Blind Date Waxing Nightmare, Turkey Pillows & The Brutal Family Roast!

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0:44No sleep study required. Prescribed online, shipped to your door. ExciteOSA at springsleep.com slash sleep20. Code sleep20 for 20 % off. Excite OSA is an FDA-cleared, prescription-only device for primary snoring and mild obstructive sleep apnea. Not for everyone. Individual results vary. Risks and benefits at springsleep.com. Losing weight can feel like a roller coaster, full of ups, downs, and being thrown for loops, like when someone brings donuts into the office, or your kid's dino nuggets start giving you that look again. That's why there's Noom. They combine GLP-1s to quiet the food noise with healthy habits that help you keep it quiet, even if you get off the meds.

1:32Their program is designed to make weight loss a smooth ride, helping you understand what drives you, so you can build better habits to not just lose weight, but keep it off. Noom. Lose for keeps. Get started at Noom.com. Not all customers will clinically qualify for medications. Individual results may vary. Hi, everyone. It's Katie Couric. And on my podcast, Next Question, we love stories about how women are taking control of their lives. They are increasingly leading financial decisions in their households. Yet many say they don't feel fully prepared for the long-term financial choices ahead.

2:10Real confidence comes from knowing your financial future is protected whatever happens. Pacific Life has helped generations protect what matters today and prepare for tomorrow with life insurance and lifetime income solutions. It's a promise Pacific Life has kept for nearly 160 years so its customers can keep theirs. Ask a financial professional about how Pacific Life can help you create a more confident financial future. Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska, and in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.

2:51My mate set me off on a blind date. She's one of the estheticians at the local waxing clinic. So she's seen it all before? She's only ever seen me horizontal with my legs akimbo. Flaps out to the wind. You know Bambi got the dog minders' dog pregnant? Yeah. I actually think they're Ralph's babies. Can't do this again. Ralph's getting away with it, murder. Hello, Pete, Ab and Sam. I need your help here. A few months ago, my sister gave us a painting. and Is that me? Is that your ringtone? Is that a ringtone? Is that a playlist?

3:29Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch with me, Abbey Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch. We've got two special guests today. Hello, Sam. You might have heard me before. I like typing stuff up and seeing if we're right or wrong. And I've got Chris behind me as well. I don't know if you can hear him. Hello. So, yeah, unfortunately, Gaz is away, isn't he? I know, again? Where's Ophelia's fog? Like, it's not half term yet. Go away in holidays. Yeah, well. Where is he now? I think he's gone to Spain. I think he's flying back today. But yeah, he just went off. So he's gallivanting in his white linens and black on his side.

4:02I can only imagine. Those white linens must be, he must be loving it. Yeah. I could just picture him on the beach with his like gold chain, oil, his little ballies. I don't know if he wears ballies. Sunning himself. He's got them shades as well, hasn't he? Have you seen it all throughout summer? He just has those black shades that are completely tinted back. Sexy beast. Yeah, exactly. Imagine just lying, lying by the pool. Get the linens on for dinner. Like a cooked turkey, stewing in the sun. How are you doing, babe? I'm all right. We've just come back from Norway. How was it? I've heard. Oh, my God.

4:33I keep saying that on the other one. What? Just reminds me of someone saying no way in a Geordie accent. Norway. I don't say Norway like that. You know what I mean? Norway. You don't say Norway. What did you say, Salem? Norway. Norway, man. Norway. It was phenomenal. Yeah, where'd you go? So we went to the fjords. So one of our good friends, Henning and Fiona, they've got a house there right on the fjords and it's literally panoramic views of the lakes and it's like a 200-year-old cabin. and we went with our my cousin carl and his wife nat and uh another couple of their friends and it was just phenomenal nice we went lobster fishing we went hiking we but basically we ate and drank and ate and drank so we're still recovering from that aren't we it's like recovery um what a beautiful place to be just so relaxing like we're on the fjords and just you know every different kind of weather just changes on the fjords you know and well see I went to Sonial I can't pronounce it Sonial FC FC yeah I met Tor Andre Flo who's a massive hero of mine Eric Bakker and some legends who play for the club which is you know pretty boring for you but the facilities were unbelievable like I really really enjoyed it oh I honestly and the kit man was a Liverpool fan oh really and he'd come out but you literally couldn't understand he was like and i was like and the guys are like we're norwegian and we can't understand them and he come out in the liverpool shirt and it was the facilities there yeah and like the history of the club and generations so one of the players who's currently the manager played there his dad played there when he was a little boy and managed it it was just fab wasn't it and i have to say lobster fishing was i was just about to ask about actually how do you how do you catch a lobster So how do you fish?

6:35It's actually, I say we went lobster fishing. We watched someone lobster fish, if I'm being totally honest. I mean, Henning, you put the cages down. Lobster pots. Maybe sometimes like two days before even. And they go down and then there's like bait in a cage and a lobster goes in and then it kind of, they get trapped in there. If they don't get trapped, they can get out. Yeah, they can get out. It's like all humane. They have to do humane. I think I've heard that. Isn't there like a zip tie or something that dissolves underwater? Yeah, yeah. That's jogged a memory. And then once that's done, if they haven't collected it, say after three, four days, they can just zoom out.

7:08They can just get out. That's so true. It's nice that they do that. But it's close to like, a couple you pull up, they're empty. And that feeling when you pull them off and it's like, hello, the lobsters are there. There's fucking lobsters. It was just amazing. Like the whole weekend, like obviously the company, Henning is phenomenal. Fiona's phenomenal. And obviously my cousin Carl and Nat. But all we did was drink wine. Henning was calling it bitch juice. Really? No, champagne's bitch diesel, isn't it? Well, I don't turn into a bitch on champagne. No, I don't know. It's a nice way of saying, like, it's just a girl's drink.

7:47That's what he's saying. No, he wasn't calling it for that. You turn into a bitch? Yeah. No. No, when people get, like, white girl, is it? Yeah, white girl wasted, yeah. White wine wasted or whatever it is. or, you know, they say, like, I know a lot of men who say once my wife has a few glasses of rose or something, she turns. That's why he was calling it bitch juice. I've never heard of that one before. I thought I'd add it to the vocabulary. It was just like, we need to get some drinks for the girls. No. We're not called bitches, bitch. There's lots of people that do say that. Let's get these bitches lubricated.

8:20Yeah, that's the way I take it. No, because if you turn after a few, which I don't, I'm not an angry drunk. Not really. You have done in the past, but not often. No, that was one time when I drank on antibiotics and you're not supposed to. It turned into a psychopath. I had zero recollection of it the next day. Really? And then the doctor was like, you drank on them? You're not supposed to do that. And that can happen. Oh, wow. I had a full, full blackout. Oh, my God. That was a mad one, that. People as well had to call the cops. Oh, my God. That was insane. No, you went. P, we saw you had the pillow on your head as well.

8:52Oh, yeah. Was it called again? I can't remember. It's called Yosich Pillow. That's it. That was embarrassing. It was embarrassing for you, wasn't it? Yes. So have you said, please, if you Google the ostrich pillow, if you haven't seen it before, it's like, I don't know, it's like you've stuffed a big turkey on your head. It's a bizarre thing, but it was actually very comfortable, but you couldn't, I mean, I couldn't have, it was like, take it off now. I was going to give you a bit of an ick, where you like, get out of the fort. Give me an ick, yeah. Yeah. You don't often give me the ick? Didn't I give you, yeah.

9:20No, my God, yeah. I think you're a great people. But just going back to the fjords, it was, you know, to be in nature it's like he had so many fruit farms they grew grapes apples pears beetroot carrots potatoes so every night the meal was literally from land to table you know no no shit every it was just fab wasn't it p like you know i learned so much we called the lobsters and um we put them in the big pot and then you have this white crusty bread so these slight slice the crusty bread, you pick your lobster out of the thing, put it on the bread, loads of homemade salted butter, then you put the lobster on, then dill out the garden, and then they have these squeezy mayonnaise like in a metal kind of toothpaste tube, and then the mayo.

10:14It's like a posh lobster sandwich. Oh, wow. Really? It was just phenomenal. That sounds lovely. He made us a stew. Oh, wow. With all his veg, which, you know, straight up my street, because obviously in our new house, we've got all our vegetable garden and everything. So he did teach me a lot, which I thought was great. You know, all different things we can grow. Because I'd like to do my own wine. Yeah, that'd be nice. Yeah, yeah. You have the grapes, don't you, for it? Yeah, we have grapes. At the moment, I think they're not quite enough. So I think we'd probably be like, we won't be mass production.

10:49It'll be just potentially one a month on our table. Exactly. a little inch we drank 20 bottles of wine one night between 10 of us how bad is that because we had no we had no um i thought i thought i could party but these norwegians bloody hell you know we get up i'd get out the shower and the girls would be on the bitch juice already half 10 i was like oh my god are you joking i think it's kind of just uh it's like Drink, fish, hunt. Yeah. Eat. And repeat. Drink, fish, hunt, eat. That sounds perfect. Yeah, no, it was just amazing. And a couple of days without the kids, which is, I cried on the first night.

11:30But after that, I was just like, this is just nice to be together, wasn't it? And do different things. Now, walking through these beautiful forests and waterfalls everywhere, like it was magnificent. Nice to be somewhere different. It must have been silent as well, like no cars, no motorways, no nothing. just a complete piece. Nothing. It's just these log cabins dotted around this mountain kind of terrain. And the fjords, we got in the fjords. Oh, nice. I had a swim in there in the morning. Oh, wow. Ice cold, I'm assuming. Ice cold. And then in Hennings, he's got this big set up with all saunas.

12:04Yeah. And hot tubs. So we got in the fjords, had a hot dog, got in the hot tub, champagne. It's great to go out. Yeah. Yeah, saunas and then cook the lobster and it's amazing. Perfect. Fantastic, wasn't it? Would you, did you, was there any wines from the trip or any wines recently that you've got for me?

12:29Losing weight can feel like a roller coaster, full of ups, downs and being thrown for loops, like when someone brings donuts into the office or your kids' dino nuggets start giving you that look again. That's why there's Noom. They combine GLP-1s to quiet the food noise with healthy habits that help you keep it quiet, even if you get off the meds. Their program is designed to make weight loss a smooth ride, helping you understand what drives you, so you can build better habits to not just lose weight, but keep it off. Noom. Lose for keeps. Get started at Noom.com. Not all customers will clinically qualify for medications.

13:06Individual results may vary. Hi, everyone. It's Katie Couric. And on my podcast, Next Question, we love stories about how women are taking control of their lives. They are increasingly leading financial decisions in their households. Yet many say they don't feel fully prepared for the long-term financial choices ahead. Real confidence comes from knowing your financial future is protected whatever happens. Pacific Life has helped generations protect what matters today and prepare for tomorrow with life insurance and lifetime income solutions. It's a promise Pacific Life has kept for nearly 160 years so its customers can keep theirs.

13:50Ask a financial professional about how Pacific Life can help you create a more confident financial future. Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska, and in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.

14:09I've just got a weekly wine and it has to stop, you know, ready for bed. And Pete's been out all day golfing and just brings all his golf mates back again. And we haven't even got a chair in this new house because we're in this rental currently. and we've got a sofa, a dining table and nothing else in the kitchen. Just about 20 men standing up. Doors open, freezing. Yeah, so that has to stop. Because I had a hangover because of you. You did. I also had one because of me. You got one for me, sister? Well, yeah, my weekly one would just be like, I think you do, I mean, actually this weekend you were much better than normal.

14:54But it's only because you have to be. But on a hangover, you're just completely useless. Yeah. You're so useless though. Like no one's good, are they? But you are... I can't move. You literally say to me, I just can't do that. And I went, well, it's like, what you got to do is come downstairs. I can't. Do you feel your hangovers have got worse as you've got older? Yes. Like they take longer and longer. It's just like no sleep. I just can't do it. It's not good. drinking because we skipped dinner and then i thought it's always that one isn't it so i'm gonna get we didn't eat it's the four thousand beverages oh we skipped dinner didn't we no it could have been that but you skipped there and didn't have four thousand beverages you've been fine no i thought i thought oh my god i need to just get up and i thought i'm gonna be healthy my lemon water my sardines with all my i went to get some tomatoes from my new house and my vegetable patch.

15:48So I'll do that. Tomatoes, sardines at one mouthful and I was like, this is not going to work. So another weekly wine for me. I need a kebab. Another weekly wine for me is just sardines. Just all I hear now. What's the benefits of sardines? Well, it's like a bit of a thing on Instagram and they've just got health. I knew you'd be saying to Instagram. I know. I know. I hate, I hate even saying that but it's like, it's like nature's Botox. It lowers cholesterol. I knew it'd be something like that. It's full of omegas for your brain, brain food, oils your joints. Is there real serious benefits for...

16:24Something that was our birds need. But I thought, this isn't it. It's hitting the spark, Pete. Can you get me a kebab? And I had a kebab for breakfast. I had to discuss it. Yeah, so she's got all sardines and some tomatoes fresh from the garden. And I got her donna for lunch. Nice, nice. What's that with all the trimmings, you know, all the sauce? You're such a tramp, aren't you? I don't think that's Botox, natural Botox. No, I just completely undid all of my good habits. But anyway, it's got to be done every now and then. Got to be done. But we are on the health wagon now. Oh yeah, 100%. Nice.

16:56Especially the day after. We're half time coming up. We need to. This is going to be fun-filled kids activities. We are. Gym. Okay, we've got some audience ones. Would you like to do it? Okay, this one's from Jesse. Hey, Ab's Pedro and Lil G. Lil G. Little S because bloody Gaz is on the beach. Exactly. I love you guys and love the pod. I'm desperate to get this wine off my chest that has happened since moving into a flat share in London with one of my best friends. Not sure if she's always been like this or I've just never noticed because I've never lived with her before, but she narrates her own actions around the house like a nature documentary constantly.

17:38Right, just going to pop the washing on. I'm heading up for a shower now. Just going out there to put the kettle on. Girl, I don't need a running order. I'm not traffic control. The worst bit is, if I don't acknowledge each announcement, she'll stand a bit closer and say it again until I confirm that I've heard her. She thinks I'm not listening when I'm in fact listening to all of it. Help us this throughout. Any advice, Jessie? God, that would be in a way. Just going to do this, just going to do that. I do that, though. You're just a mute. You don't listen or talk. I don't listen or talk. I think I get all my talking out here and go home and go, fucking hell.

18:19It's going to be quiet now. My son, Johnny, is exactly like you. Johnny, no reply. Johnny, no reply. That's you. So that was my weekly one, another weekly one for you. That lying in bed, screaming kids' names. I can't do it, baby, anymore. And it goes, I want to cuddles. I want to cuddles. Oh, Mark, do you remember we were trying to get a film on? Let's get all the kids in bed and watch a film. And none of them were listening. but instead of going to the child, you just shout each child as loud as you possibly could. But I'm literally, I'm literally right next to her. Oh my God. Just right in your ear.

18:54That was a lot. Stacey does that narrating thing as well, doesn't she? Our friends chasing Stacey. I'm doing it because you said my stories are too slow. So when you're telling Stacey a story, she's like that. Like following your mouth, like saying your words to you. Oh, wow. it's and i'm like you stop that and then she she says oh god everyone tells me i do that she goes tell me a story yeah she does like if i tell you a story about when we used to go she's just like and you're like stop i think uh i think the worst thing here is it's asking them to repeat it back to you and make sure you've understood i think i could deal here with the right i'm just going to pop the washing on but i couldn't deal with saying oh have you heard me have you listened that's one step too far yeah yeah that's good but there is also i feel like as worse housemates to live with.

19:42I think it's quite cute. What if you're doing chores? There's plenty of them. I'd sit there and do nothing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Do you want to read one? Yeah. Okay. Hi, guys. Love the pod. Right. This is so mortifying. The lesbian dating pool around me is very limited. So I've been finding it hard to vibe with any potential connections. I was thinking about this yesterday, actually. What, lesbian connections? I don't know, lesbian connections. But it's like, just going out with your friend. it'd be so much easier oh yeah far easier because you've got so much more in common 100 % I talk about this all the time but I don't want to like shag Kaz well I said to say about my she is fit no I wouldn't let me know if you do no no no but it's like you would you would you would have so much fun being in a relationship with your best friend like if I was going out Lucy, Kaz.

20:40Intunity feelings. Like, you know, just no energy. What makes you tick? Yeah. She'd buy me presents that I actually like. Yeah. She'd listen to me. I always think that. We talked about this before, didn't we? But, you know, miss my birthday. No worries, mate. Get me next year. No problem. Valentine's? I'll not ask, but anyway. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, go on. I'll take you out for dinner. Yeah, let's do something. Like, you know, it would be a fancy game of golf. Let's go to the 30. Just they're my, what I enjoy doing or whatever. So what do you actually enjoy with me then? No, I think it's a different scenario, isn't it?

21:14A completely different scenario. Just name things. Long country walks. I like going for dinner with you. I actually love spending time with you as well. I generally do. But what I'm saying is common interests. Things like, you know, if you want to look at some coving, you know, you take Kaz, you probably have a better time with her than me. You know, we're filming this documentary at the moment. yeah it's obviously been announced on amazon coming out later in the year we did a scene the other day in the new house and bearing in mind like half the crew are men but most of them are men so i'm like trying to sort this paint color out and it's a big thing like the whole house is going to be painted and people's like this fucking show is going to be riveting we're literally watching paint right here all the cameramen are yawning i'm like unreal we had two camera men and like the producer and Ab and Joe who's doing the house Joe from Tile House there's two three sets of colours on the wall he thought they were all the same colour which are all the same colour right yeah it was like like this for like 40 minutes we were all watching and I was just looking around these people are filming this and it was the paint was drying on the wall quite literally watching paint dry we were actually watching paint dry Can I believe it?

22:35Yeah. It was unbelievable. Yeah, but it's so like, it's so hard doing the house on your own. No, but I... Obviously, Jo is helping me. Like, Jo's, you know, she's got the exact same taste as me and we're bringing this house back to its natural beauty and restoring it. And she's the only one who's interested. Like, Pete comes in, starts yawning. Then I start crying. I like, there's certain things, I think certain things like, the amount of time it takes for the wall colour is what I don't get I mean I know it's a big decision but you know we go in there and we have to go like what bang bang bang which one is it it's that one one of the producers as well Charlotte I was like she was there that day and she was so interested in it and I was like can Charlotte just come like front of camera and I can just pretend she's my friend and like looking at the pink she's like that behind the camera number two number two anyway go on lesbian dating scene oh god yeah so sorry so she's struggling with it she set me up on a my mate recently set me up on a blind date I spent the whole evening thinking she seems really familiar lovely girl we gone great I just couldn't place her halfway through the mains it hit me she's one of the estheticians so she's an aesthetic doctor basically an aesthetic doctor so that's like Botox all that palaver okay which I need At the, my local...

23:58Actually, do I need it after all these sardines? No, it's natural, babe. You don't need that. Love's delightful. Love's... Yes, she is one of those things. At the local waxing clinic. Oh, no. So she's seen it all before? She did not recognise me because she's only ever seen me horizontal with my legs akimbo. Flaps out to the wind. It's the quote. I told my mate after, did she know that this woman had waxed me before? And she did. So I guess my wine is for her. But now I'm not sure what to do. The day went really well, but it was weird knowing this woman has only seen my fufu whilst we're sharing a tiramisu.

24:39Whatever happens, either way. My next appointment is going to be strange. Love you, Guy Jade. Well, she's going to see it at one stage, isn't she? I think so, yeah. I don't think it's a big deal. We've all got them. Yeah, I think that's an icebreaker. I think, you know, like you say, it's potentially you're going to say anyway, right? It's out the way. Yeah, it's out the way. Yeah, and they'll have that rapport and connection as well from, you know, their appointments and stuff like that. Yeah, and just think you may never need to spend money on waxing again. Exactly. Can you give me a free...

25:11Yeah, but I suppose if she goes, if they have got a bit of sexual chemistry, she goes to an ex-waxing appointment, one thing might lead to another. Oh, Jesus. Oh, no. Right now? Yeah. It's been approved, Pete. I'm not approved. David's waxing doesn't come with a happy ending does it definitely not I've just got a weekly wine and it has to stop you know ready for bed and Pete's been out all day golfing and just brings all his golf mates back again and we haven't even got a chair in this new house because we're in this rental currently and we've got a sofa a dining table and nothing else in the kitchen just about 20 men standing up doors open freezing yeah so that has to stop because I had a hangover because of you you did I also had one because of me you got one for me sister?

26:08well yeah my weekly one would just be like I think you do I mean actually this weekend you were much better than normal but only because you have to be but on a hangover you're just completely useless yeah you're so useless like no one's good are they but you are i can't move you literally say to me i just can't do that and i went well it's like what you gotta do is come downstairs i can't do you feel your hangovers have got worse as you've got older yeah they take longer and longer it's just like no sleep i just can't do it it's not good drinking because we skipped dinner and then i thought it's always that one isn't it we didn't eat 4 ,000 beverages oh we skipped dinner didn't we you skipped dinner didn't have 4 ,000 beverages you'd have been fine no I thought I thought oh my god I need to just get up and I thought I'm going to be healthy my lemon water my sardines I went to get some tomatoes from my new house and my vegetable patch so I did that tomatoes sardines I had one mouthful and I was like this is not going to work It's another weekly wine for me.

27:18I need a kebab. Another weekly wine for me is just sardines. Oh, they're here now. What's the benefits of sardines? Well, it's like a bit of a thing on Instagram. Is it? They've just got health. I knew you'd be saying to Instagram. I know. I know. I hate even saying that, but it's like nature's Botox. It lowers cholesterol. I knew it'd be something like that. It's full of omegas for your brain, brain food, oils your joints. is there real serious benefits for something that was our birds need now but i thought this isn't it and it's hitting the spot pete can you get me a kebab and i had a kebab for breakfast i just got so well she's got all sardines and um some tomatoes fresh from garden and i got a donna for lunch nice nice was that with all the trimmings you know all the sauce such a tramp aren't i don't think that's botox natural botox no i just completely undid all of my good habits.

28:14But anyway, it's got to be done every now and then. It's got to be done. But we are on the health wagon now. Oh yeah, 100%. Nice. Especially the day after. The half term coming up, we need to. This is going to be fun-filled kids activities. We are. Gym. Okay, we've got some audience ones. Would you like to do it? Okay, this one's from Jesse. Hey, I'm Pedro and Lil G. Lil G. I'm going to have to say Lil G, Lil S, because bloody Gaz is on the beach. Exactly. I love you guys and love the pod. I'm desperate to get this wine off my chest that has happened since moving into a flat share in London with one of my best friends.

28:49Not sure if she's always been like this or I've just never noticed because I've never lived with her before. But she narrates her own actions around the house like a nature documentary constantly. Right, just going to pop the washing on. I'm heading up for a shower now. Just going out there to put the kettle on. Girl, I don't need to run an order. I'm not traffic control. The worst bit is If I don't acknowledge each announcement, she'll stand a bit closer and say it again until I confirm that I've heard her. She thinks I'm not listening when I'm in fact listening to all of it. Help us this throughout.

29:22Any advice, Jesse? God, that would be annoying. Just going to do this, just going to do that. I do that though. You don't, you're just a mute. You don't listen or talk. I don't listen or talk. I think I get all my talking out here and go home and go, fucking hell. She's going to be quiet now. My son, Johnny, is exactly like you. Johnny, no reply. Johnny, no reply. That's you. So that was my weekly one, another weekly one for you. That lying in bed, screaming kids' names. I can't do it, baby, anymore. And it goes, I want to cuddles. I want to cuddles. Oh, Mark, do you remember we were trying to get a film on?

30:01Let's get all the kids in bed and watch a film. And none of them were listening. But instead of going to the child, You just shout each child as loud as you possibly could. But I'm literally, I'm literally right next to her. Oh my God. Just right in your ear. That was a lot. Stacey does that narrating thing as well, doesn't she? Our friends chasing Stacey. I'm doing it because you said my stories are too slow. So when you're telling Stacey a story, she's like that. Like following your mouth, like saying your words to you. Oh, wow. it's and i'm like you stop that and then she she says oh god everyone tells me i do that she goes tell me a story yeah she does like if i tell you a story about when we used to go she's just like and you're like stop i think uh i think the worst thing here is it's asking them to repeat it back to you and make sure you've understood i think i could deal here with the right i'm just going to pop the washing on but i couldn't deal with saying oh have you heard me have you listened that's one step too far yeah yeah that's good but there is also i feel like as worse housemates to live with.

31:05I think it's quite cute. Well, if you're doing chores, there's plenty of them. I'd sit there and do nothing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Do you want to read one? Yeah. Okay. Hi, guys. Love the pod. Right. This is so mortifying. The lesbian dating pool around me is very limited. So I've been finding it hard to vibe with any potential connections. I was thinking about this yesterday, actually. What, lesbian connections? I don't know, lesbian connections. But it's like, just going out with your friend. it'd be so much easier oh yeah far easier because you've got so much more in common 100 % I talk about this all the time but I don't want to like shag Kaz well I said to say about my she is fit no I wouldn't let me know if you do no no no but it's like you would you would you would have so much fun being in a relationship with your best friend like if I was going out Lucy, Kaz.

32:03Intunity feelings. Like, you know, just no energy. What makes you tick? Yeah. She'd buy me presents that I actually like. Yeah. She'd listen to me. I always think that. We talked about this before, didn't we? But, you know, miss my birthday. No worries, mate. Get me next year. No problem. Valentine's? I'll not ask, mate, anyway. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, go on. I'll take you out for dinner. Yeah, let's do something. Like, you know, it would be a fancy game of golf. Let's go to the 30. Just they're my, what I enjoy doing or whatever. So what do you actually enjoy with me then? No, I think it's a different scenario, isn't it?

32:37A completely different scenario. Just name things. Long country walks. I like going for dinner with you. I actually love spending time with you as well. I generally do. But what I'm saying is common interests. Things like, you know, if you want to look at some coving, you know, you take Kaz, you probably have a better time with her than me. You know, we're filming this documentary at the moment. yeah it's obviously been announced on amazon coming out later in the year we did a scene the other day in the new house and bearing in mind like half the crew are men but most of them are men so i'm like trying to sort this paint color out and it's a big thing like the whole house is going to be painted and people's like this fucking show is going to be riveting we're literally watching paint right here all the cameramen are yawning i'm like unreal we had two camera men and like the producer and Ab and Joe who's doing the house Joe from Tile House there's two three sets of colours on the wall he thought they were all the same colour which are all the same colour right yeah it was like like this for like 40 minutes we were all watching and I was just looking around these people are filming this and it was the paint was drying on the wall quite literally watching paint dry we were actually watching paint dry Can you believe it?

33:58Yeah. It was unbelievable. Yeah, but it's so like, it's so hard doing the house on your own. No, but I... Obviously, Jo is helping me. Like, Jo's, you know, she's got the exact same taste as me and we're bringing this house back to its natural beauty and restoring it. And she's the only one who's interested. Like, Pete comes in, starts yawning. Then I start crying. I like, there's certain things, I think certain things like, the amount of time it takes for the wall colour is what i don't get i mean i know it's a big decision but you know we go in there and we have to go like what bang bang bang which one is it it's that one one of the producers as well charlotte i was like she was there that day and she was so interested in it and i was like can charlotte just come like front of camera and i can just pretend she's my friend and like looking at the pink she's like that behind the camera number two number two anyway go on lesbian dating scene oh god yeah so sorry so she's struggling with it she set me up on a my mate recently set me up on a blind date I spent the whole evening thinking she seems really familiar lovely girl we gone great I just couldn't place her halfway through the mains it hit me she's one of the estheticians so she's an aesthetic doctor basically an aesthetic doctor so that's like Botox all that palaver okay which I need At the, my local...

35:21Actually, do I need it after all these sardines? No, it's natural, baby. You don't need that. Love's delightful. Love's... Yes, she is one of those things. At the local waxing clinic. Oh, no. So she's seen it all before? She did not recognise me because she's only ever seen me horizontal with my legs akimbo. Flaps out to the wind. It's the quote. I told my mate after, did she know this woman had waxed me before and she did so i guess my wine is for her but now i'm not sure what to do the day went really well but it was weird knowing this woman has only received my fufu whilst we're sharing a tiramisu whatever happens my next appointment is going to be strange love you guy jade well she's gonna see it at one stage isn't she i think so yeah i don't think it's a big deal we've all got them yeah i i think that's an icebreaker i think you know like you you say it's potentially you're going to say anyway right um it's out the way yeah it's out the way yeah and they'll have that rapport and connection as well from you know their appointments and stuff like that you know just think you may never need to spend money on waxing again exactly can you give me a free yeah but i suppose if she goes if they have got a bit of sexual chemistry she goes to an ex-waxing Clint uh appointment one thing might lead to another oh jesus oh no Right now?

36:46Yeah. It's been prude, Pete. I'm not prude. Wexing doesn't come with a happy ending, does it? Definitely not. Might do now. Right, babe, we're in half term now. Do you know what? I'm actually really looking forward to this half term. Why? Yeah, because we've been so busy. Yeah. With the house, work, you know, just it feels like before this October half term, school's so busy, you know, all their clubs. So I'm really, really looking forward to spending time with the kids. Yeah. I always love that when I'm growing up, like half term, it's so nice just to spend some time with your family, chill out, relax.

37:20I know obviously sometimes you get homework and all that jazz, but overall you get to just do some great things, don't you? By day two, we'll be like, oh, let's get these fuckers back in school. Exactly. I feel like that's universal, universal. I'm looking forward to it, like at a moment, by the end of it, you're like, come on, just get back in there. It's a long one, this, two weeks we've got. Yeah, it's nice. I think that's just about enough. I think summer should be two weeks. Same thing, you know, rather than 10, whatever they get. I reckon two will be fine. Ten weeks off? It's ridiculous, isn't it?

37:48Even if you give us two, right? To go in for two and then give us another two. I think summer should be, they should finish. They finished first week in July. They should have July off and then go back in in August.

38:05That's a good point. I think football season starts, you know, let's just get back in the routine. What would you do? Like, say, half term, like when you were a kid, what were you doing? Is it better now? I know when I was a kid, half term wasn't like our kids half term or the current day half terms because kids think every day they need to be entertained. They need to be going to farms, amusement parks, this, that, shops to get toys. Like, I don't think I did anything. You know, thinking about it as well, I was just doing what my mum's activity for that day was. Yeah. So, okay, we're going to get the food shop in.

38:45We might, you know, visit a clothes shop. I might sit there while she has coffee with her mate. It's always the worst, right, for the super... When you're in a supermarket and she just walks past her friend, then you're just there in the frozen aisle for an hour. And you're like, oh, my God, can we just get out of here, please? There's a real social... I think that's gone as well. The supermarket social. Oh, no, I love the supermarket social. Yeah, I don't think there's enough of that anymore. That's why I hate them self-checkout tills, because I love having a little gab with the person on the tail.

39:13Yeah. I love it. But they love it, I reckon. You know, they're sitting there just scanning all day. Yeah. Someone comes in, especially the older ones, they're like, oh, how have you been? How's the kids? That's a nice interaction. Maybe some people's only interaction for the day as well. You know, they might be going to the shop just to be like, oh, you know, I want to have a nice chat. Well, imagine going there with your basket or whatever and then just that, you've done it all your life, especially the older generation. Exactly. Imagine getting to there and just ask them having to scan your own stuff.

39:44It's good, is it? No. And then they have to go home and spend time on their own again. They never work, them things. Every time I do it, it's like there's an unidentified object in the thing. I'm like, there isn't. Every single time I go. And they have to wait for assistance. Yeah. Bullshit. And then there's only like one assistant and like everyone is going off with the red flashing lights. And you just stood there like, you know. Do you know who's murder if you do more than two and there's a queue? more than two assistants and everyone looks at you like oh god I have no clue what they're doing P when you were like playing football and stuff I know obviously you're a little bit older but would you get time off during the year like would you have like a little half term or a little break or was you basically fell off not really no I think when it got to sort of later 15 14 and 15 still at school technically but in that half term you expected I was expected to go in with the youth team so like under 16s would be training every single day and I'd just go I'd have to well I'd want to go in but because it meant you're kind of playing a year above that's so cool but yeah I'd just go in every single day to Tottenham we put our kids in a lot of camps so they do football camp dance camp Sophia obviously doesn't stop for half term so she technically doesn't get a half term so she will still be Tennyson oh wow she's having a week off only at half term because she's got her GCSEs coming up oh wow so she works from home so she's having she'll continue with her tutors which is a bit tight but she wants to do it as well yeah of course but yeah I think I think they potentially at the moment kids do want to be entertained more certainly ours anyway yeah they definitely do they settle like for doing what we want to do no they kick off not kick off just it would be harder to deal with them.

41:35I think this half-term should be an iPad-free zone. Totally agree. Yeah. Wherever we go, we don't take them. No. Are you in charge of half-term, Abby? Are you the one heading up the plans or? Yeah. Yeah. Sophia's schedule's done. I've been, we're going to Portugal. Nice. For half-term. And I've got all the kids in camps. Nice. And then it'll just be walks on the beach and tennis and Lovely. Football. I've got a few days in China first. I've heard. Wow. Are you excited or are you nervous? Yeah, a little bit. A bit of both. Have you ever been? Never been. I've been to Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong.

42:17I would love to have gone, but it's half term, so I can't leave the kids at half term because there's four of them. It's too difficult. Of course. I really wanted to go with Ab and just sample China together, but it's just not been able to work. I sampled China on Friday. it's fine. Lucy and I were going to Pilates. I know I said to you I went, but I didn't. We sacked it off and sat outside the Chinese till 12, till it opened. Did she really? That's not a moment. That is outrageous. All right. No, because I took Liv to school. We were doing a private one-on-one and we were going to be late. So we were going to be half an hour late.

42:58So we were like, should we drive all the way back for half an hour? Or should we go to collect my friends got a store, number four boutique. So we're like, the shop opens at 10. So we just go to the shop, do a bit of shopping and then go for a Chinese. So we did an hour in Co's, closed shop number four and then we added Chinese. But it was the first time I've ever been able to get dim sum in that place. So I had my hambows, which I love. Shu Mai. What is your go-to Chinese order, Abby? Wonton soup. Yep. Cha su bao, hambows. shumai bok choy and then I'll have a I like a duck no we'll probably go I'll probably go to China and there'll be none of that no no just an English Chinese but I'm looking forward to starting with the food out there doing something completely different yeah I've got to go from Shanghai to get a train I'm working with Cherry the car brand yep and they're taking me out there so I'm so upset I'm so upset I can't go but it's like I have to be with the kids yeah listen it'll be a great experience a complete culture shock as well yeah something completely different and I'm looking forward to it you know what's difficult after what we've got four children all different age ranges boys girls interests yeah no common interest difficult to navigate that doing one thing I know well Sophia's 15 and she's doing her thing Lib and Johnny like the same thing yeah she loves singing and dancing and so does Johnny and then Jack just wants to do footy.

44:34More really in general or... Yeah. Oh yeah, tough one. That sounds like a scenario where someone's always going to lose out. They're not going to really be doing what they want to do. Many may not lose out. Well, you're not going to even be there. I've put them in football camp. Yeah. Doesn't start till Tuesday. I've got a day with them. Oh my God. A whole day. A whole day. A whole day. No, I'm joking. We'll do something nice Monday. Yeah. Yeah. Is there an activity that all four would agree on? You know, we put a swing on the tree in the new house. And this swing had been in the garage of our old house for 12 years.

45:11And it never managed its way up. So it's a really, really long rope swing with sea. And obviously it goes so high. They all love it. They played on it for four hours. Oh, wow. In the garden. All together. All together. You can't complain with that. No, it was so nice. And then we pay that 50-50, is it? 40-40. 40-40. That's where I smashed my phone. I thought I was running to get back to base and it was a wall and I thought, I can jump over this wall, miss the wall, just cut all my legs and smash my phone. You know when it's so frantic, like 40-40, you've got to get back to base, right? Do you know that game?

45:55I was about to ask, how do you play? You know, you've got the tree and you have to get back to base. oh yes yeah so many different names isn't it like Bulldog or something whatever so I fell over this thing and I could see obviously the the itter so I jumped I jumped over her oh wow and I I looked back and I thought went to bass I thought do I do bass do I help her very chivalrous I went for bass yeah you got to it's Emise Mastonari as soon as I was in I came straight back yeah it was so bizarre That was literally cut to shreds, wasn't it? You were. I felt guilty for getting based on it. Those legs grazed and I smashed my bloody phone.

46:35Yeah. Anyway. Apologies. That activity, the swing, was a game changer. That one's good. We do play as a family. Yeah. I'm going to take them. So we've been doing like a lot of cooking together at home with all our veg from the garden. Oh, nice. So I'd like to do a nice day over there with the kids. And Matt, the gardener, he's been at the house for 16 years. He's just like a fountain of knowledge. he knows everything um and he when we when we got the house he was like what's your favorite veg and he's planted it all so i'd like to go with the kids pick some veg and then make some nice food i think every nice day i think we're in this house obviously got like a nice garden and growing our own stuff and i think there'll be things to do yeah around was what we tried to make the house a place where we can be entertained there yeah yeah we're going to um a donkey sanctuary later oh nice to look at some little donkeys we can adopt oh really yeah because we've got the back area where there's like there was like these compost heaps and the previous owners made them and they're all kind of big wooden beams and i want to so that set up those sections are already there so I want to change them into chicken coops in a little stable that would be really nice so we're going to have a little look later really sounds yeah it sounds really good the donkeys are back then looks that way I want to get those two little mini goats they're gorgeous do you?

48:04should we get in there first? yeah we haven't even got running water there currently and we're already looking at donkeys but never mind so is there a chance you bring one back today or is it going to you're just having a look for the future? have you ever been into a shop without bound something? no There you go. Exactly. You haven't. I know that. All right, let me get into some of the lies that parents tell you through for half-term, right? Yeah. The ice cream van only plays music when it's out of ice cream. That's a classic. That's a good one. That's a classic. I've heard the ice cream one in our road.

48:34Have you? Yeah. The car won't physically start until everyone's puckled in. Yeah, that's what I say. I say that. I say that. We can't go until that beeping's stopped. The TV only works when it's raining outside. I haven't heard that one before, but I feel like... I like that. That could be good. I think they're onto us now. I think they've got... I think they know that doesn't work. Mum doesn't know how to use TV in our house. No. So difficult. These snacks are too spicy for children. Ours would not fall for that. No. A penguin lives behind the fridge and gets angry if you leave the door open.

49:10I like the sound of that one. I like that one. Mum's allergic to soft play. that's a scandal I absolutely hate those places allergic so we can't go that's superb it's against the law to own more than two dogs in this village fuck me I should have had that one yeah you missed out there you should have had that one you know Bambi got the dog minder's dog pregnant we talked about this yeah so Bambi got Catherine's dog which is a sausage dog pregnant no and they've had five puppies and every day she's sending me a picture you've got to have one she knows what she's doing I really want one. Like, I think...

49:48Why? I actually think they're Ralph's babies. They look more like Ralph to me. So you think it could have been Ralph, not Bambi? Well, we ended up getting Bambi done the other day because we thought we can't do this again. Ralph's getting away with it, weren't I? Yeah, but I just... The thought of having one of these little puppies, that's Bambi or Ralph's baby. You've got to bring a sibling along as well, right? Yeah, I would love that, but... Sorry, Pete. He's saying no. Pete say no with the that big yeah I guess they won't if it's Bambi's quite small and a sausage dog I'm assuming was quite small so it won't won't grow too tall right no no if anyone wants one yeah oh no not a dog man Chris love dogs just can't really have one really gotta give it the love the attention the time that's what I say yeah lying makes your ears go red brown tongue we say no I say you have a black tongue if you lie if they tell me Let me see your tongue.

50:46Black. Pulling a face if the wind's blowing means you'll get stuck like that. I had that a lot at school. I had that. Like primary school, I remember being told that all the time. All the time. All the time. Well, listen, good luck, Half Turn. I think we'll have a nice one, nice and chilled this time. Yeah, I do. I'm looking forward to it, actually, bizarrely. I'm looking forward to it. Quite after I don't. What? Well, it's just like they're long, aren't they, sometimes? No, they are long, but it'll be nice, you know. I think it will be. Out, active. I want to do productive things with the children.

51:16We're doing a dry half term as well. Let's see how long that lasts. Yeah. Good luck with that. Well, we'll try. Do you think you'll make it all the way through? No. Yeah. I'll be honest with you, I'm not very hopeful. Do you actually want to try and do that? I do, yeah. The whole half term? Yes. Will you try and do that with me? Absolutely. Let's have a shake on it, right? And we'll give some money to charity. Yeah? One of us. We'll give it to my animal rescue. Well, speaking of which, actually before we agree to this um the results were in from whether it was liz or no liz oh yeah so people say that abby is right and you said liz apparently that's what people said can i just say that's bullshit the listeners there no i mean i have to say absolutely outrageous for myself i i have to agree with you i don't think you said it i think you said it's but you know the audience It doesn't sound like Liz.

52:12Say it. Liz.

52:18Okay, so that 100 quid can go to Animal Rescue Algarve, along with this one that I'm going to lose. You're 100 % losing this. Okay, 100 quid. Animal Rescue. Yeah. I'd just like to do it. The whole half term, no drinks. Can you do that? No chance. But you're going to, is that including China? Yeah. Teal. Okay. We'll have to get John to police that one. I might give him 50 and save myself 50. So is that better? Is it whoever cracks first or have both of you got to go the whole way through? How does that work? No, we both have to go all the way through. Nice. I think it'd be nice. When I was living there in Portugal, I was up 5K, walks every day with the dogs, go in the gym, beautiful, fresh food.

53:04It's just good for your body. Like we're getting older now. We need to... It would be better for the children as well. Even that, you know, couple of glasses of wine at dinner, that mild headache in the mornings. Yeah. There's no need for it. No. You'd be better, I think, all round. Yeah. Yeah. It's time and a place, isn't it? Mm-hmm. Well, agony abs, if you'd like me to go for it. Hi, Cardi P. Clancy and Gaz. Long-time listener, first time agony abber. Despite being a self-sufficient woman at the age of 41 who's cooked for nearly three decades, my mother has recently got out got into this bad habit of reviewing my cooking like she's on TV out loud to the table and it's never to say nice things mmm it's dry but she tried she tried shove that turkey firmly up your giblets mother last Sunday she took a bite out of my lasagna put her fork down slowly like a coroner and said you can taste the effort oh that's nice which is the single most devastating feedback I've ever received.

54:07Oh, I thought that's good. But she hasn't said, oh, it's lovely, darling. She's gone, oh, I can taste the effort there. I'd take that as a convent. It's like my uncle, God bless him, he had dementia. He's passed away now. But he used to come to our house and do a roast. It's phenomenal, yes. And I'd be like, he'd be like, oh, it's dead in this hotel, isn't it? And I was like, no, do you eat to my house? and then I'd give him his dinner and I'd be like, do you like that? I won't be coming back to this restaurant again. Food. Like that. Honestly, yeah. Wow. I'd make him a roast. No, what he said to me was the food was nice but the atmosphere was non-existent.

54:54He went, I've really enjoyed my dinner but this atmosphere's dead, isn't it? Oh yeah, he was like, I don't know how they make the money here with this food and this atmosphere. So funny. It's nice inside and stuff, but, you know, she's dead. Dead. I think that's one thing our house is not. It's chaotic, isn't it? Chaotic. Well, you must think, if you ate at a restaurant and you were the only people in there, you would think it was dead? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, how did she tell her mum to cut it out? I think she should tell her, she's mum, right? Yeah. Could you stop having a go at my food?

55:28Yeah. Say something nice next time, please. No, she should just say, if you don't like it, don't eat it and don't come back. Yeah. You can't really say that. no especially if it's in front of the whole family as well i'm not too sure but like i couldn't deal with that if i'd cooked like someone a nice meal or a whole family or something and they've just gone yeah you can taste the effort or it's a bit dry i wouldn't be happy i think if you if you go around to someone's house to eat surely it's just basic manners to say it's beautiful and eat the whole thing yeah well sometimes if you leave it i remember going around to some of our mates houses You can do that.

56:01I remember going to... You can't leave it, can you? There was a girl and I was in school and Catherine, I was like, didn't eat. And it was Catherine, went for a play date and I didn't eat all the day. And she was like, you can't do that. You have to eat it all or my nan will be really offended. So I had to eat it all. But I was told that were you. I was told that you make sure you eat that dinner that's been prepared for you. It does look rude, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I know. I really want to make a pie. Got it in my head. You did that before? and it was amazing. I made it for my dad because Sue won't let him have pies.

56:32I thought it wasn't for me. He made two, but I was just there. Yeah. Sue won't let him have pies because he loves, my dad puts a piece of pie on bread and eats it as a sandwich. No. Pie sandwich. Yeah, literally. That sounds nice though. But obviously Sue's like, you know, you need to keep your weight down, blah, blah, blah. So he's not allowed pies. So I made him a steak and Guinness pie. Do you remember? That sounds brilliant. I'm going to make that. I'm a huge fan of like pie and mash so am I East End pie and mash you don't get mash though you get chips I do like when it's not the proper East End ones if it's a pie and mash on the pie and mash the liquor is unbelievable it's amazing David Beckham goes to a pie shop I always see him I'd like to go or Tony's I know Tony Tony's in Waltham Abbey do they do Tony's as well that's right I know Tony I know the guys oh do you yeah yeah where you take me there they do it yeah no problem for you he's got one because he does it in West Ham as well.

57:29Mushy peas. It's always happening when I go to West Ham. It always, Tony, they always come in. Mmm. So nice. Have you not had it before? No. With the liquor? What's the liquor gravy? It's like, yeah, the liquor gravy, yeah. It's a bit like a parsley kind of like sauce, isn't it? It's so nice. You can get jelly deals, which I don't think you'd like. You know, we were talking about Bisto gravy. Yeah. Opposed to... The posh one, whatever. The real one, like the meat from, the juice from the meat and... Stark and blah, blah, blah. I saw an interview at Victoria Beckham. She has Bisto. She likes Bisto as well.

58:05Wow. There you go, man. There you go. There you go. Can't beat it. I reckon the Queen has Bisto. Do you reckon? I reckon so. You can't really go wrong, can you? Everyone has, I reckon they might have elements of the gravy juice with Bisto. The meat juice, you mean? Meat juice. Sorry, what did I say? Gravy juice. I put meat bitch juice into that one. That's what I didn't like. Do you like meat juice? Not your bitch juice. Peter? Oh, my God. I'm just going to stop talking. That sounded really bad. Okay, we've got one last one. I'll let you read it because I'm digging a hole. All right. Hello, Pete, Ab and Sam.

58:42I need your help here. A few months ago, my sister gave us a painting and... Is that me? What the hell? No way. Is that your ringtone? Is that your ringtone? Is that a playlist? This one.

59:05I was only trying to readjust my channel. I was trying to readjust my channel. There's a fucking Rihanna snow pop in. I don't think I've ever put that tune on. I do not know. Is that Ring Toad? It just came on. It just started playing. Oh, my God. What the hell? Very song, by the way, P. That was so funny. He didn't even know it was coming. It just popped out. I thought he was just about to hammer Sam on his laptop. Don't tell me that's your ringtone. Oh, that's amazing. Okay. What the hell? A few months ago, my sister gave us a painting, and fuck me, it's huge, hideous painting of a horse that she did herself.

59:42And she told her it was to go in a pride of place in the living room. It's genuinely frightening. The horse has wide, bulging human eyes. And we've had mates who have all commented on it negatively. So we've had to take it down and hide it. but every time she visits which is often she expects to see it up so um we've gotten to this mad routine of hanging it 10 minutes before she arrives and taking it back down when she leaves and it feels like we've put more holes in the wall than a dartboard i'll attach a photo of the paint for you it genuinely terrifies me it's got massive telly tubby style smiley face sunshine beaming down on it and all doesn't and it all doesn't sit right with me how long can we keep running this horse based back and forth before she noticed or should we just give up?

1:00:26Have you got a picture of it? Yeah, if you scroll down, it's a... Oh! It's a bit of a shock, isn't it?

1:00:36Who's done that? His sister. That's not... Let me see that. That's a good painting. I actually kind of like that. It's a bit... Is abstract the word? I don't really know how to... It's cartoon. Yeah, yeah. Parts of it are really, really good. Like they're... The grass and the trees. Let's see the grass. Like, it's nice. It all flows really nicely, doesn't it? But the horse's eyes and the sun. I mean, look at this. I don't know what to call them, but I'm going to call them biceps. I love. Look at the front legs compared to the back. Well, it's people. We've been in a similar situation. So when we got our first house together, Pete went to the shop with his friend, bought a piece of art and put it up on the wall.

1:01:19Wonky, by the way. Can you imagine doing that? And it was three lime green pears. Oh. And I was like, what the fuck is that? And he was like, oh, I thought you'd like it. I was like, I don't. Get that down. And by the way, who gave you permission to put a picture up on my wall? And he was like, what? On my wall. Do you remember? He was like, I thought I was just doing something nice. I said, well, it's not nice, Pete. Get it down and get it in the bed. I don't believe it. And it's fucking wonky as well. And I'm like, oh, Christ. That didn't go into plan. Yeah, I think art's like a funny thing.

1:01:56But my brother painted me a picture. And it was phenomenal. And it was all the things that I loved. And like sayings and everything. And it's really sentimental. And I will put that up in the house, in our new house. But like... I can't wait to buy art on my own for this house. Oh, yeah. You're going to love it. it's really hard when someone buys you a gift for your house though isn't it and you don't like it do you know we did on the Peter Crouch podcast we did a Premier League footballers go-kart race Bridgie won it and the winner got that picture of me oh yeah with the Tiger with the Tiger do you know he's had that up in his house for months oh but Frankie's delighted he's missed his life I want to look at Peter Crouch stroking tiger it's out of proportion that picture because your head's like really big and then you've got these really small hands stroking a tiger it's so weird you with small hands but it's so funny because it's like the fact that he's actually put it up hilarious I was going to ask is there like a painting that you guys have had throughout your life that you've brought from home to home or are you not really into like art not really we've got various bits we've actually just set up a whatsapp group another one between Pete and I because in my new house I want family photos of you know memories and everywhere we've been together and blah blah blah so we've set up a whatsapp group where we're collecting going through our phones and getting these pictures and then I'll get them printed off yeah that'd be nice and my my one of my best friends Liberty bought me and Pete actually a beautiful painting each and they're only this big and it was the sky on the day of our birthday.

1:03:46Oh, that's lovely. She's been doing it for ages and ages. They just painted. She paints the sky every day. Really? She paints the sky every day. She paints it every single day. What the sky looks like at that time. Oh, wow. That must be so nice to look at across the years. Wow. So the day of your birth, the sky on that day. Wow. That's brilliant. That's lovely. So they'll definitely be going up. And funny enough, I'll have a horse picture going on my wall because my friend Claire and Ruth for my 40th, they bought me a photo shoot with this famous horse photographer. So I'm actually doing it next week.

1:04:24So me and Enzo. Oh, that'd be lovely. So they'll take an incredible, well, it's photography, it's not paint. Because I've always wanted like an incredible horse picture. Yeah. And he's gorgeous, isn't he, Enzo, my horse. That'd be really sweet. Yeah, and I'll just get, I'm going to get one in commission now of me for your dressing room. Oh no, we've just had the dogs. You can look at me every single day. We've had the dogs painted, haven't we? No, one of me. I do want one of you, but I look at you every day, darling. Jo, who is helping with the house, she's got a painter that works for her. And for each, for the kids for Christmas, I've got them, each one of their dogs painted and she hand paints the dogs.

1:05:06That's lovely. They're amazing. the bed so like they'll have the bed and like the canopy I'm going to do a little tiny picture it's like A3 of their dogs each of the kids dogs oh that'd be nice gorgeous yeah class brilliant alright babe are you good? I'm good alright shall we get something to eat? yeah don't have kebab but anyone? no no no I really want pie and mash now no I do as well yeah sardines I've had them this morning we'll see you next time see you next time

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