Peter Crouch: “I Didn’t Sign Up For This” — Home Style Debate

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1:51This is absolute smut. Obligado. Hi, if you're enjoying this content, then please like and subscribe. Ask me anything. Hello, and welcome to the therapy crouch. Ask me anything with me, Avi Clancy. It's Ask Me Anything with Peter Crouch. It's Ask Me Anything with me, Gaz. It's an accent, right? What on earth was that? I don't know. I don't know. I know why you're so brown and I'm so white, because you're constantly in the sun. I'm not constantly in the sun. I am now. You're so brown. You look so good. Thanks, babe. I love your long hair as well. You're super brown. He's hanging on for dear life.

2:37I thought I'd grow my hair a little bit and see where it went. So I don't know what... Be all down your back. Not on your hair. How long do you want it to go? I don't know. I haven't had a haircut for a long time. I don't know, like, you know, people are thinking maybe I'm just a bit shabby. No, it's not. But I'm just going to go for it. Yeah. See where we go with it, you know. That's cool. I love it. It suits you. It does suit you. Oh, thanks. It does. It's better than the short hair, I think, yeah. It's nice. I think it looks better than the short hair as well. Yeah, like the crew cuts kind of out of fashion now, I think.

3:08I like long hair though, in men. Well, you know, I'm going to go, you said you liked it and I thought, oh, I can give that a go. That's why you just do pretending that you're You're doing all this for me. I do everything for you. Bloody midlife crisis. Everything I do is for you. My being on this planet is to make you happy. You're such a... It is. It is. Okay, I remind you, that when I give you the bill for the new bathrooms and the new house. Certain things that make me happy as well, that I do for myself. But most of it is for you. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Thank you. All right, babe.

3:42So cute. Ask me some questions and stop attending to the nation that you're really nice to me. Louise from Wrexham says, so we've had a new kitchen fitted. I love it. What's it like? Well, the husband asked what colour I wanted it painted. Without hesitation, I said bone. Bone. He paused and looked at me and eventually said, the only kind of bone I like. The paint colour. That's a zinger. That's not ideal, is it?

4:13Harsh. but... Ashford True. You used to like phone. What the fuck's up with you? I'm sewing up. That's not fucking... Do you know what I mean, babe? Babe, it was a joke. Don't get so offended. It's not. I didn't sign up for no phone. Are you actually going to say that to me? Well, I didn't sign up for it. That's what I'm saying. When you're with someone for a certain amount of time, it should be in the marriage certificate. Yeah. This is to a death do us part. I think... Another section should be that. So are you calling me a fridge? No. Well, there you go then. Make it out that I'm some kind of old husband.

5:03You're a lady in the street with a freak in the bed. The best kind. Ludacris said it so well. anyway bone is apparently a paint colour if you didn't know guys okay Abbey's anything that I say every house we looked at right when we were looking at houses she'll walk in and go do you know what this could be nice all you've got to do here is just paint everything bone and I let it go for so many times just go next place yeah but if you just did that you just paint that bone I'm painting it all bone so I've got a blank canvas and then I can see what it's but for the explanation for her husband in Wrexham, what is the definition of bone?

5:44It's like... It's like a chalky, cool off-white. It's not beige. It's not magnolia. It's not cream. It's like a... It's a very, very good neutral, which still gives warmth, but there's no warmth in the tone. Okay. Does that make sense? She started to explain it with something that lines of natural, no yellow, no pink or pink tone. Do you know, Martin, My dear friend, Andrew Martin, the most incredible interior designer and furniture designer. He's just a genius in my eyes, and I absolutely love him to death. He's one of my very, very dear friends. Him and I were discussing, and Joe, our interior designer, we were talking for about two hours about bone paint colours.

6:31For two hours? We had about 50 shades of bone. The sequel. sorry i actually didn't mean that actually didn't mean that but we did and we were testing them all in different lights daylight a warm light bulb because it's different on every single wall well her question is she she's tried to kind of tell him what it is educate him and her question is abby what actual make or shade of bone paint would you recommend because i don't want to completely embarrass myself in front of the kitchen people i like portland stone 155 portland pale Portland Pale 155 great oh my god numbers as well really good one slipper satin is a nice one but that's that's Farron Ball so the first one is um little green Farron Ball slipper satin is nice um boa boa white I think it's called it's quite nice Wimborne white Farron Ball is nice but it's a little bit more yellow I thought you played for West Ham that's unbelievable this is unbelievable your knowledge on this I know my bones.

7:35Don't you worry about that. She certainly does. She knows her bones. She certainly does. Well, fair play. I think that's good info. So just, I mean, you know, just one of those, really. Any of them? Yeah. Brilliant. Paul and Pale is what my house is. Paul and Pale 155. Nice one. And they have families of bone as well. So in different shades. So if you wanted to do a wall one colour with the doors slightly darker in a contrast, slightly contrasting shade, but a little bit deeper or whatever. Double bone. It's the same shade. Deeper double boning. Jesus Christ. You may mock me, my little boyfriend.

8:18I did have an interior show on TV, by the way. You did, you did. You know your shit, mate. It's a good show as well. I watched it. It was a great show. Gaz was like, oh my God, Abby, you're exactly the same on the interior show than you are on the pod. I'm like, this is not an act, sister. This is just me. Gaz is a big fan of the series. I am as well. When's that coming back? I need to ask Sally, my producer. We need to bring that back. That was a great show. I loved it as well. And it come in really handy now I'm doing up my new house. I can get some little bits of tips. Would you interview yourself and do like, you know, look at my bone living room?

8:58Well, my living room's not going to be bone. Is it not? it's going to be a gold floral wallpaper no see I don't get involved in the design too much there's the little things that I like and I've suggested we could do but that living room for me I'm not having it as in I do not like the colour you picked so you're saying we're not having it or you're not into it I'm not that bothered but it's not what I would I would strongly disagree with that decision. So this house, I wanted to have a room where Pete and I could sit, which is a modern take on a formal lounge because, you know, the bones of the house, it's, you know, it's a period property, so it's already got it, you know, as blank canvas, it's already got it.

9:52but I wanted to create like a really snug adult room that was cozy. The room's beautiful. Cozy and homely and not too precious. Like where you go and you're like, oh, I'm scared to sit here. I want to just like live in there and get the fire on. You know, I've always wanted a real fire. Like get the fire on, sit there. We can just have a little glass of red, chat about our day. That sounds nice. I'm having the wallpaper. but you've got like no choice. I kind of gathered that, but I just want to... Can I just say... I just want to say on record, I do not like the colour of that one you've picked.

10:32But you will, honestly. But you will. You will. No, you'll go... Actually, it's... I love it. I promise. I promise. I believe in you. Good. Pete, what would you pick if you were picking it yourself? Probably Bone.

10:50155 Winston Bone it's a great one I've heard that's the best you can have actually no it's Portland Pail just see if you go Winston Bone you're totally fine yeah but it's like it's just like when you're like taking me around that bloody these all new these new bloody golf clubs that you you're um joining and I just see like a field with a sandpit and he's like oh but look at it look at it but there's fields and there's fields and I'm like there's shades of white and there's shades of white there's bone you know it's the same thing there's shades of power grass there's shades of bent grass exactly you can get into that one if you like as well it's your passion that's your passion this is my passion but for some reason my passion gets labelled as high maintenance and it's not no no it's just what I like yeah listen I'm with you it's high maintenance to maintain my golf club to the level it is clubs it's high maintenance clubs plural I tell you what this wallpaper wouldn't even cost one percent of your golf club so don't you worry about that so how much enjoyment do you get I get enjoyment out of it on a weekly basis every day we'll be sitting in there like someone said to me recently like my friend wouldn't have got divorced if she got her dream house Really?

12:15Is it that much? Yeah. It's how much it matters. What did someone say to you recently? They said to me recently, like, you kind of do up a house. It doesn't matter what you've got in your house. You're still just in your house. So if you've got a house worth 10 million or 1 million, after a while, you're just in your house. That's true. It's not just in your house. Your house is just sanctuary. Your house is just safe place. Your house is where you spend the majority of your life and it needs to be a happy, safe, comfortable place where you make all your memories. It's not just a house. Well, that's the same as, you know, like we talked about getting a new bed and stuff.

13:00And they said the bed prices are pretty outrageous, really. But you do spend, you know, almost half of your life in it. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So if you're ever going to make a big purchase, It should be your bed. It should be your bed. I've never thought of that. Hours and hours and hours a day. Hours and hours. Yeah. If you think about all the rooms in your house. It's Vice Spring or Simba for me. Vice Spring or Simba. Bed manufacturers, are they? Mattresses. Mattresses. Okay. Amazing. And your pillows. Do you have to keep the Simba? Your pillows. What were they in there?

13:31I had the best night's sleep of all time. They were good pillows, those. They are. Do you know them? Hungarian goose. Hungarian goose. Oh, my God. It's the only goose. Oh, my God. That you need. The cameraman and I have been talking all day about it. We're just obsessed with the pillows. Hungarian goose. Look, I'm like a hotel in here. I will do a stock check before you leave. Is there any of them in the suitcase? A couple of Hungarian gooses in the trunk. Sick boy's been hugging his all week. Have you ever stole anything from a hotel room? I think the slippers are fair game, aren't they? And, you know, the dressing gowns, you definitely get charged for them, don't you?

14:08They've gone before.

14:15That's amazing. I appreciate that. Yeah, okay. So guys, this seems like a perfect time to hear from our sponsors. And if you're liking what you're hearing, like and subscribe.

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15:24Okay, well, Jordan says, Hi, guys. Great pod as always. I've been a listener from day one, and relaxing to your episodes is my sanctuary. I was just listening to your... Is it fun this relaxing? It's fun as a lot of people do. Do they? Yeah. I was just listening to a recent episode regarding your 15-year wedding anniversary plans. And just like you, my wife and I are celebrating our 15-year wedding anniversary next June. Oh, congrats. We got married when we were 21. Oh my God, it's 15 for us in June. Is it? It's your glass. We talked about it. Yeah, it's your glass slash crystal, I believe. It's one of the two.

15:59Extension.

16:03We got married when we were 21 and couldn't afford a proper honeymoon. However, next year our kids will be 16 and 14, so it'd be nice to celebrate our 15 years with just the two of us. Oh, that'd be amazing. Unfortunately, we can't quite afford Las Vegas. Do you have any ideas I could surprise my wife with? When is it? June? June. What about going to one of the most incredible Greek islands? If anyone knows about budget holidays, it's my dad, because he's tight as a duck's arse. but he loves to travel and he goes to amazing places and he finds a huge street yeah great locations like incredible food and he loves Greece I think Greece would be that's one of his favourites isn't it yeah I think Greece would be an incredible trip I think it's great I think Greece in general like the islands are amazing as well but it's also some amazing places mainland we talked about the food didn't we we did recently Oh, we're going in August, don't we?

17:04It's our favourite place. The water is absolutely stunning as well. You know, like the water, isn't it? It's beautiful, actually. It's stunning out there. If you were going to say, don't go to the main drag, like the main Santorini, Mykonos, where would you say it is kind of left field? Kalamata. Kalamata, okay. It's just incredible. So Kalamata is, you fly into Kalamata. Yeah, because you fly to Athens, two and a half hours from Athens. Oh, is it? Out on the coast, it's mainland. It's mainland, but it's on the coast, but the water is crystal clear. There's the most incredible, like family run restaurants that have been in generations.

17:39And it's like a little old deer in the kitchen bringing out all these prawns and Greek salads. And it's just mega. And there's an amazing little strip, isn't there? With like ice cream shops and bars. And it's very, very wholesome and very, very, very family. And it is, you know, it's not boring. It's, you know, it's busy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds mega. Yeah. Oh, my God. Very nice. Yeah, perfect. Great advice. Good advice, babe. Hi, guys. Avid listener to the pod. The question is more for Pete. The email has come in about my recent trip back to my childhood home where I found that my mam had taken a load of my belongings down from the loft for me to go through.

18:20After looking through many things, I came across a collection of Powerpods micro-style figures. Do you remember them? Yeah. Powerpods. Grab a Powerpod. The little, like these ones. I got Jack those for Christmas. Yeah. Well, Santa got them. Oh, really? Well, he's got the whole Liverpool team. Did you? Great gift, that. Well, he says, having gone through them, many different players I've collected over the years, I came to find not one, but two Peter Crouch figures. Oh, my God. Please, can he send us one for our son? Oh, my God. Let me see. One's playing for Villa and the other Liverpool. Definitely Liverpool, please.

18:52Firstly, do you remember these coming out? And secondly, what's your favourite piece of memorabilia from your playing days? they're the two of me are they you? the likeness is uncanny uncanny we'll get it up on the screen for visual they're me yeah that's not you you've got bloody black curly hair and brown eyes that's what's written on it that one looks slightly more like you he looks a bit like Gareth Barry on the right they've got a lot of a lot of players it does look like Gareth Barry it looks like Gareth Barry in Harry Kane I guess that would be you're the fusion I suppose yeah my little boy wants them you know I've started resorted to like getting cards of me because he's really into his cards oh yeah yeah yeah resorted to buying them on ebay oh yeah because he wants me like collectible cards yeah he swapped me assigned me for a Cristiano Ronaldo the other day really yeah and I was like well I'm done he swapped you for what he swapped me for Cristiano wow he had two of me he had duplicates I said good swapping I wouldn't swap you for Cristiano thanks I appreciate that I know you've got a bit of a thing about that this is so weird you would I reckon I actually wouldn't I don't fancy Cristiano Ronaldo I respect him you respect him he's a winner you don't respect me no I don't I tell you what you'd let him have a fucking bone living room I wouldn't Not a yellow one.

20:26It's not yellow, it's gold. It's mustard. It's mustard. Mustard. There you go. Who fucking paints a room mustard these days? It's not... Apart from the kernel. I'm not painting the walls. Mustard. It's a hand-painted floral wallpaper. Like golden mustard or like ketchup mustard. Okay, cool. That's nice. That sounds nice. Does it? Yeah. Golden mustard. Oh, my God. Mustard. Well, yeah. I'll have to see it in situ I'll show you I'll show you it's lovely we'll have a look but to finish this question your favourite piece from your playing days memorabilia FA Cup winners medal yeah what did you find the other day main and caps yeah my first programme that I played professional football I've got a ticket from a Champions League final hat-trick balls nice of course yeah huge yeah that's lovely my biggest trophy is my wife oh you guys such a snob everything is laced at sarcasm that comes out it's literally the biggest the best thing i've ever achieved

21:40that's such a like a weird thing that you keep doing lately i like it's like obviously because it's like a belly. I love it. I love it. Okay, we've got time for it. I say one more. Shake. My belly. That's the weirdest thing. That's horrible. I like your belly. Get away. That's nice. All right, let's move on. Jack says, Hi, two-meets of Peter, the Norwich City legend, and Abbey. I hope you're both well. In regards to the family. He sounds like the afterbirth then. Yeah. And Abbey. And you. Absolutely love the pod. I just caught the episode with Peter Andre and I thought I'd mention that my sister went to her prom in the actual Peter Andre car from Inbetweeners.

22:21Wow, that's amazing. Rented from a man in Mildenhall. The show famously featured a Tinky Tento Hawaii car as a present for Simon from his parents for passing his driving test. Can you guys remember the first car you learned to drive in? There's a picture of them there, look. In the actual Peter Andre car. I want to get close to you. I want to get close to you. That's amazing. Do you remember your first car? Yeah. Do you remember what you learnt in and what you got? I don't remember what I learnt in, but I remember being taught by a serial killer. Do you remember? What? Yeah. My driving instructor, I did like a crash course, and we'd drive around all these like country lanes in Chesh, and he'd be like, I could kill you now, and no one would know.

23:04You are joking. And I was like. You did say that, yeah. I had to call him. Really? Yeah. And we used to go to Tesco Cafe to get like a sausage putty for like on our break. It's like six hours of driving. And she did a crash course. Oh, okay. All right. And one day I like forgot my purse. It was no Apple Pay and all that in those days. Yeah. And I said, can you let, do you mind? Bear in mind, I was seeing him all week. Yeah. I was like, can you lend me? It was about two quid then for a sausage frutty. And I was like, can you lend me one? He was like, no. You're joking. So I like starve. And then he ate his in front of her.

23:40What the hell? What is this? madness that is a madness so I was traumatised and I passed my test to a Britain's Next Top Model fan and she was just like oh my god she was just like so what was it like on the show turn right here and I was like turning left and I was like pass she came back and bear in mind I've been in the car with her as well and she said I've passed I said really really supportive as always the girl was like oh my god so what was she like what was she like she was lovely yeah so my first car was a mini mini cooper convertible gorgeous car i loved it and but i i love the new car i've got the tego the cherry it's like it's like being in a spaceship it's amazingly we did we did the advert didn't we oh yes yes i absolutely love the car it's just amazing it's got like a laptop in it like a huge big screen it's like it's like being in a range It's a spaceship.

24:43It's amazing. Super spacious inside, is it? Yeah, nice one. Seven seater. Bosch. Banging. Bosch. Hybrid. Get on you, hybrid. Hybrid. I don't even know what that means. I've never used the brid part. No, no, no. Just the high. Petrol in it. That's good. I remember learning in a Peugeot 106 gold one. Oh, okay. That's what I learned in. Peugeot 106, barely fit in it. your first car you wouldn't believe what is first car it was a it was a tropical green Volkswagen Polo Polo the three doves oh no okay it was the yeah it was a green one because it was cheaper because no one wanted it you know like those tropical ice pops you know that green it's like almost turquoise oh my god yes yeah yeah yeah that green one of those what possessed you for the colour choice it was a really good car and no one wanted that colour yeah okay so far well that's fine for me and then I just got the got the rims on it got the radio yeah got like a radio where you press the button it went you put the tape in oh yeah I remember those amazing so I was like clean and then you just press the button I was like lads get on this straight in garage tape twice as nice when he got like his first football paycheck he said I'm going to upgrade and he got himself a Renault Megane convertible and his dad was like you're so flash now who are you he told me I was flash I had to take it back and I got the coupe really yeah because I thought the convertible was too flash was it too flash the red hello McGann the red did you have silver with a navy hood I did that's exactly what I went for but that was only when because I had a black one coupe because I thought it was too flash and then I won player of the year that year at QPR and I went back in and got got the soft top oh nice well deserved I deserved it yeah I love I love those cars.

26:38Yeah. I always wanted a Beetle convertible. They're nice. And I always wanted a Ford Ka convertible. I had one of those. It was a curtsy car. Did you? A red one. The convertible? Ford Ka. I remember going on a date with a guy who had a Ford Puma. I remember you said he would give you the ick, didn't it? We went to the restaurant and I went to the loo and just ditched him. Did you? Just a ditch? Just a straight ditch. A dash out? It's a hairdresser's car. You know, it's completely fine for a girl, but it wasn't for it. It didn't fit the guy, yeah. I thought you don't see a lad in those, what are those Citroëns?

27:15What are those Citroëns that Carys has got? Oh, yeah. Fiat or something. Fiat 500. Yeah, oh my gosh, yeah. It shouldn't be a lad in it. I love them. Yeah, they're good for girls' cars. That's a girl's car? Yeah, it was quite popular. Yeah, I remember at school, yeah, all the girls were getting them. Yeah, yeah. Nippy little things. The cars, not the girls. Anyway. When the roof was down. Oh God Smutness Absolute smut Well listen You know I've really enjoyed that today So bad I am starving At our desperate for the toilet So We're going to wrap it up Pete we have to keep Some things private You know See you next time If you're sore Listen to this Trevor Thanks Ask me anything Trevor

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