Lighting up the room this Christmas

0:28Watch it early on the High Performance App. expert right when you need them. Work smarter and faster with Upwork. Go to Upwork.com now and find your freelance expert. That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com. Post a job for free and get started today. Hey, I'm Dr. Z and I'm a neurosurgeon. So that means long hours, early rounds, late nights, and everything in between. And through it all, I wear figs. They're comfortable when it counts and functional when I need them the most. So where do you wear your figs? On shift, on call, on the couch in the break room listening to this podcast, wherever it is, they fit right in.

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1:53Hi there, welcome along to the High Performance Podcast as we sit here and chat on Christmas Day. Have you had any presents yet, Damien? No, not yet. I'm eagerly anticipating that. I normally try and use a bit of delayed gratification and kick it into the late afternoon before I open anything. So for anyone listening to this, we want to wish you the very best of the season's greetings. We hope that you're having a lovely day, having a chance just to stop, reflect, and just spend a bit of time upping your own energy levels and taking care of yourself today. Absolutely. And whether you're listening to this on Christmas Day, Boxing Day, around New Year, or at some point in early 2024, we just thought that we would talk about the importance of the energy that people bring to the room and this idea of lighting up a room when you walk into it.

2:39You know, Damien has this great line, there are some people in life that light the room up when they're in it. there are other people in your life that the room lights up when they've gone. And we were just talking about what an amazing year it's been on high performance, some incredible guests from all different walks of life. And when we think back over the year, we both agree that our mind immediately doesn't take us necessarily to the things that people have said. It takes us to how people made us feel. Massively. I think we've been so privileged to meet so many incredible people, but it's the ones that really just brought a unique energy to it, whether it was just they made us laugh, they made us feel good about ourselves, or they just made us feel that the world was a better place than what we maybe believed before we walked in.

3:23There's something really special about bringing that kind of energy. Well, let's start with a clip then from Will Still. He's the current manager of Stade d 'Hare in France. He's the youngest manager in one of Europe's big five football leagues. And I remember listening to the conversation, you know, you have to sort of remember the context that I've spent the last 10 years as a football journalist, you know, hosting football matches. So I'm used to seeing managers give the same old cliched answers where the truth is in the modern era, players and managers try and tell the broadcasters of football matches as little as possible.

3:58The players have told me that when they go back in the dressing room after having spoken to the media, their only aim is to not give them any headlines, to cause any issues, no ammunition, no problems. you know just say nothing basically so to have will still sitting across from us being incredibly vulnerable totally himself really like just saying what came into his head when it came into his head i was thinking like i'm not used to this this is brilliant this is how i want us to speak to football managers and sports people and those elite individuals it was totally refreshing well when i sometimes see some of the pictures or the youtube uh footage of the interviews that we do I think sometimes the pair of us can look incredibly serious and earnest and really engage with the furrowed brow.

4:43And yet when I'd look back on the Will Still one and when the camera cut to us, both of us were smiling. And I think that's a reflection of how infectious Will's vulnerability, but how infectious the energy that he brought to us was. And imagine what that'd be like for the young men playing for him at Stade d 'Ara. Well let's have a listen then to the way that Will talks about himself and the players in his team, here it is When I took over it's like right, I'm big, I'm ginger I talk half decent English, half decent French, I'm from Belgium, working in France and I'm going to get things wrong deal with it he's Japanese, he pretends he can't speak English but he can he pretends he doesn't understand French but he does eats rice every lunch time for a meal isn't going to eat whatever we eat isn't going to talk whatever you're talking about, deal with it Marshall Munizzi from Zimbabwe talks about cricket runs a lot, smiles a lot eats weird things too makes a lot of noise but he's not the most comfortable in that situation, deal with it and I just went through every player and said we all have our own specifics we all have our own weird traits of character we all have almost that thing that makes us special just don't hide it don't try and put it away don't try and be someone that I don't want you to be just be whoever you want to be Will's still there the young manager of Stade Daha who at the time of us recording this episode are having another brilliant season under his management.

6:32You know, sometimes people can say things and you think, yeah, you're saying all the right words, but I wonder whether actually you really make people feel like that. You know, Will is saying there, this is the way I am. This is the way these people are. We're all flawed. We're all doing our best. Deal with it. Like, I totally can see that. That is exactly how he makes his players feel. This isn't someone sort of putting on a front or trying to tell us what he wants us to hear, is it? Well, it's just pure naked authenticity. and if you're comfortable with who you are, nobody can use any of those traits to harm you or to make fun of you or belittle you because you know exactly what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are.

7:10And I think that is summed up by the next guest that brought some incredible energy to us, which is the next guest, which is Ryland Clark. Now, I'd only ever seen Ryland on TV programmes and he's often got that big beaming smile. He often seems to be having great fun wherever he is, but you wonder how much of that is confected just for television. And yet when he walks into the studio with us, what you see on television is exactly what you meet in real life. I really like Rylan. If you're outside the UK, he's a TV presenter. He was on, well, he made his name actually on X Factor. He then went on Big Brother.

7:43He hosted Big Brother. He's a radio host here in the UK as well. And, you know, when we just spoke about allowing people to be authentically themselves, in so many ways, he's really clever at saying, look at me, you look at what I'm really like, he kind of owns the narrative around himself. So, you know, he loves to say, I started out as a joke and I'm still laughing. I think that's a brilliant line because it's like, this is me and I'm totally comfortable being me. And he was also comfortable telling us about a friend that lives in his garden, a pheasant called Patrice. Should we? It sounds ridiculous even saying it.

8:18I went on High Performance and spoke about Patrice, the pheasant in my garden that I feed. Should we hear him talk about it? Yeah, go on. I love this one. But I'm particularly struck by the technique that you described of talking just kindly to yourself like your toddler. And I'm interested, have you maintained that in your recovery? I actually have, and especially living alone as well. I noticed the other day, like, there's this pheasant that keeps running around my garden and I've named it Patrice. Clearly, I've got a lot of time on my hands. And I got up this morning and I went into my kitchen I was making a coffee and I looked out the window and I saw the pheasant and out loud, not just the voice in my head out loud I've gone oh there he is, little fucker but I've said it rather than think it and I don't think there's anything wrong with that because I'd say it if someone was there no one is there but actually I quite like a little chat with myself every now and again That is just an insight into someone who's really comfy in their own skin brilliant sense of humour like again it was just fun wasn't it when ryan was in the building yeah definitely he literally was somebody that lit up the room as was our next guest that we want to share the brilliant the ever-vescent jill scott the england lionesses euro winner and the queen of the jungle from the last season of i'm a celebrity get me out of here now we titled her episode inspire before you expire because her whole mantra was what fits with this Christmas season, which is giving energy to people, groups, and anybody lucky enough to be in a company.

9:59And we would count ourselves amongst that group. Here she is. You've won the Euros. You've done our home soil. You've played your part. What goes through your mind? I've still got goosebumps now when you say that. I have, when you're telling me. Literally. You know what? I ran straight over to Kira, who'd been playing obviously centre midfield and I think I'd just give her the biggest hug I thought she was absolutely fantastic throughout the tournament and I think I just said I just love you, thank you so much and I was like yeah I can't even put them feelings into words I really can't, I was like just won the Euros and I stayed out on that pitch for about two hours after, I was like I just don't want to leave this moment but yeah you just, you don't want to give cliche answers but it's like everything that you've ever wanted just happened but you know what the biggest thing now is I don't reflect on that moment as much.

10:51Like, as I say, I haven't watched the game back, but I'm just so happy that now we have a bit of fight and talk as young girls and, like, women that, oh, girls can't play football. Well, actually, we're one of Euros. And I think them young girls can just step into the school field and they can play with the boys and there'll be girls playing as well. And there's just no questions asked. And I get so many dads coming up to us and some of them will go, can I get a picture for my daughter? and the mate will go, he hasn't got a daughter. But there's so many that come up to us and they're like, you know what, my daughter plays now.

11:23And they're like, I'm going to kill you because I've got to stand on the side of the pitch now because I've got my son on the morning and then my daughter on the afternoon. And honestly, it just makes us like so happy. You know, I remember when they won the Euros, you know, Jill was saying she thought it was weird that they were being totally like at one with the crowd before they won it. And that Serena Wiegmann, who's also been on High Performance, was the person that said, hold on, connect to the crowd first and then they'll come on the journey with you and i think that you could feel that when she was with us and actually all of these guests are real masters of connection and it's it's probably a real good reminder for both of us that you you've got to connect with people for them to come with you on these things like you know you're every time i see the will stills results every time i see rylan on the telly every time i see jill doing something i'm happy for them because i'm like i met you and you were really nice therefore i'm backing you i in your corner, I think it's a good reminder that it really matters, this staff.

12:20Yeah, so Gill have recounted to us how Serena Viegman had told them that go and applaud the fans before the game, not after it, because that way you get them invested in you and when you really need their help and their support, they're willing to give it to you because you've already built that relationship. And I think that's really powerful for all of us to remember in any walk of life. There's that old saying that make friends before you need them. So don't ask for people's help when you're in trouble. If you've already invested the time in those relationships, they'll give it to you without you needing to request it.

12:53Well, let's move on then to another clip. I really want to share this with you. This is Barry Hearn, the legendary boxing promoter, giving us a bit of life advice. Final question for the people that have listened to this conversation, and it's been absolutely full of amazing gems and life lessons and wisdom. What would you want to leave people with? people from all walks of life and all ages and all backgrounds and all levels of success listen to this podcast and it isn't a podcast about success it's a podcast about happiness self-worth i think you do have a different attitude and i'm sure young people won't relate to some of the things i say as much as the elder people because what i'm talking about is what your granddad might tell you or your great uncle or your dad told you when you was younger the biggest lesson of all it just comes back to be the best you can be.

13:44That's all you can do. You can't do anything else. So there's no pressure because you can't be better than you can be. And try and do it with a smile on your face and don't take yourself too seriously because I'm not. I think that's a great message from Barry to just do your best. We don't hear it often enough. Do your best. No one else can ask for more of you than that. Yeah, well, it was echoed in the interview we did just a few months ago with Shane Parrish, the Canadian founder of Farnham Street, the brilliant blog, where he spoke about when people come to him and ask him for his help, his first question is, is this your best work?

14:21Because if it is, I'm willing to go the extra mile and help you improve it. But if you're just bringing your average work and hoping that I do the heavy lifting for you, that's not an investment I'm willing to make. So when any of us can honestly hand on heart and say, this is my best, this is the best that I'm capable of in this moment with the resources I've got, most people then will help you to see if your best can become even better. And a man who gave his best in the autumn of 2023 was Mauro Atoje, part of the England team that made it through to the semifinals of the Rugby World Cup, lost by a single point to the eventual winners, South Africa.

14:57The reason why we decided, Damien, wasn't it, to play this clip is that our approach to things in life actually really determines our experience of it. So this is Mauro basically talking about, getting smashed up in rugby. But he does it with this effervescent smile, laughter and positivity. And before we share the clip, let's just give listeners here a bit of context that he's easily the most fashionable guest that we've ever had on. How good did he look when he turned up? But also, you know when someone is like, they just have that aura, that energy. Like he walked in slowly. He was dressed really cool.

15:31He had that briefcase. Do you remember that really cool briefcase? And he sort of puts it down and shakes everyone's hands. There's no like... there's no rushed forced movement. I see this with Rio Ferdinand as well. He brings presence to the room by doing things at his own pace, almost like, all right, this might be an urgent room. There might be a lot going on, but I'm going to move at my own pace here. Yeah. So when Maro came in, yeah, he had that sense of calm, that calm authority. And then, you know, he was, he thought deeply about some of the questions that we were going to pose to him. So you remember he, he was the one that gave us the distinction between high performance and world-class performance, world-classes.

16:06is going to be an objective set of measures. High performance is subjective. So he was an incredibly charismatic guy who brought huge energy into the room. So let's listen to him talk about his early days when he was just an apprentice at Saracens and he came up against an unmovable force. This one was a bit in regards to, again, the physical differential between where I was or where I needed to be. So it was my first game for Saracens. It was a pre-season game. I think I was playing at Blindside Flanker for the game. Anyway, we were playing with the rugby team in Rotherham. And, you know, Rotherham are known for having gnarly forwards, like big, strong, physical team, mainly a set-piece sort of team.

16:59And as, you know, it happens in rugby, there was a little scuffle that was happening and then I came in to like protect my players. I pushed one guy, then he looked at me, then pushed me back. Then I was like, I just felt the push in my chest. I was like, whoa, this is, this is the same teenagers that I'm used to pushing. These are men. I felt the weight in his arms. Luckily, one of my teammates came to back me up. Otherwise, I would have been in a bit of trouble. So that was another example of like me realising that I need to get back in the gym. Mauro Otoje there, the England rugby player. It's a brilliant clip because it's like he could easily go, oh, it was really hard those early days.

17:51You know, I used to get smashed and battered up. But why not remember those days as great fun? Like how great to have someone going, that was hard, but I loved it. He was literally laughing while talking about getting smashed about. yeah like I'm a I'm a classic for that one that I'll often my brain is drawn to the negative when you think of an experience you think about the struggle you might have had or the difficulty and marrow was a great reminder of actually pick out the things that were fun that were enjoyable and made it a pleasure during that time of your life as well right and that leads us to our final clip that we'd like to share because if anyone came on the podcast this year and brought incredible energy it was the brilliant david smith the paralympian athlete and part of the reason that the energy was so profound for us was that david came and told us about the terminal diagnosis that he'd recently received just before he sat down with us and he wasn't dwelling on the negative he was dwelling on all the things that he had to be grateful in life and i think listening to this particular clip at this time of year is a great reminder of appreciating the small things because one day they'll be the big things so it's a little bit of education but i've i've watched friends loved ones you know fall fall apart i had a army friend on the phone two weeks ago and he was he couldn't even speak to me he was in tears he broke down on the phone i said hey it's happening to me not you um but i realized that everyone's different and i think for me it's brought everyone so much closer and i think that it's given me such a great appreciation of time that when I'm with you, I'm with you.

19:34So when I'm with you, I'm not on a phone. And this is, I think, what my loved ones have taken from this, is that when we're together, I'm with you, I'm listening to you, I'm hearing you. I'm not just sitting listening to reply or looking at my phone and doing a thousand things. And I think if you leave with anything today, leave with that. We're addicted in the dopamine rush to our devices when you're with your friends and loved ones you know really like be with them put put this stuff away and and i think that's probably if i can leave anything with my family that's been the biggest lesson from all of this so it's it's been hard for them and i think it always will be because my tumor is never well i say never going to go away it's it's something i live with for for every every living breath i take so it's something that i have to navigate with with my loved ones well is there a more important clip to finish on than that i don't believe so and i think if we if we could all aim to be a bit more present in 2024 it won't be a bad thing and that's a really good reminder that you know sometimes we can all get caught up and twisted up with thinking that high performance is these huge big leaps in certain directions and we should castigate ourselves if we don't get there but it actually isn't like all too often high performance is simply enjoying life, making the most of what we've got and realising that we only get a few thousand weeks on this earth.

20:58So if we can fill it with the kind of laughter that Marrow brought to us, the vibes that Jill Scott brought, the honesty that Will Still brought along, the randomness of Rylan or the sense of perspective that David brings us, then we're heading in the right direction. Yeah, and if anyone is kind enough to invite us into your life on Christmas Day or at this particular period, I hope that this has given you just a bit of brief pause to reflect, to be grateful, and to really appreciate and savour the opportunities that life has for all of us. Damien, happy Christmas. Happy Christmas, Jake. All the best.

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22:49And through it all, I wear figs. They're comfortable when it counts and functional when I need them the most. So where do you wear your figs? On shift, on call, on the couch in the break room, listening to this podcast, wherever it is, they fit right in. And now listeners of this podcast can get 15 % off their first order. Just head to wearfigs.com and use code FIGSRX at checkout. That's wearfigs.com, code FIGSRX.