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The Therapy Crouch

22 Jan 2026 · 31m · 15 chapters

Episode artwork

‘It Cost HOW MUCH?!’ Crouchy’s Holiday Nightmare Revealed!!

In short

In this episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch dive into a host of engaging and light-hearted topics, ranging from their imaginary house renovation to holiday mishaps and relationship queries from listeners. The episode is filled with humor, personal anecdotes, and advice on various dilemmas.

Written by AI. May contain mistakes.

Chapters

0:45

Listener Engagement and Nail Stories

Hosts engage with listeners about their holiday experiences and share nail-related anecdotes.

“Yeah, I've just read one of our AMAs, and it just bamboozled me.”
1:50

AMA Discussion: Bone Colors

Discussion on a listener's request for advice about home decor and bone color aesthetics.

“magic sponge treatment and don't do it anyway.”
3:20

Interior Design Tips for Budget Homes

Abby shares practical interior design tips for listeners on a budget.

“because they obviously went in together.”
5:23

The Art of Selling Unwanted Home Items

A humorous discussion about selling home items that aren't even owned.

“That style, dress and areas, makes a real difference.”
8:00

Planning a Hen Party: Challenges and Ideas

The hosts share their experiences and thoughts on planning a hen party.

“But the garage, you want to turn the garage into a big gym and wellness and I can put all my optimal stuff in there and my hyperbaric chamber and my LED bed and he can have his little five kgs.”
11:55

Advice for Relationship Struggles

Listeners share relationship challenges, and the hosts provide heartfelt advice.

“Get clear, travel on the case, you're sorted for you.”
14:01

Understanding Relationship Dynamics

Explore the importance of communication and effort in relationships.

“maybe not even in another shot, but maybe just another conversation.”
16:16

Discussing Dan Brown's Latest Book

Delve into the themes and stories in Dan Brown's 'Secret of Secrets'.

“Hi, I'm just wondering what the book is called that Pete's reading on the latest pod.”
17:18

Book Recommendations and Critiques

Conversations about favorite and least favorite books.

“Oh, I still haven't got to the fucking secret.”
18:48

Advice for New Parents

Essential tips and recommendations for new mothers.

“Abby, can you give me your top tips advice as a new mum and any must have essential purchases?”
Show all 15 chapters
20:19

Navigating Holiday Etiquette

Discussion on holiday behaviors and social norms.

“And you could sit them in and they couldn't get out.”
22:48

The Cost of Holiday Indulgences

Reflect on the expenses associated with luxury holiday experiences.

“Okay, hi, Peter, Abby, and Tudor Bob Ross.”
28:00

Exploring the Roots of Gritters

The hosts discuss humorous names for gritters in Scotland, sparked by cold weather.

“wasn't Sophia conceived there, wasn't you?”
28:20

Creative Gritter Name Game

The hosts share and create funny names for gritters, showcasing their creativity.

“Given the cold weather and storm Goretti, bringing snow and wind to a lot of the country, here is a live map of all the Scottish Gritters with their brilliant names.”
30:00

Previewing Upcoming Questions

The conversation shifts to upcoming questions for a future episode, inviting audience participation.

“Let's finish there, but I'll get the best one than that.”
A man walking through an airport, asking his phone a question

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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00I'm a flabby every year, sorry, and Bone Eccleson walked past me right now. and I went, suddenly thought of me, how much are these fucking bolini? I never hear about an ACL doing anything good. It's a bitch-ass ligament.

0:15Pete probably wanted to divorce me so many times but he can't afford to. Alfie won't sleep with me. I've asked him loads of times. I actually do enjoy it. Yeah, I do. I'm raffling at the gash ears. I don't know. Ask me anything. Shabba. Hello, guys. This is that part of the podcast where we ask you to subscribe. It does make a big difference to our podcast, and we'd like you to make a big difference. So press it. Hello, and welcome to the Therapy Crouch. Ask me anything with me, Abby Cunsey, Peter Crouch, and Ross Pitt. Hello. Hi. Yeah, I've just read one of our AMAs, and it just bamboozled me.

0:55Yeah, sorry. I don't normally read them. Fill the beans. It just took my fancy and then I just got into it. And then now I'm bamboozled. Well, let's jump straight into that then. Oh, I need to get my nails done. Oh, don't even talk. We've had so many people, and please can you stop doing this, listeners, sending us pictures of their ripped off fingernails. I know. It's disgusting. I know, but it's painful. I know it's painful. I don't need to see. Claire texted me the other night. Raph's jammed his finger in the door. And his little pinky's coming off and he's hysterical in pain. but I can't be bothered to take him to A &E.

1:31Should I push it back on, put a plaster on it, give him some count while? I'm like, Claire, you have to take him to the hospital because I can't even tell you the pain. Put a plaster on it. The pain. It must be bad. I mean, I've not done it, you know. It's a former, look at the state of that now. It's horrid. She's given a little magic sponge treatment and don't do it anyway. I need to get that yellow bit off but I can't. It's too sore. Is it still sore? It's tender. Yeah. yeah okay all right shall we get into the amas um hi pete abby and r ross i heard uh you in the last podcast talk about bone colors and i had to message for advice from ab yeah this bone it's everything everything you know just paint that bone we had a lot of reaction to that actually you know good people if you know you know yeah yeah it was more about men complaining about the wives yeah it was a good reaction i think it's going that way i've been dating this lass for about eight months now and it's starting to get serious.

2:26I want to ask her to move in with me, but she's been whining about how plain my house is. She's like you, Abby, obsessed with interiors and about bone colours and Portland marble. And I just look at her like Kevin and Perry. Absolutely zero interest. It's like on Traitors the other day. Talking about plain. Do you remember when they had to guess? The bluntness? Who's the most likeable? And when that girl said, oh, I thought it would have been me who was the most likely one, everyone. She said me. You can't say that yourself. She said me. And then everyone guessed who was the most bland. That blonde girl, gorgeous one.

3:08She's gorgeous, isn't she? She was gorgeous. Yeah, she had a fellow as Ross as well, wasn't she? I know. Yeah. That Katie definitely fancied Ross. Yes, I said that. She kept going, bang it. Oh, it's such a shame. Ross was gone. She didn't reveal that Ross was her boyfriend because they obviously went in together. I said, you would have definitely gone to the debrief. like oh she's all right isn't she she's fit whatever and like she's done that to her yeah and she this girl keeps going on about ross and that's it the other one's boyfriend i said the exact same thing i said the exact same i was like she obviously fancies her that's awkward and like that double girl was like stony faced when she's saying it he's beautiful that bland one though yeah she really is bland though by sounds natural beauty the hair colors like really mad isn't it that's just bleach yeah but i like it her mouth and her teeth are just gorgeous yeah she's heavy it's like who is the most bland member everyone's it's like on take me out you know when all the lights go up in like one thing that is such a blow the fella comes down in that in take me out and the minute

4:11I'll just be off my shirt okay so he said zero interest I wear unbelievable clobber even if I do say so myself and can make anyone look good in clothes. People call me Scott Juan, but I couldn't decorate a doghouse if I tried. I need interior design ideas from Abby. Just know I'm not a supermodel or a former Premier League footballer. Does he want me to go round and look at his house? No, what he's saying is he's basically not got the money to do Gucci mink or Versace rugs. If your Ribena rug's up for grabs, give me a shout. I'll give you a 10 or 20 if you deliver it. He can have the Ribena rug because it's now full of dog piss.

4:53Yeah. You can have dog piss rug. Yeah. But it's only little ones. Yeah. It's fine. So he's on a shoestring. He needs help with his house. Okay. Paint everything bone. Genuinely. You can get an incredible faux marbles at the moment, which are identical to the real deal and a fraction of the price. Okay. You can get, if you've got flooring that you don't like, you could just fill it with an incredible big rug. and you can go from anywhere from Dunelm to Nordic Knots, Zara Home, although Zara's a bit pricey. That style, dress and areas, makes a real difference. That faux olive tree, is it? Wynn. Oh, indoor trees?

5:31Yeah. They're all good, aren't they? Three years ahead. A head of your time, Peter. A head of your time. A faux tree? Yeah. Beautiful. Apart from that, though, babe, great info. You absolutely reeled them off. That was good. That was impressive. I know my shit. Do you do know your shit? Yeah. I've seen a house that I like and I've already sold the contents of a house that I don't own. Because I want to replace it. Sold the contents. Sold the contents. You're mad, aren't you? I love that. I'm like, does anyone want like 25 internal doors? Do you know where I can get... Lucy's like, yeah, my friend's building a house, they'll buy them.

6:09He's like, you're selling things that we don't even own, babe. That's the way to do it, though. Yeah, that's a good point for you to do it. She sold. She sold the, what they called the things in the... The staircase. Spindles. The spindles, yeah. She sold the spindles in a house you don't own. Worked that out. It's going to be a fella. Turn it off to someone else's house in a couple of weeks, isn't it? I mean, if you have spindles, mate. I'm planning ahead. I'm planning... Yeah, because they're not what I want. And they're exceptional quality. But they're not my style. And it would be a disaster to put them in a bin.

6:40Spindles? What are they, like wrought iron ones? they're like heavily detailed metal but they're a bit blingage for me blingage but I've sold them and I don't even own the house I love it I just love the planning it's unbelievable it's so funny because we were going on house viewings and I'd made a mood board for every house that we were going to see and it could have even been a no but I decorated each house in the style that I wanted to do. It's just phenomenal. AI is good for that stuff now as well, you know. I've seen them. Yeah, but I keep running out of my free allocations. I don't know how to upgrade.

7:22Do you know what? I think I've gone through Pinterest. You know, the same thing. Completed it. Keep coming up now. House Pinterest. I think I've completed it. I think I've seen every photo. Pete sends me things. I'm like, that's great, babe. Delete. I really love that. I think you underestimate me. I'm surprised that you're on Pinterest. Look at the house. That was not on my bingo card. He absolutely loves it. I actually do enjoy it. Yeah, I do. Frapping at the gash ears. But I also think you underestimate me. I think I'm quite good. You are good. Do you think I'm shit, really? No, I think you're good.

7:58I'll give you one room. That downstairs toilet. Do you give me two rooms? I'm happy with two rooms. You can do the bar. Nice. That's a good one. You can do the basement. And that's it. Do the basement? You could have that as a belter. Oh, my God. little poker remember in your old how's when you had that poker table at the bottom swings poles leather whips chains locks you can do the basement and the garage the gym you can do the gym and the entertainment zone oh no upgrade get me involved on that pit and I'll do the rest god like bedrooms no interest kids bedrooms nah posh living room nah posh living room kitchen you're never going to get let's be real Let's see it.

8:41Give me a fun time. Get in the kitchen. Okay. Go find your battles, bro. Basement's in a garage, mate. We'll have that.

8:49But the garage, you want to turn the garage into a big gym and wellness and I can put all my optimal stuff in there and my hyperbaric chamber and my LED bed and he can have his little five kgs. I'm up to sixes now. I'm up to sixes now. Do you know why? Bench press 35 kg. Did you? Really? Because, The bar is 20. The bar is 25. So did you put five on each end, do you mean? No, I put 10 on each and the bar was 25. So that's 45. 45. That's good. I know. Squats. Oh, just like you didn't bench press it. No, I was squatting, holding the bar. No, that thing, it's like a cage, you know, like a, really hurts.

9:31When I went to the gym. I had 30s on my chest press the other day. Two days. You'll knock it. Like that. you're definitely having that cheese toast after the gym like me that's my PB to be fair 30, 60, 85 kg I was happy with that was it connected or did you actually lift the bar? no I took the bar off the thing and just bashed them off five sets of five reps that's good that I'm not messing around, big daddy Ross is in the building you promised me you'd get me some sixes yeah to the curl of right out. Yeah. I don't like men that are too muscly. Well, thank God for that. Yeah, it's no danger. It's not...

10:19Lean, like, machines. Yeah. I'm planning my sister's hen at the moment. The pressure, I feel. Are you the maid of honour? I'm the maid of... Am I? God. But I'm like to tell, you know, with the bridesmaid dresses, she wants all the bridesmaids in the same dress. And she was like, do you want something different? Because you're maid of honour. And I'm like, no, I'll do what I'm told. And I was maid of honour for my best friend from school, Holly. Yeah. We all had different dresses actually. But it's a hard thing planning. I'm not a good henny planner. I've decided. Because you don't like leaving the house.

10:57Exactly. Because I'm a recluse. Right, I know what we can do. We can all come round to ours. Yeah. I'll make a nice dinner for everyone We'll have a load of champagne We'll drink in the kitchen Like we do every single night Pete's going to come I am actually panicking because I don't like Being away from Pete He's going to go abroad or he's going to keep it UK Well it's a tricky situation because The wedding's abroad Yeah So you know it's that kind of It's a lot to ask people isn't it It's a lot to ask people You know I want to do something special and maybe get like a big house and you know, like then everyone can chip in for whatever.

11:36But I think, you know, some of the girls that there's a lot of international people, there's people who live in New York, people are in Ireland, people in London, people in Portugal to all come together, like leaving their kids, their jobs. Yes, I get it. It's logistically difficult and you know, we need to, they'll all be paying to go to the wedding as well. So it's kind of... Good luck planning that out. Get clear, travel on the case, you're sorted for you. I know. I just take all the glory for yourself. I did ask Claire because one shot was Nashville. What? Nashville? In America? Tennessee?

12:10Mm-hmm. Fuck, that's... What happened to Blackpool? Do you know what I mean? What do you want to go to Nashville? Yeah, so that's... Benadol. Yeah. No, because I'm petrified to go anywhere, so... But I... You should go. Wherever we go, you should book a room. Just saying it up on the day that you can't we have something. No, but... Well, there's Pete there. What are the chances of this?

12:35No, but I mean, you should, I'd like you there in some capacity. So then at night I can sneak out and get into bed with you. I can't sleep without you, can I? No, you will. Bring Alfie, you'll be there anyway. Alfie won't sleep with me, I've asked him. Loads of times. Loads. No, not as in S-E-X. I mean, he won't even share a bed with me, he finds me repulsive. It's the feeds.

13:00No, I've cried and begged him when we were in that bloody film in Britain's Next Top Model in Cape Verde. I'm like, oh, please sleep with me. He's like, no. He likes his own space, that boy. Yeah, he does. Hi, Pete and Abby. I have no idea if you actually read this, but my wife has recently asked for a divorce and I want to do something to show her I'm willing to do everything possible to turn things around. She loves watching your podcast with Abby and listens weekly. I would really appreciate if you could pass on a message for me. Oh, I'm going to cry. I'd love it if you could tell her how sorry I am for neglecting her and not stepping up to the plate when she needed me to.

13:34And given the chance, I'll prove that she could depend on me. Her name is Ellie and she is a midwife from Plymouth. Oh, what a bloke. You are crying. That's so sad. Take it back, Ellie. Ellie, put down the baby. In a safe place. Safely, of course. and listen to your fella. He's made mistakes and potentially needs, maybe not even in another shot, but maybe just another conversation. Agreed. The thing is, actions speak louder than words. And, you know, men traditionally... Are bastards. Yeah, are all bastards. Now, men traditionally ignore the signs of when a woman is saying to them, you know I'm not happy I feel neglected you're not doing enough you haven't got my back until it's too late and then it's easy to go I'm sorry I'll change they need you if you're in a relationship you always need to make an effort I think to look out for each other listen be present be there at all times here that he's been given the wake up call that he needed and I don't know whether he's going to turn it around or not but maybe entertain the fact that he might.

14:53I think the way you put it there, it might not be ready to have him back, but a conversation. Give him a conversation. And he's done well because we get a lot of messages that stood out. He should listen to what she's got to say instead of... Yeah. Like Pete probably wants to divorce me so many times but he can't afford to. That's just a financial decision. Literally. So I... I've been advised not to. I know a divorce is not coming my way. Even if he wants to. come at me bitch yeah exactly that's why she takes the piss in the manner that she does you might leave me but you definitely won't divorce me and it is financial reason love baby till death do us part I love it right this is the part of the podcast where we hear from our sponsors and just while you're hearing from our sponsors if you could just hit subscribe that would be fantastic for us Abby if you were to give me my phone I think she's been three years now.

15:51I don't think she actually subscribes to her own podcast. No, I don't. I don't know how to do it. So if she can do it. How do we do it, Crouchy? Well, give it to me and I'll do it for you. You literally go on, press subscribe. I think then you just get all the... And then I can share it with my friends as well. You can share it with your friends. And you could even teach her how to leave a review. You could if you wanted to. This is top... Rome wasn't built in a day. Top quality content. Just subscribe, will you? Top quality content. Hi, I'm just wondering what the book is called that Pete's reading on the latest pod.

16:23Oh God, not this fucking book. Well, let me just tell you. It's Secret of Secrets by Dan Brown. And listen, Dan Brown, listen, they're Hollywood blockbusters, aren't they? Angels and Demons and Da Vinci Code. Yeah. It's along that vein. I've read a lot of these books. I enjoyed them. They're page turners. They're very... But what I like about them is they're real... There we go. There's real organisations involved in them. I agree. And I do like... It's sprinkled with facts. I think you can see it's very far fetched but it's also you can see it I love Dan Brown yeah I think remember we went to Rome after we'd watched Angels and Demons we went to the Vatican and we were like oh that's what he was that's what Dan was talking about exactly right and you can see all the things that are that are going on yeah well obviously this is very much I'm learning about Prague which is amazing and the little tunnels underneath Prague yeah yeah it's really interesting and yeah, that's the book anyway.

17:17Again, the name one more time. What's the name? The Secret of Secrets by Dan Brown. Very good. Oh, I still haven't got to the fucking secret. Do you know, I... Seriously, so frustrating. I read the three of The Handmaid and The Handmaid's Watching and the other thing. Handmaid's Tale? No, not The Handmaid's Tale. The Handmaid. Never heard of it. Is that the film? They're the worst books ever. I just don't get it. I love this Richard and Judy book club. Don't get this from Richard and Judy. I read every single one waiting for something good to happen. The crap. I hate that. Because it's an investment to book into your life and your time.

17:55And when you get to the end. It's so huge. And you're going, is that it? I need three recommendations from people. Nice. It's so huge. There's the new movie out with the gorgeous one with the big boobs. Sydney Sweeney. Ooh. Gorge. There's a movie out of it now you went to see. Yeah.

18:15Cindy Seedy the gorgeous one with the big boobs I'll take some food to see that one babe she was desperate to say it she read the book the book's a diabolical I would love that our audience's opinion on this because the whole world is talking about these books and they're plop really? plop plop well okay there's a space now I don't think Julie does it's no way I'm coming home for Christmas I know I can't talk well you know I was about 12 when I wrote my book Shall we move on? Let's move on Hi Abby and Pete Just wanted to say a big thank you Keep me entertained Throughout my pregnancy And now And also Now my baby Rory is here That is so funny Six of the first 26 So that was brand new baby Wow That fresh out of the oven That some of them was called Rory I was talking about that name Rory today I was like I love that name My best friend's called Rory One of them It's cute Yeah I've been listening during the night feeds and have to try not to wake him from laughing so much.

19:16Oh, night feet. Abby, can you give me your top tips advice as a new mum and any must have essential purchases? Lots of love, Laura and Rory. Top three. Give her a top three. Purchases. Purchases? What, for the baby? Yeah, or just top tips. Yeah. Top tips, sleep when the baby sleeps. Nice. That's a good tip, that one. Because, you know, your night is interrupted now. So when the baby's tired, they sleep a lot. Yeah. Try and get it in. Because you're that tired, do you just nod off as well? Yeah. But I'm not a day napper. I find it very difficult. So that would be tip, top tip number one. I think that's a good tip.

19:54I think you've got to eat loads as well for energy. You've got to feed your body with good stuff. Yeah. Because you're not getting any sleep and all of that stuff. And your hormones are raging. You've got to eat very well and eat a lot. Okay. The thing is good, isn't it? the one where I think it's a brand new baby though isn't it oh what about that one where they can sleep in the bed where they can sleep in the bed yeah it's called neck the chico because I had all these beautiful cots but the one that was the best was that chico next to me it's like a cot that goes next to your bed but the baby's safe yeah I've seen them they were nice because you're just next to it you don't have to kind of get up and tend to the baby I'm just thinking what else I liked you still got your eyes closed that rubber that rubber seat thing was good do you remember it was like a round thing and the legs put through like it's not for a newborn.

20:43But do you remember that? Very good. And you could sit them in and they couldn't get out. It was like a rubber. Yeah. It almost looked like a potty but it isn't. Another thing that I like those dummies that you put like the fruit in them and they suck it and they had like holes in the teats. Very good. That's clever. When a baby's like you know starting to eat solids. Yeah. It'd be like a rubber teat and they could hold it at the handle. Almost like a sugar and you could put banana and strawberries in so they could never choke. Yeah. And they could suck goodness. Wow. You could put anything in it.

21:10You could like broccoli and strawberries and banana. Calpol. Calpol for any journey you're never going, I'm going to be your best friend. 100%. Calpol's the one. Well, just before we move on, I remember I took a picture of someone who said something and it made me laugh. Totally not relevant. But someone says, do ACLs only exist so they can tear? I never hear about an ACL doing anything good. It's a bitch-ass ligament.

21:46I've never heard anyone tear anything but an ACL. That's what I mean. I said the guy's an American football. That's what Mike taught as ACL. Where is ACL? You know when you play football? Oh, your Achilles heel? No, it's your anterior cruciate ligament. Fucking hell, she's on my channel. I thought she was in your football. No, it's your knee. It basically stabilises the knee. Yeah. So when you snap it, it's a fucking big deal. It's a year out. But like any footballer or basketball player, by the looks of it, you know, when they do the ACL, it's like, oh my God, it's ACL. Oh, God. There's an anterior and an exterior ligament.

22:23So is it anterior and, yeah. No, it's interesting. Did you ever damage yours? No, no, I was lucky. But, you know, if you do that, you're out for it. Madison's done it now. I think now he's out for a year and a half. Fuck. It's long. But that just made me laugh because it's like you only ever hear about it when it snaps, right? Because you don't ever hear about, oh, my ACL is so strong. It snapped and I'm fucked. So it's a bitch-ass ligament. Bitch-ass ligament. I love that. Any more? Okay, hi, Peter, Abby, and Tudor Bob Ross. Long-time listener. This is my first attempt at a message. Straight on.

22:57Nice. One in one. Yeah. We're a family of four. Myself, my wife, Kim, two kids, Charlotte and Jack, currently on holiday in Egypt. We're a family of six. I know. He said myself. We're a family of four. Myself. We're a family of four, myself.

23:20Sorry, that was my reading. Wake up, Peter. Wake up. We just stood here in Egypt, just chilling by the pool and shabaranks Mr. Loverman has just appeared on the pool deck. Love it. needless to say the entire family have just been sunbed shabbered whilst getting a few odd looks from those not in the know just wondering if there's any holiday shabber etiquette I should be following there's far too many opportunities but I don't want to look too weird I think it's difficult in bikinis I think shabbering it's risky

23:58and it could look strange by the pool you haven't I've been shabbled with each other for a long time. Yeah, I've been shabbled with you for a little while. Also, I need a little advice on how to be polite enough to the staff without saying, look, I came on holiday to relax, not enter a table tennis competition or do aqua aerobics. Also, there's a too early... Is there a too early time to have a holiday drink? We're normally mimosa-ing breakfast fans, but no such thing here, so I'm having to rethink my breakfast. A beer with breakfast is too much, and the thought of a bloody Mary, well, let's just leave that there.

24:33Love in the pod. Lots of love. Chris Darling and family. Oh, nice name. Nice, darling. I'd like to be called Darling. Darling. Thank you, darling. Yeah. We've got friends and her surname was Perfect and then she got married and now her name's Caring. Oh, that's nice. So she's Perfect and Caring. Isn't that lovely? Lovely, very nice. I've never been a mimosary brekkie girl. Apart from Christmas Day? Apart from that. Yeah. Like, my sister does that, and my mum. I don't think there's any shame in a drink before 12 o 'clock on holiday. But I do think a beer post-11 looks... I couldn't have a glass of wine.

25:12Could be a beer. Yeah, I know what you mean. It needs to be something like a refrescant-taste drink or something. It needs to be a daiquiri before 12. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's something exotic. You know what you can get? Do you know what I love? You know a real coconut? Yeah. They cut the top of it, give you a straw and put a little shot of rum in it. Yeah, you were going to say that. They're just phenomenal. We did that once. They are acceptable. That was way before 12. And we also didn't realise it was like 50 quid for a fucking pint. Yeah, yeah. Well, to be fair, I saw the man in the morning once.

25:46Do you remember? He was up the tree, literally scything them down. I thought, if anything deserves to be expensive. It's easy. This man, I mean, he was up there. He had a little thing and he would shuffle himself up this tree. You can't believe how high it was. Cutting them down with a sword. You know what my favourite drink? No, I know it's expensive. I'd have a rubber coat, please. You know my favourite drink on earth is when we used to go to that place in Sardinia, the Bellinis there. They weren't in like a champagne glass. They were in a big goblet glass. And they were almost frozen. Like the peach puree was all fresh.

26:25I love that. I love anything frozen. Almost frozen, but it still had the fizz from the champagne and they'd give you like a bowl of, sounds terrible, tuna mayonnaise, which you could not. It's tuna mayonnaise, but this one, it would blow your mind. It's tuna mayonnaise on holiday. This place for lunch, right, is absolutely, it's the best place I've ever been for lunch. Yeah. But I remember we're sitting there on the terrace, right, The sun's going down in Sardinia. It's across the Cosbro. Emerald Sea. Phenomenal, right? And then we're sipping these Bellinis and they are massive. And we're sitting there on this terrace.

27:05And I remember Briatore and Eccleston. Yeah. Flavio Briatore and Bernie Eccleston walked past me and I went, suddenly dawned on me, how much are these fucking Bellinis?

27:18I hadn't asked any questions. Bernie, Bernie, when there's a tenner. Brother of Bellinis. I said, oh, I love those Bellinis. He's another one garçon. That's Greg. Senor, senor. Anyway, got these. Yeah, so I had a look. 50 euros per bellini. So we did 100. That's 100 euros on a bellini. Around. And you just had one for the whole holiday. Can you believe that? Yeah, but I'd like to go back there. It was phenomenal. It was almost. It wasn't worth it, but it was almost. I'm dying for some Cina May. and I doubt you put that in my head. I've got some in there. Do you remember that little pre-drink drink up the top there?

27:59Sophia, wasn't Sophia conceived there, wasn't you? Lovely. Bloody lovely. Because you're a lot more than 100 quid, don't you? Yes. Best 100 quid belated I've ever spent.

28:14Give me one more before we go crouching. One more. Okay. Hi, lovely lot. Love the pod. I was setting this the other day and I thought it would tickle you. Given the cold weather and storm Goretti, bringing snow and wind to a lot of the country, here is a live map of all the Scottish Gritters with their brilliant names. Got to love the Scots. This is hilarious. Some of these are absolute beauties. He's put a link in and he says, if you were to name your own Gritter, what are you going for? This is Paul M from Dorking. I don't know what you mean. So these are the roots of Gritters. No, no, no. So these are the Gritters themselves.

28:50So do you know the way that Eddie Sturbach they name the trucks don't they? Oh yeah. So they name the Gritters. Like Thomas the Tank. Yeah but the public can submit names for the Gritters in Scotland. So these are the names that they've got. Read some of these out. Mr Snow Let's Go. Salty Claws. Mrs McGritter. This'll do nice. This'll do icely. I'd call mine Gritter Gum. Gritter Gum Meg. That's a good one. Gritter Gum Meg. That's good. Snow Patrol. Salty Claws. Gritalica. Salt shaker. Sled Zeppelin. Nice. Snowing me, snowing you. Why are they all a bit Christmasy? Because it's grits snow, isn't it?

29:33Yeah, yeah. Grit a bit. Thistle grit through. License the chill. That is brilliant. Snow bother. Skid vicious. Hey, I like that. Skid vicious. That gets my vote. Gritta Gunberg's the best. Gritta Thunberg was the best one, yeah. Gritta Thunberg, that is a good one. Straight up the bar. Hansel and Gritta. Hansel and Gritta, nice. Hansel and Gritta, wow. Well done, Abbie. No Grit Sherlock. Let's finish there, but I'll get the best one than that. That's a great one. No Grit Sherlock.

30:15I'm funny as fuck. I just decided. Yeah. I enjoyed that little game always good I like the games and you've got a load of questions next week we should do yes I'm looking forward to those yeah I just had a little peeking of some new questions questions to ask your husband questions to ask your husband fantastic keep sending them in guys thank you guys ask me anything sure bye

From the publisher

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch Ask Us Anything, Abbey and Pete are spiralling over their imaginary house renovation — which is impressive, considering they haven’t even bought the place yet. 


The staircase has already been sold, everything is painted bone and we’re 3 Pinterest boards away from a nervous breakdown.


Things only escalate from there: Pete talks holiday rip offs, and one listener writes in begging us to help save his marriage (no pressure).


They also dive into the wild world of faux olive trees, Scottish snow gritters and give their verdict on exactly what time it is socially acceptable to crack open a cold one when on your holidays!


Enjoy this week’s Therapy Crouch, Ask Me Anything!


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