“Rooney Threw His Drink On Me!” - Abbey’s Hilarious Childhood Story & Liverpool Dressing Room Tales

0:00Gargi, who are we playing today? He goes, ah, Moda Gambi. Moda Gambi. One of my icons, Sheree Murphy. And then he'd be like, oh my God. Oh my God. Are you joking me? That's it. Okay, so what do we need? Well, we need people to subscribe because obviously we're making this top quality content. And I do hate these little bits where everyone goes, oh, please subscribe. We really need it. But it just does make a difference. So if you like it, then please hit the button. Yeah, like, link, and subscribe. You can never say that. It's great. Like, link, and subscribe. That's staying in. Hello, and welcome to The Therapy Crouch with me, Abby Clancy.

0:41And me, Peter Crouch. How are we, gang? What's going on? Well, yeah, I went to the Fashion Awards last week. Before we talk about the Fashion Awards, I'm quite disappointed you've taken that tash off me. Tash, yeah. Oh, my God. I thought we'd want to keep it on. I thought you looked different. You did. It's the first thing I saw. When did you take that off? I just noticed it. Just now. Why? oh the Tom Selleck vibes gone well you liked it didn't you I loved it it felt like it was getting on your wick a little bit like last night I think you were just in a foul mood last night I was in a foul mood no you were in that like I think even everything was annoying me about you know everything yeah so the tash was like you need to get that off now yeah I think you said something like it's such bacteria innit did I yeah you did yeah you know what you got rid of it but I will say you got that pretty like quick for you you could grow that back in two weeks yeah yeah no like you know it's not all off that's longer than what you yeah exactly I just trimmed it it did suit you me on all you're going to say that could be a little bit of luck for you thank you I like it B well maybe I'll just can we do a poll or something on the socials yeah we can we can Tash or no Tash I love the socials you know what that is yeah well the boys know I was laughing my head off last night because I was obviously I was laughing my head off because it was at the fashion awards and I was so ill I couldn't go mmm and Pete went and I was missing him because I was in bed feeling sorry for myself and I was like Pete what are you doing and he was like believe it or not I'm just doing a little get ready with me

2:10the fact of Cardi P going to the fashionable I thought you wanted to do I'm doing a get ready with me is a great great thought absolute role reversal to be listen I went with the people like at Debenhams right who looked after me got a great great suit the suit was amazing felt like it's lovely really nice suit and um yeah like I did the Christmas ad with them and stuff and they wanted to take me and I obviously went but it was weird going without you but they were lovely and I was like because they were loving it they were loving it as we all were but loving it without me no like I felt awkward being there without you because it's your vibe you know there's a lot of fashionistas I was just sitting in bed like an absolute pig in my fleece dressing gown like snotty and ugly as sin like looking at all these babes on the red carpet like fuming fuming but he was on tracking daddy on that after what time are you home daddy has left the flash number daddy is perving daddy's perving at the flash number were you perving at the flash number no I was not that's such a swear on my life then a swear on your life my weekly whine is Peter Crouch decides to bring the whole of the golf club back to our house when they get chucked out of the clubhouse you know when I was just about to go to bed We've had this before.

3:28You know, but I've told them. It's a tale as old as time. Tale as old as time. I've told Nick, I've told Ollie, told the others, stop coming to my house because you're not invited. So then, but I love them all. So then I'm like, oh, go on then. Did you get involved? Yeah, go on. You can't do it. The worst one. She's the worst. She goes, I can't believe you've done this again. Shampoo. Pop, where's that man of the match to me? Because I thank God the fridge was fully loaded. so she'd obviously stocked it for us knowing exactly what we're going to do I love your fridge it was stocked for Christmas was it?

4:03God your fridge I thought it was fully loaded it's empty now well yeah we were big which leads me neatly onto my weekly one please do where obviously we went pretty heavy you know as we do it was a great was this Friday? yeah kitchen party okay but then Saturday obviously like I actually didn't have a game because I did the Palace Manchester United game on a Sunday which is they gave Palace an extra day so they played the game on a Sunday so Saturday I was quite free which is amazing for me because I'm I can get to Jack's football and I can do Sophia at a tennis tournament which is amazing and I love doing that but I did and I'm not allowed I wanted to go to the tennis tournament but Sophia doesn't let me yeah that's okay sometimes you can be a bit unbalanced while you're parents watching I love it I absolutely love doing that but I was slightly hungover but what I went what I did realise it was pissing down rain the wind was coming in sideways and I stood on a field between 9 and 5pm.

4:57Oh. And I was so happy because Johnny and Liv That's a long with a hand up. The kids had a play date and didn't come home till 8. So I'm ringing her. What are you up to? No answer. The whole day. I just had What was she up to? Lady of leisure. Lounging around like frigging Lady Penelope on the bed. No, I had I wrapped some Christmas presents and I watched about 19 hours of Real Housewives of New York. Oh, nice. Okay. Because I was dying. Do you know what? It's a good day sometimes, though, isn't it? Peter, you can't be too mad because... I was lonely. Did you miss me? Because we never, ever have, like, the kids away from us on the weekend.

5:40Like, they're always just with us. So it was like, I missed you because I was like... And then I was fuming because I was a Chinese and you brought a McDonald's home. There's not a more this point. So I had both. Is that when you feel like, did you have both? That's not a year. I had a Big Mac and then I had duck and pancakes shumai sweet and sour chicken and a soup one after the other I was having like I made egg duck soup chicken and sweet corn soup last night have you ever heard of a hangover day than that like lounging around in bed kind of watching whatever you want on telly for ages drifting in and out well gobshawkshaw nine till five you've got to stream the bed a Big Mac and then a Chinese that's a great day to be honest So, P, I have never, ever, you can vouch for this in my life, done that, have I?

6:25No, but it's a nice day. I think that's actually a nice day sometimes. And also, Peter, I would like to kind of just caveat that on your weekly mind. As a professional footballer, I can guarantee your nearest and dearest have spent nine till five on the pitch on a Sunday in the pissing down rain watching you play. Well, it's normally me, does it? It comes back round. Do you know what I mean? You can't like it too much. That's my weekend. Every weekend, normally. I'm saying you can't moan too much because people have done that for him. I have to get up, do Jack, then do Sophia. while you're sitting there chatting shit with all your mates in the studio.

6:54Yeah, she's actually crying back on as well. Nailed it. Absolutely nailed it. Oh, class. No, it was a bit of a scary weekend because my little puppy was ill. Oh no, the new one? Yeah. Yeah. What's up with him? He just, he was sick and then had a bit of a runny bum and then he just went... Runny bum. And then he just really went downhill. and obviously all this always happens on a Sunday and I was going to work getting picked up for filming at 2pm so I had to find an out of hours vet which are incredible vets now so we had to spend the night in the vet and then we had to pick him up Monday at 7 o 'clock in the morning take him to my other vet it was just so scary How's Liberty?

7:38Is she okay? She's okay but he's absolutely fine now Yeah but it's just something to be aware of like the vet was saying like I did the right thing you know if you've anyone's got a little pup at home if they're super duper duper duper quiet get them to the vet straight away I think this time of year as well like chocolate is really bad for puppies and as I said like you've got fruits hanging around the house and stuff like that like you said the glucose levels like it just happens you can take their eye off for a second and it's like the intake weight ratio you know like a big lab could you know have a tiny square of chocolate and not die but if a tiny little pup could have a square of chocolate and it would kill it because of the pregnancy for their size the thing is any kind of little even a little virus or something it's going to knock him out but it's like if you've got a newborn baby I'm just going to say that yeah he's only tiny isn't he but also you need to be that extra careful and cautious just because the immune system's not there or whatever listen he's fine now is he still sleeping in the bed that you have no he sleeps with a lib oh that's cute that's cute do you see the other little dogs like looking because I've trained them within an inch of their lives yeah very they sit at the bottom of the stairs just looking at the little ones running up the stairs outrageous okay i'm gonna get in some audience wines uh hi everyone first off love the pod i actually wrote in to say i listen to the pod every time i'm in the car including on my way into work i'm a teacher and i did a short stint working in a school in warrington my mentor was scouse some of the kids were scouse and so was their teacher working there gave me the odd scourge twinge like saying fav fav for the number five five like that fav fav fav you sound like you're from freaking Yorkshire what did you say what did you say five five my kids take the pee out to me don't they did you hear Jack this morning skew yeah I went come on kids get ready for school and Jack went skew

9:37okay did you say skew no skew I don't say skewl no I don't say skewl skewl skewl I'm not saying skew skewl skewl I say school like a normal person what do you say? skewl skewl yeah well you're from the same place but people do say that you have a Scouse twang on this part I know I know but will I'm around you but I don't hear that at all do you I don't hear that whatsoever no you wouldn't would you you're like posh to me not posh but what I would the class is posh well I'm posh to Scouses yeah you are and everyone thinks I'm commoners more I go cinema and I go, mum, shall I take cinema? And she goes, cinema?

10:13Do you mean the fucking pictures? Yeah, you can take it. Do you mean the showcase? The showcase. Do you remember the showcase? I do. I've been driving past that loads. Is that near like... To the East Lanks? Yeah, is it like... Crocky ways. But I'm thinking like where I would go past. I used to go to the showcase of Wayne Rooney's. Would I go past the town to Anfield? To Anfield, that's what I mean, yeah. Because we used to drive past it on the bus. To the East Lanks? Yeah, you would have, yeah. And I'll remember going to... Because I remember you saying you went to the showcase. Do you remember Wayne when he was a little boy threw a Coke at me?

10:44Yeah. Has he ever told you that? Story he has. I think he's sitting and saying something. Yeah, Wayne Rooney. What? Outside the showcase where you go and he threw like a... He threw a... A McDonald's Coke at us. You must have been your age. Oh yeah, I was a little girl. Oh, certainly. Yeah. Yeah, anyway. Good times. We'll have a word with Wayne about that. I think he called me a slag as well.

11:11that doesn't sound like way i was like eight i was like 10 years old yeah do you watch the polar express

11:32anyway getting back to it i'm now working at school close to manchester no one here at scouse however when i start to feel frustrated or tell the kids off i find myself turning fully scouts with are you joking me are you joking me oh my god i thought are you joking me are you joking me are you joking are you messing we just we did some filming the other day and i had we did this sketch where it was like a prank and I had to scream at the guy and everyone was petrified, the Scouse. I was like, you're lying to me. Why are you lying? Even that, it's good. Even the eyes were good there. I don't want to be scary.

12:19It helps that way, doesn't it? You need it, I mean a bit. Very often the kids have asked me if I'm Scouse and that's my opportunity to start spinning a whole web of liars around who I am and where I'm from. So some kids think I'm Manx, some think I'm Scouse and some assume I'm from Yorkshire what they don't know is I'm none of those it's more of a mix of Yorkshire and Bolton as my mum grew up in Yorkshire and still has her drawl and I've lived in Bolton my whole life so Abby your Scouse accent has found itself in my classroom one too many times and it's a belter every time time how do you say time?

12:57time time I don't Scouse would say time time yeah but I'd say time She spelt it T-A-A-H-H-M. Like the phonetic way of saying it. Time. Cheers. Missing on. Oh, that's nice. I had, so I worked in Spanish, you know, like as an English teacher for a couple of years. And one of my, like, I had that thing as well. Like my kids, who had never spoken English before, I'd taught them words like boss or tarar or whatever. And like, they'd walk past and go, tararce. But were they Spanish kids? Yeah, Spanish kids, like full-blown Spanish kids. They'd be like, hello, Ros, can we go? Tararla. like you know what I mean Ross I don't like this this is Boston you know it's so great it's just little phrases not all those things but little words do you know what I used to love because when we were in the change room at like Liverpool especially all the Spanish lads and stuff like when you hear them sometimes like they get a twine it's like Diddy Amann yeah exactly like Diddy's full German skills he's like yeah but they're learning Spanish through a lot of the time what we're saying so they're using like and a football dressing room especially is probably not the place for a location.

14:07So there's people from everywhere. And like you've got Northern, you know, obviously Cara and then you've got like close from Cockneys, people from Yorkshire. And their mix of the English language is hilarious. I remember Pepe Reina, some of the things he used to say we just used to, absolutely. I remember playing with Bojan and we had Morecambe away and he said, who we played today? Gracie who we played today? He goes Ah Mordicambi Mordicambi I showed him He went Ah Mordicambi That's so good That's like Albarone Gracie where the buzz is Mordicambi Mordicambi That's so funny I've never heard that one Gracie that's great That's great Ever since then I swear Anytime I ever see Mordicambi it's more the combi Miku Wabe that's like the same Miku Wabe it's one of them I love Tom Babe it's so funny but you know what the lads they're so good like they're so like they'll have a go at anything you know like they're having a go at the language and as a teammate you just respect it so much that they're trying their best to fit in with the lads and it's the same the other way I think when you look at I think it was like Jonathan Woodgate and Steven Mannerman and they got so much more respect for trying to learn the language you know and eventually like doing it because a lot of english will go there and just expect people to speak english to them i think if you actually go and you try then glenn's fluent as well yeah but you know like the the did the i think the fans really kind of colleen and wayne's that was one of the things that why colleen and wayne's kit um kids are fluent in spanish as well wow yeah yeah well yeah it's it's incredible it is right though as well if you are playing or working or whatever in another country I do think you should try and assimilate really but that football gesture was so funny like with Glenn I remember him saying to me I'm going to learn Spanish right and I thought here we go yeah well done and then all of a sudden he was like laughing and joking with like all the Spanish lads in the changing room good on fair play it's a certain brain isn't it yeah I think it is to be honest with you people are telling you that anyone can learn anything which is true to a degree but I think it's the same as some people are more inclined to be artistic or drawing or guitar playing or whatever and some people are more inclined towards language i do think that is the case to be honest hey guys loving the pod never missed a show it just gets better and better um you were talking about married names and i could not tell you about my daughter who recently got married in august her name is tilly and her husband's surname is tilly with an ey ah after discussing and pondering what to do she decided on taking his surname so now she has the best married name ever her name is Miss Tilly Tilly that's cute that's amazing you can catch them on YouTube the Tillys the vlog and the travels keep up the good work and don't change anything you don't know how much we all relate to us to the stuff that goes on in your relationship Clint God Tilly Tilly I remember when I was a kid my mum was mate Mark you're aware of he had his boyfriend his surname was Ross and I didn't realise when I was a young lad like I didn't have any idea about that type of stuff and then I just thought that my mum's mate she was going to get married to him and I was going to be called Ross Ross and I remember like crying in my eyes I'd sobbing being like I don't want to be Ross Ross and then she married someone who's his name as fucking Moss and then I was like John Moss Ross Moss it's fucking worse oh my god Ross Moss I think Ross Ross is better than Ross Moss I agree I agree Ross Moss I agree that's boss Ross Moss but you wouldn't be called Ross Moss I know I know Pitt is the Pitt's worse None of the options are good it's Cunningham's Pitt or fucking Moss Ross Moss Ross Pith I don't think Pitt's bad I don't know like just you're getting caught up in the armpits scenario I think it's good I'm getting all used with the sess in the arms No I do I do like Brad carries it off right he does carry it off Courtney I played with Courtney Pitt who's a great lad Courtney Pitt Courtney you've got Pitt the Prime Ministers two Prime Ministers called Pitt Pitt the Elder Pitt the Younger bit of a lot guys if you like and what you're listening to hit that subscribe button because it really helps us and it's nearly 2026 and we want to get bigger and better so show us some love by hitting that button okay should we should we end this weekly wine section on a weekly shine mm-hmm um I'm eight months pregnant and while I've been feeling so blessed and lucky to becoming a mum I've had some really challenging circumstances with my boss the last three months I work at a nursery setting which has really depleted my mental health and felt really desperate it would yeah it would and lost at certain points i save your podcast my day off at the weekend it genuinely brings up my mood makes me laugh so hard and i see the light at the end of the tunnel uh two weeks till maternity leave thank you my boyfriend and i are having a boy when abby said she used to sing john lennon beautiful boy to the boys i played it as soon as we found out but we're struggling with the name My boyfriend is a Chelsea supporter and wants our son to be called Cole.

19:25And while I like the name and rolls off the tongue with his surname, myself and my family are Liverpool supporters and I feel my family will genuinely disown me. My question is, did you name any of your children after anyone, football related or not? And did you struggle to agree on names? Abby, I think you're absolutely gorgeous and such an inspirational woman. Peter, I have to confess, you are the first footballer I ever fancied. Cue Abby now hating my guts. if anything I think you have great taste but two of you are a stunning couple love the podcast and I love hearing the Scouse accent from Abbey and Ross when I mention the Liverpool slang to my amazing stepdad who's from Liverpool he says bloody hell I haven't heard that in years big hugs from Rose oh we loved playing the name game didn't we you know my dad's obviously a massive Chelsea fan I don't know if a million people know this but I talk about Chelsea names I was Peter after Peter Osgood really who scored in the 70s in the cup final but your mum's brother is also called Peter yeah but so he probably made that yeah it's a bit of both yeah that was my dad's hero and I got I actually he was in the lounge at Southampton before he passed away Peter Osgood my dad got to meet him wow well I got mad and I'm actually presenting it that's amazing that means yeah but oh Peter well-made yeah so that was one thing I don't think the Cole I think Cole's a good name I think Cole's that's the only thing I would say about that name in particular it's acceptable call I think I also think like if you're and he'll probably go to Liverpool one day yeah he's probably getting good enough now

21:01did you see did you see that thing that I sent you about what's his name the one I love Foden Foden doing that with the ball and getting Jack was like I want to do that with my dad I want to do that some of the little of technique thing I don't know if he's posting more or something and like he's doing skills because I saw another one with the three poles which was really good where he's got a defender trying to get the ball of him and he's just got so but say you've got three poles here and then you go around here the defenders come around here you've got to turn really quickly and get around the other way and then it's like that and you've just got to keep turning but it just keeps you quick and thinking on your feet making a decision you've got to be aware of the defender and the ball it's a really good drill so I was in a full Phil Foden hole last night because Jack was...

21:47Interesting. Could have been worse. He could have been a full-out because... Shut up. I'm old enough to be his mom. Could have been worse. I'm old enough to be his mother. Thank you. No, because Jack wanted to see more clips of him doing skills. And I've seen videos of him when he was like 14 years old. Unreal. I've seen those. Yeah. He's amazing. He's just... You say it's natural, but he's just always got a ball at his feet. I remember... He's my favourite player. Yeah, I know. You're a big fan of Phil Foden. I love him. I love his face. He looks like he should, he looks like a Clancy. Yeah, he does.

22:21Yeah, he's all done. Well, they thought our John wasn't, our John went into Celine and they thought he was Phil Foden and came and like sat him down and give him champagne and everything. I've actually been with John when he had his long hair and his ponytail and then he thought it was Andy Carroll. Yeah. And it was like me, it was just me and John out. It was like Peter Crouch and Andy Carroll having lunch and we just didn't say anything. Anything. That's close. Everyone's coming over for pictures. The thing is, when they thought our John was Foden, our John's six foot four, Foden's tiny little dot.

22:55Yeah. But he did go in a full football kit. Foden's not walking around a football kit when he's not on the pitch. I know, I know. That is true. Linking back to the man himself. Okay, baby names. Can I just say, Peter, one thing this reminds me of is when Rodney's on the aisle and they do Rodney, Charlton, Trotter and it's like, because Charlton won the cup or something. so like that's a bit of a gamble you've always got to play from as well Bobby Charlton I think it's great having football names there's some good football names out there you forget how big football is in some people's lives don't you like no people get mad at the football brands people get gay no but like it is a nice reason as well but it's only like calling you after like a film star yeah well I said you know when Origi scored the Champions League final we called it Divock yeah yeah yeah we said that about Divrat Divrat wasn't it after the curry house you could have called him Jürgen yeah what do you mean Jürgen Jürgen Jürgen we were going to call our dog we were going to call Ralph Jürgen because we loved Klopp so much and we definitely weren't having another kid so you could have called your kid Jürgen anyway why not you could have called your English kid Jürgen why not why not our kids could pass up being Dutch or German whatever it is it's like I think if you called Johnny Juergen or like you know Hans

24:19he can carry that off he's going to be so blonde he looks a bit German and Dutch Dutch are the tallest race aren't they I love the Dutch and the Germans and then so we called Johnny after my brother John and I just love the name and I think for us we have to be careful because you know our kids are going to be nine foot three yeah like Sophia's already nearly six foot yeah my granddad was Johnny as well and he was an amazing man that's a nice name yeah I do like it's nice that you've got that sorry that like both you have that connection to yeah I like Johnny you know I would have liked to call my son after my dad but I couldn't Jeff so that's why the dog's called Jeffrey and Jeffrey Braithwaite and Jeffrey Braithwaite yes absolutely I think boys names for me are harder I think you can go a little bit more exotic with girls names yeah I think you can I think I agree with that I just think you know I want my boys to be stand up guys yeah and if they're called like you know Jürgen Florence Florence Florence I love that name Florence it's a girl's name anyway yeah but something you know Julian you called your dog Bambi and we were judging it do you know what I mean and like Bartholomew yeah I don't know yeah I'd struggle with that Montgomery Monty the kid needs to be a little bit more solid I like Monty in Liverpool I think probably then it was very in London it was more multicultural so we had different names yeah that's good points yeah we had we only had one person from overseas from Argentina he was called Raphael that's a lovely name that's a good name that is a great name after the Archangel but that's a good name you know after Benitez yeah job done good name we've been wanting to call me Gabriel imagine me sat here as Gabriel right now I love Gabriel Gabe you'd be calling me Gabe for a fact and that'd just kill me I prefer Gabe to Ross do you Gabe I love Gabe we had Gabriel I like Julian though as well don't I we could sit here up for three hours she loves this game she loves this game we had to try we had to try and like get her off wean her off this game Jack had no name for two weeks baby no name we called him Teddy and then we he just wasn't a Ted was he he's not no he suits Jack he does he's a Jack the lad that's why I wish I would have had the guts to call him Julian or why didn't we call him Raph oh because you thought Raph would think it was after him that's not yeah he did because I loved Rafa.

26:41I love Rafa. I love, why didn't we call him? I love Benitez as well. I wouldn't have said no. No, no, no, it wasn't, no, because you were like, everyone will think it's after Rafa Benitez. Oh God, that's funny. Well, it's two day, two loves of my life with Rafa and Benitez and Rafa van der Vaart. Loves of my life. And I just love Raphael's art and he was my favourite ninja.

27:06Let's change his name. Let's change his name. Come to Raph. Let's change it. No, he's done now. No, he told me he wanted to change his name the other day. No, he said he wants a new, he wants a middle name, doesn't he? Yeah. And what was his middle name? Spike. No, he picked a middle name. He said it was something so funny. Daniel, Jack and Danny. No, he did. Do you remember that? He said Spike to me. Was it Luke or something? He said, can I have a middle name? and he told me what it was. But let's give him a minute. Let's call him Raph. Like, Raph, I could be his middle name. He doesn't even want it anymore.

27:46By the way, Jack, you'll be known as Raph from that one. I'll be okay with that. I mean, his middle name could be Raph. He could change that. No, he wanted to be called Optimus Prime at one stage. He wanted the dog to be called Optimus Prime. No, but he wanted to be called it as well. That's very good. How's the rest of your week been? What have you been up to? I'm still on Christmas, Ross. I just, I can't believe I'm so unorganised. I'm surprised a little bit this year I don't know I honestly don't know where the time is going I just feel like it's just running away like every day it's like a Thursday already I'm like what the hell do you know what I mean yeah and the cupboards still have been organised no literally they haven't they actually haven't those cupboards mate like where are they going to be organised I still haven't got them knobs to the wardrobe like nine years later and every every day I'm like I'm going to get them knobs today I always catch you looking at knobs so not done yet you've got time we're a little bit early we're not full full Christmas the kids still in school are they?

28:47kids are still in school thank god yeah I've got I've got the girls coming over for Christmas wreath making okay you did that last year you enjoyed that didn't you yeah but it's Alfie's sister gonna have to make myself scarce for that one aren't I well yeah I'm gonna do it out now oh so you're not I've hired a place so I'm going to do it there because Alfie's sister is the most incredible florist so we're going to do it with her are you going to just create a wreath for our front door? yeah amazing that is good that's nice and I need Warren to come back and do my staircase why? did you dress it on me?

29:21from London event florist yeah because I couldn't I couldn't do the stairs because the works was getting done upstairs but now they're done have you had the bannister put in now? no it's not done I need him to come around you still haven't got the bannister? no I've got the bannister so the bannister that they ripped up ripped out and ended up putting the exact same one back in absolute disaster ripped out we just ripped it out and we just put it back in the end no because my friend Riley couple weeks of builders my friend Riley came round and went that needs to go so the guy ripped it out and I was like oh no that is so brand I love that it's perfect isn't it it's perfect really it's just how I want to live don't be I'm like I'm not beating myself up over it no boat I'm not beating myself up over it she's Evans she's Evans I just said to the builders just send that bill to Riley because it was their idea.

30:08Yeah, okay. Put it back in. Oh, God. But yeah, that's it. Just more horse riding because I haven't hardly been there either. Just been... But it's like Chris, Johnny had a solo, didn't he? I was going to say, yeah. Are we getting to the kind of nativity season for the kids? Yeah, Jack's got his Santa dash today. As he goes, yeah. They're just up and Santa and they go on a little run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Christmas fairs. Yeah. You know, Christingles, nativities. you know, Lib had her little school play the other day singing. We should have a little reading from you, I reckon, over Christmas. You should do a little reading on the pod.

30:45I think so. I think that's a really good idea, actually. Christmas tale. Because the ASMR video went down really well. What's that? When you were reading, it was like a bedtime story. Oh, yeah. That went down well. I just think for the audio listener. White noise? No, you've got a nice... You have got, like... No. That's not nice for them. No, nice. you've got a nice story voice I think you can put like an eye gel on when you want to I've got a good reading voice but when I do do voiceovers when I was doing the home show so I was you know doing the show being filmed obviously you don't know well you know you're being filmed but it's natural when you meet people and going through the houses and then when I do the voiceovers they were like why are you speaking like Joanna Lumley now my reading voice is so much more posh and then it like cut to me oh my god I love your wardrobe and then be like you put your phone voice on on the air so today we are heading up north to Cheshire to visit one of my icons Sheree Murphy and then it'd be like oh my god I like Sheree and then it'd be like yes so she'd mixed a modern contemporary design and then it then it cut to me actually with her that's boss that babe that's fucking gorgeous that is he wouldn't let me have one of these type bastards type bastards and then the voiceovers would be super duper posh so funny I wish I spoke more like my speaking voice yeah yeah like you want to you want it to be well spoken but still you oh that's brilliant mate alright should I get some acne let's go let's go okay super fan of the clants here super fan Amy I've watched everything you've done that was my favourite me doing that one great banzo cool Jeremy she always comes across like she's killing it when she comes to parenting so I'd be grateful for some advice I'm not sister oh hold on I left my volatile ex-husband a few years ago and I'm back at my parents still after five years we have a seven year old who has febrile seizures as a baby and after a four year break unfortunately had another seizure on February he bounced back quickly but I was totally rocked and now I'm constantly watching him in fear of another one happening.

33:02I get these waves of nausea. Yeah. My GP has said that he believes it's trauma-based parental anxiety. Abby, do you ever struggle with parental anxiety? And if so, what tips and tricks have you found to help you relax? Much love to you all, Anon. Oh God, I'm sorry to hear about your son. I hope I'm getting the right advice and care with him. But yeah, definitely trauma-related anxiety is a thing. you know even because i've been hypnotized several times by tim for my child health anxiety but it does creep back in it's like um you know even when the dog was ill the other day like i was in the shower panicking and then you start thinking about things going to happen to the kids do you know what i mean and then if one of them goes i've got a headache but yeah you you have it with anything if they've got a cough you feel you catastrophize it yeah it's it's awful it's such a hindrance but you know when i think about the things that i've been through like with my kids and obviously what she's gone through it's you know it's justified if there's a thing to catastrophize over it's your kids like like i don't yeah every little thing should be catastrophized over but if you like where to miss something we went through some stuff early on and you know yeah yeah yeah yeah and it was it was very traumatic i think she needs to work on um getting help herself because it will it will never ever go otherwise that hypnosis definitely worked and there's like breathing techniques and stuff like that but if you're living in that constant state of fear it's just not good for your health and then she's the one who'll get ill and she needs to be around and there is help out there you know like you can get help can't you just trying to get over that we spoke both on the last week's podcast things like calm minds better help there are organisations out there that can help with that type of stuff but that hypnosis definitely worked yeah definitely worked for me yeah it worked for John Musk because I quit and fags like he uses my 40 day and then came out and stopped someone completely it does work for some people it does worth looking into okay hi all love the pod hope all is well regards to the family why do you always laugh when you say that it's an absolute ick because it because it just gives me a warm feeling inside knowing that they listen to my podcast every time I think.

35:26Yeah, just because I've got a better podcast than the one you're on. Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo. Okay, I'm going to try and keep this fairly short and sweet. Sorry if I waffle on, but I know Crouchy will forget whatever I've said as soon as he walks out the door anyway. Oh, yeah. God, I said that. I don't. I don't. Anyway, I've been seeing my partner for three years and everything is going basically swimmingly. The usual couple arguments here or there, but nothing major to report on, at the start of our relationship we both said we didn't want to know the number of people the other person has been with as it doesn't make anyone feel good knowing that will only cause drama I did say however I would like to know if there was any lads out of her friendship group that she had slept with which she answered to be fair and I respected her for it this has come up maybe once or twice through our relationship and I can honestly say I've never had an issue with it as we all have one night stands and the fella is really sound we will have a past etc however after my girlfriend got annoyed at me for finding out I'd kissed a girl I know 10 plus years ago started to have a big go at me and brought this up long story short I discovered they'd actually dated for four months this feels a lot different to me and while she had not explicitly said it was a one-night stand she would left me without doubt to believe it was I don't have an issue about past stuff I have an issue with the fact that I we got proper serious with each other and she should have just sat me down and mentioned as I have with her about my stuff in the past.

36:59I know part of this is just me being jealous but objectively I also think I should have been told especially when I've taken this lad out for drinks and sung this praise. I have no problem with him by the way. I just feel that this was being hid. Yeah, like that does feel a bit mad, doesn't it? Imagine being like out with someone that they've gone out. Yeah. And what have they been told? that it was a one night thing and it wasn't like that's annoying I think it's all very trivial to be honest but I think I appreciate that when you're younger these things are a big deal yeah but well I would I feel like that was I do think that's a bit weird like kind of glazing over that but the past is the past the past is the past and playing devil's advocate the girl probably just didn't want to cause an argument?

37:54Like if they've admitted to, oh yeah, I've snogged him or slept with him or whatever, do you really need to go into that? Yeah, I think in both sides of it, you don't want to go into any detail of any of it. Yeah, it's a difficult one, but I think the bygones be bygones. The bigger issue here is the honesty. Also, you can't have a go at him, actually. I think that's the crux of the issue. Yeah, I get what you said. You can't have a go at him because the past is the past. Let's just leave it there. but they don't come about you know kissing someone why is she saying you can't be friends with the girl well she sounds like she's kicked off about the girl for the kissing or whatever and then he's gone well you shagged that fella once and then she's gone well actually it was four months like that's where I think it's come from because they've obviously slept with each other more in four months yeah than once I think the issue here is you know the dishonesty and the kind of double standards that's the problem is the double standards yeah let bygones be bygones if you love each other let it go also it's a silly game why do kids always do this stupid game how many people have you slept with and all that what's the point of that I think they should kiss and make up it doesn't matter it's in the past they love each other mmm mmm I think they could slightly awkward with the lad though isn't it yep like he's gonna probably bump into New Year's Eve parties or stuff like that it's like fucking awkward that's the only issue is that if you suck him up for a pint as well and he's known that he's dated your better that'd do my head then yeah okay hey Clance Cardi P and TRB TBR TBR oh how good does I on my message that was very good I'll give you that I'll give you that he was talking about something and he said beggars can't be choosers and then I deleted it and he went oh I saw that and then I text beggars can't be choosers that just made me laugh out loud because I had a few messages to catch up on and I was like that that was good that was very good kudos to you babe yeah I like that one I was witty as hell the other night as well wasn't I do remember I think you were you've been on fire recently I love it when you have a witty and you know you're being witty you're holding court you're being witty you're holding attention I like that I had them belly laughing rolling on the floor you were on fire I was buzzing I know you were on fire I can't remember one thing I said I can't remember any of it no you were on fire I am quite funny though funny look looking okay I have made the fatal error of rooting through my partner's phone and not liking what I found don't do it kids at home if you look you will find yeah roots will find that's what we always told me a few months ago we were going through a really rough patch arguing all the time purposely winding each other up and yeah just a bit of a shit place really I decided to have a root on her phone to see what she had really been thinking this is a fellow root for the girlfriends Yeah, that's weird.

40:49It sounds like it. It's normally the other way around. No, normally. Normally the birds would miss it, but I reckon... You'd never root through my phone. Not anymore. I've had the odd root over the years. There's nothing on there. There was a... Yeah. But really... Anyway. I delete all mine anyway. Delete now.

41:12What I found was a tough read. It went a lot further about how she feels about me and our relationship than I did during this time. she had made notes in her phone about me my family my weight my career and a few other things that was absolutely you've done that about me weight and career you wrote in your notes I wrote notes yeah because when we're drunk I'm just a bit of a fuck out at the moment what have you written us no never that no she'll say she'll hammer me on a night out right and I'll go I'm not going to remember this in the morning I'm going to remember this yeah and then I say I even say to her you're not going to remember this so you're going to stop then I'll get another barrage review so i'm gonna write this down barrage i have and then i forgot i even wrote it down and then you're looking for some password or something yeah oh yeah i am a useless piece of piss

42:05useless a useless serenity um i've never called you my god um i'm not saying she is wrong for having these feelings or writing it and i know i also know that i should not have gone through her phone it's like reading someone's bloody diary that no but that is horrendous like imagine going through your missus phone and saying your weight your job that that is bad yeah but when we are arguing on making up she never mentioned any of this stuff and now we are friends again it just feels a bit false we need to talk about these things as she clearly hasn't been 100 % honest with me but i also don't really want her to know that i went through her phone to find this stuff out any tips and none because i've caught you numerous times going through my phone what do you normally say I just say it outright just say no I'm gonna have a look yeah yeah I suppose it married a couple 20 years now like me mum and John will happily don't like rooting on anything but go on each other's phones like freely or whatever but I think if you want you expect her to be honest with you about certain things then you've got to be honest with her really I think those things are like that sounds bad to me you know like that I think they need to be brought up and analysed yeah well what's the problem with my job what's the problem with my work but she could be she could be he could be saying he could be being rude to her and saying rude things to her and she could be she could be writing how dare he call me fatty the size of him yeah could be like she's writing the notes it could be yeah but her notes could be you know he's got the cheek to call me fat and look at the size of him or whatever do you know what I mean we don't know what that's a good point they've said to each other in an argument or he's saying to me I'm a lazy cow do you think his job's good but he did say I didn't say I don't think any other stuff about her and like it's not as bad she thinks a lot worse than I do about her but that would make me feel like that wasn't the case but also you have to have an outlet as well to air your own thoughts and feelings whether that's a friend or whether that is your notes in your phone you know you if I had a problem with you and I discussed it with a friend or something you can't be pissed off about it because you would need someone well if I was pissed off about it I wouldn't be here would I I think I've heard you who's slating me.

44:18I've heard you. I've heard you. I've been through your phone and seen you write messages about me. Have you? Yeah. Fair enough. I have. Well, listen, I like to say, I don't disagree with, like, if you, if we have an argument, I'm totally comfortable with you venting to your friends. Yeah. That's fine. I think that's okay. But I think when it gets real personal like that, like appearance, way, job. Are you saying that's a career end? that is career ending stuff and when I say career I mean relationship like that's big they're biggies I think that's big yeah I think that's like you know if you've got if you've got a problem with my weight my looks my job the way I act like that's I think that's it that's just standard they've been arguing over like fucking the washing or he's doing the dishes and then actually she's written that in her notes I couldn't understand why you'd be a bit like fucking hell I didn't realise it was this bad like do you know what I mean exactly right but it might not be that people think have feelings in a specific moment in time That's so true.

45:15Yeah. Would you rather she write it in a note or would you rather she said it to your face when she's angry and hurt you? I saw an amazing quote off the house. We haven't had a quote for a while, have we? No, you're one of these quotes. Say it. I love these. Say it. Forget it. See it. Stop it. We've been on the tube recently. Catch it, bin it, kill it. Catch it, bin it, kill it. No. Say it. Forget it. Write it. Regret it. Well, yeah. Say it what? Say it. Forget it. Write it. Regret it. Yeah. Yeah, okay. it's there forever then yeah exactly which I am an expert at doing writing those texts in the heat writing the text and then they keep it but like when I had a fight with my brother and he screen-shattered it's the whole family like what I said to him but it's like that was the feel that wasn't my feelings the rage that was the rage that's just that she could be like oh I've had a fight now I'm going to write down everything I don't like about him that could not that might not necessarily mirror her true feelings and emotions because people feel certain ways at the heat of the moment you do you do for sure I think we've learnt a valuable lesson on this podcast today and I'd just like to finish on this moment when you are slating a family member or your or husband or wife always call them never text true yeah true say it to the face and don't write it down you have a good day guys and don't do it in a voice note as well don't do it in a voice note face to face because then they forget what you say exactly right it's fine very good job done see you next week see you next time