Hall Passes, Pregnancy Rows & Why Peter Threw Sausages Out The Window

0:00I was running with her, saw her fall, but I had to get to the tree as well.

0:04Abbey Clancy: I want to see if your broad bean's bigger than his. What was your favourite childhood game, Abs? Hide and seek. The classic. Yeah, hide and seek. It was a no for me. I really... It was the only time in my life that I... People say, I'm not just some kind of piece of meat, you know. Oh my God!

0:27Abbey Clancy: Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch. Ask Me Anything with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch. And me, Gaz. How are we? All good. Are you going to ask me some things or what? I certainly am. Ask me anything. Sure, bye. We recently brought our dream house around 18 months ago.

0:50Something's just flashed up on my phone while I was reading that. Courtney Cox has split from her Snow Patrol husband. Oh no, Johnny! Why is that breaking news on my phone? She dating Snow Patrol? Was she?

1:01Abbey Clancy: Yeah. Courtney Cox? He writes all the songs with Ed. But how is that important enough to disturb my reading of Ask Us Anything? Is that true? She's A-list, isn't she? But that's not like... I think that breaking news flashes up should be like someone's died. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not someone's split. I think it's splitting from the husband. I follow this good news news. Have you seen that on Instagram? No. So it's just like all good things that are happening in the world that you don't know about. That's good. It's good news. They found like a species of animal that they thought was extinct and it's not.

1:45And now, you know, or, you know,

1:48Abbey Clancy: I can't even think of anything else good. You know, you don't forget the gist of it. No, but that makes sense because when you watch the news, it's only bad news. I don't watch the news for that reason. Why is the news only bad news? It shouldn't be, should it? No. It does feel that way. It's always glum, isn't it? Is that a word? Yeah. Just said it. Does it feel like a glum? Yeah, glum's a word. Is it? You can have that. What did you say? He said the word glum. Do you know when you say a word and you don't think it's a word? Glum. You ever said that? Glum, yeah. Yeah. Said that weird. They built their dream house 18 months ago.

2:25We love it. All is perfect and I can sense you're expecting the but already. We're out in the countryside, so classed as semi-rural. Our nearest shop is a five-minute drive or a walk into the village. It takes around 30 minutes. I have a 16-year-old and a 14-year-old who wants to move somewhere close to the shops, bus routes, train stations, etc., which I do completely get. But by moving closer to those things, we will be giving up the land, the bigger house and the beautiful views. I drop the kids everywhere they want and pick them up at any time it's never a problem what would you do in this situation?

2:59I have terrible mum guilt I'd just say shut the fuck up

3:02Abbey Clancy: you'll be able to drive in two years get over it and you can make comments like that when you buy your own house fair enough am I taking their childhood away from them? I used to be able to walk out my front door straight into my friend's house etc thanks for your help I think that's great advice It's not a sacrifice, is it? Like if you've got a bigger house with more land and, you know, that's a privilege.

3:32Abbey Clancy: I think it may be boring for them. Do kids nowadays, you know, I don't even think it's safe, that's safe in the UK for kids to just walk around and walk to the local shops and all of that. You know, it's not like when we were kids. You know, we'd be, there she goes again, grandma. but you know we'd be out in the street till like 10 o 'clock at night and just playing and it'd be like and I suppose that kind of sense of community does happen in a lot of places still but it's not that safe anymore I insist on dropping my kids off I know what you mean even if they were like even if they were like you know can we get the train into London I'd be like absolutely not I'll take you well our kids had a friend we moved house now but our kids had a friend literally around the corner.

4:21I mean, it was a 20 second walk, 30 second walk on a quiet road. Yeah. But I'd still walk around there. Yeah, or their mum or dad would walk their little girl.

4:32Abbey Clancy: Yeah. Jazzy to us. We wouldn't let them go, would they, on their own? Which is mad, isn't it, really? That is. No, I think that's sensible. I think like, but the playing out on the road side of things, you know, people in estates and stuff. I used to love going out, knocking on doors and just playing out on the curb, that kind of thing. People don't do that now, do they? I suppose not. I don't actually know. Knockador Dash. Knockador Dash? Is that where you knock and run? What do you call it? What do you call it? Knock, knock, run. That one. Knock, knock, run. Yeah. Is that where you just have to go?

5:00Knock down ginger. Yeah. Did you ever play polo? P-O-L-O? You stood on one side. Do you ever play this? Is that like Bulldog? No, Bulldog was good though. That's a banger. No, you'd stand on one side and three people would stand on the other and you'd say a theme. You'd be like trees and then they all like confer and they go like Christmas, birch, I don't know, oak. And then you go Christmas. And then whoever said Christmas, you have to race them across the curb and you go P-O-L-O. And then whoever races back in time. Does that make any sense? I've explained that well, haven't I? Thank you, mate.

5:33Yeah, cheers. Lovely explanation. Never played it though. No, good game. Good game. What was your favourite childhood game, Abs?

5:42Abbey Clancy: I used to quite like hide and seek. Oh my god. Hide and seek. The class. Hide and seek. That's your best game. Beat hide and seek. Tick. Tick. Stuck in the mud. That is such a boring... That's the worst game, babe. Stuck in the mud was quite good. Stuck in the mud's good, yeah. I tell you what the best game is. That new game that we play, Tip the Can, or whatever it's called. Tip the Can. How do you play that? 40-40, basically. Hang on. How's that game? No, I don't know. Yeah, so you're like, say you're on the tree or whatever, and everyone goes to hide, and then you've got to get back to the tree without getting tagged.

6:24Oh, okay, got you. So that's a bit of everything mixed in.

6:27Abbey Clancy: It's a bit of bulldog, it's a bit of hide and seek, it's a bit of tick. That sounds like the ultimate game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ultimate game. We played it in our garden the other day, and I completely misjudged the wall. Went to jump over a wall and just cut my whole leg. It was just bleeding and smashed off. You're joking. You know that scarred my leg, Pete? I know it has, yeah. Like, I've got problems. I'm sorry I didn't pick you up, babe, but I kind of had to get back to the tree. I was running with her, saw her fall, and thought, oh, God, I need to get back there. But I had to get to the tree.

7:03Abbey Clancy: So bad. So bad. But I did come back for you, but once you won the game. Homie, homie, homie. Homie, homie. All right, give me five. I've got to go and turn to Ab. Homie, homie. I do love playing those games with the kids. It's so good. That was fun. That was great fun. Good barbecue, that one. All right, well, Carl says, this is Carl with a C, thankfully. He says, hi, all. Love the pod. I'm writing in regarding Abby's request for people to write in that fancy her the other week. For context, I'm married six years. My wife recently informed me very casually over a Sunday roast that she has a full mental list of celebrity freebies.

7:44and that I should think of one, my hall pass, if you wish. I took a moment, then said Abby. Which has somehow caused a bigger argument than if I'd said nothing. Also, sorry, Pete. My question is, surely the freebie hall passes is just a joke, but I feel like she's taking it seriously. What do you guys think? Also from Soundbite, I'm pretty sure Mark Strong would be Abby's. Mark Strong. Love, Kyle from Cardiff. Kyle's always behaving like Kyle. Kyle's behaving like Kyle's, yeah. piss off Carl as we used to say on the old Peter Crouch pod

8:17Abbey Clancy: who's your whole pascals we're not having one in our relationship we're not allowed to be like that's a smart move we're not having them why do you want one I don't I do not I really don't piss off what if you do piss off then no I don't want one at all I really don't no genuinely don't yeah no he doesn't mine would be it's so basic now I'd probably say Sydney Sweeney I'm just obsessed absolutely great actress do you know Sydney? she's got an older guy now she goes out with Justin Bieber's ex-manager she does doesn't she? she looks like my daughter so much though I think who's Sydney Sweeney? yeah she looks like Sophia is it Sophia Brunette?

9:01Abbey Clancy: Sydney Sweeney's Brunette I thought she was blonde I'm picturing Sydney Sweeney and you thought is Sydney Sweeney oh my god I'm claiming she's my go-to are you thinking of Claire Sweeney? I'm thinking of the same. I call that blonde. I don't know. I think she's blonde. She goes from blonde to mousy brunette-y. Yeah. Have you seen Euphoria, Abs? Have you been watching it? Yeah, she's in there. Yeah, that's where I kind of... I think I saw it once and it was a bit druggie, so I turned it off. All right, well, piss off Carl. I don't think we should get people to write Is there a picture attached of Carl?

9:36I'm not really comfortable with it. She says, is there a picture attached? Is there a picture attached? Is that what you just said?

9:42Abbey Clancy: You never know. He could be my hall pass. Oh, God. What are you encouraging here? Nothing. I'm joking. Oh, behave. Behave. I'm only joking. I've got no interest in hall passes. I don't want to go in the hall. Why is it called a hall pass? Okay, right, I want to go in the hall. Is that what you just said? What did you say? Why is it called a hall pass anyway? Why is it called a hall pass? I think it's American. I think it's to do with if you wanted to leave the classroom to go to the bathroom, you have to get a hall pass, I think. Right? So if you have to leave the class, I think this is right, because the big hallway monitors, I think.

10:26Oh, it's quite serious business in the US, isn't it, school? So if you went and someone would be like, why are you not in class right now? He'd be like, I've got my hall pass. So it's like your get out of jail card. So I think they just took that and applied it to their relationships. Well done, guys. Yeah, I think I've got that right. That's a pretty face. Stop. Well done. Yes. There you go. All pass. Interesting. Okay. Mehdi. Mehdi says, hi Pete and Gaz. And Abbey, I'm hoping you can give me, give a bit of a shout out for my hubby Mark. He's going through a crappy time at the moment. He's midway through chemotherapy treatment for a rare aggressive cancer.

11:00It's back for the third time in six years and it's very shit. He's just spent two weeks in hospital with sepsis and instead of being all sad and cancery, he's constantly apologising for missing my birthday and our anniversary he's an absolute legend and I would really appreciate it if you could tell him I love him and if I got to choose again I would pick him every time we listen to the pod together and always laugh at your humour you remind us of ours Pete Pete he appreciates the predicaments you find yourself in and he's always on your side when you get in trouble with Abbie there must be a lot of people in the same boat as us so huge shout out to them please it can be scary and lonely lots of love, Mehdi oh, right well a shout out to Mark if you're listening to this, we hope you get better, get well soon we are thinking of you and yeah I hope it goes better for you

11:56Abbey Clancy: yeah absolutely that's terrible terrible to hear and yeah we wish him all the best and thanks for listening and glad that we can put a smile on your face when you're feeling down. And yeah, stick in there. You've beat it twice already, so you're definitely going to do it again. Lots of love. Yeah, agreed. What's that, babe? Yeah, we get quite a few of those, so I thought it was nice too. Yeah, no, that's nice to read that one out. There's a shout out, Mark. Gemma from Swansea says, hello team, love the pod. AMA for me. what's the pettiest reason you've ended a date or nearly ended a relationship mine a man called a panini a ponini three times and I had the cheek and then had the cheek to try and correct me I left and I stand by it curious if Abby's got a deal breaker that's small I love Gemma from Swansea ponini well most of our most of our arguments have been like so petty haven't they when you think about it?

13:04I think, I mean, the sausage one was pretty bad, wasn't it? Oh, tell us about the sausage one. Well, I bought Ab wanted sausages. She was pregnant and very, I'd say slightly difficult at times. I bought sausages. She wanted normal sausages and they were, I'd bought, I think it was wild boar and apple or something. Okay. They looked like they were amazing, but she just went mad at me. all the way home.

13:33Abbey Clancy: It's when you bought me the world's best prawn sandwich. And I just wanted prawn mayonnaise. Have you ever seen that one in M &S? Prawn mayonnaise. The bougie one. It literally says on it. No one buys that. You just want the normal one. Get a starting argument again. And I was like, how do I even know? I was like, I can't believe I'm having a baby with you and you can't even get me a bloody prawn sandwich. So basically she wanted a normal prawn sandwich but this one said on it, it literally says, I don't know if you've seen it in M &S, the world's best prawn sandwich. I have seen it. So I went, I've nailed it here.

14:06Because you can't get a better prawn sandwich. You can't get better than the world's best. I've literally got the world's best. And she was like, I just wanted the normal prawn one. Like, you don't know me. I was pregnant. We fell out over a prawn sandwich.

14:18Abbey Clancy: I'm psychotic at the time. And then the wild boar sausages, she was like, why can't you just get normal sausages? Why do they have to be wild boar and apple? I don't want that. And I got the sausages and I threw them out the window. Did you? Yeah. He threw them out the window? I'd love to know if anyone in Hampstead High Street saw a bag of sausages on the floor. Definitely. 14 years ago. Can you imagine you saw that? You were driving behind a car and some sausages just flew out the window. I remember when my dad threw all my pugs out the window. do you remember pogs oh yeah what did he do that for because me and my brother were fighting over them and we had millions of them and we were on the motorway and my dad's like if you don't stop fighting over that i'm gonna get them and throw them out the window and he did he chucked your pogs i'd like hundreds of pogs just got them amazing see you later jesus i'll be fuming i wouldn't get back in the car well is there anything like on a date date that would like be a deal breaker though like say you went on a date right and like you know is there anything that would be like, right, I've never seen him again?

15:34Abbey Clancy: I have ghosted someone on a date before when I was a teenager. Did you? I went to the loo and just didn't come back. That'd be a blow, wouldn't it? It was just an ick. It was an ick. Was it really? What, the person? The person just wasn't for you at all? No. And I do feel bad for that because you're a nice person, but no. I'm not good in icky situations. I don't know what to do. Yeah, I like what you mean. Would a person saying the word poni, like panini as ponini, would that do your head in? Said what? The person who wrote in said the guy mispronounced panini as ponini. Ponini. Ponini. If I'm saying that, punani?

16:19You definitely pulled me up. You'd say like, why the hell are you saying it like that?

16:24Abbey Clancy: Yeah. there are people that just do it you were saying dance van the other day that was up there Pete dance van I was just like what are you talking about because it was a party bus to take us to the next place in the wedding and everyone was like the dance van's here they're all Irish in Dublin so they'd say dance van as well like me and Pete was calling it a dance van and I was like yeah I know you say van but you don't say I know you say dance you say dance but you don't say van he was like come on everyone the dance van's here I was like no I did say like it came out wrong do you know what I mean I wasn't saying dance van and the only other ick when I was like in the car with you I think we've talked about before when I was just like doing something on my phone and you were like singing full the verse of Candy Shop by 50 Cent like every word but the verse do you know the full verse?

17:23Abbey Clancy: like no one knows the verse to that song I do know the song that is unbelievable like you lick the lollipop everyone knows that bit but they don't know the actual verse I do know the verse verse verse verse dance form dance form alright we got one here from Aaron it says my wife has her system for loading the dishwasher and I have my system for loading the dishwasher apparently only one of these is the correct way. And shock is not mine. I have a degree. I have a mortgage. I have successfully kept a child alive for six years and yet I'm not trusted to place a bowl in a machine whose entire job is to clean the bowl without supervision and a heavy sigh.

18:06Yesterday, she re-stacked it in front of me whilst maintaining eye contact. Is this a marriage or a hostage situation? Where do you two stand when it comes to the household chores? Hmm. Unfortunately, it's never going to be correct that way. And there is only one way, and it is the wife's way.

18:26Abbey Clancy: But you've never done a household chore in your entire life, and that's fair to say. That is not true. I actually do, one of my favourite jobs is loading the dishwasher. No, it's not. You pick, you're on dog poo duty. That's what Peter's. Peter's dog poo picking up. Yeah, that's entirely my, I have my own system there, and that stays in place because, you know, that's not for you. but no there are certain things like when if i the very rare time i have cooked in the past you come down and do do you remember you you actually got better at it but you do take over tell me i'm doing it wrong and then end up cooking yourself because if it's left to you i'll have a pepper army chopped up with a jar of pesto Oh, it's a dry pasta.

19:13That's my signature. That's my signature. It's not raw, mate, darling.

19:17Abbey Clancy: I want you to... Have you seen David Beckham cooking with all his veg? You know, that's what you're going to be like in our new house with all our vegetables. 100%, babe. I'd like to be a better chef. I want to see if your broad bean's bigger than his.

19:38I'll make sure of it, babe. I'll make sure of it. I'll make sure I please you with my bean

19:46Abbey Clancy: oh god he has got big broad beans he was showing them on camera that big was he really? yeah I've seen he's got some amazing veg hasn't he there he's got chickens and everything chicken isn't veg babe I want that to be our life as well babe well it is it will be I've got leeks I've got garlic I've got spring onion carrots sweet potato um coriander all I can think about is soups now babe I feel like you can make a soup with that yeah well I think what we should do on a weekend is batch cook and make like you know our own like passatas and you know soups bases for things can we never go out again and just do that yeah I'm up for that absolutely alright so wholesome to date oh god can you just imagine making like all that like even like our own chimichurri and having all the ingredients there and it's so easy to make but just straight from the garden just is that easy to make Abby because I feel like I wouldn't know where to start with that with what sorry chimichurri it's just coriander garlic olive oil chilies and that's it how do you make it into like a sauce though like a so you do you just put it in the blender Just put it all in the blank.

21:09Oh, okay. Okay, babe, I've got one here from Hayley. So I've been with my husband nine years. We've got two kids. So you can imagine the romance schedule is whenever both the children and the dog are unconscious. Last week, we got a rare window. Candles out the lot. And 40 seconds in, he stopped, got up and said, did you hear that? I think that's the sourdough timer. Oh, God. Oh, my God. he began a bread baking journey and i can tell you it was not ready he just wanted to check so my ama is what's the most unsexy thing your other half has ever done or at the worst possible moment and did the mood ever recover uh pete i know i need to know abby's got dirt on you here love hayley well yeah i imagine there'll be lots of reasons that i've done over the years

22:03Abbey Clancy: I don't think I can share any of these

22:09I have never Come away from what I was doing Certainly not For a sourdough timer

22:20Abbey Clancy: That's what you know you've gone Have you been able to cook Bake sourdough bread I think you'd actually Love me to go And make some sourdough bread I'd do that to you you would 100 % do that to me see I don't have kids but it seems like it's impossible to have like a bit of romance when there's kids knocking around it's a nightmare especially if they stay up late now which they get older and they stay up late and you're like and would they just barge in essentially yeah they just come in at any point yeah that sounds like hell to me it's just like impossible it's not ideal yeah yeah I was talking to my friends about this the other day and they have to just like pretend to get a shower and lock the bathroom door.

23:00Abbey Clancy: It's just not what you want, is it? No, it's not ideal. You don't want an admin to go into what you do. And also, like, you kind of need to schedule things in, which is terrible. That is bad, isn't it? But in terms of, like, least sexy thing to say during a... I have one. I think probably ovulating would have been the least sexy thing I did to you. Yeah, because that... When you said I was just using you for meat. That was the only time I kind of felt... I felt like it was a no from me. Oh, really? It was the only time in my life that I felt like saying no. Pete was like, I'm not just some kind of piece of meat, you know?

23:39Abbey Clancy: I was like, fucking hell, we're obviously getting that bed now. It was like, get up there. It felt like I could just feel like I've got rights. Oh, okay then. Obviously, you know, I've managed to get through it. I'll be like that. You struggled through it, yeah. but it's not that's not what you know it's not what it's about no it's not good for anyone yeah yeah fair play yeah it's difficult one sourdough timer it's not ideal gotta go check the brain even is a sourdough timer i don't know do you guys dabble with sourdough that feels like something you guys might do it's one of those bread making machines oh i'd like to i would like to make bread i'm up for it yeah with your chimichurri i think i'd rather have you than the sourdough though i'm being perfectly honest but if it's in the oven you could get it over and if it's in the thing if you timed it perfectly you could you know could have both yeah have you have your bread and eat it very good nice bit of warm crusty bread load knob of butter on Nothing better Crusty and knob in the same sentence Sounds Yeah Sounds actually more exciting It actually does Good stuff Alright well that's the AMAs babe today AMA from LA I've just liked seeing you for a while It's nice I know I just want to reach through the phone and see you Touch you I love you babe Love you too And you guys I miss you all And you guys Cheers guys And everyone listening I thought we were just on a Zoom call then.

25:19Forget that people are listening.

25:21Abbey Clancy: I feel like we're doing that thing we did the other night. We had a camera and we were like, right, we need to just go around the table to our kids and say one thing you love about the person next to you. To all our kids. We did that. It was nice, actually. That's a really nice thing. There was always one fighting at that particular time, so it's really hard to do. Oh, right. But it's a nice thing to do. That's a lovely, yeah. That's a lovely thing. All right, well, we'll see you next time. See you next time.