Livin’ The Dream! Abbey and Peter Talk Holiday Meltdowns, Puppy Fever and Cold Sea Swims | AMA

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2:23It made the whole process so much less stressful. Now, taking care of your health just got easier. Download the ZocDoc app today. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C, and book that appointment on your to-do list. My fella has one phrase, live in the dream. I've counted 19 times. He did 19 of those in one day. In one day, live in the dream, babe. What's my phrase for you? That's what I do. Not true. It is. It's just I did it once. I went in the Irish Sea once and it does something to your lower region. It gives you a vagina. Chode in the hole. It's chode-ish. Yeah, I'll give a chode in the hole. Look, guys, you know that's a thing, micro-penises.

3:08Hello and welcome to The Therapy Crouch. Ask Me Anything with me, Abbey Clancy. Me, Pete Crouch. Me, guys. Hello, guys. How are we? You still sick, baby? I was just feeling a little bit, yeah. The doctor's coming in half an hour. Really? Yeah, just a little bit under. He's never sick. Not really. No. So this is like, you know, if Sophia wasn't ill as well, I'd just fuck him off. But I know it's real. Do you get sick? I've never seen you, oh, Portugal once, I think you got a little bit of a, a little bit run down. I can't remember. A little bit fluey. I can't remember. I don't normally get the coldy thing.

3:42I'll probably get the vomiting bug once a year. Really? Yes. In a bad way? No, not in a bad way. Oh, really? I'm not a coldy coffee person. Am I? No. Let's be positive now. We don't want to bring this down, right? It's about illnesses. No. We're all fine. We're all fine. I just sound like a bit like Barry White. She's great for the ladies. It's quite sexy. I'm digging it. Exactly. See you, mate. Peter. We're talking about illnesses. I just did this whole, like, blood work thing that I want to do. And they see what you're deficient in. Yeah. And what you're, like, predisposed to and what you would benefit from.

4:23because I really want to September just get on it. You know, I'm getting older. Yeah. I want to be healthy. I want longevity. Yeah, I mean, I've been swimming again. Yeah, swim club started this morning. Swim club started again. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Which is great because we're camping in our own house. It's like, it's the bed and then it's just glass and then I can just lie in bed watching them swim, eating my tea and toast like that. like a fat pig it's nice but you know like to my memory away we were obviously one of the Channel Islands which was beautiful by the way and I was getting up at like 7 in the morning every day and going into the sea it's freezing but you go in and swim what is the Atlantic?

5:07every day yeah you go in the sea? every morning I did it oh mate it was amazing sauna sea sauna amazing and there's this little cove of this little bay where there's this little beach and I was jumping in there and it was just fantastic and I met Swim and Soup Club here we go two of your favourite things yeah I would have favourite everyone knows me knows I love a swim and I love a soup you do love a soup I've stumbled upon my home do you know what I've got you tonight what I was doing broccolins don't you have you really yes that's why I love you yeah and I got a really special olive oil for you to have love you yeah and that's what your dinner's going to be you're a good girl babe but I ate half the French stick around the shop Does anyone else do that?

5:50I've never known if you like it. Yeah, but the abs always... I eat a whole French stick walking around the shop. Which is plain. I've once seen almost a whole French stick be devoured on the way through. Is that stealing, do you think? I think so. You pay for it at the end, don't you? Yeah. Oh, yeah. But yeah, I mean, what a club. They've all got dry robes on. They all go in. Oh, I love a dry robes. I'll be honest with you, me and the lads who were doing it. Yeah. And Lucinda. And Lucinda. Lucinda was in there. She came one day. we came like half an hour late so they start at 7 we started at half 7 and then we came out and we were in for about 3 seconds whereas they do an actual swim I was just about to ask were you swimming or were you just we kind of dip we're kind of more dips and chips and they're swims and soups see I really want to be that person a dipper no but I hate the cold and I know the health benefits you know we had evenings out babe didn't we and like you're drinking and that fog in the morning, when you get in there, it's just gone.

6:51Yeah. So good. Yeah. Yeah. It really does feel good and you feel like alive. Was it Baltic? Baltic cold? Like really cold? It was probably three degrees. I felt colder. You felt colder? I felt colder. It was cold. Okay. But I have been in sea that's colder. You've got a flying ant on your shoulder. It's the sea. Not anymore. I don't know how you do it. Man to man talk just for a second. I went in the Irish Sea once and it does something to your lower region that I've never experienced in my life the freezing cold yeah but like did it go inside your pretty much it gives you a vagina basically it gives you a vagina it's like a tiny bit left and it's really it's gone really hard you must have a really small knob if that happens to you she's done me again it does do something to your penis there's no doubt no denying that yeah it's unbelievable and kind of painful it can be painful yeah what does it like it's a little noddy hole day it just kind of goes all shrunk like that and then like isn't that called like a chode is that what it's called the chode I believe so I've heard that term but I don't really know what it is chode in the hole it's chode-ish yeah I'll give it chode in the hole but guys you know that's a thing micropenises oh B.A.

8:09you shouldn't be ashamed let's ask you some questions let's ask us anything Exactly. But you know what? It's fucking freezing. Yeah. But it feels good. And that's the main thing. I'd like to do it next time. All your body just feels good. Tingles. Above your penis. Does it hurt you? No, it doesn't hurt my penis. Do you want to get into these ask me anythings? Yeah, ask me things. Do you? Can you ask me? A lot of people have asked for us to show our new member of our family, Coco. I feel like there's something else there. So this is Coco. Oh, my God. Have you not seen her? No, I've not met Coco.

8:49Hello. This is our little Coco. I've heard people shouting it in the garden. Coco. So she is four months old. Half dog and half ferret. She's, yeah, our new member. And she's absolutely gorgeous. So she? So where did you pick her up from? So she is, she needed a home. We gave her ours for some reason. and I thought this is not going to make any difference to us no idea why we've got four dogs now four dogs but this this is not even a dog it's like a tiny tiny tiny little angel who needed a home she's four months old and I just know like I hope my memory that my kids memory of me would be like mum would just let us have any animal yeah and like say yes to everything apart from you know iPads and sweets Yeah.

9:44I have lost all control of my household. She just brought this one home and I had no... But, you know, it's no bother. I'm not even bothered about it. But that's the thing. Like, I know your personality enough to be like... I know you'll be like, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I wouldn't choose it. He doesn't know that we've just measured up for, like, a fence today for the... Claire said she'd get me some mini donkeys. I've got her on camera saying it. Mini donkeys? Yeah, when we moved in. Oh yeah? The garden? Yeah. Oh nice. I'm going to keep you posted as well because I think I've seen some duck eggs.

10:18Oh my god yeah we have. We've got duck eggs. Potentially. Nice. Watch this space. You heard it here first. Do you want to get into these? Let's get into them. Alright.

10:42your shoulder or you're constantly adjusting throughout the day, it's definitely time to get a better fit. That's why we love Aerie. Their bras are designed to be the essential effortless first layer with soft fabrics, great fits, and up to 59 sizes so you can find the one that's right for you. Your bra should be holding you in, not holding you back. Visit Aerie.com to find the right brow for you. That's A-E-R-I-E dot com. Summer's supposed to be the easy season. So why are so many people quietly Googling a therapist between summer Fridays? Because more daylight doesn't fix the hard stuff. Sometimes it just turns the volume up.

11:22Grow does therapy differently. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session. Grow helps you find therapy on your time. The therapist you want takes your insurance on Grow. Grow accepts over 125 insurance plans. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. Visit growtherapy.com slash ACAST today to get started. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST.

12:05Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. Hi guys. Right, this is so stupid, but it's genuinely affecting my life. My fella has one joke, just one. And it's not even a joke, it's a phrase. And the phrase is living the dream. Living the dream. You ask him how he is, living the dream. You ask him how work was, living the dream. I love this guy. We're stuck in traffic in the rain and I've spilt my coffee all over myself. Living the dream, babe. It was funny in 2022. It was torelable. I can't say that. Torelable. Torelable. In 2023, we are now well beyond the point of no return. And every time he says it, a little part of Lee leaves my body and hovers near the ceiling.

12:51I've counted. I did it a full day of counting 19 times. He did 19 of those in one day. In one day. In one day. No way. And he has no idea he's doing it. It's fully automatic now. It's less than a joke and it's more of a nervous tick with a positive spin. So my question is, how do you kill a cash phrase without killing the man? Is it kinder to say something or just accept that I've married a motivational fridge magnet and Pete, does Avi have a phrase that's driven you to the edge? Oh, yes, he does. And I need to know, is it survivable? Jess, currently living the dream. I hate it. That's hilarious.

13:29What's my phrase for you that you say? This is what I do. No, she asked me, do I have a phrase that you do? No. She said, does Pete, Abby, does Pete have a phrase that gets on your nerves? I said that once. No, you always go, this is what, you always, but you only say it specifically to teens. I've said it once. No, you don't. You're like, this is what I do, and you do that. I did it once and it gave you the ick that much. You're like, flex. Can't leave it. You're like, flex your muscles and go, this is what I do. I got very excited and I was like, I can't remember what happened or something. This is what, like, yeah, come on, like.

14:04No, it wasn't. What's that? Basically, the boys came in and me and Lucinda in the bedroom, looking out of everyone arriving. And he had to guess this song for all these teenagers and like he's just trying to be cool with them, blah, blah, blah. And he guesses the band. Trying to be cool. I'm effortlessly cool with that I guess the band and the kids are like oh my god Peter you know it and he was like that's what I do that's what I do that's what I do and he always does it like if he jumps off it's not true it is it's just I did it once like it's offended you that much no because it makes your skin crawl does it really it makes you scalken I mean you scalken that make your skin crawl do I say anything I think when you lie about things like that, that probably makes my skin crawl.

14:57What do you mean? No, when I'm watching you bare-faced lie and I present it. What do you mean? By lie, do you mean adding a bit of a lassy to the story? Well, you know. I love a bit of a lassy. Was that lacquer? Is that lassy? No, elastic. No, elastic. Elastic, oh, right. If you add a bit of elastic to the story, you know. You know, it's not offensive. It's not a crime. It's not hurting anyone. It's actually not a lie. Yeah. It's an embellishment of the truth. Yeah, I think... Don't brand me as a liar because that's not the point. No, you do, mate. I mean, usually I'm telling the story, you take that story off me and then tell it with a lie in it.

15:35Give me an example. Go, go. Hi, every time. Every time. I mean, it's pretty sure it happens on this podcast quite regularly. Oh, shut up. There's nothing that you've given me the ick about. ever, I don't think. That's not true. No, ick-wise, you've pissed me off at times, but ick-wise. It doesn't give me the ick, I just like, ugh. I mean, that has to go, that live in the dream one. Live in the dream. I like live in the dream. Live in the dream. You say live in the dream all the time. I think it's positive and... Fuck me. It's like Dr. Doolittle. Yeah, it is literally Dr. Doolittle. You're going to make a lovely coat.

16:18you're going to make a lovely bag and then check I've got the gluten oh come on Bam aww aww look at this blimey look at this come on let's go I know Bam Jeffy up up what is this menagerie of dogs right babe hit me again please dear Abby Pete and Gaz OG listener here absolutely love the pod don't think I've ever resonated with anything so much often talk about how I feel like I'm listening to an audio book of my own life only much on a much smaller budget I refer to myself and my husband as Aldi Middle Isle Avi and Pete. Not wrong with Aldi. Like Aldi. You know, you really want to be able to afford the Premier League footballer and six foot legs for days model, but sometimes the budgets just don't allow it.

17:09So I head to the Middle Isle of Aldi and you just pick up the five foot two with a wonky smile, dupe, and a guy that the last time kicked his football kicked his own feet from under him and landed flat onto his back, squashing his own backpack. True story. And I've not yet got over the ick of witnessing it. He kicked a football fellow and smashed his backpack. That sounds a bit like Chris, our caramera. Earlier, we were having a little kickabout with your nets in the garden. You've got some nets in your garden. And what happened? I looked for one second. Rugby's more your game. I looked at him he was running up to kick the ball next thing I look over he's on his arse I don't even know how it's happened and trying to get up without noticing like that really quick like really coy cool yeah I would love to have seen that anyway onto the real reason for my email me and the Crouch Dupe decided to book a last minute holiday for us and our two kids on Sunday and here we are on a Wednesday driving to the airport I'm on my 100th meltdown of the morning and me and my dupe have fallen out more times than I would have liked to have counted I have a banging headache and I feel like I haven't packed anything because I've had no time to prepare.

18:13And I just realised I'm in full-on airport app mode. Only I'm on steroids because I've only had three days to prepare. Fully would not recommend it. I can't lie, I'm a fucking monster right now. And to add to it, the bloody Crouch Dupe has everyone's G-hit cards besides mine. I'm unsure if he's planning on pushing me off a cliff, but if you see the news with a sad story attached, you know I told you so. Can you give me any advice how to tolerate my utter moron of a husband, who, by the way, I asked him to leave out what he wanted packing for the week. And get this, four pairs of boxers, four T-shirts and one pair of shorts.

18:46Give me effing strength. Much love. I'd hopefully come to you soon from a bar in Grand Kid area, Airport M. That anger that comes out of you women. What is the deal with that? There's no need for going on holiday. When was the last time you saw Airport Ab? You've been good. You've been better on airport runs. but it's just no need. Is there like the anger there? Like, this crouch tube. You're a bloody crouch tube yourself. What was airport ab like then? Was this something from the... You do not want to know. No, it's just stressful because, you know, I pack six cases, do everything, and Pete just swans in like a bloody galah.

19:33You touch the bag, it's like, you know, you've just I don't know set her on fire you're not allowed to you know it's all in a certain place you can't touch it yeah yeah when we were on this trip I emptied and packed the cases every single day yeah for the my family to just go in and drag it all out but I'd have dirty colour coordinated in the bag and I'd move all the clean clothes over to the other one um I think men just have to just give us space I just I I'm happy with giving you space but we don't in a hotel room it's like it's hard isn't it it's hard yeah yeah yeah we just seem to piss them off just breathing really I think that I think that should change globally in my opinion yeah get something going for it what's your advice for her to tolerate her husband well I mean I just he sounds like a stand up guy to me I actually thought oh my god I wish I could be that concise when it's packing four pairs of knickers four tops a pair of shorts did anyone write in to help me with packing tips packing tips because I was really struggling with it you know so many clothes you don't wear any of them I never ever seem to get it right and I'm so organised and I just can't do it I will have a look I can help if you want I just think this whole packing thing is bizarre it just does not cross my mind I know you've got to pack for all the kids and stuff as well.

21:05And you. When have you ever packed your own bag? Well, yeah. I have packed my bag. I can pack my bag. I just don't think it should be so stressful. If you want, I'll do it one day. Just leave it to me. You couldn't. You couldn't. I could. Jack likes his mum packing, don't you, baby? He does. He does. Go on then, guys. You read one. Shall I read one? All right. This is from Anon. Hi, guys. Big fan. Anon. they're all a non now they're all a non everyone's shit themselves I think it's because it's so massive everyone hears it don't they to be fair you know what you're probably onto something hi guys I'm a big podcast fan I started listening a few months ago and I finally caught up wow that's a lot of eps to get through your advice regarding wedding tips has always been beneficial so I thought I'd write in with my wedding dilemma okay I get married to the love of my life LOML in 2028 and need to pick my maid of honour slash chief bridesmaid for our special day I don't have a lot of friends 2028 do people plan it that far ahead what do they plan it a wedding does this feel far away 2028 we're only in 2025 26 26 still two years people do two years two years to plan do they before you had like two year engagement and then like a year and you get married or something I don't know it's not even a Russian is it good point just plan it for two years yeah no one's got anything planned then have they because you can get everyone there 2027 they might have fair point I don't have a lot of friends just a few very special friends I have one best friend let's call a friend A who I don't speak to every day and sometimes I can go weeks without seeing her but we have been best friends for 12 years she's very special to me then friend B is my absolute bestie we work together so we see each other every day we speak after work we're non-stop voice noting and phone calling just like Abby and Kaz she knows me better than anyone and is my sidekick I love that I love the fact that people know all your mates names it's just like as if they're mates with you and Kaz as well it's funny that that's what's so good about the pod isn't it people think they're involved it's weird actually yeah do I pick friend A who I've been friends with for longer and experienced more of our lives together or do I pick friend B but this could hurt friend A's feelings or do I just not have a maid of honour and have them both play equal roles thanks Anonymous in case they listen Yeah, the equal roles is a good show.

23:27I'd say equal roles. Would you? Yeah. Because I've got best friends, like my best friends from school, you don't see every day, and then you've got your best friends. From now, you're with every day and call a million times a day. But that doesn't, oops. That doesn't kind of diminish what you've had all those years and grown up with and I don't know. I'd have joint. Would you? See, I always think the good get out of jail card is a sibling as a maid of honour. Get you out a bit of beef. Do you think? That's a good, that is a good get out of jail. Because you don't compete with a blood. No, because like my sister is one of my best friends.

24:09Yeah. But I know she's got like a handful of best friends. So by picking me, she's not getting into any drama with those. And it's like, oh, I have to pick my sister. Although she would pick me anyway. Yeah, yeah. But I think that's a top tip. That is a great tip. I wonder if this person has a sibling maybe consider that I'll just have to join vibe I do join your best man vibe was that old school mate or was that recent old school mate my mate Greg's been my mate for six, seven years old really? eight years old seven yeah there's probably five of us where we've been mates for a long long time so is Greg your favourite out of all of them?

24:48no I just think I probably spend the most time with him but no Aidan Robb as well like the same yeah we're all the same really I could have picked any of them but yeah it was Greg it was Greg was the lucky man right I'll tell you what I've been summoned to the actual doctors here believe it or not so I will be back stronger next week I won't be Barry White I'll be Barry Shite I'll be Barry Shite bye ask me anything sure bye

25:23This episode is sponsored by Aerie. If you know me, you know that my philosophy is all about looking good and feeling good every single day. And that honestly comes down to the first layer. I'm talking about bras. If your bra is digging into your shoulder or maybe it's riding up in the back or you are dying to take it off at the end of the day, then that bra is not the right fit. And what I love about Aerie is that they have 59 different sizes in really soft fabrics and really good fits. Because at the end of the day, your bra should hold you in and not hold you back. Visit Aerie.com to find the right bra and your perfect fit.

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