“Never Say That In Bed!” Abbey and Peter REACT To The Wild Fulham Trend!

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2:12Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Do if Phil comes out of my mouth.

2:20Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch. Ask me anything with me, Abby Cunsey. Me, Peter Crouch. And me, Gaz. How are we, guys? Good. All good. Back in the barn. Back in the barn. I like the barn. I like the barn. I like the barn as well. I like what you've done with the place. You've got some more feng shui behind you. Well, no, this is not our barn. This is Karis' barn. I know, but I like what she's done. No, it's a friend's barn. Yeah, yeah. I like what she's done with it. You got a nice little plant behind you there, Pete? Yeah. It's good. It does your name in the room. I like kind of getting out of our house and going to work.

2:51Do you know what I mean? Because there's always stuff going on at our house, isn't there? Like people everywhere. Dogs and stuff. Kids. I know. Do you know what I mean? I know. I wish the kids weren't coming to the wedding. It's so annoying. I thought you were going to say that. I've shown me a gag the other day. of two people saying, would you like a couple? Would you like kids? And then the wife goes, I don't think I do. And then the husband goes, I don't think I do. And then they're sitting down and kids go, kids, we've got something to tell you. We don't want you. We don't want you anymore.

3:31But you know, unfortunately, we're tied in now, aren't we? It's a no kid wedding, apart from our kids. I can't believe it we've been majorly stitched big time massively stitched up here how's that happened? because they're walking down the fucking altar the aisle they're heavily involved in it all yeah I just don't want them there I just don't want them there at all I just want to because everyone's going to be you know I love going on holiday and having a lie in which we've never had in the past 15 years but like we're going to be so hung over and like up at 6am with those little monkeys Yeah.

4:08Yeah, it's just a great wedding, isn't it? There's a lot of great, fun people going. Fantastic. We're on the FaceTime to a lot of our relatives last night. Like, everyone's so buzzing to get there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's be honest, right, it will be amazing having the kids involved. Like, it will be amazing. I mean, mum's going to do absolutely sweet FA. She'll be like, hi, kids. Like, just leave them. And she wouldn't go up. you young ones crack on now and have a nice time I'm old but I'll take the kids home and it's a two dayer isn't it so the next day with the hangover the kids will be up at the crack of dawn I imagine yeah which will be good anyway I mean it takes us out of and Pete's ruined the whole wedding he took Jack to get his hair cut so he's got a Phil Foden with zigzags in his bloody it's a cracker it's an absolute cracker I was like the buzz cut was bad enough with his tux because I loved his long hair Now he's got a buzz cut, an earring, and a Phil Foden with a zigzag, and a gold chain with a medallion on.

5:13That's what he wants to wear. He's rebranding himself, isn't he, in a massive way. He's got his own. What was the trainers like he wanted yesterday? I had to say no to him. I said, mate, I usually facilitate his... Individuality. Yeah, like, he is an individual. He's got his own style, and I love that. I love it. I'm like, yeah, you can have that. Red leather jacket. He's so confident in his own skin. I heard him say it the other day. Johnny was like, because I was saying we were in the shop and I wanted him to get a pair of trainers. I was hoping for just plain white trainers. Yeah. Going to get him some Nike white, just all plain white.

5:49And the stuff they were going for. Johnny was like, I want these. I was like, mate, you cannot. I can't have a son that wears them. Sorry. Jack wanted a leopard print. Oh. Nikes with leopard print tick. I like them. I didn't mind them. But they pulled these black trainers out, right? I don't know. Have you seen the ones that have, like, they look like they've got space hoppers on the bottom of them? Oh, God. It looks like an alien's head. I mean, they were just, I said, look, I know you've got your own thing going on, but that, they are just not acceptable. It's like a Yeezy kind of, looks like a spaceship-y.

6:25Oh, I know him. I see him. We've got a weird, like, is it this thing here? It's like a cone. Yeah, that soul. That soul. Yeah, that is funky, isn't it? Funky. Christ. That was a bridge too far. But anyway, he asked for this, basically he wanted a fade and he wanted a line. Like Phil Foden's got like a zigzag. Yeah. And he was like, I want a Foden. And I took him and it was, I think he looks great to be fair. Yeah. I do. He looks the nuts. I think it looks good in sportswear. But when, you know, I want him to look like a little posh boy with his long hair and look a bit, you know. he's got the tux and yeah maybe he's not a tux he's asked me for a Wayfarer Ray-Ban can we buy them at the airport Ray-Ban has he got his own stylist what's going on here he's got a bit of everything you know the like the classic Kate Moss Wayfarers Wayfarers the Ray-Ban he's always loved the sunglasses he wants them he wants them he said mum he showed me a picture he said can I have these to go with my tux so he wants them but the things he comes out with is just so pretty I love it.

7:31It cracks me up. That's so good. I'm going to get into this. Go on. Have we already got into it? No. Should we have a question? Let's have a question. I forgot. Okay, Cardi, Peter, Clancy and Gaz. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. Last week he told me he loved me for the first time. Oh, that's a bit. Which is amazing. You were like days? What was that? One year. Days. Yeah. It wasn't days. It was. Weeks then. Can you remember the first time you said it to each other? The L word. I actually think I do, yeah. Go on then. No, maybe it was... No, I think it was in the car. Was it in the car?

8:06Mm. Was it? Yeah. I think it was by an orderly edge. Yeah. On the way near... Out of Wilmslow. Day three. It wasn't day three. And you said it first? No. You said it first. Did I? I believe that. You did? What do you mean you don't believe that? Really? Yeah. What did you say, Ab? Did you say it back? Aw, thanks. Aw, cheers. So cute. You're so sweet.

8:39You are too much. Where are we going for lunch? No, I think the feeling was pretty mutual, wasn't it? You know, you know. I think also I always think that thing about like when you go down on one knee, I think you generally know the answer otherwise you're not going down on one knee. really yeah yeah a proposal yeah like i would never if i if i was not a hundred percent certain i bet you there's so many people who have rejected i see that but i'm like how does that happen how do you not know that your missus is gonna say yes yeah i mean i'd like to know the stats on that what percentage of people actually say no when someone goes down on one knee yeah i wonder if it's like 40 it could be quite high well i'd like to know because that is it's an interesting one because I just don't, I believe that you, there are people out there that take the risk with that.

9:34You look like an absolute weapon, don't you? Imagine in a public place getting hired. I don't like a public proposal though. I think it needs to be. It's not for me. When everyone's watching, I'd die. Yeah. I'd die. I know what you mean. Get a little round of applause from people you're never going to see again. you don't want to you'd feel uncomfortable if you wanted to cry or you wanted to jump for joy I don't know

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11:07I was shouting at you before our proposal, do you remember? Yeah. We were in Ibiza. We were in this amazing house. Sliding doors moment. And all Pete's friends, all Pete's friends are arriving. And he was like, I just got out the show. I just had a massage. Like we had massages in the house. And then he was like, are you not going to get dressed? I was like, no. He was like, you're going to stay with like wet hair and in pyjamas? I'm like, Pete, it's like eight o 'clock. There are friends, they don't care if I've got my bloody pyjamas on. And he was like, get dressed. I was like, I won't. You're telling me what to do for dinner.

11:44Telling me what to do. and then he was like come downstairs at me like and I was like basically refusing and arguing the whole time and eventually got me down there and then the whole place was just covered in a million candles and rose petals and I was like wet hair pyjamas no makeup look like crap he's shouting at me again she's like I've got wet hair I fucking tried to say I went yeah so that was that oh well but you know I had an inkling that you'd say yes. That's actually quite romantic. I've not heard that before. That's nice. That's a nice way of doing it. Yeah. Million candles. Okay, where were we?

12:23Sorry for interrupting as usual. We were here. He told me he loved me for the first time. It's amazing. The kicker was, it was in his sleep. He said, I love you in his sleep. Well, it might not have been to her. Well, yeah. We'd had a fairly late night and we were chatting to each other having a cuddle as he started dozing off. And he started dreaming but still talking out loud saying all sorts of stuff. I kept replying to him to see how long he'd keep going for. Then he came out with, I love you, sort of half muttered into the bit between the pillow and my armpit. I leave that absolutely buzzing.

12:58But now I don't know if it counts because he has no memory of it and hasn't set it awake. Do I bring it up and risk pressuring him? Do I wait it out? Am I in a relationship with a man who only loves me unconsciously? Genuinely torn. Jane from Cardiff Jane Oh my god I think you've been together for a year you're well within your rights to Why don't you just bring it up like organically like do you love me? No that's too much pressure Is that too much pressure? Yeah no I'd just be like do you know you said you loved me last night in your sleep sister do you mean that? Imagine you just went did I?

13:34Did I? God no doesn't sound like me That's just not factually correct Oh my god I've got mates I think it's a bit funny that they haven't said they'd love each other after a year anyway. I've got mates that have been together eight years. They just don't say it. They've never said it. And don't say it. I say it a million times a day. Yeah, I think you have to say it. It's a thing, you know. I texted you today. Just today, this morning. Do you know what I got back? Never left. What? I just said here, just randomly, for no reason at all, I love you. Do you know what I got back? What? I'm at the gate.

14:07Do you know what? I am. This is a one way to do this. I just... I don't feel like I'm getting enough back. Can I just say something? Can I just say something? On the kids' lives, I didn't see that. And I was on the phone to Kaz at the gate. And I just typed in your name and said I'm at the gate. So you didn't even look? I didn't look. So thank you, I love you too. My heart was bleeding at quarter pause nine today. Well, it's a thing. I saw this thing on Instagram. She's done with the gate, you twat. and it's like when women and men stop trying and stop making an effort and it you know obviously when you first get together it's all those little just just out the door and like text i miss you or i love you and all these little things and leave little notes and ask someone about the day not when they come in where have you been that you're late the kids got you need to take the kids there whatever you know just asking people about the day i think we went for a little period of being like that.

15:07We definitely did. You know? And I think we came out the other side of that. Yeah. I think we talked to each other much better now. Like, for instance, that. Like I said, I love you today for no apparent reason. You tell me you love me every day, though. I do. I know I do. But just then, I just thought, I really do. So I'll text her. Thank you. I love you, too. And I got, I'm at the gate. I swear. I swear. That would make me so happy if I saw that. Well, yeah, usually it does. You know. I just think of you having a little smile to yourself and then you usually text me back. I didn't say it, but thanks.

15:42I love you too. I'll text you back. Make sure you do, yeah? Just voice note me after this. I will. I love you, babe. I was well cute. Okay, I've lost it again. I think she's well within her right to bring it up and I think she should. And I think after a year they should be saying it anyway. No, because I think people say it too often. like with us now we do so we can say it whenever but I'm saying when you're new I think you shouldn't say it too early because it's flippant then do you know what I mean you gotta really know I think like when you say love I think that actually that's massive and you also that's the person that you can see yourself marrying do you know what I mean don't you don't say it every time you're in a relationship no I hate it when they're on love island and then after like a week they're Like, I love you.

16:30That's not acceptable in my body. It's just fucking shit. I don't think that makes a mockery of love. You're rushing it. Of it, yeah. Yeah. It's not. But they don't love each other at all. Well, obviously not. Like, you're on a TV show. How do you know? Like, I would never say that on a TV show. You don't know because their cameras are on at all times. They might be a totally different person when you get them home. Well, they will be because they're not going to be lounging around a pool in a bikini all day. Do you know what? I've had a few, like, holiday flings in my life and stuff. and when you come back it's got me thinking and when you write when you come home I am natural come on Romeo finish your story come on John Juan but no you have like a belter of a time when you're away and you travel together or whatever and then you come back and then you have to just do the dishes sit there watch telly on a Tuesday or whatever and like it's more it gets more boring than being out and surfing or whatever and then just dies a painful death.

17:28I find it hard to believe you can surf. You better believe it. No, I've actually never stepped foot on a surfboard. Have you? I know what you're saying. I surf. Yeah. Cowabunga surfing. Yeah. I love surfing. Really? You get up on it and do the proper torchbang? She did get up, yeah. I was slightly slower at getting up. Don't have you? I did get up. Yeah, you did. You looked quite good at it. I thought you were good. You're good at wakeboarding. Not wakeboarding. water skiing you were good that was average it took me a long time to get up but anyway I get what you're saying like it's all when everything's exciting it's situational isn't it yeah I just think when things especially when you bring kids into the mix as well I think if you can last the test of time when people have kids to save a relationship oof whoever decided to do that is brain dead because you know it's the worst thing you can do to a rocky relationship.

18:26You've got to be rock solid for just kids. You've got to be. Because that's like, yeah, it's tough. It's tough. It's amazing and it's the best thing in the world. Yeah. It is. And I know, you know, might just say that. Now we're suckers for the old kids malarkey. I'd love it. We love it, don't we? Yeah, I do love it. I really want another baby. You won't let me. I'm too old, but I'd love one, a newborn. Frickin' hell, we'll be grandparents soon. I know, I know. We'll come out soon. Yeah, but my mum, I don't, My sister when she was 40. I'd have to get pregnant straight away. And then I'd be, I'm nearly 41.

19:02I'd be about 43 by the time it was born. You can't have these old pregnant bitches run up in the club.

19:12Have you seen that? Have you seen when the girls go into the queue? I find that scene so funny. Because it's me and Kaz. It's me and Kaz at the club. and then they're pregnant now. I would tap that. It's not me. I would tap that. Yeah. It's just rules. You can't have whole pregnant bitches run up in the club. It's like, do you remember when someone was being mean to me? We were out. I think we were by, I think we were like going to the loo in a bar and some girl was like really horrible to me. And Cass went, what did you just say or something like that? And she went, who are you? Who are you, a fucking man?

19:47I mean, Cass were horrified. We were like, oh my God. Oh my God. What did you say? It's like she just like muted us on the spot because we were like, who are you? Fucking man. That's scandalous. Unbelievable. Scandalous. When you're of a certain age, any like old jokes, they just... Yeah, I think, you know... They just sucker punch you. You know an insult? Like, I think sometimes, you know a flippant insult, say a bit of road rage or something like that, when someone hits you for real cutter, you know like usually it's like you wanker and you think that's generic you know like you bastard whatever you know if you get a little old bag maybe maybe a c or yeah here's something history with something really really like what targeted yeah like oh size your ears mate yeah big nose fuck off i listened to john on the pod last week filling in for me god love him and he said something you said like you've got nothing to look forward to now in life and you went, why are you 60th?

20:44Did I say that? I've got nothing to look forward to in life. Cheery day, wasn't it, that one? I was just saying, well, you've got your 60th. I thought that was a brave comment to throw out. No, I've got my 50th before my fucking 60th, guys. You're barely 40. I'm nearly 41. I'm 40 and a half. No, I didn't mean like I've got nothing to look forward to in life. I mean all the good stuff has already happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm paraphrasing. That's such a bleak way to look at things. Your first kiss, your first date, your first baby, your wedding, your engagement. Yeah, but they're all the fun things that happen in your 20s, 30s, you know.

21:22Yeah, but they're all the best things. You've got the fun things now in the 40s and 50s. But there's not, you know, you're more secure. You've got, you know, you can afford to do things. You can, you know, our kids are kind of growing up. I could afford to do things when I was 20, sister. No, but I'm just saying, you know, you can do, like, yeah, shit, yeah. there's nothing we're fucked no but there's not other than I wish I'd be positive other than like grandkids other than grandkids there's no big thing no no big no new thing that's that's yeah but you can do new things like we could ski learn a language we could another language go and we could fly fly a plane I don't want to do that you could become a racing car driver I don't want to do that you don't want to do that yeah but I'm just saying just think of things that you would do You know my biggest fears?

22:10Okay, so I'm just thinking, what would I want to do? But what would you... Just think of things. You don't have to just wait to die. Yeah, but I'm sorry. Learning a language is not like getting your first kiss. It's just not. It would be. Yeah, but you might be able to get your first kiss from an Italian. If you learn Italian, you might be able to woo him. I don't want to do that. But I'm just saying, what do you enjoy? So what about set a target of riding a horse, do a horse race? That'd be good. Yeah, well, I was doing that. Become a dressage champion. I can't do that. You can't, can't, can't.

22:50Positive. You can. You're wonderful. No, I can. But I don't want to. Okay, well then. So what do you want to do then? Just talk about how shit your life is? No, I'm not saying. You're getting me totally wrong. I'm not saying I'm waiting to die. I'm saying all the firsts are gone. The best firsts. First baby, first kiss, first wedding. But, I mean, that's like saying, you know, if you're a baby, I've walked now. That's me done. No, it's not. Do you know what I mean? It's not like that at all. It's the same. He's gone, oh, I've walked now. That's the first walk done. literally like step it is though oh I've eaten solid food there done now there's so much food to have in your life there's amazing kisses you can have we can't we've got to kiss each other for the rest of our lives the first one's the worst one we've improved since then so actually if you look at it the first one was actually shit speak for yourself do you think you know what I mean it's got things get better Do you think there's a kissing expert out there?

24:06Do you think they exist? You're looking at her. I'm a good kisser. I'm not going to lie. I'm not complaining. I know you are. I taught you. I taught you everything you know. I taught you how to kiss properly. Maybe I'll need a few more lessons later. Right, moving on. Ask me something.

24:29Okay, got one here. Just listen to Thursday Ask Me Anything and talk about men. making noise and talking whilst doing the deed have been creasing. Gaz, you're just pure filth. Oh, God. Daddy. Getting called Daddy instead of Gary. One for the lads. Pedro and Gaz might like it, but Abby will probably be sick. Don't know if you've heard. Look up, up the Fulham on TikTok or Insta. It's a sound. I haven't seen any actual video, just the audio of it. If you can't find it, it's basically a man and a woman having sex, and he says up the Fulham and telling her to say it and she does and it sounds like they're both loving it.

25:08What's your opinion on it? I don't know what that means as in fuck Fulham football match. Do you reckon it could be a good shout or what? We've got up the Spurs, up the Pompey, up the Reds. Up the R's. Loads to go.

25:23Do you know QVR is the R's as well? That's what I said. Up the R's. That's what I said. That's what I said. I don't know if filth comes out of my mouth.

25:36No, football and SEX just do not mix. Oh, God. Have we got the sound? We've got the sound. I mean, you might not want to keep this in the show. Yeah, to be honest. Say up the floor. Up the floor. That's it, up the floor, up the white. Go on, scream it. Up the floor. Swing what? Oh, God. That is a trend. Our kids are watching that. That's unbelievable. That's a TikTok trend. That's a TikTok trend. You put that with something now that you enjoy, making your partner enjoy. Up the Fulham. Imagine that. There's lads out there. Say up the Fulham. But the girl shouldn't do it. She should just say no.

26:14She should refuse. If you said to me to say any football club during SEX, I'd be like... What about during his time playing? Up the Reds. Would you join in? We don't say, northerners don't say, well, scousers definitely don't say up anything really? no they say go on go on the reds wouldn't say up the reds what are you looking at me like that? I was thinking what I could try and make you say you can't make me say anything give us a robot pee

26:49do the robot again for me no I just don't find you funny one bit no I think it's revolting oh god cheers for that get on the end of this cross head in oh it's phenomenal red card for you mister I think that's pretty pretty amazing that he's done that it's wild to me that that's a thing that's actually circulating fantastic fair deuce I don't think you'd go for that would you it's vile that just wouldn't happen it's quite funny yeah but you don't want to mix humour in the bedroom do you no but I think at first it was very much like what say what there is a bit of that in there isn't it say what what are you talking about okay oh well I mean are we going to end on that one I feel like it's as good a place to end as any up the R's up the R's you R's you R's Ask me anything.

27:57Trevor.

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