“Only 20 Summers Left?!” Abbey & Pete Tackle Ageing Fears, Tech Neck & Gold Diggers

0:00Mod.com is changing the way people battle excessive fatigue. Ever hit a wall in the middle of the day and a third coffee just doesn't do it anymore? Here's what's actually happening. Coffee only briefly blocks adenosine, the chemical that tires you out. When it stops working, your system is flooded and you crash. Modafinil is a prescription treatment that works in a completely different way. Modafino works by stimulating multiple receptors in the brain associated with wakefulness, including dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, histamine, glutamate, and orexin. It's a more complete solution that gives you 10 to 12 hours of steady focus and energy.

0:43To learn more, go to mod.com. Fill out your intake form, meet with a licensed provider, and if approved, ModAlert ships straight to your door. Go to mod.com to get started. That's M-O-D dot com.

1:25is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments, you just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST.

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3:47I had a job once and I wore long jumps. You wore them out? You can literally see my cock and ball outline every day. Sure about that? I'll be home. It's done me again. Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch with me, Abby Clancy. Me Peter Crouch. And me, Gaz. Are we all right, guys? How are you doing, Gazlar? Very good, very good. Glad to be here. Back in the barn. Gazlar. Back in the barn. Back in the barn. I do like the barn. But I am craving... You knew... What? development. Just our set. We need our set back. I miss the sofa. I miss the sofa. This wheelie chair, like. I feel like a Dalek. Dalek.

4:27What a Dalek. Well, because they're Daleks. I've never seen that. Doctor Who. Yeah. You've never seen it? I've never seen it. No, it's just not up my street at all. Is it not? No. No, it's a sci-fi. I thought, I hate sci-fi. Fair enough. I hate sci-fi. Yeah. Do you? You wouldn't like Doctor Who then? I haven't seen Doctor Who for years. I used to watch it when I was a kid. Did you? Yeah, it's all changed a bit now, hasn't it? No, it's not for me. Anyway. Yeah, it is weird. Therapy crouch, and we haven't been on a couch for about half a year, have we? No. We need to get you. Constantly evolving now, aren't we?

5:02So what were you just saying off camera there? Well, I was just saying, like, yeah, basically, Liverpool posted something about my scissor kick against Galatasaray. Googling yourself again, are you? No, it was the, I follow Liverpool and they put it out there. 20 years ago, that was. Wowee. 20 years ago. I remember it. I couldn't believe it. So recently, my memory as well. It's mental. It's mad. It's crazy. I know. It's so, it's so scary. My dad said like, once you hit 30, your life just goes and fast forward. Scary, right? I've been thinking about this lately. Getting old, not even in like an appearance way.

5:43because that actually doesn't bother me. I like it when you see people getting older. Yeah. And obviously I don't want to have loads of wrinkles, but, you know, it doesn't offend me age, you know, getting older. And, you know, if you can see like happiness, like look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, you know, like happy and get, you know, just still beauty. It's when you become Mizzo. If you get older, Mizzo. Yeah, but it's just like I have been thinking a lot, Like, you know, we've only got like 20 summers left. 20 summers left? That's a grim thought. No, I know. It's like if you had a marble, you had a jar of marbles.

6:21So you'll be 65. You've only got 20 decent summers left. Yeah, I think 65 to, you can still have a good 65 to 80. No, I'm not saying 65, it's game over. But I'm just saying, you know, that 65-year-olds are still youthful, aren't they? Yeah. Like once you start going over into your 70s. Yeah. I say it's only the 80s, 90s where you're like legally a pensioner, right? And that's probably when you start to feel your age, I'd say. But do many people last till the 90? I don't know. Not really, no. We'll check. I'll find out. But you're both looking great. I think you've... No, listen, I feel good. I think, you know, the other day I was with...

7:02I did Joe Cole's... Carlton Cole and Wayne Bridges podcast. and they were there was a kid who worked on it who said he watched his first game he went to watch Tottenham and I was playing I scored and he remembers it still and he was five my god that blows my mind that but it's it's funny when you get older how you look at things because even like the teachers in the school I'm like fucking hell a child as a teacher yeah yeah yeah and they're like in their 20s it's baffling and Lib was like when you get older do you fancy old people Lord you still fancy young people I'm like it feels wrong for me to fancy Leonardo DiCaprio and Titanic now because he looks like a child it's like the barometer yeah do you know what I mean yeah I know what you mean I do for did we talk about this when I was watching me and Ellie were watching Doolittle with the kids did I say this last week or not no I don't think so so me and Ellie were watching Doolittle and I was like do you think he's fit and I was like yeah and i was talking about robert downey jr and she was talking about the kid and i was like he's about 60 now and i was like el was like how old is this film and she was talking about the little boy and he's about like 14 or something like el that's so fucked up you know i'm talking about robert downey jr and it's like it is a thing like as you get older.

8:29Yeah. I think you do fancy older men. I do. I love the guy off Star Is Born with the white muzzy. I think he's so fit. Do you know the old guy? Oh yeah, you said this. Bradley Cooper's brother. Yeah, what was his name? He's gorgeous. Do you know which one I mean? Yeah. And he's on the golden compass as well. Sam Elliot. He's got the big white Sam Elliot. That's it, yeah. What a man. Yeah, we did talk about that, didn't we? Straight in my basket. Is there any old ones you like? You've always been into older women though. Yeah, yeah. Like a MILF. Or a GILF. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Good. Lucky for you, isn't it?

9:12Here's a question actually for you, so you don't have to answer it. Do you think you look better now personally to yourselves than you did when you were younger? Like when you was like 18? Yeah. Bloody hell. But if I had the confidence then, because I think there's so much like pressures on the younger ones. Because when I was a kid, it wasn't like you have all this luxury skincare and you're doing all these selfies. You just, you know, you get sunshine. Well, I used to get sunshine on a bit of wet tissue and rub it all over my face and go out and get the stick on lashes thinking I was like a 10.

9:45Yeah. Well, unbelievable. I had unbelievable confidence for a man of my stature. I had a baggy Ben Sherman shirt on with a fucking neck, like Damien from Home and Away, a long neck. And then I had half-masked fucking jeans on, white socks and strangled pumas. You still have. Hold on. They do go down when I stand up. They're custom-made as well, Tom Sweeney. They're still bloody half-masked. If I sit down, they're going to ride up, aren't they? Yeah. But yeah, I mean, you know, I was not. I just don't feel like there was so much. You weren't looking at yourself that much. clearly when I look back at pictures I definitely wasn't someone like clover was absolutely criminal you just used to go out and have fun I used to like cut jeans up and put safety pins all in them all down the side and everything what the hell the distressed look do it myself, fray them put safety pins all down the leg I saw a picture of me it was Gibral Seasayer he had a fashion label we all went like he's got questionable It was top fubber.

10:56I was thinking, I'm going to a fashion event. Yeah. And I've got like this shirt underneath this Lyle and Scott jumper. I used to get you them because it was Lyle and Scott. I used to wear that. I thought I was so cool. The shit we're doing with kids. I had a job once at Liverpool in the media team and I went there, I was about 19 or something and I wore long johns. I think they were like, I don't know, really nice expensive. I love long johns. Yeah, but they're not. Undie pants. They're like underpants really for old men. But I wore them like they were skinny fit like jeggings wore them out i want them to work for weeks and weeks and weeks went home went to birmingham saw my dad he picked me up from the station he was like why have you got pants on i was like no these are my these are my like work trousers he's like they're long johns i was like yeah he was like they're pants for old men you can literally see my cock and ball outline every day no one said anything in the office sure about that i'll be done me again

11:49But you used to wear my bloody gym leggings or skins. Yeah, but that's really cold like golf. I didn't have enough. My gym leggings, they're baggy on them. Oh, yeah. Long Johns, you don't see them much anymore, do you? Yeah. Skins have taken over, haven't they? Like the under armour. I love a pair of Long Johns. I love a pair of Long Johns, old school kind of baggy ones. You used to wear them when you used to do the football commentary? Yeah, I used to, yeah. Pete had a heated gilet. Oh, nice. With like a remote control heated gilet. You have to, it's bolted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if you're out in the middle of winter, forget actually, because it's been so nice.

12:28Every day you come back, these hand warmers, still warm, feel them. I'll be in bed at like midnight, feel these. I'm like, I don't want to feel the hand warmers. I've had them all day. That's an old comment, isn't it? You know, that's a lot. Have a look at them, feel how warm they are. the other one about being old is uh we will get into helping people in a minute but yeah the other one about getting old the other day so i i did something that was like really old the other day and it was like so i parked in the train station car park yeah and obviously the car next to me is parked really close to the side there so i've got and i'm actually i'm fully in the zone but obviously a little bit more over one side.

13:11And they'd done me. They did me. I paid for the parking ticket. Yeah. And I got a parking ticket. And it said, I read it, and it said... Over the line. Over the line. You're joking. But I could not have got in the opposite space any other way. So I made a formal complaint. Good lad. I wrote a letter and said, I do not accept this parking fine. Good. Good man. But I think that is... Can you do that for the 12 that are in my glove box? do you know what I mean because I'm not I'm not having this so I don't know whether that's an old thing you know where you go like I'll write a letter to the council yeah no I know exactly normally I would never write a letter I don't think you've ever paid one just leave them you know what I mean it's a principal thing I think the principal of that yeah was outrageous how dare you I would love to meet that person that did that to me yeah yeah and just let him know that that was an outrageous I hate them traffic wardens let's call them out they're absolute knobs aren't they yeah Yeah, God, I get a ticket a week in London.

14:10It's a joke. Every new road's got a thing you can't go up. It's just so ridiculous. Yeah. I'm always like, don't know how you bloody sleep at night, you. So I need to go around the front taking pictures and all that. So I think as well, like starting to adore your garden. Is it getting old? Yeah, well, that's it. You said tonight you want to tend to your vegetables. Yeah. No, that's seriously old. This is like when we get pictures and we're like, look at them flowers. Pete's like look at these look at those look at those it's a thing isn't it you know the other day we went to the doctors and we're sitting in the waiting room so I sat outside and there was all magazines there was like a car one porno yeah like porno there was lots lots of like a squire magazine you know this and that You know what I picked up?

15:07Home and garden. Yeah, it was Country Life. Yeah, I love it. Oh, yeah. I love it. Yeah. Well, I don't think it was country. It was something about gardens. Country living. Country living, that's what it was. Did you have a little flick through? Yeah, so all the magazines I went for. And number one, I went for a magazine. Everyone else I looked around was on their phones. Good man. And I picked up a magazine and went, that's old. I didn't love that. No. Don't reckon. I think that's great. I think it's great. I really respect that. Well, yeah, I was thinking to myself, maybe I'm in the wrong here because I look around and everyone's on their phone.

15:40I thought, what's the point of these magazines? Yeah. But, yeah. I think it's fine. I actually thought everyone was on the phone in the waiting room as well. Yeah, did you see that? This guy was so hunched over. Tech neck. Tech neck. I was just like... Tech neck. I'm so... You know tech necks, obviously, like, everyone's going to end up being a bulb as a species. Like that? You know what they said about the finger? Yeah. You know people's fingers now? My fingers, look at mine. Yeah, that's it. From the phone being on the back finger, it's separating. Oh, my God. Do you? Yeah, I can imagine that.

16:11Yeah, and it's the same with Tech Neck. So everyone's either on computers or looking at their phone and their neck is going to, our necks will change over time. You know what, my kids are so anti kind of tech, well, I say that apart from iPad addiction, which I've now put them in the bin. They're so against AI. so I said something the other day I needed an answer for something I said ask Chachi PTA and Lib said no do you know an animal is going to die now because you're using Chachi PTA because there's no water that was it we were driving through our local village and the water was dry and she was like you know why that's AI because all the machines with AI are using up all the water so there's a stat now that so many animals are becoming extinct because all the water's going yeah I can believe that yeah to cool down the machines to generate the AI.

17:01Isn't that terrible? Is that true? It's true? It's also been really hot. Yeah. No, but the amount of water, could you just Google how much water is used a day to generate? Okay, AI to tell me the irony. How much water is used to... They probably lied to. To... We said, no, we're fine. We're not using too much water. No, it's true. The kids learn about it in school. This is mental. So a typical 100 word prompt or a question to AI can consume anywhere from a millimetre to roughly one bottle of water depending on the model's efficiency and how electricity is generated. So a bottle of water every time you ask a question, potentially.

17:41It's mental, isn't it? What? To cool down the servers. It's terrible. It's so bad. It's mad. That's why everyone's saying invest in water because there's going to be none. Really? Yeah. Well, I've been saying this for years, haven't I? The world's getting hotter. Have you been saying that for years? I have been. Me and Greta have been shouting from the rooftops. No one's listening.

18:11Mod.com is changing the way people battle excessive fatigue. Ever hit a wall in the middle of the day and a third coffee just doesn't do it anymore? Here's what's actually happening. Coffee only briefly blocks adenosine, the chemical that tires you out. When it stops working, your system is flooded and you crash. Modafinil is a prescription treatment that works in a completely different way. Modafinil works by stimulating multiple receptors in the brain associated with wakefulness, including dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, histamine, glutamate, and orexin. It's a more complete solution that gives you 10 to 12 hours of steady focus and energy.

18:53To learn more, go to mod.com. Fill out your intake form, meet with a licensed provider, and if approved, ModAlert ships straight to your door. Go to mod.com to get started. That's M-O-D dot com. Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for.

19:35Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST.

20:17that's growtherapy.com slash acast growtherapy.com slash acast availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan i think if sign of getting older my folks will go to the restaurant and be like they take care of us here they look after us here i'm like when do you substitute like a crap meal for just being looked after a little bit i don't know yeah there's a lot for service isn't there i also find like you know my local indian restaurant they they used to be so rude to us and it was i it's so endearing about it i mean my dad would go in and he'd order something and he'd go mr crash too much again too much no and he'd go like what

21:01phenomenal that's so funny tell him he couldn't have it i quite like that as well do you know i mean being like sometimes as you go to a restaurant they're rude to you I always find yeah yeah I kind of don't yeah cruel to be kind a little bit sometimes I like winning them over I make it my mission remember when we were in New York and he came over and he was a complete twat at the start and then by the end he was asking me for like restaurant recommendations in London I do remember that I make it my mission to like instead of being a complete instead of being a twat back to them which I could quite easily do I try and win them over and like kill them with kindness and call them by the read the badge call them by the name.

21:41That's the best way to be. And it always works. Yeah. Have you got a wine for me? Yeah, I think you're parking on the driveway. For some reason, we're driving two separate cars. We did that today as well. What is this new thing? Because I don't want you in the new house. What the hell? Because you're going to ruin it. You're ruining the experience. Ruining the experience. So I'm going to go on my own. So that's my wine. You're not coming to the meeting. You're not coming to the meeting because you're too miserable. Totally. I'm not miserable. I just, I don't have the same form. Stands in the doorway like this.

22:14She's horny. She stays there for like four hours talking about fucking. You're so horny about it. You look so. I don't think horny is the word you would use. The excitement is phenomenal. It's like, you know, let's discuss like lights for so long. I'm like, it's more of an in and out thing for me. Oh yeah. Shock. I'd like to go and see it and then make a decision and then move on. Anyway. But you know you're going to get punished financially for this. I'm sorry. Because you're not, like, paying attention. I can't keep track of... I'm paying close attention to the invoices. Good. What about that?

22:54Good. The issue is what I have is you're parking now. Now that we're in two separate cars, you're just parking wherever you like on the drive and I can't even get past scraping my car and everything just to get out. You should see a staterless car. Both sides. Just... Should I just come in and park anywhere? No, because I can't reverse on an angle. So what I'm doing is I will drive, because we're in this rental home at the moment, so I'll drive through the gate and park straight dead ahead, because that way I could just reverse back in the same position. If I go round the corner, it's too small for me to get out.

23:35I can't do it. Yeah. And there's no, I can't do like a 45 million point turn, which is what I'm used to. But Pete being a master driver, I thought he could get in behind. I can do it, but it's like, it's so tight. Every time. Every time. I'm like, I don't want to go through this pain every day. And I used his car the other day and I did kerbs the kerb. And I went into a bit of a bush and I was like... Hold on. Do I actually just said that casually? I did kerb it and then went into a bush. No, not into a bush, but it was down a country lane. Scraped the bush. So I was so worried about telling Pete.

24:15And then he said, oh, no, I did. I bumped it the other day. It was me. And like all day, I was like sick worrying about it. Were you worried about that? Yeah. I thought you were worried. Don't be worried. I'm not an ogre. No. No. Well, you're not normally bothered about stuff like that, but I just thought, oh, my God, it's like, because I'm not allowed in this car. Oh, really? No. Are you banned from the car? Yeah, I'm banned from it. I mean, it's just, if we're going weekly wines again, the middle section, for someone who's so clean and like OCD, the middle is like, that's your time to let loose.

24:47Okay. It feels like that's your time to be free. No, but it's not me. It's our horrible children. No, it's you. There's lipstick, banana peel, you know, lip glosses, earrings. That's not an earring. That's a bag. Eyeliner. That's a bag charm. Like thousands of chargers. Might get some grapes. The worst one was when she had spilled a coffee in there and the whole thing, so when I was driving, it was like moving around. I was going to say, yeah. Coffee in the middle. It's the worst. And then it dries up eventually and it goes all congealed in there. For someone so clean and like tidy, the middle is just, is that just where you go like, oh, thank God I can relax.

25:33No, because I'm normally like on a long journey so I'll take snacks. And then I like leaving a lippy in my car because I don't carry a handbag. Yeah. Because obviously now with that Apple Pay, you don't need a bag unless it's Chanel and Chris is coming up. No, I'm joking. So I just, I put snacks and stuff in there and I always have a lippy in my car, a pair of sunglasses. I don't mind it really. Okay, let's go back in time together. Stop your whining. Yeah. Oh no, have we got any audience whines? Yes, we have. I've got one here from Deb from Liverpool says hi guys love you heard the other week's episode about Gaz having sleep paralysis and it reminded me of something my husband snores so I got him one of those anti-snore face mask gadgets I thought it'd be a load of bollocks but it actually works too well he now sleeps silently peacefully like a baby and I lie awake listening to the terrifying nothing convinced he's died I feel like I've swapped snoring insomnia to a full on Game of Thrones shift at the night's watch.

26:38Poking him every hour to check he's alive. I've had four hours sleep since Tuesday and I missed the honking. He's much happier now and he's getting better sleep. But do I secretly bin the gadget? Do you have one of these gadgets? Did we talk about this before? No. I saw one on Instagram and you just put it on your chin. Have you seen that? No. And it stops you snoring. Really? You just put it on your chin. What is the gadget she's talking about? I think it's like the Darth Vader mask, isn't it? I think it'll be like the sleep apnea thing. We've got a Tony autograph on. This is cool. It's just like a little chin strap.

27:10Yeah. Yeah. Anti-story device. Dark it's not. I slept with the boys last night. Oh, Judy, the other night. Do you know Liv Videojew? Do you know that? Did you? She stitched you up there. Is that when I wasn't well? Yeah, you weren't well. But if you've got a cold, how are you not supposed to snore? I'm not a snorer. No, you're not. Everyone's had this bug lately where they're just like wiped out and just want to sleep. All the time, yeah. Like my friend had it, Lucinda. You had it as well. You were constipated as well for four days. I feel like there's too much information on you. But that constipation thing.

27:50I went on a golf trip and I drank a lot of Guinness. And I think that might have been it. Yeah, I think so. I don't know if you've ever... I don't know how much to share. Here we go. Have you ever tried glycerin? No. I asked the doctor, I said, I need to go, but it's not coming out. I don't know if I'm comfortable listening to this. I'm loving it. So this glycerin is basically a suppository that you get and you put water on it and then you have to put it up. Okay. Okay. I wasn't expecting that. Where was I when you were doing all this? Shabbering yourself. Shabbering yourself, left, right and centre.

28:34I've unshabbered myself. It works, you know. So he said, hold on for a bit. First kind of 20, 15, 20 minutes. Then it comes like, you can feel it. And then, yeah, what really worked? Really worked for me. See, I think that's what getting old is. Science of aging. Where was I? See, that's so fucked up. Why is that fucked up? It's like, you've done that in secret. I haven't done it in secret. I don't want to tell you. I know I've told the podcast now. You're telling the nation? I know, but I feel comfortable now. The things you could get up to without me knowing. Literally. When were you doing that?

29:06I just did it at home. Hope you washed your hands. It needed to happen. That's great that he's obviously sleeping better. The gadgets worked. I think you'll learn to cope with the silentness over time. You know he's not going. But that is the thing about, like, getting old as well. Like, old people want silence, don't they? Why is that? Yeah, they want quiet, peace and quiet. They want quiet, but I miss the noise. Like, when the kids... I don't like being in the house, and, like, as much as we moan about it. Like, I bought Monopoly for the kids, thought, well, make a lovely roast, and we'll all play Monopoly, because they're at the age where they can, you know, add up and all that jazz.

29:49Yeah. Did you hear the noise that came out of that Monopoly game? I left. I went upstairs. They were killing each other. They go feral for Monopoly. killing each other. I thought that was a lovely family bringing together. I was like, you're a robber of my money. You left me to it. It was absolute carnage. Was it? They were all talking at the same time. The three little ones stealing each other's money. Oh my God. Whacking the... Oh my God. Throwing the... It's still going on. Doing like that at the board. It's one of those where, you know, you leave it for the next day. Can you trust that? I've got to go back to that tonight.

30:22Can you trust that? I have to film it. I filmed all the money. The houses. I filmed it. So now I've got evidence. Like when you rent a car on holiday and you go around it just to make sure there's no scratches. You've just done that with a board. Do you know I filmed it? Because you're the second person to say that this week to me. Really? About filming a car. Have you never done that? Have you never done that? No. You've got to. You've got to protect your back. Look at this, look. I generally filmed it, look.

30:47Johnny's wife.

30:53When I was trying to explain to them, I'm like, he had like one 500 note. And I was like, do you want five ones? No, I've got my 500. I'm like, but you need change. I was just like, it's not for me. This is not for you. Not for me. I needed peace and quiet. That's so funny. Is that a Christmas day thing in your house as well? Would you crack out the board game? No, because the kids, like our youngest is seven. So it's only the age where we can all play as a family now. It's actually all right. You know, like it was, you know, there was a lot of, there's a lot of talking but it was all good fun.

31:25Yeah, yeah. It was, you just got to be in the mood for it. If you want peace and quiet, it wasn't peace and quiet. No. It was actually good fun. I'm actually quite looking forward to playing it. Any more wines? Yeah, I've got one here. My wife started leaving me voice notes from the other room. Not from work, not from the shops, from the next room in the house. I'll get a two minute voice note from her that normally begins with so I've been thinking and I reckon I can hear her through the wall as it records. She's 30 feet away. I reckon I could shout back and she'd hear me. What do you reckon I should do?

31:59I have half a mind to start replying with voice notes from the bathroom while I'm taking a dump and get my own back. Oh, God. Well, I don't send you voice notes anymore, seeing as though you told everyone you never listened to them. I do listen to them, but I can't listen to all of them. I can't believe that. No, it's just the personal ones I listen to, but the ones that are in groups, I know that don't involve me usually is that offended you? Fair enough I'm used to you paying zero attention to anything that's not true anything about me that is just not true like even going through the diary then like frothing at the gash of a day off to play golf like there's never ever when have I last played golf?

32:41you've just been on a four day golf trip? other than a golf trip like when when have I been to my local club? yeah but it's It's just, I'd like you to say, do you want to do something together? Do you want to do something together? Yeah. Do you mean that? On Friday. I'd like to do that. Friday, please. Okay. That's fine. That's a day off for me. You can do something. Sounds nice. You heard it here, folks. I'll take you out. No, that'll consist of, I'll play golf and you come and meet me at the golf club with all my mates and we'll all be bladded. You'd love doing that. No, I don't. But we won't.

33:12We will do something nice. No, genuinely, if you're going to... I really want like... Do you mean that? I really want to go to an amazing restaurant and eat, like, really lovely food. Yeah, let's do that. Are you up for it? Yeah. OK, we've made a date there. I'll let you know how it goes. Is that a huelbub? Why are you drinking a protein shake? I'm not. It's a meal in a bottle. Pete, do you know how busy I am? The kids started school today. I had to meet builders. I had to get my hair done. I had to pack six suitcases. I haven't got time to be in the kitchen making a big meal for myself or you, in fact.

33:46Well, you haven't done that for years. I wish I hadn't asked, to be quite perfectly honest. It's good, though. I'm into these. 35 grams of protein, 26 vitamins and minerals, 7 grams of fibre. My guns are going to be looking like steel. You've been saying that for years as well. Yeah, well, I'll start on the hill. You never know. No, it's great. Tastes good. It's delicious. This, for me, chocolate peanut butter. I see, I like the vanilla. Right on my list. I'm a fan of vanilla as well. But you could just put these in your golf bag. You know, you're there for hours and hours and hours. I don't know if you're getting fed.

34:20This is a meal in a bottle. So if you're looking for a healthy lunch option, I'm giving you a limited time offer to try Huel. Get£10 off with our code THERAPYCROUCH10 plus£30 in freebies for new customers. What more do you want? Well, I don't want any more than that. Right, guys, I think it's quite apt that we actually started off this episode talking about ageing, growing old, etc. Because on the 25th of October, I don't know if you know, the clocks go back an hour. so you get another hour in bed which is always good oh yeah i love that fall back spring forward that's it exactly um so we thought we did a back in time game i've got some scenarios here where i'd like you to rewind the clock on your own lives and offer a solution to some of these things for yourself so for example if you could go back to your childhood and stop slash warn yourself from doing something what moment would you go back to and what would you do is that the first question that's the first question if you could warn yourself as a kid I don't think I'd change anything in my childhood not loads not a lot like there's nothing my age I don't mean like for example I can I can kick off I only thought of this because at the weekend I was clearing out my emails as you do and I found a really old one yay and this gets worse I used to love my English teacher she was like phenomenal right I used to think I'd have a chance with her and she left my school eventually and then moved to a school in Hammersmith and I found out she worked there so I emailed her when I was like 18 and I was like, hi, I just want to say thanks for all the years of education, thank you.

35:51And she replied. Were you like trying to crack on? Well, I didn't realise. I was reading. She was like, hi, Gary Love is here for me. Glad you're doing well. And you've moved to London. And then I replied, me and my mate are off to Magaluf next week if you'd like to come. I invited her to Magaluf. Oh my God. Genuinely. And I read it back and I was like, what was I on? And she didn't reply to that, obviously. I wrote to Ja Rule. I wrote to Ja Rule when I was a kid. To Ja Rule. Ask a good eye singer in one of his songs. Did he reply? No. Would you go back in time and stop yourself? No, I tell you what I did do, which is excruciating when I was a kid.

36:25Do you remember Reebok classics? Yeah. Yeah. For Christmas, my mum got me the wrong Reeboks. And it was like a plain white Reebok. And I got a gold pen and wrote classic under it. And everyone was like. Oh my God. They're not Reebok classics now. I was like, they are. They are. They are. They were like, you wrote that on yourself. And I was like, no, I didn't. These are the new ones out. Like, these are the new. And I did it with, I think I had like a crop top and knickers and I think it was from like Ethel Austin's and it was when the Calvin Klein come out and I got a black Sharpie and wrote Calvin Klein, but spelt it wrong.

37:01Spelt Klein wrong. Me too. Kellen. I put the I before the E. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Easy mistake that. And I used to wear them with like jeans and have it poking out with hand drawn on Calvin Klein. I'd definitely go back and tell myself not to do that. That's a great answer. P and Abby, remind the audience of your first date, then pick one thing that if you could do it all over again, you'd have changed. Was this when she brought her round of drinks? Yeah, I mean, I've never heard the end of that. So if I could go back and say, no, my darling, don't you dare buy any drinks. these are on me that's what I'd say yeah I think I'd change my outfit I had the most ridiculous outfit on I had a white shirt denim jeans Victoria Beckham ones oh yeah with diamonds on the bum and leopard print stilettos with a bow on the front it's like what was I thinking didn't it look lovely it was very sign of the time yeah gorgeous what would you have changed it to?

38:07In retrospect, a dress? I don't know. I don't know why I'm offering suggestions. Like I've got one over here. Yeah, I would have worn LBD. LBD. Yeah. That was a perfect first date. We're still here, aren't we? Still here. Okay, in this one, you can travel to a famous moment in history, whether to observe it or get involved. What would you choose and what would you do? Yeah, any moment in history. which always would be like football related or completely different do you know i mean is there a moment you wish you were there are you snoring i'm thinking oh i thought you were going that is a tough one well i'm pretty involved in most things i get myself involved in most things i probably need to look back and uninvolve myself do you know i mean i always make you know other people's issues my own and get involved yeah um i think like a moment in history i think something like um you know like that kind of those festivals in the 70s oh yeah just about to say that woodstock oh my god yeah that kind of vibe you know first glass yeah i'd like to have been around in that it's literally my answer as well yeah i can't believe you said that yeah that's mine peace and love yeah imagine what that was like the swinging 60s i've got this big book of glastonbury through the years and it just at the early stages it was just take your car like your big i don't know like little van camper van yeah and you put pillows at the back you basically put shag in it and look at the pyramid stage which was basically a tiny little stone it was all it was like the swinging 60s you can see it like everyone's topless everyone's just like out and it's like it's where the site is still now today but obviously it's a completely different festival but I was like that's rock and roll that innit swinging 60s peace and love peace and love smoke a spliff and shag

40:08sounds like hell to me I was thinking more for the fashion oh yeah that would be good as well yeah and that kind of I love that look on men like 70s that's cool even when you look back at John Giddings when he started the Isle of Wight festival like the line up like jimmy hendrix roland stones um fleetwood mac like epic yeah yeah phenomenal oh my god good time yeah good times i think that would be a good one um okay if you had to go back in time and live in one year forever which would it be mine it'd be lockdown

40:49no you've said this before no you said that was a time for your family i just loved it like i had All my kids, have my husband with me every day. It was, I say calm, obviously. It was pretty calm though. It wasn't like, because it was nice weather. Yeah. It was lovely weather. And I know it was such a terrible time for people who were on their own or people are ill and loads of people lost people. But for me, just to have that time with the family, not have to rush off and have all your little kids go to school and your husband go to work and yourself go to work just to be together. Yeah. You know, I just love that.

41:24I think that's a totally fair answer. It's nice that we could all connect in those times. Because you did, you had to. You just had to be together, right? Yeah. So I think that's fair. And it just solidified our love, I thought. There's nowhere else I wanted to be. Even if you reverse that, where would you change to be? Nowhere. I'll go back to the 2006-07 season. Yeah.

41:50Where we just won the FA Cup, got to a Champions League final. I think I was top goal scorer at Liverpool that year. And you met me? Playing for England, scoring goals, and we were incredibly happy. Which we were. We were. We were. No, we were, you know. And obviously, you take kids out of it. Obviously, that's a given that I want to be with my kids. But at that particular time, we were three. See, that's the difference between a man and a woman. Like, a mum could never go back to a period of her life where she was pre-kids. No, but like... Where people's like, yeah, I'd go back to when we didn't have kids.

42:22I was still playing for Liverpool. We were like young and in a new relationship. Yeah, that's mega, but I don't know you could say that. I'm taking the kids out of the equation. Obviously, I couldn't live without my children now, but you put me in one year, that would be the one. Yeah, relive a year of your life. And obviously, I still work on seasons. Yeah, it's like my dad. Dad, what time was I born? Oh, well, I was watching Liverpool Burnley. So it was like an hour and a half back in the car. and when I got there, your mum was still taking ages to give birth. So it was around 10 o 'clock at night.

42:58Like how he's worked that out. So my dad based his whole life on football. On football, yes. So like, for instance, you know, people's New Year's resolutions or something would be obviously the 1st of January. Like I think the start of August there... Is your New Year's resolution. I go, we're going to have a good season this year. You know what I mean? We're in July's pre-season holiday time, whatever. August feels like the start of the year for me. Yeah. As soon as the football season, like, say, the Community Shield, I go, right, I hope we have a good year this year. I love that. In August, the start of your year.

43:32It's like a Chinese calendar. And then I'm kind of winding down in May. I'm like, oh, it's gone holiday. Yeah. It's been a tough year, this one. I live my life like that as well. Yeah, because we're so institutionalised. And also we can't make a New Year's resolution in January because it normally says we're not going to drink and it's all of our birthdays in January. Right, right, right. Oh, that sucks birthday time, doesn't it? January? Yeah, it shows. But I actually start my year in September. Oh, when the school goes? Kids go back to school. That's the start of my year. Yeah. That's fair. That's a good way of doing it.

44:12Holiday's over. Sack the booze off. So your year's starting now, basically? Yeah. Oh, actually, go some agony abs. Yeah. um hello abby pedro and gaz uh my girlfriend's finally got her certificate in sound baths oh sound baths have you ever done one of them um yeah have you i love it could you explain what they are to people who might not know so sound bath is like it's a meditation experience where you kind of immerse yourself in you know the sounds and vibrations of like the gong and it you know lowers stress anxiety reset your body uh energy shifts okay do you believe in that i do I do. I do.

44:52I like it. Holly Willoughby's big on it. And my sister did it the other day as well. Oh, really? Yeah. I'll tell you, Pete, you've not done it? I haven't, no. Okay, fair enough. No. I wonder if they do that. Yeah. Well, he's worried that whatever she's learned on the course has changed her as a person. I tried to not make her feel bad, but she started changing little things which have had a huge impact. For example, she won't say, I just met this person. She'll say, I just connected with this person. she won't say let's go out today she'll say let's explore the world anyway i need to submit her to your court for crimes against our menorah holiday one day she got a henna tattoo of her spirit animal which is a dolphin oh my god did you know a whale an orca is not a whale it's a dolphin it's the largest of a dolphin species a killer whale is a dolphin an orca it's not actually a whale it's a dolphin can someone verify there an orca is technically both it's the largest species of dolphin and dolphins are classified as toothed whales there you go there you go interesting fun fact go on and she also got told by a stranger around the pool that it really spoke to her soul day three she took 200 photos of a single plate of paila and then didn't eat it because it had gone cold during the photo shoot.

46:15Day four, and this is the kicker, she raised the glass at the end of a boozy dinner, tapped the glass many, many times and gave a toast to us, to our journey as a couple. I could see the waiters pissing themselves at the corner. I love her, I'd marry her tomorrow, but she's come back from sound bathing different and that island even more different. Will this ever wear off? Well, I think it's hard if that's a passion, but you know it's that hippy dippy they're they do have their own language but i'm into it i'm awful i like all that stuff you know grounding like walking on the grass i was thinking about grounding taking your shoes off and like feeling earth i think it's good hugging trees and stuff i haven't hugged a tree palm tree um no but i i think i think anything that can improve your mental state and well-being and lower anxiety no matter what it is and even if that does come with a few bit of quirky lingo i think it's a good thing yeah yeah i don't think you need to do you need to say connected do you need to say the words connected do you not mean like i connected with someone who say like oh i thought he was great to me yeah but you do connect with people i feel that all the time i say that but when you've just met them it's just a bit twatty isn't it yes it's a bit twatty i mean chris is right there i mean he is twatty potentially it's like it can be pretentious it is a bit pretentious maybe and i think i each to their own like do your thing that's great i just don't think you have to involve everyone in your connectivity no but you do it in other ways like even when you went out with joe and that thing that like you have to kind of you're just like i love these boys i love you know we can't just be like i want to sit out and have a drink You have to like give this whole like fucking.

48:11I do. I wanted you to tell, I wanted you to let you know that I really like these guys. Yeah, but it's like, I really like them, you know? I just, I really like their company. I'm just like, fuck off Pete. You just want to drink and sit in a pub. I do, yeah. Is that a problem? Yeah. Is it? It is. Why is that a problem? Because I missed you. People go out after work every night for a few beers, don't they? Yeah. You know, straight after work, de-stress. I had a full bag of fabric samples I was desperate to show them. Did you really? Yes, I laid them all out and then I cleaned them all away. I had your dinner.

48:45Oh, no. I got your lovely steak from the butchers, made those lovely potatoes that you like. Oh, can we do that tonight? No. I'd love to get your fabrics out tonight. You made me a dinner for once? Get your fabrics out. Get your fabrics out. I'll make dinner if you want. We'll have a look at some fabric. No, because they're all white and you're just going to say they're all the same. No, I won't. I won't. I'll enjoy it. I'll enjoy that. You're so cute, the pair of you. love the pod i've accidentally found myself in a race day jack situation but in reverse oh no it's ruining me matched with this lass a while ago and on our first date i downplayed how much i earned because i didn't want to seem like a flash harry i went uh full i'm careful with money i love a weatherspoons me type vibe she found this incredibly attractive probably now she thinks i'm skint and has planned our entire relationship around things like budget holidays splitting a starter at the restaurant.

49:37She even once said she'd be happy even if I proposed to her at Toby Carvery. I'd have built myself into a prison of thrift. I can afford Nobu. I dream of Nobu. But if I suddenly produce money now, I look like a liar, what do I do? Oh my God, reverse race day jack. That's so nice though that they love each other. And it's not based on how much they have. well that's I think that's a positive because if they connect well yeah it was definitely a positive because she loves him for who he is um but then obviously he he obviously has done well and wants to go to nice places he's gonna have to say he had a pay rise or a promotion yeah because he's limited at the moment isn't he yeah he's stuck in weber's face i've had a promotion at work i'd love to take you out for a nice dinner tonight why did he start this in the He didn't want to come across as flash.

50:33Yeah. He's absolutely had a howler there. Oh, blessed. Well, it's an interesting one. Let us know how that gets on. You should just start upgrading. I'd love to go to a Toby Calvary if I've done it. I love them. I was a fan of Wither Spoons back in the day as well. I don't think I've ever been to one. You've never been to Spoons? No. You're joking. That concept of people sending food to your table who aren't even there is so mad. Yeah, that's weird. That's a weird thing that, yeah, kids have started doing. You just say your table number on Instagram and hope people order for you to your table, like pints and things.

51:09Have you seen this? Yeah. It's really weird. Oh, John used to do it in his band when they go touring. They'd be like, they'd go to like the Wetherspoons and fans would buy them drinks. Would they? Yeah. Just order it without even being there. It's like your Amazon wish list but just for pints and, yeah, pies. Handy. Not bad. Okay, my dad has discovered AI, right? And you can't help but love it when old people use technology. I think it's a good thing and something I want to encourage so that he stays savvy in his older age. Apart from now, every family text is written by ChatTBT. You can clearly tell they use words like okay and cool, somehow spelled wrong, or just send an emoji of an animated version of him.

51:52Think how much water is he using for that? No, no, no water. Now we get dear family, I sincerely hope this message finds you well. My nan can't get her head around it and thinks Dad's been hacked. He signs off a text about the weekend's international footy with certainly a night that will live long in the memory. Warmest regards, Dad. I like that. Gotta love it. That's hilarious. I was thinking about asking ChatGPT to help me with my speech for my fundraising night for ARA, Animal Rescue Algarve. Oh, yeah. I'm not doing it now. because of this water thing. Because of the water thing. Use less AI.

52:30It really affected you. I can't believe it. I actually can't believe it. They've got to figure that out though, don't they? I don't understand how that actually can work because everyone's on AI. Every single person now is using it. But there's only so much water in the world. I don't use it. Do you not? I used it yesterday to change a bronze handle to a brass one. To see what it looked like. There you go. You can roll, baby.

52:55But it's like... I wonder if I didn't come home.

53:01Right, well... That's, yeah, phenomenal. Shall we go and use some AI? No. No, we're not going to do it. No. All right, then. Go go, all this cool. I hope you've enjoyed it. We'll see you next time.