Does Life END At 40?! - Holiday Blues, Midlife Breakdowns & Chaotic Instagram Threads

0:00I do remember that, yeah. yeah she thought you said shearing yeah she thought you said shearing I was gagging with you I was gagging with you I think I've ever said that in my life I said we've been fans of yours for years Amy but we love Peter as well and I was like oh god hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch with me Abby Clancy and me Peter Crouch and here he is our Ross hello looking glowing sun kissed did you see me tan lines before? Jesus Christ yeah Ross just got his whole arse out for me you know normally me balls i like them too i like them junky how are we going great yeah we're good you look glowing as well to be fair we've had a nice time as well haven't we yes um i'm dying to hear about yours first for us mate it was unbelievable if you haven't been and you kept the opportunity to go you should definitely definitely go it's one of the people over there are like scousers like you walk past them like hi mate you're okay you're having a nice day I'm like yeah yeah how's yours going is it Brianna from Barbados yes when I saw her house where she grew up in Bajan babe she really is went snorkelling went swimming with horses that's my dream to do that at like 6 the morning as well sun rising in the sea with the horses can't believe that for one second Ross up at 6am I know the jet lag was working the other way this time I was like it was nice at least he was horizontal yeah yeah he was floating what's that like swimming with horses you've got it's a bit bookied to be fair because they're big old steeds aren't they do you know what I mean but like don't I know yeah but then it was lovely I love horses to be honest and yeah the weather was lovely I can't believe you haven't come to see my horse yet I can't believe you haven't invited me I have when you don't need an invite you can come with me after this yeah I'll come come on have a ride it's a bit bigger though isn't it 17 ans or something 18-3 it's a big horse yeah it's not for me those horses are small Barbados is known for horse recent horse yeah horse recent so they can have like a particular breed you know like the Mongolian horses yeah you like that style that's what they like oh god they're beautiful though so they look a bit more Shetlandy not Shetlandy they're quite skinny but like short they're not massive but race horses aren't as big as you think no race horses are smaller than your horse are way smaller yeah it's not like a shy horse or anything like that they're like small little steady ones but yeah we got to see them horse racing in the morning as well taking them out to practice gorgeous it was amazing so they must have to take them out before the heat they do yeah so they take them out to five and then they take them for a swim at six but it's like a it's like a touristy thing as well though everyone goes and gets the pictures and stuff but we were going snorkelling so we just saw it excellent how nice is that isn't that interesting gorgeous you should see me tan loud I've got a Peter Crouch tan as well I'm fine for seeing them I've seen you but thanks though form is pure white I know oh real mate your Tash is doing bits for me though what's going on here yeah I've gone for a Tash obviously it's my Vemba working with them I love those guys they do good work yeah And yeah, I always like to get involved and I'm quite happy with my tash.

3:01We've actually got a picture in our downstairs loof from one of our Movember campaigns. Oh yeah, you have, yeah. Where I had a tash. Yeah, you had the one on as well. I quite too, did it? Didn't it, bizarre way. Didn't Alex say it was, called it a worm broom? That's outrageous, that. How fucking keeps you getting it? All right, almighty. Disgusting. I doesn't mind it. No, no, no, you look all right. I like it. Yeah, you're like a bit soldier-esque. More distinguished. Yeah, I like it. It kind of verges on village people, police officer as well, though, a little bit. But he grows it well. Pete knows that I couldn't grow a moustache like that if I left my beard forever.

3:38Really? No, not at all. I don't really get hair on it. It's like my sides there. So you do well, mate. Well, thanks a lot. If you see it creeping into December, you know it's going well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can grow it and stick it on your head. Tom Selleck over here. Oh, I like Tom Selleck. Yeah, that's a tash. That is a tash. that I mean there's only a few isn't there there's like who else said one Daniel Day-Lewis looks great with him oh yeah what's that film called Ian Rush yeah the 70s Tash is a big it was the 80s John Aldridge and Ian Rush yeah good shows top level Tash you'll be there son carry on yours is a bit spindly you could trim it I don't know I just thought I'd just keep growing and see what happens grow it as far as it goes and then go to the barbers and they'll sort it for you see what they can do the only thing that worries me about it is that a human beard carries more bacteria than a dog.

4:28Yeah. Well, you'd let your dog lick your face, wouldn't you? No. Wouldn't you? He does. I've seen him. So what else have you been up to, kids? I heard you've been a little rendezvous to the Lake District. Have we been to Orlando, Ross? Oh, oh, yeah. Sorry, it's hard to keep track with you two. We went to Orlando to Universal Studios. How was that? Oh, it was just a holiday of a lifetime. Again, if you ever get the opportunity to go. That's what I've said to everyone. Yeah. And they go to Universal. Yeah. The rides. It is. They've opened a new park called Epic and let me tell you, it is epic. How good is it?

5:03It's phenomenal. And even Jack could go on every ride. Never mind Jack, what about him? He did. Did you? Yeah, no height restrictions for me. That's good. Which is great. Thumbs up. Universal. You're doing a great job. What was so epic? Well, just like, you know the technology's come on now, so it's a brand new park, right? Yeah. Do you remember, you think getting on a rollercoaster, it's a rickety kind of affair. It's not anymore. It's a smooth, like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Insane ride, like... Not like the Maltz trap? No. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, like the Maltzers or something. I love the Maltz trap.

5:37No, this is a time and place for them as well. They're great. But, yeah, like some of the rides, there was one called the Velocicoaster. Oh, I didn't like that one. That was too fast. Spinning? Was that spinning or was it? Yeah, upside down. It's the fastest rollercoaster. Is it? that was too intense for me that one the Veloci what was it called the Veloci Velocicoaster Velocicoaster and there was one called Stardust as well right we're like but like we myself and Johnny who's bearing in mind seven yeah right this thing was insane he we went we queued up we got in the front did you yeah well that's a different kettle of fish we're going to the front this roller coaster basically two roller coasters that go like that and they cross oh no like that and then you but you see so like we saw I was doing it with Sophia and Liberty they were on one and I was on the other and we saw them like upside down it was amazing did you get all the Keenings and all that yeah I bet you've got some funny photos my favourite ride was the Hagrid one so you're like on a motorbike Harry Potter so you're on like a motorbike Harry Potter world is it yeah Harry Potter you would not believe it they've got dragons breathing fire you can get the the butterbeer oh yeah butterbeer yeah butterbeer Diagon Alley and all that yeah it was you know it's just incredible the Harry Potter experience is phenomenal did you choose your wand that's like a simulator one or did you want to choose you you know what you can go in you can go through the streets you know where all the shops are Diagon Alley the same streets yeah and you can do magic with your wand the kids we were there for Fright Night as well which was you know terrifying like you could go into like a Jason house how did the kids deal with that well they were so basically we were like we're not going to take them because they'll be too scared yeah so kids can go but you know they didn't advise they don't recommend it they don't recommend it but our because we had older kids with us our little ones were like we want to go so we didn't take the boys into the so basically you took them Libby no we did no they all came no we took them in because they were like I kept them out Jason I thought you know but Lib was screaming screaming crying and i could not stop laughing yeah and she was so i was covering her eyes and she was like get off me you know when you can't breathe with laughter so but it was a weird experience for me because i didn't have like the whole jumpy thing because i was laughing so much and i was like live it's okay they're not real yeah but it was just the whole week was fabulous and we had a we had a little bit of luck we had a little look around florida we went to gatorland did you yeah yeah held a little baby gate did you see gators there's hundreds of them i've never been to get left me to play golf with pill ponter pill ponter phil ponter phil ponter rider cup legend phil ponter okay yeah or otherwise he knows ian poulter it went over my it went over my head phil ponter so you can't be fair it went over my head what a chance right to play with a rider cup legend though like at where he lives um how did that come up well it's got in touch and like i know some of the people that work on his on his youtube channel oh okay youtube yeah yeah uh the postman which is uh what it's called and it was a it was amazing played nine hole with with a professional how did you fare um did okay yeah did all right um yeah got beat in the end obviously give me a shot hole what was you playing off uh well he just gave me nine holes give me a shot every hole oh okay okay um but yeah it was it was just a great experience amazing experience on a great golf course nice people uh and I managed to get away from these for a couple of hours and I'm using fucking Geetha Land with the kids no cool thing there's a whooper I wouldn't have missed that for the world I had to go to the um I went to the park again but I was happy with that because the kids were just like you know we did like a week there every day in all the Universal parks it was just amazing wasn't it I think yeah we did like we got good ages now for them because Jack was kind of on pretty much everything wasn't he yeah so we were all going together rather than the only thing you couldn't do was the Hulk yeah there's one ride that's sad yeah well then I'm glad so I take it there's no weekly wireless for each other no no airport ab no I mean she's really improving

10:07you are you're doing so well maybe I'm being good so I get a good 40th birthday present maybe yeah don't count on it though F I don't want one anyway do you know what I'd like I'm not even joking some riding boots and a new saddle because that's actually not my saddle that came with the horse it's not made to me do you get saddles made to measure made to measure do you I think he needs to be fitted and I need to be fitted and I can get a comfier one so it's less because I do feel a bit on my spine a bit All right. That's all you want for your 40th is a new saddle. Well, no, it's not all I want.

10:43It's one of the things. I want the new saddle left on the new kitchen island. I want the new saddle left on the ranch in Montana. Exactly. Next to my 20-carat diamond. Talking of presents, Amazon have sent us this. So it says, dear Pete and Abby, we've been loving what you do and thought it was about time we showed you some love. we couldn't help but notice the amazing content you've been creating this year and you've kept our audience hooked and coming back for more well that's nice of them isn't it it has been incredible content as well isn't it really has you know it doesn't make itself oh my god no way you look like bloody um what's with the fucking goat thingy branson Richard Branson what is that goat God you're afraid that was Stone Cold Steve Austin so what it is it's Peter Crouch and Abby Clancy vinyl figures.

11:39I love it. I think it's nice. Yeah, it's cute. Let me see. The likeness is uncanny. Oh my God, that is so cute. That is so lovely. Got a little microphone and a little football. Although you do look a bit Richard Branson-esque. You look like Richard Branson, I look like Bloody Judy for Richard and Judy. Judy Finnegan. It's a lovely present though. That is gorgeous. Thank you. I look at the desk in the office. I've always wanted my own doll. I'm surprised they have another one made already. Pete had a doll made of him. But Benny did. Let's talk about that. Don't talk about that one. No, it was like a Ken doll, but with a Liverpool kit on, and I kept it forever and ever in the box.

12:15Then the kids have got it. Now he's naked. The hair's been cut off. It's got no clothes on. Oh, fuck. I know. I wonder if we could find one of them Peter Crouch LFC dolls. Yeah, that was good. I would love that. But listen, Amazon, thank you very much for our present. It's a nice island. Is this K-pop? It's pop. Oh. It says pop. I have to keep it in the box. some mink a dish that could be way after you could we should put it on our shelf oh yeah yeah little place up there for that oh yeah nice lovely lovely alright weekly wines dear Cardi P uh Abbey and Ross I've listened to your podcast for the last 12 months plus and I love it you make me laugh out loud I live in Portugal often see you when you're over there your daughter hits a good ball and Pete's pretty good too my mum who's aged 92 is a Wimbledon over 85 finalist came running down to watch me play and said very excitedly that she just bumped into ed sheeran in the car park he supposedly asked her if she was okay whilst waiting for an uber i was pretty impressed she even knew who he was that wasn't ed sheeran i said to her are you sure it was ed sheeran turns out after a few questions it was none other than peter i remember that I remember that happening.

13:33One is swollen standard, the other is swollen ginger. Pete, I remember that happening. Do you remember when we were leaving the tennis academy the other day in Portugal? Right. And I said, there was this little old lady stand there and I said to her, are you okay? Do you need any help? Do you remember when we were getting into our car and she went, oh, I'm just waiting for my taxi. Yeah, I do remember that, yeah. Yeah. She thought it was Ed Sheeran. Yeah, she thought it was Ed Sheeran. oh ross looks all like fucking cheering yeah i'll take that

14:07we we had one moment in universal as well oh so funny you gotta tell this one because it was happened to you this guy was like running after pete yeah he was like do you think he'll mind i think he'll mind getting a picture and i was like no not at all he said we've been fans of yours for years Amy but we love Peter as well and I was like oh god and they were like oh I've just had a picture with Amy and Peter followed your whole career Amy and I was like oh god Amy oh me that is cool so funny actually should I just hold to Google you that was so funny I can't believe that as if she plays in the Wimbledon over 92s that's phenomenal that's amazing fantastic that how funny is that Ed Sheeran Ed Sheeran no she must have thought I know him he's like he hits the ball and she hit him yeah he's good at hitting yeah okay so this feels like a pretty good place to take a quick break and hear from our sponsors and remember if you're enjoying this top class crouchy clance Tudor Bob Ross content don't forget to share it with your friends and family

15:17right babe do you know what we're going to do today right it does feel like these are like passive aggressive Instagram threads because you keep sending them in the group on a consistent basis. So I thought we'd go through some of them today. I sent you a nice one this morning. You sent me a couple of nice ones here. I just love the way you send them with no context into the group and it's like five ways to know if you are on the verge of divorce. I'm like, oh, I'll be and Peter having a party. No, because they just pop on. Why are your husbands a twat in 10 steps? No, it's, they just come on.

15:49They just pop on. That was nice. The one I sent last night. Yeah, the one. It was like five ways to tell you're still in love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was nice. It was. I'm going to ask you that one. Do you want to know the first one? Life ends at 40. Yes, okay. So a lot of people seem to slip into the train of thought that life ends at 40 and it's prime time for a midlife crisis. According to Jung, one of the leading psychologists of the 20th century, turning 40 should be viewed as a blessing. It is. He suggested people became more in tune with themselves and stopped performing what they thought others wanted of them, but how they truly wanted to live their life.

16:30Do you agree with old youngie here? Yeah, absolutely. Everyone says life begins at 40. Well, I'm nowhere near this, wouldn't I? Okay, so you know what he says here? We chase other people's dreams, status, approval and security. We all wear masks and call it success. Around 40, the masks begin to slip, not because we fail, but because the soul starts to speak. It's not a breakdown, it's an awakening. Now is the time for depth, not speed, to stop performing and start living. It waits quietly until we're ready to listen. It's not a finish line, it's a threshold, the start of a truly conscious, intentional life.

17:13Don't fear 40, welcome it. young you this is where the real journey begins basically in layman's terms less fucks given I think is what he's trying to say that's what I think as well and that's true that's true as someone who's been in the 30s and 40s P would you agree with that? I would agree with that yeah yeah when you're younger you want to kind of fit in when you get to 30s and 40s you know who you are yeah basically I would say you know who you are as a person what you want to be who you want to surround yourself with who are twats. No dickhead policies. No dickhead policies. How are you feeling about turning 40?

17:51I mean, some people have a bit of a wobble, don't they? I'm fine. Do you ever have wobbles on your milestone birthdays? Or 30s, you're only the last time, I suppose. I think I felt worse when I was 30 than 40. I suppose that's feeding into that because now you're self-assured and you're da-da-da. I'm not self-assured, I'm just happy. Yeah. Like, I've got like, you know, my kids, my husband, friends who I adore. Like, it's a good place. Obviously, we have different things that we want to do, which sometimes is a problem. Yeah. But I think the, where we are, I think it's exciting. The next 10 years, say, from AB's 40th to 50th, I think that is exciting, like watching the kids now is exciting.

18:36Yeah. You know, and we're getting kind of, it's easier now than it has been for the last 10 years, I would say, kid-wise. because they're little some of them are almost adults the only thing I think coming to 40 is like oh my god I'm 40 there's so much to do there's so much to see the world's so big let's do something radical but that's again like nourishment for the soul you're doing things that nourish you rather than like oh I've got to do this shoot or I've got to play for this team or something do you know what I mean so it kind of is that again there's one here this rings true to me your brain remembers insults from 20 years ago, but forgets compliments in 30 days.

19:17That's mad, that isn't it? Because your brain is wired for survival, not happiness. It remembers painful words longer than positive ones to protect you from future hurt. This is called the negative bias. Your mind gives more weight to negative experiences than positive ones. So when someone insults you, your brain treats it like a threat and stores it deep to keep you safe. you got that you knob but when someone compliments you your brain sees it as non-essential information no danger less priority that makes total sense yeah that's why you replay that one rude comment from five years ago but forget the hundred kind ones from last week here's how to rewire it let's go number one write down compliments you get number two revisit them weekly number three speak kindly to yourself daily train your brain to remember the light not darkness because peace isn't in forgetting pain it's in focusing on what heals you if you're not following us you could do jack and ori

20:27god knows that's a good point that i know yeah you take the mick there but that is really interesting i think and it's so true you do when you wake up in the middle of the light you cringe you're going oh my god they're called miss mom or something like that you don't think oh it's cool like Jeremy when he went moment to the miss

20:48yeah miss Billington I remember you self-sabotaged it yeah really if you think about it too great but then if you go back to the first one life begins at 40 no fuck's given if you surround yourself with the right people and your people you're not waking up going oh god what did I say last night what did i do yeah oh did i make a show of myself you don't care and if you're surrounded they all feed into each other all these positive things you know if you surround yourself with the right people you don't you shouldn't have any negative comments toward you well because yeah you shouldn't have but they are some bastards out there if you're out with your good friends they're not gonna judge you but yeah but if you're with your friends if you're with your people every day they're telling you you're amazing or just write all your compliments or just love you do you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah do you want to hear this one a woman's gentle touch has real healing effects on men it's not just a feeling it's science I read one this morning it was like it's called it's like a midlife crisis for a woman but it's where she just does so many jobs that are unseen and unrecognised by her husband by her kids she starts to die basically what happens to a woman who doesn't rest from her family for half a year is this okay to just bring your own ones in yeah yeah yeah i had to pick ones that wouldn't cause an argument i said i said no it's not gonna cause an argument i i sent this to lucinda and kaz and they both text me back agreed can you read the headline i'm gonna read i'm gonna read it all okay what happens to a woman who doesn't rest from her family for half a year.

22:27A psychiatrist once described this as a real syndrome and it's more common than you'd think. 50 % of your time you shouldn't be with your kids. That's bollocks. Half a year? Yeah. If you don't have one day's rest in half a year in six months away from your normal... Oh, I didn't realise I said one day. Okay, just shut up and listen. After six months of being a wife and a mother without a single day just for herself, a woman begins to develop an emotional exhaustion syndrome. it's not simply tiredness it's when her identity slowly dissolves into serving everyone else she forgets what she wants only what others need the first symptom she loses the ability to understand her own needs her brain trained to constantly scan how everyone else feels around her switches off self-awareness ask her what do you want she'll answer about her child her husband and her own eye fades into the background the second stage emotional burnout she keeps doing everything cooking clean and driving caring but without emotion like a robot kids get the lunch but not warmed her husband gets a clean shirt but not a loving look the third and the most dangerous stage is the depersonal depersonalization she starts seeing her her family as a list of endless responsibilities their smiles don't bring joy their hugs don't warm her she looks at her husband and feels nothing but irritation that he needs something again this is the point this is the point of no return where many relationships quietly collapse rest from a family is not selfishness it's maintenance of the most important system in the home the woman's mental and emotional health a full day alone once every few months isn't luxury it what keeps the family system from falling apart i'll give you a rest love yada yada fucking yada we get it

24:26i also like this one when he thinks he's done some housework and he's gonna get lucky tonight but I'm going to bring up something that he did in 2017. Love it. Love it. I love these little memes. I was gagging you there. Listen, I totally get that. You what? Gagging me? Does that mean? He's having a gag. Well, I didn't say gagging you. You did? You did. You did? Did I say that? You said I was gagging you then. Yeah, but I took that as an other side. Well, I didn't mean to say that. Who even says that? Oh, I don't. I don't know. I'm so surprised I said it. I didn't mean to say that. I was gagging with you.

25:00I was gagging with you. I don't know if I've ever said that in my life. And if I did, I apologise. But no, I think I get that. That's why we went away this weekend. I'm taking you out this weekend. We do things. You don't say dirty weekend then? No, it's a dirty weekend. I said we're out this weekend. No, listen, sister. That's why I got a horse. We do lots of things. We go for lunches. You're not supposed to be on this day. What day? This day that the woman has. You're not invited on. Oh, it's a women's day. Yeah, it's just, you have golf, I have my horse. Great. So our family's not going to fall apart.

25:38Great. Anyway, a man feels loved when he's touched or held by a woman he trusts. His brain releases oxytocin and it's called the bonding hormone. It's factual here that it's helping me out. It's stress hormones, slows heart rate, lowers blood pressure, helps his body heal, activates the parasympathetic nervous system. The part of the brain that says you're safe now. That's why one gentle touch, a hug, or even holding hands can feel like a medicine after a hard day. Men often don't express it, but their emotional nervous system is highly responsive to affection from someone they love. We hold hands on the other.

26:14A woman's softness doesn't make a man weak. It helps him recharge his masculine energy and face the world again. So when she says, come here, you look tired, that's not just love. Get in you. Get in you.

26:28That's a weird one, isn't it? Come here, you look tired. Never heard that. What does that mean? Come here, you look tired. Let's give a little hug. Get your feet up. Give us a hug. Get your feet up. When would you ever... The kids are yours. Do you want a cup of tea, Pink? You are not good at that. Me coming in, that's more stress coming home. No, I said to you today, you can have a little rest this afternoon. Well, I go outside. I do like good cooks. I'm not going to lie. it does make I think that really makes a lot of sense like I do it's just everything about you does feel nice do you know like thanks it does when you have a hug yeah like it does it does there is a thing about female touch yeah it's different you know if you give me a hug I'll fuck off that was horrible thanks shall we do some making the abs go on this lady says hi Angel Pete Angel Pete yeah I saw the Debenhams ad Abby who is just an absolute angel and of course the man who keeps it all going R Ross please help am I in the wrong should I compromise or am I right to be annoyed I had arranged to go for dinner and drinks with a friend one evening and my partner knew fully aware of this my partner then tells me with only two days to go that he's booked tickets to go to the same evening with his friends this night is during the current Halloween period where there are firework displays going off nearby and our poor pooch is terrified of them and just cannot be left alone as she will literally climb on anything and tear the house to pieces from being so scared.

28:09This is a thing. When I said to him, I was annoyed that he'd made plans and I know full well I already had plans and our pooch cannot be... I can't keep saying pooch. Our dog cannot be left at this time. His response was, I can't be compromised. isn't four hours with your friend enough for you? Meaning I finish my night early and he starts up his night a bit later so that one of us can be with our dog throughout the evening and swap dog shifts. I understand that relationship take compromise, but is it fair that I'm annoyed that I have to cut my night short knowing about my plans in advance for my being unreasonable?

28:49She's in the right. She's in the right, I would say as well. I agree. Yeah, especially if she had a thing first. pre-planned engagements yeah if you had something you were doing and I came in gazumped it and said I've gone home early you'd be fuming this is slightly I think the woman's in the right I think she is as well I think we all I said that as well I said I agree she's in the right I don't think he should be moving her stuff around if it was booked beforehand no I don't I don't at all and I think especially like and you can't leave the pooch on from by any no be petrified and he's just half sulking because she's had the night out plan that he's trying to like throw a span in the works.

29:27Yeah. Well, he's probably thinking, I'm not staying with the pooch. What are you doing this, Bobby? Nice. Oh, I'm in with the pooch. Yeah, lads, I'm going to the pub. F.A. I'm going out, lads. That's what he's talking about. I love the word pooch. Poochie, poochie. No, thanks. Hi, Abby, Pete, Tudor Bob Ross. Need some advice, please. Two years on, two years ago, my son, who's a doctor, went to Australia. I was only supposed to be going for a year, but has now met a partner and decided to make it his forever home. My other son is away at uni and I'm really struggling with an empty nest. My husband thinks it's time for us, but I've never felt heartache like it.

30:07I long to shout up the stairs, boys, dinner's ready. I spend my days counting down the days until I could see them again, making up silly excuses to ring them and hear their voices. I feel like my life is on hold and I'm not enjoying the moments I should be. My husband's a truly wonderful man and my best friend, but the longing to have our kids close just won't leave me how do I start my new norm when being with them is what brings me the most happiness any advice would be welcome I'll toss that I think you'd struggle with this if they're not really close by that's how I want the bloody compound so they can't leave with electric gates so they get electrocuted when they try and go it's for the cows Wig Wig it's for the cows no I I think that's a dilemma most mothers and fathers face.

30:58And it's hard, you know, when you spend your whole life looking after your kids. Australia's not round the corner, is it? Australia's not round the corner. Even another country you can put up with if you could just nip there, you know, on a weekend or something. That is tough to take. But it's also a reality that you've got to face, you know, the boys aren't going to come and run downstairs with a T anytime soon, are they? I think you just have to try and keep in contact on the phone. That's such a man's perspective. It's not really because that's... Men are always like, well, that's life. So what should she do?

31:31Do well and like be miserable? Or go, that was a great time in my life. I've got all these great memories, but now they're making their memories and I need to make more of my own. She needs to fill up her time. She needs to get... I don't know if she works every day or she needs to get a hobby. It sounds like a fellow wants to go travelling and do stuff and say, this is our time. She could surprise her son and go over and see him in Australia. Yeah. Go travelling. Go and see them in Australia. Make a thing of it. Go and visit that side of the world. Yeah. You know, if you can afford it, try and see some of it.

32:01I'd love to do that. I'd actively encourage our kids to go to Australia. We'll come and see them. I said, do you let's move to Australia? I'd love to. I'd love to. So that's the place you want to go? Really? I do love it, yeah. I just, I think I would love it. I don't know. I've never been, but. I could see you being a surfer doing it on the beach. I'd love it. Definitely. I'd see how many things that would kill you for me. It's just a sunny England with dodgy accents. Sounds great. Yeah, I suppose. Yeah. That's so sad. I'm dreading that day. Because even Sophia, like she towers above me now and I'm like, you can't remember the last day you carried her.

32:39That's mad. There's a day that you pick up your child for the last time. For the last time. Sickening. She's taller than me now. That's a good point. She'll be picking you up soon. I'm going to have to note down the time and date now. I'm just going to pick her up. Yeah. remember this baby remember this one baby what the hell are you doing dad you could still carry her that's what I mean I'm going to go pick her up throw her over my shoulder and then this is love do you remember this she's just a little brother but it's even like all the little ones I used to have all the little ones in the bath together like all three little babies yeah and now like oh I'm not getting in there now I'm getting in the shower yeah yeah yeah so weird oh well okay well listen you know let us know I think I think you definitely try and fill your time definitely try and get over there and you know the phone Zoom there's things to do there's new memories to be made there's new memories to be made but they could do she could do like a Zoom quiz and like everyone like a lockdown quiz but everyone did in lockdown so you know he could set up with his partner in Australia like she could sit with her husband and then her other son and they could just all open a bottle of wine or whatever and all get on the you're forgetting the time difference oh shit it's going to be 8pm isn't it we should click that before we work on the V &O to say it's 10 o 'clock at night and 10 o 'clock in the morning I think it's roughly let's do 8 8 in the morning and 8 at night yeah they can have dinner you can have breakfast together that's all nice together yeah once a week once a month yeah I don't even eat weekly or just once see how it goes the connection issues you are arguing I'm not doing that again no it's sad it is sad I do think that's a nice idea I do as well having a little coffee morning and a coffee evening something like that okay dear Abby Pete and Ross regular listener first time emailer 24 year old male who knew that's like he's about to like put it on me age 6 location I'm a 24 year old man into singing around the campfire play guitar high rocks have a real thirst for life animal lover young dumb and full of cum non-smoking not a smoking server.

34:51A 24-year-old male who only knew Peter from his playing days, listening to his podcast since the first episode, regularly hating his reminders of the 2005 FA Cup, being a West Ham fan. Cheers, Pete. Does he know he's writing into the wrong podcast? Four-year-old me was gutted and it still hurts to this day. But I found myself loving this side of Pete and then getting to know Abby and Ross. I've loved the episodes since the first listen and find myself having them on every time I have to drive anywhere. Anyway, my agony ab is that at 24 years old, I see all my friends in amazing situations, houses, marriage, and some even have kids.

35:29Even though I'm ridiculously happy in life, loving family, amazing girlfriend who I adore and a great job, I still feel I've fallen behind and I need to catch up instead of just enjoying life and taking it as it comes. I'm constantly chasing perfection. Have you got any advice or memories from when you were all 24? And maybe you felt the same as I do. Many thanks, and as Peter always loves, regards to your family. Love the pod. Ryan? Aw, 24's so young. I know, he's getting money to 24, like, and all that. I don't know anyone. It's quite unusual nowadays to have a house at 24. Yeah, literally. Mate, you're doing great, I would say.

36:07If he's got a girlfriend he adores, a loving family, he's happy with his life he's absolutely winning you know it's not you know going back to getting older you can't compare yourself to other people you've got your own path your own journey it's time to change if you're unhappy yeah not if you're happy yeah give yourself a pat on the back I'd say 100 % you're doing great you're still very very young I definitely enjoy it I met you when you were 24 yeah I was 24 yeah we just met yeah Just a young pup. And I felt, yeah, I felt young. Just a young pooch. Yeah. We got married, I was 30 when we got married.

36:48I felt young, very young. You didn't have your first child until you were 31. That's what I mean. So like, and I could have easily left it later, really. Yeah. 35. You've got 10 years there to enjoy yourself. If you're comparing yourself to someone, you'll never, ever be happy. Because no matter how much I compare myself to you, or even you, or my best friend, or a girl down the road, you can never, ever be them. Yeah. So there's just no point. No, I think... And that's when all horrible emotions creep in. They're like jealousy and, you know, feeling insecure and unhappy. If you stop comparing and just focus on yourself, it's a better outcome.

37:29You be you, Queen. Yeah. You be you. Good to have you back, mate. Thanks, Paul. It is. It's good to be back. We'll see you next time, eh? Thanks for listening. Shut up. You shut up.