Karaoke Proposal Turned NIGHTMARE - Public Proposal Gone Wrong & His Unwanted Morning Alarm Clock...

0:00First things first, change your broadband provider, you're getting ripped off. 87 quid a month You know, ultimately I'll forget about it once I leave the street I read an article the other day somewhere about the most controversial lines in Brookie Can you say that? I didn't read it They're the first Ask me anything Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch Ask Us Anything with me, Abbey Clancy And me, Peter Crouch Hello guys And our Ross Anna Ross. Anna Ross. You all right? Cheat the word Ross. Scott, as I'm getting called by my friends now. Really? Yep, which is great. Are you? Yeah. I've always wanted the nickname.

0:42Things really catch on, don't they? This Scott thing's mad. Didn't you say... I did it. I've done it a couple of times. Told you. Yeah. You probably haven't done it for years, but I haven't realised. Yeah. I've done it a couple of times. There's no R in Scott. No, but there is in Ross. Anyway, we're not going into this again. It doesn't make any sense. No, no, no. It doesn't make any sense, but it happens. It's a phenomenon. For someone as academic as you, that's a terrible theory. What do you mean? It's not really. There's two letters at the end of it. S, S. In the next word in the alphabet is T, T.

1:13It's T, isn't it? S, T. At the beginning of the name is R in Ross and then the following letter is S for Scott. Next to each other. Yeah, the next to each other in the alphabet and there's an O in the middle. Phonetically, they sound the same. But my name's Abbey. No one calls me Kate. What's that got to do with the price of fish? Well, C and A are next by each other in alphabet and so is A &B. C &A was gone years ago. What's that? C &A? C &A? What's that? C &A was a shop, right? Mm-hmm. Before my time. Old dad gag. Showing your age there, Pete. Showing your age. Oh, okay. Shit gag as well. Okay, I'm going to get into some A &As, if that's okay.

1:53Go, go, go, go. Hi, legends. So my boyfriend proposed to me on stage at a karaoke bar. Without warning, you're halfway through Angels by Robbie Williams, dropped to one knee and yelled, she's my angel, lads. The crowd went wild. Phones out, flash on, and I just stood there holding half a pint of cider covered in pub glitter. I love him, but I dreamed of something quite romantic. Instead, I got a proposal that smells of sticky carpet and desperation. He keeps saying it was iconic. Iconic. I keep reliving it every time someone tags me in the video. do I just embrace being Mrs. Butlin's 2025? Belinda Butlins?

2:36Or do I tell him I wish he'd kept the microphone out of it? Well, she's told him now. Yeah. Great email. Oh, God. What would you say is the perfect proposal? I mean, well, that's not the perfect proposal in my eyes, but to have a song behind it, Angels is not a bad song. I'm loving angels instead. My man, she's my angel. Yay! Yay! People lobbing pints to the front. I don't like those ones in public spaces. Like, we've seen loads of care over the years, like in restaurants, at football matches. I've never seen one in my life, you know. I'd quite like to see one. I've seen them a few times. Yeah, we've seen them.

3:14But I don't know. I don't like that big public one. Privacy is the way to go for me. I think so, yeah. Intimacy. Yeah. And also, you've got it in the back of your mind. Even if you're 99 % short, there's a 1 % chance you could go, no, no, I can't do it, whatever. So you're barking up the wrong tree. Imagine at the Super Bowl and you're on the big screen doing that. I think it's a private, special moment. I would prefer something more intimate. That's what I think. But do you know what? For that, that's a great story to look back on and say, when they're together 25 years from now, be like, God, can you believe your dad proposed to me in this way?

3:51You know, it is nice, isn't it? I think those stories are always great, aren't they? good stories. And I think she could say to him, look, that wasn't my ideal proposal. We've got a great story, but I would actually like a surprise. I'm going to make up for it by by me adding two more carrots onto that island. Yeah. But we're going to have 140 people at the wedding now. Yeah. But if you could surprise me with an intimate one, you could do that. Or you can always do it again at the Vow Renewal. If you make it there. If you make it. Okay. Hello from Canada. Huge fan of the show and crouchy. I wish she played for Arsenal though.

4:26So my wife recently gave birth to our second daughter and constantly is feeling self-conscious in her body and doesn't want to go out with friends so much anymore. How can I build her confidence up? She still has a banging body and I find her gorgeous still. Cheers, Josh. Oh, that's a tough one. Send us a pick in, Josh. We'll tell her. Let's see the banging body. Do you know what? that is something that she's going to work on herself because no matter how good you look, it's how you feel. When you have a baby, your hormones are all over the place. You know, it takes time. It takes time. And the third, like, you know, second, third, fourth baby, your body definitely doesn't bounce back as quickly as it did the first time.

5:14That's what I was just going to say, actually, but did your mental state kind of bounce back? If you know what I mean? Mine did. I didn't suffer with any, like, postnatal depression or anything like that, did I? I think I had it during pregnancy. I had prenatal depression. Jornatal depression. I did think you struggled during pregnancy, but I think the moment it came out, you were very much back to yourself. But I was speaking to my mum about this, and I was like, oh, God, my belly's so saggy. And she's like, that's like an honour. You've had four babies in there. It's because of... Yeah, wear it like a prize.

5:47Wear it like, wear it with pride. It's not, by the way. What? Baggy. Saggy I said, not baggy. You cheeky bastards. Yeah. You say my baggy's baggy? No, it's neither. No, it's hard, but I think, you know, just... Give it time, maybe. Give it time. And what I would suggest is kind of trying to do things that you did before you were kids. So you're a bit more like dating each other and... But yeah. Okay. um hi abby pete and ross love the pod recently started watching footballers wives from the early 2000s and what a classic uh cheesy and shocking but also iconic and makes me long for brick phones and no social media to become the normal normal again welcome to our world um my question for you is was life as a footballer and a footballer's wife really like that without naming names is is it really that dramatic watching the series has really opened a can of worms for me and i've Found myself going down Google rabbit holes searching for all the goss from 20 years ago.

6:54The goss. Thanks for all the laughs. It's got this goss there, isn't it? Yeah, like, obviously not like footballers' wives. That was the drama. I haven't put fig tan on my baby. Or pierced her ears and put diamond studs in her. But there's drama, definitely. There was drama. But there was, it's definitely not, I wouldn't say it like that, would you? Well, there was that whole wag era wasn't there and it was you know a media circus all the wags out with their outfits and the bags and you were kind of at the peak you kind of were like the zenith of that weren't you really if you think about it I know it's not comfortable to look back and talk about but like you were really weren't you but I'm not saying football but I've had many a wag headline but I used to love football as well if my mum let me sometimes stay up late and watch it and be like after the bill wasn't it I feel like I get it if you like Footballers Wives, let me draw your attention to Dream Team.

7:52Are you across Dream Team? I'm not across Dream Team. Oh, I used to love Dream Team. Give Dream Team a shot. Is it? Linda Block, Carl Fletcher. Footballers Wives got a bit sexy, didn't it, as well? As a kid, I remember thinking this. She was gorgeous. What was the blonde one? In the one that you all told me, is that still sexy? Was she? No, the blonde... It's more a Sky One. What was the main... What was the main actress called? What was the main actress called in Footballers Wives? the blonde one with those beautiful eyes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they have a curly wig? No, straight. She had a straight bleach blonde bob.

8:25She was in another show. We saw her at our golf club, didn't we? We did, yeah. One Christmas, and she was... Her name's not Chardonnay. Chardonnay was the other thing. Chardonnay was in the... For both of us, wife's castle. Chardonnay was Ronny O'Sullivan's wife, I believe. Remember when someone got pushed down the elevator? In real life. Oh, Zoe Locker. Zoe Locker. Tanya Turner. She was, well, is gorgeous. Yeah, she still is. Yeah, still is. Fabulous. We met her, didn't we? Last Christmas, I think it was. Yeah. Or maybe a couple of Christmases ago and she was gorgeous in person. Yeah. But her character.

9:00Oh, she was a coward. I would love to play someone like that. Didn't she kill her husband and she throw him down the elevator? Yeah. Didn't she? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk, come back to me now. That's right. A similar thing happened to Linda Block in Dream Team as well. She's obviously fit Linda Block because you know the whole name. Yeah, she's married to Chairman. Let's see Linda Block. Oh, she's in Corrie, isn't she now? I think she was in Corrie or something, yeah. With the big lips. Linda Bloch. We'll have a look. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She worked in the factory in Corrie. She's in Corrie. What's her name in Corrie?

9:29Oh, yeah. Babe. I used to fancy her as well, Pete. Everyone you fancy is a brunette, by the way. What's her name? Corrie? I remember seeing Carl Fletcher, though. He was the star striker, right? Number nine. And I loved him. And I remember I saw him in Ask Pizza in Q. and obviously in the show, he's like rolling around Ferraris, and he just got in a Clio. Oh, fuck, no. Well, you got in your Ferrari. And look at him! That's not Carl Fletcher. Who the hell is this imposter?

10:09Very good, very good. I enjoyed that question. Make me think of Naughty TV. Bad Girls just came into my head for some reason. I love Bad Girls. Bad Girls is phenomenal. What was the other one? Band of Gold? Oh, yeah. Al used to love Band of Gold. Do you remember that? Yeah, I do. ITV's awesome corkers, didn't they? Some great dramas. And it was the heyday of Soaps as well. Do you know what I mean? Brookie. Soaps was off the charts in those days. They came back to a little crossover. Did you see that? They did, like, I think they did, I read an article the other day somewhere about the most controversial lines in Brookie.

10:40Can you see them? I didn't read it. They're the first. Great story for the pod, mate. Nice one, bro. Love that one. Trust me, bro. Oh, my God, you're going to die. You're going to die about this. You know, we went to visit some friends earlier in the week. Yeah. And one of the guys we were with, an older guy, started talking about politics. And I went, don't even get me started. And he went, oh, I get it, I get it. I was like, I can't, I can't do another day of this. I can't do it. and uh pete was but he was was he bought into it oh fully no i get it he was like nah i get it do you know what we're on our holidays let's not let's have a yeah yeah let's not drag the tone down without fucking pain in the ass woman or whatever her name is yeah brilliant very good i love that well done it's a good way of getting out of it okay so my husband does a new thing when he wakes up uh let's just say ready to go At first, it was funny, a bit flattering even.

11:51But now it's every single morning, before work, before coffee, before I've even looked my eyes. He's like, morning, babe. And I know what's coming, literally. The other day I said, not now, I've got a 9am meeting. And he went, make it 9.05. I nearly threw the alarm clock at him. He's convinced it's good for mental clarity and says I should match his energy. I'm sorry, but I can barely match my socks before caffeine. How do I tell him I'm flattered, but I'd rather start the day with a croissant, not a cardio fish. Do you know what? I love a self-awareness. Push it to 905. Actually, 903 will do.

12:24Push that to 905. That's so funny. Every day's a bit much, isn't it? Every morning. Before you've opened your eyes. I feel like rabbits. No, can we ask that? It does make you more alert, though. Yeah. Well, it wakes you up. It certainly does. Well, it doesn't wake you up. No? Not nice. Not with you, Pig.

12:50I'm drifting off. Doesn't wake me up. Sounds to me straight to sleep. Usually true. Me? No, I was saying, if you do it in the morning, it does put a bit of a spring in your step for the day, but at night you want to go to sleep. Yeah, I agree. I don't have a preferred time with that. I'll take it when I can get it, to be honest. But not every day. No. I need a break. I need a break. I just... She needs to get one of them eye masks with fuck off on it. I've got one of them. To get the pyjamas. Full on pyjamas. Okay, perfect solution. Get yourself a full set of fleece buttoned up pyjamas. Wear them back to front.

13:33And tie them as tight as you can. There's no way you're going to get in there in five minutes. Oh, John bought me some for Christmas, didn't you? And you went, oh. There we go again. Nice one, bruv. Sorry, Pete. Got the old passion killers. I love them now. The passion killers. That's a great name. Oh, well. I hope you two are well. I'm deep in the trenches of training for the Paris Marathon, which mostly means a lot of sweating, chafing, and questionable life choices. Your podcast has been keeping me sane. I've been cracking up mid-run. So often other runners, members of the public, think I'm losing it.

14:06I'm running to raise awareness for breast cancer. My mum's fought it off three times, so this one is personal. Your episodes have been real company during the long miles. Thank you. Do either of you have a desire to run a marathon yourselves? I'm curious if you're secretly closet endurance athletes or you prefer to experience the pain vigorously through listeners like me. Thanks for the laughs. Keep them coming. That's Suze from Nottingham. Oh, that's amazing that she's doing that. Well done. Really good. Are you a closet endurance athlete, Ami? Not in the running sense, no. No. what sense? Well, I'd like to do like a kind of 24 hours on horseback kind of vibe.

14:48I cannot run. So you'd like to sit down for 24 hours? What the... Oh, I'd have missed that one, love it. Not per se. That's some serious endurance. No, babe, you would not believe. Stay awake. Yesterday after my lesson, I was saturated. So I'm learning to do canter pirouette at the moment. Was that like a canter turn? A pirouette turn, wasn't it? Yeah, a pirouette turn, but the horse... Switch his legs, switch his palms off. No, the horse does that in the air, in a circle. So you have to sit heavy enough for him to push his back down, less weight at the front, but you also have to open his forward cantering leg up with one steering and then bring it back, but sit on your other bum, so it's really technical.

15:39I was saturated. And I'm not a sweaty person. No, it's tough. But it's really, really hard. Have you seen the jockeys? No, they're in the top knick. And they're not like, what do you call that form of... Dressage. Dressage, yeah, they're on top knick, aren't they? Yeah, we've seen Anthony. Bloody body on it. Phenomenal. But yeah, hats off to people who do these marathons. I would not know where to begin. Yep, agreed. Very well done. Sid's the gun, didn't he? yeah I it's something I don't know it's like a bit of a desire of mine I would I don't it's not a burning desire you did five minutes in a high rocks class and couldn't walk through it but I'd like to see how I get on you'd be able to do it because you you ran the most mileage and football game out of the whole team you used to do 14km per match yeah yeah km I used to do like 13km probably people say 14km you go 14km I thought it is km Kilometers, yeah.

16:37Yeah, it is. Is that what 5K is? Yeah. KM? That's how much of a runner she is. KM. KM. How long would it take to do a 5K run in a jog? Oh, God, to the big man. Speedy McSpeederson over here. Sophia does 5Ks all the time. She used to do those par groups. I know, if five minute mile, it could go in, right? Five minutes a mile. No, that's like... That's like fucking top level. 5K, I think you could probably do in about 25 minutes. See, that's how I wouldn't do it because I'd want to be elite. And I couldn't be. So I'd just be like, I'm not. And your nipple. I was with a girl who did the London Marathon the other day.

17:14Every single one of her toenails fell off when she was running over Tower Bridge. She said she felt them fall off in her socks and just had to carry on running and was in too much pain with other bodily parts to care. And then I spoke to another lad whose nipples basically chafed themselves off. And I just thought, why would you be supposed to cover them with plasters? Not worse than doing that. I mean it sounds pretty imagine feeling she showed me what a foot look like every single toenail was off we met we had a speaker in one of the kids schools and he did a marathon a day for Eddie Izzard Eddie Izzard did that yeah Eddie Izzard did it 52 and 52 52 and 54 he had like one day off the whole middle of it and it's amazing do you know he only did nine months training for that as well it's incredible really that or less something like sorry nine weeks training or something It's actually amazing.

18:05It's a mindset though, which is why you will be able to do it. I'd like to think I would be able to do a marathon. But yeah. Why don't you do one? I will in my lifetime. I'll sponsor you. I've got your card on my phone. Pound the mile.

18:21If it's anything like my football, you'll be at the buffet. Miss it all. She'll be car-blowing for you. I'll be bladded at the finish line. You 100 % wouldn't go on, are you? There's our pitch. Go, babe. You can do it. Okay, it feels like a pretty good place to take a quick break and hear from our sponsors. And remember, if you're enjoying this top-class Crouch content, don't forget to share with your friends and family. All right. Please, can you ask Abby where she had her stomach skin tightening as my children have done me a mischief? Would love to go on a recommendation as she looks great. Please keep me in on so I can pretend it's all the sit-ups I don't do.

19:03I went to Natalie Kelly and it was a machine called HIFU. And it's collagen inducing, skin tightening. And after four kids, I'd try anything. But it's expensive, but it does work. But I would say you have to go to a properly trained person to do it. Because I know people who've had problems with that. Botulones, everything. Yeah, it's because it's kind of like how it works. It kind of heats up the fat. Yeah. but if you take if you dissolve the fat then you can be left with the adverse which is loose skin so the combination has to be right so you have to go to someone who's is that like what that famous superman had done to her face yeah she had like Linda Evangelista yeah yeah yeah she had that cool sculpt and it like generated fat yeah yeah so it's along the obviously I'm no doctor but go on you've got no any stars though

20:00she could have been Hi team. So my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. Not just forgot, like fully didn't realise until I handed him a card. What a bastard. He looked at it, went pale and said, oh my God, is that today? I laughed it off in the moment, but honestly, I'm still stinging. He swears he's just not good with dates, but he somehow remembers every fixture Arsenal played since 1998.

20:25I love him and I don't want to be petty, but how do you stop resenting someone who remembers the Premier League schedule better than your relationship milestones. But I did that to Kaz. So like, I should never forget Kaz's birthday because it's Liberty's. It's me mum's, Liberty's, Kaz's, Jack's. Yeah. And I called Kaz five times on her birthday and didn't say happy birthday to her. But I don't know. How are you? I joke. That's heavy salad, that mean. I speak to Kaz 10 times a day. Yeah. I spoke to her like five times and still hadn't. And then I thought, then I was just getting Jack's birthday presents ready for the next morning.

21:04I thought, fuck, I've missed Kaz's birthday. It looks like Kaz is so sweet. But I hate those people who don't remind you. That's why I don't get it. It just drives me mad. Agreed. Like she should say, oh. And if A.S.T.E. come home, she'll make some plans. Exactly. Do you know what I mean? It's that one as well. It's like you ring someone and you say, oh, what are you up to? It's my birthday today, isn't it? Yeah. That's what I would say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you don't say it and you wait for the other, I just don't know what that game that is. However, what I will say is, with the anniversary, it can work out as cash in the bank.

21:33If you think they've forgotten it and you want to do something else, i.e. gold trip, you can go, she's forgot the anniversary, yeah. When it's our anniversary, we're always on holiday. When I'm on holiday, I don't know what date it is. Agreed. I'm just like, it's Wednesday. I don't even know what day it is. I text John two days early for this the other day. So how would that go down if that was my excuse? You gobsh. On fairness, we're on holiday. I don't even know what date it is. Yeah, but I'm like, I know it's our anniversary, but I didn't know it was today because I haven't checked what date it is today.

22:04If it's any, like I agreed with birthdays and stuff like that, you've got to go, oh, it's my birthday today. We're going for a pint. Do you want to come? But anniversaries. No, it's the worst. Like Robin does it to me all the time, and Kara, so it was my birthday yesterday. Oh, that's so... Why didn't you tell me? But then I wouldn't text someone to say, it's my birthday, why haven't you texted me? No, if you... Do you know what I mean? I sent Lib flowers on the 22nd and sent us the 28th. She said, it's not my birthday. and I told everyone, Elfie, El, Kaz, everyone text him. It's like, it's Liberty's birthday.

22:32We forgot. She was like, thanks, it's a week early. Well, at least you're thinking of her. Yeah. Hey, Pete and Abby and Ross, my boyfriend loves to tell people we're really good at sharing everything 50-50. In theory, that sounds great. In reality, I pay the bills, I buy the groceries, and he pays for things in other ways. Apparently, loading the dishwasher twice a week is the same as council tax. Last week he said, you can't put a price on emotional support. I said, actually, I can. It's£87 a month for the Wi-Fi you use for your gaming. £87 a month? He's not lazy, just a bit delusional, and I need your Agniab expertise on how to make him see the light.

23:11Oh, get rid. First things first, change your broadband provider. You're getting ripped off. £87 a month. I mean, I'm not sure what games he's playing. No. Jesus Christ. Get on you switch, babe. yeah i would i would maybe shop around a little bit yeah are you buying roblox or something for boyfriends and wi-fi

23:36yeah no i i'd get rid of him i don't like him why not scab that's what he is you can't have hair paying all the bills and his only contribution is to empty the dishwasher Twice a week. No. You know, just expose him for being on the couch playing games. On a national podcast. I would sell his computer thing and say, I'm putting this money towards the council tax. Yeah, that's a good shout. Sell his like PS5 and then that, yeah, that's a good shout. Or just speak to him about it. Or just dump him. I'd say get rid. If you're lazy at the start, you're going to be even worse at the end. and it's also disrespectful.

24:18What do you think though? It shows a person's morals. I know not everyone. If he was hoovering the whole house making the beds and emptying the dishwasher every day but couldn't afford to contribute. Yeah. That's a different story. But being on your computer game, emptying the dishwasher once a week, that just doesn't cut it, sister. She could be putting a bit of lazzy on it though. She doesn't sound too pissed off. I'd like to hear his point of view as well. Before you get rid of him. How big is the dishwasher? Okay. Cardi P, Abby and Tudor Bob Scott. I absolutely love the pod. You all make me laugh very much.

24:58Pete and Abby, I just love your relationships. You both are so fun and clearly have so much love for each other. Aww. Tudor. I'm looking for advice on long-distance relationships, as I know you spend a lot of time apart when Pete was playing football. I'm 27, my boyfriend's 29. We both work in the music industry. My boyfriend is currently touring America and will be living there for the foreseeable future. Well, I'm in England, living in Liverpool, which I love. We will be visiting each other as often as we can, but the distance and time difference can be difficult. Obviously, this also affects planning for the future when we could move in together, et cetera.

25:36We just want to make sure we can still grow together and not apart and keep the magic alive. You two seem to have a wonderful relationship and have been through a lot together. So do you guys have any tips and tricks on how to make a long distance work well? We want to be thriving it, not surviving it. Two words, send nudes.

26:00Well, I'll give the spice a live flower. Keep it spicy, yeah. You could have Zoom, Zoomacourse. Zoomacourse? Just rolls off the tongue. Look at you now, you've done that before. Zoomacourse. I just made it up. I was just taking it. You just coined that. I've just, it's not very good. Come on. Zumagos. I like it. It's not good. Zumagos. It's not good. I'm just. Depends who you're doing it with. I was just going back to when we went to the lakes and we had a slowgasm. Oh, no, no, no, no. No. Slogasms are the future, by the way. I don't, I kind of want to know what they are, but I don't want to know.

26:40It's slow gin. Oh. Mixed with champagne. It's like that time we had sex on the beach as well. Very witty. Very, very witty. I like it. Yeah, it's called a slowgasm. They sound great. I'm glad I went down like a street, to be honest. You had one? I did. I loved it every moment of it. Makes a bloody change.

27:07So that's not long distance. How did you kind of not lose this? But we never really had long distance. Is it long this? Because you're hurt. No. Well, yeah, you did. When I went away of England or I was away in Europe. And when you went to Burnley for a few weeks, but you still came back twice a week. That was only for... You're only there for like a month. You only did that for a month. We're on the phone all the time. Yeah. I'd struggle with that. I really would. I think... I wonder if she could get a placement job over there as well. If I had a definitive time on it, so I'm going for a year to year placement with work or whatever.

27:45I think you could do it. You could make it work maybe, but indefinite, you can't do that. Something has to give. Yeah, I agree. Hopefully it's musically a little failing. Get yourself over there. You'll get a job at QuickSafe.

28:00Well, that's that, babe. We're all like... I hope it works out for them. Me too. But, you know, ultimately I'll forget about it once I leave the street.

28:17You're such a heartless cow, aren't you? No, she's in a dilemma. Like, link, subscribe, everyone, you are valued listeners. No, she needs help. I think, right, let's... Send nudes, do Zoom calls. Nudes, Zoom calls. One more, George. Do a trip abroad. Try and move there, get over there. Yeah. Bish, bash, bash. Okay. Till next week.