344: Just the Two of Us: Catchup & Confessions

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1:06Ellie Gibson: hello scumbags this is the scummy mummies podcast with your hosts ellie gibson and helen thorne

1:19Ellie Gibson: hello and welcome to the scummy mummies podcast i just i'm sorry i didn't ask you who's starting i just thought i'd just start oh i think it's better that way we've all got things to do i like when you initiate things uh well yes well hello it's me ellie gibson and it's me helen thorne and it's just the two of us today oh yes i like that i mean i love our guests obviously don't get me wrong ellie don't get me wrong but we're we're at the beginning of the school year and we thought we'd just sit down and have a bit of a chat yes a bit of a catch up because you know we have seen each other and we've done some work obviously over the summer um but we've also been away and and yeah and it's just it's just well it's been a lot getting I've got my little son has gone to secondary school now so I've just sort of I'm just feeling like I can breathe again for the first time in a few weeks so we thought yes let's let's have a chat yeah hello listener and I'm sure you're feeling the same September sort of the new January I feel oh I love it man so the weather is good yes you're not you don't have like the Christmas hangover of I mean we we all love Christmas but there's something don't you know very well I will not hear a word against Christmas in this house Helen Thorne I know but I I sort of love September the start again sort of yeah I you know I I just bought a academic wall planner wow I know are you becoming an academic yes yes yes yes yes I've planned it out on my wall um a professor of what talking about running nonsense absolute nonsense uh no i got one through you know our lovely friend emma scott child she does these um it's a i put it up in maloo from september to august so we can plan out the school year because i have a gcse kid and an a levels kid we're going into the eye of the storm yeah so we sat down we've got six forms to go to university to go to mock exams all the things so I was like I got different colored pins and I felt I felt almost almost in control respect respect and I obviously we love Emma and I've seen I've seen her planners in your bathroom and I they're brilliant planners um I I would say I just having I do object to having it personally no object is the wrong word I the idea of having it in the bathroom I have to be honest does stress me out the idea of why you're having a shit being reminded that the mot is due i i just i wouldn't find that relaxing i know what you mean toilet time is personal time for me it's very it's a serene space yes yes i i see what it's mother's little sanctuary sometimes yes yes look this as we always say if it works for you don't yuck someone's yum exactly it is my yum thank you i really some people like rubber some people like calendars that's fine exactly in a similar vein my autumnal decorations are up thorn oh my god why don't we film these podcasts illy i because people will hate me because no it's beautiful and i won't be ashamed of it helen i this time of year i like a velvet pumpkin i like a glass pumpkin i like what you call it these days yes i like a remote control candle that's what i like oh and i won't be ashamed I did have a bit of pushback from people saying, like, Joe has someone to help with his maths.

4:34Ellie Gibson: She came around the other day and she was like, no, it's not autumn. I was like, no, Joe. She's called Joe as well. It's very confusing. That is confusing. I was like, no, Joe, autumn starts on the 1st of September. Yes. So you're legitimately allowed to put the decorations up then, right? Correct, Ellie. Thank you. Thank you. When does autumn start for Joe? Which Joe? The teacher Joe. Oh. The tutor Joe. Did she tell you when autumn should start? No. She just said you were wrong. She's very authoritative, so I was frightened to ask her in case it spoiled the vibe. But anyway, the autumn decorations are up.

5:08Ellie Gibson: And today, we're recording this on the 8th of September, for the first time of the season, I've put the fire on. Because it's all rainy and now we're all cosy. My brambly hedge jigsaw is out. Oh, I feel like I could turn into a toadstool right now. It's so good, though. I'm like craving routines. I batch cooked some soup. Oh, what kind? Oh, I did like a green goddess and mint thing. So it was like broccoli, courgette, spinach, you know, pea and onion and lots of garlic and mint. Oh, my God. And you put cottage cheese in it for protein because we obviously have to have protein in every meal. I mean, that's...

5:51Otherwise, otherwise the perimenopause will kill us. Yes, exactly right. So I'm just putting cottage cheese in everything now, Ellie. Are you? Yes. Well, all the holes. I know. Everything. So that made me very happy. A minty green soup. Yes.

6:07Ellie Gibson: I do love autumn, obviously. But I did have, and I will say I did have a good summer. I've had summers, to be quite honest, that I've hated because it's been too hot and because I've been stressed and I've had little kids and all of that. Yes, yeah, yeah. And this was actually a really good summer. And part of that is because I think the kids are a bit older and they are 11 and 15 now. So, like, you know, once they can wipe their own bottom and stuff like that and you can sort of leave them in a room and go in another room and send emails or whatever it is without worrying they're going to, you know, smash their head on a mantelpiece.

6:45Ellie Gibson: Yes. Like, it is a bit easier. having said that i was i was surprised by how much they do still need in terms of the eating helen they just want they just want food all the time it is relentless and also i just it's the questions like my kids are pretty my kids are pretty self-sufficient they can you know like they can make all their own meals they can actually do everything themselves but it's just like oh mom i'm gonna make this thing where's this thing oh no i found it where's it oh don't worry should I set the temperature for 180 or one ah and I'm like I'm just trying to finish writing this article or doing something I said I just need a bit of quiet for an hour can you just like and then all of a sudden I'll hear tiktoks I need to do a poo did you need to announce that did I need to know that so I think it was like just the low level uh yeah stress saying that my kids need to go to Australia for three and a half weeks or I should shut up I'll just shut up yeah that's pretty sweet um um yeah the time I did spend with them was lovely yes but this is but this is the thing I was trying to explain to someone the other day.

7:45Ellie Gibson: Of course, we all love our children and it's lovely that they interact with us and there's nothing wrong with children asking questions. Yeah. And, and for that reason, I always try to just be, you know, nice in response and not go off and fuck's sake or you're interrupting me. But that takes energy and effort. Yeah. And it's just the constant, like I was explaining it to Pete. Cause so, so Pete worked all summer, like full time, but like he works from home. So, you know, but he's in his office and I do try to keep, he's got to have meetings and stuff. Do you know what I mean? It's like a proper job.

8:12Ellie Gibson: not like what you might do yeah so when i'm trying to do work because you know people see our show and stuff but also we we still do the podcast in the summer and we still have to send emails and book things and yeah people are often the standard when i say no we do uh the marketing the finance the everything they're like you do all that like yeah we do yeah yeah we sort out the van insurance and we book the hotels and we yeah you send the posters to the theaters and yeah loads of stuff right so just admin but still even when it's sort of basic easy admin being constantly interrupt having to stop what you're doing answer the question politely go and find the thing or you know tell them where the fucking bread is or whatever it is and then get back to the task at hand it's just exhausting isn't it yeah yeah yeah and i i um and i was saying we were having a chat before about rest and relaxation and like you think oh summer you get to rest no i actually feel rested now yeah after even though i'm like and also it's the yeah it's the lack of kind of having the routine that i i actually really i really like it yeah um so i'm feeling much more chilled now but it but also we we were hotter than the sun of on the summer as well that made it a little bit uh stressy as well it was very hot and um yeah i think two things made this summer better for me than usual.

9:36Ellie Gibson: One was, I know I've gone about it, but the awning, Helen, got an awning from retractable awnings in my back garden that we had put in last summer. It's the gift that keeps on giving, Ellie. And just being able to sit in the garden and feeling like the garden is actually, because our lovely friend Joy has also been doing my garden for me, feeling like the garden is a nice place to sit was a game changer. And also I decided after about a week of the summer holidays to allow myself to just stop trying to do all the things and by all the things I was like well the things I have to do I have to do work like we were just talking about I have to do some of that admin I have to edit the podcast and I have to look after the children and I have to spend time with them and do nice things as well because I don't feel guilty and I don't want to miss this time with them and all that stuff but the stuff that I do for myself um like trying to write my novel and going to the gym and you know I I sort of let that go which sounds counterintuitive and I was reluctant to do it because I was like we're always being told aren't we to put the oxygen mask on yourself I mean we said that put the oxygen mask on yourself do stuff for yourself it's not selfish it's just yeah you know self-care but I realized that it's just it was just too much and actually trying to do that was making me stressed I know again I know this isn't everyone's experience some people like have to do exercise to feel good but I found that trying to factor in going to the gym and then feeling guilty about leaving the kids on their own or you know not having sent the email that I had to send was making me worse so I just I just sat those things off and felt better.

11:12I think that sounds like growth Ellie. I think that that sounds like.

11:16Ellie Gibson: I mean you know I'm now like completely unfit and I still haven't finished my novel but you know whatever we're a constant work in progress Ellie yeah but but I think I think that is one of the great gifts of getting a bit older is knowing what's tough to let go and and taking the pressure off yourself as well which is a real which a really nice thing and and just going actually yeah this time with the kids we can't replace we can always go back to the gym you can write your novel a bit later but having that time and just having a fucking laugh with your kids like actually just enjoying their company now that they are more they are more fun now that they're older sometimes yeah yeah true true yeah i think i i heard this somewhere else but it's about understanding isn't it that just like actual seasons uh life goes in seasons and in the summer it is not the season for me for going to the gym and writing books if it is for you congratulations well done you but for me um that's just not not what it was but um and then and then And so, yeah, I had a nice time.

12:19Ellie Gibson: But yeah, I was still like, oh, my God, 1st of September. Get the jumper on. Oh, my God. Oh, I know. I know. Woolly jumpers down. And he did go to, he went to lovely Greece. Now, what was that like for a week? Lovely Greece. So this year we went to the island of Paxos for a week, which was beautiful. And it was recommended to me by Helen McGinn. A.K.A. A.K.A. Our close personal friend and the Saturday Kitchen wine expert and excellent novelist. and she wrote a great novel that I read called The Island of Dreams which is set on Paxos and she made Paxos sound so idyllic and lovely that I thought I should go there and I did and everything she said was correct and I went to like some of the restaurants in the book and stuff and it was just gorgeous and it's teeny tiny right so it's only seven miles long by two miles wide so it's sort of really little and there's not like big hotels there and stuff it's all sort of you know just Just cosy and gorgeous and blue seas and amazing food.

13:17Ellie Gibson: And we did a bit of scuba and just had a gorgeous time. Oh. Yeah. Did you have a Greek salad in Greece? I did, mate. And do you know what? What? It was amazing. I was like, oh, yeah, let's get some salad. Well, we're in Greece. We'll get a Greek salad or as they call it there, a salad. And it arrived and it was just beautiful fresh veggies with a whole slab of feta on the top sprinkled with oregano. That's how they do it. Yeah, none of this chopping it up. No cubes. No. Chop your own feta, the Greeks say. Oh, my God. And they're right. Because then you can cut off a bigger portion than everybody else.

13:50Ellie Gibson: Yes, please. And that was in this beautiful garden up in the hills where they just, we just drove past it one day and went, let's go there. They just had loads of meat on spits outside. You're talking my language, friend. So we went in there and had the amazing Greek salad and just roast meats. And I can still taste it now, Thorne. It was amazing. So tell us about your summer jollies. Well, yes. I did sort of, well, three major things. I did a hike. Now, this is one of my, I would highly recommend. I did it through our friend, Tanya, who has a company called Live Breathe Hike. Who we went to Everest Space Camp with.

14:33Exactly. So Tanya is sort of about our age and has been a mountain guide half her life. and she puts together these great um great trips and she had a new one and she said Helen I want you to try it out for me so um I got a lovely freebie thank you Tanya um so it was Live Breathe Hike and another group called Much Better Adventures anyway it was a hiking and wild swimming um trip and for five days um I went flew into the Pyrenees and I was with a group of 14 strangers which I you know initially I was like oh this is a you know a bit of out of my comfort zone but I dipped right in I was the oldest I was the only mum most people were single they're all from different backgrounds but I had the best time ever oh good I felt renewed because no one I didn't know anyone so people just ask me what I like what I'm interested in when you

15:28Ellie Gibson: you're not tempted to make up a whole new persona I could have done that yeah I'd have been like That's an opportunity I could. Oh, yes. I'm a neurosurgeon. Yes. Yeah. And my name is Ramona and I'm originally from the Isle of Man. Yes. Yes. I could have done that. Oh, I'll do that next time. And then you could have scammed people out of millions of dollars or something. I don't know. I've been listening to a lot of scam podcasts lately. It's probably not good for me. Well, you know me. I'm sometimes too honest. But it was really nice. Like I talked about, you know, studying history of art and I, you know, there were bits of me that I hadn't sort of, I was going to say, there's bits of me I hadn't explored for years.

16:09That sounds pervy. And also untrue. Yeah. But, yeah, I had such a lot and it was beautiful and it was mild weather. And, yeah, every day I walked up, we did sort of like 10, 15 kilometres and then one night we went overnight in a refuge, walked right up to the top. It was the night of the eclipse. So watch the eclipse and like went out for drinks and I know it was just heaven. I love drinks. I do. And I realise, I was saying this to you before, I was off grid. There was no, there was no Wi-Fi. So every day I woke up, had my, you know, three free croissants from the breakfast buffet. They gave us a big baguette and some snacks and we went off in the minibus.

16:51And then for eight, ten hours hiked, did a bit of wild swimming and all that sort of jazz. And it was brilliant. Oh, it sounds creamy. Really bloody lovely time. And I had two young chaps with the guides, Seb and Henry, and they were lovely. And we just sort of meandered along and it was really nice and made new friends like I like doing. Young people, people from America, people from all over the shop. And it was, yeah, it was great. So I really enjoyed doing that. And then earlier, before the kids went to Australia, me and my daughter, we went to Amsterdam for three days and had a really lovely time, one-to-one.

17:27oh so that was really good bloody love amsterdam too um did not smoke weed okay yeah well you know

17:35Ellie Gibson: yeah probably for the best yeah i know yeah so so i did that so that was and then the other thing obviously we did uh festivals we'll get on to that in a minute but i had two weeks where me and my fella um we we lived together so you did a trial marriage like have you seen the ultimatum on Netflix I've seen it advertised I haven't I haven't I haven't gone in it's awful oh god it's really bad like because you and I like love is blind right obsessively so and married at first sight Australia it's it's like that but but like it's just bad it's um so for anyone who hasn't seen it probably don't watch it but it's it's about um these it's about couples and usually they're like often they're weirdly young and really have got no business getting married anyway but the deal is that one and it could be the the so there's a straight version and a queer version with lesbians the lesbian version is much better and more interesting yes and definitely watch that one that one's great but the straight version is it's men and women and one half the couple could be the man or the woman and wants to get married and the other person doesn't so rather than perhaps working through this in therapy or you know deciding to move on or commit what they do is they go let's go on an international television program and um give my partner a hard sort of choice and and and do a wife swap so they go oh wow so they wow yeah so they all meet up all these couples and half and and then they they they mix it up so they they they break up like they say this is our last night they're on a break on a break and then they all go to like a pool party in bikinis and shit and like date each other and as you might imagine helen things start to go quite wrong quite quickly and then um the the people have to pick a partner so they pick a new partner and they go and they live with that person and they have a trial marriage with this other man or woman and sometimes they get off of each other and bone sometimes nothing happens it's quite boring uh and often again you'll be amazed to hear some of the people are revealed to be terrible narcissists or abusive people.

19:44Gaslighters.

19:47Ellie Gibson: Awful people. Bad men. And as you know, I'm a big fan of sort of reality, terrible reality television, but there's just something so depressing and sad and silly about The Ultimatum. Yes. That obviously I had to watch the entire series. Yes, to completion. To completion. But I don't think I will be doing it again unless it's the lesbian one. um so anyway I can't remember how so what I'm saying is you decided to do a real life ultimatum yes but without the wife swapping no or the television aspect we didn't film it so not really similar at all uh no we just spent two two weeks together in a house and and lived as we would as a as a couple so like he went to work we made dinners together you know there were nights I went out with friends he was just at home in my house like all that sort of thing and it was lovely it was really really really lovely and because we've been together for nearly four years now and um we're he's going to move in um with us next year and we thought we've got this opportunity why not just live as we would because at the moment at the moment when we see each other it's like a massive trick because we won't see each other for like three or four days and we're like oh wow and so obviously we're on our best behavior we've showered we may have shaved some areas you know things like that but we thought no we need to we need to kind of know what it's like so we had a really great time and so but we wanted to be honest and wasn't like oh this is perfect so um I noticed that my partner doesn't eat a lot of vegetables right yes so I said right I think if we live together we've got to eat more vegetables and cook together and that's what we did every night and then he noticed that my washing habits uh were unconventional as in as in as in sorry my clothes washing habits not my other washing habits so I just like to throw everything in together towels colors silks anything yeah all goes in one go and he said no i think we should separate the colors like a normal adult person yes exactly right um so that they were out that were us they were our snags yes yes and and you know i will always have your back and i will always take your side because you're my friend um except for on this issue yeah which i 100 % And so actually, I was talking about this with you and Albro, wasn't I?

22:02Ellie Gibson: Yes. At the festival. Yeah. Yes, you were. Because you were talking about this. And I said, listen, Albro, he was like, I just want them separated into colours and whites. And I said, let me blow your mind, Albro. In our house, we do colours and then we do a white wash. But then we also have a night's wash, which is for clothes that are like pale colours, beige, your baby blue, your powder pink. Yes, yes, yes. not you don't want them you know traumatized by the darks wash but you also they're not white enough to go in the whites wash in case oh in there so uh we actually have a triple system and alvaro was like that's what i'm talking about yeah yeah yeah so now actually he and i are going to do a two-week trial marriage and uh see how we go and then pete and i could just get together and smoke cigarettes for two weeks well yeah but pete loves pete loves to put a laundry on you saw him do one this morning he it's his favorite thing is to put a laundry on he loves it i saw his little face yeah very sweet and then he likes hanging it out he doesn't like putting it away but that's i don't mind doing that because i also have a system of color coding and different fabrics and items and so forth okay that's fine yeah yeah but um he but sometimes i just i can't keep up with him because he's putting a he's you know there is a word for that as well that we didn't make up What is it?

23:20Ellie Gibson: Or an acronym? O-Lad. One laundry a day. Yeah. There's people who do whole Instagram reels about O-Ladding. But it doesn't matter if it's like a full load. You just want to put half a load. It doesn't matter. I mean, why would you not put a load on? Why would you ever put half a load in? Why would you? You don't have enough. This is like when you had that waxing and you only asked for half your legs. And I was like, why would you just do half a load? I know, I know, I know, I know. Why not full? Are you seriously telling me that you often are in a situation where there's not enough dirty laundry in your home to do a full load?

23:56Or I'm very tired and I don't want to go upstairs again. Oh, I see. And so I've got like one and a half loads worth. Yeah. And then there's a half load and I go, no, never mind.

24:07Ellie Gibson: It'll be extra clean. Yeah. We have been known on occasion, Thorne, to do a two lad, two laundries in a day. But you've really got to plan that outfit. You've got to think about your airing space. so you can use the washing line outside. Yes, yes, yes. This is the content, people, I'm sure. If you're still with us, I mean, I'm surprised. What we did on our holidays and our laundry-based preferences. Welcome, everybody. Highly relatable. Highly relatable. You could be listening to a podcast about a murder. That's what I'd be doing if I was you. But here we are. I'm into listening to podcasts about longevity.

24:38Are you? Yes, you know, about things. But then you think, oh, just have fun now. you know you know take a day off it's all right why i'm exercising for my older self just have fun

24:50Ellie Gibson: why don't you do a podcast called just have fun now where you just chain smoke through it constantly and just eat fried bread and like yeah oh speaking of which and i mean you might you might want to cut this out but this is very funny i had my interview definitely cut it out them i had my interview for my life insurance the other day and they have to thank you finally how many years have i been telling you to get life insurance my whole life that's right anyway um so she interviewed me and she's like um have you smoked the last year and i said oh i'm 10 months off i'm 10 months off so i i quit in the beginning uh i think of november last year anyway so yeah So I'm nearly a year clean.

25:35And she said, well, it'll cost you twice as much. Wow. And so I'm in a dilemma. Do I just start paying the life insurance twice as much or do I hang off for two months?

25:46Ellie Gibson: Do we think that you're going to stay alive for two months? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would take that gamble. I would take that bet. I think we can keep you alive. Yeah, I reckon so. Have you got anything dangerous coming up? Are you swimming with any sharks? No. Are you doing any skydives? No, no, no. You got any funny lumps? I mean apart from apart from the inherent ones yeah no I think I think it's all right and then I think having not lived with life insurance for 47 years yeah I would take the punt that another two months won't do you any harm yeah yeah I think I think that's it because it that's mad oh it's extortionist she gave me a quote back it was something like 153 quid a month and then I was like I think it's not meant to be that much um and then the other question she asked she said have be done and equal drugs oh and i said oh you're the fun ones ibuprofen uh i was like oh i strep cells great uh but yes anyway you're gonna wait two months and then get your life insurance and then i i will sleep better at night for one yes and then i could do the main thing i'm gonna do my urine test uh you've got to do a urine no i know i know i'm just i'm just making that up but i just i you know at the end of it i just felt a bit dirty like i'm like fag ash lil yeah i was like and then i started overcompensating going i run four times a week and i've done 14 marathons she did not care listener no there's no box for that no sally show off yes no because that doesn't cancel that out does it that's like when my dad says um oh yeah no i had four pints of lager and a whiskey but i also had a pint of water he thinks it's like a sort of weird system where it flushes the alcohol and i'm like no but your body's still processing the alcohol the health maths yeah yeah Yeah, yeah.

27:25Ellie Gibson: So anyway, we've all lived a life. But anyway, so what exciting things should we talk about now? We've done laundry. We've done life insurance. We've done what we did on our holidays. Let's talk about upcoming plans because we have got some exciting upcoming plans, haven't we? We've got some excellent plans. We've got a new show coming out next year, Ellie, which I'm very excited about. That was one of my highlights, actually, of the summer. We did a photo shoot in like 38 degrees with the amazing Nikki Bamford-Bose. and then they went mild on Instagram and Amazing Lowell, the photographer. And yeah, we did a super boiling hot photo shoot.

27:59Ellie Gibson: So no spoilers, but it was a lot of fun and the shoot involved my car, which I very much enjoyed. And it was super fun and I think the photos look great and the poster looks great. And our new show, we can say, is called On the Edge, Helen, isn't it? It's a great title, Ellie, because that's how we feel as we probably have demonstrated all the time, just feeling a little bit on the edge. Yeah. Too many plates are spinning. On the edge of everything as well. On the edge of the menopause, on the edge of some days, divorce in my case, on the edge of, you know, parents being poorly and having to look after them and on the edge of just life, really.

28:44Ellie Gibson: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know... On the edge of kids leaving home, everything. It feels like a really sort of precarious time often, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you are just minutes away from losing it. That's how I feel like, oh, am I, do I just need to clock into some sort of, not rehab centre, I want to go somewhere I don't speak for a week. You know, like a silent retreat. Like a Buddhist retreat. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd like you to go somewhere you don't speak for a week. Can I come? But I'm allowed to speak. That sounds great. That sounds like a Netflix show. Why don't we try a Buddhist retreat in the fan?

29:19Happy for you to retreat. You could get a little badge, tap your badge every time. Oh, it's Buddhist retreat time now, Helen. Come on, Helen. Yeah, yeah. Quiet time.

29:33Ellie Gibson: So the new show is about all of that kind of thing. We've already written some songs and some sketches and we're working with our friend Rob Dearing, who is a great director and a funny man. So he's helping us with that. You wrote a great song yesterday. A fully formed song came into my WhatsApp. I was like, Ellie Gibson's on fire. Sometimes it happens, doesn't it, babe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes you have to sit there and nut it out. And that's why I like working with you because two brains is easier to sit there and go, oh, no, but this, this, this. And sometimes ideas, like the idea for this podcast 13 years ago, just pop fully formed into your head.

30:09Ellie Gibson: Yeah. So apparently it would seem, Helen, that I have a good idea once every 13 years. Great. It's good to know. So that song's in the can. But yes, so that show will be sort of touring from February next year. Tickets aren't on sale yet, but will be soon. Yes. But in the meantime, you can come and see us with our current, which is still good show, Hot Mess. And I would say, honestly, it's good now because we've been doing it for nearly two years. Yeah. So it's a year and a half. So it's properly like polished and I'm going to say funny. do you know what it's like it's like a when you reduce a sauce yes you know it's or or when you eat a stew the day after yes you know things have just fallen into place and things have marinated a bit more it's like a day old lasagna it's layers but everything's melded together and it's you know it's it's good yeah so hot mess is on till we've got 29 shows left for the year yeah yeah yeah uh that's made me a bit sad i like i really like this show but i tell you i say that now it's because we haven't done it for a couple of months when we get to like show 19 i'm gonna be like fuck me how many more yeah i know i know when everything's just a bit um on the turn you know the catsuit smell a bit we just like do i have to say this again however if you are going to the later shows we will do it with confidence absolutely absolutely we'll not look dead behind the eyes yes we will be out there and and it's um yeah it's been a great show to do because it was the first time we really stepped away from doing stuff about mums and more about us yeah and i i've really enjoyed that and and what's really nice if you've come to our show is that people have come along with us on the journey and when we go into the audience say who he's got a young baby um it's my it's mainly people our age so it feels like we're growing with the audience vis-a-vis.

31:59Indeed.

32:01Ellie Gibson: So, yeah, Hot Mess is coming to Gloucester this month and then we're going to Chipping Norton, we're going to Sevenoaks. Harrogate. Harrogate. Aldershot. Aldershot, yes. North Arlington. Newcastle. This is good for our breath. North Arlington, yeah. Various other places. It's all on scummyirms.com. And then we've got our big Irish tour in November, first week in November. This is what I'm really excited about. Galway Derry slash London Derry Dublin and Belfast yes Belfast is on the Saturday night which will be absolutely banging it's going to be rocking and Nurse Jessie is going to come and bring all her Belfast family so it's going to be unbelievably excellent so there we go and also we didn't do any shows in the summer but we did do a couple of festivals Helen didn't we really really really fun yes and we took the well I took my family kids to the Camp Festival but we had a really great time yeah Yeah, Camp Festival was great.

32:57Ellie Gibson: And then we did the Big Feastival, which is the one on Alex James's farm. And I loved that one. It was really good because The Streets was on and The Streets is one of my favourite actors. Although I did very much enjoy Billy Ocean at Camp Festival. Yes, yes. Shout out to him. He was great. And I saw the Cuban Brothers at both festivals because they are just my favourite of all time. I love them. So that was good. So what we thought we'd do for confessions, this episode, is read out the confessions. These are from Big Feastable, I think. Yeah, they are. And they were extra good. So, yeah. Shall we just dip in?

33:33Ellie Gibson: Child pooed in middle of library story time. Many children walked through it. Wow. And then she's just underlined many. I thought that was a lovely touch for emphasis. She has painted quite a picture with her words with that one. This was one of my favourites. we didn't bring our two-year-old daughter to big festival and i don't even feel bad it's fun watching all the other kids tantrum and scream while we get pissed i do miss her very much though i love that in brackets just to say i'm not a really awful person i'm not a terrible person yeah and now this one was from a child called cormac and i met cormac delightful child well done you Cormac um I once thought someone else was my dad so I kissed him and as I said to Cormac look mate we've all done that we've all yeah in fact I did that just last night and had to explain to the kids it was just a mistake turned out he was a member of Basement Jacks anyway uh yes oh I love this this is Brackett's dad has written this I forgot to pack the bed for the festival

34:38Ellie Gibson: oh and he's got a sad smiley face sad smiley face my child swallowed a dishwasher tablet then two weeks later drank rinse aid i lied at a and e and said i had door locks oh mate and the child was fine yeah absolutely it was all fine this is another good one they've got a massive cheer actually we told our kids feast of all is adults only so we could get pissed for three days without them cheers daughter in reception had to draw a story of her favorite places to visit and she put the pub excellent it's definitely one of my favorite places um i love this one my date bar obsessed two-year-old had not shit for three days until an hour ago it's all in the potty next to me now oh i remember that and everyone was like oh my god which is sitting next to a shit wow this one uh is a good one after a night out giving kids a twix each for evening meal absolutely excellent i like that she didn't specify though whether it was like a packet of like two twix bars or whether she just opened one twix and gave them a bar each i know i'd love to know please write in if you're listening now this is the winner this is the mud the lollipop lady told me off because i got pissed at the school summer event and fell in a bush amazing incredible now this was she won this lady and she came on stage and her name was denise queen denise oh and i said talk us through the instant so she said she got really pissed at like the pta event yeah uh as a summer fair and she said that the it was the pims was a one pound towards the end that's it so she went in she went in in with pims and on the way home she fell into a bush and the lollipop lady saw her so the next day she was shamed my friend she was shamed yeah well and then we said well look we are your people look at you now look at you now yeah and it turned out the lollipop lady was actually at the first no she wasn't it would have been amazing but the crowd went wild the crowd went crazy um so yes it was it was such a great show so thanks for having us big feast for just an amazing it was a great day it really was and the food was excellent we had some delicious delicious food so it was it was it was a good time it was a good time excellent well there we go mate so we've had yeah quite the summer but we are really looking forward to cracking on with the rest of the tour and then riding a new one to take on 27 28 my friend yes and getting back into work you know i like an inbox zero or as close as i can get usually about 20 or 30.

37:17Ellie Gibson: Guess what I'm on, Helen? What are you on? 847. That's not going to help you. It's stressing me the fuck out! Do you want to know what mine is? It's something like 10 ,000. Go on, let's have a look. Hang on, hang on. No, 23 ,230. Okay, I'm so sorry. That's making me unwell. I know, I know. I mean, it does explain a lot. It does. Okay, good, good, good, good. Oh, 23 ,229 now. Anyway, never mind. I'm going to send you one just to make it a round number. yeah thank you very much yeah okay I need to go and go to the gym now and have a sound bath just to calm down yeah fair enough so let's go alright go go go but thank you very much for listening listeners hope you had a good summer why not write in we haven't done this for ages why not write in with your scummy summer or indeed autumnal confessions scummy mummies podcast at gmail.com yes and of course you know tell your friends about the show if you've been to see Hot Mess or saw us at the festivals yeah tell them to come along too yes yeah thanks is that it?

38:16that's it isn't it? I feel like that's enough I do need a wee actually so

38:20Ellie Gibson: nice to catch up lovely to see you again you too darling yes and I can't wait to get in the van with you I know it's going to be great yes especially now we're doing the Buddhist retreat thing so yes thank you for listening everybody bye until next time bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

38:44Hang on one sec, sorry. Oh, oh, he's gone. Stop, stop, stop. Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

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