“She’s Younger Than Me!” – The Awkward Truth About Dad’s New Girlfriend…

0:00This ad is sponsored by ZocDoc. Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start? I find that's especially true when you move. It's hard to find your people. I've been there, which is why I use ZocDoc. Now, as a busy podcaster parent and someone who's always juggling a million things, I love anything that makes life easier. And ZocDoc lets you search and compare local in-network doctors with over 250 ,000 people.

0:30providers across more than 200 specialties. You can read reviews from real patients, find a provider who feels like the right fit, see actual appointment openings, and book instantly. I recently had a last-minute health issue pop up and needed to see someone fast. Instead of calling around or sitting on hold, I found a doctor on ZocDoc and booked an appointment in just a few minutes. It made the whole process so much less stressful. Now, taking care of your health just got easier, download the ZocDoc app today. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C, and book that appointment on your to-do list. Most people don't realize how much of their personal information is being bought and sold every day.

1:10Data brokers are making billions pulling details about you from public records and the internet, then packaging and selling it, usually without your consent. That's how your information lands in the hands of scammers, spammers, even stalkers. It's why you get endless robocalls and why ads seem to follow you everywhere. That's where Aura comes in. Aura actively removes your data from broker sites and keeps it off. They also instantly alert you if your information shows up in a breach or on the dark web. But Aura goes beyond data protection. With one app, you get a VPN, antivirus, password manager, spam call protection, dark web monitoring, and even up to$5 million in identity theft insurance, all backed by 24-7 USB fraud support.

1:55Other companies might sell just credit monitoring or just a VPN. Aura gives you all of it together at the same price competitors charge for just one service. Start your free trial today at aura.com slash safety. Protect yourself now at aura.com slash safety. ACAS powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. After three years, the world of the award-winning horror podcast, The Magnus Archives, is back with The Magnus Protocol. Immerse yourself in a brand new terror and uncover the secrets behind the mysterious work of the Office of Incident Assessment and Response and try to find out what really happened to The Magnus Institute.

2:41Though remember that too many questions can come at a cost. The Magnus Protocol is available now, wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com You need, like, a dweeby guy. Like, look at your dad. You just need a nice dweeb. You've got college this morning. College. Very much Judy and not so much Richard. More dick. dick baby chinless dick

3:27Abbey Clancy: hello and welcome to the therapy crouch with me abby clancy me peter crouch go off the phone hello are you texting play me pete i know i know i know he's texting which leads me perfectly into my weekly wine sorry ross before i've been asking you said hello to russia no no but you know what pete's found a new love so every day on holiday I'd wake up Pete nowhere to be seen so I'd be like where the fuck is he going early rise he's been booking himself tennis lessons tennis lessons is it yeah yeah taking Sophia Sophia doing her lessons anyway with her coach and Pete's booked himself in and he's also joined a tennis club here at home and he's in a tennis competition and a tennis team.

4:22Mate, you're naughty, I love it. You're fucking naughty, lad. Sorry, I don't know. You know what's happened? I got the bug massively over the course of the, I was taking Sophia and I said, do you know what I was going to start doing? Got a lesson then, got the bug. Then I was seeing myself getting better in the four. Yeah. Am I correct in saying that? You came to a cross junction once when you were younger about what we should go into tennis or football a little bit? I could play when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then obviously didn't pick up a racket for 20 years, really. Yeah. Playing football for 20 years, didn't pick up a racket.

4:53But, you know, my summers consisted of a ball and a tennis racket. Yeah. And when we got, you know, slightly tired of football, we'd go and play tennis. No, it was. That was like for six weeks. Football, tennis, football, tennis, football, tennis. And by the end of that, you get pretty, you get all right. Yeah, you get tasty. So, yeah, I was decent as a kid. And then...

5:11Abbey Clancy: You're playing that down. you had to make a crucial decision whether to take on tennis or football well you never know do you I mean like I was playing for the county but you've got the natural armour you know you've got the height yeah so but anyway it's kind of something that I never revisited yeah so I'm yeah I'm trying to get back on the horse good lads I thought it was supposed to be the other way around isn't it like middle aged women who are having a midlife crisis who get a tennis coach and then start having an affair keep an eye on them this is what I should be doing have you you're more than welcome to do that that's fine now I've got my big boy waiting for me in this table yeah Lorenzo yeah his name's Enzo oh Enzo's Eddie I wish it was bloody Lorenzo I love that name oh you crack on then babe that's not having this weekly one your husband's keeping himself in shape he's picking up a new hobby I'm joking I'm actually really happy for him because he's happy he's keeping fit he's keeping moving and Sophia as well oh yeah like that that's a good thing if he's bonding thing yeah well they can do mixed doubles now go hey Alcaraz and Rathacanu did you see them the other day yeah yeah have you seen Alcaraz's new hair no I haven't he shaved off has he done a Jamie have you shaved your hair Jamie oh no I love the mallet that's why he's rocking the cuff sorry Jamie sorry me take your hat off that's mean that's mean let me see he can't take it off oh he's nervy sorry Jamie I'm sorry bro well I actually saw some footage of Alcaraz and he had a kind of short back and sides but no like the kind of heavy bit on the top but quite flat and then shaved and I reckon he thought no this is Rascal that needs to go I've got a weekly one you won't believe this one so bearing in mind I've taken my whole family out for a lovely dinner and while we're on holiday incredible view of a bay which is how nice was that oh my god insane got booked in to see this magician who was insane oh my god his name is Drummond's Money Coots Drummond's Money Coots and he's got a show on Netflix That's his real name, by the way.

7:12But my God. He's from the Coots.

7:14Abbey Clancy: He's from the Coots family. Dynasty. Oh, I don't know. They're the Coots, who are they? Coots is like the Queen's Bank. Do they? Yeah. Oh, I remember. His name's Drummond Money Coots. What kind of a fucking flex name is that? And he's an unbelievable magician. He's got a show on Netflix and stuff. It's like David Blaine. I'll make your tax returns disappear. Yeah, that'd be good. Unbelievable, yeah. But he was sent, we'll go into some of the tricks that he did. Yeah, we'll go into that, but I've got a, my weekly wine was, we're all sitting there and Sophia was talking about, you're talking about boys and stuff.

7:56She's going, no, I can hear them, but I'm not really concentrating. Oh, he was a boy on,

8:01Abbey Clancy: he's this boy on Instagram. But you can tell he's like a player and, you know, he loves himself. Yeah. And he's just, I'm like, Sophia, you need to stay clear away from them boys. I overheard that bit. And then I just heard, you need like a dweeby guy. Like, look at your dad. You just need a nice dweeb. She's not even laughing. She's telling this directly. You need a nice dweeb that treats you right. Look at your dad. Oh, that's out of a laugh. Couldn't believe it. Good point, well made. totally valid I don't mean dweeb you're not a dweeb you said the word dweeb I did say the word dweeb you're harmless you're harmless look at your dad I'm joking no what I mean is you don't want like a guy who's in the mirror every two seconds who's you know no you don't worried about what he looks like and is you know scouting all the girls out mind you you do do that sometimes good band yeah yeah scouting for girls scouting for girls yeah oh that's very good but um no I was just trying to tell the girls you need someone who loves you and is well-mannered and, you know, So it's a roundabout compliment.

9:15Yeah, yeah, yeah. To come with. To dweeb. And I wasn't the one

9:19Abbey Clancy: who said you had thin lips. Yeah, well, who said that? I'm just getting to that. Who said that? Just getting to that. Both of them. Both of them said to me how thin my lips were. So not only I've got no chin, I've got no lips either. Chinless, lipless dweeb. Pete, I can take you to Natalie Kelly as she'll sort all of that out. Sacking out Natalie Kelly. Great, great content. Joking me. I don't like the idea of Artie Sophia getting into, you know, boyfriends and all that now. It's not cool. Well, she's never had a boyfriend. She's still a little baby in my eyes. She's 14, but she's 5 '11". And, you know, she just, everyone just stares at her when you go down the street.

9:53Abbey Clancy: Because she's just so gorgeous. Even though I do say so myself. Good genes. The genes. Yeah, well, thankfully, she's got a chin. Yes, great jawline. And some lips. do you want to cheers to them weekly wines fucking hell yeah bizarrely there was a roundabout compliment in there somewhere saying I'm a nice guy yeah you're great you are a really neat guy talking about your chin so what have you been missing you guys to be fair oh as if yeah no no we can't miss the records it's good to be back I feel like the energy is back here now just chilling really the weather's been quite nice been going on for some nice walks mind the John's dog for a little bit all good have you got any audience wines Pedro?

10:39yeah we have yeah this is one for Tudor Bob Ross after your that's so Wallace-y that and you scream you scream where are you comments in the previous episode I'd like to refer you to this list of the 10 most desirable postcodes to live in England pay particular attention to the locations in 1st, 8th and 9th. The most desirable postcodes, according to the nation, England, is CH63, Bevington, Cheshire, Wirral, IP5, Kezgrave, Sipswich, yeah.

11:18Abbey Clancy: Fucking good, what's going here? By the way, where the hell are you putting this through here? Fabulous architecture there. Fucking Sipswich, where the hell did you pull off from here? FY6. Oh, Pete, this is a new game. we could be on we could be on Fy I thought you you weren't maps and stuff it's not Frodgham no Fy hang on give me a clue give me a clue well you you said it you said somewhere close a minute ago Norfolk is it Fy Norfolk Norfolk and chance the houses in Norfolk are fabulous as well you lived in Norfolk DT1 Durham no Dorchester Blackpool Dorchester Blackpool no it's Blackpool Dorchester oh Warrington Warrington Wallasey Wirral and Eastern Wirral oh okay there's an East of the Wirral can I just say I feel like this message has proved my point about that's so Wallasey and that's so Wirral who would write a message like that you've offended me so here are the most designable postcodes in the UK they're definitely not that's absolute will behaviour isn't it do you know what I mean that is such will behaviour you can't alienate all the people from All the wolves.

12:31All the wolves. Can I just ask, what is your problem as Scousers with people that live... Because you fucking send messages like that in, do you know what I mean? That's the gimpiest message I've ever heard in my life.

12:44Abbey Clancy: They pretend to be Scousers. Yeah, but do they, though, really? They do. They don't do the day. I envy them because they get to look over the water and see our beautiful city, the Three Graces, every day of the week. We have to look at Birkinhead, do you know what I mean? It's not on. I'm joking. but I have like I've got a few friends who live in the world and it's fabulous it is meant to be lovely it is absolutely gorgeous and the beaches West Kirby's meant to be like Johnny Mural I always used to go to West Kirby as a kid it's nice isn't that where the Cadbury's factory sorry Rafa's house in Caldey oh yeah some golf courses over there are phenomenal as well no it is nice it is nice when I went to Liverpool like the fact that you go through the tunnel and all that I had no clue that even existed have you ever even been yeah been loads of times loads of the Liverpool players the old school ones live over there yeah yeah I will say the houses are meant to be nice over there yeah they are Rafa loves it his missus Rafa managed Real Madrid and his wife stayed yeah he kept his daughter yeah yeah I knew that yeah you'd have thought that she's Spanish would have loved to have gone back to Madrid I saw you watching the blue shade the other day Russ yeah did you like that our baby's become a proper blue nose as well so cute Sienna Pete, I thought you'd laugh at that.

14:00Abbey Clancy: No, I don't like it. The shite.

14:05First Everton game as well. Friendly Roma. Got beat. Like, get used to this, babe. Shock horror. I know. Yeah, but you won the first game. We did. And then she went to the Mansfield game the other day. She's become a proper diop. She wants to become a mascot now.

14:17Abbey Clancy: You can't be a Everton. You can't bring her up as a bloody Everton fan. I know. Well, it's a lifetime of misery, innit? Yeah, it really is. One of us. We need to change this. You should manage them. Yeah. Imagine that. Whatever. You can't touch Jekyll.

14:35Okay. Hi, the Clants. Cardi P and Tudor Bob Ross. I've only started listening to the pod and I've just listened to the episode where someone wrote in about their partner not being a plus one to the wedding. The message could have been written about me and my partner. One of the groomsmen was not allowed to bring his missus because she's a fucking nightmare. We said that we didn't have space, but the real reason was because she's always kicking off and causing murder and we simply didn't want to run the risk with certain people's partners on our special day. There's a short list of those who were barred and we regret nothing.

15:11There was zero drama on the day. The vibe was immaculate. It saved us£150 a head. We were ruthlessly rigid with what we wanted to do for our wedding and that's the advice I'd give anyone who's planning a wedding. probably best I'm kept to none just in case the person who wrote in was our mate

15:31that's class I'm glad we got to see it from a different perspective good shout at that really isn't it

15:34Abbey Clancy: do you know what I don't know if it's a thing that comes with age the more I think about wedding it's like you've got to just do you you've just got to because I'm planning my 40th and I'm like again yeah but I'm like what do I do to have the big party yeah but like you say you invite someone who causes drama and like everyone feels a bit anxious fuck off yeah get out you're not invited I only want positive vibes exactly right fun if you can't make me belly laugh you're not invited sister yeah exactly right you got off for something yeah yeah how funny would that be if that actually was the person replying to that person who said the original as well they were acting so hard done by it it turns out you're missing a fucking nightmare superb perv.

16:23Right, hello, listener, story here after your mum is fat joke reminded me of a childhood beef I had with my primary school nemesis. I'm now a grown man with a dog, mortgage and a beautiful girlfriend, so should probably let it go, but the pod brought back some funny memories. And a beautiful partner. A grown man with a dog. He said mortgage and a beautiful girlfriend. The girlfriend

16:46Abbey Clancy: came last time. Yeah, 100%. similar to the situation mentioned on the pod I was having a feud with my nemesis by a BBM or whatever what's BBM? Blackberry Messenger Blackberry Messenger or whatever was the chat at the time amid war of words I've dropped the yeah but your mum's fat slander into the group chat with great results and lots of lols from my peers in case we had all seen the mum this was not a generic your mum is fat comment she was an extra large lady within the hour the nemesis had grasped me up to his very chunky mum, who suddenly turned up on my doorstep trying to fight my very confused and less large mother.

17:33It was all round an exhilarating experience and a great win in what was a nutritional primary school war, wishing him and his large mum very well.

17:46Abbey Clancy: Facts! That is hilarious. That's great, though. no way yeah he's made grass none of them yeah it's old as one yeah that's worse than it now you're a snitch and you've got a fat mum oh my god no wonder she was kicking off it is funny how these like kind of things just stay through generations and generations because I said Jack's doing it all the time now your mum and they're doing all like little songs that we used to sing and now they were they were trying to play knock a door dash in the hotel that's boss that though isn't it I love that What is your name for that as well? Knock and Run. Knock and Run.

18:24I was knocked down Ginger.

18:26Abbey Clancy: That feeling though where you're going to get chased, it's the best, isn't it? I used to love it. It's good. When I was little, I used to live on like a hill and it used to go all the way around. So you'd have the hill road when we were in Hillview Gardens and then it'd go around and then you'd have the grassy hill on the other side and it'd be a loop. And we used to knock at this guy's house and he used to come out and find us and we were like, which way should we go? The grassy way or the other way? And then you'd see him at the time, and he'd tear around and run, and then he'd be there. It was just the best feeling.

19:00It was good, that. It's nice to see your kids doing stuff like that rather than iPads and stuff. I'd rather, you know, it's not really, they're not hurting anyone.

19:05Abbey Clancy: Get off the iPad and play Rock a Doll Dash. Yeah. I saw, that reminded me of this, saying about going back to school and remembering stuff. I saw a tweet from some fella, that he said I think he took Taylor Swift to the prom at school have you seen this no what and he said he said there's a picture of him or something going with her and he said oh like my first love or something like that he said I hope she doesn't I hope I never see who she married you saw something like or it was something like the tweet was something brilliant it was like oh just with my high school prom like the one that got away I hope I never I hope she never goes out with anyone so much oh man imagine that isn't she getting married yet or write loads of songs about me yeah I can't remember but it was but it was funny he's obviously got a fucking marriage isn't she she's getting married isn't she yeah yeah yeah Travis Kelsey the football player football American football sorry he looks quite fun I think yeah so guys before we get into the rest of the podcast you're going to be hearing from our sponsors we're going to make a quick cup of tea and remember if you're liking what you're listening to share it with all your friends and hit that red button.

20:19Abbey Clancy: Sexy bump. This ad is sponsored by ZocDoc. Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start. I find that's especially true when you move. It's hard to find your people. I've been there, which is why I use ZocDoc. Now, as a busy podcaster parent and someone who's always juggling a million things, I love anything that makes life easier. and ZocDoc lets you search and compare local in-network doctors with over 250 ,000 providers across more than 200 specialties.

20:55You can read reviews from real patients, find a provider who feels like the right fit, see actual appointment openings, and book instantly. I recently had a last-minute health issue pop up and needed to see someone fast. Instead of calling around or sitting on hold, I found a doctor on ZocDoc and booked an appointment in just a few minutes. It made the whole process so much less stressful. Now, taking care of your health just got easier. Download the ZocDoc app today. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C, and book that appointment on your to-do list.

21:26Abbey Clancy: Most people don't realize how much of their personal information is being bought and sold every day. Data brokers are making billions pulling details about you from public records and the internet, then packaging and selling it, usually without your consent. That's how your information lands in the hands of scammers, spammers, even stalkers. It's why you get endless robocalls and why ads seem to follow you everywhere. That's where Aura comes in. Aura actively removes your data from broker sites and keeps it off. They also instantly alert you if your information shows up in a breach or on the dark web.

22:01But Aura goes beyond data protection.

22:03Abbey Clancy: With one app, you get a VPN, antivirus, password manager, spam call protection, dark web monitoring, and even up to$5 million in identity theft insurance. All backed by 24-7 U.S.-based fraud support. Other companies might sell just credit monitoring or just a VPN. Aura gives you all of it together at the same price competitors charge for just one service. Start your free trial today at aura.com slash safety. Protect yourself now at aura.com slash safety. So how have we been? How was the holidays? The holiday was phenomenal. Yeah. After the rat attack. Rat attack attack. In France. Did we talk about the rat?

22:47Abbey Clancy: We talked about the rat. After the rat attack in France and coming, you know, it was, this holiday, it's just a real special place for us. We've been for the past couple of years. Yeah. just as a family, and we do the most incredible experiences, and you just feel like you're on holiday. It's a complete chill, gorgeous, healthy food. The kids are happy, and I just love it. Yeah, it was a nice one to end on, because we've had some hairy moments this summer. Okay, okay. And, you know, this trip wasn't without its hairy moments as well, but it was really a lot more chilled. It was really nice, and everyone had a good time.

23:27Was it more kind of like, because when you go away normally over summer it's very activity based was this kind of more beachy chilling out reading a book by the pool vibes I read three books did you go on

23:37Abbey Clancy: three Colleen Hoover books I'll recommend them to our nerds I'm on one now our nerdy fans oh yeah yeah obviously we have got a bit of a book club Abbey's book club yeah it's more very much Judy and not so much Richard more dick just dick baby chinless dick

24:01dweeby dick

24:06Abbey Clancy: I read hopeless what's the one I'm reading at the moment too late that's good is it yeah I'm in it's very good it's good and I read I read hopeless too late and ugly love which the first one was a bit ugly love I was a bit like oh you've read Verity as well that's the main one Verity I've read they're making a film out of it yeah yeah I thought that but that Hopeless has got a series yeah so there's they're quite mad names for books the Hopeless Ugly Love and what was their name? they're all good Too Late Too Late no but they're all like kind of give me books describing your relationship Hopeless Too Late Ugly Love no but they're quite they're very much love stories the people who were like infatuated with each other um with a lot of drama nice certainly a lot of drama i could not put them down now you were all over it weren't you yeah yeah i did read the second one um it's called fine losing hope after hopeless but it was just the exact same book but in the man's in the man's perspective so the man's voice and okay so i was a bit like i've read all this yeah so i ditched that one but the others were phenomenal phenomenal i'll say one incident that happened when we were away it was I'd been to golf and come back and I've said kids were so well behaved incredibly behaved but there was one day where they were just going mental round the pool weren't they they get told off by the lifeguard I think they were on the third you're not allowed to jump look our kids are so well behaved no jumping no diving no bombing yeah one of them so then they were like you're on your third war and we want your own number and we've got to report you so I'm like it's a baby pool and they're like five years on into this yeah so they're like it's a pool they can't jump in it so then they brought they ran to the room and brought the big massive inflatables from our pool in our villa yeah and brought them to the main pool got told off for that and then there was a woman and then they had a little fight was it like an adult only you know no it wasn't it was kids everywhere but like I don't know what was going on but anyway there was one you know it's just one of those days where it's just things are going wrong and they're so good every other day.

26:26There was one couple, opposite one couple to the side, you could see she's reading a book, but just like... She was just going to tossing out.

26:34Abbey Clancy: You know, like one of those. It was so funny. And then I said to Ab, like the final insight was, I said, let's get them out of here. We're not... It's just not a good day today. Yeah. We'll come back tomorrow and we'll start again. But as we had to walk off, we had to carry the giant flamingo and the donut. and then your book past these people your book what are you looking at what's your problem your book fell in the pool then I ordered the kids milkshakes they knocked them all over and then Johnny and Jack were having a brawl and they were all screwed it was just mental yeah and we were like oh my god yeah there was a milkshake fell on the floor a flamingo like knocked them on the way through we had to be on our third morning we were literally like the chavs but today for this particular day we were definitely the uh yeah the romans literally just i'd take away that beverly i just put the hillbillies but it was incredible that this i just feel totally rejuvenated when i go here like the food you know everything you eat is what they've grown or what they've caught and yeah yeah it's just phenomenal and we had the the absolute pleasure of seeing they've got like a a turtle protection oh yeah I know all along the beach and that particular day was the day the baby turtles hatched out the eggs and were crawling into the sea yeah yeah so this big baby turtle it's just magical tiny though I did that in Mexico though and all the seagulls came in at the turtles did that happen to you?

28:13no thank god no because so many people because they make a big deal of it yeah Loads of people lined up behind the ropes.

28:18Abbey Clancy: And there's lots of volunteers who are like... Protecting them, yeah. Trying to dig out the trail for them to go down. Because you've got to, apparently, I did the exact same thing in Mexico. They said, I was like, all these seagulls are coming in and eating them. And like, can't we just put them in the water straight away? But apparently they need to walk on the sand because that's how they know. They ground themselves or whatever to come back and lay their eggs on the same beach like 20 years later or whatever. It was just the best... Did you release them yourselves? No, there was people, like professionals doing it.

28:46Oh, okay, okay. And then we just got to watch.

28:48Abbey Clancy: You weren't allowed to touch them, but they were making like, because they were that big, they were that big. And it was just magnificent. And then we saw, we went to this port for lunch and we saw sea turtles and apparently they go into this port because the current's so strong, they have a rest in there. Yeah. And they were just coming out the water. It was just magical, wasn't it? Yeah, it was beautiful, yeah. There's a lot of animals there. We saw, yeah, I get to have a cat and a dog actually. Yeah. there was a cat in a tree that we almost adopted very close to to adopting a dog as well so we were coming home from dinner one night walking to our villa and it's like a huge place this and it's beautiful wildlife and you know trees and plants and whatever and this golden retriever just started following us yeah so i checked him and he didn't have a collar on or anything and i spoke to one of the hotel staff and they were like oh for the dogs in the area we've got a special rehoming program where we get the dogs and the puppies and some of the guests want to adopt them and take them home and if not we offer them to the locals or you know hotel staff like the hotel manager he took two dogs from there um so this dog followed us home so i'm like should i bring him into the villa but then i thought he might get scared being indoors if he's, he was about two, but he was just the most beautiful dog.

30:15Abbey Clancy: Like the kids were hugging him, kissing him, he was wagging his tail. Like, you know, I'm not stupid. I know too. Yeah. You need to be careful because that woman in Morocco got scratched and she got rabies. Did you hear about that? No. Yeah. She got scratched by a wild dog in Morocco and then got rabies. Yeah. But this dog was the picture, you know, if there's a rabid dog, I'm not touching. No. He was like silk. As if he were pure white, his eyes were sparkly. He was very good weight. obviously I made the kids wash their hands but do you know what they vaccinate when they find them they vaccinate them oh do they that's good and chip them yeah but this particular one's been really hard to catch so I got him to our room and we were like what should we call him and then I was singing Sandy why are you following me from Annie so we called him Sandy then I sent the video to my dad and my dad was like Abby who do you think you are fucking Disney princess they're singing to dogs.

31:09Abbey Clancy: It's pathetic. Grow up, you're embarrassing. Absolutely embarrassment. Absolute embarrassment. It was nice to me. I just sat back and let him, let him take control. And then he's, I'm like, daddy, you messaged me. He's like, what, send me messages in capitals. What is wrong with you? So I was desperate to take this dog home. So I called the hotel. He texted me on the slide as well. I was like, do not let her bring this dog home. You need to have a word of it. Put your foot down. Put your foot down. I think he was happy there. So I called the hotel. and they came and the dog catcher came and the dog legged it and he said I've been trying to get him for a month he said I actually want him for myself he's that gorgeous and you know he's lying with like people in the hotel and getting his tummy rubbed and he was just the most beautiful dog he's fine but Jack put the nail in that coffin but he ran away and then I was hoping that he'd come back and that for the remainder of the holiday we didn't see him I hope he gets fine and gets an amazing home because you know my whole family are obsessed my auntie in Lanzarote she takes in cats and dogs and rehomes them and gets them like neutered and vaccinated or if there's a pregnant cat with kittens she will keep them deliver the kittens and take them to the vet and get them all you know so it's definitely in my blood I think you were secretly happy we didn't get to take that home yeah not so secretly she's absolutely obsessed with me picking up animals it's bizarre like there was there was a prayer mantis kind of like there was a slight like slides water park and it was the ab says straight away like pick it up why?

32:49why? get that with your piece yeah yeah just get that kids are scared kids are actually fine no you're getting that mixed up then there's a cat up a tree go and get it down just cut your cart it needs to get down I'm like I don't want to get a cat up a tree it's fine no

33:00Abbey Clancy: no Pete Pete rescued a little ginger kitten do you know all ginger cats are male? what? why? don't know my dad told me that might be a load of more load of bollocks yeah that could be a Jeff apparently they're all male gingers can we fact check that some more alright so I'm fact checking here no not all ginger cats are male while ginger colouring is genetically more likely in males female ginger cats do exist thank you guys coming from one ginger takes on to no one we're bloody surrounded by gingers aren't we yeah we are ginger males you're on the cusp harvest gold when I go on holiday it goes a bit blonder but we've got Scott yeah Sam a lot going on James how about airport ab was she out in full force this holiday or did she keep herself in check yeah no she's a lot better a lot better a lot better yeah it helps when she's buried in a book we met some great friends on holiday and I don't know how to take our farewell.

34:08Go on.

34:09Abbey Clancy: Because they were fabulous and they had teenagers. So Sophia was happy because it's normally the little kids who find friends. Yeah. And Sophia's kind of on her own, but she met some gorgeous girls. But then as they would leave them, she went, oh, bye holiday friends. They said that's you. Yeah. So I'm like, yeah. I'm like, are they ending this friendship? Are we leaving this in Greece or? holiday romance yeah because I went I probably have to get your antics with the kids at the pool and the inflatables got humps and dumps yeah yeah they were fab I love meeting people on holiday and you know it makes you realise like the world is so big and you can do so many different things yeah we're having this debate at the moment just because you you know buy a house live there you don't have to stay yeah very true yeah we are we are stuck in our eyes it's like I always think with the schooling system and everything it's like you've got to do this you've got to do that no you don't yeah just go and do it somewhere else can you imagine how much you don't have to you know our kids are not going to remember that day they were in school doing maths no they don't remember hating that but what they will remember is oh that time we travelled here and lived three months there or did this and you know we did a year in somewhere mad yeah and we still went to school or we learnt a language for a year that's what I wanted in a completely different place.

35:33It's much more beneficial than like... Massively agree with you. Yeah, like to do in chemistry. We could still do this.

35:39Abbey Clancy: We could still come in people's ears daily. You know, it's fine. From anywhere in the world. I'll come all over.

35:52Abbey Clancy: I'm trying to convince my fucking... Yeah, no, like, because I do get it, but I actually do like being in England as well. Yeah. And I think... So do I? You know, England gets a bad rep, especially at the moment. You know, London especially. Well, because they're doing bad things. Yeah, yeah. Listen, and there's lots of reasons why that is. But I actually do like the country. And I like the people. I do. Not all of them, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's a lot of people that I like it. And I like the... I do like it. I think you're safer here. Like if you go to some countries and... I'm not talking about humans, safety from humans.

36:30Abbey Clancy: it's just like tsunamis or earthquakes or... Yeah, that's true. That's true. I think you are safe in some regard here. Obviously, you know, less so in others. It's not a black and white issue, is it? There are some grey areas for sure. But I will say about missing it as well. I lived in Spain for a couple of years and, you know, just missing the kind of, the sarcasm, the banter, the people on your wavelength. Even when I came home to Liverpool, listening to the Scouse accent was like a dream. Do you know what I mean? You do miss it after like a few months. You'd miss it more than you think, I think.

36:59Abbey Clancy: yeah I am no I'd always be here yeah but I would like to try like you know for winter go somewhere for three months because we could still do this you could come back to do football food for thought isn't it it is hard because at the same time you could go as well the flip side of that you're so happy and blessed just sit back and enjoy the grass isn't always greener type of vibe no but it's like it's experiences that's what we're here for to do stuff agreed agreed it's a conversation it is it's a conversation I've been in for five years you get a new kitchen and you'll shut the fuck up get down that or do the whole house up but these are the ultimatums I keep telling you there's little ultimatums like this we have to go and live somewhere abroad or we need to do the whole house up but option three again is we don't do any of those we continue to live the life that we enjoy with no carnage whatsoever I've got another weekly wine she lures you into this thing like well we have to live in Mallorca or we do the house after no I know we don't I've got a weekly wine it's a friend of ours she wants to move out of the area and go get a house and get some animals and stuff and Pete thinks that's so wholesome and you know what a lovely but that's what I want but I'm high maintenance yeah but it's not going to cost them if she goes against a couple of animals, it's not going to affect his life.

38:30Yeah, the way she's looking at animals as well is totally different to the way you're looking at. Pedigree fucking dressage horses. With a series of stables.

38:44Abbey Clancy: No, I'm like, I want a couple of chickens that she's going to go out and feed herself. Do you know what I mean? No, I don't. What I'm trying to say here is there's a balance. That is wholesome. Your way is not. i want the exact same thing you you got me that horse because you wanted me to be safe it had to be a grand prix schoolmaster pete said simply she's not having anything but a grand prix no to be fair with the horse it was my horse that i fell in love with yeah that's why i got that one just coming back after that going back to our trip you know just having these magical memories with the kids because each day was magical you know just the view like we went for dinner like that view Pete the sunset incredible you know it does something to your body looking at nature yeah so beautiful you know swimming in the sea I think that at GNC it does something to you stunning it's just magnificent and I come back feeling very blessed and happy and ready for these fuckers to go back to school yeah it feels like good vibes to be fair you can tell has been good it was just amazing no ipads yeah you know playing laughing yeah it was almost like a digital detox you know we were playing cards we were playing uno yeah reading books yeah even the kids were reading there was one point right where i stood up and i had to kind of just take a mental image of what was happening yeah all my family were reading books on the beach yeah I thought oh my god yeah we've got one of those families baby we made it we've got one of those families genuinely because I I really envy those families when you see them all the kids are reading books like on the train or you know when ours are you know fighting each other I don't know how many row books they've got I hate it those you know it's going to be no diginess for them now no diginess no diginess no dodginess just pure unadulterated fun I'll give you a shout when we want to have a drink though and they're in our face just take that Ross you wouldn't believe this you wouldn't believe this magician that we saw Ross so we're having dinner and we met our holiday friends and they were like guys it's the last night of this guy you've got to go and see him so we had dinner we'd see him and he came over to me before in the restaurant and said I want you to think of someone in your life maybe it's from your childhood it could be human animal whatever yeah something that was important to you or of any relevance blah blah blah so i thought i'm going to go really obscure here and i wrote i wrote my very first pet pumpkin do you remember that white rabbit that i had supposed to be a dwarf loppy and it ended up being a hair so i wrote pumpkin i put it in on my own put it in an envelope and put it in my handbag and my handbag on me at all times so then we go into the room with the magician and he says he did some various tricks blah blah blah so anyway and abby called me up he said give me these pack of cards but it was it wasn't um like ace did it it was just letters okay so he said i want you to shuffle these cards yourself i shuffled the cards and he said right at any point i want you to break the deck so shuffle in break the deck um put that down so then he said i want you to shuffle again break that deck yeah break the deck put it down and then he went okay what is it one last time so i did it then he said i want you to lay all those cards out i had seven cards in my hand and it's spelt out pumpkin.

42:24Abbey Clancy: That is bonkers, that. P-U-M-P-K-I-N. In order. What was it like? Yeah, he did some amazing tricks. They're a standard magician. I really rate them, but they do do my editing. He does an online school. Does he? Yeah, and Jack got up and volunteered with them and he won the prize to do the free online school. But the kids are desperate to do it, so we're going to do that. It was just phenomenal. Phenomenal. Yeah. Like impossible. do you wreck your head for the rest of the night don't you like how the freaking hell did you do that this is the one he did he said Abby think of a person whoever you want he had the phone I said Madonna he said go on her Wikipedia page so then he said you know all the click through links that come up as blue he said at random I just want you to pick each one but first he said to you Pete you've got an imaginary dice in your hand roll the dice what number have you got Pete said five so then he goes to me pick a person I picked Madonna go on her Wikipedia then pick any of the blue click through links links yeah so i picked one it was like butterfly yeah so pick butterfly click through to that wikipedia then pick another click through um five times yeah then he said so he wrote butterfly down he wrote whatever whatever whatever then he said what was your number again peter peter five the fifth letter of every one of those click through links that had words that i'd picked spelt peter oh my god that is see that's done my head and all it like that is great and i it was completely at rant.

43:52Abbey Clancy: It was just naughty, wasn't it? Yeah, the one that got me was Lib, right? So he said, pick a number. Yeah. Four. And then next person, pick a number. 130. Right, next one, pick a number. 700. Well, he made the whole group have it on the calculator on the phone. But we're all going, right, times. Yeah. Times that. So bear in mind, no, everyone's picking their own numbers. Then he goes to Lib, type in, press times, and then type in any number. He held his phone. Upside down. So Lib's doing that. Just went like that. With the number like that. And then it was like, Times 26, whatever she wrote. And then he turned it over and pressed equals.

44:25And it said 24, 08, 10, 16.

44:36Abbey Clancy: So it was the 24th of August. 25th of August. And the time was 10, 16. Yeah. That was the time on our phone. And that date. So 25 million. Look, it was 455 times 23 plus 4, 227 plus 25 million, whatever that is. And then he just pressed equal. So we've all done that. All random numbers he went right, times this. It was the date. It was the year, the date, and the exact time. Frigging hell. That's actually magic. That's magic, isn't it? Magic. That is mad. Aliens. I had to take a picture of my watch to show the time. It was just nuts. Wow. He was phenomenal. If anyone ever gets a chance to go and see him, we should get him on the pod, actually.

45:23Abbey Clancy: See if he'll teach us a few tricks. I thought he didn't share the secrets. He's got a fucking online course. He's got it, yeah. But he got kicked out the magic circle. Yeah. Unreal. Very good, very good. So, well, you're glad to be back then? Glad to be back, but not glad to be back. So we came in last night. The house is pristine. Then I've just proceeded to open six suitcases. I've got all the washing to do. meanwhile there's a million you know I've got to do all the you know it's back to school all the sewing on the labels and my friend Riley sending me the most horrendous pictures of hair labelled every single pencil do you one will you from my kids these days last night right last night they were sending each other their pencil cases that's going to be gone by week three by the way but do you know what but do you know what I laugh because you know Riley's doing this for her eldest and it's her first kid who's the same age as Jack.

46:19Abbey Clancy: Yeah. So by this point, I'm just rooting through the jaws. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got to throw the pencil case to Jack. But with Sophia, everything was labelled, everything was hand-embroidered. Yeah, that runs out very quickly. No, but it's just so much. Talk about taking them out now. Year one, two, somewhere else. So much to organise. But I'm glad for that. I think they need routine now. Agreed. Okay, before we jump into the rest of the pod, I think this feels like a pretty good place to take a break and listen to our sponsors. Yeah. And if you are enjoying this content, because it is top quality content, by the way, hit follow, it makes sense, and share it with your friends.

46:56All right, babe, should we get some money?

46:58Abbey Clancy: I've missed these. I have, actually. I have. Hi, Ab, Pete and Ross. I need to hear your honest thoughts, please. Please help a sister out. Me and my partner have been together for about two years. Our relationship's great. We're completely in love, and you guessed it. However, right at the beginning, I knew how mad he was about me, how much he fancied me and made me feel amazing and just completely loved me. He once made a comment of the fact that when he's out, he doesn't feel a need to look around or who's in the same place as him because he knows what he's got is amazing. Like his eyes don't wonder.

47:30Is that a bit of a red line?

47:31Abbey Clancy: And rightly so. Likely story. Yeah, we've all said that. But now, every time we're out, I see a pretty woman coming towards us or someone in clothing that I know he will like. I see him look, which is fair enough. We all look and now when we see a good looking person that doesn't bother me but he will look her up and down more than once then when she approaches he looks again he can't just look at her and think yeah she's pretty then be done with it he will wait and then get another proper look or turn and pretend he's looking at something else to look again for ages it's so obvious I know it's going to happen and hence why I look at him and I see it every time it just makes me feel like fucking shit I dread to think what it's like when I'm not there as he does it so blatantly in front of me I've brought it up before and he just fucking flat out lies and says he doesn't then gets mad and defensive with me as I said if I was if it was just a look as someone was passing fine but it's not he's getting a fucking you do that I always up and down I always see you you know when I'm you're like after you like leaving somewhere I've noticed when you do that and I'm like no I've noticed you because you think and I haven't even seen the person you're referring to.

48:46No, because you're waiting

48:47Abbey Clancy: for me to walk out so you can have another look. I know you think that. Yeah, but it's because it's true. Do you know self-consciously, right? I know. She's going, I'm thinking, go on babe, and I've just been brought up to allow the lady to leave first, right? Shut up. That's what you do. You go like after you, surely, right? No, you're like, actually, so I can have another look. Every time I go after you, I think I'm doing a lovely gesture. She goes, I know your fucking game. I'm like, I'm so flabbergasted as to what you're actually talking about the difference is the difference is I don't care and the thing is actually when I do do that and then she's I can see her lingering I go oh there must be a fit girl in here and I end up looking I end up going oh where is she oh there so you're actually creating a huge problem for yourself on the sleep oh yeah she is kind of fit I wouldn't even joke he doesn't alright I'm in love with this man but it makes me happy and we are fab together.

49:40It's the only thing that gets me down and makes me feel horrible about myself and I can't get it off my mind. Do I get over it and not pay attention? Although, even the thought of that makes my stomach turn now. Or do I bring it up again? I hate to start the argument. I pretty much know how it will go. It's really getting on my tips and actually upsetting me. Love you all. Fellow Scouser here. Love the pod, Jodie.

50:04Abbey Clancy: Oh. I think it's just life, isn't it? It is. you've got to bring it up if it's too much like that you've got to say just say it just be like you've got to bring that in I don't think men stop it they're like no dogs where they'll be going to sniff each other's bums that's what men are like for looking at girls they number one don't know they're doing it number two can't help it or you know that's what we're led to believe as women keeping them on their toes a little bit no I don't think it's I don't think it's even as deep as mind games I just think men are perverts yeah and that's that that needs to be like one of the quotes on the thumbnail it is I don't think it's as deep as that I'm energy perverts you just need to get old and don't care yeah oh yeah you still care I don't do care absolutely do not do care about me babe I couldn't care less you can look at anyone you want do you mess up you're the world's worst the fact that you hover around after the meal because I know what you're gonna do think I'm gonna let you go and then look You do that?

51:06Abbey Clancy: I've seen you do it loads of times. Let her go.

51:13Here you go, babe.

51:17Disgusting. It's just not happening. Genuinely not happening. That is totally in your head, that. She should start doing the same to him. She should start walking past fellas and going, do you know what I mean? Play him in a song game. Oh my God. It's a feel of them. What's there? What are they? It's muscle.

51:38Abbey Clancy: if i did that to a guy you would kill me what did what if i walked past went you'd absolutely you would drop dead you'd kill me i'm not saying you do this you do this

51:58Abbey Clancy: hi abby and pete my dad is newly divorced and has thrown himself back into the dating scene and now he's dating someone who is 27 and I'm 28 she's sweet but she wears my brand of perfume and follows me on Instagram even she even asked if we should do a girly brunch sometime I can't tell if I want to scream cry or ask her for skincare tips am I being uptight or is this just too weird cheers Georgia I think this happens a lot like doesn't it the thing is if your dad does start dating again someone who isn't your mum you don't want a replacement mum so you might as well get a replacement like sister yeah do you know what i mean it could be positive yeah i suppose if you went away and stuff with them and you end up getting on with them yeah you know might be all right but yeah it's weird this dad's gotta be at least late 50s gotta be loaded honey his dad must be loaded

53:01Abbey Clancy: you may just be hung like a donkey essentially yeah some people some girls like the older guy yeah it's a few dishy ones I think you've got to take people who has to come if she's a nice person she's nice do you know what I mean but if she starts like what would you do if your dad went out with a 27 year old sugar up top

53:25Abbey Clancy: if my dad starts going out with a 27 year old or even a 40 year old for that matter I don't think you'd like it even a 39 year old I'd be like oh dad what are you doing well it's the same situation so it's a year younger than 38 yeah for you yeah it's not great as if but I'd rather it's if she starts trying to be your mother and she's like 27 go to bed yeah yeah it's 10 o 'clock get to bed you we're gonna have a little push your teeth it's adult time now imagine make sure you make that bed in the morning lazy cow imagine you've got college this morning yeah college

54:11Abbey Clancy: making a pack lunch for work putting the covers off you get up you lazy bitch

54:20yeah

54:20Abbey Clancy: yeah that's a bit much hey pete and abby hoping you can help me here it's not the most dramatic of agony of agony abs um ever read on the podcast but it's but my evenings forward slash life are being ruined all the same and i could do with your words of wisdom basically my boyfriend narrates films i'm not joking every time i we watch something he talks like he's the director watch this bit this is the bit where it gets good this is the bit where it gets good I can see it too you dope it's like he needs the world usually only me to validate that he's actually seen the film and has a good takes on them no pun intended I've paused the telly mid sentence to glare at him it doesn't work help me silence the Spielberg inside him before I throw the remote at him Hannah people do do you I do I had a little problem with that when I was a kid did you when I was like I'm talking 9 10 years old you know like if I'd seen a film when everyone was watching I was like I'm so excited you're not going to believe this watch this now I'm going to shut up and I couldn't control it I'll be like oh but this is great this I think that's a boy thing our Sean used to do that as well I've got vague memories of me the ones you know what I mean our Sean used to know the whole we'd be watching it and like we used to watch Big Trouble in Little China like a million times which is a cracker but he would he would say the words as it's on so they'd be like who are you talking to I'm talking to you like yeah yeah and say every single word it's just driving me mad by the end we get it you've seen it yeah but what makes me laugh is Stacey when you're telling her a story she's mouthing it to you like that go ahead so talk to me now yeah tell me a story well once upon a time I went down to the shop and she's like too excited to get it out of here how the hell are you doing that in real time I know she does it and she's like she can't wait to get it out and I'd like say see it's wearing and she's like laughing and she's hysterically laughing and she says her mum does it as well that's good I love that yeah it is good the nice idiosyncrasy of someone yeah funny that isn't it I just throw the most and I'm telling them to shut up yeah yeah yeah that needs to stop so we're not 12 now yeah we know you've seen it give us the little synopsis say if we should watch it what's the like kind of one over on each other oh I've seen this too bad sister there is something like that I've seen it first yeah I see the fact yeah it's a weird one that isn't it I can honestly say I've never watched a film and I'd felt like I've had one over the person because I'd seen it before I'm normally like I'm not watching this but I've already seen it yeah I do get a buzz out of it but do you know but do you know what other times what men have to deal with I think more than women women talk and see it about random stuff while the film's on do you know what I mean your mum's terrible for that she'll talk to you for half an hour and then she'll go anyway what's going on here what's this about and you're like I don't know because she's been gabbing to me for half an hour.

57:14Yeah. That is a, I feel that that's a female trait. She could just start doing that too and gabbing his head off about Stacey from work or whatever and then he'll go, will you shut the fuck off? I'm trying to watch this and then she can go, no, you know what it feels. Yeah. Why do you guys do that?

57:31Abbey Clancy: Guys? Girls, yeah. Famously. Like you just, you do, it's like you can't sit down and watch a film. You're still doing the same things. Yeah, yeah. Me, Lucinda and Raya doing a little girly watch along next week for the final of the summer turned I turned pretty although fucking Lucinda sent a spoiler that's not the high school drama thing is it is it yeah I've heard people watching this it's so good the book's good I need more SEX Anna said that it's a bit tame yeah you like wake up and roll over like that hey beautiful I want to see more action do you know what I mean yeah a bit more adult I told you that time we all did a girly watch along to the 50 shades of grey no and um one of our friends illegally downloaded it and we got the censored version not one bit of it not one bit of SCX there's no point of that not one bit of nudity or SCX throughout the whole thing and you just see them like close the door or like put the put the bloody knickers back on you're like what what the hell's going on here pulling it off this is supposed to be pure filth where's the filth that's hilarious very good I will have missed the agony abs great stuff isn't it missed the whole pod good to be back good to be back loaded with content oh yeah I think we should do a full back to school well yeah there's a lot of content I've been writing quite a bit down I've just been noticing like you know when you get back and it's all about back to school now.

59:10Abbey Clancy: So you've been noticing while sitting there with your cup of tea and you're doing everything running around. Before this, I'd have got six lots of washing on. Did you? Yeah. Fair play. He was fannying about in his office. Fannying about? Yeah, he just sits in there hiding. Getting my boy ready for football camp. Taking him to football camp. I had to coach her now. This is what I have to do now. I have to coach her into making breakfast for me. So she makes this chucking thing that I love and I said, do you mind making me a chucky egg? I can tell she's got no intention of doing that. So what I do, I boiled the pan, put the eggs in it, got the toast all sorted, put the butter there.

59:46You fucking made your own breakfast pizza. Yeah, I basically put it there, but then I like the way she makes it. So everything was all going. And then it's like, well, I'm going to have to finish that now.

59:55Abbey Clancy: Mash that egg for me. It's literally a knob of butter. I literally tricked her into making me. I had a few messages about the old chucky egg. I had a lot of messages about chucky egg. I was busy this morning. It's not like, we're not back into the routine yet. when we're in the routine next week when we're in our routine and the kids go back to school you will be getting breakfast at this precise moment I'm too busy too much to do too much to do I've got to empty all those cupboards if you believe that you'll believe anything empty all those I've got when do you never when are you actually not emptying cupboards I need to I was supposed to before summer and I didn't get around to it so now I'm going to September Remember, it's a clean start.

1:00:37Do you know we're like, we're on a 10-day holiday, right? We've got, I reckon we're three days in. I've got a pack. I've got a pack soon. We're up to go home.

1:00:50ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

1:00:58Abbey Clancy: What if you laughed all through your commute? Or if you heard the funniest story while at the gym? Well, now you can. I'm Jameeda Jamil, and guests on my new podcast, Wrong Turns, share their most mortifying and hilarious disaster stories. I'm talking people like Mae Martin, Bob the Drag Queen, Catherine Ryan, Jake Johnson, Margaret Cho, Simon Pegg, Penn Badgley, and so many more. So listen wherever you get your podcast, Wrong Turns, where dignity goes to die.

1:01:28Abbey Clancy: Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Listen to this Acast show ad-free on Amazon Music with your Prime membership or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Go home! I wouldn't have even unpacked on the 10th day holiday. neck yeah no one's allowed to touch anything yeah kids aren't allowed to go near I have to get their outfits out because he just rummage alright well listen stay posted for the for a back to school pod we'll see you we'll see you next time am I really dull yes