“A Reminder To Be Kinder” - The Christmas Mental Health Talk & Is Exercise Underrated Therapy?

0:28This is so simple to answer. be clancy me pete garage bonjour bonjour bonjour monsieur you look very smart today i know we've got a dinner later actually business dinner oh are you going down with it i've just built coffee all down myself which is why i actually wore this undershirt so i could change it afterwards undershirt yeah you mean t-shirt well yeah oh no this is an overshirt i'll be i'll say a bit about fashion this is an overshirt this is an undershirt that's a shacket so it's called a Shacket. Shit jacket. No, shirt and jacket mixed in. And deck love a shacket, don't they? It's with our YouTube partners, actually, to try and help boost the podcast.

1:08Well, why aren't we invited? Because people know... Without us, you'd be nothing. Right back at you, sister.

1:18No, I'm joking. How about we? Great. Really good. What have you been up to? What have you been up to? Tasha's still going strong. I can see that clearly Natasha's going well yeah the old womb room have we had any trimmage on that at all or is that just no I've just like trimmed around it okay okay okay yeah like your beard it kind of goes out doesn't it it's a good few mill over your lips it's a little bit wispy it's like a yard brush is almost what I want to describe it it's going out do you know what I mean I feel like what I want it to do is grow more and then I think it will get heavy and push down I think so as well it's like your hair you go for that awkward stage with your hair you need to like grow it out yeah I think yeah so I mean listen if you see it creeping in December maybe January Pedro it's tasty I'm not gonna lie I almost feel attracted to myself I'd like to just see how far I can get with it do you know what I'm thinking yeah your muzzy has grown more than my hair in the last three years Anna Anna's

2:16no I was just thinking every week Ross has like a new hairstyle like yeah you've never your hair's never got to that length yeah At the back? Ped? My hair grows like wildfire, but my facial hair does not grow like Pete's asshole. My hair grows fast. It grows, but you don't have the length. It's the same style all the time. No, but I kind of hide the length. When you pull it all out, it goes big. How do you hide the length?

2:47Just down the leg. Shut up. That was actually a genuine question. I tried the leg because he's doing a very good fucking job. I've never seen a bit of it. Just straight down the leg, darling. Abby, you mean I'm loving your little outfit today? Well, great. I had to just get up this morning early, get in the shower, let my hair dry on its own, which is like... I like it when it's like that. Oh, well, it's just like a big frizzle. It's got a bit of a curl in it. Well, my hair's naturally wavage. Wavage. Wavage. And then we had to go to Lib's Kindness Hymn Day at school. So her and her class performed a little kindness concert.

3:29Kindness concert? What a lovely, like, reason for a show. Yeah. You know, it was just about being kind. Kindness is key. And it was saying, you know, actually, if you are kind, it's actually good for your body. It was backed up by science. We were talking about this when we read some of those Instagram things. It's backed up by science. Yeah. And apparently when you smile or make someone else feel, do something kind, do an act of kindness for someone else, it makes you release hormones which make you heinous, which are actually anti-aging. And me and Pete were like, God, that makes so much sense.

4:09You know, when you see these miserable people... That's why it looks so old. You know Mito's have like jowls. And the face are like jowly. They're really down. Whereas I would say more upbeat. Yeah, you might have a few lines because you've got smile lines. Smile lines, yeah. But I think you're more... I'd say your face would be more up than down. Yeah. Yeah. Genuinely. You see these hard gangsters, you know, in the time when they're getting up and trying a lot, like Godfather, and you go, mate, you've lived a naughty life. Whereas people like you say, like Ronnie Barker or something like that.

4:37I think it definitely, yeah. And it was talking about, you know, the feeling that you get and the change in your body when you do something kind or you receive a compliment, that kind of thing. Yeah, look how happy I am when you buy me things.

4:55No, I'm joking. I actually prefer giving to receiving gifts. You're a giver rather than a receiver? Yes. That looks about right, that moustache. Do you have any footage of the kindness content? I actually do, yeah, you know. I've lined it up. Here we go. Listen to this. In our work and in our faith God, this is the way We need a reminder to be kind

5:31That's a nice harmony, by the way.

5:36Isn't that lovely? How nice is that? Round and fours. Do you know what? So quote of the day, we need a reminder to be kinder. I might get that tussied. I think it's a lovely saying, that. I do. Maybe we should put it on our pod. That'll stick in our head as well. I remember we did the Harvest Festival, and I had the Harvest Festival across the path. Cauliflower's fluffy, and cabbage's green. Sleeping in a blankety bed. Yeah, I sang that one as well. It never leaves your head. Do you know what I mean? It's a shooting, man. I'm not doing like kindness, whatever it was. We used to do one about...

6:10I mean, we were so forward-thinking in our school. We were already talking about the planet very early. But I had a good one about the growing pile of rubbish. There's a growing pile of rubbish It's reaching to the sky And if we do not stop it soon The pile will get too high Is that them landfills by Ealing? Yeah, there was a huge landfill by ours, yeah. They disguised it as big... Like a hill. Like a hill now. What's the song that you were just singing that along to? There's a growing pile of rubbish. That's a tune that goes, isn't it? Reach into the sky. And if we do not stop it soon. Did you sing Gloria?

6:52Gloria? In excelsis Deo? No. I was going to sing Julie's original. So do you remember someone in, what was the one, what was the one they used to sing? acorns and there's a jet plane meeting in the air to be refueled all the things I love so now I mustn't forget now I mustn't forget to be a great big thank you I mustn't forget sorry I can't stop singing my pizza song and he goes out in the morning and in the early afternoon and when he

7:36What is that song? I don't know. Listeners, comments. There's nothing worse than not knowing a song. I know, can't wait for the rest of this podcast. But you know, like, all those things you sing, like the hymns and stuff like that, like... Well, that lips tutor is teaching her at times tables to Sabrina Carpenter. What a shelf. It's like... What a shelf. And one times eight is eight, don't forget it. and two times eight is sixteen and three times eight is twenty-four go on is it? got only eights yeah very good but you never forget songs no you don't Pete knows everywhere never forget songs so Pete knows the whole the whole fucking verse to candy shop I've tried to pull on that song many times and got nowhere.

8:35I'll take you to the candy shop. No thanks. Yeah, you're all right. All right, well, do you have any weekly wines this week, babe, or have I been a good boy? My weekly wine is, obviously, Christmas is a coming. Holidays are coming. Holidays are coming. And we've done nothing because everything I asked Pete to get, he goes, yeah, no props, babe, and hasn't ordered anything, so now half the things are sold out. Okay. It's a simple one, but it's highly annoying. Peter, this is a repeat performance every year. Yeah, it is, yeah. What's your response? Learn. Get it, get it, yeah. Why did you give me the same fucking job?

9:15Learn from it. Send me off with the booze, I'll sort that. I've also got another weekly wine that I've broke my phone and I got a replacement and Pete said he'll set it up for me two weeks ago. I was here when you did tea through that. And now every time I speak to someone on the phone and put my ear on, it records the call and it goes, this call is being recorded. You don't need that one. Claire was like, why are you recording this call? I'm like, I'm not. But I just don't know how to turn it on or turn it off. Yeah, that is... I'm happy to do it for you, no problem. I'll genuinely... But you have to let go of your phone.

9:53Good point, my mate. I like this, touche. For five minutes. what about an idea to solve both your weekly whysers you go shopping to like Stratford or something like that you drop your phone at the Apple shop and then go and get all the kids gifts Stratford well wherever you go or London Stratford Stratford-Bonehaven if you want to order something as well you can just go and order it I can't I can't because I haven't got a bank card it's I need because that's another thing that you didn't do You're supposed to put my bank card. I don't know why these problems that feel like they're Abby's problems are my problems.

10:32Because you've lost the gesture. But you didn't put my bank card on my phone. But number one, your bank card. But I don't know what to do. And your phone. I was like just putting the bank card on top of the phone and thinking it would just go in, but it doesn't. Yeah, it does actually. If you can, scan them. Take a picture of it. Piss off with that. I hate that. I can. I hate that when you go into a restaurant, don't you? Oh, well, you're scouting the menu and all that. Oh, no, no, no, I don't like that at all. Yeah, I mean, it is a bit mad, isn't it? I can't bear it. What if your fucking phone's dead?

11:06Exactly. Well, I couldn't go to a restaurant if my phone was dead because I've got bank cards. You can pay me at all your orders. Google me, I'll be back in ten minutes. Yeah, but you genuinely never had a bank card full stop, even when phones weren't even a thing. You might go out with your phone, but when phones weren't invented, you'd go out without a bank card. Yeah, that was taxable. I had to rummage through your bag the other day and steal a little... I noticed because everything was in entirely the wrong place. Oh, my God. Guess what I found today when I was getting off the trains coming in to use.

11:35So Sam was driving the car, and I was like, stop the car! Like, put my hand on the airbags. And he, like, slams on like that, run out. I thought I'd seen a tenner on the ground. £50? No. That's mine, eh? It was a leaf. And then I was like, oh, no, fuck, I've misseen. And then I looked, and it was a tenner. Picked it up. It was two tenners together,£20. That's mine, eh? What happened? Really? You don't carry cash like the Queen? You just go through Pete's bank card? No. The kids are like that. We had to go to the Christmas fair the other day. And it was like cash. And I was like, I haven't got any cash.

12:06I had to just have a little rummage through Pete's bag. Got about, spent 150 quid in that bloody school fair. Mate. It's absolutely ridiculous. A bloody 3D printed title. £30. £30? It should just be raffles and stuff like that. That's Oscar. We used to do the best Christmas fairs. That was like me and mum's Christmas shop and going to our school fair. I do love a school fair. Me too. You had a horse in our one this year? The summer ones used to be good, didn't they? We just did, like a teacher would go in the thing and you'd get like a sponge and throw it out. I hate him, I hate him. Two plus two is what, sir?

12:52Okay, babe, listen, rather than doing a weekly wine today, it's kind of a weekly shine I don't know if you remember the guy that got in touch with us who was really struggling I think a lot of people do suffer especially at Christmas time as well this time of year for sure you're around your family and it's such a wonderful time for so many people but there are people that are maybe alone or struggling a little bit and this guy reached out to us remember and he was he was having a tough time and remember he had a laugh with us he wrote into the podcast he was actually writing again we've been keeping in touch with him just to make sure he's good he says guys I don't know what to say I had no idea my email would be part of the show.

13:28Hearing Abby vocalise my pain was such a unique experience. I then invited my three older sisters and younger brother to my mum's house to listen to it with me. My mum and sisters were sobbing. They had no idea I was in such a dark place. I'm good at smiling and dismissing people's concerns. The conversations that followed were beautiful. My family were able to fill me with love and warmth. my stupid belief that they didn't love me anymore and I was a burden was completely destroyed by their words since I sent that email my life has genuinely changed I've made a vow to try and embrace my future I was not able to say those words out loud I felt guilty and shame for being so weak Abby delivered the email in a way I simply couldn't the softness of her approach disarmed me completely and my family send their thanks and love to all three of you for being there for me when they couldn't.

14:20Next week is the one-year anniversary of my dad passing. My entire family is going to Calpe in Spain. I wasn't going, but I am now desperately trying to sort out funds and travel arrangements so I can at least be there for that day with my family. I'd struggle leaving my dog for much longer. What you guys did worked. The method you chose was perfect. I don't know if it would work for others, but I'm so lucky you guys decided to make a podcast. I'll forever be a listener and recommend you to everyone I meet. From the bottom of my heart, I'm so unbelievably grateful. You three are a unique blend of laughter, love and kindness that we really do need more of.

15:03All the very best. Yeah, that's an amazing... What a lovely email that is. I know, I know. And then since writing the plan, he's been back in touch to say that he did fly off with the day and it was a lovely occasion and stuff like that. and it really meant a lot to him and stuff like that, which is a beautiful message, isn't it? And I think, as you said then, Pete, this time of year can be so tough, Carla. Oh, yeah. Everyone expects it to be sound more. Yeah, I mean, like I say... I think as you can get so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of Christmas, oh, my God, I've got to get the house ready, I've got to put the tree up, I've got to get all the presents in, I get the food, you know, and you don't think, you know, some people don't have that family unit or friends, you know, I would...

15:41I'd actually like to take my little dog into, like, the old people's home. I used to do that when I was little. And I used to go to the Harlequin Roadshow around Christmas. We used to go in with presents. I was saying, it's done going with dancing for them. Yeah, and we'd do a dance for them all. I used to love it. It's fabulous. It's funny how old people and little kid, little toddlers get along, isn't it? Do you know what I mean? There is something like a connection between them, I think, isn't there? Yeah. Unless you're a biological grandparent. Yeah. You've got zero interest. This is actually no interest.

16:08Not another weekend. We're busy, we're busy. Exactly. No, but that's amazing. but I think, you know, I commend them for his bravery for taking that step to write in, you know, and obviously we try and contact all of our listeners, don't we, Ross? We do, we do, we do. But sometimes it's not always possible, by the way. No, of course. It's not that you're getting ignored. No, and, you know, especially people who are struggling, we will always make an effort to check in and see if they're okay and if there's anything we can do to help or steer them in the right direction. Yeah. It does feel, like, special that we come in and we have a laugh.

16:46We should do a live pod for some of our listeners who've wrote some lovely messages in. Yeah. And get them here and have a little bottle of wine. Yeah, that's a good shout out. But, yeah, it's tough at times, I suppose. What's nice is that we come in here and have a laugh and I think, you know, it can resonate. And that one little story there is kind of worth doing all this, isn't it? To help one person. So, what, like, job satisfaction, if anything like that, do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. to kind of reach out, someone to reach out and say, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Which is why I thought it would be a good episode, Peter, for you kind of to touch on, like, how, if people are feeling a bit down this time of year, like, if you had any kind of, like, tips or tricks and things that have helped you guys in your alone moments or anything like that.

17:27Yeah, well, it's time, it's a time when people who are, you know, thinking about loved ones they've lost. Mm-hmm. You know, loneliness. Yeah. I, I think physical activity is so important, certainly for your mental well-being. I remember when I played football, if I had problems, it'd be like, oh, you know, off the field problems. It was like, oh, how are you going to perform on Saturday? I found that I would perform better. Yeah. Bizarrely. You're quite an anomaly in that sense. I don't disagree. Do you know why? Because the minute I went through those gates at the training ground, I felt safe.

18:03It was like I was in my happy place. And I think if you can find, it doesn't matter what it is. But I think also that physical exertion, you have a shower after you feel better. Kindness and happiness, it's a scientific fact. It does release endorphins in your body that make you happier. Exercise, again, makes you feel happier. You release hormones that just make you feel better. So I think getting out the house, getting fresh air, definitely, like, I'm feeling with my horse. Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. So Pete's other with his... And also maybe, Pete, like, you know, you're saying that you felt like in a bubble, but like also some of the maybe when you're upset and aggression if I'm like feeling like upset or like like if I go to the gym you take that aggression out on the kind of You obviously haven't been feeling aggressive lately then Then you forget it But you know what I mean like it does help you with that as well I think Such calm at the moment Rob Fuck I'm not hanging around with you two Gobshouts Okay so this feels like a pretty good place to take a quick break and hear from our sponsors and remember if you're enjoying this top class crouchy clance Tudor Bob Ross content don't forget to share it with your friends and family

19:19but you know what listen listen it says here right I've got some stats for you the UK population was asked if they believed that regular physical activity is important for mental health and well-being 82 % of UK adults agreed in the UK 36 % of adults do not meet the physical activity recommendations set out by the World Health Organisation. Who? The WHO. Hey, very good, Abbie, very good. Oh, well done. You need that. But that is, not everyone can get out there, people lead busy lives as well, but I do think that if you can, do something just to keep active. You can walk to that chippy. Yeah, yeah.

20:03Yeah, yeah. You can jog there. Do you know what I mean? Run to the fridge. It definitely does. It does help. If you can't just go to the gym, you can do activities with the kids in the garden, walk rather than take the car. Yeah. Look at our Sean. Like my brother, he's like a fitness fanatic. Yeah. And he does all the high rocks. He's just been working with Spencer Matthews and Spencer's doing those marathons. Yeah. And our Sean joined him and he was supposed to do 12km, but he did 48km with him. Really? Yeah. Fuck that. But our Sean's a machine, isn't he? He's a tank, to be fair. Like, he's, you know, his body's a temple and he's massively into the wellness thing and I think as you get older as well, it's something that you should be doing.

20:52You do think about it a bit more, I assume. Mm. Yeah. I think, like, talking things out is the most important thing as well. I think the women are so much better at it than the men, aren't they? We talked about this before. When, certainly with men in general, I did a thing with Prince William. The England manager was Gareth Southgate. It's a flat. We did a kind of team talk in the dressing room. Just because the stigma around, I think, certainly with men, is that you've got to man up. Can't show weakness. Yeah. I think that's such an old school, outdated way of looking at things. I think we are getting better at it, but I still think that there is an element, even for me personally, of me keeping things in.

21:33Which shouldn't be the case. Yeah. Especially when you're in a male dominator, like, change room or something like that. You've said in the past, you were quite lucky living with, I suppose, a nookie scouse. You've got, like, prized, like, that's obviously a bit of a joke, but, like, prized and them eating that out of you. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I know if something's up with Pete, because he'll do this. I'm pacing down the room. I've seen him do that. Is that loud? And I know something's going on. And he'll walk up and down, and I try and get it. You're very good at getting it out.

22:02But I'm a very good sounding, You're very nosy as well, to be fair. But the minute I tell her my problems, I don't tell her because I keep them in. But the minute I do, the minute I feel better. Yeah. And she's very good at helping me. A lot of my friends say that. Yeah, because it's easy because you're on the outside of it. I think you overthink things in your own head. Whereas you can look at someone else and go, no, I know exactly what you need. It's that. Yeah. Whereas in your own head, you go, maybe it's that. you know like kaz is my sounding board like she helps me on a daily basis and i help her and i i don't feel like i've done any good and she doesn't feel it and then like she said text me the other day was like just thanks so much for like always listening to me and helping me and sometimes that's even the best thing to listen like sometimes i'm i'll ring my mom and like my mom is like you i'll be like she'll want to bust in every couple of minutes and then sometimes i just go mom can you just be quiet while i just tell you how much of a nightmare on abby is and and she'll go yellow light sounds and I'll go like that.

23:03And you don't need someone always to give you the advice, but you need to be felt like listened to and you can't always say it to your partner. That's a good point. There's so many amazing like community things as well regarding fitness as well. I know my sister, my sister and Ari have got a product out called Hair Gym. Yeah. And it's like a condition and treatment which nourishes your hair while you're at the gym. Now you can put it on it, like it's heat activated, blah, blah, blah. But they're doing these community fitness things. And you know, if you are, there's so many people who turn up on their own because they want to feel part of these communities.

23:41And I think that's such a great idea. You know, they all have the same, you know, goal. They want to get fit. They want to look good. They want to feel good. They want to meet people. Do you know another thing that I thought was good, that piece I, you might have seen this, that I've heard that was about those two fellas who were going to match together for like a year or something like that. and the fella who was all jovial and nudging his mate and going like that. And then you had the mate to be a little miserable and you thought that he was the depressed one and then it turned out it was the actual jovial mate.

24:08And then you did the thing for the cabs, did you? You remember? Yeah. To talk more. Yeah. Basically, they trained the cab drivers to basically speak. Yeah. They trained them in like, almost like a therapist. Yeah. Because people sometimes just want to get in and speak to someone that is impartial. 100%. So like the cab drivers... It's like your hairdresser, the hairdresser. There's certain people that... When you go to the match, you don't even know the name of the guy that's sat next to you sometimes. You go to the match for years, same season, oh, Michael, he knows the fellas by name-ish, but that's it, do you know what I mean?

24:43Don't know anything about their life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Mike from the match. Yeah, but you know, sometimes you feel like, because they're not going to judge you, I'm not going to sit in a match. You might be able to speak to them or speak to the cab drivers. That whole scenario was... It was interesting, really. You know what? The other thing I found out, right, in a taxi. But you know if you get in a black cab, right, if you sit behind the taxi driver. That's bad etiquette. No, that's to the driver. That's like you don't want to speak. Is it? Because you can't see him in the mirror. Do I?

25:11Whereas if you sit this side of the taxi driver. Oh, in the passenger seat. I'm talking about a black cab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the passenger seat, and you can see the driver, then they engage. Yeah, I always sit there. Oh, OK, OK, OK. Do you know what I mean? So if you're next time you get in a black cab, just think about where you've sat. and you might not even know why you've done it. But they say, like, psychology would say that if you sit behind the driver, you can't see their eyes, you don't want to talk. Okay, okay. Whereas if you sit there, you can see... Next time I get in the car, what, Lee?

25:37I'm going to see.

25:41Next time me and Abda on a road trip, she's going to sit directly behind me. Yeah, she'll be showing you on me.

25:50I love a gab to a black cab driver. And it's, again, it's that thought of, like, It's almost like a therapist in a way. It's inconsequential conversations. I've had conversations with cab drivers that have said things that you would never see your friends. But also, I do think that's a problem. I think the black cab driver in London, it's synonymous with London. I think with the knowledge and everything. If you're not from London, you get in a black cab. I think that's why we should celebrate black cab drivers. Yeah, absolutely. I really do. Because we get in them and we go, you might be able to say...

26:21Because I remember doing it in New York and I said to the driver who took me from the airport, what's that? What's that? What's that? And it's the fact that they have done the knowledge. They've got a prad of the sea. They can tell you what that is. Someone came from America and got on my car and went round Liverpool and they were going what year was that building? I'd be like I don't even know what it is. I've got no idea but we used to smoke behind it. What did you deserve? I've got no idea but we used to smoke behind it. Yeah. Yeah. Probably could. I know we've got two cathedrals. St George's Hall that was built back to front I just think that is it's a great thing isn't it to have you go past the Tower of London or Buckingham Palace I know people know what they are but you know little things like what's that park that is the knowledge of a black cab driver I've had that a few times though from a black cabbie driving past Buckingham Palace saying a scouser broke in and was sitting on the Queen's bed yeah I've had that have you had that have you had that as well that's standard It's one of my dad's favourite stories.

27:27He didn't know him. He didn't know him. He just sat there. He didn't know him. He didn't do anything like you. He just sat there. He was all right, the fella. He wouldn't have done anything. I mean, who else can break into Buckingham Palace? Do you know what I mean? That's a skill, that. That's a skill, that mate. What about this little putt? Are we getting on with the new putt, by the way? Are we having a jester? Pete loves them. obsessed he rules the roost that's all he's just he's just totally fine he's not been in issue at all i think i would recommend if you are you know someone who is under massive pressure to get an animal you get one of these because they all everyone in the family seems to be really happy and he's not a problem to me there was an amazing little pony at the the school christmas fair and they do um riding for the disabled children because you know that obviously so much research is it's just fantastic for kids to be around.

28:26Yeah. Horses. It's just fabulous. I've seen it as well, end-of-life care hospices. They bring, obviously, I've seen that when they bring, like, people's horses kind of into the grounds and they'll wield them out and stuff like that. And it's just like, oh, it's something majestic, especially about horses and dogs, I think, personally. No, I agree. I would definitely agree with that. Yeah. How are you with your kind of health anxiety? Because that is a thing you have. well it is definitely better i know it sounds woo but the hypnotherapy definitely worked tim is incredible and you know if you have those kind of thoughts that hypnotherapy rewires your brain into kind of a trigger to just stop it straight away and just say no i'm not letting it in but you know i am definitely you definitely improve definitely like i it just it's so frustrating for for me as as your husband do you know i mean to like to see you in that much pain you know like in general yeah no it's painful anyway but with the hell things like on top um no it does feel like because i'm like this is so silly you why you're worrying 99 of the stuff you worry about never materializes but then i suppose i could say the same thing you know the way that you said you walk around itching your nose thinking about how you've got everything's silly maybe not silly but everyone's always exaggerated to yourself isn't it so it's just frustrating i've seen her in in mental turmoil yeah about things that i know that you know but then she might say the same thing to you might be mental turmoil about having a conversation with um a player or something like that and then she'll go totally agree yeah because the minute i talk to her about it is the minute i i don't have that problem anymore i know whereas i've been worried about for weeks yeah on my own yeah so that you know it's just frustrating because i I just want you...

30:14I don't want you to have burden. To be honest, I know, but I think as well, as long as you're a mum and a wife and alive, it's not completely going to go. No, I think... If you're always... No, I don't think it's true. I think you'd be a bad parent or something if you didn't kind of worry about your kids. Mine is debilitating, but I am... It's an ongoing process, and I'm lucky to have support, like through the likes of Tim, my best friends, Dawn, my homeopath. The podcast. The podcast. No, it's true. I'm joking. And my amazing GP, Nikki, like she is just phenomenal and she never makes me feel like I'm a psychopath.

31:00You know, when I'm there every day. Okay, let me in. You know, she's mega. On those kind of topics, GPs and stuff like that. Laughter is the best medicine, I would say, Pedro. What do you think about that? Without doubt, like, I laugh so much. Yeah, you do. On a daily basis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do, so do I. So do I. That's why we work. Yeah, yeah, because I just, my whole life is revolved around it. I spend money on things that are going to make me laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do all my clothes make you laugh? so I can buy things. Yeah. Damn ring, shut up your ass. Kiss to Mickey Flanagan, I'll take ten.

31:45Oh, life is like revolved around creating an atmosphere where I'm going to laugh. But I do that, like, if I am feeling a little bit down, I do go on the memes on Instagram and laugh, no, they're like funny videos. Yeah, yeah. Hysterical. I can't stop laughing at them. Funny as hell. I know. And it makes you feel so much better, little ten minutes laughing. A nostalgia thing as well. I always got Christmas time, especially coming off and only feels nauseous for me. It was like an institution in our household. Like, I'm a big fan. Boss class. Just going home and like, you know all the, I know where it's where by now, but like, you know, sitting there with your mum and you know, your family and watching that, it's just, even when I'm feeling down, it just brings you home a bit.

32:27I like the royal family at Christmas. The royal family's great as well. Your dad's a bit like Jim Rowe. I like also some of the stand-up comedians around Christmas, like they quite often bring out new ones. It's not Christmas without watching a little Lee Evans or Ricky or Gervais. Like Ricky Gervais or someone, yeah. Some crackers out there. I saw a couple of good ones recently, actually. Who's the other one I love? From Bolton. Pizze Gay. Pizze Gay, Pizze Gay. Yeah. I think just, you've got to watch one of them. I think you should. I'm sure there's a new Ricky Gervais one coming out around Christmas.

33:00Is there? Yeah. I like watching the old 60s ones as well. I don't know, you know, on the buses and stuff like that. Like, your dad loves that, doesn't he? and, you know, 60s comedies, what do you call it? Carry On and stuff like that. Carry On films, I love. Porridge was good as well. Porridge, yeah, yeah. Fletch. Do you like bread? Remember bread? I am, yeah. Even boys from the black stuff, it wasn't as funny, but it's kind of like, it's just a familiarity, I suppose. I don't know that. Gets a job, yours are huge. It's good, very good. Do you know what else helps with mental health as well is obviously like drinking less.

33:34I was going to say drinking. Drinking less. I think that helps at the time. You think it helps, but then the next day definitely makes it ten times worse. Sleep. It's like that thing where it says, so what makes you happier? It's obviously not in his family. And the guy goes, spend less time with the kids. And he's like, sorry? He went, yeah. Spend less time with the kids. No, South African guy. And he was like, sorry, spend less time with your kids. That makes you happier? And he went, no, not the kids. Dickens. Dickens. Spend less time with dickens. Oh, my God. That's like my mutually divide.

34:13As Lucinda said, so why don't you meet a new buyer? And I thought, she said... Mutually divide. Why don't you just mutually divide, though? No, but I think you're spot on there. Sleep. Yeah. Less alcohol. Definitely. Getting up early looking good. We can't get up at the moment, though. I'm struggling to get up. I just cannot get up. It's a dark morning. 100 % it's a dark morning. And every night we've set our alarm and our phones have died in the night. Like, we got up at ten past seven today and we need to be out by half past. It feels like even our phones have given up. Fuck, they're still not getting up.

34:43It's pitch black out there. It's so bizarre, isn't it? Just going to sleep mode. Even your phone's been jet lag. I just cannot get up, and I hate that feeling. I know. I want to jump out of bed. We'll do it as well. And you do it in the summer. I think everyone, that's a general theme. That's another thing. Don't beat yourself up. or comparison to kind of everyone else or others because, like you said, wintertime, everyone is my feeling a little bit tired. Do you know this 6am Wagon Club on Instagram doesn't help? Exactly, Peter, exactly. They don't help, do they? All these people going, oh, I'm eating a banana at five o 'clock and just throwing around 100 kgs.

35:20Piss off. Not everyone's like that, do you know what I mean? We'll get to the gym when we can. Yeah. No, it's great, though. Like, my stepdad's, like, in the Romanies, and he was like, you never compared yourself to anyone else in your squad. It was like, you made yourself, So if I can make 10 seconds off my next kind of run or mile or whatever, you wouldn't recognise more for that than beating the other people in your squad. So always measure yourself against yourself. Everyone's got different goals. Everyone's got, you know, like... No, but what he's trying to say is that only competition is within yourself.

35:49Exactly that, exactly. Everyone's different. Everyone thrives differently. But if you can bet... If each day you can better yourself... By 1 % or 2 % or 10%, whatever. That is a win. Yeah. Do sound a bit like a 5am one canada. Okay, let's get to the agonome. Let's get to the funny stuff. Yeah, cool, man. Let me just say this, right? There are also organisations that can help you. You've got mind.org.uk, that's mind. You've got the Calm, which is campaigning that's living miserably. You can get that with calmzone.net. NHS, of course, the Samaritans, BetterHelp, which are big supporters of this pod as well.

36:28We can put the links in the description. Yeah, well done. And yeah, just remember you're not alone, I think, at this time. Yeah, absolutely. There are people that can help. And hopefully this can help by cheering you up a little bit. You can watch Abby just caning me. Have a laugh at our relationship. And also feel free to... And know that you're not alone. There's nothing funny about our relationship. Thank you very much. Apart from your feet. No, you feel like a nice thing. Your feet, my tash. Yeah. I'll cheer you up. Yeah. All right. Well, listen, get in touch because we love hearing from you and we'll get into some egg in the app, shall we?

37:07Yeah, let's go. Hey, Abby and Pete. I'm writing in for some advice and I think Abby may be able to help me with this one. I met my partner over a year ago, but this is our first Christmas as a couple. He's a very successful man and has quite literally the ability to get himself anything. On the other hand, I'm not. I'm at the very early stages of my career, so it's difficult for me to splash out. I really want to make this Christmas great for him but how do I do it without breaking my bank for someone who already has everything Abby I know you were in a similar boat when you first met Pete what did you do for your first Christmas together I love you both and thank you for all the laughs Anonymous good question good question this is so simple to answer so simple you can't get your kiss off yeah you can't splash out but you can put out I got you a bell ringing for sex in my list lovely fantastic plastic never got used cobwebs on it no i the middle taken out of it you are a bell you are you are a bell if you want to you are a bell literally so i actually made pete a book of um all like newspaper cut-ins from all as goals from every club he'd been at.

38:26I've still got that. It was a pretty short read. It was nice kind of thoughtful presence. Yeah, I think you've got to go sentimental. My 40th, she got a message from everyone that I've played with all over the years from being a kid to right up to 40, who I met kind of along the journey and along the way. A video, which was incredible. Yeah. So good, wasn't it? I didn't outsource a lot of that work to me, actually. You're welcome. That is good, Dad. Ed Sheeran wrote you a song. Did write me a song, yeah. That was good. And I think girls tend to have more creative or sentimental, was it a word you used?

39:02Ideas, boys maybe, stuff like that. Like best ideas, really. I think there's definitely things you could do, isn't there, as well. Yeah, she could just go to Agent Vocaterra and get something. I'll be honest with you, that would do me. Get the kit on me. That would be beautiful. How many times have you looked up at that book since you came? Fantastic. No, I think go sentimental or go sexy. Go sexy or sentimental. Sexy mental? Or both. Sexy mental. Or both. Yeah. Okay. It is hard, though, because I never know what to get you. It is that thing of what you get someone who's... Why don't you listen to your own advice?

39:33What to get the money's got it all? What do you mean? Listen to your own advice. Go sexy or sentimental. I'm not asked about sentimental, by the way. Or the mental. Just sexy. Hi, folks. Hi, folks. Hi, folks. Big fan of the show. With the recent Miles Kanep, the Ed Sheeran and Amy story, I thought you'd be interested to hear this. What was that? Amy. I was Ed Sheeran and you were Amy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I heard Harry Styles then. Miles Kane. Oh. I managed to bag two tickets for a Miles Kane show in Zanzibar in Liverpool. Oh, love it there. In about 2013. We went to Miles Kane. Were we there? We definitely were there.

40:13We went to every one of Miles' gigs then. Carry on reading, bud. 2013. Yeah, Miles Kane. Okay. I took my mate. We went for a few pre-gig sherbets. Before you knew it, the stage time was looming. We were outside the venue having a last gasp of fresh air, debating whether we needed to go in and get cash out for the bar and risk missing the start of the show. We were approached outside by a lady asking to borrow a light, to which we duly obliged. I asked the lady if she knew if we could pay by card inside because we didn't have cash and the gig was due to start. The lady said she didn't know but proceeded to produce what we found out to be drink tokens and said, lads, have these because me and Pete aren't drinking.

40:57Have a great night. Well, number one, quickly there, that we were definitely drinking. Anyway, I initially had two thoughts. We're going to have a top night, number one. And number two, who on earth is this Pete fella? And how unlucky can he be if his other half is giving away his beer tokens? Anyway, we get inside, we go to the bar. Google me. we go to the bar and tell everyone our drinks are on some bird we met outside in a fellical peak i'm sorry why is there no like this hasn't been any good description i was and out of nowhere an angel from above came to us with the savior of drinks tokens All right, lads, you got a lighter there.

41:44All right, Pete's favourite tokens there if you want them. All right, before the show starts, we realised that Peter Crouch is here, which is pretty cool. It's not every day you get to say hello to an England footballer. Soon after, we put two and two together like Miss Marple and realised that the generous stranger outside and the mysterious Pete are none other than Abby and Peter. We then managed to make our apologies and loop back and say thank you. I suppose my Agniab is how can I ever repay the favour? Thank you both. Give me my money back, bitch. No, but you know what? This actually leads me on to a weekly wine, another weekly wine.

42:26Okay. Another Agniab. It's, where were we the other day and we were let in, we were in a queue with someone or going somewhere and the woman was so, oh, on the bloody train. So basically, when we went to Lake Windermere last week Lucinda had bought tickets for the wrong day but she paid a fortune for these tickets I know how much so yeah it was hundreds and hundreds of pounds so Lucinda and I were like ooh the train wasn't full we booked it for next Saturday and said to this Saturday and she was like no absolutely not you've got to buy the tickets now jobs worth horrible that Pete was, you were getting something.

43:10You were getting like waters or something from the shop and when we come back, Pete got on the train and then she bloody changed her tune as soon as she said it. I was just going to say to Pete, did you feel like football? And then she was like, oh, I'm so, oh, if I'd known it was you, I wouldn't let you in. And I was like, listen, I was like, that is outrageous. Did you say this to me? Well done, you gave. I loved that. I was like, I said, she said, oh, because there was no seats then. So she was like, do you want me to go to the first class and bring you some wines in. Was a cheeky guess. I said, absolutely not.

43:42I said, we'll pay for our own wines. Like you've just made us pay extra for our ticship. Oh, but I didn't know it was you. I said, do you know what, love? I said, you should try and be nice to everybody and treat people equally. Not just because it's Peter Crouch. How much nicer would it be if you were this nice person? I don't want anything free from you. Like, because you should always be nice to anyone, whether it's royalty or... Yeah, Jeff. Joe Bloggs, yeah. On the street. Treat everybody nice and shove your wine up your ass. He said, give me the bottle. Yeah, Pete, go get them bottles off.

44:17I wish Pete was me, though, that would be 800 pounds. Thanks, babe. I just couldn't believe it. Like, she was like, goo goo gaga with the smiles. I was like, don't you be giving her... She said, it's just a day in the life of Peter Grant.

44:36I was like no but she should have seen how badly she treated Lucinda and I it's like no you've got to spend another 600 quid and get to the back of the queue and see you later that is outrageous though and like I love the fact that like people they got at me and it's a funny story and blah but I just I'm so proud of you for kind of pulling her up on that that's what's happened to Dick Muggins over here plenty you'd think I haven't booked the show on the wrong day or whatever blah blah blah and do you know what and when we got up to Lake Quindamere Lucinda did the same thing and booked the hotel for the week later and the guys were like, God, guys, don't worry about it.

45:08No problem. We've got room. It's fine. You know, they were so lovely and I just hated that. I just, it's people who were a nice tooth for the wrong reasons, I think, you know, a reminder to be kinder. I dedicate this pod to that cow on the train. Yeah. But, so, just looping back to the original, is there any way this gentleman could ever pay you back for the beer? If you'd ever see them out again, maybe drop them a bevy. I think if you ever see us out again, you know, We're actually going to Miles Cavie. He's playing again in January. A little plug for him. The Roundhouse, is it? He's playing at the Roundhouse.

45:42I think he's playing various different places, but definitely in the UK. If you see us at one of those gigs, just buy us a beverage. Just go, yeah. There we go. I'm glad that we enabled them to have a great night. Me too. I need help because I think I'm being pushed out of my friendship group, my own friendship group, by Group Chat Politics. We've had the same WhatsApp chat for years. Planning nights out, weekends away, general nonsense. Recently, though, the vibe has changed. Two of the girls now have a side chat. I know this because they've accidentally referenced things that weren't said in ours.

46:15And they've slowly stopped replying to anything I've put in. Like I sent a message last week saying, shall we do something for Sophie's birthday? Nothing. Then one of them put the exact same message in the next day and suddenly it's 47 replies and three GIFs. How many mates have they got? I'm being quite... Gifts by like one blind reply. our club you'll ask our club one text question and you get 15 replies okay one reply yeah I'm thinking this like 10 10 10 I never do that don't you no I'm an all all in one message all or nothing I'm being quiet quitted from a group chat and it actually hurts more than a breakup do I say something do I leave the group or just accept my demotion oh it happens that doesn't it it 100 % happens girls are a pain in the ass I also think as well the whatsapp politics of like you know someone leaving the group is the aggressive move isn't it you got someone if you mute something you know you might put something in the wrong there's a lot of politics isn't there with a whatsapp group who's the admin who can add people yeah yeah yeah someone screenshotted a message from an existing group and posted it in the same group instead of the side group the other day oh no it was not guilty it's like it's almost like cheating isn't it it's like it's like a side group is a is a is a side piece yeah yeah it's kind of like it is it's bad isn't it yeah but you can't address it because don't be a whatsapp cheat you see if you'd address it as well then you're like you're not replying to my whatsapps it's like oh my god are you messing do you know what I think I think just speech is the best policy now I think you should just say guys is there anything going on have I done anything yeah that does hurt if you find out there's a side group so it does imagine it's everyone imagine it's the exact same group on it apart from you as you should know you're the positive you're not on the family group because we come as one I found that I found that out what family group these are the family group I found out about this the other day Who's the family group?

48:23About me on it. The kids? No, there's not. Not our family. To be fair, it is our family. No, it's just me mum, Sean, John and Al. Yeah, to be fair. That's kind of fair enough. I'm fine. Yeah. I didn't make it though, clearly, because I'd put you on. You'd be number one. Okay, so any words of advice to this lady? I would say, if you confront it, you seem a little bit petty. I think it's something you've just got to swallow a little bit. Yeah, I do. It's a tough one to take that though. It's not nice. What would you do? You found out. what would I do? You left a group, didn't you? Yeah. I regretted it instantly.

48:55Which one? He got drunk and left as golf group. I remember someone was putting something in about I think Arsenal beat Spurs and I was like, I'm not having this. I was like, I'm just going to leave. It's a golf group, this. I left and then went, oh, I regret that massively. But then the whole group were going, oh God, what's happened to Crouchy if we offended him? And then they were all sending our group. I think, and didn't someone like there was all other people panicking because it thought because you can delete people off groups as well yeah yeah so a couple of the other men thought they'd removed him because it came up on their chat that they'd removed pete do you remember and then they were panicking going i didn't remove crouchy but this has come up on me bearing in mind this is the same group that abby put a picture of her in a bikini on where's Pete going where's all the good content going 200 golfers we can't lose Pete we can't lose it we can't lose it alright well you know that's that I've enjoyed that today I think we got some good points across you know hopefully we I don't feel like we helped anyone no there was loads I think there's enough I think there's enough to just voice that you know there are people struggling out there and you know it's hopefully we can help a little bit but there are organisations that can definitely help organisations techniques exercise talking to people watching things that make you feel happy getting outdoors, things like that and it's good to talk it is good to talk absolutely, thanks for listening gang thanks for listening gang you've cheered us up