These 7 Deep Questions Reveal Everything About Your Relationship…

0:28Okay, so what do we need? Close your f***ing legs with me.

0:34Ask me anything. Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch. Ask me anything with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch. Hey guys, how are you? Alright mate. I just couldn't notice you doing that chin thing on your mic. It's so funny. I know. I edited the pod last week, didn't I? I couldn't stop. You do do it all the time. It's like a subconscious thing. You sit there like this with your hand like that. I don't know why you do it. it's a lot easier just to move it around like that like hands free while I'm moving it hands free trying to grow his chin on a chinless wonder chin gym chin gym how are we guys geared up for your big birthday to want to pee um yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm taking it cool taking it in your stride yeah I'm I'm just you know we've had abs 40th haven't we you know that's all the birthdays we need this year yeah I'm just boring birthday isn't it you know so I haven't I haven't really done any planning because we've been quite hectic this week with various things I'm not bothered we're going out for dinner yeah that's enough with the fan ball that's all you need you're not getting a new kitchen I'm actually playing golf he said do I mind if he plays golf yeah and I said no because I've got a horse riding lesson anyway as soon as I've been down to the ground but now I've been roped in to go into Johnny's rugby match match oh god which is excruciating i just hate rugby full stop i think it's so dangerous it is ridiculous it's really good for the lads though it is good for them it's not it teaches them discipline like you've seen the way that the rugby people speak to the referees even compared to like football like stuff like that that's only because you play rugby in private schools that's all that is it's a valid point it is it is darling it's not offside Sin bin, sin bin you fucking sense off lad get off the page I think it's good Johnny got three tries the other day did he?

2:34it just looked like Baltic to me they're playing touch rugby yeah it's not like they're not tackling at this age are they meanwhile my new Gucci suede boots destroyed your Gucci suede boots to the rugby deserve all you get I just and then I got stuck in the car park I had to ask this dad to get the car out for me and it's a hire car. And he got in the car and it wasn't like an electric pushback of the seat. It was the old. Oh yeah, cranking. Yeah, and he was like, where do I go? He was about six foot four like that in the car. And then he couldn't move it and then he's stuck and then Scott had to help me.

3:15Oh my, you know he's gone home to the missus as well and being like, crouching the tight ass. He's got Abbey in one of these cars. Like, how old is that car? I had a manual hand pump on it. Yeah, where's the fucking heated steering wheel? You have to wipe the windows down. It's all right, that car. It's quite nice. It's electric, which is just terrifying because you can't hear it. I'm just not used to electric and you didn't have your turner off. No. And I'm all for protecting the bloody planet and all of that, but... Are you? I want to hear my car. Little Greta over there. Greta. Greta Thumb there, yeah.

3:49Okay. AMAs? Let's go. So Pete, remember last week on the pod, I found those questions on Instagram and I thought they'd be really fun to do. So I thought I'd ask you a few questions today. Okay, I'm a little bit nervous. It's apprehensive. So should be. Frost nicks in the air. It's in it. Don't pack, man. Don't worry, they're not too in-depth. Okay, if you lost me in a supermarket, where is the first place you would look and why?

4:21I know. Do you? I think, well. You're just going to say the alcohol aisle? I was going to say Bichy aisle. Yeah. No, I think you're, you could be anywhere. You could genuinely be anywhere. You enjoy every aisle the same. You don't miss an aisle. No. You know, you're very quick. Yeah. You leave me behind. I'm always behind. It's like supermarket sweep. I can't bear you in the supermarket. You're so dilatory. I really annoy her. like I I have a look round and by the time by the time I've picked something off and read it at the back English mustard Alberson mouthwash I'm about to say like look at this baby she's in three hours down she's in cosmetics you haven't bought the old herbal essence in a while no because I've moved on to the old I'm at that time of life where the Alberson caffeine shampoo is a must it's working for you me yeah yeah thanks it's quite I definitely feel it's got thicker Yeah, it does.

5:20So, you know, the herbal essence, basically I've traded smell for practicality. You can always put aftershave in after. Yeah, the herbal essence is a, it's a beautiful feeling, the herbals. But, I mean, it's like silk. It's more style over substance though. At this point in my life, I need substance. I just want, I just want my hair to grow continually. You can easily, there's something to do about it if it gets in. Listen, I'm just taking positive steps to cure male baldness. You need to eat more protein in your diet to make your hair grow. I think my hair's looking good. I think it looks really good.

5:59Amino acids, iron, spinach. Rosemary oil's meant to be good for it. Yeah, I've got all that. What you should be doing is hair masks every night. What are you doing? I know. If you just rub the rosemary oil. Don't get dinner anymore. All this Amiga talking about. Mackie D's for me. Sort yourself out, Pete. Any Amiga in that? I can't think of anything to make lately I know it's tricky with the time of year as well because you kind of want winter warmers but you also want to do your health kick stuff don't you so you really should be eating salads and stuff like that but when it's pissing down outside you don't really want you want a panascosa or something like that don't you I just think I think cookbooks and recipe books I think we get inspiration from them I agree I think we need some inspiration do you just like watching cooking shows like Saturday Kitchen and Sunday Bunch no interest no thanks for asking you know?

6:49No, I... Fucking hell, I was going to get just booked on there, babe. I send myself meals on Instagram daily and they're so easy and I just never make them. Oh, what a shame. Yeah, but it's time. You know, back in the day, the women were just at home in the kitchen. It's all day to prep and buy the food, prep. This is extracts from a 1950s home economics book. Tips to look after your husband. Okay. have dinner ready plan ahead even the night before to have a delicious meal on time this is a way of letting him know you've been thinking about him and you're concerned about his needs alright I don't mind that prepare yourself number two take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when you arrive touch up your makeup put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking clear away the clutter make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives gathering up school books toys and paper etc then run a dust cloth over the tables dust cloth I do all of this I do all of this apart from the meal prepare the children take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces comb their hair and if necessary change their clothes minimise the noise at the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer the dryer the dishwasher all the vacuum well they wouldn't have had a dishwasher in the 50s so that's a load of shit.

8:20Yeah. The very issue, maybe they would have. A dishwasher in the 1950s? Just coming out. I think they probably would have just come out around the 1950s. I think so. Early 60s. Brilliant. Yeah. Things have changed, eh? Yeah, that is hilarious. You've got all of them apart from the meal and the noise cancellation. And the noise cancellation. Noise. Nobody knows Apple headphones. Noise and, um, make yourself Don't look nice. Make the evening his. What does that mean? Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other forms of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure.

9:02He needs to come home and relax. What three words would you use to describe my personality and why? Good luck. Fun. Complex.

9:17And psychotic. Incredible.

9:22Fun, complex, and charismatic. Oh. Yeah, I'd go for that. Yeah. Yeah, good. And I think complex is good as well. I don't think it's necessarily. Yeah, I think, you know, there's a lot. You're deep, which is a good thing. Deep? Yeah. You don't want to be beige and plain and like flat, do you? I'm so light hearted, Pete. No, but I think you're a thinker. Yeah. You care about things, don't you? and your kids and your family and your health and things like that. I think I'm... You're not safe as level. You're not safe as level. These are questions for me, not you. I'm not vanilla. Okay, what would I describe yours as?

9:54Oh, you're going to go for me now. Oh, God. Ignorant. Deaf. And docile. Docile. Charming. No, I'm joking. I would... I would describe your personality as easygoing. one left yeah easy going

10:24submissive submissive you're not aware of that she's fucking made you look alright oh my god just fucking change the subject babe that's horrific she said five words there all of them were shit no joke and lovable brilliant heartless okay they were the worst they were the worst words of all time thanks though babe now I know what you're thinking what's submissive submissive what smell instantly reminds me reminds you of me and why Ariel the big one yeah you still haven't brought me any of them home I have I've got loads in there no we haven't big one what was the very first thing you would say if I called you crying well the obvious really like what's happened I think it's more of like what would you assume was maybe up or how would you comfort her a little bit that's a funny one I was thinking about this when I read it before I wouldn't associate you being like a crier at all I don't think I've ever seen you cry are you that like do you express yourself emotionally like crying or no not in front of people no I cry on my own I've seen you I've seen you crying but not like you wouldn't cry often would you you'd be I know when you're upset you've called me upset

11:42I'm more of a silent I would imagine you're crying at like a puppy video or something like that but I mean like some people I think can be quite highly made with the cry like as soon as you get to an argument with them or something like that whereas I wouldn't think that you're quite like that at all are you yeah what would I say if you're upset no I think we'd just work through it together wouldn't we what's the matter with you oh you jumps just think back to all those Christmases when you got me all those shit presents and I started crying. What did you do?

12:15Fucking hell. I think I just said I'd try harder. I think I was really submissive. You're not submissive. I'm only joking. I was just thinking of words. Okay. What is something you know about me that almost no one else does? Christ, these are hard. Maybe a guilty pleasure, something like that. I'd be too bad as to the myth. Songs, movies, food. what yeah i think a lot of people would see you on this podcast or around and think you're ultra ultra super confident and i don't think you are i don't i'm confident in myself but what i'm i'm loud when i'm comfortable but when i'm not comfortable i'm shy yeah if i told you i'd been arrested what would the first thought to be as of why i had been um there's fucking loads of reasons yeah um i just assume that you would have you know said something to someone that someone got incredibly offended by probably you um yeah i think you might have like you know just hammered someone and said something that and things went a bit too far or that or you're driving yeah straight for a red light or shoplifting came to my mind i don't know why shoplifting just came right to my mind i thought you would have said like drunk and disorderly yeah um if you had to introduce me without using my name what would you say this is my darling wife nice well that was there yeah i would i would have preferred it a bit more depth okay okay you know i'd prefer to do it ever again okay okay noted noted noted clance pedro uh Tudor Bob Ross, my husband turns 30 in March and I've booked for us to go to Paris.

14:02I loved hearing about Abby's birthday surprise in the pod last week and wondered, do you have any recommendations to do whilst we're there? Must-dos, bars and restaurants to visit. My husband and I both love the pod, wrote in last year about some bridesmaid dramas, took your advice of doing what we want with our wedding and not giving a fuck what anyone thought. Our wedding was the best day ever and everything couldn't have been more perfect. So thank you. Okay, thanks from Sarah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, well, Paris. Well, Paris, I don't think you can go wrong. It's just a great city. It's very romantic.

14:35It's beautiful. You could do all the, you know, the sightseeing, the Louvre. The Louvre? The Louvre. The Louvre, yeah. You could do the Louvre, Eiffel Tower, just walking up and down those beautiful streets. Yeah. We went to an amazing restaurant called Giraffe, which is opposite. Okay, did that, yeah? Didn't have one of them in London? You can see it. No, it's not the same. it's called you know Le Jurev Le Jurev but yeah we went to a place called Matignon as well a restaurant which was so lovely and that was like a club downstairs so you can have a bit of a dance which is great a bit like that Amazonica we went to for John's birthday what's good is you eat it's Frenchy but I'm sorry a restaurant and then a club underneath which is a good vibe but all the tourist stuff as well was fantastic a word of warning I would say is there's actually two Notre Dame church as well one's the cathedral and one's the church in the centre of Paris and I on the world's worst weather day got them took control of the maps I was like I'll sort this I was fed up with the girl I was like I'll sort this I'm doing this took us to like the most disappointment Which girl did you take to Paris?

15:40Anna? The girl I was with you mean the girlfriend you live with? Me and my other half my better half and we ended up at like the world's shittest church basically and I was like is this the cathedral? and they were like no I'm absolutely miles away on the other end of the city. Oh my God. So bingo in the end. I like all the little boutiques in Paris as well. And you know, they have the most incredible like, um, antique furniture. Yeah. Roads, which are gorgeous. The patisseries and stuff like that are nice. You've got to get a French onion soup. Yeah. You know, it's just like, as soon as we landed.

16:13You love French onion soup, don't you? She loves it, yeah. I just love it and eat it and cheesy. Snails as well. Don't the boys love snails as well? Yeah. Okay. Good recommendations there, well then. Yeah. Okay. hi guys love the pod i've been a listener for years always giggling away uh to you three uh this question's for abby i'm 28 years old and a new mom to a beautiful baby girl who's only a couple of months old she's my absolute world and motherhood has come surprisingly natural to me all the things i thought i'd struggle with lack of sleep loss of independence etc i'm actually coping with her well but i can't help but think i can't put my body through this again my whole life I've wanted two children especially when because I have such a close bond with my older brother but after a very difficult pregnancy a long c-section recovery and all the soreness that comes with breastfeeding I can't help but think I'm one and done which I feel awful thinking and even worse saying out loud I'm at that stage where everyone keeps asking if I want another child at that stage she's already already i could do the baby part a million times over but the intense pelvic girdle pain for uh six months alongside gestational diabetes yeah uh the heartbreak of miss of a miscarriage a few years ago i just don't think i'm strong enough my question is to you how the hell did you do this four times did you also feel like this um early postpartum or did you feel ready for more uh children pretty quickly after the last would love to hear your thoughts i think the good thing about physical pain is that you actually forget what it feels like and if you did remember pain there'd be most women would only have yeah i didn't think of that no because obviously if you lose someone you know that emotional heart doesn't leave you doesn't leave you but physical pain you do forget the intensity of it and if you didn't you know the the world the population would be a lot smaller because women would only have one baby because i wasn't a fan of being pregnant as much as that that is a terrible thing to say i i was so ill i had every pain and thing going you know vomiting every day for nine months it was just awful but i think it's all worth it when you've got that baby in your arms but i just think for her especially her baby's only two months old she's probably her body she'll physically recover well she will be like the trauma of that it takes months to recover from a c-section i i didn't have any but like um a lot of my friends who did you know that's a huge huge deal yeah um you know you get your tummy cut open it goes through all layers of muscle like it's it's not a small procedure 100 % no no no that's why I don't know why people would choose that to be honest like unless you had to it's like it's it's traumatic it's yeah well what you did I would always recommend because well I did I had an epidural but you know it's sometimes it's not an option sometimes it's too late isn't it or something yeah it's not it's not an option natural birth isn't always an option for people so then they have to do it but her hormones still won't be settle down you know I remember like I think when Johnny was like six weeks old I remember I just cried and looked at him all day and was just crying you know she needs to just enjoy this baby take her time you know we're coming out of winter going into spring and summer she should just relax enjoy that baby and who knows in the future what's meant to be and if it happens it happens I think 100 % and I think two three year age gaps are completely normal well I had a five I had a five Ellie, look at you and Ellie, like that.

19:58We're 12 years. 12 years. 12, is it, yeah. And they're like best mates now. Exactly, exactly. So it doesn't matter. I think just, yeah, I'm with Ab, just go and enjoy your baby and, you know, relax. Don't put pressure on yourself. You know, it might. I think when it starts toddling around, like age one to three, then she'll definitely say I'm only having one. Yeah, I get you. But is it like puppies when you only have another one, they kind of look after themselves a little bit. Well, that's how we found with our four. Yeah. you know they've got especially the three like Sophia's a little bit older but the three just kind of run in a little pack yeah if you can if it's an option I think having a small age gap is so much better but when I had Sophia I thought you know I wanted to spend all my time with Sophia and then when Sophia goes to school have another baby I don't know why I felt that but I did but in hindsight having them close together is a better thing because you know they're all into of the same thing.

20:54You can go to the farm with the baby and toddler and, you know, are you bored, Ross? No, sorry. Zoned out there. Yeah.

21:06Right, this is one of those call to arms little interludes in the podcast, which I hate and I'm sure you hate as well but it actually does make a huge difference if you subscribe because we're making top quality content and if you want more of it, we need you to subscribe so hit the button. Okay, should we move on? Yeah, hi where did abby say recently she'd had a full body scan i get health anxiety too and i've having turned 42 yesterday i'm thinking of getting one what is was it worth the cost and would you recommend over other similar procedures so we recently um both had the ezra body scan i'm a massive hypochondriac and i thought you know we're 40 pete's 45 tomorrow you know we just want a body mot yeah um and you know there are huge statistics to prove that if you catch cancer early you know the the greater chances of it of of you getting rid of it and i think that's a positive but i think with all these things you have to be prepared for some incidental findings because if you looked in anyone's body you know you know someone would have this wrong with them a bit of wear and tear you could have a cyst or so that does come with another level of anxiety um but again you know the the doctors at ezra are incredible to they they listed everything you know from head to toe this is this this is that that's that get that checked that's normal yet there's a cyst here but that's normal obviously i'm just making this up yeah but it's very very thorough and the image imaging is very very you know every every slice it's so thorough so i would highly recommend it um for anyone who can afford it and i know i am giving away some of them on my instagram and that is ongoing because i spoke with ezra and said look i'd love this to be available for some of our listeners and yeah that's really good so yeah okay i think that's good if i haven't Yeah, just head over to Abby's Instagram and see, check out the links.

23:07Well, yeah, because that'd be amazing because they are expensive, aren't they? Yeah, they are. Okay, hi, Abby, Pete and Ross. Great pod, makes today so much better. What would you guys do in this situation? I live in Newcastle with my housemate who I love, but she's a relationship cycler. I've never heard this day. Is she a relationship cycler? So she gets into an intense relationship every year and then breaks up. Since we've lived together, it's happened about four times and I feel like I'm in the splash zone of real ups and downs living together. They also happen very quickly and very intense.

23:40Before we lived together, this was happening, but I never thought much of it and it didn't affect me. But living together, I'm almost anxious for what's next and for myself because the changes create a different environment at home. And I feel like it's affecting my mental sanity, especially now as it's only been a couple of months and she's now met the parents of her fifth relationship. it i don't want to seem judgmental or want her to be upset but i kind of want to just protect myself from the turbulence at home maybe with some space how would you approach this i i think just tell her to grow up close your fucking legs

24:19god's sake yeah i know people who do that they jump in at the deep end and it's just too much I think it's quite common. I definitely think it's common. Yeah, like people just get like, oh, they're just so obsessed. It's so early. Is it bunny boiler-ish? It's just a bit like, yeah, it's a bit intense, isn't it? But when I look back to me and you, we were so intense, weren't we? We couldn't bear being, well, we still can't. We can't bear being apart for a second. I think for this person, it's more to the fact of that if she's splitting up a vest, she's going to be coming home and going, he's left me, oh my God.

24:53Me, me, me, tales of where. And then you just sat there like, God, in two months time you'll have a new fella like bore off. Is that BitBoy cried wolfie? Yeah, do you know what I mean? Oh, my heart's broken. I think it's all a bit like as well, even the good stuff it's like, oh, this is so like it's all me, me, me. In your face. Yeah, exactly. I mean, he's so good. He's so amazing. Yeah. Look at this picture. Look at this. Look at that. Yeah. Oh, he's a bastard. The eyes and nose. As she said, it's too turbulent. Just chill. Chill. relax chill chill pill just let it go you know and if it fails move on that's your option that's a grow up situation I think it's a grow up she loves it she's amazing like if that was my best friend or my sister I'd just be like look I can't be dealing with all these relationships so intense don't involve me don't involve me like yeah okay that's the AMAs happy birthday for tomorrow pizza are you excited?

25:52very you know who's playing golf? yeah you said that there's that it's just fucking birthday let her play a golf well obviously I am but it's funny that that was your go to well it wasn't really but I knew we didn't have anything planned we're going for the evening aren't we going out in the evening did you though no yeah did you okay it's all good isn't it okay see you next week