The Therapy Crouch AMA! Football Questions, Family Drama and One Very Awkward Mistake!

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0:30Abbey Clancy: A BetterHelp ad. Hold on. One second. I just need to...

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1:24Casual way you've said that as well

1:25Abbey Clancy: Oh God, Pedro

1:31Obligado Hi, if you're enjoying this content then please like and subscribe

1:35Abbey Clancy: Ask me anything Hello and welcome to The Therapy Crouch with me, Peter Crouch This is Abi Clancy as well Why are you taking my life? Because you are just Every minute of a break you go on the phone every single break. People need decisions. People need decisions. We need decisions. Our people need you. I'm here. Be present. I'm present. It's your sixth finger now. Sixth finger? Yeah, that phone is your sixth. It's just an extension. It's like another one. It's never off it. Okay, well, I'm not doing anything selfish. I'm just trying to... We want you. We don't want the back of the phone. All right.

2:20Abbey Clancy: I hear you. I'll take that on board do you hear me yes having said that I'm going to go into my phone for a second only because I put in my my pod notes a few things oh yeah I don't know if we're getting old or what I'm sensing abuse no no it wasn't for you it was just I remember your dad told me a story about and I don't know whether it's you know like things annoying us and the things that we like are solitary confinement like beds we were in we were in the supermarket out here do you remember I said to you and I was pushing this trolley and I'll be honest with you you know trolleys at home it's like you know this and yeah this is a posh supermarket do you remember they are though aren't they trolleys in general they're bouncing all over the place aren't they and they're shit and their wheels broke you can't turn it properly and if you get loads of stuff in there they just don't turn yeah that's true it's like turning a fucking QE2 around the aisle whereas I went into one the other day and bearing in mind it was an expensive one.

3:23I do get that. I mean, we fucking know. You've got to remortgage your house to buy a couple of prawns in there, haven't you? But it's top level. But the smoothness of the trolley. Do you remember? Do you remember I said to her, feel this. I said, have a look at that. Do you remember? The action on it. Look at that. It was just, you know, it didn't even make a sound. Oh, my God. You know that trolley sound? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like a smooth, down the aisle, like, precision. You could flick it around with one finger. Do you remember? Yeah, that is the sign.

3:58Abbey Clancy: We're getting old. Do you think? Yeah. Enjoying something like that so much. Yeah. That's so Gavin and Stacey when he pulls out the oven mitts. Do you remember that? He's like, I can't feel a thing. And they're all just, like, obsessed with the oven mitts. The oven mitts. Yeah. It's like little pleasures. Exactly right. It's so true, that. It is. Like cushions and all that. Like, oh, the fabric on that. That's what I'm trying to sort out on my phone, all that stuff. I just want everything perfect for when you come home. Thanks, babe. Your dad told me a funny story the other day as well. I wrote that in one note.

4:30Go on. He said he's been going to this chip shop his whole life, right? And he went in there and he said, I think a big bag of chips is£3.20 and a small one is£2.70, which is heavy duty now, but that's, I suppose, the prices.

4:46Abbey Clancy: I thought it was like pounds or whatever. Well, I mean, that's... Maybe in Iceland, yeah. Yeah, it should be. My mum's shop's there. But he said he went in there, right? And he said, large chips and please. And they said, it's£3.20. And he realised he only had£3. Can you not take Apple Pay? So I don't know why he didn't have his phone or whatever. This is not a real story. It's a real story. It's a real story. Well, he told me it. Okay. So he's had£3. Okay. They said, oh, you can have small chips for£2.70. and he went, well, I come in here every day, like, it's 20p, like, I can pay it next time.

5:22Yeah. He said, yeah, no. So he said it wasn't unusual, I think, to say Gary. It wasn't Gary there. It was someone else. And he was like, no, but I know Gary, you know, like, I've been coming here for years. I'm good for 20p. Yeah. That's unbelievable. No. So he said, what about if you, because I've got more than the small chips, why don't you just take a few chips out the large bit and I'll give you three pound. It doesn't work like that. Oh, that would wipe me out. It doesn't work like that. It doesn't work like that. It's small chips or it's an extra 20p. But what do you say to that? What did he do?

6:00Took small chips home. Oh, okay, he took the small chips.

6:03Abbey Clancy: What a pussy. But he told him in no uncertain terms. But it was like the other day we went to book a party for our son, Jack. Football party. This is what I was getting. Yeah, 100%. And the woman from the second we arrived in the room. So there's two types of people in this world that we come across, especially Pete. So they'll either come across, oh my God, you're Peter Crouch. You are incredible and I will do anything for you and you're wonderful. Or there's your Peter Crouch. I'm going to make your life difficult and show you who's boss. Yeah. Don't think you're anything special, which I don't think.

6:42No, he doesn't. At all. But there's people that try and bring you down to earth. Okay. Yeah, definitely.

6:47Abbey Clancy: And this little witch was one of them. And I was being so polite because here's me. I'm like, oh, I need to make sure this party's arranged for Jack. So I'm like, hi, can I book a party for my son? Here's my email address. You'll have to email me. I'm like, I've came into the office to talk to you direct. Oh, no, just send me an email. And I said, well, before I send you the email, is the date available? send me an email and I'll let you know if it's available the woman next to her said I can get it up like now nope send me an email no way so then she went how many of your guests are members at this place I said well they're all members she went okay that's fine so then she said well before that you know you're not allowed to bring any food in any drink you're not allowed to bring in your own football coaches you're not allowed to bring in ice creams you're not allowed to bring in sweets you could potentially bring in a cake but I'll have to check so I was like that's all fine all fine that's why we came in here we don't want to hire outside we came to usual facilities yeah yeah yeah but already she's starting with no no no so then we go can we go and look at the area so she said are you members and I said we're not members she said oh oh well you can't have the party there at all and you can't go and look at the area and you can't look at the area so Pete was what kind of what so Pete just flipped on her Pete just lost it did you I don't lose it often right yeah But I just said, excuse me.

8:15I said, we've come in here and everything you've said has been no, can't, and negative. Yes, yeah. From not off. Yeah. Even to the point where we can't speak to you, you've got an email, even though we're standing right in front of you and then there's no one behind us. That's a disgrace, yeah. You're not dealing with members. You're doing nothing. And we're just inquiring. Yeah. And all you've said has been negative. I was like, oh my God.

8:37Abbey Clancy: So she said, oh no, you can't book the party because you're not a member. I said, that's fine. I said, well, my best friend's a member and she will book it for me. so that's fine so can we see the area no you can't so Pete was like we can so we just walked I said if you need me I'll be down at the area I'll be down at the area if you're wondering where we're going now we're going straight to that area and I'm going to have a fucking look at it she was like that at the door and then I saw her like when we came back looking at the area I'll see her like she was kind of just her head was exploding I think she was trying to get like security to like go and see if we were checking the area.

9:13Oh, it was phenomenal. What a curmudgeon. Oh, my God. You wouldn't want to go there anyway after all that falafel. Can you imagine the hate that you have in your body to feel like that as a human? Yeah. Like, how much anger have you got boiling up in you? You meet people like that, don't you? Like, immediately, no. Just immediately, like, everything's hard work for them. Computer says no.

9:32Abbey Clancy: Regardless to whatever that negative Nelly said, the party's completely booked. Yeah. So it's going ahead. And, yeah. Just while we're on the rant, right? There are certain people in certain jobs as well, I think, that are majority like this. And not all of them, because I've met some good ones in these jobs, but like airports, like security, going through security, like, you know, the handling of the security, passport control, very much like not helpful in the slightest. 100%. And I know they probably get a little bit of grief from certain people. No, because I think it's that little tiny little bit of power they have goes to the heads in those scenarios.

10:16Abbey Clancy: But to be honest, if you're working in the airport control and you're seeing all these happy, excited people going on holiday and you're not, that would put you in a bad mood. I don't think so. I don't think so. I think you should be on board with that. Have a great day. Have a great holiday, sir. Oh, my God, where are you going? and you don't have to do it all day but come on like I think I just don't understand people that want to put a negativity into your day you know yeah what is that yeah and like go out their way to do it I got banned from an airport and they were miserable I think I can name it was Luton I think I can name it I queued like for five hours they had like no staff queued for five hours got through security went to the gate gone the plane in fact the plane was there but she was like we've shut the doors you can't come on I was like what do I do now she's like go and speak to security so I was like went back and I was looking for security couldn't find them went up to what looked like security like police I was like hi you guys security they just went do we look like security and I was like fuck me right okay alright I was like where do I go and they were like need to book another flight go outside so I went outside there was no one to take your booking and then I was like okay when's the next flight they were like don't know I was like do you have a lounge I can sit in and figure all this out they were like it's back through security so I was like right okay so I went another three hour queue and I was like I've already queued through this queue so I just ducked I ducked under security I was like they've already scanned my bag all I had in there was like a I don't know like a laptop went under and then next thing I know a gun is in my face some guy's got a gun he's like you've been a silly boy haven't you and I was like what and then two more guns and they were like where have you come from I was like just there and they were like where I was like just under there and they were like why would you do that I was like because I've already done all this and they escorted me out tried to get me like taken away no way And then the police officer, he was like, listen, you've got nothing on your file, so I'm not going to arrest you.

12:04They might want it, but I'm not. But you're going to get banned from Luton. And to be honest...

12:08Abbey Clancy: Oh my God, you're like results. He said, it's probably not a bad thing. What a shithole. Maybe I can't say that. Yes, you can. You can. You absolutely can. He said, there's worse places to be banned from. This airport is a shithole. And that was it. You flew from Luton the other day, didn't you? I actually had quite a guy's experience there. It sounds bad as Stan's dead. I did no I looked like I this you know Luton for me I I just flew through there and it was because it's because the smaller airports I just went out Southend the other day as well is that any good small there's no one there yeah do you know what I mean which I quite like what about City Airport City of London Airport that does the job you know what I mean like I think the bigger the airport like the more people bigger the problem yeah big spill big deal

12:59Oh my god Anyway I think that's kind of ran over But I think Yeah there is There is certain I just think I don't like people That just try and put Negativity in something You know we're trying to be We were so friendly and polite On that party planning Weren't we Trying to have our little boy Have a special day But you stopped being a dickhead

13:19Abbey Clancy: She was a smunt wasn't she Yes Which is a smug So guys, this seems like a perfect time to hear from our sponsors. And if you're liking what you're hearing, like and subscribe.

13:38Yep, he's planning another project. So this Father's Day at Lowe's, tap into free gifts for Dad. Get a free select Craftsman power tool when you buy a Craftsman V20 charger with 2 amp hour and 4 amp hour batteries. Plus, get a free DeWalt power tool when you buy a select 20-volt max XR 4-amp-hour battery kit. Dad knows our best lineup is here in Lowe's. Valid through 714, while supplies last. Selection varies by location.

14:09Abbey Clancy: All right, ask me some things, Pedro. I'd love to, babe. Daniel says, hi, I've just watched your interview with Clot Pete. That was amazing, I must say, as I read. But just like Jürgen said, I also prefer Therapy Crouch. getting Jürgen on to explain offside to Abby is a must Abby my question is to you if you could have one football star on Therapy Crouch to interview who would you want and why you're both legends I love both your podcasts and I love you Dan PS Crouch you're my you're my childhood I would give you a statue at Anfield statue at Anfield imagine that no there's far four more people that deserve a statue than me at Anfield you are a statue anyway I am just go and stand outside the gates I played at times like a statue but I don't deserve one if you could have a footballer on Therapy Crouch who would you have?

15:01Abbey Clancy: well I love Tony Pulis Tony Pulis? and he's very interesting she loves Tony Pulis he's a family guy so I'd love to have him and Anna's wife on she's fabulous really? Debs yeah Debs and they'd be nice to interview Klopp I just love he's just so cool is he married do we know Jürgen he's married yeah I love him because he's just cool isn't he he's a winner leader who else do I love we could get Jono on famous Glenn we love him Glenn Johnson oh really oh nice yeah he's our friend he's class yeah I don't know am I forgetting anyone that I like you went quite managerial there with Pulis and Klopp and then I guess Glenn's not a manager but what about current current not retired player someone who's like I don't know English Cristiano Cristiano no Messi Mbappe no I don't Beckham Beckham yeah what do you think about Jude Bellingham do you like him no not for me fair enough well is that bad I think he'd be great no he doesn't look very interesting I don't think no I think he's very interesting, yeah.

16:21Abbey Clancy: Well, I know he's fluent in languages. That's very impressive. But now, I want one of me stuck in a lift rhythm.

16:30I love hearing him speak Spanish in a Bromby accent. It just gives me... Who looks fun? He looks fun?

16:39Abbey Clancy: No, who seems like fun? Grealish? Yeah. Jack Grealish, yeah. Jackie Grealish. He'd be great. He'd be great, wouldn't he? I don't really know any current I don't think you've answered that with enough people I don't really know any current player was that Mourinho on oh yeah yeah is he coming back did we find it he's a Real Madrid manager it's unbelievable Real Madrid unbelievable unreal why is everyone so shocked at that well because it was like it's almost like he's had his time and he's also been manager of Real Madrid oh and yeah he's kind of got back and you know he was at Benfica and I think that's what everyone's hoping for Klopp aren't they that he's going to come back to Liverpool yeah yeah and obviously with Xabi Alonso Xabi Alonso's gone Chelsea Chelsea hasn't he oh my god see that is mad yeah the Reds are fuming that is mad why just why too much pressure maybe well being at Liverpool yeah he must have he must have had conversations with people I don't know is he a good manager Xabi yeah well he did brilliantly at Bayer Leverkusen it didn't really work for him I mean they went unbeaten like a ridiculous amount of games.

17:50He did an amazing job there. Then he went to Real Madrid, it's not worked out for him. But since, you know, it's been proven that the Real Madrid dressing room at the moment is quite fractured, difficult to manage, I would say.

18:03Abbey Clancy: And who's causing that? The players. A lot of headstrong, egos. Well, you probably, having so much eliteness in one room, it could go either way, couldn't it? they could gel or there could be too many egos and they don't work together well it's groups isn't there and clicks unfortunately it'll be hard work to manage that who plays for them well you've got like kind of Mbappe Mbappe's junior maybe and then Vinicius Drew Bellingham Trent Balverde he's fell out with him who does Jamil Jamal play for Jamil Jamal Mishala Lamin Jamal Lamin Jamal sorry he's at Barcelona okay who's Jamil Jamil again Is that a little mix or something?

18:50Jamil Jamal. Jamil Jamal.

18:53Abbey Clancy: I just hear Jack saying it all the time. It's Lamin. Lamin Jamal. Lamin Jamal. Lamin Jamal, you might have gone wrong.

19:04Abbey Clancy: Do you remember that song? No. Oh, well, okay. We'll move on to Jenny then. I need some serious help. Last week, my boyfriend and I decided we'd spice things up a little bit. Oh, God. while we're long distance by sending each other some spicy voice notes. They started off fairly tame and gradually grew into something pretty unhinged. Daddy. It was getting late and I had work in the morning, so I decided to leave it all out on the table. I was screaming, moaning, saying the filthiest things I've said in my entire life, all in an effort to get him to finish so I could go to bed. Wow. I was yawning, knackered, and sent the voice note over to him.

19:48Or so I thought. Ten minutes later, I hadn't heard from him. So I checked the chat to see if he'd listened, and it wasn't there. I was confused. Then I got a text from my mate saying, pissing myself laughing, I'd accidentally sent it to her. Mortified.

20:02Abbey Clancy: Thank God, though. Bloody hell. I don't think I'll ever be able to look her in the eyes again. Do I move towns? Cheers. I hope this makes you giggle. I just think, thank God, she sent it to a girlfriend and not like a mum or a work colleague or whatever. Because if I did that for accent to like one of my mates, that'd just be hysterical. Yeah, but like a boss or a colleague or something like that. I mean, yeah. Going into work. Or like the mums. I've sent something inappropriate on the mums group once and went down like a shit sandwich. You sent a picture of you in a bikini to my golf group as well, didn't you?

20:38Abbey Clancy: No, that sounds... By accident. no because fucking hell it wasn't me in a bikini my mate said that they fucking taking screenshots of it one of them said he'd laminated it and put it on his bedroom wall can I just say can I just say it was a picture of me and the kids on the beach it wasn't like a posy bikini pic yeah yeah yeah it's easily done isn't it it's easily done finger slit it's gone I sent you a picture of you to you when I was meant to send it to Chris earlier I sent your mum a little a bit of a A spicy message I once Do you remember? She was like Peter do you know this is me I was like oh my fucking girl Wait what's this?

21:16Abbey Clancy: Fraudulent slip I sent a message to his mum Oh no what a spicy one? Quite spicy wasn't it? Actually can't remember what it said because I didn't receive it It was along the lines of a beaver aubergine squirting emoji

21:36The casual way you've said that as well just along the lines of a beaver aubergine squirting.

21:42Abbey Clancy: Oh, God, Pedro. Along those lines. We live and we learn, eh? We live and we learn. We live and we learn. What did she come back with? When and where? I'm game. Don't tell her, Abby. Imagine. Hey, guys. I love the pod. Please, can you help me with my relationship dilemma? But please, please, please keep me anonymous. I've been with my boyfriend for four years. we get out we get on like a house on fire absolutely obsessed with each other he's my best friend we both still live with our parents i'm younger than him and i went back to university a few years ago and also paid off my debt from being with a toxic ex-partner so i don't have the savings that he does he's in his mid-30s has enough money for a house and he's been talking about moving out for the last four years when he talks about buying a house it's always when i get my house or when I move out, never we.

22:35Abbey Clancy: The issue is he also tells me that he wants to propose to me, but now he's changed his tune saying we need to live together first, even though in reality, we basically do. We spend every single day together, split our time between his parents' house and mine and have done for years. What's really bothering me is that he keeps talking about the future, but doesn't actually seem to be moving towards it. I feel as though I can't pull him on this as he's the one putting the deposit down and paying the mortgage until I can. So it's his house on paper. He has the money, but instead of making moves, he's spending it on trips, random hobbies that last 10 minutes and going out with the lads.

23:11So am I being unreasonable for

23:14Abbey Clancy: wanting him to stop talking and actually build a life with me? Or am I ignoring a massive red flag? And should I walk away from him? I'm younger than him. Yes. But I feel as though I'm the one that's needing to give him a kick up the arse at the ripe age of 34. I love, I'd love Abby's opinion on this, as advice is always tough. From one scale scale to another, thank you in advance. If you read this, I love the pod. Okay, I get the dilemma there, but I would like to suggest that, you know, it's not just Abby's opinion on these matters. You know, everyone seems to really value opinion. I've had one person say, I really value Peter's opinion on it.

23:52Abbey Clancy: I am good at advice. Like all my friends come to me for advice. Yeah. You know. You are good. You are good. I have to say you are good. You're better than me. I fly off the handle, but then I can't. No, you are. I value your opinion on everything. Thank you. I really do. Particularly on bone. I think we all value your opinion on bone. Good on bone. You're going to pick the bone tomorrow night. Really? Mm-hmm. Got to decide what's your favourite bone. Really? Pull them pale. Pull them pale. Portland Vale. Portland Vale. Is there a series of bone? I've done this. Stop doing it again. I know you're taking the piss.

24:28Abbey Clancy: No, no, I'm not. I'm not interested. Dilemma. Yeah. So it's always when I get my house, when I move out, never we. No, I don't know. I think that could be a slip of the tongue because I say that. I've got my new house. Yeah, that's why I'm yapping you say it as well. Does it? Yeah. Really? But you'd say it, wouldn't you? No, I don't say it. What would you say? Our house, we. You said a few things recently about that, I, me. Really? I think it's just because I'm excited because I'm doing a reno job and it's like my baby coming to life. It's nothing to do with... Me.

25:09Abbey Clancy: It's nothing to do with your... It's nothing to do with me. Well, no. You've got two rooms to do. I just feel like I'm just here. I'm just around. That's not fair. you're not getting excited over bone colored paint like i am i'm not that's true so there you go well i think she just needs to speak to him i think she needs an honest and open chat just start g and ask him where are we going you know where where's this heading because we've been together for this amount of time you know we've historically talked about when we moved together you know my financial situation do you see me in your life this house are we when you say we need to live together first, are you insinuating we should live together or do we have to wait until I can afford to contribute?

25:59Abbey Clancy: Because that could be a long time. So she definitely needs to know where she stands. I think that's fair enough. Yeah, solid advice. All right then, babe. You know, I think we started on you on the phone, now we're going to end on it.

26:14It's just welcome to my world, really.

26:16Abbey Clancy: Babe, I've got stuff to do. Yeah, but whenever you've not got stuff to do, when's that going to happen? Soon.

26:27Yeah, so listen, you know, I think basically what we've learned out today is don't be a Carl, basically. Don't be a Carl. Obviously on the other pod, Carl is the definition of a bell.

26:39Abbey Clancy: Don't talk about cars. when we went, we were at that actual same place the other day, actually. And Johnny come running over like in tears. And I was like, babe, what's the matter? He said, this Karen has just shouted at me. That's what he said. He said, this Karen had just shouted at me for running around the pool. And I was like, oh my God. And I couldn't stop laughing because he called her a Karen. Oh my God. He's like, mommy, some Karen has just shouted at me. Oh my God. I'm starting to think maybe a birthday party here, is not the future. You know? And then the same breath, I had Jack's, he was just sitting on my knee and I was like, do you love school here, babe?

27:21Abbey Clancy: And he was like, I do, but the teacher's a bit strict. The work's a bit easy and I like a challenge. That's what he said. I was like, oh my God. I was like, do you think? You like a challenge, does he? I like it all. I know, so cute. I'm so funny. Six. Ugh. Yeah, he's a young six, isn't he? He is funny. Good. I enjoyed that today, Pedro. Yeah, well, it's a nice baby. Me too. Yeah, so don't be a Carl, guys, or a Karen. Don't be a Carl. Yeah. Bye. We'll see you soon. Ask me anything. Trevor.

28:01Yep, he's planning another project. So, this Father's Day at Lowe's, tap into free gifts for Dad. Get a free select Craftsman power tool when you buy a Craftsman V20 charger with 2 amp hour and 4 amp hour batteries. Plus, get a free DeWalt power tool when you buy a select 20 volt max XR 4 amp hour battery kit. Dad knows our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Valid through 714 while supplies last. Selection varies by location.