British Problems Special: Crumpets, Beards & Public Toilets

0:00The trick is to unhinge your jaw and engulf your crumpet in one mouthful. No. What's this facial I'm getting?

0:08Abbey Clancy: Hydrafacial. What does that do? Is that entail? It's hydration, vitamins, deep clean. Straight in my basket. Oi, coachee!

0:23Abbey Clancy: Ask me anything. Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch. Ask Us Anything with me, Abby Conti. Me, Peter Crouch. And our gorgeous Ross. Hey, guys. You okay? You all right there, mate? Hey, guys. You're here on Hot Girl Fridays there, weren't you? Yeah. Oh, don't you start. How have the Hot Girls been doing since you've been in your sick bed? I haven't seen them for a couple of months, you know, but I'm seeing them on Friday. Funnily enough, on one of the birthdays, it's the 30th, so I'm seeing them, the girls, on Friday, actually. See the girls? Listen to them. Can you actually believe this? Look at this character.

1:01I'm going to a pub. Anna's actually been invited this time though, so it's not technically a hot girl Friday. Oh God, you're not going to be able to be yourself then? I know, I'm not going to be able to let my hair down, am I? Can't let that tune a bob down.

1:15Abbey Clancy: You look like you've actually had a haircut. I had it a couple of months ago, to be fair, but I kind of want it a bit shorter. Now I'm going to keep it this length. It's inspired by Peter, actually. I think it's quite a nice length. So I was trying to mimic him. I'm going to take me and the boys. Don't you trim yours? My hair? I love yours Yeah, yours is quite a nice length I booked you in for a facial on Wednesday Really? Yeah I'll be hot girl Friday ready myself You love a little facial? What do you mean book me in? I don't normally go somewhere for a facial Do you go to Natalie Kelly? Do I?

1:45And you go for your face gym Once a year Face gym I'm all over I'll get that That is unreal Book me in there no problem That's a weekly What's this facial I'm getting?

1:54Abbey Clancy: Hydrofacial What does that do? What does that entail? It's hydration, vitamins, deep clean. Straight in my basket. A little peel. A little peel. Very good. How have we been, guys, anyway? Good. I've had a weekend in bloody Croydon. What was you doing there? Tennis tournament and Smith Superstore. Oh, yeah, Smiths and Croydon's off the charts. I did a little pre-Christmas recce with the kids, which went down like a shit sandwich. Why? Yeah, because I thought I'd go... Buy it all. Yeah. Because I thought we'd just go and do like a little window shop and get the catalogs and do the old classic cut it out sticker on a paper, send it to Santa.

2:35Abbey Clancy: And it's good for me to see the toys in the flesh so they can go want this, I want that. But we basically ended up having Christmas last weekend.

2:46Abbey Clancy: Yeah, 400 quid later. The worst thing is it doesn't matter how old you are because in our local golf club we went for lunch and Ab went into the shop, which is an amazing shop, by the way. I love it in there. Is that where you need to win some drop? Yeah, it's top level. And I caught her buying me Christmas presents from the shop. And I went, oh, but can I have that now, though? I'll forget about it by Christmas, I promise. Yeah, yeah. Can I have that now? I bought the kids. You know, the kids are obsessed with these bloody football cards. What, like Match Attack? Yeah, Match Attack. Yeah, Match Attack.

3:17Abbey Clancy: And they've brought a Match Attack advent calendar out, so I've got them, but they've opened them. I just can't believe them. literally can't believe it and they were 30 quid each and then Lucinda was like can you get me three I got Riley one for her little boy yeah and they're all opened so that's the end of the day you're asking for trouble there I'll be letting the kids see the presents this early on no I'm not letting them see the presents we were supposed to do a walk by yeah and take a picture of what they want and then we'd send it to Santa and then you've got those advent calendars look brilliant why don't I buy 10 of them now no because last year Last year it was that bloody Squishmallow one, do you remember?

3:54Oh yeah, yeah, because you were trying to get our clothes. Couldn't get hold of one.

3:57Abbey Clancy: Yeah, and they were sold out and we couldn't get, we ended up spending like 200 quid on this fucking squishy advent calendar. So I thought, I'm not making that mistake again, sister. So I bought them. You are on it for Christmas, aren't you? Yeah. You are on it. What happened to the frigging chocolate ones that you used to get for a quid? I used to do them in a bargain, by the way. Well, I like those, but the advent calendars are a whole new different level. I got my Space NK Advent Calendar. Oh, yeah. And even that's caused murder. Like, the girls are like, I want this. And I'm like, no, it's mine.

4:27Abbey Clancy: It's the one piece of Christmas that I love. You know, remember when we were working at Brewdog with the Peter Crouch pod? We had the cans. Yeah. You got me an Advent Calendar as well from Net Apporter, didn't you, or something? Did I? Last year, and I was like, what the fuck? Wasn't it like underwear? That daily diamond rings or something? unfortunately not what's the underwear for each we're not gonna do Christmas presents this year are we? just a new build don't buy into a piece we're just gonna do our house up and then move sounds fun you are mad I love you have you still been on Enzo? you haven't spoken about your horse riding for a while now I'm going now after this Oh, are you?

5:17Yeah.

5:18Abbey Clancy: How are you getting on? Great, fantastic. It's just my happy place. I just love it so much. You said you were thinking of entering into a competition a couple of weeks ago. Is that still on the cards? But when I'm on the horse and I hear the word competition, I just lose my shit. I just go to absolute pieces and don't know my right and left, which is quite tricky. But no, I just want to have fun. I'm not going to put that pressure on myself at the moment. That's fair. That's fair. Pete, what about your tennis? How are you getting on with that? Yeah, I haven't done any of the training at the moment.

5:49I've just been a bit too busy, to be honest with us, since the summer. But I will be taking it out in the minute I get a bit more time.

5:55Abbey Clancy: Why don't you start tomorrow? First lessons tomorrow? You should do it. Get out there. I'd like to. Do you have indoor courts by you or is it all outdoor? It's outdoor. The weather's getting a bit tricky for tennis outdoor, isn't it? It's all right, mate, listen. I'll get out there. He's well-weathered, this chap. I've been out in the winter my whole life. I've scored hat-tricks for Liverpool in the piss of my brain. Never mind, a bit of tennis. I know. Not a problem for me. Right, so what we're going to do, we're going to get into the Reddit threads again. Obviously, we've been inundated with those.

6:25There were some absolute crackers. We're going to persevere with these. Yeah, so this is from, if anyone's interested, the British Problems Reddit threads on Reddit, obviously. But yeah, the past couple of weeks, we've had loads of people sending in funny screenshots and the replies and stuff like that. So I just thought we could try this a little bit different. See what we got up. Yeah, okay. All right, well, the first one says here, hitting that awful time of year when people are openly coughing their guts up on public transport and spraying everybody with their germs. Fuck me, Carol, go back home.

6:57I know what you mean. There was someone the other day really badly coughing on a quite busy train. And you could see everyone going, oof. What do you do? I mean, you don't want to be rude, but then you don't want to be coughing.

7:09Abbey Clancy: Was she covering her mouth? Yeah, but it's obviously, you know. Would it go like that? And then hold the fucking pole. It's like... But do you know what it is also? A good tactic for getting people not to sit next to you. True. I mean, it is that time of year, isn't it? I think it should be mandatory to wear face masks on the tube. Oh, no. No way. How stuffed that is. I see the odd person doing it. I think they should do it. Okay, it's that time of year where you play coat gamble. It's freezing at 6am. Do I wear my big coat? or will I be boiling later? Take my thin coat or risk being cold later.

7:48This is, I do this all the time.

7:50Abbey Clancy: Yeah. A couple of times. I actually, it's actually worse for me. To be too hot. To take the big coat and regret it. Yeah, agreed. Because fucking that big coat, you're carrying it around and it's roasting hot. You think, what the hell have I got done this for? Whereas if you're cold, you've just got to nip places, haven't you? I just cannot bear being cold. but I get it's like what do you wear in this weather one hour at training then it's windy then it's sunny lay it up I'd say that's why them commando bodies are just love a commando body what are you on what are these commando bodies it's just a brand it's like a thin almost tight material polo neck that clips underneath a body commando body commando god some Romadine's going to pop up you know commando bodies fashion let's have a look at what you're wearing you talk about you talk about commando bodies and your hot girl Fridays so girls what's your thoughts our Abby swears by them but I'm not convinced I'd pay to see you in one of those for us to be quite honest he'd look like Drew of the Minions yeah but like doing this coat thing I definitely think for me I'd rather be cold than be lugging a big coat around.

9:14100%. I'd be too cold and too hot all day.

9:16Abbey Clancy: Oh, no, I wouldn't. But I am one for sensible clothing. I can't know if I try a coat on now to buy and it's too heavy. I won't buy it. You need a light coat that's warm. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. That guy from Finland's always stuck with me. There's no bad weather, only bad clothes. Oh, yeah, what a shout. I think it's such a good shout. You go, oh, I'm so cold. No, no, you just got the wrong outfit on. See, I've put the boys in thermal vests for school now. Well, you got yourself down to ethylostons. I know. Ethylostons. I used to love ethylostons, though. My knickers and socks. Do people go to the same clothes shops at school now?

10:00Is everyone still going to WH Smith's for the pencil case? No. No?

10:04Abbey Clancy: Amazon. WH Smith's coming off the high street, RIP. No. I know. Institution gone. What a shame. It's a broken Britain. Argos is still flying, isn't it? I've done some work with Argos recently, isn't it? They're doing well, you know, considering that, like you say, Amazon have... Bloody Home and Bargain's closed down round here. Devode. Is it really? Well, we lost Woolworths, didn't we? Oh, I used to love a little nick and a little pick and mix up today. Did anyone ever do that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Did big time. It's a real shame, isn't it? Do you think everyone's stole from a pick and mix? I don't think anyone's ever weighed the right amount, have they?

10:39Abbey Clancy: No, I mean just walk past and take one. Oh, just go and eat one. Yeah, I think everyone's done that once off stage. I got collared once in Omskake and I thought that I was going to get arrested and everything. I nearly cried my eyes. I was like 12, older lads from school as well and I got nipped by the security. I was like, please don't tell me that. Outrageous. Mind you, they're full of bloody germs, aren't you? See, people just putting their hands in instead of using the spatula thing. Yeah. Hey guys, we're just going to take a quick break while you hear from our sponsors And remember, if you're liking what you're hearing, hit that follow button.

11:12Abbey Clancy: And if you can be bothered, leave us a review because we love reading them. Don't we, Pete? We do. Welcome back. Hopefully you managed to follow us in that short break. And if you want to pass it on to someone who you think might like this content, you're welcome to do so. Do it now. Okay. Well, this one here, crumpet dribble. Ten times worse when you have a beard. When you bite into a juicy crumpet and the button runs all over you. Okay, so this is the thread, right? Just here to say Crumpet Dribble is my new drag name. What was your old drag name? Someone's replied. Muffin Crumble. The trick is to unhinge your jaw and engulf your crumpet in one mouthful.

11:56Abbey Clancy: No. Is that a euphemism? Someone's right. I enjoyed the earlier work by Crumpet Dribble, but when they got big and started to sell out the huge arenas, they sort of lost some of their charm and I lost interest. What? Does she think it's like a band? Almost all food is worse when you have a beard. Soup, straight up no good food if you haven't trimmed that morning. You know there's more bacteria in a human beard than on a dog. You said that to me before. It's true. I find that hard. Google it, Russ. Okay. Okay, well, one sec. More bacteria in beard. So you're saying like a beard is is unhygienic, really.

12:39But don't they say that? Oh, yeah, it is. You're right, Al. Yeah, I know. Significantly more microbes than dog fur.

12:45Abbey Clancy: Disgusting, isn't it? Including harmful bacteria. That's why I'm also always kissing my dog instead of you.

12:54Even though he's got no beard?

12:55Abbey Clancy: Yes. No beard? Yeah, I've got a beard. I've shaved it today. It's only a little bit of stubble. It's right up to your lip. I was thinking about that with Eddie Hearn yesterday. His beard's right on his lip. So is yours. It goes right up to here, yeah. If he was a Mars body, he's himself in, wouldn't he? He absolutely loves himself, Eddie Hearn. I love him as well, to be fair. I like him. That bloody guy was so horrible to him on TalkSport. Simon Jordan. Oh my God. I could not believe it. He came on my podcast directly after that interview. Yeah, I remember. I love Eddie Hearn's dad. I think they're great.

13:36Abbey Clancy: But I like the other boxing promoter as well. Frank Warren, he's been on our part as well. Frank Warren, I love him as well. He's good as well. Characters. Characters, exactly right. Okay. I will suffer through the 45-minute train journey home. Sorry, just going back to that Reddit thread, I've got a solution for the crumpet juice. Pinklets. What's a pinklet? A pinklet is a skinny crumpet. Aren't they more... I think they're more juicy. More juicy to come... Yeah, more juicy to come too. I think a crumpet is actually easier to eat. See, I just, I go for the, did he tell you about the caviar crumpets?

14:15Abbey Clancy: Yeah, you did. Oh my God. Please, can we have them? They're the best things I've ever tasted in my life. They're right up there. It is a bit knobby though, isn't it? Caviar crumpets. Yeah, it's wanky. I've called it a wanky dish. Total knobby, but it's tasty as hell. you could take me for them later if you want if you want I really want to go on a date I want to go to the cinema we haven't been on a date for ages is that a possibility this evening? probably not I want to see that new Leonardo film yeah yeah it looks good that doesn't it actually followed by a caviar crumpet yummy not a hot dog and nachos I'll have a caviar crumpet please Yeah, hot dog and nachos.

15:02Oh my God.

15:03Abbey Clancy: Can I just say something? Can I just say something? Like, honestly, if you really loved me, the place where you're going to get the boys' haircut is opposite Caviar Crumpet Place. So you could get me a little takeaway. Yeah. But will it be open, though, by the time I get around there? Yeah. Well, it'll probably be six o 'clock, won't it? Well, by the time you're finishing the hairdresser, it will be six o 'clock. I'll get some popcorn in the Odeon, babe. I'll have a look. That'll probably cost the box as much as the fucking caviar. I went to cinema the other day. It was absolutely bomb. Yeah, mate.

15:39I can't believe the prices these days. We took all the kids.

15:42Abbey Clancy: Well, I took all the kids, me and Lucinda, the other day was like 300 quid. Crazy money. It's a joke. To go? It's a joke. Yeah, but by the time you've done all the snacks and everything. I was like, bring back those moody videos. Do you used to buy them? We used to buy them from Grady. Where the man stands up. And then someone stands up and walks across the screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always think about them and you couldn't hear them couldn't hear a thing on them couldn't hear a thing shocking and you'd have Japanese subtitles on them sometimes wouldn't you I used to love them the man used to you'd have the man coming in selling cockles and then you'd get the DVD man I think we got we got a copy of the we used to get all the CDs as well Michael Bublé and all that I was around the car someone just wrote on a felt the felt Michael Bublé Michael Bublé but he was fuzzy with that.

16:31Class.

16:32Abbey Clancy: I might get arrested for that one. Well, it's, you know, piracy, isn't it? Piracy. Doesn't happen anymore. You wouldn't rob a car if ever them fucking had birds and stuff. That's it. You'd be watching it on your blank DVD like, you wouldn't rob a car, you wouldn't rob a bag. Oh my God. Okay, well listen, I'll suffer through the 45 minute change early home with a full bladder rather than use a public toilet in Britain. Yeah. The state of the toilets are beyond words and some of the things I've seen the foul i've used public toilets in berlin they were fine and as clean as could be expected and i've used them in paris and while unpleasant they weren't as vile as british ones and i don't understand how they are fucking so disgusting so i think this like i think you can you can judge the cleanliness of a restaurant when you go into their toilets like i had to complain somewhere the other day and just be like actually can you cancel my order because i've seen the state of the toilet so I refuse to eat here.

17:29Abbey Clancy: So. The person says I'm reasonably well travelled and I've seen some bad ones across the country. But the worst are easily in London. I've seen drug use items. Drunks face down in piss. I've seen dead pigeons, rats, crazy people mumbling to themselves and once there was a fox behind one of the toilets in a cubicle and that's not even touching on the real problem. The faeces. Oh my God. The faeces. the pieces you know where's the worst it's the trains have you ever gone into a train toilet Jesus Christ that's where that's where it is I've never been it's hard to go on the train though because it moves isn't it do you know what I mean especially if you're the fella like yeah what not the is there a toilet on the tube no no no trains no like on the Avanti home to Liverpool Avanti home yeah like the Virgin train kind of yeah it's Avanti yeah yeah yeah oh is it yeah they're the worst ones Abby Jesus Christ I've been on a few of them.

18:27Abbey Clancy: I don't think they're that bad. I mean, there's one specific station in London that I'll go to. And the characters in it are insane. I don't know. I quite like it in a weird way. So like going to Lark Lane in Liverpool? Yeah, the characters are just... There's one fella. He's obviously, you know, he's obviously not all there. But he's a great character. And he recognises me every time. And no one else does. It's only him. Like I'm just playing through. I don't know whether everyone's being very polite or they just don't. But he goes, Hey, coachy! And he blows me up every time. And I try and like go like, I'm still.

19:11Abbey Clancy: He's like Fagin running through the crowd. Yeah, I'm running. I'm with his little hat on. I'm with my little hat on trying to get away. And he goes, Hey, hey! And he tells everyone, Hey, coachy! Yeah! It's the big man! But I love him for it. And I end up, I've stopped and chatted to him for ages because I've said look mate come call it please and I've chatted to him he's actually a really interesting guy how old is he? he's older he looks like Father Christmas great guy really good guy actually he's actually really sound when you talk to him because I think a lot of people probably go oh god stay away from him keep your head down and that's probably the safe thing to do but actually talk to him he's really really sound fella yeah I like that I like speaking to strangers though me too me too it's a northern thing though because I've been told off by my southern friends for doing it too much down here we just don't do that down here why have you got to speak to everyone when we go out and all that and I'm just like calm down babe we should have a little chat aren't we

20:18toilets are absolutely horrendous I would say I agree with that there's probably something we could get done about that something needs to be done Broken Britain

20:28Abbey Clancy: What was that story about my dad when he went in the loo? Oh don't go in there No my dad went to a loo and he walked in and walked out and then someone else come in and walked in and walked out and my dad said oh I've just done that and the guy went oh I thought my dad had done the mess in the loo but he meant walked in and out He went I've just done that walked in and walked out but he suddenly realised, oh my God. Like his pradha's punching him when he's just creating something. I've just done that. Disgraceful. Are the toilets that are bad are service stations? Yeah, some of those service stations ones.

21:11Can you actually imagine if you saw a fox?

21:14Abbey Clancy: Oh, I'd love that. Yeah, I'd look at you before. Talk about a fox in the box. You'd fucking shit yourself? I saw you with the bloody squirrel, you nearly died. Yeah, well. I'm not a fan of squirrels. They are. They can be aggressive squirrels. I saw this thing on Instagram the other day. This guy just... What? They can be aggressive squirrels. It can be. Big tar. It can be. I've seen it firsthand. This guy just found, like, a cat. Just gave birth in his room, and then all these little kittens just walked out. Really? That would be my dream. My mate Greg used to always have cats giving birth. We used to watch it all the time.

21:50He used to say, but my cat's on the verge. we used to go around for like a week and we'd go, my cat's on it. And I must have watched about three live births.

21:58Abbey Clancy: Oh. Shut up. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah, regularly. Yeah, unbelievable. Ivy was prolific. Slut. Absolutely prolific. She was a real top cat. The bike in the neighbourhood. So did you touch them from Newborn? Well, you didn't touch them. I mean, I watched, it wasn't a pleasant sight. it happened and we'd all be sitting there was she in paying the mum? she'd make a bit of a noise and then she'd eat the afterbirth yeah it wasn't pretty why were you just going round to watch this we'd just have nothing else to do we'd just turn the telly off and just watch a cat giving birth quite regularly I'd love that just think lads we could be out chatting up girls right now how lame would that be instead of watching this cat give birth for the third time it's like that's what I was saying And if we get that place, we could breed animals.

22:54We could do, yeah. Or you could.

22:57Abbey Clancy: We could have like a retired, you know, like ex-racehorse sanctuary or rescue donkeys. So, you know, plant trees, good for the environment. Has this place got the potential to be turned into like the community that you've been banging on about? The compound, yeah. The compound, yeah, that's it. Okay. She wants to move to the compound. I'd like to put my name down for plot number two, please. okay the unnecessary increase in island related dating shows on tv yeah anything island anything island in it dating mental is it any wonder people watch less tv now with the amount of island related dating shows honeymoon island virgin island i'm looking at you two at least the undateables and naked attraction were completely unique i could just not tune in but what have I got to complain about yeah there is a lot of dating shows that have Ireland I don't watch them though because people just Love Island as well you missed Love Island out there didn't you Love Island I don't mind but all the others I think people just want fame don't they mind you love is blind but I don't know if that's on an island but the island the point about it being on an island is so so bang on isn't it what is that about it's a bit sexy I suppose sun and sun and sand like the Isle of Fernandos and take me out yeah yeah where was that was like tell me let the johnner see the kebabs fernando's class okay what makes one being asked in the supermarket which aisle certain food items are in because you're wearing a high vis even though the high vis has atkinson's heavy haulage in big letters on the back and the supermarket uniform definitely isn't jeans and oily steelys I've been asked loads of times things like that you know have you?

24:46yeah in shops

24:48Abbey Clancy: excuse me if you've got this in a small or whatever really? yeah loads of times it's happened to me you kind of got that approachable face though haven't you? do you know what I mean? what does that mean? like you're like a friendly face aren't you I would say rather than not because you're dressed like a fucking you work there in your uni if I'm in Zara headstone Zara What are we doing going?

25:13Drove all the way from Yorkshire to Devon. Not once did I make a car friend that I drove in tandem with for longer than five minutes.

25:20Abbey Clancy: What? The world's gone to shit. What's a car friend? Look, I get that. You kind of get on the motorway and you drive at the same speed as someone for ages, so you were with them for so long. I get that, especially if you've got that cruise control, something like that. You just stop it at a certain speed. Oh, as if you've ever used that. No, I don't use it, but people do. I've seen it with my dad. I've been travelling with my dad from Southampton to Liverpool, and there'll be someone who's driving on the same motorway for an hour, an hour and a half, and you give them the head nod to first, and then you've got to feel the need to keep doing it the whole way every time you pass.

25:54I do get it, yeah. A little car friend.

25:58Abbey Clancy: I hate it when kids wave at you in the car. Like that.

26:06Abbey Clancy: Zero interest. Have a look, if you ever see me. Google me, bitch. Google me.

26:12I would have said, there's a kid waving now. Fuck off. And then when my dad looks up, encouraging it off. And then when my dad looks, you go, hey.

26:22Piss off, mate. Not in the movie. Because I've got your own kids in the back. Yeah, I've got my own kids. I'll play with yours.

26:33Fantastic. Long two-way streets that only have enough room for one car to drive down.

26:37Abbey Clancy: Oh, my God, I did that in bloody Croydon, Pete. I went down a one-way. Did you? Oh. Coming into a bus, and everyone was screaming at me, one way, and you know I can't reverse, can I? Thankfully, there was this guy, and he had the biggest dog I've ever seen, and he was like, I'll help you out. It wasn't Tom Hardy, was it? No, unfortunately not. But it took me, like, 15 minutes to reverse, because I cannot reverse straight. Well, I know that. And I was having a heart attack. But, you know, shout out to him who helped me, rescued me. It was very, very nice. How did you manage to go down in one way?

27:10Abbey Clancy: Because the fucking ways told me to. Really? There must have been a new road. He was like, oh, don't worry, love. Everyone does this. Oh, really? Happens all the time. Oh, that's nice of him. Did you have to hold this dog and he had to reverse it for you? No, I reversed. I wanted him to do it for me, but then I was thinking, the kids are in the back, he could just drive away with the kids. Oh, yeah, yeah. So, uh... Oh, God, yeah. At least he'd have a new dog. No, that's true, yeah. I grew up on one of those streets I remember when you came round it's like how do you live like this but when you just grew up like that it was consistently find a parking spot outside your house it's hard and you might park like half way down the street and what about when you meet another car and you can't decide who gets to go I grew up I just don't move I grew up watching my dad have so many battles with people about who's going to move in.

28:04And you just don't have a standoff like that and see that someone has to reverse.

28:08Abbey Clancy: I'm hoping if I spread the word enough on this pod... You're peeping and creeping closer to each other. Yeah, yeah. I hope people listen to this pod and know that I can't reverse. If they ever see me in that situation, they will move first. Yeah. There's enough people that listen to this pod. Oh, there's Abby there. I'm going to have to go back. That's it. Remember my name. I'll be Clancy. Google me. It's all on Google. Why are you rehashing this fucking Google me then? Well, it's one of the greatest shouts of all time. It's a bit of banter. I didn't say that. You can't come in. Google me. I didn't say that at all.

28:40Abbey Clancy: They asked for my age and I said I don't have an ID. Google me. You can. I can Google myself and show you my age if you want. The Toys R Us ones are Belted as well. When did you think she was asking for the signature? Oh, I asked the Belt. It was a crack of that. Chef's kiss. Belter. Absolute radio. No repeat guarantee. except it's guaranteed to repeat the same songs each day of the week. Interesting. Rotating menus on TV screens in coffee shops. I hate that. Wait five minutes for a car back to the menu so you can see the pricing. A modern life convenience not being convenient. I hate them fucking QR codes.

29:17Abbey Clancy: I just want a physical menu. Do you know the kids are doing that now? Do you know this? That's how they all hook up in the discos. Yeah, so one of the young lads, right? He was 17, 18 or whatever. He came back to his dad. And I know his dad. And he went and he said, how'd you get on, son? He said, I got five QR codes last night. You are joking me. Swear to you. No way. Swear. What are you Googling there? Kind of WhatsApp. Not WhatsApp. Like Snapchat thing or something. QR codes. This is how they're rolling. That is outrageous. You just get your phone number like that. You know, it's got all your details on it.

29:52Someone did it to me. Do you know what happened? I was on holiday. And it was like a holiday friend. and he said, here, mate. He said, take your number and we'll play golf or something. And he said, yeah, just scan that. I went, what? I scanned the QR code. I've actually done it. Is this Maurice? I scanned the QR code and I got all these details just on my phone. Oh, I don't like that. Did you not know that? I don't know that. Did you know about that?

30:18Abbey Clancy: If you ask someone for your number, you could just put your two phones together and your number will go in there. I know that you can do that. Yeah, I knew that, but I didn't know about the QR code. Like putting that out in a school disco, are people just going to be plastering QR codes and toilets and all that now? QR codes, yeah. I don't like that. A bit of my... Yeah, just to... That's the way... Well, anyway, she's saying about the rotating TV in coffee shops. I can't... I know what she means. I know exactly what they mean. Oh, that looks nice. And you go, what is it? And then it goes off the screen.

30:45It's gone again, yeah.

30:46Abbey Clancy: It's like when you go into a hotel now and there's no bloody menu, in-room dining menu, you have to do a QR code. That does matter. And then my phone's normally dead, so I can't do that. So it's starting to die. That is so annoying. And they're on the TV now, aren't they? I can't work. Technology in a hotel. No. It's not good for you. No. No. Just call down and can you explain the entire menu to me, please? Yeah. Just let me get a pen and paper. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The last one here, they say, Moonpig, would you like to opt out of grandparents' day emails? let me tell you moon pig i would like to opt out of knowing there is such a thing as grandparents day and if only the mothers and fathers of our mothers and fathers had a day to celebrate their relationship greeting these card companies making up a load of nonsense to prop up their dying industry bit harsh that is harsh harsh very harsh we celebrate grandparents day in our school yeah that we we do grandparents day in school but my sister went with a mate because we had no grandparents together.

31:53No grandparents. I said to my dad, do you want to go?

31:55Abbey Clancy: He went, oh, can't be doing with all that nonsense. So that was great. Dad, are you sure you don't want to go and see all the kids work? No. Fuck that. I'm like, great. Yeah, no interest, thanks. Zero interest. It's quite a nice day, actually, you know. See all the grandparents there, like the kids sing a song and then they go look at their work. Quite nice. But I do think grandparents day for me, I would just text my granddad on Father's Day saying happy Father's Day. I don't think it needs to be a separate thing, does it? Because you're not a bloody grandparent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it'd be nice.

32:26I think when you're a grandparent, it's nice to be made a fuss of by your grandson or daughter. I can't. I'm actually, I can wait because I don't want to be that old. But it'd be nice to be a grandparent. Like, I think we'll be good grandparents. I actually want to do all the stuff that it feels like it might be a chore to others. Do you know what I mean? Because I'd love to stay in with my little son or daughter. Grandson or daughter. Same. You know? Oh, well, that's the Reddit vibe. British problems. Enjoyable, those, aren't they? I quite like it because it's just, it's all the things that annoy you silently that you don't talk about, put down on paper.

33:05Abbey Clancy: I've got a British problem. And one of them goes, it goes back to the, like when you make a mistake driving and people beep you and all of that. And you're just like, you know, I've taken a wrong turn. Like, chill. I haven't done this on purpose. people get so angry don't they I think there should be horn etiquettes as well by the way because some of the times you hear it going off it's like a fucking like 10 seconds a little honk people that honk do me in you hear them all the time like in Paris everyone's honking aren't they we have a little bit more decorum in England which is better but I'm still not a fan of anyone but my instant reaction when someone beefs me is to just go like that Yeah, because it winds you up.

33:47It's like the alarm. It makes you violent.

33:53That story of when someone was trying to help you, Abby, because you left your lights off or something.

33:57Abbey Clancy: He was beeping me, and then I went, what? Sorry, love, you're hazard to run. You're hazard to run. I was like, oh, my God. So sorry. Yeah, not a fan of beeping. So if you see Abby on the road, don't beep, and please reverse if she's in a sick situation, because she can't. Yeah. And then Google her when you get home.

34:18Abbey Clancy: Right, that was a good... Yeah, enjoyable. You're going riding, I'm going to come watch. Yay! And then we're going to the tile shop. Oh, really? Come on, babe. This is the tile dance. Not the tile shop. I'm looking forward to watching you ride. Yeah, good. You'll see how much I've improved. Looking forward to it. Right, on that note. I'll see you in the flesh next week. We've missed you. I'll get you some nice bone broth, some vitamin D spray. We sorted? All over. See you then, mate. Bye. Cheers, guys.