The Genie Queen’s Speech - A Therapy Crouch Christmas Broadcast

0:00Hello and welcome to The Therapy Crouch. with me, King Crouch. Today alongside me is Jeannie Queen Abby who will give Therapy Crouch Christmas speech. Thank you, darling. Please proceed. At Christmas, it is customary to pause, reflect and look back on the year that has passed. A year of change. A year of growth. And in many cases, a year of icks. Across the nation, people have once again gathered with loved ones, sometimes willingly and sometimes because it felt rude not to, to eat, drink and quietly to judge one another's behaviour. And nowhere has this been more apparent than from within the therapy crouch community, wouldn't you say, King?

0:52Absolutely. This year, many of you have written to us with matters of the heart. Not the big, dramatic gestures, but the small things. The leg dangling from a bar stool. The phrase she's thirsty when filling up a car. The man who runs for a bus. These moments may seem insignificant. But as we have learned, it is often the smallest habits that give us that bloody egg. Oh, dastry, darling. We have seen great bravery. Listeners who arrived at social gatherings dressed as entirely in bondage gear, having widely misjudged the tone. Those navigating relationships where one partner is operating on a completely different sexual rhythm.

1:43Nightmare! One ready for a bonk beat, the other already asleep, clutching the remote and watching the same episode of their comfort show for the sixth time. Six, seven. Music as ever has remained a unifying force. For some, comfort was found in Simply Red. Hear, hear. For others, you too. Hear, hear. And for the truly courageous garage anthems played far too loudly and far too late, we have learned that a bong beat is not always about S.E.X. Sometimes it is simply the song that reminds us of who we are. this year also reminded us of the importance of storage some of you discovered unexpected items when moving in with a partner a drawer you wish you would never have opened a box you were not meant to see the contents the squat box a container whose contents shall never be discussed at the dinner table taught us that mystery in a relationship is sometimes if not always essential as did the incredible gulp.

2:51A relic from the past. A DVD with no explanation. And frankly, no need for one. Throughout the year, we have reflected on red flags and beige flags. The red flags shout and the beige flags quietly whisper. But this will annoy you forever. And yet, love persists. We have to embrace the power of language. The phrases grow up, deployed sparingly, but with purpose. And, don't get me started, a diplomatic tool used to avoid intellectual conversation when you're simply too tired. These phrases, when used correctly, can prevent arguments. Or start them immediately. At the heart of everything this year was connection.

3:45the weekly wines the shared laughter the comforting knowledge that somewhere out there someone else is also quietly furious about something very small so as the year draws to a close let us remember that none of us are perfect we all have our X our beige flags our questionable storage solutions but we can laugh together preferably with a glass of wine in hand then perhaps we're doing alright from all of us the clans Cardi B and Tudor Bob Ross wishing you all a very very happy Christmas and if things get tense grow up well then well then what a girl Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad It's Christmas!