Abbey Wants To Play A Crackhead In A Movie?!

0:00Abbey Clancy: Monday.com AI agents took over my work. And I absolutely love it. Chasing deadlines, writing status reports, updating stakeholders. Agents handle the daily grind now. I stay in the loop only when it matters. Create your own AI agent in minutes on Monday.com. Do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one, for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization? Well, it's easier than you think. We're Acast, and we give you the platform to do it all yourself. browse thousands of popular podcasts, choose the shows that match your perfect audience, set your budget and launch.

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0:51Abbey Clancy: It's actually not just a job for us. We actually really enjoy this. I'll be honest with you. Like we could bear each other this morning. We still can't bear each other. How about you guys with smells and fluids? What about double-wabby smelly fluids? Read a stat the other day. Men who get called daddy in bed experience a 300 % spike in testosterone. Ugh. You know what you've got to do tonight, baby.

1:18Obligado.

1:20Abbey Clancy: Hey, guys. If you're enjoying our content, please like and subscribe. Ask me anything. Shava. Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch. Ask me anything with me, Abby Clancy. I'm me, Pig. You need to wake up. Come on. Wow. Yeah. Jesus, okay. I like it. Me, for the crouch. Or do I have to do it? Yeah. With me, girls. Wow. We need to get this party started. Guys. Yeah. Bored to death sitting with you three. Come on. Fucking hell. You're freezing to death over there, yeah. Jesus, who's trying to feather up your knickers? I want you to ask me loads of things and entertain me Okay Jenny Ingram Jenny Ingram Jenny Ingram Jenny Ingram Why do I feel like I know her?

2:07I reckon you know someone called Jenny and an Ingram Charles Ingram was the guy that coughed Who wants to be a man?

2:14Abbey Clancy: How have you remembered that? What a pull What a pull Yeah major Charles Ingram You can remember that but you can't remember three things on a shopping list when I send him to the shop I've got There's really stuff like there's stuff that I just shouldn't know but I do it's like you know things from the 80s and 90s football we realised we and mate Ollie we developed a game the other day and it's revealing a footballer from the 80s 90s and 2000s but really slowly from their eyeball out no way I reckon by the forehead I had most of them no way yeah eye and forehead and I was like Jason DeZell that's unbelievable yeah it was brilliant and he's has he got a particularly standout forehead.

2:56Abbey Clancy: No, no, no, he can do it with anyone. He's actually sent it to me today. Let me see if I can do yours. He's developed this game, right? And yeah, look, see that? So he's developed this, right? That's you. Right, so I'll tell you who this is. Oh, I know that one. Phil Jones. Yeah, but you can't say it when his whole face is out. No, this isn't the game we were playing. This is just what he's developed now. We were spending time on it. That is Michael Owen. Mike Lowen. Yeah, nice. It's not. It's not. It's Phil Bardsey. Phil Bardsey. But that's his head made skinny. Phil Bardsey's head is not that thin.

3:35Yeah, but it's a good game. Yeah. A really good game. That sounds amazing. Yeah. You got 10 out of 10. But yeah, I was very, very good at that. But yeah, that's how I know Charles Ingram, basically. Was he on the game? Well, no, not at all, but it's just random information I don't need. Okay. I can tell you no stuff about Steve Sedgley. Do you know what I mean? Who's that? Exactly. You shouldn't... Exactly. No one should notice.

4:03Abbey Clancy: Who is he? Steve Sedgley was Ipswich, Tottenham player. Niche boarder. You knew a lot about Ian Fleming the other week as well. You've got some deep knowledge of random things I don't need. It's the same as my mate. My mate used to know every real actor's name in Neighbours. every real actor's name from him Al Stewart you go bang like I know you know home and away but like you know like Madge Bishop do you know like Frank Butcher's real name? Paterson Clement oh no Paterson Clement was Pat was Pat Frank Butcher's real name is Mike uh Reid this has got me thinking do you know mastermind do you have a specialist subject Abs what would yours be if you had to sit down and rattle off random knowledge about one topic what do you think you'd go for?

4:54Abbey Clancy: I don't think I've got one. Might have been 90s footballers, I reckon. Would it? You've got a solid... Maybe dog breeds? Yeah, yeah, you'd ace that. That'd be good. Dog breeds. What would yours be? That's a good question. Probably, I reckon, the Arctic Monkeys. Do you have a... Why is that tickling you? Why has that got you? I think I'll be down isn't that I think I'll see that coming I thought you'd be more like blue yeah I'd be like Olly Mers Olly Mers yeah Olly Mers yeah blue blue do you know what Spotify did this thing the other day it was it's 20 years of Spotify I love Arctic Monkeys they're one of my favourite bands thank you see what my taste Olly Mers blue actually no they do your 20 years wrapped right and it shows you what you've been listening to for the last 20 years pray take that right at the top One of my favourite music videos of all time.

5:49Abbey Clancy: Really? I've never listened to it in my life. I don't know why it was there. You never listened to it? No. I always listen to that. What do you reckon your top, top listeners? He told me it was an Arctic Monkeys tune. Was it? Yeah, yeah. Favourite Arctic Monkeys tune? Oh, I like these questions. Changes all the time. I'll probably say it off the AM album. You know AM? Yeah. Do we know AM? Are you fucking joking? We've seen them perform it live about seven million times. What do you think of him now? What do you think of his croonery ways? I like him. A little bit different. It's still a vibe for me.

6:18I think, you know, it's not, you're never going to, you know, first few albums are insane. Insanely good, yeah.

6:25Abbey Clancy: I couldn't even pick my favourite tune. 505 for me. 505. All day. All day. So you're more of the old school stuff. What about the new stuff? Tranquility bass. The car. I like Snap Out of it as well, to be honest. That's a banger. They're all great shouts. I love them. 505 for me. I might listen to them later, actually. Shall we stick them on? Sing them on the speakers? Yeah. Rock Out.

6:51Abbey Clancy: I am shocked you're an Arctic Monkeys fan really what about me was giving blue my Vyash stripy shirt button down alright fair touche he's more of like a JLS eyes you down eyes you down for like the Saturdays

7:12shout out to the Saturdays laughing laughing wrong with them so like yeah That's just the vibe I was going.

7:19Abbey Clancy: No, I would have had you down as more pop. Would you? Oh, like a Benson Boone, all the new stuff. Yeah. We love Benson Boone. I like Benson Boone. I do. Yeah. He's got one song, hasn't he? Have you guys done Glastonbury? You've done the... You saw Arctic Monkeys at Glastonbury? Did you? We did, yeah. Yeah. 2013, that one. No. Oh, just go on. I wasn't there. People hated that. Yeah. Did it go down bad? Wasn't as good as maybe some of the other headliners. My friend said he was kind of off time with it on purpose so you can really sing along with him. Yeah. Yeah, that was the feedback I got. Was a bit like that.

7:57Abbey Clancy: I think you've just got to give the fans what they want, haven't you? And I think if you probably experiment with new stuff. Yeah. We've won a head of bangers. Do you like Catfish in the Bottomland then? I did, yeah. They've kind of gone off a boil a little bit. Do you like them? Loved. Did you? Really? They got two albums, didn't they? Yeah. Right, it's the perfect time to hear from our sponsors. And if you're enjoying this, then please like and subscribe.

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9:00Dear Pete, Gaz and Abby, I know a guy called Gary who's got alopecia and his nickname is Biscuit, Gary Baldy. Brilliant.

9:09Abbey Clancy: No, thanks. That's all he wants. That's all he wants. No question. yeah what's a Gary Baldi it's a biscuit isn't it Gary Baldi I've never had one never had of it no it's a biscuit yeah it's a bit like a what's in it like a fig oh is that like a fruit and nut thingy kind of is it like a nice biscuit with raisins in obviously I know it's a biscuit but I've never I think it's like a slightly raisiny yeah yeah a Gary Baldi do you know what I had last night I need to put it out there remember when we complained about the rich tea not being cooked enough. It wasn't baked enough. They went a bit pale.

9:47Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

9:48Abbey Clancy: So I had digestives in bed last night. They are so thin now. Are they? Like, they're about two millimetres thinner than usual. Shut up. Digesters are on the Xembex. My biggies. They're on the Xembex. Like everyone else. I thought it was like a digestive thin, but we're definitely not on a Xembex. We're looking at it. It was like a digestive thin, but it wasn't. it was just advertised as a normal digestive. I don't know if it's out because we're out here in Portugal, but it wasn't the McVitie's brand. But I want to ask our listeners, have they noticed how thin... A lack of weight in the digestive department.

10:27Abbey Clancy: No, because it was like a chunky, it was a strong Bicky, wasn't it? It's a strong one. I can't picture... Yeah, what you're talking about now, is it like an anemic digestive? It's just a thin one. Yeah. Because they were quite, they were about that thick. Sturdy, sturdy, yeah. You had to dunk them, didn't you? So they had to be quite sturdy. They're like that then now. I'm going to have a look at them. Is there something that's already left? I've got some, yeah. I ate half the pack last night. You didn't have one last night. I didn't. You know, I was that tired. I just stayed to sleep. I missed out Jenny Ingram's question.

10:56Abbey Clancy: Sorry about that drilling in the background. It's not us. Yeah. Something's going on over there. Someone's gardening. Shut up.

11:09They've listened. I forgot Jenny Ingram's question What ordinary thing do you do terribly even though you're both highly successful and number two if you could play a character in a movie series who would you play she then goes on to say I love this pod so much I know it's just a job to you guys but without this podcast my house would never get cleaned the washing wouldn't get done nor would the food shop I actually can't do any of those jobs without listening to you at the same time that's like me with Chibzo Carrick

11:40Abbey Clancy: I can't go to sleep without him now. She was like, Caracay. She was like, Caracay. This is Crouch. I'm a massive Villa fan. You're my hero alongside Juan Pablo and Gal. And Abby, I've been a fan since the top model days. That's amazing. So number one. It's actually not just a job for us. Can we put that out there? Yeah. We actually really enjoy this. I know. We love it. It's definitely not a job. Carl, this is a job. You call this a job? We really love doing it. Like, you know, I'll be honest with you. Like, we, you know, couldn't bear each other this morning. And now we come here and have a nice chat.

12:16And it kind of, you know, we'll still probably go our separate ways straight after this. But at least for half of the day or for an hour, we get to sit down and remember what we were like.

12:35Abbey Clancy: You cute fruits. Jenny says, what ordinary things do you do terribly even though you're very highly accessible? Ordinary thing that you're shit at it? That's a great question. Ordinary thing that I'm shit at. What do you reckon most people do better than you? Better than me. Loads. I reckon cooking's one of my worst. I reckon I'm genuinely one of the worst chefs. Do you think? Of all time. Yeah. And that's quite an ordinary thing, isn't it? It's also really annoying watching you cook. It's annoying. How so? How is it annoying? Just because he's slow and messy. The mess is, yeah. I think I've actually improved.

13:18Since I've given up in the kitchen, I've actually really, really improved.

13:25Abbey Clancy: Do you know what, sir? Do you know why I've given up? Because if I make something nice, people go, I'm home late or something like that, and then all the kids won't eat it. So there's no point in me putting effort in because it's not received well. Really? People don't care. That breaks me up. What do you mean it's not received well? Because it's just like taken for granted. It's not like... I love it and I always say thank you. And, you know, when you do cook, I always really, really appreciate it. I think that's fair to say, isn't it? Yeah. But when we get into our new house, because I'm never going to leave it, I am going to be an incredible cook.

14:00Abbey Clancy: Oh, yeah? Yeah, better. because I'll have my own homegrown produce. Yeah. I'm going to be a lot more meticulous and put a lot more love into it. That's what I want to do. Yeah, that's nice. Is the only thing you're doing pretty good at that you probably should be? I'm not excellent at washing and ironing. Has that gone away now? It used to be like everyone would wash and iron all the time. Now no one irons anymore. Everyone's got crease shirts everywhere they go. Really? Oh no. I've noticed that. No, I can't put anything creased away. Really? No. See, Kaz loves washing and ironing. It's like her thing.

14:39Abbey Clancy: Yeah. She's really therapeutic. Therapeutic, and she loves, like, putting something on the TV or a podcast and doing all the ironing, but she's, like, meticulous, Kaz, isn't she, with all her clothes? But I don't, like, compared to other people, when you did washing, the whole house smells of washing powder. I don't feel like I can achieve that. and I don't even dislike it I just don't think I'm A1 at it no I know what you mean I know what you mean I am like my mum is big spill big deal big deal has that been shouted to you in the streets yet have you got that yet everywhere really yeah I was on a dog walk earlier and this old fella walked past and said nice white shirt there son oh no oh a clean shirt I said yeah I said it's the long pods by Ariel did you But you haven't brought one pod home for me.

15:31Abbey Clancy: I have. I brought loads of you home. I brought loads home for you. Where? What? I put them all in the utility. You didn't? I have. No, because I think... Did you just take them? Didn't you put the Aeropod? No. You've got a little fragrant one now, a little pink one that I brought home as well. I've never seen them, Pete. Genuinely. Imagine we did come in and just steal the Aeropod. That would be quite a niche. Theft. Okay, so second question was, If you could play a character in a movie or series, who would you play? There's loads. I would like to play Candice in Hunger Games. Is it Katniss? Katniss.

16:11Abbey Clancy: Katniss in Hunger Games. Would you? That was a good one. And also I thought I, Tonya, has a good role. Ooh, yeah. The skyscating one. Yeah, that was a great role. Did you ever used to act? No, I'd love to. I'm too shy. I've fucked my whole life up really by being shy, aren't I? I think you've done pretty well, I would say. But I'm not shy here. No, fucked. No, but I don't have the ability to overcome stage fright. Really? You say that, but you did strictly and won that. Yeah, but I... It must have been hard to deal with at times. I know, but I've explained this. Yes, I won, but I'm still disappointed in myself because I didn't...

16:55Abbey Clancy: performed to full capacity. I was on about 50%. Wow. Really? So even though I won, I was a bit like, but I still had so much more to give and it's frustrating that I couldn't do it. And what was it? Stage right holding you back from giving 100 %? Okay. That's interesting. Mm. And the modelling years hadn't prepared you for doing that? No. Really? No. So that's quite insightful. That's interesting. Yeah. I mean, for me, I would love to have been maybe in the business. It's one of those films. Oh, you love the business. I love the business. Sexy Beast. I thought you were calling the business, like, as in show business.

17:35Abbey Clancy: I'd love to be in the business. I'd love to be in the business. Darling. Oh, my God, no. I don't mean... Like the industry. For me, the word show business is... No, the people who say the industry goes through me. The industry. Well, you know, because you've been in the industry. What the fuck are you talking about? Been in the industry. Been in the industry for 20 years. No, I'm not in the industry, please. Show business. The business. I like the film. It's a good film. Yeah. I just think that kind of 80s vibe. It's a bit of you. 90s vibe. It's good. Bit of a geezer type. Something like that.

18:11But as a role, the obvious ones, I don't know, like a Superman or something like that. James Bond.

18:19Abbey Clancy: The obvious. Oh, you make a great Bond. I think Gareth from The Office I was kind of born to do. What about like De Niro? What about De Niro in Casino? De Niro. Yeah, play in one of those, like a casino. I'd like to be in a comedy as well, like something really funny. Do you know what? Amazon's doing that. I don't think you should do a comedy because that's just too typical. And you can just do your one eyebrow up and do that same thing. I'm going to see his acting chops. You know what? People like that. It's only you that dislikes it because you dislike me. No, I love you, but I would like to see you in something more, like, raw and...

18:54Real.

18:55Abbey Clancy: Real. Imagine that. Just show my real acting skills. Yeah, instead of just standing in the car and being the class clowny vibes. So, yeah, class clown, people would expect that. Yeah. So, that's for me, like, I wouldn't want to do, like, a bimbo role, because that's what people would think. I want to do something like, I'm like a crackhead or something, you know. Do you know that type of serious... The role you're born to play. The crackhead, crackhead. you know what I mean I wouldn't want to do like an obvious yeah yeah and I think you should do the same I don't think we're like inundated with acting roles we should do like our own indie movie I reckon if we somehow make get a few people together and fund the movie you can play a crackhead and I'll play fucking someone really a serious accountant but you know where they like kind of really really like disfigure and put like a big nose on and like broken teeth and all of that.

19:50Abbey Clancy: Like Matthew McConaughey does that a lot or Gladiator. out the norm. Yeah, so they don't look beautiful. So Charlize Theron in Monster. Yeah, like that. Exactly. Absolutely that. That's a great role. But I look like fucking Monster anyway when we get out of the show. First thing in the morning last thing at night. Literally. I do. God, you look just like Charlize Theron. Thanks, babe. In Monster. I do, though. I've used that as a reference so many times for myself. I don't know anything like that. That was a great question. Thank you from Charles Ingram's wife. Sophie says, here, I need to get an ick off my chest.

20:31I've been with my husband for 15 years altogether and there isn't much that I find icky from him. He's a farmer, so there's plenty of reasons to have icks. But no amount of animal...

20:39Abbey Clancy: Oh, I don't think being a farmer's an ick. No amount of animal body fluids, sweaty bodies and smells have ever put me off. However, he's a larger built, non-athletic fella. And obviously being a farmer, he has to catch animals. My whole entire body shuddered and wanted to turn itself inside out when I witnessed him trying to run to catch a sheep. Totally get this. Totally get it. He tripped over his own feet and stumbled forward. He didn't fall, but seeing a gentle giant stumble, arms flailing everywhere and not fall, made me want to gouge my own eyes out. I think it would have been better if he'd just fallen on his face.

21:19I'm sorry, big boy. Love the part, the farmer's mortified wife. Sorry, big boy. I like that. I really like that message in. I can see it a mile off, you know. People falling over, like, that can do it for you, I think. It can ick you out. I reckon that would...

21:35Abbey Clancy: So, Dias and I gave her the ick when I ran the other day. Where did I run to? You were there. Yeah, I think if you fell over as well, I think that might give me an ick. Really? Yeah, this might be the only thing. Just a stumble. A stumble's worse than a fall. Do you think it is? Because a fall, I'd just pick you up and go, oh, you're right, and I'd help you. But a stumble. I don't think it'd give you the ick. You'd just hysterically laugh. Yeah, probably. Probably. It wouldn't give you the ick. But she'd just come back and say, don't ever run again, Mum. She's like, oh, you cannot run. She can't run either.

22:11This Sophie says, no amount of animal bodily fluids, sweaty bodies or smells ever puts me off. How are you guys with smells and fluids? Never thought I'd be asking you that. What about double-wavish smelly fluids?

22:29How are you with fluids, babe?

22:30Abbey Clancy: I don't mind farm smells, put it that way. Really? When I go to the stables, I love the smell of my horse. It's basically shit, though, isn't it? You know, like when you're around a farm, it's shit, isn't it? It's not like dog mess. I don't like that smell, clearly. But I don't mind horse manure. The smells of the farm. Part and parcel of it all, isn't it? It makes me think... Of countryside. Of countryside and organic and fresh. That's weird, though. You know when they said about methane coming out of a cow? It's really bad for you, isn't it? It's really bad, yeah. Because you know when you're in the countryside, you kind of breathe it all in and go, oh, the countryside.

23:10But that's full methane, isn't it, from cows? Yeah, it's a lot, isn't it? So it's probably not the best thing to do.

23:16Abbey Clancy: Yeah, but like a day's exposure, people haven't been around that for 40 years. Is that true that global warming is affected by cows farting? Yeah. I think it is. On a mass scale. On a mass scale. So if it's doing that to the planet, what's it doing to the farmer? If they're like farting all day in his face. All day in his face. So when they're cutting down the rainforest for more pastures, that's when you get worse. Because they're cutting down the trees to house the more cows on a mass level. And because you don't have the trees, then the air isn't filtered. Got you. So then that's when it comes detrimental.

23:56Amazing what trees do.

23:58Abbey Clancy: Are they like... Do they oxygenate the air? It's phenomenal. Isn't it amazing? There really is. There is a tree I want to show you later over there. It looks like Daniel's Sturridge celebration. Have you seen this tree? Is it really? Right there. It's stunning. Oh, I'm looking forward to that. It's doing proper... Yeah, I'll shine forward to that. God doesn't like Daniel's storage, this lad. I think my final question for you guys is, if in your new house you decide to get a few animals, like livestock kind of animals, would you ever, is it called lambing when you give birth to a little baby lamb?

24:26Would you ever do it yourselves? Because people do, don't they? They put their hand in and pull out the baby.

24:31Abbey Clancy: Well, I don't think they'd put the hand inside a sheep. The sheep would do it themselves, naturally. It's more cows that you can help. Like if they breach, you go in there and you tie the rope around the feet and bring them. I've seen it. I've seen it live because our friends live right next door to a dairy farm. So I've seen baby calves being born. Wow. I would feel like I'm not specialised enough to do that. Do you think? I want to adopt a pregnant cat, but Pete's really annoyed about it. So no. I just don't understand. She said to me, I really want this pregnant cat. I was like, that's eight cats.

25:08That is eight cats.

25:09Abbey Clancy: But you'd re-home the kittens. But just in the animal shelter where I've been volunteering, there was a cat and she had all her babies and she was just lying on her side and they were all feeding off her and it was just absolutely gorgeous. And the kittens are already re-homed, but the mum isn't. I grew up with cats and kittens. My best mate, Greg, he had a cat called Ivid. It was just consistently having litters. That's not good. They should have spayed it because it's such a toll on a little cat's body. I reckon she had about three or four litters, yeah. And we watched them being born a couple of times.

25:45We came home from school and just sat there, didn't turn the telly on and just watched cats give birth.

25:50Abbey Clancy: And then we watched it eat its own afterbirth. They'd lick it all, yeah. Oh, Jesus. I was like, fucking hell, it's disgusting. And I just got off and walked home. No, but they would... No, but it gives it... It's full of nutrients. That's why they're attracted to eat it. And then it gives them more power to feed the babies do you think we should be eating after birth then like do you know if it's a natural thing i know some people do and they put them in tablet form as well but do you think do you believe in that is that is that is that true i don't know the science behind it really it was something i never did if animals do it it probably i do know you're supposed to when you give birth now keep the umbilical cord because they can make stem cells from it so if there was any ever anything seriously wrong with your baby right they could use those stem cells even like when the teeth fall out you can get them changed into they can get them you can use those for stem cell as well blimey but this is a kind of relative relatively newish technology so it wasn't really that prevalent when we gave birth um but yeah it fascinates me on that yeah it's interesting um i just gotta do this last one from jenna uh she's just how i love the pod read a stat the other day men who get called daddy in bed experience a 300 % spike in testosterone read that today and I thought have you guys thoughts well call me because I'm I'm lacking in testosterone that's it from now on I don't even call my own dad daddy so I've never understood 300 % actually it's 100 % or nothing like how a 300 % spike that's a fucking surge that's a surge that's three times what there's no such thing is 300 % that's why I can't get my head around but apparently it's true that's that's bloody get that on get that on chat GPT let me let me ask it no like 300 % would be what my phone's dead you can't have 300 % yeah but I suppose if you look at it say it's ask chat GPT yeah say it's 100 whatever a 300 % one would be I don't know three times 100 % what am I saying can you have a 300 % increase in testosterone.

28:07Yes, but it depends on what baseline. Gee, imagine what baseline you're comparing to and how the increase happens.

28:13Abbey Clancy: Like getting called daddy in bed. I'm going to add that in, see what it says. Yeah, but it might be something that excites a man that so much so makes a surge that he's entire... Well, yeah, but I think verbals can make, you know, not necessarily daddy. You're talking about horniness and... testosterone levels are two completely different things because testosterone doesn't only make you no it doesn't only do that it makes you stronger or like you know more aggressive or gives you hair yeah there's lots of different reasons testosterone but in that moment it's a sexual i don't say how i can't see how a verbal word would do anything to your heart it's saying here i said can you get it by being called daddy in bed so it's not in any meaningful biological way it can absolutely create arousal confidence and dominant feelings but sexual arousal can only cause a small temporary testosterone fluctuation, small so it's a small dopamine hit when you get called daddy we've all learned today there you go you know what you've got to do tonight baby on that note daddy's got to go get your kids from school anyway yeah We'll see you next time.

29:32Abbey Clancy: Bye. Ask me anything. Quick question.

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