Garage Living, Hamptons Karaoke & Is Sunbathing Face Down An ICK?!

0:00At Boar's Head, we've been going back to school for over 115 years. And this year, every school lunch is reason to celebrate with the flavors your kids love and the exceptional quality you expect. Helping you make school lunch fresh, easy, and delicious. Ring the bell. The deli is open. Boar's Head. Committed to craft since 1905. This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc. Have you been putting off a doctor's appointment or need a dentist and you don't know where to start? We've definitely been there and that's why we use ZocDoc. Actually, over the holidays, Michael had a dental emergency and seemingly every office was closed.

0:48But we hopped onto ZocDoc, found an in-network dentist, had great reviews, saw real-time appointments available, which was key. It was on New Year's Day and booked an appointment in just minutes. It took so much of the stress out of the already stressful situation. ZocDoc makes it easy to search and compare over 250 ,000 local in-network providers across more than 200 specialties. So you can find the right doctor or dentist and book instantly. Taking care of your health just got easier. Download the ZocDoc app today and book that appointment on your to-do list. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C. ZocDoc. Backmarket is the best place to get the tech you need for back to school, for less.

1:33Like professionally refurbished smartphones to take those first day pics. Mom, your finger's blocking the camera. Or so they can ask you to buy a poster board for the science fair tomorrow. No matter what you need it for, the premium refurbished tech on Backmarket is guaranteed by the Backmarket Promise. Professionally refurbished with a one-year warranty and free 30-day returns. Save now at Backmarket.com. We're trying to do a bit of like phone sex, aren't you? Getting off the pool all wet with your six-pack. Did you enjoy that? Yeah. I could do that again. Getting up on... I just repel the sun, don't I?

2:12You're tan, I've seen you tan. I don't. This is Vitalibriata. Fuck, didn't he play for West Ham? It was 110 million. You are ageing like a fine wine. I thought it was a nice thing you ever said to me. No, that one that smelled like super gigantic. That makes me feel much better. I was getting a bit unnerved.

2:33Hello and welcome to The Therapy Crouch with me, Abby Clancy. And me, Peter Crouch. Hi, and me, Gaz. Hello, guys. You all right? It's nice to have you back on UK soil. It's good to be back together. Oh, God, yeah, last time you were in a studio, weren't you, in New York? Yeah. Where Beyonce recorded. Exactly. Hello, Turf. It wasn't just Beyonce. It was Mick Jagger. It was Tupac, Biggie, Coldplay. Incredible it was. That's unbelievable. But on Times Square. Yeah. Yeah. We had a lot of people in the comments saying, oh, is this that studio that people had spotted it just from the image? Yeah, it's phenomenal.

3:05I had no idea. Oh, it's iconic, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And now the therapy crouch. There you go. Exactly. Elite. Exactly. I have to say, though, in New York there, it was probably cooler than it is here today. Should we explain our setup? Fucking hell. So currently we are, we've moved house, Gaz, as you know. well it's there's a full renovation going on so we've come back we've got three beds in like the pool room garagey kind of thing yeah so we're squatting in our squatting squat is it squatting squatting yeah in your own house we're squatting in our own house and my weekly wine would have to be you know there's numerous places with shade around here guys and you're sitting us well we We were directly in the sun.

3:53We've turned around to this little pond. We're about to fall in the pond. So, yeah, that's my weekly wine. Why did you pick this? I know you're a bit of a sun worshipper. You know what? Yeah, I'm like a lizard to a lamp. I love it. Do you know what? This isn't the first time I've done this as well. I remember in LA. No, you do. You're regular. There was one in LA. I remember that one because I was on the other end of the bloody camera and you'd all just go for a swim. And I was, like, sitting there, like, I've got shit to do here. He was dripping, though. He was dripping. Completely drenched. Much like today.

4:22You were trying to do a bit of phone sex, weren't you? What's that? Like getting off the pool all wet with your six pack. Hassle hop. Hassle hop. Did you enjoy that? Yeah. I could do that again. Getting that pump. Fucking will be the minute. Yeah, just to echo my weekly wine's continuation of that, really. It's obviously like I've got a hay fever. He's not only put me in the sun, he's put me in the bush and the pond. I also feel funny with these mics. I feel like I'm just about to break into song. Like a little, yeah, you can if you like. No, I've had enough of that. Don't fancy it. There was an incident.

4:56We were on holiday in the Hamptons. Which is heaven on earth. I want to live there. It's beautiful there. But the guy, someone had tipped him off, whatever. No, that's not the story. We met this guy. We went fishing. We met this guy, and he was like the Don of the Hamptons. Okay. He was originally from New York. He was a baseball coach for all, like, the top unis. Yeah. and he now resides in the Hamptons. And he said, you know, my grandson's playing in this band tonight. They're up singing, blah, blah, blah. So Lib was like, can we go? And she wanted to sing. So we watched her sing, and then they went to Pete, oh, you're the guy who does the robot.

5:36Can you do the robot? On stage. On stage. Well, that's when you asked me to come up. Oh, okay, right, got you. So then I stitched her up massively. Well, I say stitch her up. She loves it, really. No, I don't. So then Pete goes, yeah, I'll do the robot, but only if my wife can sing Shallow with you. So there was about 200 people in this bar, and they were like, Evie, Evie. So I was just like, I hadn't had one drink, so, you know, if I was pissed, I would have been like a bloody rat of a drainpipe. Can't get her off when she's pissed. But I had to sing Shallow, sober. Well, with the guy who was an incredible singer, but my hand was shaking so much.

6:16I was like that. Do you know what, guys? you could hear a pin drop, right? When he was, because he's, obviously it's Bradley first, Bradley Cooper first, and then Gaga. So everyone was waiting, like, in anticipation. She blew everyone away, honestly. I didn't, it was such a bad rendition. I could tell you were nervous, because you were sober, but she was brilliant. And then, you know, like, the powerful bit. The Yanks, though, they're just like, my God, you should be on stage, man. I was literally getting like you know when you well you're used to doing that you know where you run through the crowd and they're all like high fiving you and patting you on the back and asking for autographs and everything we were eating right and then like we went so it was like she did this hot massive performance and then we went back and finished our ribs that's bizarre wasn't it do you remember can you imagine Lady Gaga doing our show no we just went back and just had to get back to eating our dinner Yeah, I just love their mentality out there, though.

7:18They're so positive. Oh, they are. As a nation. There's an element of me missing sarcasm a little bit. A little bit? Or, you know, a bit... Dry humour. Someone feeling down, do you know what I mean? You've got me for that, sister. There's a little bit of miserableness every now and then. Will you say that's all I am? There's a happy medium somewhere. But the positivity is good. I do like it. You know, everyone's like, we're just walking down the road and I was with my daughter and this woman's just like, oh, my God, you're fantastic. To, like, Sophia. And she's like, what? Sophia couldn't walk down the road without getting stopped at how beautiful she was every two seconds.

8:01Yeah, which is nice. Which is annoying because I don't get a look in now. Yeah, I behave. And what's even worse is that, because Sophia's, like, six foot tall, walking down the, you look like one of them, like, sugar daddies walking down the road holding their hands. I was walking through, we went for lunch and someone shouted like, Crouchy, I know you're with your missus, but can I have a picture? I went, mate, this is my daughter. Didn't it happen to your dad and sister? And they went, ooh, loves Young Dream. And he was like, no, that's my daughter, mate. Oh, my God. Yeah, strange one. Yeah.

8:36Oh, well, there you go. There you go. There you go, that's nice. So coming back then, how long have you been back now in the UK? Three days. Three days. Three days, yeah. Three days living in the garage. Hotter than America. Living in the garage. Yeah, we're in the garage. It's all right. We've got a couple of beds in there. I actually like it. It's cosy, isn't it? You know, we're cooking on this outdoor kitchen and using all our own veg. So last night I sent the kids, because the previous owners of this house were like incredible gardeners and they've got all their own veg. so they picked the kids picked peppers carrots aubergines oh that's nice onions and you know fried them all up we had a lovely barbecue then this morning we've made fresh juice with our own beetroot celery oh you guys rhubarb you know that sounds unreal it's just you know it's a great way to live I think it's phenomenal you know it's kind of what we wanted isn't it yeah I know we're in the garage at the minute but you know the garden's nice it's the worst places to be yeah beautiful no it's unreal and I saw you handle Pete's grapes on a story the other day.

9:44Yeah, well, on the, above the outdoor area here, there's... Carry on. There's grapes. We could make our own wine, which would be ideal for me. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine? Mm-hmm. Is there enough of grape? No, probably not. No, no. No, no. That was a genuine question. Is there enough? I don't know if there's enough grape that you get a little bit of wine. A little thimbleful. A little inch. A little inch. A little inch of wine, yeah. That's always what she says. Should we just have, should we open a bottle of wine? We'll just have a little inch. We'd done three bottles last night. Did you? We did, didn't we?

10:27I didn't. Well, I didn't. It's more you. Animals. On this, have you ever sent a bottle of wine back in your life? To where? Just like to the restaurant or something like this. It's not good. No. Have you never done that? Have you? I had my first ever one. It was in New York last day. Went to a nice oyster wine bar. You scream of that. Sid was in there with Chris. Oh, that nice oyster bar? Yeah. With the bad wine? Well, so we went in. He was like, oh, mate, we come every night. It's our favourite spot. I was like, oh, amazing. Well, we're here for our final. He was in there. Well, he goes to the oyster bar every night.

10:52He told us about it. He's changed. Prawn sandwich. So we sat there. I sat there with my mistress. I had a prawn sandwich yesterday. Did you? Ooh la la. Ooh la la. Got there. I thought I'd be fancy and actually order, and actually pick one and actually put some thought behind it. So I was like, I like this one. I'm going to have this one. And he poured it and I can only describe the smell as like sewage. Oh. And I tried it and it tasted okay. So I was like, oh, it smells a bit weird, but that's fine. Why would you drink some of that smell like sewage? Well, it took him like an hour to find the bottle as well.

11:20It was like the cellar is very deep, but it's going to take a while. So I Googled, should wine smell like farts? And it was like, no, it shouldn't. What a Google that is. And I was like, what do I tell the sommelier or whatever? And they were like, you tell them you're getting notes of sulfur and raw cabbage. So he was like, I got that as well, but I thought you might like that. And I was like, oh, okay. I was like, can I give it back? And he was like, yeah. But you guys are never in your life giving a bottle back. No, but I mean, that sounds grounds for doing that. Yeah, I think so. That sounds legitimate.

11:46Yeah. I just carry on drinking it, even if it's a bad batch. In all honesty, I don't know enough. My best friend, Liberty. My best friend, Liberty, one of her many talents, she is a sommelier. Is she? She's qualified. So she knows absolutely everything there is to know about every wine from every region. And she is a bit... I think we've been to a restaurant where she sent one back. Yeah. Yeah, you have to know what you're saying. I didn't know what I was saying. I just knew it tasted off, you know, that kind of way. So, yeah. Yeah, but with that Chachi BD now, you can do everything. Yeah, you can, honestly.

12:24Can't even say it. My sister. Have you heard of that Claude? Yeah, we use it. I want to use that. It's good. It's good. I don't know my Apple ID, so I can't download any fucking apps. So that's me screwed. It is good, though. But my sister, I said to her, oh, my God, you look amazing. And she said, yeah, I put it into chat GBD. How to, like, improve my skin and a diet plan, because obviously she's getting married next month. I was like, body look phenomenal, skin. And she said, yeah, just give me this full plan, what to eat, how to make your skin glow. You know, I was just like, oh, my God. Is that Claude or Chachubut?

13:02Chachubut. I'm going to do it. Is it B or P? It's T, yeah. T? GPT. GPT. Does anyone know what that stands for? Oh, so it's nearly there. It's a generated pre-trained transformer. Would that be GPTT, no? I took a picture of Jack the other day with Daniel Sturridge, believe it or not. He was at the game. He got a picture of Ian Rush and Robbie Fowler as well. and there was loads of light behind him. Backlit. Backlit, yeah, yeah. And I put it in on that and it just took the light off and it was a perfect picture. A perfect image. Yeah, that's crazy. But isn't it scary then? They're doing that now for even like campaign shoots and stuff.

13:42You don't even have to do a photo shoot. They just do a generated image of you, AI image. It's just way less hassle as well, isn't it? It's kind of crazy. But it does take the creativity and the art out of a lot of things. Yeah. You know, I think people are going to want to want to, want to, should it get away? Go back to real. I agree. I think they'll, you know, everything comes back round, doesn't it? You know, there'll be some good stuff. I saw Elon saying the world's going to be over soon if we let this AI get out of hand. To be honest, I think we'll be fine because we haven't got any AI in here.

14:22We're just about to get used to these cameras. I know. Don't even know what ChatGVT is called. I am literally turning into my mum. I know where they do FaceTime and they're like that. Yeah, it's that one. You know that FaceTime? How do I do that round? Oh, yeah. Get half a head. The thing is, it's like their phones, it's like our kind of this AI stuff. No, my mum's got an iPhone. No, but what I'm saying is that phones for them is going to be what? Phones for you? No, it's our kids are going to be looking at us and going, what, you don't even use, like, Claude. And we're like, what? You know what I mean?

14:53Yeah, yeah, yeah. For us, our parents, them trying to do FaceTime is like mental. Yeah, of course. They can't do it, can they? No. I just get my mum's neck and chest every time. Like, or sub-side down or feet. I love looking at your mum's text messages. There's like three words on the screen. Three words, innit? You've got like... To be honest, you have to go... Hats off for her for knowing how to change the font size. Yeah, fair play. I wouldn't know how to do that. I'd just struggle. I reckon I'd just struggle for life. Couldn't change it. I saw you had loads of screenshots of me on your phone.

15:34Yeah, that was you FaceTiming. I think you were at M &S or something, weren't you? I was at M &S. She was eating me prawn sandwiches as I went round. She was going round, but she was FaceTiming. She's obviously holding her phone and pushing the trolley. Oh, OK, yeah, yeah. And it was facing up. It was so funny. I was just screenshotting of you. I had no idea she'd called me. Oh, really? I could hear her screaming at the kids. Oh, stop. No, you didn't hear me screaming at the kids. Oh, you weren't screaming, but you were going, Jack, get here. Hold my hand. You're on a busy road. We were walking through a car park.

16:10Jack's got a buzz cut now, which is... Yeah. I was crying my eyes out. I remember we talked about it on the last pod, yeah. Oh, did we? It suits him. I think it really suits him. I think he looks great. Do you like it? I really do. I know you like the long hair, don't you? You love the long hair. I like Memrick long hair. Yeah. He looked nice with the long hair. Men, boys, little boys. Yeah. You're right there? Men, little boys, little boys. No, because I called him a man. He's not a man, is he? He's a little boy. He's a little boy. He's a little boy. But I've got some weekly wines if you want to crack on a dose.

16:40Yeah, go on.

16:45This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc. Have you been putting off a doctor's appointment or need a dentist and you don't know where to start? We've definitely been there and that's why we use ZocDoc. Actually, over the holidays, Michael had a dental emergency and seemingly every office was closed. But we hopped onto ZocDoc, found an in-network dentist, had great reviews, saw real-time appointments available, which was key. It was on New Year's Day and booked an appointment in just minutes. It took so much of the stress out of the already stressful situation. ZocDoc makes it easy to search and compare over 250 ,000 local in-network providers across more than 200 specialties.

17:28So you can find the right doctor or dentist and book instantly. Taking care of your health just got easier. Download the ZocDoc app today and book that appointment on your to-do list. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C. ZocDoc. Backmarket is the best place to get the tech you need for back to school, for less. Like professionally refurbished smartphones to take those first day pics. Mom, your finger's blocking the camera. Or so they can ask you to buy a poster board for the science fair tomorrow. No matter what you need it for, the premium refurbished tech on Backmarket is guaranteed by the Backmarket Promise.

18:06Professionally refurbished with a one-year warranty and free 30-day returns. Save now at Backmarket.com.

18:16Okay, we'll get into some wines then, shall we? This is from Chris. Hello, Pedro, Abby and Gaz. My wife and I love the pod. My wife. It's now become a regular highlight of our car journey, especially pre-holiday. It started with my wife, my wife, putting them on and has now reached the point where I ask for them to go on. I really need your help to regain my manliness. On a recent holiday to Greece, my wife informed me that I gave her the yik on several occasions. once for sunbathing lying on my front with my arms by my side. Imagine that. Oh, my God. She looked and said, oh, move now. Ick. At my position.

18:53I stopped drinking alcohol in 2020, so on holidays, I also order... Ick. I order mocktails. Oh, God, love it. When the waitress came over, my wife ordered her a margarita, and I said, I'll have a pink innocence, please.

19:10Imagine lying, sunbathing on your front and leaning back and just saying, Pink innocence, please. Pink innocence. I give me the... She said, It arrived in a huge fishbowl with petals on. She couldn't look at me holding it. One morning, while getting dressed, I was singing How Far I'll Go from Moana to myself. Banger. When I looked up, she was shaking her head and then making a gagging sound. Oh, my God. At the end of the holiday, a couple we met asked if we'd had a good week, and my wife was filling them in and then concluded with, and I think my husband has finally grown a vagina. Arthur's turned into Martha.

19:49That's a good one. Whenever we watch TV or films, my wife always says, Fjord, Tom Hardy and Jason Momoa type men, like proper man's men. Who's Jason Momoa? He's Aquaman. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You wouldn't kick her out of bed You know if I said something like that That was a joke Is he like Thor? Not Thor Like the Zeus thing in the sea We went to see that didn't we? I bet you did We went together We went in Not Times Square Leicester Square remember? We went to Leicester Square to watch Aquaman We did. Who were we? I don't know. No, not a premiere. Just one afternoon. Just to see it. Fair play. All right.

20:41Well, apparently Abby's a big fan as well. Now I've done triathlons, competed in open water, cold swimming. Sorry, open cold water swimming. Okay. So like lake swimming. Swim in the sea. Could you just call it open water? Yeah, I think so. Pretty much. Fresh water. I guess cold makes it more hard. I work out and I'm pretty buff. I work out. He's not modest. i'm no worse describe yourself as buff as an ick yeah that's another yeah chris is getting powders even competing in open cold water swimming did you write this one in chris okay all right mate you are buff though you are are you into open cold water swimming are you partial this is actually he rides bike motorbikes I know that's what I'm saying alright and after after his sick boy over there he probably is off the alcohol well yeah that's true actually he had one evening with the crouches he's on pink innocence now absolutely threw up not dying times okay we say it's no worse I've recently started to get into yoga oh he's a legend this guy meditation and breath work stop drinking I'm looking after myself rather than regularly smashing myself up I no longer feel the need for that intensity More self-love, if you will.

21:56Being more reflective. All the things that men are encouraged to do these days. I'm here for that. I know my wife adores me. She tells me all the time. She's stunning and a wonderful person. But I'm worried that my wife thinks I'm getting too femme. Help me, please. I appreciate you. He's sign off like how he's good. I appreciate you, man. That was a good message. That was an ick from you in New York. I appreciate you. I appreciate you to everyone. He's copying you. my man I appreciate you my man I appreciate you man no Pete's my man my man I appreciate you my man do you know what I'm just like sitting there in England I would say thanks mate or appreciate thanks mate cheers but over there it did turn into man my man was it my man I appreciate you my man with a little twang I was just like you know what you were there 10 days and by the end you were saying I appreciate you no I I remember that exact moment.

22:55I actually said, I appreciate that. Thank you. I appreciated what they did. No, it doesn't start like that. I was saying it in a completely different context. That's how I started. I started with, I appreciate that. Because they say, I appreciate you, man. They do say that a lot, right? And I ended up saying it. But it started with, I appreciate that. You're a Nick. So I think it's a problem, this, because he's taking positive steps. Yes. You know, but, you know, having that drink is... But sunbathing on the front is outrageous. I actually think he sounds really cute. I like everything that he's done.

23:36Yeah, but if I was doing that, if I was sunbathing on my front and I had a flowery drink, I think you'd pull... No, I don't think a flowery drink's much. Sunbathing on my front would be... You don't sunbathing, you're still so brown. Look how brown he is. I don't like sunbathing. I'm not a fan of it. You're not? No. How do you get your tan? It's just peeing out. I don't understand how he has this tan because it's all over his body. Yeah. You know, I'll sunbathe for three hours and have a triangle of cerise pink there and prickly eat. Like, I just repel the sun, don't I? You get tan, I see your tan.

24:08I don't. This is Vita Libriata. Didn't he play for West Ham? He sounds like it was 110 million offensively filled flat.

24:18And I don't go in this. I have all the Factor 50 on now because I'm trying to reverse my age. There's a real thing about women, I think, now, isn't there? Wearing massive hats and loads of Factor on their face. Yeah, because we get all these pigmentation spots. I went to Natalie Kelly and got my laser the other day because it was just outrageous. Pigmentation. Oh, from sun damage, is that? Sun damage. Right, got you. I didn't realise that when I played football, I've told this story I think 15 times on this podcast, but I'm going to tell it again. Boring! That face ting. Ting? Did you say ting?

24:56No, face ting. You know what I'm saying? Batman, what are you doing? They do think where you see your sun damage, and it's incredible. The footballers in general as well, because we're outside, and even when it's cloudy, you still get done by the sun. It's the UV. Yeah, the UV, yeah. You get done by the sun. You do, you get done by the sun. You do. We'll play it. It's training, I guess. Yeah, like every down hour and every single day, even if it's cloudy. I wasn't putting on factor. And when you look at your face and the damage that's done, it is terrible. But men look good weathered. Do you think?

25:33Yeah, like you're aging like a fine wine. Thank you, babe. That's like, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. No, that one that smelled like sewage. Do you get it?

25:46That makes me feel much better. I was getting a bit unnerved there. I'm being nice to you because I'm making changes in this house. Oh, you're right, okay. Expensive changes. Expensive changes. Yeah. The whole house has got it. I can't believe it. It's a lot of, yeah. But it needs, this is our, do it bad, do it cheap, do it ten times. Yeah, this is what I keep hearing. Yeah, it's true though. I've heard that in every room. Yeah, but you like, so Pete's just decided to, like the kitchen's just about, the floor's just about to be laid. I got the most sensational floor from this tile shop called La Pascida and it's like a reclaim Is that the same as the Tarn company?

26:31No, Vitalibriata That's probably not how you say it We're getting a pair of them A pair of me filled it And What was it called again? La Pascida That's a lovely word Beautiful La Pascida And it's hundreds of years old Reclaimed limestone from Italy And it's come and it was about to be laid And Pete's like We need to open this door out I want to see the garden Yeah, yeah, yeah And he has these ideas And then starts moaning about the price Yeah, yeah, yeah I've got all the ideas And then I scrap them all When I get the coat through So my ideas are brilliant But none of them get put in place Number one, because I'm not in charge of the whole development.

27:13And number two, they cost too much. Pete was like nearly crying yesterday. We did a walkthrough with Joe. Joe has helped me with the house. I don't know why I was there. He's like in his office. He's like, I'd like the telly there. Joe's like, oh, no, you can't have the telly there. But I'd like it there. And then I'm like, Pete, you can't have it there. Because that's where the artwork's going. It needs to get. So Peter's like... Bear in mind, this is the one room I've got in the house, right? And it's my office. You're never going to go in there. Never. Not once. Oh. And so I went... And it's glossed.

27:49So hold on a minute. So I'm looking at a wall that's right there, and the desk is here, and the chair's here, and I thought, that'd be great. So I'll go in there in the mornings, and I'll have Sky Sports News on or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just catch up on the football. So there's a bit of banging going on in the bedroom? Yeah, if you hear that. Yeah. Some construction. It's a banking. very good I might watch the Sky Sports or something catch up on things and now I've got to look that way it's because it's not I think it's a picture going there or something is there or some my caps or something yeah your England caps yeah so yeah my whole day now is going to be that like on the swivel I love that you've got one room of people telling you what you can't but it wasn't even Abbey it was Joe's working like from Tiles right she's um she just went there's no way we can do that Pete no didn't even bat an eyelid and then Pete's like this cabinetry would be really nice this cold pizza Joe's like no it's gonna be gloss it's gonna be gloss Pete I'm like what gloss that doesn't sound manly it doesn't sound very very masculine gloss is back sister what for a man gloss sounds like I don't know I don't even know what it is but it's so shiny it's shiny Have they given you scams, like mock-ups of what it's going to look like?

29:08Yes. Have you got all them? I trust the process. I am trusting Abby and Joe's process. I am not that bothered. I would like my TV front on, if I'm being totally honest. Okay. You might get a little bit of pushback there. Yeah. Well, you can't because Adam's already knocked the wall. I just didn't. Okay. I just said you might. Didn't say you will. Okay. Neil Biggerstaff. Great name. Great name. Great name. He says, I live in Canada. and frequently I frequent the US often. Frequent? Frequent, yeah. Hang out, go via. Frequent? Wouldn't you say frequent? Frequent, isn't it? I think it is frequent, yeah.

29:45Oh, lovely. It's spelt frequent. It means two different things, doesn't it? Just caught last week's episode talking about UK versus US tipping cultures. I've worked in the restaurant industry for 20 years as a general manager. You don't need to tip if the service is bad. There is an option to opt out. Maybe they just abuse the tourist if the service is crap, I don't tip. If the servers complain about tips, that's a red flag to me, saying they're not giving good service. What do you think, Neil? I get this, right, but we've had a few from American people who've said their daughters work in restaurants.

30:17And quite often they don't pay the staff. I was just about to say that. Which is terrible. So my auntie worked her whole life in the hospitality industry. And you do rely on those tips. Yeah. Because, you know, especially for the kids as well, if they're not getting paid exceptionally well anyway, those tips just make a huge difference. However, going to get acrylic nails done and a pedicure that cost$1 ,000 and then you had to pay a 20 % tip on top was not okay. That's fucking ridiculous. I nearly died. I'm surprised you'd die. You know, when you go into a nail shop, you think it's going to be normal nail prices.

31:01Me, Sophia and Lib got our nails done and our toes and it was$1 ,000. I just couldn't believe it. I was like, sorry, what? Yeah, it's astronomical, isn't it? Astronomical. Yeah. But I also... I do get it, though. But I think they're getting out of jail at the restaurants and stuff. It's out of order. You've got to pay staff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fully agreed. Do you know what I mean? And then that should be on top. You should have a wage. And then, you know, if you're doing that, it's not right. Can I say they've come back to the UK, went out for dinner at the weekend and the service was slow and bad.

31:32At least in America, they were right on you. Here's your ice water, here's your straw. Maybe it does make the service better. What I did notice in America, though, which was not okay, was the single-use plastics. Oh, everywhere. Everywhere. I could not believe it. Trump, if you're listening, sort it out. Sort your shit out, mate. Go, Greta Thunberg, over here. No, but I couldn't believe it. No, I agree. I just couldn't. Even on the beach, you'd order, say, lunch to the... We were sitting on the beach, order lunch to the sunbeds. Everything came with plastic, plastic things, plastic lids, plastic cutlery, plastic straws, plastic cups, and they'd just get binned, and they didn't even recycle.

32:17I was so shocked, and there was so much of it on the beach. Yeah, I feel like we're definitely doing our bit here. We're trying. You know, it could always be better, but you've got to have a look, haven't we? Yeah. Absolutely. Of course we'll have a look. What's that? That sounds pervy. It's a football saying. Yeah. What sounds pervy? It's not pervy. It's actually not. It's a VAR thing. It's a VAR call from Steve McManaman originally. Yeah. It's funny. But no, good spot, actually. I completely forgot that, but yeah, it was plastic everywhere. Because they had the biodegradable everything, and then he went back.

32:54He was like, want a bad straw? and he went back and said, like, we'll go to the regular straw, the plastic straw. Oh, so it's actually been addressed. So they had it, and he reneged on it and said, I don't like these biodegradable ones. They go wet in your mouth. I'm not a fan of those straws, if I'm being totally honest. I don't mind a straw. You just have to drink quicker. I don't mind a straw, but I think, you know, consistently bringing out stuff when you could just have a plate and wash it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean. Do you have loads of metal straws in this house? Do you ever use them?

33:25We don't have straws, full stuff. Do you not? I'm not a fan of a straw. I take them out. Is it exclusive? Not a fan of a straw? No, I mean, listen, it's groundbreaking. Me neither. I mean, the stuff you get on this podcast, you don't get anywhere else. I am not a fan of a straw. That is it. You heard it here first. Are you? No. Don't like straws. I thought they meant to bypass your teeth. I thought they'd go in your back tooth. Yeah. And localise and, you know, if it's sugary. Oh, really? I think so. Like, if you're having a Coke at McDonald's, it'll just hit the back tooth and just write it. It puts the straw to the back of your mouth.

33:58Where'd you put it? On the top? I put it just there. You just put a tiny bit in? Yeah. Shut up. Did you put the whole straw in your mouth? I deep broke the straw in. You're so weird. Your mouth is so weird, though. What did you mean? Why is my mouth weird? It works in a funny way. It works in a funny way? You've got a real problem in my mouth, haven't you? It's the tongue. It's got a mind of its own. Why does it offend you? It doesn't offend me, but I notice it. I see you sometimes just looking at my mouth and flabbergasted. I like your mouth. I'm just saying your tongue is very active. It's an active tongue.

34:35It's a good thing, isn't it? It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing, I'll tell you. Better than having an inactive one. But a straw right down the back of your mouth is odd. I don't actually deep throat the straw. I'm saying like... I've never had a straw touch my back tooth. No, it's not the straw. It's the liquid that jets in there. Whereas if you sit... How hard do you suck in the straw? Jets in? This is what I have to deal with. This is my life. Fucking hell. I hope this isn't taken out of context. All right, babe. You know we did the World Cup of everything last time. Oh, yeah, I enjoyed that.

35:09It was a lot of fun. Well, yeah, we had a lot of people write in and say, do that again. But this time we're going to do it with 90s versus the 2020s. Is that what they're called now? I don't know what we're... I don't know what... I never know what to say. because you say 80s, 70s, 80s, 90s. Naughties. I hate saying naughties. I think you're... That's an ick. If you say naughties, I think you're a bit of a bell. What are we now? But then tens. Would you say tens? Tens? What do you mean tens? Would you say tens as us the youngsters? Yeah, what would you say? Tens. Tens. Tens it is. Twenties. I've never heard that.

35:42Twenties? We're back to the... No, 2000s. I'd say the 2000s. 2010s. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you go back there. 2020s, 2013. 2020s? But I think for these lot, if you're born in the 90s, it's only ever been 10s and 20s. I don't get it. Say you're born in 2000. Yeah. Then you'd say 10s and 20s probably, wouldn't you? But for us, we'd say 2010s because we remember the 1900s. Which sounds ancient, doesn't it? 1900s, but 21st century. Yeah, true. Let's say 21st century. Fair. That's better. That's fair. All right. As you go through these, don't let nostalgia blind you because there's some nostalgia ones there.

36:24I'm like, they're wonderful. But try to think about it impartially. I think you're always biased to nostalgia. Because I've looked at the first one, I know straight away what I'm going for. Is it music? No, it's Panda Pops or Prime. It's a Panda Pops of the 90s. What's a Panda Pop? Oh, my. You don't know what a Panda Pop is. Is that a nice pop? You definitely know Panda Pops. Oh, the fizzy. The little Panda Pop. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Full of e-numbers. We'd never say pop. You wouldn't say pop up north? No. It's called that though, isn't it? Is it called Pounder Mop? I wasn't really allowed then. What would you call them up north?

36:57Fizzy drink. Here's another exclusive for you. Here we go. We went to the Isle of Wight and I don't think I've ever admitted this. We went to the Isle of Wight on a school trip and my mate Ed and Rob, there was a dancing competition.

37:17Here we go. And we entered. and this is amazing. You're not going to believe this. You were talking about this the other day? Have I told you, though? No, you haven't told me this, but you said you did a dance. No, no, it was a different one. We did a Michael Jackson dance. Oh, okay. We were into dancing. Oh, yeah. Oh, Sean did Bobby Brown, so you can play that game. I did a Michael Jackson dance. It's a whole different story for me and my four mates. And this one was, we did a dance competition and the winner gets a panda pop fight to drink because we were only allowed only one pound a pot for the winners and they're the Rob Twins my good pals, they won it but I said I won it as well but I didn't because I said we're like a group, we're a team and they said you didn't win I did win I just told everyone that I won were you in the dance?

38:14no, it was an individual thing they couldn't split them two up and I wasn't even considered Oh, because they're twins? Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah, and they won. But I just said I did and took one and told everyone that I had won as well. But the worst thing is, he actually did the robot. No way. Yeah, he did. Wow. So he started the robot. Really. You took him on to do a rendition. And he always says to me, like, you're a fraud. But you said you invented the robot? I've never told anyone that, but, you know, I did. So it was meant to be, basically. Well, basically, listen, I think. You've been doing it since you were a young thing.

38:54Michael Jackson was, you know, was, you know, you've got to get your inspiration from somewhere, haven't you, you know? Yeah. And I honed that skill, and I did make it my own, but I would like to congratulate Ed and Sean Wright Phillips. Someone messaged me last night. Because he did it as well. Did he? Sean Wright Phillips. Yeah. I love him. But I feel like what I did for the robot was take it mainstream. Yeah. You know, put it on the world stage. We're playing for England. They were doing it in the streets of New York. No, I think I took it to... I think I probably took it just to... I made the public aware of it.

39:26It was more underground before me. Jack loves Michael Jackson now because we went to see the show in New York. We watched the movie. We put the songs on and he's like... Okay, so we're going to go... What are we going with, Panda Pops or Prime? Remember, he talks about Prime. I've never drank Prime. Me neither. I wouldn't dream of it. So I'm going Panda Pop. I think so as well. The kids these days, they love it though, don't they? Yeah. What, the Prime? They do love Prime. Jack got one of them Mr. Beast chocobars, didn't he? The world's changing, isn't it? YouTube is releasing it. The world. I got into Gatorade quite a bit when I was in America.

40:02On the golf course. I think that's the best of those. Is that the blue one? I like the green, lemon and lime one. Get them on the golf course and stuff. I wouldn't dream of drinking anything like that. You know what? I think they're, I don't know. Is it electrolytes? Yeah. It feels that way. I like electrolytes, but the effervescent ones. Oh, that's a great word, isn't it? Effervescent. Great word. Yeah. Okay. I think we'll go panda pops, right? Blue WKDs or Picardy Breezes. I think we should do a word thing on this pod. A word thing? Because this guy I follow on Instagram, and he's like super posh, and he has like the most incredible words.

40:42Oh, vocabulary. Vocabulary. He doesn't wear a waistcoat, does he? Yeah, he's very posh. Yeah, I think I know the guy. If anyone you think is a complete c***, use this word. And it's like... Brilliant. Like, we should do a word thing. Well, we did it on the Peter Crouch poll. We had Susie Dent for a long time. And she explained lots of, like, words that we use. Like, shithouse was one of them. Yeah. And the origins of shithouse. She did the definitions, but we should do... No one said, I'm hungry. You use this word. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, word of the week. Okay, so I've got one here, babe, right? Go on.

41:16Blue WKDs and Bacardi Breezes versus espresso martinis and 0 % lagers. I feel that's geared up to, like, go old school there, that question. It is a bit. Because 0 % lagers. Yeah. Okay, so what is more comparable, then, to a Bacardi? Should we just say it? I think a zero alcohol beer is great. You know, back in the day, they used to taste like syrup. Now they're identical, and especially the Guinness is phenomenal. I think zero Guinness is top. Do you know what? You like that, do you? What's nostalgic for me there was hooch. I used to drink hooch and Caribbean twist. I think the hooch. Do you remember Anfield back in the day?

41:51I remember the Liverpool-Newcastle game, 4-3. There was on the stand there, like the Kenny Dalglish stand there, they used to have hooch all the time. I think it was made in Liverpool. Yeah, because it was the only hooch in the Premier League was in that corner there. Yeah, I actually remember that. Yeah, I always remember Stan Collymore, Robbie Fowler, and watching those teams, and there was always a little hooch, and someone leaning over it. Yeah, it was a Liverpool brand. I'm almost certain. Yeah, well, it felt like it was definitely more Liverpool. I used to have hooch as well, but it was more breezes in London.

42:30Smirnoff Ice. WKD, I don't like that blue taste. Do you not? I don't like anything blue. Did you ever try Cheeky Vimto? It was WKD blue and port, and you put them together. Do you know, I nearly vomited. the other day when I drank a Dr. Pepper. Do you not like it? Oh, my God. I could not believe. Oh, they're good, do you? They are good. I don't mind a Dr. Pepper. It was the worst taste I've ever tasted in my entire life. Do you think we're kind of weaning off fizzy drinks as a nation? We don't. Or not? No. No. No, not at all. We should be, shouldn't we? We should be. We should be. But I think it tastes funny because we actually don't eat a lot of sugar, if you think about it.

43:10we don't do we no and now we're living off the land and everything when I taste some twats like I like I like a fizzy Haribo or something like that I do love like a jelly but we don't have them often so if I have something sweet and artificial it's really I'm like yeah but that's it when you get yourself off the sugar and stuff like that actually going back to it feels like a mad rush absolute rush because you're you're off it you're right totally I guess if people stop drinking alcohol as well they've won pint They're absolutely gone straight away. Well, listen, some of the best days of my life have been on Bacardi Breezers.

43:46So there's no way an espresso martini or a 0 % can ever replicate that. I've made mistakes. I've had the times of my life on those things. On a Bacardi Breezer. And I think, you know, I do like an espresso martini, though. If you go into a lovely restaurant and instead of dessert, you'd have that. I'm not saying I'd like them. I like them with a bit of Baileys in. I like anything with Baileys. 15 breezes in the 90s. In the 80s at New Year's Eve. Nothing better. But did they get you pissed? Probably not. There's more sugar than alcohol. You know, Jane said, have you heard of those like bomb things that people drink?

44:27Buzz balls. Buzz balls. Yeah. Jane, my friend said, a daughter's asked for one for a birthday. And the mum was like, when are you going to drink that? And she said, well, maybe I could just have a little sip every day before school.

44:44Micronose. She is 18. No, she didn't know what it was. No, she was the young girl. She just didn't know what it was. She just heard, like, everyone talking about it. And my mum was like, absolutely not. A little pause before school. I got caught on the back of a bus with a bottle of Lamborghini going to school once. Oh, yeah? Six girls, we took a bottle of Lamborghini to the park one night, and we didn't finish it. So we thought it'd be a fabulous idea to bring it to school with us the next day. Legend. So we brought it on the back of the bus, clearly showing off. There was only like a third of it gone.

45:16Yeah. And we were all having a swig and the teacher was in the car behind the bus. No way. And saw us. I got put on report for that. Did you? Yeah. Oh, my God. I was like, we didn't even drink it like last night, you know, between six of us. Fair play to you though You took it to Reynolds Park That was the vibe back then Wasn't it Going to the park I remember getting a load Of K cider Sitting in the park And hating every second Of it for being there Yeah I hated it So I was petrified You can imagine me I was just going What are we doing here Yeah And it just didn't We just walked round the park Drinking cider That's all you did And then went home I was like That is the weirdest evening Of all time I shouldn't actually Break that down Excellent Yeah Do you know Also that I remember it vividly.

46:03My friend Steph, when she was having her sip in the park, like putting the bottle to her mouth, a fucking big golden retriever ran off and jumped on her. And it just went all through. Like, ah! So you spill half it and still didn't get through it. And we got into so much trouble and it was so unjust because we were like, we've literally had a sip each. Yeah, but that's not... Like, back then, I mean, I was so focused on being a footballer. I just didn't want to drink. No. But I pretended that I wanted to. The young kids now don't drink, which I think is great. Yeah, I noticed that. So good. It's quieter in the pubs now.

46:41Is it? Across the board, yeah. Gladiators or Love Island? Oh! You're a Love Islander. I love Gladiators, though. You knew Christmas was coming. Yeah. I feel like it's nostalgia. If you take the nostalgia out, unfortunately I can't. I wanted to go on that travel later so bad. Oh, so did I. Dan's the producer of that. You should go on there. Oh, you'd be... Yeah, that'd be class. There's some things I'd be all right at, I reckon. Yeah. But some, I wouldn't. It's a tricky one. Because as a show, which one is just the objectively slightly better show? Love Island's way more popular. I'd say as a show, Gladiator, hands down.

47:18Like, Love Island really is people, like, shagging on TV. People... There's a market for it. Although I'm a huge sucker for it. I love it. But it's, you know, as a concept. But then you could, like, the very first episode, it's like Big Brother, the first episodes when people didn't go on it to be famous. Exactly. They were great. Yeah. But people didn't go on Gladiators to be famous, did they? Oh, no, you went on there to take on the wolf. Our national treasure in Liverpool, Eunice Huthart. She won it. She won the Gladiators. Oh, God, yeah, I remember her. Yeah, she judged a competition. Why is it when they're Scousers?

47:52Everyone gets right behind them, you know what I mean? It's like Craig. I always remember Craig from Big Brother. Yeah. He was a Scouser. I did a singing competition when I was a little girl, and Eunice was the judge. Really? Eunice. One of the doormen at the Broadway Boulevard nightclub, I think that was Rhino. The Rhino of Shadow. He had lovely eyes, Rhino. Right, yeah. He was the bouncer. He had green eyes, didn't he? Yeah, he did have green eyes, yeah. I think he threw me out a couple of times. So what's your winner? Gladiators, sorry. Although I am a huge No Violet fan That's a tough one But gladiators CDs and top 40 countdowns Spotify wraps and playlists See for the technology Spotify is incredible But there was nothing better Than buying a CD Going to Woolworths And buying now 34 R price Straight down to R price For HMV I used to do Woolworths And HMV Did you?

48:50We had an R price I think it might have changed To HMV actually In Broadway I saw a funny meme About this on, I don't know why I call them memes, that's probably not even what they're called, but on, you know, it's like what our kids have compared to what we had, and it would be like learning a song, like you go on Spotify and the lyrics just come off, and we used to be like that, press and stop, rewind, writing it down, play. What did he say? Like, did someone staple the vicar? Staple the vicar. Oh, is that the p.k.? You'd have to pause it, listen to it, pause it, rewind, write it down, and you'd do the whole song.

49:28Yeah. Take about an hour to... You would, yeah. But I used to, like... You'd still get it wrong. Even the artwork, you know, because you spent, like,$30.99 or whatever it is on an album, you'd get it home and you'd open everything and you'd look at all the pictures of bands and stuff. The lyrics would be in there, actually. But you'd look at all the pictures, they'd have all different, like, a photo shoot. I was always very interested in when the song started and completed. The time. The time. No, so it'd be like we started this song in, you know, 2001, and finished it in 2007. Oh, like the production of it?

49:57Yeah. Oh, right, okay. I remember vividly a Coldplay song where I was like, fucking hell, five years to make it. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I did it. We used to have all the credits on it as well. I know you still get that now, but yeah, you'd take time to read it all, wouldn't you? I'm going to say, though, taking nostalgia out of it, Spotify is incredible. It's up there with Ray of Water, isn't it? It's one of the best dimensions. Although I still haven't gotten my own account. So every time, I've got my brothers, so every time I go on, it's like, eat it. I'm trying to put a bit of Janet Jackson on.

50:30He turns it to Kings of Leon or something. Mine's been hijacked completely by the kids as well. So now I've got, like, you know, really, like, my favourite's, like, Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodriguez. And what are the kids' kids? S-A-D-A. Do you remember S-A-D-A? Yeah. Who's S-A-D-A? Who's S-A-D-A? I was like,

50:57hey, who's this? We are getting old, you know. Hey, who's this? Who's been on this for? All right, listen, that I think is, that's a whole episode. Let's go back to that, all right? There's millions more and I want to get through them. We'll finish it next week. Yeah. But we'll finish them next week. Well, we've run out of time, unfortunately. Well, that is a real shame because I enjoyed that today. I did enjoy the searing heat with a jumper on but I did enjoy the podcast It's good to see you guys again It's good to be fresh Did I tell you when someone thought I was leaking in Portugal? Leaking?

51:37What like sweating? What kind of leaking? I had I had boob You can't put this in You can't I had boob Sweat And someone come over and said excuse me you're leaking and I was like no I'm not I hope it was a woman no it was a woman yeah I wasn't leaking I was just sweating oh you're like lactating lactating did she think you were pregnant or something postpartum did she actually think that yeah she said oh just to let you know you're leaking hon and it was just boob sweat unbelievable yeah well what we do we'll leave you on that note no that's not going in I think so it is no it's not it's not no because I don't want anyone to think I sweat oh god You'll notice people sweat, that's a natural function, you know?

52:24So we'll leave you on that boob sweat now. He went. Beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah.

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