Abbey Calls Out Peter’s Non-Stop Holiday Behaviour In Portugal!

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2:16Abbey Clancy: No problems with bitching, huh? You wouldn't have girls shouting like, Versace. Do you know what I mean? You wouldn't have like... You wouldn't have like fashion off. Versace. You wouldn't have makeup off. Because women aren't fucking imbeciles, huh? Charlotte, know you're here.

2:34Obligado.

2:35Abbey Clancy: Hello, and welcome to the Therapy Crouch with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch. And me, Gaz. How are we, guys? We're good, we're good, we're good. I love you too. I just got a t-shirt on here. You're basking in the sun. And Ab's just looked at my guns and said, you need to get to the gym. No, I did not. I said, that ship's fucking sailed. I actually did not say that. What's that show we're watching now? Yeah, but the guy is like a unit. You need muscles like Anthony, my horse riding coach. If he can get them horse riding, you can get... Babe, look how many times you swing that golf club. You should have guns like bloody...

3:10Listen, I think all people are built differently. I know, I can't talk.

3:14Abbey Clancy: He's like, get rid of that rubber ring. Oh, behave. You're perfect. That's the difference. I genuinely believe that. You're picking fault to me all the time. Unfortunately, you got with me with linguine arms and I've developed and I've still got linguine arms. You haven't? I quite like that little muscle there. I'm trying. I'm not a muscle burger kind of girl. Well, thank God for that. Put your shades on, honey. There's pros and cons to me. Put your shades on instead of squinting the sun. Do you want your shades on? Go on. Let's have a look. Do what I'm told. Nice. Men in black. Looking cool. I might not have arms, but I've got a great face.

3:56Abbey Clancy: You have got a great face. You've got great face. You've got great hair. Great personality. You've got great everything. Thanks, babe. And now that swollen knee, you've got a thigh. Yeah, yeah. I've done my knee in, haven't I? I played in that Liverpool Legends match of a... Torn as ACL and as meniscus. You're joking. But only part... It's only... It's not like... It's a grade two. Sorry. It's not a big one. It's a career render. Let me just say this. My career is only at the beginning. He didn't do this at the Liverpool Legends match, by the way. I wasn't going to mention that, really. He did it at our friend Ollie's 50th, where he was showing off in front of 12 16-year-old boys playing football.

4:38Abbey Clancy: He scored the best goal he's ever scored in his life. Top three. Oh, really? and it's we've got picture evidence by the way we can post this picture it's got picture evidence post this picture okay 100 % because this picture is got form it's I'll explain it to you right that I think probably my two favourite goals that I've scored was Stoke versus Manchester City Galatasaray Galatasaray scissor kick maybe the third at Arsenal plays a part in that as well but this I think would maybe come in third of all time and it was on my mate's football pitch in his garden. And it's funny that he's had a 25-year career, never been injured, touch wood over, other than a broken nose and his teeth knocked out, blah, blah, blah.

5:24Abbey Clancy: But he's torn his ACL and his hibiscus? Meniscus. Meniscus, is that a fart? Meniscus, sorry. That's all right. I can still function. Well, hang on, let's put the picture up now on screen for the visual listeners. Can you talk us through the goal? Well, this strike here, right, I mean, it's quite a large pitch, but it was, it's a five-a-side pitch, but a large five-a-side pitch. But the ball bounced, just sat up nice, actually. And it wasn't, it was. No, the problem is, the problem is. It was going to rain on my parade. Peter cannot lose, like ever. Like, even when he's training our daughter, because she wants to be a pro tennis player.

6:03Abbey Clancy: Yeah. Pete's like, you can't beat me. She beat him the other day, by the way. Fair play. Go, girl. Pete was going to be a tennis player before he chose football Pete's unbelievable at tennis I reckon Pete could actually play against Sinek and hold his own I would vouch for that that's a big shout for someone who loves you no no no you could I could rally with them you aced Sophia's coach who was like an amazing pro I think my serve's okay are you joking Sophia's got a serve from her dad like no one's getting this serve back aces all round aces everywhere left right and centre anyway the ball but anyway anyway anyway Peter cannot lose and even like 16 year old boys who are having a nice jovial game Pete wants to destroy them it's just in his nature this unbearable feeling of I have to win he has to win at everything he does yeah so now he is he's got a torn ACL yeah so I tried to I tried to not tell you that it's not stopping him playing paddle it's not stopping him playing golf he's just got like a freaking knee strap on and I'm getting through it he's going through it it's not ideal because he's a nerd the football's taking a back seat at the moment but the golf and paddle I can get through a bit of tennis with Sophia and stuff.

7:38I can get through that. Yeah. But let me tell you about this goal, right? It's sat up. And obviously, I've just thought, I'm going to have a hit. I'm just going to hit this. You know, one of those just wild avid strike. See how it goes. And I'm not joking. This thing has just bent. Thing? It's bent in the top. You can ask the lads. They'll vouch for me. We'll get the... It's on camera.

7:57Abbey Clancy: It's on camera, darling. But there's... They had a professional photographer. I'm not disputing it. You were phenomenal. So he was there. And he took this picture in black and white of the actual strike. Like, bear in mind, I've got a suit on and loafers. Yeah. A suit on? A suit on. It was Wolf of Wall Street themed. So Pete was... This party, yes, I remember you guys talked about this last night. Pete was Leonardo DiCaprio. And I was Margot No Robbie. You looked incredible. No. But anyway, I've scored a belt up. So what I'm saying is like, yeah, what, torn knee? You know, whatever. I can get over that.

8:29I'm not going to have the memories. You know what I mean? The memory of that finish, that'll go down in... for me I mean even the lads they would for what a goal I was like oh my god you can't buy that you know an old past it man who's had too much to drink and you do that that will live with me that will live with me for the rest of my days Dave you're not past it you're never past it you're still got it you're still got it well I just was very proud of myself I put everything into that match hence the the knee problem I didn't get it scanned until after the Liverpool Legends match because I wanted to play in that

9:00Abbey Clancy: and now I've got a new best friend who's that Jürgen Klopp oh yes that man what a guy should we talk about that briefly that night I just love him it's phenomenal I absolutely love I actually think him and Pete look like brothers they got on like brothers didn't they they got on like brothers and Jürgen was like me and Pete have got the same calves and I didn't know what he meant I didn't know what he meant by that he kept saying it I love your calf thanks babe you can have a calf bigger than that he'd be abnormal you can no A big calf is not for me. I don't like that. That goes into like rugby territory and I can't bear it.

9:39Abbey Clancy: I can't bear a big calf. It knocks me sick. No, it does. I don't like it. I like long and lean and... Just like you and Klopp. Yeah. I was quite taken by you. He's got charisma, isn't he? I've got a little crush on old Kloppy. He's the best. He's the best and he's just... What a great character as well. Oh my God. Basically, we had a night, didn't we? And ended up wearing a good few beers with him in the end. Yeah, all joking aside, he's just a great human. He was stupendous, yeah. And it's just how loved he is in my city. Yeah. You know, he's literally God. My dad got to meet him because my dad was like, I was like, Dad, Klopp is going to be at this party.

10:22And my dad was like, there's no way I'm going to meet Klopp.

10:25Abbey Clancy: He's like, you know, he doesn't, you know, no one ever sees him. And I'm like, no, you'll meet him. and he spent so much time talking to my family and my dad and he was just absolutely mega, wasn't he? I don't think there's anyone that you could have said in that party that you would have rather met on this planet, dead or alive. No. Have you said Elvis is over there? John Lennon. John Lennon there. John Lennon. Elvis there. I think he would gravitate towards Jürgen Klopp. He's got what you've got. He's got something special. like when he walks into a room like everyone is just like and you do have that quality you genuinely genuinely do and so to say like he's and you know i watch and he's he's a mega star as are you and he stopped for every single you were there guys you saw it yeah it was fantastic every single person whether they were famous whether they were fans whether they worked in the venue he literally gave everyone the same amount of effort and time and i just think you know that's why jeggen klopfer's the king of our city he's the king you know what he does you know he listens to this by the way he even said his wife listened to it i love his wife as well she's such a babe and you'll hear that i'm getting emotional well you know you'll hear that i'm sure i'll appreciate it so that was a nice thing because it's it's for me it's nice going back and especially like speaking to the LFC Foundation and what they do for the city.

11:58Abbey Clancy: Like Liverpool is number three highest in child poverty. You know, it was. Really? They've improved that. Have they? So it's like number seven. And it's something that, you know, growing up in the city, even in the less fortunate areas, the kids would always be well turned out. They'd have all the gear on, all the clothes. and you know as a local and someone who's born and bred there you would never see that so to hear these statistics because Pete came home he spoke to the founder of the of the um charity I actually didn't speak to him and Pete told me all of these stats and I was horrified and gobsmacked and I spoke to Sally who is um she runs a production company um who I did my home show with and I was like Sal I want to do a show on this nice about child poverty and raising awareness and what we can do and what the LFC foundation has done to help families in need and you know as of like delve deeper into it like the sense of community in Liverpool like people who don't even have anything from for themselves are given back to the city and to these kids who are like when they go to school, that's the only meal they get, which for me, you know, just makes me feel ill, you know, and going there.

13:20And it's,

13:22Abbey Clancy: it's an incredible place. It's, it's got a, an electrifying, magnetic feeling, hasn't it? When you go to Liverpool, especially when you go to Anfield. Don't you think? It's got an energy. I feel like I've been adopted a little bit, you know, by the, by the people there, you know? Yeah. I think once you're in, you're in. You're in. And, you know, you can quickly be out. But, you know, once you're kind of in, it is a special place to be because you feel like you've got kind of everyone on your team. Yeah. They look after you there. And I think it's, you know, especially when I've moved to like a big city like London, I don't know London that well.

14:03Abbey Clancy: And I obviously, there will be like strong senses of communities everywhere, obviously. but Liverpool as a city has that sense of community and I just think that's amazing it's laughing today because out in Portugal I've met two friends one of them's from London and one's from Liverpool when my son Jackie went to the school and I was like have you met any mates? Have you got any mates? he said yeah but he's a mank mum is that okay? I was like yeah that's okay babe he's like but he's a man because I're all right I'll allow it I was like yeah that's fine that's what Jack said today that's man this guy what he's a man because I okay oh my god incredible but yeah it was that the Liverpool legends match was amazing for the kids and our family all to be there and see Pete play yeah and you know all the old players like Rainer, Yossi, kite it's just fab and it's like going back in time to when we were all kids and we were all there you know we used to go every week it was just phenomenal well it's that felt the same way when I was on the bus you know I'm looking around I'm thinking about the memories that I've had with all these people on the same bus and you know the crowd was 60 ,000 right so we entered the stadium on the bus and you look down and you're like all the fans there do you feel like you're playing a Champions League game again I feel like a kid in a sweet shop again you know it's like I'm reliving that dream that I have it's like this is amazing it's the best it's stunning can I clarify something with you because there's a point we were all watching you waiting to come on and I don't know it took a while for the ball to go out of play if you could actually come on yeah it took a while I don't know how you were feeling down there but you bent down to hug I think it was whoever is it the fourth official or something did you do that on purpose because it looked like a very comical like pen over and hug it was a tiny fourth official it was the linesman wasn't it was it line up and he was tiny and he said to Carr this is embarrassing and I'll be like that's when I give him a hug that was great everyone's cracking up in the stadium have you got any weekly wines?

16:07Abbey Clancy: so I've got a weekly wine so my weekly wine is now we're here in Portugal for a few weeks that is not a licence for you to play golf every day invite all the golfers back to our house to play paddle then go and play five-a-side football and then after football bring them all back here for beers to watch football you know it's a fucking piss take when you put it like that it does sound yeah it's awful but like that is one of my favourite pastimes you know what out of the four events watching football playing football playing paddle playing tennis playing golf I'm gonna say sport as being one of my favourite pastimes bearing in mind we've just had the Masters right the Champions League's on these are quarter finals of the Champions League two legged affair if I hear Jamil Jamal one more time I'm going to fucking go man where's them Jamil Jamal boots oh Lamin Jamal Lamin Jamal I can't stand it he's Jack's favourite player at the moment everyone's at the moment yeah I've never heard of him I don't know what he looks like he's a fantastic player but I don't know I'm very very passionate about these things, you know?

17:29And I think you should encourage my passion. And I think that's my weekly wind back is, you know, I think if I'm so passionate about these sporting activities, I think you should get behind me.

17:40Abbey Clancy: But it's, I can't. So look how passionate he is. I can't get behind you because not one of them includes me. Oh, they do. I'd love you to come play paddle with me. I would be behind you every, you won't play paddle with me? I will. Because I'm rubbish. You're not rubbish at all. I am. You're just at the start of your journey. How condescending is that? This is what I'm saying about Peter. Like, this is what I'm saying about him. He's elite at everything. He could teach me, but he doesn't want to teach me. He wants to beat me. So it's just ridiculous. No, no, that's not true. I'd like to help you.

18:15Abbey Clancy: I am a good sports person. We bond. We don't bond over anything, actually. I'm actually wondering why we're even together. with my friends over. You know, it's quite, I could meet someone anywhere and you'd just be like, you'd strike up a conversation about football. Well, I don't think there's something universal that bonds females. And I know this might sound stereotypical, but I think... Yeah, put it this way. So say you walk into a bar and you're on your own, right? There's a group of girls and you think, oh, I'm bored stiff here. Let's just strike up a conversation at the bar. You know, if there's a group of men, I'll just say, and the match was on you'd be like what's the score lads?

18:56They'd say oh it's 2-1 you'd say who's playing well? You're just in then straight away what team do you support? You know then you're in

19:04Abbey Clancy: I don't think there's a universal thing that bonds women other than motherhood like football does with men and I know that might you know our listeners might think that's sexist but realistically wherever you go every man as you say could go to a bar and strike a conversation you know who's your favourite player what team do you support what games have you been to like my dad can document his whole life based on where he's been for football matches he'll be going 1986 I was in Madrid watching Liverpool play in the World Cup blah blah blah do you know what I mean they did well in the World Cup well you know piss off you know what I mean I know yes you know what I mean I agree and listen there are women that love football as well but I just think I totally agree with you there are Everywhere you go from children to normal aged men to pensioners, they can all sit and talk and talk and talk and bond about football.

20:03Abbey Clancy: So I was discussing this with Pete and Pete would be like, fashion. But no, not fashion. Like my best friend Lucinda, we would never in a million years talk about clothes. We would never go, oh my God, that's a nice dress. Where'd you get it? What's it warm? We'd never talk about makeup. you know for females or for the females i know there'd be different things you talk about some you talk about fashion some we talk about fitness some we talk about animals i don't know but there's not one one single thing that unites us other than motherhood i know we can all talk about being moms but there's nothing like football for women i know exactly what you're saying because i came in here today on the flight and was queuing at border control and just out of nowhere, it was about a million stag do's and hen do's, and out of nowhere, the Welsh national anthem started getting sung and then a Cardiff city anthem started getting sung and then from the back, I think the English fans were singing.

20:59Abbey Clancy: Cardiff is Wales, you know? Yeah, so two different, like the Welsh national and then a Cardiff chant, I think specific to Cardiff. And then sheep shag a chant came in from the UK crowd. All this, you know who you are. All this going on. But you wouldn't get that, you wouldn't have girls, like girl groups shouting like, Versace Do you know what I mean You wouldn't have like I saw Versace You wouldn't have like Fashion off Versace You wouldn't have Makeup offs You wouldn't have Scream Mac Mac Mac Charlotte Tell me Imagine that Charlotte Tell me No dream Is that because women Aren't fucking imbeciles Is that maybe what Does Charlotte Know your ear That actually works That's fucking great Oh my god I've just thought of Charlotte Tilbury's campaign for the World Cup.

21:47Abbey Clancy: Da, Charlotte, don't worry. So true, though, we don't. Yeah. That's what it's lacking, isn't it? There isn't that one universal thing that women can just sort of rally behind, scream out loud and proud. There isn't. And I am a female. I'm a mother of four. I love fashion. I love animals. I do like sport. Music. Music's a thing. There is fandom. Do you know what I mean? Fandom, yes. No, you know, like when you're, you know, groups of girls would be like, certainly back in the day, it'd be like, take that. You know, where you'd be like, you'd camp outside and you'd go, yes. You wouldn't go, take that, take that, take that.

22:25But you'd go like, ah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I used to listen. You need more chants. That's what you need.

22:31Abbey Clancy: I used to put take that on. I used to put take that on when I was a kid on tape, on tape, by the way. and sit there listening to babe and thinking, take that. We're going to knock at my door and rescue me and take me to them. Take you to them. And take that, Abby. Knock on my door and go, take that. My God. I used to love Jason, didn't I? Do you remember when we saw Jason? Yeah. When me and Pete first got together, we lived in Olderly Edge and we walked into a restaurant and Jason Orange is there, wasn't I? And I was like, oh, Jason. because I remember when I was like 10 just loving them. You did though?

23:12He was in the Spice Girls movie?

23:15Abbey Clancy: You mean yeah? Yeah. Wait, so Jason Orange was a bit of you? Oh, yeah. Was he? Absolutely. Have you seen him in Prey? Oh my God. You've not seen him in Prey? I've not seen him in Prey. To be fair, listen, take that for top level. It was a toss up between Jason and Howard for me. Okay. Yeah, he's alright. Yeah, take that. I don't know. Maybe more of a Barlow Faye who was the brains, wasn't he? Do you know what I mean? that's absolutely fantastic not Gary when you were watching Take That when you were a kid who did you want to be? you wanted to be Jason or Harry you didn't want Howard you didn't want to be Gary no Robbie Gary had no rhythm he was an unbelievable songwriter like the songs were amazing unbelievable songwriter he was he is but Robbie Robbie was like if I was good to be one I would see I didn't love Robbie in Take That but I love Robbie as a solo artist I think same here Maybe because he looked too young for me when I was 10.

24:09That's what I mean. He was about 20 when I was 10.

24:15Abbey Clancy: I fancied the more 25, 30-year-old. I don't know. Anyway. So, guys, this seems like a perfect time to hear from our sponsors. And if you're liking what you're hearing, like and subscribe.

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25:39Abbey Clancy: This next part of the podcast is brought to you by TUI. Right, babe, you know we had Lana and Jeanette on last time. They couldn't decide where they were to go. Or destination. Ibiza was kind of one of the shouts, but I think Lana was worried that Jeanette was going to be out partying and not having breakfast. It was incredibly funny, wasn't it? Yeah. So guys, welcome back. Hello. We're desperate to know what's been going on since we saw you last. Has there been some disagreements along the way? Did we come to a decision? Well, we did. We came to a decision. A little bit of bribery was sort of added.

26:14Abbey Clancy: We're going to Ibiza. Oh, okay, so you won. But you know what? It's a beautiful, beautiful island. like it's so much so many different things you could do like you can do the party thing but you can also do the chill day go and visit things I think of the food as well the food time the most beautiful beach with sunset dinners like yeah I'm excited it's going to be amazing so we can have a little bit of both yeah which would be lovely and I can have some sort of input because I've got my voice back welcome back thank you very much yeah thanks to the air to hold the fort last time right before you do I've been handed this where you're going right in Ibiza the two blue Tarida Beach, Ibiza.

26:51Okay, I'll read a little bit. It's a little bit of info for you. It's a family-friendly resort on the West Coast featuring the longest, widest white sand beach in the area. It has stunning sunset views, relaxed atmosphere, plus upscale beach clubs and restaurants for some wild nights. At the hotels, four restaurants and four bars. The pool includes everything from adults-only spot to a youngster-friendly splash park, so you can split up all day.

27:22Jeanette, there's some great spots for evening cocktails. Alana, the hotel will still have that chilled family atmosphere. It won't be a party. So even when you're bringing the kids, there's plenty for them to do.

27:31Abbey Clancy: How did you decide on the hotel? Talk me through everything. I think because it looks such a beautiful hotel. It's got a lot of variety with the restaurants. It's near everywhere as well. So we can kind of explore. It's a really good location. And the beach. Yeah, we love it. It's absolutely stunning. where it feels like there's enough for both of you to do. Well, Lana's the planner, as we know. So yes, she will have everything planned from 8am in the morning. And then I'll probably take over from about 6. Oh, so you've got day and evening planning. Yes. You don't need that planner on the holiday though because you used to be like that, but you've given up.

28:12No, do you know why I'm not like that anymore is because I was doing things wrong quite a lot. and I was like, do you know what? You take the role.

28:21Abbey Clancy: Do you think it's got everything you need and do you think you'll be able to drag Lana out with you? Yeah, a little persuading, but I do. I think that's another reason why we picked it is because there is everything there. So should we want to go out for an evening, we can, but if we want to stay, I think the bar's there, the setting, all looks quite nice. So I think it has, and yeah, I will be dragging Lana. okay right what's one thing that you'll do for the other that you know that they'll love well they say they have water sports we can go and see if we can i'd love that okay great we got a good feeling about this haven't we oh yeah i want to go with them thank you to two they found the perfect holiday uh prove that you can solve any holiday debate and we've helped you get your plans for the trip down you're all set all set guys before you go Tui, I've sent you a little present.

29:16Based on what we've chatted about, really. Don't get too excited.

29:20Abbey Clancy: So, Lana, this one is for you, honey. Basically, a pair of flip-flops to walk home from the club in. They're nice and comfortable. And these can double off when she annoys them. They're nice as you want to go in your house. Exactly. You can whip her. She doesn't. Give her a whack. Come on, Marie. Then, Jeanette, this one's for you. This is a nice alarm clock so you can go. So you've got no excuse for breakfast, all right? So that's been 7.55 for an eight o 'clock stop. Should be using the flip-flop to smack the alarm clock. Oh, well, we can't wait to hear about your trip and hope you have the best time.

29:58Abbey Clancy: Thank you. Oh, I love Jeanette and Lana. They're so cute, aren't they? Lovely, yeah. And I think they will argue on holiday, no doubt, but they will have the best time. They're going to have the best time, but you know what? After looking at all the comments that we've been getting and people DMing us on the pod, it's actually a real problem, this. disagreeing on where to go. Couples, families, you know, friends. It's a real thing. We disagree sometimes, you know, and then you get your way. And then we all have a lovely time. Exactly. So watch out because we'll be back with some tips for any holiday negotiation.

30:31We can sort it out right here on the Therapy Crouch.

30:34Abbey Clancy: Tui, you pick it, they sort it. Booking T's and C's apply, Atoll and Abta protected. Well, anyway, getting back to the subject, I think, you know, like, for instance, that I think about sometimes that when you talk about me playing golf, looking it through Abby's eyes, you know, she thinks now I'm chasing this little ball when I play golf. I'm chasing this ball around a field. Yeah. And I'm like, well, that's kind of what my life's been all my life. Like I've hit balls at tennis most of my life and I've just chased a ball around a field trying to score goals. Pete, you bore me to death with this conversation.

31:11Abbey Clancy: But that's how she sees it. That's exactly it. There's so much more that goes into it. It's so dull. I just actually can't bear listening to the analogy. It's just ridiculous. It's absolutely ridiculous. I get football because it's quick pace, it's fast, it's dynamic. It's, you know, the skills involved. Golf is just too slow. So when people say to me, listen, now you're an older lady. An older lady? 40. and you know your husband's retired never wait more since been retired by the way um but you should get into golf but i'm like it's too long it's like four hours when they're playing golf i'll be thinking oh i've got this to do i've got that to do i've got to get the fucking packed lunch in i've got to do wash and i've got to pick the dry clean up i've got to go ride my horse that's the whole point of golf i could not think about these things i could not but you have the thing is like men have problems as well right and they internalise no problems with bitching one they internalise those problems so when you go and play golf or you play football you lose yourself in that sport that's the whole reason behind it going to golf is as soon as I drive through those gates at the golf club I am free everything you're like mute abby block phone in the bag just the only thing I'm thinking about is when's my first beverage is it after nine is it pre-12 and I'm playing and I'm playing and I'm losing myself in the sport but the past few times you haven't drunk at golf no but I'm just I still lost myself in the sport of trying to compete see that's funny you should say that because when we were going through our house sale and our house move and it was all up in the air you know we've sold our house we haven't found anywhere are we doing the right thing and I go horse riding and do my lesson with Anthony I'd have to get off the horse because I'd be like I can't I can't get in the zone I can't think of what am I doing to my family this is the house we've loved, we've been in it I've had all my kids there, we've sold it we've got nowhere to go better than our house I could not just switch off and go I'm at one with my horse, I'm going to learn, I'm going to enjoy I was just like, I can't do this I was like a dithering wreck Yeah, you see that to me that is the real, I think genuinely, like when I played football, I'd have problems and I might have some quite bad problems in my life.

33:40The minute I went through the training ground, I was gone. That was gone. I was football mode. And I just, and I came out and I did exercise, obviously, you know, played football, felt great, had a shower and it was 10 times better when I left the training ground than it was when I came in. Yeah. And all that was was just...

34:01Abbey Clancy: There is a lot to be said about exercise and mental health, to be honest. But for me, because of how my mind works, I'm sure I've got ADHD. You can't forget it. You can't forget it. I can't forget it. When I've had problems and I'm doing yoga and it's breath work and it's all very slow and I'm like getting to the zone, I'm thinking I've got this, I've got to do this. But if I'm doing like a hit, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, jumps, birthies, this, this, this, I'm in the zone. but I can't you know all those techniques to wind down and think and meditate if I've got a problem I can't do it if I'm chill I can do it so Chips O 'Carrikay is talking to you you're thinking about something else Chips O 'Carrikay is the only man he can get through no we had Chips on the other night Pete was like not this again I said Pete I'm just so I'm just worrying she said babe I've got so much on my mind I need Chips I need Chips O 'Carrikay I need Chips O 'Carrikay Right, lie down.

35:02Abbey Clancy: The bed beneath you, it's got you. It's okay. It's okay. We've got gamma. Chip's okay, okay? Take a deep breath. In. In. Hold it for four pounds. And then breathe out.

35:18That's a great impression. I'm going to get into some audience wines, if you don't mind. We're going to have no time for agony. I know. We just rabbited on there.

35:26Abbey Clancy: There's no agony needed in today's session. guys so zen now look at her I think the moe's helped I'm a little bit tipsy yeah I'm joking I've just poured myself a little champagne it's look it's dusk kids are in bed great word kids are in bed great word for it dusk dusk okay I'm gonna do some audience words do you say dusk dusk I say dusk dusk

35:54Abbey Clancy: dusk dusk

35:58Abbey Clancy: dusk Joe from Norway. Ooh. Hello. I'm a fairly new Therapy Crouch client from Norway here. Love the pod. However, when someone on the pod engages in physical comedy, you cannot explain what's going on in Pure Lever Pudlian. Like in the World's Worst Job Revealed episode in January, your producer visualises some clancy slapstick with the following line. For anyone not watching... That was perfect. That's us to crew me on all fours. So for context, I went back and watched this clip. You get on all fours at some point to describe how Pete does back exercises. Did I? Maybe we can put the clip in, in this, if you're watching.

36:41Did I? You do. And Ross says, for anyone...

36:45Abbey Clancy: I haven't been on all fours for a long time. He says, sorry, like, for anyone not watching, he's on all fours. But he says it so... Can you imagine it? I cannot. I'm too divisible nowadays but I listened to it back and it's so Scouse it's so Liverpoolian so what does that mean he said it's very well not watching our abby's on all fours but it sounds like our abby's on all fours oh right okay our abby's on all fours yeah okay he said what sounds like a battle cry in medieval Welsh or some dark spell that Harry Potter is reluctant to say out loud it didn't clear anything up for anyone not watching and I still don't know what's happened otherwise great stuff shout out to Norway there okay so basically it's our Abbey which is you know what you'd say if someone if your family you know our John or whatever our Abbey is on all fours which as an expression means to be on all fours why was I on all fours?

37:46Abbey Clancy: she was on all fours hands and hands and knees yeah hands and knees hands and knees I said that really weird there she was hands and knees you've got like Chips vibes going on why was that on all floors guys you were demonstrating how you God knows what I didn't want to know what she was demonstrating from what I could tell you were demonstrating how Pete does his spinal exercise on the floor oh yeah in and out up and down in and out and up and down on all floors grow up guys intriguing there you go alright well Jodie says hi guys Well, that was like today, like Jack's met his new friends and they came round to the house and I was like, do you want lolly ice?

38:29Lolly ice.

38:30Abbey Clancy: And he was like, what's a lolly ice? And I was like, it's an ice lolly. He went, oh yeah, I'll have one. The Scousers do have a lot of terminology. That's just incorrect, that one. I loved you all, but that is unfortunately incorrect. It is in fact an iced lolly. It's not a lolly iced. We don't say lolly iced. No, obviously you wouldn't say it, but you're saying lolly ice, which means a lolly iced. It's actually an iced lolly. It's a lolly which has been iced. We'll put a poll out and see what they... Let us know. Let us know. Let us know. Well, I'm not going to win that one, seeing as Liverpool is like a dot on the English map.

39:10No, but I think there's a lot, there's a stronghold of Scouts.

39:13Abbey Clancy: I wonder what the Geordies and the Mancunians and the Scottish call a lolly ice. Well, it's like a... I need them on my side. Yeah, that's fair. It's like a, you know, a bap or a balm cake or I would say a roll. Curry chip balm. Yummy. Do you know what a balm is, Gaz? A balm? What would you say? You're a brummie, aren't you? Yeah, I'm a brummie. You know, for like a... It's the least brummie, brummie I've ever heard. I lost it. Like a ham roll, I would say. Yeah, ham bap. Ham bap. It's a bap. It's a bap. A balm cake is a bap. A balm cake. Balm cake. You wouldn't say a balm cake. I don't say balm cake now, but I grew up with balm cake.

39:53Abbey Clancy: Did you grow up with that? Yeah. What'd you say? My mum and dad have a North Wednesdays, so like, they said balm cake. Balm cake. Balm cake. But it's not a cake, it's not even remotely cake-ish. It's no cake and there's no balm involved. What's balm as well? It's lip balm. How are we spelling balm? Is it B-A-L-M or B-A-R-M? B-A-L-M. No, it's R. It's R. Oh, R. I'm typing this in It's not balm Yeah, balm B-A-R-M, cake What's the definition of balm cake? It's a balm cake Don't say your arse and them black undies and them white linens Got a couple of cheeky balm cakes down there It's a soft, round, flattish bread from the north-west of England Exactly Leavend with balm What does that mean?

40:39It's a bunch of words Leavend with balm Leavend with balm

40:44Abbey Clancy: Leavend? What's the definition of leave-and? What does leave-and mean? I think it's like lathered. Is it like how we knead the bread? Yes, leave-and. Adjective of bread made with yeast or another raising agent. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. Rises with yeast. Right. Gotcha. Wow. It's all fascinating stuff, isn't it? Educational pod today. Jodie says, hi guys, not so much of a wine, but can Abby do a little segment with an outfit of the pod. She always looks so effortlessly chic. I feel like we've heard a lot about Cardi P's ensemble preferences. Hopefully you enjoyed those. So it would be good to balance out with the fashion advice.

41:28So hold on. She's saying I'm overindulging with my fashion advice and you're not saying enough.

41:34Abbey Clancy: Because I'm not a fashionista. I just wear whatever's clean. You're not a fashionista. You wear whatever's clean. Is that a joke? I just go into the wardrobe and whatever's clean, I'll put it on. Look at you. I want to see the kicks. I was going to ask you earlier off camera, what are the kicks? They're like Gucci Crocs. Gucci Crocs. Oh my God. They're not mine, they're my daughter's. Okay. And these are just a Jacquemus jean and a Saint Laurent tee. Yeah, just thrown together. Just cobbled together. You do look effortlessly chic today. That's a great word for you. Dior glass. That's great. I sound like such a wanker.

42:08Abbey Clancy: But yeah, I've basically got Sophia's whole outfit on. the perks of having a six foot daughter the same size clothes as you she's way cooler than me and has all the gear and I just nick it so now I'm cool just repping it but how did you think about each bit? do you know what Pete? no I don't like hands on heart I am the wide gusset comfort girl and that's the truth unless I'm going out I want to look hot when I go out but like day to day I'm like a gym wear girl I like my jeans I'm quite tomboyish really I'm a bit of a ladette but I like to if I'm going out I want to dress up and look early and hot you make an effort yeah yeah yeah 100 % you look fantastic you do you do I don't know why you're laughing I don't I've literally considering I packed 12 cases of absolute nonsense here Yeah, I've got nothing.

43:11Abbey Clancy: Nothing good. I've got loads of bikinis, but I'm not about to sit here in a bikini and do this. Well, you know, if you want some subscribers. Jesus. I can lend you some linen pants. I brought plenty, so you're okay. But yeah, I'm very flattered, so thank you. But yet, no, I am a whatever's clean kind of girl. Whatever's clean kind of girl. That's not, it's not. You fucking dog. Honestly, just tell the truth. So you think I think about what I'm going to wear? Yeah, I do. I don't think you're like, you take ages to think about it, but I do think you piece it together well and you think about it.

43:47Yeah.

43:48Abbey Clancy: I genuinely don't. That's actually the God's honest truth. Like hand on heart. Fair play. Maybe you're born with it. Like if I'm going to work or I'm doing something, yeah, of course. But day to day life, I'm just hobo. There was a fucking dog called it, this hobo. You know, that was a whole show. I mean, granted it was out in the 90s. That was Noodle, wasn't it? Maybe tomorrow I want to settle down. But until tomorrow I'll just keep moving on. Is that Chris Christopherson? It's a little dog. It's a little dog that just used to save people from drowning. Lassie. And then he'd just move on. And at the end you just see him running down the street.

44:27I can't do it. Oh my God, it was... I actually can't do this. I'm actually welling up myself. I actually forgot about the little... Are you all right? Are you guys in? I can't do that I actually can't people have a certain distinction you're crazy I'm just trying to remember now it's really it's actually really should we watch her tonight and murder instead of all this

44:48Abbey Clancy: murderous shit that you put on every night yeah but what I'm saying is this is TV back in the day it was so wholesome it used to come on I think you know kind of afternoon-ish and I'd go yes and it was in America it was like how in Texas or something not Lassie no like same thing as Lassie but that was the song and he was a little dog He was quite a big dog. And like, he'd always help people. What breed was he? I can't. He was a brown one. But he was a lovely dog. And that was the song. Maybe tomorrow I want to settle down. But until tomorrow I just keep moving on. And he used to run off into the distance.

45:23And he would have, he saved like a load. And everyone was going, oh, stay, stay, stay. And he'd just go, I'm off to help someone else. No. I've got it here. The littlest hobo. Terry Bush, maybe tomorrow. There you go.

45:38Abbey Clancy: I want the hobo. Right, babe, watch this. I can't believe you lot's too young for this. You missed out. Can you see from there? Here he is. He's a husky. Look at him. It's a husky. It's a song. It's a song. It looks like a husky to me. I make a new friend.

46:07Abbey Clancy: He's a husky cross with a German shepherd. Look, I want to settle. I'm going to wait back to go. Look, he's flying a plane here. I saw that thing at the RSPCA the other day. They rescued 250 poodle cross dogs that was locked in one home. You think about what's going on in the world now, right? I have all the problems, like people put on the news. I follow this thing on Instagram called Good News. Right. Because I can't deal with all this shit, bad stuff. Let's put on the littlest hobo, right? When all that happens, I'm saying you watch the news, you're feeling down. Put on the littlest hobo to see that little fella saving people.

46:51It's really wholesome.

46:52Abbey Clancy: Well, that's why I've got my Saturday job in the animal shelter. I don't want to be with humans I hate them I just want to be with animals all day Look at this little Ralph here I know, as if I'm cute We don't deserve pets We just don't We absolutely don't They're so loyal Aren't they? No, the RSPCA posted this thing We rescued 250 dogs Who were in this home But they were all mature dogs Mattered to death that shouldn't have ever happened those dogs have been through so much trauma it's yes great rescue mission but that shouldn't be allowed when it comes to bloody animal welfare and safety there's not enough anyone can go to a shop and buy a pet it's not right it's not right just saying well said alright babe well you know Gaz has told us he's got a little quiz I know that got a bit deep but I'm passionate about it and Littlest Hobo just sent me over the edge it's really wholesome it's lovely honestly I just I can't believe that you didn't know it about it because I used to love watching that I can't believe you you'd watch that I absolutely loved it it was one of the biggest shows everyone knew I love Animals I love Animals I just don't want them wrapped around me 24-7 maybe tomorrow I wanna settle down until tomorrow I just keep playing golf let's bang that on the speakers playing golf when we wrap today you are such an arsehole okay guys I don't know if you know this about me I love a quiz I'm a big quizzer right and I thought seeing as we're in Portugal huge fan of the quiz huge fan of the quiz I love the quiz you know I'd like to do a big fat quiz for you one day maybe at Christmas time end of the year the year that was we'll do a big wrap up quiz but yes I wanted to test your knowledge on Portugal 10 fairly simple questions but some some more difficult than others and I want to see if you really know the place, all right?

48:55So I need a buzzer sound from each of you because I want it to be like lawless. So can I get a buzzer sound when you buzz in if you think you know the answer? You go, fantastic. All right, you stick into that. Ding dong.

49:07Ding dong. Okay, right. I've called the quiz. Ten questions. Ronal, do you know or Ronal, don't you know? Madeira, Portugal.

49:15Abbey Clancy: Well, I'm not going to know this, am I? Well, here we go. This is not fair. Question number one, fingers on the buzzer. Which famous tangy fiery sauce was created by the Portuguese settlers in Mozambique?

49:29Famous sauce Ding dong Reggae reggae That's good Reggae reggae I saw an actual joke

49:37Abbey Clancy: I'm just thinking of the sauce I saw on the dragon's den He's got like, it's a Rastafarian Yeah, what's wrong with that? Well, have you seen a Rastler in Portugal recently? It was a valiant attempt and you're on the right lines. It's a repeated word. It is.

50:01This is stupid. It's Peri-Peri. Well done, that's it. Correct.

50:06Abbey Clancy: Frig off. Can you make a note? I knew it was Peri-Peri, but I just didn't want to say it too quick. Sticking on, Peri-Peri. Okay, synonymous with Nando's, we can all agree. can anyone tell me where the first ever Nando's was in the UK it's relevant Shepherds Bush I'm going to give you that it's Ealing I'm going to give you that Ealing Common it's got a plaque it's got like a blue plaque on the outside I've been there you've been there yeah opposite John O's you told me that when we went there that's fine that's I know it that's I knew when you took me on one of our first dates you said this is one of the first Nando's around really I knew that how iconic is that romantic huh I've been there many a time just not even Common there yeah where I used to train for QPR really yes we used to nip in there sometimes oh nice it's a great spot to be fair number three which famous footballer sorry was born and raised in Maya Portugal Maya yeah it's a tricky one why are these all football related I was going to say they're not they're not you'll get I think you'll get next one Flotinho great shout he's Brazilian well we speak Portuguese I thought you said Ronaldo yeah I was like I know Ronaldo's some idea like Bing Dong Bernardo Silva Along the right lines?

51:18Bruno Fernandes. Yes, correct. Question four, what is the name of the decorative, typically blue and white ceramic tiles found in Portugal? I didn't know this.

51:27Abbey Clancy: I've got them all over my house. You've got them in the house, yeah. Bing bong? Am I allowed to say mosaic? No. I know this, Pete, because I am currently tiling our gateposts in these tiles. And it's like alogeju. Yeah. Alogeju tiles. that's, you know, that it's a famous... Unbelievable. You know, that everywhere. We've got original tiles here from... I got here today and I was like, okay, yeah, she's got some of them. Oh, yeah. Fair play. That is a rogue one. Never knew that. One foot but one tile question. Okay. This is going to be fastest finger first. This might be the easiest one. Are you ready?

52:04Fingers on the buzzer. What's the famous custard tart pastry found in Portugal?

52:07Abbey Clancy: Oh, I don't know the Portugal name because I call them custard tarts. Oh, do you? Oh. I don't know this. Okay. Should do, shouldn't I? I love them though. It's pastel de nata for anyone who's... I would know that. You would not know that? They don't do them at tapas. You probably never count them yet. Okay, this one is, sorry, another football. How many times did Peter Crouch play against Portugal during his England career? I'm going to get you first dibs on this because he probably knows. I am going to say six. Do you have any idea? I'm going to say three. it's actually it's lower from what I can tell once Saturday the 1st of July 2006 World Cup quarterfinal finished 0-0 was that the only time I played you've played against Ronaldo so many times yeah but that was under 21s under 18s did you play against Ronaldo when he played for Man U yeah Man U someone correct me if I'm wrong there but yeah according to englandstats.com okay alright shout them out to the nearest million what's the population of Portugal

53:13are you enjoying this 15 million

53:20Abbey Clancy: I'm going to say 12 million because it's not that big is it Portugal I'll tell you who's right you're both close Abs takes it with 10.7 million so 10 million 11 million what's the score now is it 2-1 what's the score 3-1 3-2 3-1 to me to Abs ooh okay three questions to go true or false the popular sport paddle was invented in 1969 by a Portuguese businessman true or false ding dong ding dong true false false which one is it she said true I'm going to say false I'm going to take your first answer I'm afraid true or false false I know it was false I was joking no no it's Spanish did the word true come out of your mouth I was joking I know it's false it's Spanish Mexican businessman in Acapulco.

54:11He didn't have room for a tennis court.

54:13Abbey Clancy: Well, he speaks Spanish in Mexico. There we go. That's it. Okay, question number nine. What is the capital of Portugal? Ding dong. Ding dong. Lisbon. Lisbon. You can't copy what I'm saying while I'm saying it. I know the capital of fucking Portugal. I know you do, but you weren't quick enough. You said ding dong. Watch me say L and then went Lisbon. So you think I don't know the capital of Portugal? No, I think you know it. You just didn't know it quick enough. Pete, I'm not some dumbass. My whole life, I grew up with my dad in the car. What's the capital of Spain? What's the capital of France?

54:44Abbey Clancy: Don't start. You know I'm good at this game. If you want to go there. I can beat you on capitals. Do you want to go? No. Do you want to do capital cities? Pete, are you joking? Go on then. Do you want to do capital cities? Let's go. Right, here we go. Let's go. Come on. Right, so we're changing this quiz. We're going to shout them out now. Come on. All right. Okay, what are we doing? Capital cities. Give us a capital city. What, of any country? Any country. Okay. France Paris Spain Madrid Correct She's literally one second after me I'm saying math and she's going Madrid No You are No come on Give me another one Give me a difficult one Okay A difficult one Okay Let's go for Okay Really Yeah because she won't get that The capital of Denmark is Copenhagen Copenhagen Correct You're She's going...

55:33Abbey Clancy: I'm not listening to you. I'm not listening to you. I'm doing my own thing. You're such... Go on, another one, another one. I think that was a tie at the end of all that. No, no, no, keep going. Keep going, keep going. Keep going. Harder, okay. We need a winner. Okay, hang on. I'm going to type in capitals of the world. You can't look at me and then say it. I'm not doing that, Pete. I'm absolutely not. I'm not whispering. I know my capitals. I'm not whispering. Write them down then, big shot. Okay, you go first then. Give Ab one. Yeah, give me one, then give him one. Okay. The Netherlands. Amsterdam.

56:08Correct. Turkey. Istanbul. Not true, apparently. It's Ankara. I think it's a common misconception. Thailand. Phuket. Bangkok.

56:22Abbey Clancy: Bangkok. Bangkok. This is so cute. Don't give him fucking Australia. South Africa Joburg I'm going to remove that because there's three and none of that how can you have three it has Cape Town Cape Town, Johannesburg and Pretoria apparently I was a new of that so did I okay this is what I've been to I know this is definitely Columbia Columbia Bogota correct well done very good I'm good at this game I'm not good at this game okay we'll have to wrap up no we won't keep going we won't we're not wrapping up we're carrying on come on guys Iceland Reykjavik Reykjavik is correct well done well played this is my favourite thing we've ever done this is so cute seeing you both and you I don't know if anyone's even interested in anyone what's the capital of Australia Canberra yes yeah well played everyone says Sydney good motherfuckers who don't know okay we need to wrap this up I think the winners in this one do you know what I think the listeners are the winners because they get to listen to that they do they do that was a real I like that I like that that was real it's a great game we probably won't do it again we will I love capital cities I grew up with it boy girl name me a fruit beginner with G I'll tell you what do you mean gherkin

57:59On that note I think we'll just switch I think we'll just turn all this off now and carry on with this game and have a few more Thanks for watching

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