How Summer Holidays STEAL Every Couple’s Romance!

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0:35And this year, every school lunch is reason to celebrate with the flavors your kids love and the exceptional quality you expect. Helping you make school lunch fresh, easy, and delicious. Ring the bell. The deli is open. Boar's Head. Committed to craft since 1905. Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Abercrombie's having a major sale on their denim right now. It's 25 to 50 % off all jeans, and we need to talk about it. A sale this good is the perfect time to stock up on all your favorites and for trying something new. I love the 90 straight jean. And the gigglers get an extra 15 % off almost everything with code denim15.

1:21Shop the Abercrombie denim event in the app, online, and in stores. Offer valid online only August 5th, 2026 to August 10th, 2026 in US and Canada. Excludes clearance. Online price reflects discount. Use code DENIM15 to get an additional 15 % off almost everything in stores and online at checkout from August 5th, 2026 to August 10th, 2026 in US and Canada. Exclusions apply. See details online. Like Theresa May or something. We put him in like a Halternex silver swimsuit with a pair of thigh high Louboutins and a wig. But he looked tasty. Yeah, he looked unreal. He was like, oh my God, it's literally my dream woman.

2:04He looked good. Lucas Dengie. Dengue, Dengue. Lucas Dengie. Dengue, Dengie. Ask me anything. Trava. Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch. Ask us anything with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch. Oh, it's the flap closing. No, it's that noisy. Squeezing. How are we going? Good. Are you little boys okay? Sorry for these. Can't say flap and not laugh. That's not going to happen. Our aircon units cook the flap on its closing and these two are bloody laughing their heads up.

2:51my dad used to always play that game of say a word that is a funny word flap i don't know why it is it is a funny word it's quite descriptive though isn't it some words suit what they are don't they flap they're like a flip flop even yeah suits doesn't it fluff i think suits fluff flap

3:18can can you put cans obvious because it's made of tin why is that obvious a can is only a tin can sounds tinny doesn't it but what words don't suit each other I think all words suits each other now I'm thinking about it no they don't there's some blob that suits blob doesn't it slug suits slug as well yeah yeah blue bottle doesn't suit a blue bottle that's good that's a good one yeah because that sounds nice of Blue Battle doesn't it? Alright well let us know in the comments Cool story bro This is a global podcast by the way We're so fucking dull We've got listeners in bloody Australia It's a global podcast Why do people even listen to this drivel?

4:05Honest to God You must feel sorry for us I reckon Sorry for peace The Laugh and Arrows not with us Shut your mouth do you know I'm actually gonna leave I am gonna leave this no one's got a sense of humour on this podcast anything I say gets taken out of context I'm constantly getting bullied you're not getting bullied at all you're really not no can't dish that you can't take it in I bloody can't go on hit me an insult hit you with an insult go on don't do it Peter I've got a full pun do it at the end I've got 30 minutes I think go on well I've got loads I just don't want to say them honestly Pete I swear to God my love for you is fading you didn't take that very well did you drastically the threat of an insult I threatened you with an insult you said go on insult me and watch and I threatened you with one and you couldn't take it you said your love is dwindling no it is I can tell you just told me you're not letting me go to Oktoberfest what you've just said I'm not allowed to go no it's a lads trip Munich's for the boys you're not allowed lads trips it's a lads trip it's working since when have you been allowed a lads trip we're working it's work no it doesn't matter we'll work I'll come and look after you chaperone yeah you won't come and look after me I absolutely won't bloody well will you're a geezer captain of my ship no you should say I'll get your hotel down the road yeah let's talk about after me tell them I'll come see you if I'm not.

5:41Give me a kiss. Shove your kisses at your arse.

5:48No, but you would, you would have won, this, these, I don't know if any of our listeners are feeling this way, but you know, these school holidays do nothing for the old love life. Relationships. I feel like we have this issue every August. Game over. Complete game over. That's ridiculous.

6:07Do you mean that? What? Love life's game over. Yeah, I do mean that. Yeah, over the summer. Horrendous, isn't it? No, don't mean love life as in physical. I mean, just tolerance. I still love you if that's what you think. Oh, good. Thanks. Thank God for that. Cheers, bro. Phew. Yeah, cheers, pal. Make love a cat. A cat? What? Shall we just get into it? I'm not allowed any cats. I'm debating whether to get new cats when they pass. I don't know whether it's worth it. It's not. They don't get them. we've had these 20 years a little face yeah no I love the cat I haven't got any issue with the cat I love the cat I'm just so worried like we've had these cats from the the first day of our relationship you're thinking like if the ravens leave the Tower of London absolutely yeah when the cats leave it's all going to come crumbling down yeah perhaps it might hmm hi Crouchy Abbey and Ross day one listening what's wrong with you today not getting enough attention day one listener love your content creation I'm 27 and I've had a couple of relationships before but never anything I've been overly mad about and always listen to your pod wondering if I ever have the connection that you two have or if having a missus was a good laugh and your best mate was even possible however I think I've now found one I've been with my girlfriend just over six months now and although it seems very early I just can't get enough of her in previous relationships.

7:40I would always have had that feeling. Have you seen how Dua Lipa's boyfriend kisses her? No. Oh my God. Husband though, aren't they married? Are they married now? I think so. Oh my God, they look so happy. Another one off the market. I love Dua Lipa, I'd marry him myself. But they were at some concert or something, snogging, and it was just like, we are so in love, kind of snog. that's good news I'll show it to you so nice I'm going to have a couple turbo neck that's what you should be doing to me I'll go and kiss her she's like get off for fuck's sake like you're saying that like I should be doing that I'll go to kiss you like get off me no I'm not I've given up with that now um you get breakfast and your apples and oranges you go on in previous relationships I would always have a feeling that I need my own space and I can't wait to have a night to myself.

8:41But now I find myself never wanting her to leave. We rarely argue and if we do, we talk it out and it's sorted straight away. She has fit into my family seamlessly and is more than happy to sit and watch any football with me, whether it's Premier League, Champions League, even Scottish games, which nearly had me down on one knee. I've recently bought my own flat in Liverpool. she still lives with her parents but naturally she has spent basically every day here since I got the keys and it's just easier to be together in our own space I'm looking for a bit of advice as to how I go about asking her to move in with me properly Pete why didn't you answer this one there's been a lot of made of Pete's you might as well move in Ted Pete if you had to do it again would you change it Abby how do you think Pete should have asked you to move in cheers for your help I'd appreciate it if I was kept to none as it's now part of our weekly routine to watch together would I change it?

9:39no it was perfect it was absolutely perfect that means you're still here isn't it? now he's like you may as well move out yeah I would change it yeah what would you do differently? well I think a little like something something nice like maybe even leaving a a little box with with the key in somewhere or like a treasure hunt yeah treasure hunt's a good show Or you could even go to the lengths of like moving her stuff in. And they're coming home and having her own wardrobe. And then obviously rearranging it to how she would want it. Before you say that, but something like that would be nice, wouldn't it?

10:22Yeah, but Pete's equivalent that I'd just be opening the cup and just lashed it in. Yeah, she places it in the wardrobe. That would end in a fight because it'd be like, what the fuck have you done to my stuff? but I think yeah there's lots of nice gestures or a nice card or some flowers or dinner and ask her at dinner down on one knee will you move in with me a ring box of the key all that available that's a good one no it's not she thinks she's getting engaged no because she'll be she's getting engaged and then she'll be so disappointed no she won't be disappointed because she might be thinking what after six months is he messing she'll be elated but you basically asked me after six months or you could just have a little necklace with a key on it see if she notices oh I'll go and buy the suitcase and be like you're going to need that to move all your stuff into ours then she might think she's going on holiday I think if you were to ask me again I think it's such a huge thing for a couple moving into each other it could have just been a nice thing I don't know if it's especially for a girl but he sounds like he's really up for it which is lovely yeah well she's up for watching Scottish games to keep her yeah I would have if we could go back in time I would have preferred it to be slightly more romantic but yeah no I just didn't didn't think really about that I should have it should have been more romantic definitely I think you can even just do a nice scrum in the house and then pull out the box you don't have to get on one knee but you pull out the box as if it's like a bit of jewellery or something and then pass it over No, because there's always going to be a level of disappointment if you think you're getting jewellery and you get a bloody brass key.

12:04Do you know what I mean? It's like, I'm going to move in anyway. Where's my fucking necklace? Do you know what I mean? The key on the necklace? I know that sounds terrible, but I'm just being honest. I'm just being honest. I'm just being honest. I remember that's when I got the tree. Do you remember when I got the tree? And I was hunting around thinking, there must be a fucking necklace on here somewhere. it's just a tree I hinted so much for this necklace and my mum and like all my friends are like it's just a decoy he's hid the tree on the necklace we were all scrimmaging through this tree trying to find it I did get the necklace but it wasn't on the tree no I got you a necklace yeah it's a lovely necklace actually I really like it yeah it looks smart that's what you think this is my vibe now yeah that's cool I like it when you when you're topless with that on with that age to find and to feek to feek with the age defying physique yeah I'm the only one in our gang who hasn't got one you know I bought you a necklace one of those actual ones oh one of these ones good nice I love it yeah I think it looks good like a St Christopher style isn't it it's nice okay well yeah there's some options there for how to move in crack on to Abby Pete and Ross first of all love the pod love all your pods wanted to submit and ask us anything question.

13:29I was watching the movie Dirty Grandpa the other day and there's a scene where Robert De Niro, the Dirty Grandpa. I haven't seen that. Because it's funny. He shabbers Zac Efron. This got me thinking, if you could shabber anyone, who would it be apart from one another? I was going to say you. If you could receive a shabber from anyone, be the shabby, who would it be? Mark.

13:51You know that feeling when too many things fall through the cracks? Monday.com was built for that gap. The AI work platform where people and agents work side by side to deliver more together. Create your first Monday agent today at Monday.com. At Boar's Head, we've been going back to school for over 115 years. And this year, every school lunch is reason to celebrate with the flavors your kids love and the exceptional quality you expect. Helping you make school lunch fresh, easy and delicious ring the bell the deli is open Boar's Head committed to craft since 1905

14:39I'd like to do someone who's really dry you know like someone who needs a shampoo yeah yeah yeah like Theresa May or something yeah such a good show she'd go perfect perfect do a little dance but you'd get it right in wouldn't you there'd be a bit of venom in that one a bit of venom hi Abby Pete and Ross listening the other night and hearing how Abby was saying Benzema was hysterical it got me thinking how you should get a number of footballers names starting off easy to see how many she gets right okay so babe I've got you a couple of names just to read out for us okay first one Ilkay Gundogan Ilkay Gundogan not bad It's not bad.

15:24This is a great game. This is actually a great game. What's his name? Gundogan. Gundogan. Gundogan's fine. I like it. Wozzec Skemze. Wozzec Skemze. The Arsenal goalkeeper. Forever be known as Skemze. Wozzec Shkensky. I don't know. Shknezny. Shknezny. Shknezny. This is... How have we not thought of Skemze? What's his name? I've just said that yeah yeah you got it you got it Mezu Ozil not bad yeah what's his name yeah Mezu Ozil um Caesar Azpilqueta not bad not bad what's his name Caesar Azpilqueta Azpilqueta Granny Xhaka nice do you know him you said that perfectly no never heard him never heard him he plays a sutherland I've never heard him Henry Mkhitaryan that's unbelievable yeah you're not doing buddy yet Kevin De Bruyne yeah I know him Lucas Dengie Dengie Dengie Lucas Dengie Dengie Dengie Dignie Dignie Dignie Dignie Luca Dean yeah yeah Dean sorry yeah Lucas Dean sorry I should have said that but I like Digby was better Vick and a Digby well we stumbled upon one of the greatest games of all time we're going to do that more often if that's alright he's just started a fantasy football league with our son yeah for his football club I've lost him don't worry he'll teeter off after about three weeks yeah don't worry do you know how it really hits home when your little boy comes to you and says dad can we do a fantasy league team you didn't say that I felt like crying you said it to him no I did yeah but when he said yes when he said yes he got genuinely excited and he's like can I buy Neymar and he's like no Jack he's not in the pram can I buy Jude Bellingham no son you can't it went on for ages but then also like Luis Diaz killed him yeah it was one of his first was go to's was can I have Luis Diaz he's moved hasn't he just moved yeah so that was a shame but he's just it's exciting that he's excited by it and he's like even the concept of the money like he's like 100 million he said we've got 100 million he couldn't believe it I said yeah I'd like 30 off me mum I said yeah mate we've got 100 million we can buy he said can we get Salah and I said yeah we can get Salah and Harland up front together I said we might have a load of shit I emailed in about a year ago about trying to sell my house I had with my useless ex and hearing your views on it really cheered me up and to know other people wrote in about my situation made me feel very supported.

18:23So I thought I'd give you a little update. That's what we do here. Yeah, she had a big reaction to that I don't know if you remember. Yeah, it was, yeah because he wasn't like cleaning it and stuff. Yeah, he wasn't moving out and stuff. Yeah. The house finally sold after two years on the market and a lot of stress but now a year on from my last email I'm now engaged to the man of my dreams. He is truly perfect in every way and the happiest I've ever been. That's amazing. We have booked our wedding for September next year. Do you know what? It's so, not everyone finds the love of their life, you know.

18:51I know. It's really special. It is special. We've booked our wedding for September next year and having a festival vibe wedding in a field with a tip. TP. Oh, I was saying it's next to a tip. But, you know, each their own. A live band for the evening and acoustic singer for the day. Fabulous. To add to the theme, we are having food vans. sourdough wood fire pizza and burger vans oh my god well she needs slow dough pizza they're the only go-to people i would ever trust with pizza they're the best they are the best and a horse box rather than the traditional sit-down wedding breakfast and buffet for the evening along with a fire pit and bales of hay for seating and of course a photo booth that sounds very nice that sounds gorgeous sounds great my question is as you know weddings are not cheap I want to know your thoughts on asking people to pay for their own food from the food vans.

19:46Is this acceptable or not? Love the pod. Keep up the laughs and the inspiration to all. You really do know how to make a girl's day. Loads of love. The future, Mrs. M. What she could do is just have it like the bar. So if it's like a festival, she could just have them set up with, you know, if you want this, it's Fiverr or whatever. Yeah. I probably wouldn't mention it. Yeah. I do think that's one one thing that potential cause a kick off at a wedding is making is fucking with people's food isn't it what she could do is just charge double for the drinks and then cover the food or they could put a big chunk behind it yeah rather than paying pay ahead those say okay we're going to put a gram behind the food vans or something then the pizzas go from five to like£2.50 and you might not be bothered as much but if foods are big I'd rather have no flowers than a friggin no food and then make people guess pay I agree foods are true you're kind of expected to feed people aren't you especially if you go to the morning service it's a long day it wasn't Pete can you please please confirm that I saw you riding a line bike yesterday my kids don't believe me yes did you was you on a line bike was that up did you believe it or not they haven't specified where I was but I think it was in Nice what in France oh okay so I was with Sophia and then we were in Nice and we've got these and I recommend if you ever go to Nice right you can ride you get a line bike and you go the whole way along the promenade yeah at like seafront the whole way it's amazing it's the best day out ever we're on the line bike for two hours go away we've done like 25 kilometres shut off yeah honestly it was amazing and there was a couple of people going I could see them going like nah David Beckham wouldn't do this no they a couple of people shouted at me like crouching and I was like oh yeah you alright and then so yeah there was lots of people that saw me on it but yeah we had a great day on them I thought it must have been when you were in London I didn't think when you were abroad yeah of course it was abroad but I was thinking that's how many crouchies you've got on a line bike they're actually amazing I'd like I would have liked to have done that I would have loved to have done it it was brilliant and those line bikes are amazing me and Sophia are like a nippy how quick are they up to mark did you have my daughter on a road no so in Nice which is what's so good about it as well you've got the kind of where where you walk it's a pedestrianised yeah it's all pedestrianised here and then you've got the sea there and then you've got a cycle lane and like a barrier before the road oh that's good or something like that perfect yeah but you feel like you're going all the way along the sea and there's no cars like yeah you're just in a lane totally safe brilliant really really strongly advise you to do it.

22:34So play that to your kids. So yeah, tell the kids it was me. If you were a niece. If you were in, you know, Clapper, it wasn't.

22:46I was in Clapper yesterday. Yes, I was all right. I drove through it. I went to the deli. I went to the Crippelli deli. Well, I'll be Pete and Ross, totally random one here. I've listened from the start and I don't think I've ever heard this discussed. But I might be wrong, I often am. I'm being nosy here but here goes your romance strikes me as a fairly traditional one you met fell in love knew you wanted to be together early doors so my question is why did you leave it until after you'd had Sophia to get married if you say it's because Pete didn't couldn't fit a wedding around matches I'm not buying that there's a small window between end of and pre-season I know this is an important question in the Grand Ski of Things but I'd be interested in your answer.

23:32Nosy from Berkshire. P.S. Ross, you're such an intelligent man so stop demeaning yourself and women by referring to us as birds. Sorry, love. Very nosy, isn't it? Very nosy, but that's also not true because it was the World Cup 2010. Yeah. The reason we didn't get married before was because I got pregnant. Yeah. Wasn't it? But we were trying. we tried to have a baby before we got married I think marriage in general is like whatever you want it to be like yeah back in the day it was like yeah you get married first then you sleep with each other then you think about having a family I mean that's not just not society of today everyone's different everyone can have their own views of marriage and I think our view was family was more important than actually getting married and I that's a lovely answer that was nice yeah and I think

24:29there was a bit of that you know we wanted to wait for a summer where there was no world cup because you know it is hard to plan because it's not only your day you plan and it's everyone else's logistically and it's like you don't know how long a team would be in a in a competition for and then if they go to the very end they have like two days off and then they go away pre-season yeah yeah and to plan it before wouldn't be unfair to you planning a wedding when you've got the world cup to think about um our priority was was having a family wasn't it really yeah of course we always knew we were going to get married at some stage yeah and we just want to make it and i actually wish we didn't get married when we did i would have waited our vow renewal was so much more special wasn't it just in the sense that all the kids were there yeah so if it was three months old when we got married initially well when we got married um well it It was such a special day having the, I would have liked, you know, everyone there who's at my wedding at the Vaur and Earl, but just to have the kids there.

25:29Yeah. And having them understand what we were doing, like celebrating our love. And it was lovely. Yeah, I think that's kind of the answer was, the family was first for us. And then marriage was always going to happen. We were in no rush, were we? There's no rush for it, I don't think. No. Do it when it's kind of right for you. I think in this day and age, I think back in the day, we were trying for Sophia for over two years and we'd already started planning the wedding for June for the June a couple of years later or whatever and I got pregnant in the middle of that so Sophia was only two months old when we got married so then I had to bloody I had to wait for my wedding dress fittings it was all quite stressful really because it was like I'd just had a baby and now I've got fitting into a wedding dress do you know what I mean?

26:19yeah back in the day it was frowned upon if you had a child and you weren't married right and obviously this day and age that is not the case at all at all so that was the way we looked at it different strokes with different folks don't you know what I mean do you want to get married at some point yeah I'd say so but it's not high on my agenda now

26:43what about kids would you have kids before marriage yeah I would I was with one of my new cousins the other day she was lovely little baby Aaron and it was like I am getting brood here when I go skiing you see the little babies in the ski suits as well like oh it is great yeah it is great it's hard as well and we can play the other day after the Everett match and she started kicking off when she was getting tired and I just knew I was handing her right back over to our Chloe I was like oh yeah you can't do this when you've got a kid but you know what like we we laugh and joke about it but it is the best thing yeah it's what life's about genuinely it is okay hi all question for abby please uh getting my invisalign brace today oh god i need to wear mine wondering if she's got any tips going out socializing etc i'm so nervous love the pod not missed an episode so funny thanks caroline don't be nervous the invisalign is great if you wear it for 23 hours a day if you don't it'll be slower and it doesn't really work speak to someone who's had it four times going out socializing i was the worst because i would take it out put it in like a serviette and then the waiter would come and take the plates waiting to be in the bin the amount of bins i rooted through to get my invisalign back remember peter and then you have to order more um or i'd just forget the case to put them in and throw them in my bag then they'd be in the bin again um hence why i'm goofy still I'm so goofy they've gone even more I've never known anything like it your teeth are beautiful oh no they're not they are they're not any food stuff not to avoid things like that I wouldn't drink tea or coffee or red wine or anything in with them because they stain and don't clean them with your toothbrush and toothpaste because it discolours the trays you can get these like little fizzy tablets that you put them in to clean them like Stenodence everything yeah okay cool they've got tips yeah very good tips yeah tips I mean hell do you want anything stupid ass fucking hell it's too easy we're nearly there we're nearly there okay hi my favourite trio Fabab Four Left and Raunchy Roth what's a four left well that's when you hit a terrible golf shot and it goes in a bush yeah why are you getting called that because you kids sell them a golf shirt they're going for the stuff that's out online is very derogatory about my golf swing I'm going to be cliche but I have to say you three point golf what did you think he said footy so you know you know when you hit a bad shot in golf like and it's high and wide and it could hit someone you have to shout four did you know that yeah same when you cut a tree down isn't it to murder did you have a foot of trees 66 % I can't think of the little Otter used to chew the trees down in Lady and the Trump yeah I do remember that yeah would you rather Pete have to watch Ab play golf or Ab have to watch Pete model women's underwear thanks love you all Ben so is he asking me if I would rather watch you watch Abby would you rather Pete have to watch Ab play golf or Ab have to watch Pete?

30:08Who's it a bigger punishment for? I think the same, Sonny. Do you play in golf or Pete modelling female lingerie? No one wants to see that. I don't think anyone wants to see that. Trying to imagine you in a little two-piece now. Got better legs than me, sister. Maybe some long fucking suspenders there, wouldn't they? Imagine. I'm imagining me in like Ab's like agent provocateur outfit with his two eggs and a hanky. the crotchless the AP knickers as well imagine you with your bloody crotchless nuts hanging out oh my god that wouldn't be pretty would it let's be honest you're wider than you look I think you'd be like a 36 chest 38 I haven't got great tits though a couple of beastings I can't wear a little vest I mean I think it's very attractive what about corset maybe corset corset might work on a little baby doll thing corset might work a pair of French knickers do you remember what French knickers are?

31:14a little French baind what about a French baind outfit? I don't think feather duster I just don't think you and any women stuff do you remember when you used to put Stacey's dresses on every time we used to go out come down a floral maxi every time Stacey before we went out she'd have to hide all her clothes on a skirt look like a fucking LBD on him. It was a cheap gag. Middy. Yeah. I think, yeah, Peter Lingerie all day for me. That's what I'd rather watch. You'd rather watch that than have you playing golf? Imagine the banter, you know, that Bobby. It's far, far more entertaining. Do you not play golf?

31:54I used to when I was younger, but I haven't played since, since I went to uni really. I couldn't play on like a driving range. I'll be honest with you, if it was between you playing golf and Ross in a pair of suspenders I'm picking the suspenders yeah it'd be more entertaining I mean I'd have that for life wouldn't I that's cash in the bank we used to we used to dress Jason up do you know Jason and Stace because Jason's like the same size foot as me and he's like tiny so he used to fit like oh my god we put him in like a halter neck silver swimsuit with a pair of thigh high Louboutins and a wig I bet he looked tasty yeah he looked unreal he was like oh my god it's literally my dream woman he looked good

32:41he was like he put it on as a joke and then all the men started fancy and he was like oh wrong idea leave it out leave it out Jason you're making me feel funny

32:54that was a good on that egg okay well that's the AMAs I enjoyed that today really did keep them coming good energy keep them coming yeah keep your questions coming in because without them, you know, we are nothing. Exactly. This content does not create itself. Exactly that. See you later. See you next time.

33:16You know that feeling. Too many updates, too many meetings, too many things falling through the cracks. Monday.com was built for that gap. The AI work platform designed from the ground up for people and agents to work side by side and deliver more together. Drafting the brief, flagging risks, running a competitive scan, your agent can do it all. And the best part, anyone can build one, even you. Try it. Create your first Monday agent today at monday.com. At Boar's Head, we've been going back to school for over 115 years. And this year, every school lunch is reason to celebrate. with the flavors your kids love and the exceptional quality you expect.

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