words like beforehand that's funny it was a good yeah that was a good film but it started out as worst idea yeah I think I like that one if you go X19 or whatever he won't have been born when that film came out too young surely can't be Hammond May no we've got a fucking handle it's like Hammond May or Clark and who would you actually like to be stranded with?

1:01:26If it's danger all about, Richard. Right? For company, Jeremy. You know. Survival, Richard. James isn't featuring yet. Quick death. No, because it would be, he'd like arrange the island. You know, ooh, Wilman. Coconut trees sort of should be there. And take it forever to get everything built. He's very practical, but... No, it would be maudlin. It would be maudlin. Whereas Jeremy will be, Jeremy would bring Jeremy drama to the whole thing. We're going to die tonight. And then like when we haven't died the next day, we're alive. And then this would go on and up all this kind of that sort of thing.

1:02:08And we would have a laugh. And Hammond, like I say, if you're on Jurassic Park Island, you need someone to punch a T-Rex. He's your man. He's the fighty brummie that you want in the pub. Is it? You know, yeah. One thing about Top Gear the audience never knew.

1:02:32These are really shit for quick fire, because I've got to go through the bloody... It's fine. I've got to go through the Rolodex. Yeah. I'm saying they never knew. We can edit them into quick fire. We change the Stig now and again. As in if Stig was busy, if Ben Collins was busy, we'd put another one in. Would you? Yeah. Julian Bailey, great racing driver, touring cars, Le Mans, sports cars. And he had... And Julian is curmudgeonly, he's known for it. He's grumpy as shit. And, like, I remember touring cars, like, some kid brings him the wrong poster of, like, Will Hoy instead of Julian. And he's like, kid, fuck off.

1:03:15Bring me the right picture back. Like, you know, kid's this height. and um he's got and ben collins is like amazingly sort of polite fantastic coach etc etc you know literally an ambassador for the show when you've got your celeb there in the car julian forget it and jimmy carr was the guest that day that's the worst combination because jimmy carr just fucked about he kept spinning off spinning off spinning off and you're like jesus jimmy because I've not come down to do a lap time, I've come to entertain. It was a fair point, he'd made his bed. And I'm driving down to see how they're getting on, like halfway through their training.

1:03:55And the stig's coming the other way, and I'm like, window down, I'm like, where are you going? He went, I've had enough of that cunt. I can't take any more of him. And like... So I'm like... And he went, do you know what? He said, he's actually good. He said, well, that's what's pissing me off as well. so I drove down to see Jimmy and I went he's just said he's had enough of that cunt Jimmy's dead on the floor like and then he went but he also says I said we've got enough spins to last a lifetime you know in your career why don't you actually put your mind to it because he said you'd be good and he went number one so but yes Stiggs came and went on these sort of special occasions stand in Stiggs good to know the ending of Clarkson Farm, series five, are we talking relief or heartbreak?

1:04:48I can't talk about the ending of series five because nobody's seen it yet. So that remains a secret. Massive secret. It's a heavy series. The ones that have been out so far, you'll see the progress now of the how gentle first ep was, which was a bit nervy for me because streaming, you usually come out of traps with your Jason Statham punches. And that was because Jeremy was crook. There's nothing you can do. He can't do anything. It's gentle. And then ep 2 was an outlier because it's funny with the Christmas stuff. And then as you see, only till ep 3 does the actual series arc kick in when he goes, right, I'm going high tech.

1:05:35But we've got, what have we got to come? six five six seven eight it gets it gets heavier and heavier and heavier so it is dramatic but I ain't saying nothing if the BBC called you tomorrow and said come back on your terms do you pick up miss them but not like we used to we used to miss them like when we were starting to make a grand tour we really missed them partly because we had a lot of management who still liked us, apart from the ones who hated us, there was a lot who liked us. And there was our baby, you know, the show we'd built. So a lot of heartache. And I think for years we would be like, good to be back.

1:06:23But it's gone now. It's actually, I think like a relationship where you go, no, it's all that, you've got over it. And Amazon have been good to us. You know, okay, big American corporations, we don't have that parent and child relationship we had with the BBC, for sure. It is more formal than that. But the group at Amazon we work with, we've now got a relationship with them. And they are really good to us. And they leave us alone, which in the streaming world is like unheard of. You know, I hear about like Netflix one, cut, cut, cut, and notes, the amount of notes going to people. and we get fuck all which is so once we've got our independence and we're funded that was always how we were at the BBC we built our own little asterisk of Gaul village you know with the big stakes around it so nobody can get in and we've kind of got the same here so no don't miss it now there was a time but not anymore well Andy look thank you so much thank you there's a lot of firsts First guest to ever have done a third recording in this studio.

1:07:39First guest to ever have had a power cut. I arranged that. It made for great content. Great content. The king of content. I'll bet when I stand up, there's a cable where I've moved with my chair. How did that happen? Massive plug come apart. And it's the first time we've ever had someone in and just given them questions from the audience because the conversation was so interesting and so deep. Oh, that's really kind of you to say all of those things, really. I'm proper touched on that. I really am. Because I know how big this one is, you know. So I'm really touched. Great. Well, if people want more, they can obviously check out Season 5 of Clarkson's Farm.

1:08:16They can also get their hands on your book, which has got so many amazing and lovely stories. Yes, if you bought the hardback, this softback companion, they don't like to be a part of hardback and paperbacks. Perfect for us for a holiday. This is a holiday, yeah. Get this in. I think hopefully the airports will stick in because they didn't the other one. So this is... They love a softback in the airbook. They love a softback. No, I didn't think we'd get this far. I didn't think we'd get to paperback, but we have, so I'm well chuffed. You should be really proud. Great book, great career, great stories, and I think a great episode.

1:08:49So thank you so much.

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