Mother’s Day Special! Abbey’s Mum Joins the Pod, Pete’s Gift Fail and Mother’s Day Confessions

0:02Karen Clancy: Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

0:30Abbey Clancy: I get a comprehensive look at everything that's coming out and spend my time curating the best books so you don't have to. Stay in the know, get insider insights, and connect with guests like Grammy award-winning singer Alicia Keys, critically acclaimed author Judy Blume, and Academy award-winning screenwriter John Irving every single day. With Totally Booked, you aren't just listening, you're part of the story. So don't miss out. Follow Totally Booked with Sibby on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening now.

1:05Karen Clancy: Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.

1:14Abbey Clancy: My hole's closed up. I need to get my mom on.

1:16Peter Crouch: You're damn right. Proceed.

1:19Abbey Clancy: Oh, God. Today we've got my mom on, seeing as it's a Mother's Day episode.

1:23Peter Crouch: Your mom's first job.

1:24Abbey Clancy: Stripper.

1:26Peter Crouch: Is that Abigail?

1:28Abbey Clancy: Look how disgusting I am. The size of my ears.

1:31Peter Crouch: My mother-in-law has a bit of a thing for me. Oh, she's similar for us.

1:36Abbey Clancy: Slow down, girl.

1:37Peter Crouch: Hands off. Take your cougar hands elsewhere. Yeah. Give your mum the gift of therapy for Mother's Day. Hit subscribe. You could send your mum your favourite episode of the Therapy Crouch. One amazing gift for them.

1:51Abbey Clancy: Well, I think so. if you really love someone what better gift than the gift of laughter the gift of joy

1:57Peter Crouch: get your mother to subscribe it's the best present she'll ever have exactly

2:04Abbey Clancy: hello and welcome to the therapy crouch are you alright there?

2:08Peter Crouch: yeah yeah I just stand itch ear which I have got at the moment yeah and itch ear

2:13Abbey Clancy: I had earache yesterday itch ear I think it's a bug

2:16Peter Crouch: it's hay fever is it? is it? itch ears do you do that? No, but you do, don't you?

2:24Abbey Clancy: I always do that. I love doing that. Why do you like doing that? You itch your throat.

2:29Peter Crouch: Is that what you do with that? You like itch the inside of your ear with your roof of your mouth.

2:34Abbey Clancy: I love that feeling.

2:36Peter Crouch: I can't do it.

2:37Abbey Clancy: Some people can't. You can't, can you?

2:39Peter Crouch: Do what?

2:43Peter Crouch: It's not a great audio experience, that, is it?

2:46Abbey Clancy: No, it's not. We're still Rossman down. We've still got Arjan, the OG who got sacked for being dull on the mic dull on the mic I'm joking cheers I'm joking you're too busy now aren't you baby

3:00Peter Crouch: I'm too busy for this shit too busy too busy he's gone big time hasn't he I'm gone big time now

3:05Abbey Clancy: gone big time

3:06Peter Crouch: gone big time we've lost him

3:08Abbey Clancy: we've lost him so how's your do you know

3:10Peter Crouch: I heard someone Ricky Gervais talking about going big time the other day you know it tickled me so much he was talking about you know when people come up to you and go they'll say something like Like, I haven't got anything to sign or something like that. Or can you come with me? He said, can you come with me? I'm just going to go and get my phone. And he said, I don't know you. Like, people think that you've gone big time because you're not going to do it. So what he was saying was, he said, there's a book shop there. He said, will you come with me just to get your book and I'll get you to sign that.

3:41Peter Crouch: And he said, no, it's the last thing I want to do. Walk to the bookshop with them to buy your book. with the guy to buy the book so he could sign it. You say yeah. But the guy was saying, he almost looked at me like, oh yeah, he's lost it now. He's gone big time. He's too big. And he said, no, no, I didn't walk to bookshops with strangers when I wasn't famous. I was like, that's so true, isn't it?

4:06Abbey Clancy: You always get that one where we'll just be in a restaurant and someone will come over with a phone and go, can you just say happy birthday to my auntie Janet? She loves you, you're a big fan. Then Pete's on FaceTime to someone who doesn't know.

4:17Peter Crouch: that must be hard it's a bit it's a bit mad but you know what it's kind of but to be honest most people are like in a good mood it's always been nice yeah it's always nice but it's just the way he explains it it was so funny like why would I walk to this bookshop I would make a strange

4:34Abbey Clancy: so funny I've had a cringe moment where someone's asked me for a photo and I've said you hadn't stood there and they meant take a picture of them have you ever had that you have had that

4:43Peter Crouch: I've had that because you said

4:44Abbey Clancy: someone mugged you off doing it

4:46Peter Crouch: some people think they're finally doing that one like we can they have a picture and they're like yeah and then they go like of me and my mate you go the best one I have had was when I was playing golf in Portugal and it was with Alan Shearer and Ashley Cole and me someone came up I said I can't believe it he said England's greatest left back England's greatest centre forward and Peter Crouch he said I can't believe it it made my day and I was like do you know what you've mugged me off there but I was it was brilliant

5:19Abbey Clancy: but you're known as Peter Crouch

5:21Peter Crouch: some of these people are like household names I thought he was going to say something nice about me as well and he just didn't

5:26Abbey Clancy: but some people you're known but you're more known for being Peter Crouch than being the best great left back or whatever but some people are just famous for being the best left back

5:38Peter Crouch: well yeah we're like

5:39Abbey Clancy: not famous it was very funny

5:40Peter Crouch: that I thought

5:41Abbey Clancy: it is funny

5:42Peter Crouch: England's greatest left back England's greatest centre forward and Peter Crouch

5:45Abbey Clancy: you've got more girls than Alan haven't you

5:47Peter Crouch: Not quite.

5:49Abbey Clancy: I thought you did.

5:50Peter Crouch: Just behind him, babe, unfortunately.

5:52Abbey Clancy: Because didn't he text you when you got 100 and said something like, oh, well, I've got 101 or something like that?

5:57Peter Crouch: I think I broke the headed goals record.

6:00Abbey Clancy: Oh, the headed?

6:00Peter Crouch: Headed goals, yeah. Unfortunately, I think he's around 150 in front of me in the Premier League.

6:05Abbey Clancy: 150 goals, Mark?

6:07Peter Crouch: Around that. Really? Well, he scored 260.

6:12Abbey Clancy: Wow.

6:13Peter Crouch: And there's no one else.

6:13Abbey Clancy: It was a different game then.

6:15Peter Crouch: It was much easier then. So easy. Yeah, no, I agree. Supportive wife. I agree. I love my wife. She's always got my back, haven't you, babe?

6:22Abbey Clancy: Alan Shearer wasn't overly pleased when I told him he looked like my dad, do you remember, in the restaurant?

6:27Peter Crouch: Did you?

6:27Abbey Clancy: He said, do you remind me of my dad? And he went nuts.

6:29Peter Crouch: I did.

6:31Abbey Clancy: I was like, you haven't seen me. My dad is actually better looking than you. I was giving you a compliment, Alan. Shut your mouth.

6:40Abbey Clancy: All right. Any weekly wines to me, my darling?

6:43Peter Crouch: Yeah, there's a couple, actually.

6:45Abbey Clancy: Sorry.

6:46Peter Crouch: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like you're glued to your phone even more than the normal recently. And it just culminated in sitting in bed last night, listening to a lurcher scream.

6:58Abbey Clancy: Stephen, the singing lurcher. Have you seen this, Doug, John?

7:02Peter Crouch: No. She's showing me every single video of a lurcher singing. Look at this. I don't want to hear it. I'm trying to watch something on telly.

7:09Abbey Clancy: He's huge and he's white and he stands on the back of the couch and his mum's like, Stephen.

7:14Peter Crouch: I thought you were describing Peter then

7:16Abbey Clancy: Yeah exactly

7:17Peter Crouch: I do look like a lurcher

7:18Abbey Clancy: She's like Just lurch Having a good day

7:29Karen Clancy: You just had a ton of food Stephen

7:32Peter Crouch: I believe his name's Stephen Stephen What's the other one called? Like Jimmy or something

7:37Abbey Clancy: Kevin or something Michael or something

7:39Peter Crouch: I love it when people call the dogs like human names I know We've got one Geoffrey

7:47Peter Crouch: He's definitely trying to talk, isn't he?

7:49Abbey Clancy: I love Stephen.

7:51Peter Crouch: I should get him on. I think Stephen's class, to be fair. We are fans of Stephen. So I was Googling bloody lurcher puppies last night.

8:00Abbey Clancy: I love lurchers. I do. They're gorgeous. They bite though. Do they? I saw this puppy in the local town where we live, and it was a collie puppy, and it had green eyes but where Collie's a black this was grey and white and he was that big a male and he was training to be in the police wow and then all of a sudden it came up on my algorithm this exact dog was useless so couldn't make the police useless yeah described him as useless who described him as that no he said he didn't make it in because he was just useless at his job because he was just too friendly oh And there's this charity, it's called Battersea Canine, and they rehome dogs to wonderful families, dogs of that type, so dogs who have failed the police.

8:52Abbey Clancy: So I messaged and I was like, please, please, can I have this dog? Police, please.

8:57Peter Crouch: Please, please. You're under arrest.

9:01Abbey Clancy: Put him up. But it was like, we've got 2 ,000 or 10 ,000 applicants for this pup. But I was like, I've met him. it's fate and I don't even follow you I didn't even know about your charity and you've come up on my algorithm like I need this dog but the guy was great he does a great job but they didn't let me have him because they said you know we've seen prospective families and we've got one and it's unfair so done the right thing he did the right thing and you do have about six dogs already I know but you should have never seen nothing like him he was gorgeous I've given up with that now his name was X because you're not allowed to name them they're going in the police but you just want to cuddle so he's been rehomed to his lovely new home but I thought that what a great charity boss it's not related to Battersea Dogs Home then he was a lovely guy and I just said to him look if you ever need any help or any homes for dogs I'm your gal I'm your gal

9:54Peter Crouch: Jesus Christ

9:55Abbey Clancy: so but you say I was wrong for looking at the lurcher but you were you were in a lurcher hole with me

10:02Peter Crouch: my problem is the timing of when you start looking at your phone you know like you'll do it in bed like when we're trying to relax because while you're watching someone get murdered on TV

10:12Abbey Clancy: running through a forest I don't want to watch that before bed

10:16Peter Crouch: The Beast in Me have you watched it yet?

10:18Abbey Clancy: oh it's amazing it is amazing get involved

10:20Peter Crouch: it's good I'm watching Bridgerton at the moment oh my god we've lost him haven't we Bridgerton is he joking?

10:29Abbey Clancy: I turned you off this time Bridgerton

10:30Peter Crouch: the first season's a bit cheap the first series of Bridgerton's good isn't it? I thought that was alright

10:35Abbey Clancy: I think the first one was good, but I...

10:37Peter Crouch: Oh, sorry, the first one was good, the second one was a bit shit.

10:39Abbey Clancy: I watched a couple of episodes of this one and it wasn't for me. I thought it's getting a bit too risque as well.

10:45Peter Crouch: It's getting a bit raunchy, yeah.

10:46Abbey Clancy: I don't want to see that.

10:47Peter Crouch: Yeah, you do.

10:48Abbey Clancy: No, not from them.

10:49Peter Crouch: Not from them?

10:50Abbey Clancy: No. Why not? I don't know. They're not my type, clearly.

10:59Peter Crouch: Oh, my God.

11:00Abbey Clancy: What else have I started? We started watching that love story. you know John F.K. Jr oh yeah and Carolyn so good yeah the style style it was phenomenal like just that classic it's well done isn't it yeah yeah but he's born a sin as well

11:18Peter Crouch: they're not all like me babe

11:19Abbey Clancy: I know I was like you might have the looks honey but you've got zero banter you're out like it's just a no agreed just a no like if I want to you want to look at something nice you just get like a nice picture of someone in your house. You know, you need interaction.

11:36Peter Crouch: You need more than that.

11:38Abbey Clancy: You need more than looks, telling you.

11:40Peter Crouch: Thank God for that.

11:40Abbey Clancy: Thank God for that. I didn't have a weekly wine for you.

11:42Peter Crouch: Did you not?

11:43Abbey Clancy: No.

11:44Peter Crouch: Something like you. I'm sure you're... Come on, have a think. Have a think. Have a think. Have a think.

11:51Abbey Clancy: The only one thing I had

11:53Peter Crouch: was this morning

11:55Abbey Clancy: when I was saying, oh, we've got my mum on today because it's Mother's Day and you're like, when? I didn't know. Yeah. And then it got me thinking about my very first Mother's Day when I had Sophia and Pete didn't get me a card or flowers and his excuse was, you're not my mum.

12:10Peter Crouch: I didn't really, no. I don't think.

12:12Abbey Clancy: And I was like.

12:14Peter Crouch: It wasn't that, I didn't really say that. You did.

12:17Abbey Clancy: Quote.

12:19Peter Crouch: I think when you're a new father, I think that's a new day, isn't it for you? A new skill to learn. Yeah, because I was just thinking, that's my, I've got to look after my mum. That's what I have my whole life. for that day. Yeah. I didn't realise that you were now involved in that. There's quite a lot of that going on in this episode plan. Yeah, I didn't realise that. Obviously, I know now, you know, we've had four kids.

12:41Abbey Clancy: What would you do if I didn't get you anything for Father's Day? You'd be gutted?

12:45Peter Crouch: No, but if you were doing stuff for your dad, that's what I'd expect. But obviously now I know better, I've matured. But then I was just like, you know, I thought, you know, I've got to look after my mum. I didn't realise that you were now part of that I didn't realise you were gigging into that have you got any audience wines for me darling? I certainly have my princess and these are Mother's Day themed wines

13:14Abbey Clancy: I can't wait for my present

13:17Peter Crouch: I genuinely had no idea

13:19Abbey Clancy: oh yeah I didn't even say my fucking wine

13:20Peter Crouch: he didn't have no clue

13:22Abbey Clancy: he had no clue that it was Mother's Day it's like one day a year I have to be appreciated one day

13:31Peter Crouch: what date is Mother's Day?

13:33Abbey Clancy: well 15th of March the day after our daughter's birthday did you forget that too?

13:37Peter Crouch: no no I knew that because that's ingrained

13:40Abbey Clancy: so you're not going to believe this actually I've got another weekly wine

13:44Peter Crouch: I knew she was

13:45Abbey Clancy: so Pete was like

13:46Peter Crouch: I was like Pete

13:47Abbey Clancy: we need to sort Sophia's birthday so Sophia wants to they want to go and get the seconds done so they're getting this the second ear piercing.

13:55Peter Crouch: Did you just say they're going to go and get their seconds done?

13:58Abbey Clancy: The seconds. Well, that's what they say. So I've just copied.

14:01Peter Crouch: Wow. Is that just going to get me seconds?

14:04Abbey Clancy: That's what they say. So I'm just down with the kids. So we're going to get our seconds done. Then my hole's closed up. I need to get my knee done.

14:13Peter Crouch: You're damn right.

14:18Peter Crouch: Proceed.

14:18Abbey Clancy: Oh God. And then we're going for lunch and then we're going to stay in a hotel and then we're going to get some spa treatments and have like a girly sleepover. So people say, don't worry, I'll sort it out. And then just puts on our PA group with Claire, who basically runs our life. Claire, do you mind everything I've just said, booking this? People say, don't worry, babe. It's all in hand. I've got it. Gets off the phone to you. Then just the incoming text to Claire. Claire, can you book this? Can you do that? Can you do that? I'm like.

14:50Peter Crouch: Yeah.

14:51Abbey Clancy: So you didn't do anything?

14:53Peter Crouch: I did. I could have text Claire myself. Yeah, but I think it's better if I do it.

14:59Abbey Clancy: Why?

15:00Peter Crouch: Because you asked me to. It's all pretty spot on, really.

15:06Abbey Clancy: You get away with murder, do you? I don't get away with murder. You're absolutely useless. You wouldn't make the police.

15:10Peter Crouch: I just, I didn't need to, I didn't know when Mother's Day was. I just genuinely didn't, I don't think there's been a lot of advertising around it. I haven't seen it anywhere.

15:23Abbey Clancy: We're doing a whole pod on it today. Yeah, I know.

15:25Peter Crouch: Well, this is the day, obviously, that I've realised that it's happening. So I need to pull my finger out.

15:29Abbey Clancy: Well, you've got time. So pull your finger out and get yourself down to Harrods.

15:31Peter Crouch: Yeah, I don't like this pressure. No, this pressure, like...

15:35Abbey Clancy: What do you mean, pressure?

15:37Peter Crouch: This pressure, like, for me to do something.

15:39Abbey Clancy: Sorry, I'm not going to take that because you're the third man to say that to me.

15:46Peter Crouch: Well, maybe you should take... No, then?

15:48Abbey Clancy: It's a decoy that a man does if you ask them to do something and it's something they don't want to do. They say, you're putting me under pressure when in fact it's because they know they're wrong.

16:03Peter Crouch: I'd like to be you.

16:04Abbey Clancy: They know they're wrong.

16:05Peter Crouch: I'd like to be you, right? And you know on Father's Day, whatever gifts you get me, I'm going to give you a big hug and a big kiss and be happy. I'd love that.

16:15Abbey Clancy: Normally Father's Day you play golf.

16:17Peter Crouch: I would love that. scenario because you said that's my birthday you got you're stress free the problem is you put me under so much pressure like for these days to be special the restaurant needs to be perfect everything needs to be perfect if one thing goes wrong i'm getting getting it it's not right are you it's not right a laugh it's not right you should be you should be relaxed about it like

16:42Abbey Clancy: father's day you know are you gonna buy me a blossom tree you might get me that tree was a

16:46Peter Crouch: lovely idea and if you notice now you're sending me indoor trees and you're saying look these are so nice look at this i'm like i was so far ahead of that curve

16:58Peter Crouch: indoor trees are like everywhere now there's one right behind you look at this now look look at this well that doesn't look like it's come from some fucking

17:08Abbey Clancy: christening does it a new baby girl's christening like what you got me i'm so Or the food section of Selfridges, would you say where you bought it from?

17:19Peter Crouch: The cake section.

17:20Abbey Clancy: It's nutty. Anyway.

17:22Peter Crouch: The man was, I just said to the fella, that is such a beautiful tree. Said my wife would love that.

17:29Abbey Clancy: You're painting me out to be a monster. You're not a monster, I love you. It's not right.

17:33Peter Crouch: It's not right.

17:35Abbey Clancy: God forbid I'd want to be honoured for one day of the year.

17:39Peter Crouch: Fucking hell, you're joking. Along with Valentine's Day, Christmas Day. Mother's Day Birthday Any more days you want?

17:47Abbey Clancy: Go on, give me some audience wines Okay

17:49Peter Crouch: Peter and Abby Mother's Day's around the corner I know this might sound like I'm the worst mum ever but I actually hate Mother's Day The kids wake up really early they destroy the kitchen they make me a horrible breakfast I have to force it down and pretend that I like it I know how ungrateful it sounds I should really be happy but I'm the only I'm the one who has to clean up all the mess and eat the disgusting food and pretend that I love the flowers that my husband just brought last minute from Sainsbury's. Is this me, just me, or can you relate? Well, you're always well looked after. Your flowers are top level.

18:21Peter Crouch: Yeah, because I order them by myself.

18:23Abbey Clancy: I call Najee up and go, Najee, what's he ordered this time? Can I change them to...

18:29Peter Crouch: Do you? Don't change them. You don't change my order. I do.

18:33Abbey Clancy: You wouldn't even know. You wouldn't even know because you wouldn't remember what you ordered anyway.

18:39Peter Crouch: That's outrageous. That's outrageous. You can't change my order. You can't change the flower order. That is so bad.

18:45Abbey Clancy: I can and I do.

18:46Peter Crouch: Do you really? You actually do that.

18:48Abbey Clancy: Yeah.

18:49Peter Crouch: Is that bad? How many times have you done that?

18:51Abbey Clancy: Is that bad? Every year.

18:52Peter Crouch: Every year. Is that bad? You go to the same golf shop for my present every single year. Yeah. Every year. So I'm going to start changing those orders as well.

19:03Abbey Clancy: No, because you couldn't change it because yours are perfect.

19:06Peter Crouch: Are they big? Fine, yeah, they're great. So the flowers that I get.

19:11Abbey Clancy: because I just have to double check you haven't got me a lemon rose

19:14Peter Crouch: would I get you a lemon rose I know you like white the flowers I get are top level

19:19Abbey Clancy: they are now now Nadji's been briefed

19:27Abbey Clancy: this is turning into a bit of a high maintenance episode let's move on it's not fair

19:33Karen Clancy: can anybody relate with this woman

19:35Abbey Clancy: I can relate the kids do make a mess my kids often make me like a victorious sponge because it's my favorite but tastes like a scone instead of like that moist fluffy sponge um but i love it i think the kids cannot do any wrong you know i love getting my cards and it's all the whole stay in bed and they bring it up to bed you know i i love it so i don't mind the mess it's cute isn't it i think yeah and soon they're not even going to get up because they'll be teenagers and then we'll be crying.

20:08Peter Crouch: And I do think, like, because you do so much for us, it is nice, like, that day for us to make a fuss with you. I am joking with.

20:16Abbey Clancy: Where are we going? What have you booked with?

20:18Peter Crouch: I have no idea at the moment. Like, genuinely, I have no idea. I've only just realised it's my birthday. But you will feel special. Thank you. I promise.

20:25Abbey Clancy: It doesn't have to be an expensive gift. It's just

20:29Peter Crouch: a gesture of love. You do so much for all of us. I do mean it. You do need, you do need some love on that day. Thank you. Okay, am I the only one who thinks it's absolutely disgusting when people put cups away face down in the cupboard? It's so unhygienic. My boyfriend always does this when he washes up. I don't want to have a go at him because at least he's actually... What, upside down? Yeah. Oh God, he's putting the cups upside down. Can't, no, I'd leave him. Leave him for that.

21:01Abbey Clancy: What a freak. and if you have to hand wash something I'd put it on the side upside down like a glass

21:08Peter Crouch: yeah they'd dry out

21:09Abbey Clancy: yeah because I don't like it when people dry things with a tea towel no because that tea towel's like cleaned up some spaghetti hoops or something I know what you're saying and then you're cleaning like a clean glass with a tea towel that someone's dried their hands on

21:24Peter Crouch: I think a tea towel doesn't get washed often enough

21:27Abbey Clancy: well ours do but in my opinion We don't know where that tea towel's been.

21:32Peter Crouch: I think there are people who are lazy, just grab a tea towel for anything.

21:35Abbey Clancy: Yeah.

21:36Peter Crouch: Do you know what I mean? Dogs thrown up on the floor, just grab a tea towel.

21:38Abbey Clancy: Oh, no.

21:40Peter Crouch: You never know, is what I'm saying.

21:41Abbey Clancy: You've definitely done that then, haven't you? I've never done that.

21:43Peter Crouch: I've never done that.

21:43Abbey Clancy: Yeah, ease a serial killer, leave him.

21:46Peter Crouch: Fact. Hi, Abby, here's my Mother's Day wine. My husband doesn't help my kids with Mother's Day. They are 13 and 15, he leaves it all to them. When I complain to him, he says, she's not my mum. He says it in a jokey way.

22:01Abbey Clancy: what a twat

22:01Peter Crouch: he sounds great like you should be taking us out for a nice roast or something and say it's from the kids 13 and 15 they have to start standing on their own two feet I think but I do think it's a nice time to come together with the family as well so like I think you could book a nice meal or even make lunch or something but the presents and stuff yeah 13 and 15 they're on their own

22:26Abbey Clancy: I agree I agree I think he should help them out booking like it's nice to take their mum out for a lunch on Mother's Day. But they can sort their own presents and cards out. For sure.

22:38Peter Crouch: Agreed.

22:39Abbey Clancy: Should we get our special guest on then, Pedro?

22:41Peter Crouch: I'd love to.

22:42Abbey Clancy: So today we've got my mum on, seeing as though it's a Mother's Day episode. So yeah, let's get her on. So this seems like a great place to pause and hear from our sponsors. And if you're enjoying the pod, please hit that subscribe button now, because it really, really helps us.

23:02Karen Clancy: Imagine waking up to breathtaking landscapes, vibrant culture, and a welcoming community. New Zealand is calling. If you are a passionate early childhood, primary, or secondary school teacher, New Zealand says, come teach us. With up to$10 ,000 New Zealand dollars in relocation support, now is the time to make your move. Find out more about moving to New Zealand to teach at workforce.education.govt.nz. Open to existing qualified primary, secondary and ECE teachers. Note that this grant is only dispersed after a teacher has arrived in New Zealand and meets the other accompanying criteria.

23:38Abbey Clancy: So, Mum, welcome to the therapy crouch. Thank you. It's a long time since we've had her on the couch.

23:44Peter Crouch: Yeah.

23:44Abbey Clancy: She was one of our first guests when we were struggling for celebs.

23:48Peter Crouch: When we were guestless.

23:49Abbey Clancy: When we were guestless.

23:50Peter Crouch: How are you, Karen? Are you looking forward to Mother's Day?

23:52Abbey Clancy: Yes.

23:53Peter Crouch: Do you get spoiled on Mother's Day? Have you been good at two over the years?

23:57Karen Clancy: yes it's different now it's nicer when you've got all your own children and they're all there I'm in a little bit of a different boat now where mine have gone and you know like Abby you and Abby you've got your own family so you celebrate it in your house which is grace

24:15Abbey Clancy: we celebrate Mother's Day every year together yeah

24:17Karen Clancy: I know but it's I've got no one to come up and make my breakfast what about Dave? yeah

24:26Peter Crouch: Did you guys do a shoot together yesterday? Yes. How was it?

24:30Abbey Clancy: It was lovely. I always liked doing the mum and daughter shoots, although my mum did look 10 times better than me. Oh, that's it.

24:38Peter Crouch: You did. Both stunners.

24:39Abbey Clancy: Thank you. No, but it was nice and it was obviously... It was lovely. ...hair care, so it's, you know, my mum's obviously been a hairdresser her whole life, so that was, you know, it was nice to do something in that kind of category. And I had my makeup done. by the fabulous Cassie. Still got some eyelashes on from yesterday.

24:59Peter Crouch: I tried to keep mine on, but I forgot

25:01Abbey Clancy: when I got in the shower. I was like scrubbed mine.

25:04Peter Crouch: Isn't it nice having like, obviously I know it's a shoot and you're working, whatever, but isn't it nice to have photos of you of beautiful, nice ones together, you know, professionally done? That must be nice. You can always look back on them when you're a little bit older and stuff.

25:17Karen Clancy: Yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing them. Because you don't really get to see what photographs they're taking because you're, you know, the other side of the screen, but I'm looking forward to seeing them. I can't wait.

25:29Peter Crouch: Well, since it's Mother's Day, I'm going to ask you embarrassing questions about Abigail. What was she like? What was the birth like, number one? Oh, God.

25:38Karen Clancy: The birth?

25:39Peter Crouch: Yeah. You're going way back? You're going way back to the start. Probably can't remember.

25:42Karen Clancy: It's 40 years ago. I'm going to go with the pregnancy. I couldn't even stand up.

25:46Peter Crouch: Oh, really?

25:47Karen Clancy: Yeah, it was awful. I put three stone on, which is fine.

25:51Peter Crouch: Yeah. That's fine.

25:53Karen Clancy: and I was addicted to like curry and chips. And I was 12 o 'clock.

25:58Peter Crouch: You like a curry and chips?

25:59Karen Clancy: I love a curry chip. Oh my God. So was I when I,

26:03Abbey Clancy: do you remember? You were in the car with me with Heidi. Yeah. When I was pregnant. I was waiting for the chippy to open at 12 o 'clock. Same. We were late to pick the kids up from school and I called the school. I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm coming back from work in London and I'm stuck in terrible traffic. We sat outside the chippy. It was opening at 4 p.m. so we could get a curry chip bomb and I left the kids in school.

26:24Peter Crouch: So you left the kids in school and had a chips and curry? Curry chip,

26:27Abbey Clancy: because I was, I was just like, it was like goblin pie territory.

26:32Peter Crouch: Is that a real craving then? Have you had a real craving of chips and curry?

26:37Abbey Clancy: Yeah.

26:38Peter Crouch: Really?

26:38Abbey Clancy: I just couldn't wait every day for the chippy to open.

26:42Peter Crouch: Should we all stop this and just have a chips and curry?

26:44Abbey Clancy: Absolutely, yeah. That was like my dad when that show was out. Adolescence? Adolescence And my dad was like You can tell this is a load of shit The chippies don't Chippies aren't open at that time No When he got in the car When he got in the car With the kid He said I believed it Until he went to the chippy At three o 'clock He don't open till four

27:07Peter Crouch: Amazing What was Abby like Growing up Karen An angel

27:16Karen Clancy: Ish She's kind of Was like she is now.

27:22Peter Crouch: A pen in the arse. Yeah.

27:27Peter Crouch: But a lovely one.

27:28Karen Clancy: Yeah.

27:29Peter Crouch: Yeah.

27:30Karen Clancy: All that. She knows what she wants. She goes for it. She was exciting as a child. She used to do everything. If there was any kind of play on in the school, she'd be the main one in it. And that's how it went. She was always ambitious, always did things. And it was grace.

27:53Peter Crouch: Were you really proud when she was like singing and dancing? She is very good at that.

27:59Karen Clancy: Obviously, she was always the best, my daughter. You're not at all biased, Mum? No.

28:04Peter Crouch: You were, though, because I speak to everyone, really, like around your family and they were all like, she was unreal. It was the truth. How good you were at singing and stuff.

28:13Karen Clancy: It was the truth.

28:14Peter Crouch: Yeah, and then obviously your firstborn daughter becomes a mother of yourself. What's that kind of scenario like, the Mother's Day, when you've got your grandchildren?

28:24Karen Clancy: Well, it was fantastic because, you know, no babies for a long time. And then we get our beautiful Sophia. It was fantastic. And everyone, the whole family was fussing over Sophia. I used to take her with me and look after her. I'd be like, you have a rest, I'll have Sophia. And then my sister used to come and take her off me. Everyone was fighting for her. But you're all in the same house because I wouldn't let her out of my sight. Yeah. Because you can't trust anyone with your baby other than your mum. It was different then. It wasn't, it was different then. You know, children were playing out in the street and it was a total different scenario.

29:04Karen Clancy: And when Sophia was born, oh my God, she was like Princess Sophia of Kirby.

29:11Peter Crouch: I know. It's got a little bit busier now.

29:14Karen Clancy: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it was fantastic. And it brings the family together, doesn't it? A new baby. I can't believe I had four kids like you, Mum. My God. No. Do you know what happens? Neither do I.

29:28Abbey Clancy: I'd actually like more, but I'm too old now. It's such a shame.

29:32Peter Crouch: I just don't understand that. It's such a shame. I'd like more. What is that all about?

29:36Karen Clancy: It's the best times of your life, but you don't realise at the time because it's hard work. Chrissie, Chrissie. Trying to be in ten places at once. And that's all you're doing. It's even harder when you're like scooting around everywhere. Yeah.

29:50Abbey Clancy: I'm literally a taxi driver now.

29:51Karen Clancy: Well, that's everyone's story.

29:53Abbey Clancy: But Chrissie minded a cousin's baby the other day. She said she couldn't believe how hard it was just having a newborn baby.

30:01Peter Crouch: Really?

30:02Abbey Clancy: The baby's about four months old, I think. And she said it was like, feed him, change him, nap, awake, feed him, change him, nap.

30:11Karen Clancy: Your whole day, your whole day just evolves on the baby. And you can't do anything? No, you can't do nothing.

30:16Peter Crouch: You can't get anything.

30:17Karen Clancy: You actually couldn't wait for them to go to sleep so you can go and get a shower.

30:20Peter Crouch: Yeah. When they say that you should go to sleep when they go to sleep. But I can't sleep in the day.

30:26Karen Clancy: No, I can't. And then you've got stuff to do. You've got too much to do. You've got washing, organising, you've got to pick the kids up from school. You know, you've got dinner in for the night. So you can't wait for them to go to sleep so you can just go like a maniac and crack on with all your jobs. I miss having a newborn.

30:44Peter Crouch: Listen, I think it's beautiful to experience it. We've experienced it four times, you know, and that was great.

30:51Abbey Clancy: It's a bit annoying that you get to decide that then.

30:53Peter Crouch: I'm not deciding, babe. You are. I was comfortable with one child. I gave you four beautiful ones.

31:01Karen Clancy: Yes.

31:02Peter Crouch: I can't do anymore. You can.

31:05Karen Clancy: You could easily do it. I'm retired.

31:07Peter Crouch: I'm retired. Sorry. What was Mother's Day like growing up for you, babe? Do you remember Mother's Days? Yeah. Did you spend it with all the family?

31:16Abbey Clancy: Yeah, it was always a family occasion. We'd always make cards and make cakes and get a bunch of flowers. You know, just the typical nice, wholesome stuff.

31:26Karen Clancy: And you liked to organise all that. That was right up your street, wasn't it? Yeah. Organising that, you know, making everything done for me. You stay in bed. We're making your breakfast.

31:36Peter Crouch: can I ask you about Geoff's role in Mother's Day and was he was he hands on

31:42Karen Clancy: you're not my mother

31:44Peter Crouch: yeah I imagine that I wonder if he thinks the game's gone at the moment

31:50Abbey Clancy: what game what game no I just think

31:54Peter Crouch: I just think probably the husband's back in those days I don't know if they made a big deal of Mother's Day like it is now I think it's I think Mother's Day's probably evolved

32:02Abbey Clancy: I doubt me dad even got his own mum something to be honest and I love my dad dearly he's incredible but I don't I don't think he was a Mother's Day Valentine's Day kind of guy

32:12Peter Crouch: I think all the days of they feel like they've progressed a lot over the course of time

32:19Abbey Clancy: well it's all for the gram isn't it now

32:20Peter Crouch: it does feel that way a bit doesn't it I mean were they celebrated a lot kind of say before Ab was born like when Ab was born when Ab was a baby was it celebrated were you celebrated absolutely yeah yeah

32:31Abbey Clancy: well you'd normally be going out with your aunties and your nan But things are bigger now, aren't they? In Liverpool, a lot of the girls go out together on a girly day for Mother's Day. They'll all get all dollied up and go with the aunties and the nans and girl cousins and all go for like a girly lunch, which I think is nice.

32:49Peter Crouch: I think that's nice.

32:50Abbey Clancy: And then you've got your get out of jail card to go to play golf.

32:56Peter Crouch: But we've got a little surprise for you here, ladies. Some little pics. Is that Abigail? girl yes look at that do you have a little look through so my my dad's sister my auntie kai kai

33:10Abbey Clancy: she actually painted this yeah and i've got the painting this was like a famous picture in our family wasn't it like yeah look how beautiful the the firstborn is but i look like johnny vaughan

33:23Karen Clancy: the outfit is the outfit she looked beautiful why have i got a mohican look like liberty No, me mum used to do that. Yeah, it's called a coxcomb. A coxcomb? Mum used to just comb it round her finger like that and have a curl all the way down. So it's like a wrinklet all the way down.

33:39Peter Crouch: Really? Yeah. So it's basically my...

33:41Abbey Clancy: Oh, Sam, here's me getting my perm. Talking about you getting your perm. This is when I was two and I didn't quite meet standards

33:47Karen Clancy: and I had the world shit as hair. Yeah, well, it was more like that. So I thought I'd try and thicken it up, being a hairdresser and give it a bit of body on the top. So I decided to perm it. I'm such an ugly baby. Oh, you wasn't. You're beautiful. Look how disgusting I am. The size of my ears.

34:02Peter Crouch: That is just our liberty, I think.

34:04Karen Clancy: Yes. Oh, my God.

34:06Peter Crouch: Does liberty look like that if you think our little baby? Double, double. I just think she's so much like her.

34:11Karen Clancy: Look at Ronnie Corbett.

34:13Peter Crouch: Oh, I think you look lovely there. Oh, goodness.

34:15Abbey Clancy: Les Dawson.

34:17Peter Crouch: Les Dawson.

34:19Abbey Clancy: For this one, I've got a hair and a high pony with a big scrunchie and a fringe that comes from the back of my head.

34:26Peter Crouch: Beautiful.

34:27Abbey Clancy: Oh, my God. this one looks like Sophia that's it

34:31Peter Crouch: yeah

34:31Abbey Clancy: yes me in the car

34:33Karen Clancy: you look like a bit of a mixture

34:35Peter Crouch: of how old would you be there

34:36Karen Clancy: well I took that photograph I used to photograph her all the time because I thought she was so beautiful in the car in the house I'd be doing photo shoots all the time because I'd no even of a day I'd be come on sit on there go over here because I thought they were gorgeous

34:54Abbey Clancy: that one she is beautiful this is my sun shimmer sunbed phase where I used to go on the sunbed every day, don't do it kids, after school and put sun shimmer, which is like a Rimmel instant fake tan all over me. There's our Ross there, look.

35:11Peter Crouch: We can show Ross in that picture.

35:14Abbey Clancy: There's Ross there, and he was a baby. Oh, I love this picture. Here's me getting my face painted.

35:25Abbey Clancy: God, I remember this horse. Yeah. This is the girl who used to work in the pub's horse. Yeah. He was called Charlie, that horse. That was the first horse I'd ever sat on. It was huge. That looks a little bit like a cross between a Suffolk punch, that. What? Such a breeder horse. And then here's me with my mum, my little knitted, handmade knitted beret on.

35:49Peter Crouch: God, you look beautiful, Karen.

35:50Abbey Clancy: I don't know if it's me mum made that or...

35:53Karen Clancy: Me nanny Hazel used to make a lot of the knitting, didn't she? Yeah, me mum. I think it's a bit of a competition. and my mum and Geoff's mum used to be knitting all cardigans and hats all the time.

36:02Peter Crouch: Oh. That's gone out a bit now, hasn't it? Knitting.

36:06Karen Clancy: Yeah, I used to love them. Did you just say knitting?

36:08Peter Crouch: Knitting. Knitting.

36:09Karen Clancy: We used to go to Kirby Market and they'd all be hanging off, all the little sets, little twin sets for the babies. I love them old-fashioned knitted. And the knitted blankets for the pram.

36:19Abbey Clancy: Pete, we should have another baby. It's Mother's Day, make me a mother again. Why are you saying no?

36:26Peter Crouch: I don't want enough baby, babe.

36:28Abbey Clancy: No dogs. No more dogs. No more cats.

36:31Peter Crouch: Babe, you just bring dogs home. How many dogs have you got in this house today? You've got four with Karen's dog. So? Well, since it's Mother's Day, guys, what would the perfect Mother's Day look like for, I'll go with you first, Karen.

36:49Karen Clancy: I think I'd quite like that. Breakfast in bed. Kind of do nothing all day. Lovely. yeah, come down, be wasted on. But the house needs to be clean before you do that because you can't do nothing in a messy house. Well, you'd have to do that the night before, wouldn't you, before you go to bed. Yeah. Clean the house and be waking up to be, your cards, handmade cards, you normally get, don't you, as the kids, which are great. I've actually still got some. Handmade cards and breakfast made and maybe watching some nice movies and... Yeah, nice.

37:23Peter Crouch: Nice relaxing ones. You know,

37:24Karen Clancy: like when you get to watch them Christmas films and those family farms.

37:27Abbey Clancy: No one on earth watches them apart from you. They do? My mum watches like Christmas movies on like some rogue channel in like July. They start in June. They start actually start in June.

37:35Peter Crouch: I remember when you were staying with us, Karen. Romantic ones. You were finding channels that I didn't know exist.

37:40Karen Clancy: I was looking for romance. Some of those channels.

37:44Peter Crouch: What were they? It was like fake movies.

37:48Karen Clancy: American movies. Where everything... Kaz watches them as well.

37:52Peter Crouch: But they're like on Freeview, like Freeview film channels. I was like, the channel's called like romantic movies. It is, yeah.

38:00Karen Clancy: It's like the woman's driving the car and then she ends up crashing into the man and then he's taking her to court and then in the end they fall in love and get married. Yeah, I remember coming home a long time ago. That's a life I like.

38:13Peter Crouch: I remember coming home watching those on the couch sometimes with you.

38:17Abbey Clancy: Yeah. You know, we've actually got our own channel coming soon, Mum, for Therapy Crouch. Fantastic.

38:23Peter Crouch: There's going to be a Therapy Crouch channel it'd be on like kind of when it's all about free view channels and things like that you know the channels that built in like most of the TVs we're trying to get it everywhere they're a becrouched channel got about

38:35Abbey Clancy: get some new clothes then and I think anyone watches this they do need to make an effort

38:41Peter Crouch: you look great

38:43Abbey Clancy: but it's but I quite like seeing that when you go on the plane when you watch your own

38:47Peter Crouch: podcast on the plane yeah

38:50Karen Clancy: mum I've made it on the plane I've made it I always watch it when I'm doing the ironing oh do you Yeah. I like ironing. Get all my ironing ready and go get it on the table. I hate ironing.

39:00Abbey Clancy: Kaz watches us when she watches us when she does air ironing as well.

39:03Peter Crouch: Well, maybe it's the thing.

39:05Abbey Clancy: Okay, so going back to my perfect Mother's Day it'd be similar. My house needs to be spotless the night before. I don't want a thing out of place. Well, it would be anyway.

39:14Peter Crouch: Why does your Mother's Day consist of a clean house?

39:18Abbey Clancy: Because then we don't have anything to do the next day. And then I'd like, I'd love my breakfast in bed. and then maybe I'd like to go to a spa with my daughters. Yeah, that'd be nice. Do like a little massage and facial and then the boys can meet us for lunch and we have a nice lunch and then an early night family movie. Yeah.

39:37Peter Crouch: That sounds good.

39:38Abbey Clancy: Yeah.

39:38Karen Clancy: A romantic American film. Oh yeah. On free view.

39:45Peter Crouch: Nice, okay. Right ladies, I've made a game up for you.

39:50Abbey Clancy: Go on.

39:50Peter Crouch: Right, this is the game. Do you know Mr and Mrs? Yes. in the game where you kind of, you need to know each other inside out. This is mum and missus.

39:59Abbey Clancy: Good one, Pedro. Fucking hell.

40:02Peter Crouch: Took me all of 10 seconds to come up with that. Okay.

40:06Abbey Clancy: I thought you wanted to go into advertising if you weren't a footballer.

40:09Peter Crouch: I did that. That's just what my dad did. I think mum and missus is a great name. Great. Just simple. Does what it says on the tin. Exactly right. What is your mother's favourite takeaway?

40:21Abbey Clancy: I would say my mum's favourite takeaway would be a Chinese, but from a chippy, which would be like special fried rice, curry, chips.

40:32Karen Clancy: Definitely curry and chips, yeah.

40:34Peter Crouch: What would I have your favourite takeaway, V?

40:36Karen Clancy: Not really a takeaway.

40:38Peter Crouch: It varies, doesn't it?

40:39Karen Clancy: It does vary. I'm not a takeaway kind of...

40:41Peter Crouch: It's whatever she's in the mood for.

40:43Karen Clancy: Yeah. Like this week it was ramen soup.

40:46Peter Crouch: Yeah. No one's ever ordered ramen, have they?

40:50Karen Clancy: She was like on the way home, oh, I've got to have this. I've got to have a ramen soup. I actually wanted a wonton soup.

40:57Abbey Clancy: But you asked for ramen. I did ask for ramen. Or pizza, but I like them from the fake pizza places, like Top Cat or whatever it's called.

41:04Peter Crouch: Topps. Topps Pizza. Yeah. Nothing wrong with them.

41:07Abbey Clancy: I know, I like them.

41:08Peter Crouch: Okay, what is your mum's favourite film?

41:12Abbey Clancy: When Christine met Christine on Christmas Eve on the Freeview Christmas Channel.

41:19Peter Crouch: What is your favourite film, Karen?

41:22Karen Clancy: The Holiday? The Holiday

41:23Peter Crouch: Oh really?

41:24Karen Clancy: And yeah There's a few Love Actually And yeah Love Actually And what's the other one? I watch it out Erm It's complicated It's complicated Oh I love that That's incredible

41:38Abbey Clancy: Oh we should watch that tonight Oh god I love that You two go and watch that Yeah I love that film Yeah God we haven't watched that for ages No

41:47Peter Crouch: Abby's favourite film

41:49Karen Clancy: Well you don't know me No I don't because because what because you're older now I can tell you favourite from years ago go on then now that you're with peace I don't know what's more one from years ago then the holiday would have been

42:05Peter Crouch: one from years ago Romancing the Stone is it called or White Chicks

42:10Karen Clancy: White Chicks you used to like that I don't like White Chicks they used to watch it all the time White Chicks I used to watch

42:20Abbey Clancy: Overboard I watched that the other week

42:23Karen Clancy: I love that White chicks That's not me That's Sean Oh is that you and Sean Right pick Okay I'm not looking good here am I

42:31Peter Crouch: No okay right Because I've got to

42:33Karen Clancy: I've got to delve into the past Because you've got your own Things going together I knew where I'm not I'm still me mum Right

42:41Peter Crouch: If you're making out of a hot drink Is it tea, coffee, milk, sugar Tea

42:46Karen Clancy: Hardly any milk

42:47Abbey Clancy: Correct Your mum Same or whiskey.

42:56Peter Crouch: Your mum's first job?

42:58Karen Clancy: Stripper. That was my second job. Hairdresser? Yeah. Still doing it. Yeah.

43:06Peter Crouch: Brilliant. What, Abby's first job?

43:10Karen Clancy: In florist with Val? Floral elegance. I love that job. Yeah.

43:15Peter Crouch: You talk about it, you love it.

43:17Karen Clancy: Yeah, and she still likes flowers now and like them, don't you?

43:20Peter Crouch: Abby's, Biggest fear?

43:22Karen Clancy: She's going to die. Which is a fact. That's the truth, isn't it? Am I going to die? I've got a cold. I've got a cold. Am I going to die? I've got a pain in my arm. Am I going to die?

43:34Peter Crouch: That is one of your favourite questions, isn't it?

43:36Karen Clancy: That's what she says all the time.

43:38Peter Crouch: Babe, your mum's favourite fear? Favourite fear?

43:41Karen Clancy: My favourite?

43:42Peter Crouch: Your mum's biggest fear?

43:43Karen Clancy: I don't, it's not like a fear. I don't think you've got any fears, have you?

43:46Peter Crouch: What's Abby's dream holiday destination?

43:49Karen Clancy: Ooh. dream holiday god she has so many fabulous she loves the holidays when she comes home the suitcase is emptied and repack for the next one the same week you know they're lying upstairs aren't they living a dream you're stepping over the suitcase no it's only because I take months to pack and they're still getting around yeah that's true I don't know she loves everywhere she goes you know the Maldives everywhere you go you love don't you yes you come back and go wow yeah I couldn't pick one I think yours is Dubai you may yeah I thought it was Dubai or Mallorca I thought it was Dubai or Portugal and I went back this year for the first time because I've always gone with the kids and my whole family and I haven't been for a long time Covid and a number of things this time I went back on my own with my boyfriend which was great he was amazing boyfriend?

44:45Karen Clancy: but it wasn't the same well what do you want to call him?

44:47Abbey Clancy: we had this conversation last week on the pod? Like if you're oldie, do you call them boyfriend?

44:53Karen Clancy: Partner. Partner. Howdy partner.

44:55Peter Crouch: We had this discussion, didn't we?

44:57Karen Clancy: It sounds stupid anyway when you're old, whatever you say.

45:00Peter Crouch: It doesn't sound stupid.

45:02Karen Clancy: And it wasn't the same because everyone wasn't there. Yeah, but that's the thing, I think. Your life changes. With your best times,

45:10Abbey Clancy: it's not where you are, it's who you're with. It's who you're with, yeah. So you can be anywhere

45:14Karen Clancy: as long as you've got the people you love with you. I think I've lived in the past over Dubai. because we've had the best times there, haven't we? All the kids have grown up. But I'm starting a new one now. See where I'm going to go. I love going to Portugal as well.

45:31Peter Crouch: What's your mum's secret talent?

45:33Karen Clancy: She's good at netball. Comes in handy.

45:38Peter Crouch: Do you still play? Is it walking netball?

45:40Karen Clancy: Yes. You do? It's actually not walking netball. It's very fast.

45:44Peter Crouch: Did you get sent off, mum? Is it not walking? Is it just over?

45:47Karen Clancy: It's supposed to be walking. But probably don't walk. No, I have a lot of debates with people, like, you're not walking. You're walking at 100 miles an hour. That's not walking. That's not how you walk.

45:59Peter Crouch: Yeah, it's not how you walk.

46:00Karen Clancy: It can be quite dangerous. Dangerous. It is. It's quite dangerous. When you're my age, people fall over on the pitch and you break the hip. You don't get up again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't be walking that fast.

46:11Peter Crouch: Yeah. It's the hips of... In your hips. The hips are, like, at a certain age, the hips come into play, don't they? Yeah, they fall over.

46:17Karen Clancy: And the hips are gone. You know, stop the... You've paid me£3 to go. The match has stopped.

46:23Peter Crouch: Yeah.

46:24Karen Clancy: Waiting for an ambulance to come.

46:25Peter Crouch: Does it genuinely? All the time.

46:27Karen Clancy: All the time? I've had about four people. But, Mum, you're the youngest there. I'm not. I just look at it. I bet you do. They think I'm young. I'm not. But it's dangerous. You can't hiss into people anymore when you're older.

46:43Peter Crouch: Is there some of the old ladies going at it full hammer?

46:46Karen Clancy: Just bump. No, you just bump into each other. You look at the ball, you bump into someone. You fall on the floor and then they don't get up.

46:54Peter Crouch: Yeah, your hips are gone. Booze a while, she's down. No, you've got to wait for the ambulance to come. It's like midnight by the time you finish your game.

47:02Karen Clancy: Yeah, well, one woman was stuck in the... Ambulance is everywhere. One woman was waiting in the gym, lying on the floor till 10pm because it's not an emergency, but she couldn't get off. She couldn't get off. No, you're not supposed to move anyone. Oh, my God. You're not allowed.

47:18Abbey Clancy: This is why I used to forget my PE kick because I think netball and hockey is far too dangerous.

47:24Peter Crouch: Sport's dangerous in general, really. Shouldn't be allowed.

47:27Abbey Clancy: Well, I'm doing the most difficult sport at the moment on earth.

47:32Peter Crouch: Have you got a secret talent? She might have revealed one there.

47:35Karen Clancy: A secret talent? I think she, whatever she puts her hand to, I think she turns into good, doesn't she?

47:42Peter Crouch: Yeah.

47:43Karen Clancy: She's, you know, determined. Not anymore. Yeah. I was.

47:50Peter Crouch: One day a boo. Babe, you can do anything. I agree with your mum. You can do anything you put your mind to.

47:57Karen Clancy: You get fears, though, as you get older. Oh, yeah. When you get older, you can't. You think you can do what you used to do, and you can't.

48:05Peter Crouch: You can't.

48:06Karen Clancy: No.

48:07Peter Crouch: All right, Carice, since we've got you, would you mind helping us with some agony apps?

48:11Abbey Clancy: I'd love to. Agony apps.

48:14Peter Crouch: Okay.

48:14Abbey Clancy: Let's go. Do you want me to read one? Yeah, come on, babe. sick of the sound of your voice

48:18Peter Crouch: sick of the sound of my own voice okay

48:21Abbey Clancy: hey Abby Peter and Karen I'm a new mum my baby's only three months old this is a bit of a deeper question I just want to be the best mum in the world and I know as parents our actions shape our kids so much what would you say the top three tips are for being a great mum and why this is Sarah from Liverpool

48:41Karen Clancy: being very loving to your child teaching them to be kind and caring about others. Yeah. I think our manners, oh God.

48:53Peter Crouch: Do you know what I saw someone say the other day?

48:55Karen Clancy: Just normal, just manners to other people. That's not normal for a lot of people.

48:59Abbey Clancy: No, it's not. A lot of people don't even know how to show their emotion, express them. We've had listeners write in before saying, I've got my baby and I wasn't showed much love in my home growing up. And now I'm finding it difficult to do that. I think to kids, you've got to be tactile. you've just got to kiss them and cuddle them to death as much as you can that you you need to make sure your home is a safe haven for them to be who they are wear what they want like free speech and when i'm saying free speech i don't mean being cheeky and answering you back creating a safe environment where they need to show respect well i'm still trying to master that one but you know where people where they feel that they can come to you with any problem and tell you mum this happened in school today or this has made me sad or this has made me happy you've got to be present converse with them obviously an abundance of love and yeah and no one's perfect you can't be a perfect mom because sometimes you're in a bad mood or you're tired or you're busy so you're like go away leave me alone do you know what i mean i've got stuff to do and then you feel you're in bed going oh god i shouldn't have shouted at them for no reason or whatever no one's perfect every motherhood journey is different and as long as you're doing your best then that is all you can do

50:18Peter Crouch: yeah no agreed I think I heard something the other day where if your kids are incredibly polite outside of the house and it means that you obviously raise them correctly but if they are slightly feral kind of the kind of you know pushing the boundary stuff like that at home is because they know that you're going to love them unconditionally when they go out they know that they need to respect people

50:44Karen Clancy: yeah people always said to me well that's our kids well that's our kids

50:47Peter Crouch: it just rang true a little bit I'm not saying our kids are feral but I'm just saying that they're

50:51Abbey Clancy: no our kids our kids are trickier at home trickier at home

50:55Peter Crouch: but good as gold when they're out

50:56Abbey Clancy: good as gold like if we meet any of our friends go to any restaurants the school reports from their club various clubs it's all like your kids are so well mannered so lovely and then I'm like sorry what and then I'm like that's Sophia Sophia yeah if you've been in my wardrobe say oh shut up mum leave me alone go away like oh my god so that does ring true that thought it was nice yeah okay hi abby pete um and karen please keep me a non but

51:21Peter Crouch: i have to tell you this oh god uh my mother-in-law has a bit of a thing for me oh this is true karen this is similar for us at every mother's day she goes you have to call me mum today i know this may sound a bit harmless, but it's a bit of a flirty way. I'm a bit of a wind-up, so when I say to the missus, your mum defy fancies me, she laughs it off. But it is odd. Give me some ideas to the views situation on Sunday when she comes on the prowl. P.S. She is a bit of a cougar, so I don't mind. That's Anonymous 31. I'll tell you how I handle it. Well, you did sex to my mum once.

52:01Abbey Clancy: Yeah, but Pete, if anyone in the right mind would fancy my mum, so I don't blame you.

52:05Peter Crouch: Yeah.

52:08Abbey Clancy: My mum is better looking than me. I've been diluted with half my dad.

52:13Peter Crouch: I've been diluted. Yeah.

52:15Abbey Clancy: Literally. So how do you handle it, Peter?

52:18Peter Crouch: I just handle it by, you know, we just flirt and move on.

52:25Abbey Clancy: Do you remember when you sexted me, Mum? I did, yeah.

52:28Peter Crouch: I did

52:29Abbey Clancy: but my nan used to try and kiss me Pete on the lips remember my nan's like a hundred years older than Muzzy and you used to like go hi Peter and like kiss him on the lips like nearly vomiting him out remember yeah I'd be sorry you like me mum

52:42Peter Crouch: oh god you're like you mum

52:44Abbey Clancy: fucking hell

52:47Peter Crouch: what do we say here I think I don't know I think she I think it's probably all in this fella's head to be honest I think you should make this scenario up.

52:58Abbey Clancy: I think she needs to just get her in the corner and go, listen, slow down, get her off.

53:04Peter Crouch: Slow down.

53:06Abbey Clancy: Slow down. I'm taking.

53:07Peter Crouch: Take your cougar hands elsewhere.

53:09Abbey Clancy: Yeah. It's like on Wedding Crashers, Kitty Cat. Oh, God. Kitty Cat.

53:14Peter Crouch: God, yeah. Okay. Hi, Abby, Peter and Karen. Mother's Day's coming up and my wife likes to make, likes me to make a massive fuss even though she's actually my mum. What are the worst gifts that you've received for Mother's Day so I can avoid. And if you've got any recommendations to point me in the right direction, please do. I don't know what these men are like so adamant to not spoil their wives on Mother's Day. When I was a young father, I thought, I did think that, I thought, no, no, my mum is, what are you going to make a fuss of here? I didn't get the idea of making, it's not Wife's Day.

53:51Karen Clancy: The mother of your children.

53:52Peter Crouch: Yeah, yeah, I totally get that now. I do get it.

53:55Abbey Clancy: Imagine if I said to you on Father's Day, sorry, you're not getting anything because you're not my dad.

53:58Peter Crouch: Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. When you put it like that, it doesn't make any sense.

54:02Abbey Clancy: Yeah, like Father's Day, because it's Mother's Day. You're a mum now and you're a father now. Yeah, I get that now. It's never been said ever where a woman's gone, you're not getting anything for Father's Day because you're not my dad. But men say it to women all the time. Yeah, I totally agree with you, yeah. I think we should make a petition to get rid of Father's Day.

54:27Peter Crouch: It's the only thing we've got, isn't it? You've hijacked every other day.

54:35Peter Crouch: Valentine's. No one has ever gone, I'm going to make a real fuss of my husband this Valentine's. Pete, just me being present on Valentine's Day to you is enough.

54:45Abbey Clancy: It's 10 and off. No, I'm joking. I'm only joking. I don't think there's any such thing as a bad Mother's Day gift It's not about the gifts really is it It's just about the attention It's showing appreciation isn't it Yeah we want 100 % attention Maybe he could buy her a little bell That she could ring when she wants something

55:07Peter Crouch: Okay well I think let's all just enjoy Mother's Day I'm going to make a fuss of you You should make a fuss of your mum

55:14Abbey Clancy: Yeah always

55:14Peter Crouch: And I think we should have a lovely day I'm going to get planning it because I didn't know until today that it was happening. But no, listen, you do a lot for us. Babe, I've already told Najee

55:25Abbey Clancy: he's on standby.

55:27Peter Crouch: Oh, is he? Yeah. But I'd like to go out together. I've got something in my mind. I just hope it comes off.

55:31Abbey Clancy: Ooh. No, to be honest, this Mother's Day, we're going to be hungover because we're going to your friend's big 50th, the big 5-0. And it's also Sophia's birthday, so we're going to be hungover. So I hope you paid attention when you asked my mum what my favourite takeaway is.

55:43Peter Crouch: Yeah, listen, I'm all about for it.

55:45Abbey Clancy: Because you better get clean in that house, sister.

55:47Peter Crouch: Cars, flowers, sofa, takeaway.

55:51Abbey Clancy: Perfect.

55:52Peter Crouch: Yeah, Mum.

55:52Abbey Clancy: Mum, you enjoyed being on our therapy coach? Fantastic. Amazing. Another Mother's Day.

55:57Peter Crouch: We've loved having you. See you next year.