The First Portugal Episode Gets VERY Honest

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2:38Obligado Hey guys, if you're enjoying our content please like and subscribe Ask me anything Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch Ask Me Anything with me, Abbie Clancy And me, Peter Crouch And me, The Gaz The Gaz You're not going to believe you're not going to believe who texted me today Max and he called me the clans he's like hey the clans how are you doing I want to invite you to our party and I said we can't because we're here in sunny Portugal how beautiful it is by the way absolutely stunning I know looking around it's lovely and you look stunning too you told me off camera you thought you looked I look like a boy today because I've got my sister to do my bloody hair and I've got Helen to do my makeup.

3:30So I'm like totally disheveled. I think it's a cool vibe, by the way. It's a cool vibe. You're cool. Well, I'm just coming from the animal shelter. I'm just scruffy. I think you look very cool. I look like a Cuban pimp today. You do look good at all. Yeah. Oh my God. It's a vibe, isn't it? It's a vibe. You need my gold chain. I look like a cartel. Yeah. Roaming around. Have you got the white linens on? I've got the white linens, mate. Can I just ask what colour your underpants are? Oh, yeah. Great shout. Because I can't stand it when men wear white linen trousers with a black undie. Do you know why?

4:05I don't think, because we don't often, well, I don't think I've ever... You did have VPLs? ...worn, yeah, like white linen. You can't even talk to me about one. Depends after what I saw you in this one. Oh, yeah. I got caught in my baggy ones today. Oh, no. Basically, at a rah-rah scare time. I was going to golf really, really early, right? And I think, you know, that time of day is usually having your sleep time. fuck. No, it is because I'm leaving very early, right? No, we were both up at 6am this morning, so don't even lie. Well, I mean, I got up very early and I thought, this is a safe space for me to put on the baggy, comfortable golf undies.

4:40But they're like A-line? They are. They are. It was like a raw basket. Oh, I'd love to see that. They're shocking. They are bad undies. I've got a bit. Balls hanging out the bottom. Wait, so you wear them, you wear them specifically for? I was specifically for golf. Just when I don't think anyone's going to see me. I'm okay. Because they're so comfortable. Like, they're just beautiful. We do need to offer underwear kit. Well, I feel like... Like, big time. You remember at that age where you think it's kind of comfort? That's me, no. I don't want these tight, you know, ballies on anymore. I pride...

5:14Like, I have always had an underwear fetish. Okay. Like, since I was a teenager, I've been, like, head to toe. You have always had good underwear. Agent Provocateur, Victoria's Secret. like I love lapela I love love love my underwear but now I'm like ooh these are a bit tight I'm getting a bit of a you know a bit of a lacy wedge that I don't need and I'll go straight straight to that nude M &S high leg Brazilian brief Brazilian brief they're like silk though aren't they you know what I mean they're seamless so they're just so comfy and they've got a big big gusset oh my god I love that we're straight into it you're killing everyone's dream here babe I'm like I'm like Khloe Kardashian when she complained I've seen killing the dream she complained to Kim Kardashian that the gusset was too narrow so then you get like a front bum wedge oh my god no one wants that you need like a a decent girth on your gusset do you the girthy gusset nowadays am I shattering dreams yeah a little bit I think it is I reckon half my audience has switched off now that's it unsubscribe that's it done like Lincoln vomit what so we never got to the bottom of Gaz's underwear I am putting elastic on it but I think comfort's key especially when you've got an active lifestyle you're in the gym you're walking the dogs you want you want a comfy knicker preach preach this stuff same with boxers you know what I mean sometimes there is there is room for the wide the wider situation what's wrong with the old Calvins you've got no excuse they're baggy enough they're nice Why do you need this extra baggage?

6:55No, I don't. They were just the ones that were in there. And I thought, oh, they'll do. Because no one's going to, you know. They'll do. They will do. Because I'm going to golf. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's no issue, is it? No one's going to see me. So going back to you guys, what colour are you on these? To answer that question, I am always black. I don't think men own any other colour, really. I like a man in a white boxer. Do you own a few white boxers? White boxers would go with the linen. Yeah. No, you could do with my little M &S nude brief in there. that you would know VPS. Next episode, right.

7:25I'll rock that. Maybe lend him some. Cheers. I'll lend you some. Appreciate it. The dreams are back on. The dreams are back on. Because Pete's always so tanned. He's got that golden skin. He's literally tanned all year round. I love you in a white boxer when you're fresh out the shower. You've got your lovely long hair wet. Nice white boxer. White boxer with a tan. That's not what I get though. I get the fucking dry comb over. And the baggy, baggy, rah, rah boxy. Do you want to go to town on what, on what we get? Yeah. Yeah. The dream and the reality. Is that what you want? Because I get the double, the double, um, locked fleece dressing gown.

8:08Oh yeah. Double locked. Front and back. No, because the belt's so long, a tie at the front, a tie at the back. Right. Oh my God. It's a double lock. Are you strapped into like a NASA? I went to Primark. The Primark here in Portugal is like Selfridges. like I've you know really it's immaculate that the way it's set up is just phenomenal and I went the other day um and I forgot to bring my fleece dressing gown here to Portugal even though it's like 26 degrees I was like I still need it it's just my comfort yeah yeah and I saw this big white fleece one XL I thought yes straight in my basket straight in my basket and I bloody left at the till because the kids were going mad i had two bags full of stuff and when i got home i'm like where's the fucking dressing gown oh she didn't get it no and when i went back the next day it had gone it was just a one-off on its own so someone's lounging around in that now and i'm well gel it's one of those i said to the kids like it's sweets for all if you get rid of that dressing gown no more double locking in this house you know we packed here i came with 12 cases I haven't got a pair of knickers I haven't got any gym gear 12 cases 12 cases we bought two each when we first arrived the weather was a bit dodge I didn't bring one hoodie or tracksuit for the kids just the height of summer because we originally packed for the Maldives and our flights got cancelled through Qatar because of everything that's what's going on in the Middle East so I'd already packed for the Maldives which is like caftans, no shoes, nothing.

9:49So we've arrived, we've got no shoes, no underwear, seven million bikinis, and that's it. And we need normal clothes, you know? Of course. Of course. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, well, okay, should we get into some AMAs? Is that for you, though? No, not at all, no. I enjoyed the packing chat. Okay. AMA! I think you're still stuck on a girthy gusset. Is that where your head's still? A girthy gusset? Not that I've got any girth to my gusset. No, so, yeah. It's just a comfort thing. I get it. I get it. Every girl listening to this will agree. Yeah. Well, listen. The hottest girls on the planet, whatever, they will all agree.

10:28Agreed. No one wants a skinny gusset. The size of the bugs you get around here, by the way. I don't know if you saw that on camera for the visual. I saw that hovering above your head. I wasn't sure if I was going to tell you or not. Yeah. I decided not to. I'm used to being around cockroaches.

10:42Very good. Okay. All right. Terry says, hi Pete and Ab, love the podcast, fellow Scouser here. Just a question with you having two of each, boys and girls, which ones do you prefer to parent or find easier than the other? I've gone from two girls having a boy and wow, it feels like I've got 10 kids now. He's into everything. My heart is in my mouth 24-7 with the no fear and the wildness of a boy. Just wondered your view on it. Okay, so I will just start this answer with Pete, only parents one of our children. and that is Jack because Jack wants to play golf Jack wants to play football Jack wants to ride his bike Jack wants to watch the football and all the others and me have got no interest so yeah yeah but surely I don't know I don't think it's a bad thing to enjoy spending time with a child no you know I enjoy spending time with all of mine yeah but I do you know they're all individual they're all different Sophia's you know she's 15 now she's six foot tall she's like a supermodel and she is very, she's a good girl.

11:51You know, she works hard. She's doing her GCSEs at the moment. She's doing full-time tennis. She's very good. Libs exactly like me. She's got a little bit of a wild streak. She just wants to be a mom. She's got a little dog. And then Johnny's just idolises his sister. So wants to do everything she does. So I normally have the three of them. and pete as jack doing some kind of footbally golfy activity yeah but like no with regards to i understand that because uh sid's obviously as you know on uh peter crouch pod yeah you know he had three boys and then a girl at the end oh did he and he just couldn't believe because i i once when we traveled we traveled to stoke on the train and i brought sophia with me one day to training and he just couldn't get his head around is before he had um his little girl yeah he couldn't get because he had three boys he couldn't get his head around so she's just going to sit and draw for this journey sit and colour in yes she sat and she had a colouring book and she just coloured and was you know nice and studious and he went why is she not running up and down this train trying to fight each other and like you know jump out of the train that's so true that's just what I suppose boys are like our boys are at that phase now where they're literally battering each other and I've never had that with the girls because when we had Sophia and Lib, there's like a four to five year age gap.

13:12And then when they had baby Johnny, they would just nurture him and look after him and mollycoddle him. And then when we had Jack, for about a year now, they've started to kill each other. The other day, like I met a friend and they decided to have a full fist fight in front of them. It was the first time I was meeting their friends. They were like, look at your children. And I was like, honestly, they're so good. Like, I don't know. And I'm like, Jack, this is the first time we've met our new friends. And he's like, I don't care. And I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, but it's definitely a boy thing.

13:42Yeah, I get that side of it. And then two seconds later, they're fine, but it's actually new to me because they didn't do it as babies. But girls, I think it can be difficult in other ways as well. Do you know what I mean? Go on. In what kind of capacity? Well, in ways that girls are difficult. Throughout their time. I'm not difficult. You're not at all, babe. You're the exception to the rule. Rachel has sent one in Okay I love you You're fantastic You are the anomaly Really are Right, it's the perfect time To hear from our sponsors And if you're enjoying this Then please like and subscribe Have you ever been stuck On a weight loss plateau?

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15:05Individual results may vary. Meds and personalization based on clinical need. Not reviewed by FDA for safety, efficacy, or quality. No affiliation with Novo Nordisk, Inc., the only U.S. source of FDA-approved semaglutide. Not available in all 50 U.S. states. IDTech is more than just the original and most trusted tech camp for kids ages 7 to 17. IDTech is where kids find their people. The engineering and creating people. The fire-breathing, shell-spinning, battle-bots people. The just-as-happy building games as they are playing them people. ID Tech offers over 50 epic courses like Camp Crunch Labs IRL, BattleBots with Take Home Bots, and more at 75 college campuses across the country.

15:45Visit IDTech.com and use code IDTech to save$150 on a week that's guaranteed to be the highlight of your kid's summer. Pete Avangaz, just caught up with your podcast where you talked about a couple falling over, are falling out over discovering each other's body counts. My daughter asked me years ago. Body counts? Yeah. Awesome. It was a list. Yeah, that couple who had the list of each other's conquest. I hate that. The term's pretty clinical. Body counts as well. You read the rest, yeah. It's kind of what she... My daughter asked me years ago what mine was. I didn't get until hearing your episode.

16:26Up until now, I thought it was for murderers. Yeah. Why does it have such a dodgy name? Oh my God. She's literally just nailed body count. I've never heard body count since Gaz has come to this pod. He has enlightened us on some of these, like what was that, cluck view or something? The cuck. I can't believe you've never heard a cuck before. Cuck alert. Is it cuck alert? Well, it's just, yeah. I don't even know what that means. Let's tread back into cuck territory. I've forgotten what it means. I know what you mean. He's lowering the tone. Yeah, and something else you said. I like to keep you guys in with the lingo.

17:04And then body count. These are not normal terms, guys. Are these not terms you hear every day? She stole him with his black undies and his linen white trousers, didn't she? I hadn't even thought of the black undies linen trousers thing until now. Oh, God. Just stand up for me and just bend over. I totally know. He's hiding with the laptop. I'm off to Primark after this. I'm going to get some whiteys. Tighty whiteys. It's happening. Yeah, body count is disgusting. I heard of like, is it like notches on the bedpost or something like that? Yeah, I think that makes more, I think that's a more PC term.

17:39Is that notches on the bedpost? Yeah, but that's probably 1980. But you see, I don't even get that as a term. So what is a notch on the bedpost? Well, you just knock one off. That's another one on the bedpost. Notch one off. Yeah, you're literally just notching it. So you're just putting like a line in it. Etching in the bedpost. What are we notching? There's another one. What are we notching? Well, the body count. See, there we go. What part of the bed are we not? Because I'm thinking like a bed knobs and brooms. That's how old fashioned the term is. That's what I'm thinking. But it's also, you know, it is for serial killers as well.

18:13You know, like, so, well, I imagine if you're sitting down, you're interviewing, say, what's the body count? You know, how many? Body count? I think it might be. I'm still on notches on the bed post. I'm just saying if I'm interviewing a murderer, you know, it's like how many more are there? What's the body count? you know so then it feels a bit sinister that term you know he's so right it's just what's that film Zodiac about the Zodiac killer it's like his body count is now at 500 or something like that you're right yeah so now we've equated that to sexual partners yeah it just feels like that shouldn't be the term we need a new term what do people say other than body count or notch on the bed post previous partners previous partners it's got a ring to it oh yeah that feels Shaggies Shaggies I like shaggies I think the word shag needs to come back a bit more Does it?

19:04Yeah I always say shag Shag is good It's pretty harmless Previous partners It's very It's a bit woke isn't it Previous partners is a bit PC It is a bit PC A bit woke We've got one Games girl We've got one Games girl What's the other one There must be a Er

19:25Lays Lays Lays. Previous, did you say previous, I don't know. Oh my God, yeah. I've never used the word lay. Lay. By the way, that just knocks me sick. Yeah, that's pretty icky. I think lays is quite nice. Lays? Let's rebrand. Let's go lays. Can I just, can I just, on this note. The Christmas in Portugal are called lays? Yeah, the Spanish walkers and the Portuguese, yeah. Why is that daughter asking her about it? That's, you know what, that's a really good thing to pick up on. I don't think that's a dodgy. I think a daughter and a mum is a different scenario. I don't think that's a dodgy thing.

19:54Like, you know, if a daughter comes to a mum and is asking advice, what should you do? And, you know, what did you do my age? How many guys, how many body counts are acceptable? How many bed friends? Bed friends? No, Pete. How many lays? Bed friends? Bed friends? Ugh. I don't know. I'm just thinking of terms. What's the actual term that normal human beings use? Pregnance partners, I think. And counters? sexual encounters sexual liaisons sexual liaisons prior to your current husband I think sexual encounters is a good one encounters encounters sounds almost a little bit like encounters it sounds sinister again it's sinister again I think encounters sounds a bit a bit romantic liaisons liaisons no liaisons is like sexual liaisons sounds like a chore to me chore when are we liaising we're not ever again as soon as you said sure I'll use it we'll get people to write in send you suggestions yes exactly just give us your term give us your term send us in a term fantastic there is a term but I can't think of it you read one and I'll get another term for you okay this message is from Kim good morning guys and girl listening to last week's pod of you changing song lyrics and adding rude words.

21:25I think you should try this one. Change the word dance to W-A-N-K. Lots of fun for this one. My personal favorite is Luther Vandross, How I'd Love to... W-A-N-K was my father again. Enjoy Kim from Basin. Now this has gone big guns, this whole thing lately. I want to wank with somebody. So what's she changing the word? Dance to wonk. Dance to wank. Wank for me, wank for me, wank for me. Wank for me, wank for me, wank for me. Yeah, nice. What's that? Shut up and wank with me. That's again, I don't know who that is. I've had mates of mine come up to me about this and like, you've got pipes, some serious pipes.

22:14They were like, you've got to end the show or something with a sing-off, like a karaoke vibe. Someone sent me Tyson Fury and Paris Fury singing Shallow. Was it any good? Were they good? It was good. Surprisingly good. Okay. Not as good as us. Yeah, there you go, see. Unfortunately. Don't put us on me. No, because you were better than Tyson. No, I don't know about that. Nick, do you want to see it? What, Shallow? Yeah, do you want to see it? Can we play it? Yes, play it. We might have to mute it. We'll get your reactions, though. I'm falling And in the bad times I find myself longing I love him, by the way.

22:56He's great.

22:59She's great. She's got pipes. She's off key, but she... She can sing, but she's out of tune. Go on, Brian. Get on there. Go on, Mariah.

23:18She's great. She is good, but she's off key. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, go on then. Show us on key. Yeah, go on.

23:31Sort of milking it at this point.

23:37She can sing, but she is off key. She is off key. I love Paris Fiori, and I am not dissing her. she can sing but she's off key on that one I'm sorry was it just her and Tyson in that video I could hear another man was it John was it John in the background imagine singing for John Fury imagine no John Fury the dad I love the dad I love all of them what do we say I'll fight any man born of his mother he's like that he's a proper born of his mother good impression they are great we no I'm doing it give us your best no you can't say someone's off key and then not I need some wine not sing it any wine No, I will do it.

24:17We'll do it together. We'll do it together. I feel like you've got to end this. We're almost wrapping up. You've got to end it with a sing song, surely. I just don't want to... I've just Googled a few songs with dance in it. Go on. You should be wanking.

24:34Wanking. Yeah. That's a wanking kind of pitch as well, isn't it? Yeah. What's a wanking kind of pitch? Wanking queen.

24:45Only 70. Amazing. Do you want to do one more, babe? That's a good game, though. That was Kim from Basingstoke. Taz says, hey, guys, my question is, I'd love to know what a day in the life of Abby's work looks like. A typical week of work and life. She often talks about different things she's doing for work, but I'd love to know how a standard day or week looks. This sounds like a bit of a piss take. No. Do you think? Yeah. Or like, love you guys to keep me entertained. Is that like, oh, I'd love to know what Abby does to work, a.k.a. nothing. I don't think it's that. Or is that like, what do you actually fucking do?

25:24I think there's a genuine interest. There's a genuine interest. So this could sound... A bit condescending. Yeah, like, what the fuck does she do all day? I'll tell you what I fucking do all day. But I know that our listeners, they love you, so they actually want to know. Okay, so on a general day, if I haven't got a work, and by work I mean a photo shoot, a brand thing or podcast, so a normal day for me would be up at six, shower, go down before the rest of the house wakes up, make breakfast, get the dogs, let the dogs out, feed the dogs. You just know you're lying. You've literally barefaced.

26:09She couldn't keep it in. She couldn't have looked at you. She looked at me and went, I'm not. Okay, okay, the dog. Just stop saying. Okay, the dog. I don't. All right, I don't do the dog. So six to seven. Six, seven. Six, seven. No. Oh, God, what bug is it? Okay, I don't do the dogs. Let's do it. I don't do the dogs. Let's try and do it without lying. No, I'm not. Babe, please. Like, it's just so annoying. Babe, you'd want to laugh first. I am laughing because I don't do the dogs, so that's why I laugh. No, so I am laughing because I don't do the dogs. So we'll both get up at six. I'll get a shower.

26:42I'll get down before the kids are getting up. Then I'll get breakfast ready. Then I'll make sure all the bags are ready, which I actually do the night before. Nice. They can vouch for that one. Yeah, that's true. Pack all the bags, lay all the uniforms out. That's all ready. Then it's a two-man job for the school run. So it'll either be me and Peter or me and Maddie. Then I will go home, clean up, because I have got severe OCD. then I will either go food shopping I'll go and ride my horse I'll go to the gym then I might go and maybe see my friends for a quick coffee before pick up then I'll pick the kids up I'll feed them I'll take them to all the relevant clubs so there'll be tennis football dance which is all tag team as Pete as well by the way because we have got four kids and that's what's your work day look like?

27:37and then a work day is is trickier because normally work for me would start if it's a shoot for example it would normally be like a 7am leave so i'll have to pre-plan the day before get all the kids ready get all the uniforms ready and laid out for peter to do then i'll go to work all day and that might be a photo shoot so that'll be a couple of hours in hair and makeup then a shoot all day there may be interviews then home and then when i come home pete and the kids are normally starving to death because he doesn't have to cook so i'll have to cook dinner after that clean up he'll probably take the kids up to the bath while i'll clean the kitchen and then i'll meet him upstairs put half of the kids in the pajamas brush your teeth and put them to bed and then me and pete will probably open a bottle of wine have a couple of drinks and go to bed just slip the bonk beats on yeah and then play a few tunes that's it He should be wanking, wanking.

28:37You bought a day. Very apt, that. Wanking yourself, fuck it up. Very apt. I don't want any part of that. Thank you very much. It's been an absolute delight. Show blast today. Thanks for listening. Sums out, thumbs out. Goodbye. Ask me anything. Shabbat.

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