Underwear Emergencies, Wedding Dramas and Office Scandals | Ask Me Anything!

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2:06Abbey Clancy: How often do you think you should clear out your knicker drawer and get new? Don't ask him. They're the same black undies with the same linen pants on. Oh my God, you're right. Why do knickers and bras go missing? I've literally got knickers. There's only one culprit here. Let me see what you're wearing. So itchy. There's a guy on Instagram that I follow, the Glute King or something. I'll show you. Why are you looking at, like, gym men's arses? You'll see. Look at this guy. Oh, no, he gave me a little wobble. Hello, and welcome to the Therapy Crouch. Ask Me Anything with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch.

2:39Me, Gaz.

2:40Abbey Clancy: And we are in our current construction site, still. Yeah, so, I mean, there is some drilling here in the bedroom brigade. I can't stop saying that He's actually drilling in the bedroom Can you hear that Chris? Or are we good? It's so funny that we are bringing the worst quality audio experience to you guys I don't know I think it's the worst quality I think there is a tiny bit of drilling Do you know what? You'd be surprised you can't really hear it You can't really We did a whole pod in a restaurant remember in New York It was so loud in there We were screaming at each other That actually came across fine didn't it?

3:15Well done, guys. You'll be surprised. I've just given Ab a kiss before we started. Oh, yeah. I've got a tingly...

3:23Abbey Clancy: I told you that. Actually, that's a weekly wine of mine. You only kiss me when I put my lip gloss on.

3:32I think you put lip gloss on a lot then. You must do. You must do.

3:37Abbey Clancy: It's tingly. It's a Charlotte Tilbury. It's tingly, yeah. I quite like it. What was it like? Just like a little bit of spice on the lips? I'll put some on if you want. I'm on the left. Give us a kiss in a minute, guys. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. How's it been? Great. Yeah? Feeling good? Yeah, I'm going to the marble shop in a minute, so hurry up. Yeah, you go to the marble shop. Do you want to discuss your top? Because this is the vintage piece, isn't it? Why? It's nice. Who are you wearing? What's this? I think it's exciting to talk about. It's just like an original 70s top. I've got it in Montauk.

4:14Oh, nice. Oh, nice. Montauk, that's the Hamptons, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks class.

4:20Abbey Clancy: Thanks. Yeah, it suits you. I like the cut-off jeans. Benham shorts. These are my sister's shorts, but she gave them to me because your friend Nick, she walked in in them, and Nick went, what the fuck are you wearing? What the fuck have you got off? Is that what he said? So she said, let's put her off her. Put her off them. Yeah, I don't know if I'm a bit boyish today. It's a cool look. I feel it. I feel like I'm on recess in that cartoon. Recess. Show the cartoon. You always look great, babe. You're just very stylish. I'm not. I've got no bra on because I can't find one. You know, I've got Sophia's knickers on because we're still in the pool room with like out of cases and boxes.

5:02Abbey Clancy: And, you know, why do knickers and bras go missing? I've literally got... There's only one culprit here. Let me see what you're wearing. I'm so itchy. Pete's like, Pete was trying to put an age 9 to 10 pair of undies on today. He's like, oh, there's my pants. No, because my pants have gone missing as well. I'm like, Pete, they're Johnnies. They're age 9 to 10. He's like, oh, there they are. I think, yeah, I obviously did, you know, but I did have a brand new pair and they were silky. They were nice. I enjoyed putting them on. There's nothing better than a new pair of lickers. Yeah, and I had a new 10 boxers.

5:38And I had one, I put one pair on and then they all gone.

5:42Abbey Clancy: How often do you think you should clear out your knicker drawer and get new? I don't like how you're asking me. Don't ask him. They're the same black undies with the same linen pants on them. Oh, my God, you're right. When you say completely get rid, like bin them all, a fresh start. I think, yeah. I've had a fresh nut recently, but then I went to the US. I do yours once a year. Is that bad? Once a year. Because you get about 20 pairs of boxers for Christmas. Is that enough to last a year, 20? It's not enough, is it? Yeah, because they get washed. Spose, yeah. The dark black ones, they're perfect.

6:14Did you just say dispose? No, I said suppose, yeah, I suppose. Oh, I suppose.

6:18Abbey Clancy: I thought you said dispose. Spose. 20 pairs, that sounds about right. I feel like it's a real treat getting a new pair of, like opening a pack of boxer shorts. You've gone off the Calvins though, haven't you? I'd like to breathe a little bit more now. I can't breathe a lot. Are they too constrictive for you? A little bit. When men get older, the ball sack drops. Drops. As if you know that. It is. How do you know that? No. Well, have you not seen Sex and the City? Yeah. Where she sleeps with that old guy and his nuts are hanging by his knees. Is that a problem? No, that's why you feel... The lengthening of the sack?

6:53Abbey Clancy: No, that's why you feel like you can't breathe in the Ty Calvins because your ball sack is... Dropping. Dropping. It's going saggier. Should be. Sacky sack. Fucking hell. I think everything goes south, doesn't it? That's what they say, isn't it? Sacky sack. Sacky sack. That's fucking sad sack. It's what we've all got coming. Old saggy sack ever. Don't, don't, because the fucking nickname will start. Oh, Pete, that's why I call you behind your back. There he is, our saggy sack. Saggy sack. The kids laugh at your bum, though, don't they? Why? They think it's squidgy. Yeah. It's floppy. Yeah, but that's not ideal, is it?

7:32Well.

7:33Abbey Clancy: You've got a floppy bum cheek. Floppy bum. So vie, though, because I can't talk. Fucking hell. But I look like I shouldn't have a floppy one. No, because you should have a solid glute. It should be solid, yeah. Men normally have like... A solid one. It's not floppy, is it, really? It's loose. Mine's loose, though. I need to get... Well, you know, new house, new us. I'm just jiggling my own arse. That's Asda Price. We're getting on it, the health wagon. Yeah. Once we're settled here. Getting on it and saying health wagon after it feels strange. We're getting on it, the health wagon. No, we're going to...

8:11Abbey Clancy: It's the food, the gym. Health is wealth. Yeah, I mean, listen, I've had a green juice this morning. I've had strawberries. I've been swimming. I'm part of swim club again. Yeah? Oh, yeah. You know, I'm active. Back on it. Do you need to... There's a guy on Instagram that I follow, the Glute King or something, but his bum is ridiculous. The Glute King? Bum is... What are you going to say? No, as in stupid ridiculous. Oh, like muscular? Why are you looking at gym men's arses? Well, you'll see now. Don't be getting gel. Here we go. What's his name? I'm just saying, the shoe is on the other foot.

8:49Oh, yeah, you could be. Oh, there's this yoga teacher arse on Instagram that I follow. It's the world. That's literally the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But imagine I said that. It's the double standards of the family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's females in general.

9:01Abbey Clancy: There he is. The double standards is outrageous. If I said there's this female gym instructor, oh, for fuck's sake. Is that a joke? What does it look like? That is so hard. Is it bad? It's like a... So he teaches girls how to... You shouldn't be looking at this. He teaches girls how to grow their butts. Up on your knees and then get on all fours. You'll bring one leg straight back and you're going to perform 25 straight leg kicks. Do you think it's attractive to you? No, it's not attractive to me. Is it? No. It is, isn't it? That is disgusting. What the hell? Look at that position. What's he saying?

9:50Look at that position he's in. Oh, look. Oh, no. Look at his kayak. Oh, no, he gave him a little wobble.

9:57Abbey Clancy: Yeah. He gave him a little shake. Then he goes into that position. He's famous for girls. He grows girls' butts. So, like, all Victoria's Secrets models work with them and stuff. Do you think I should have a go at that, then? Grow your bum on that schedule and see if I... His is outrageously, freakishly big. He's had some injections there. That's something going there. Mind you, it did jiggle, though. They don't jiggle, do they? How do you know? I don't know. Well, it would look like a rock. So, when it's a bolt-on bum, do they not really move? If you have an injection or whatever they do to them, they look like they'd be hard.

10:39I don't know.

10:40Abbey Clancy: But yeah, so he trains women to grow their butts because with age, that's one of the first things that go. Right. You get pancake ass. Right. So he teaches you. That's not ideal. Is that a pancake? Long back. Is that what they call it? Long back. Is that me? That's weird. No, yours is in the right position. It just feels squidgy. That's not a bad thing, is it? Not a really bad thing. Squidgey bums, all right? Let's feel. Go on. You can feel it later. I'm sitting down. For the video watchers, there's a treat. It's not... That's not going to work. It's not as jiggly as mine. Feel mine. Yeah, but yours is...

11:19I like yours. Chris, do you want to come over and feel mine?

11:23Abbey Clancy: Let's feel yours, guys. Mine's just flab. Yours is fantastic. It's one of your key features. Why are we talking about this? I know. Let's move on. Let's move on. We've got a message from Maury. Hey, before your Q3 call, I've got the campaign brief ready, built from last quarter's data and the competitive landscape. Great. Did you include the differentiation angle the CMO asked for? Already in there. Three angles no competitors using right now. Just need your approval. Approved. Thanks. Oh, agents, where would we be without you? Hmm, somewhere with a lot more tabs open. Create your first Monday agent in minutes at Monday.com.

12:08Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's back to school time, which means many of us are going to be busier than ever. But from getting out the door in the morning to enjoying delicious meals together at the end of the day, Whole Foods Market can help with convenient options and delivery. Plus, because it's Whole Foods Market, you can feel good about the quality of the ingredients. Shop back-to-school must-haves at Whole Foods Market, in-store or online.

13:01makeup, hair, etc. Am I missing something? I don't mind doing my own hair and makeup and buying my own shoes, but she's asked us to be bridesmaids, so surely she should cover the dresses.

13:11Abbey Clancy: I think it depends on your financial situation. I think typically the wedding hosts would get the dresses and maybe you get your own shoes. She says for context, the wedding isn't local, which means we have to pay for overnight accommodation. To be honest, we're all a bit skint. what are your thoughts lots of love Maureen P.S. my name is not Maureen interesting way to sign off

13:38Abbey Clancy: I think it's a tough one because you know it depends again on your financial financial situation people might not be able to afford to pay for 10 dresses I don't know what the etiquette is but you know being a bridesmaid and I'm a maid of honour for my sister you know the thing is you've been asked to do it and you know if you can't afford a dress at this precise time, how do you go about that? It's like you have to get it, don't you? It's a tough one, isn't it? Or you don't go. Yeah. I personally would like to provide the dresses and the shoes and the hair and makeup. You know, in that position, you know what I mean?

14:19It's a tough both ways. Maybe have less bridesmaids. It's a good start.

14:23Abbey Clancy: Don't get married. Maybe don't get married. That's a great call. They're all very expensive. I think there's things that are more important than getting married these days. Yeah, I agree. Agreed. I do think that. I would just get married on your own. People want the big wedding still, though, don't they? Yeah, but mind you, I'd like my daughters to have big weddings. Would you? Yeah, I'd like to do them here. Yeah, I would like my daughters to have a nice wedding. You've got to pay for it? I know. I'm hoping that I'll be in a position that way I can. What is it, Father of the Bride traditionally pays for the...

14:59Yeah, I didn't fucking see any of that from your dad.

15:06Abbey Clancy: No, my dad's tight as a duck's arse. Bloody hell. When I was a little girl, I used to be like... He bought me a beer. I think he might have bought me a beer. Oh, that's nice. He didn't buy you a beer because we had a free bar. Yeah, but he has bought me lots of beers over the course of his life. When I used to say, Dad, can I have some money to go out with my friends? He'd give me like 50p. Would he? And my friends would have like a fiver or a tenner. and he'd give me like a pound. I'd be like... Oh, God, love him. I'd be like, are you messing? I used to tip up... He had like a money jar and I used to tip it upside down and get a knife in.

15:37Abbey Clancy: And you put the knife in, they'd all slide out the coins. Would they? I'd be like, I'll show you. Get all the pounds out the penny jar. My dad used to leave like change, you know, like get a shower. Don't have change anymore, do you? No, but he used to leave like his trousers on the landing. Oh, yeah? And did he have a few... He might have had a few beers. He'd have a wild night. But he'd have, like, six or seven quids. Just in his pockets. And I'd be like, perfect. Yeah. Seven quid and shit. Bosh. Same. Perfect. That is funny. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, I can see it both ways. I think she just needs to talk and explain the situation, be like, look, you're going to have to meet me halfway here because I'm not in the financial position to do this.

16:20Yeah, I think that's fine to say. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Yeah, agreed. Good advice. Come to some sort of arrangement. Bizarrely, this is from Jeff. Abs, Pete and Gaz.

16:31Abbey Clancy: Not my dad, to clarify. I've got a mate. Let's call him Wazza, because that is his name. And he deserves it. He deserves it. He deserves it. He's just got engaged. Lovely girl, really nice. And I'm the best man, which brings me to the problem. Three years ago, on a stag do in Prague, Wazza did something I'm not going to say. what, let's just say, involved a hotel corridor, a fire door, a woman who is not now his fiancée, and for reasons that have never been adequately explained, a traffic clone. Okay. Intriguing story. Nothing too dodgy happened. He didn't cheat. In the most technical sense, it was a victimless crime, but it was weird.

17:15All eight of us saw it, and we all made a pact never to speak of it again.

17:18Abbey Clancy: Oh, it sounds like Gavin and Stacey. However, he's now asked me... Yeah. He's now asked me to do a proper roast of a best man speech and has specifically said, don't hold back, mate. Get the good ones in. And the Prague thing is, objectively, the greatest story in his archive. And I'm being asked by the man himself not to hold back. But his fiance will be in the room. Her nan will be in the room. There are children invited. So my question is for you guys. Where do you draw the line? I'm dying to know what this is, by the way. Can we find out what the story is? When I draw the line in a best man speech, don't hold back genuine invitation or am I about to fuck everything up?

17:58Abbey Clancy: He could just allude to it and start his best man speech with holding a cone. Oh, that's good. Has anyone ever said something on the wedding or a wedding you've been to that went too far and never came back? Pete, footballers' weddings must be a minefield. Cheers, lads, Anne Abbey. Yeah, I think that's a great shout from you. I think he shouldn't tell the story, but he should allude to his best friend that he is. Yeah. So when he gets up, he brings a cone with him. Great show. And he'll be shitting himself the whole time. And then he just tells story after story after story. And then... Just say, this cone signifies the story that I am going to finish with, this speech with.

18:41And then do a whole speech, watch his face. Just shoot himself the whole way through. And then say, don't worry, mate. The cone stays with us. that's nice that's the one isn't it that is quick thinking that's genius

18:52Abbey Clancy: or you could pick the code up and go congratulations

18:57don't worry it's like Bryn's fish and shrimp isn't it yeah yeah that's spot that was quick thinking from you I think that's good little prop little visual game great shout what was that one in Gavin that said I'd like to raise a toast that always used to get me and you'd hold a bit a bit of bread do you remember that that's an easy one that's an easy one isn't it I'd like to raise a toast I've seen that one have you not I'm into that It's so good.

19:19Abbey Clancy: Gaz, do you fancy reading a little AMA for us, sister? Yeah, go on then. I'm going to read Kaylee. Here we go. Hiya. Okay, so first of all, Pete and Abs, you owe me a new pair of headphones because I laughed so hard at the crab dance one on the bus that I yanked them out and dropped my phone under the seat. Worth it, though. Listened since the very first ep. My whole family listens now, including my nan, who pretends to be scandalised but loves it. Right, my question. it's about my workplace and it's fairly unhinged. I work in a small office 11 people and we have a secret Santa every year. Usually it's always a laugh and good fun except last Christmas someone brought our boss a very serious buttoned up man called Malcolm who does bless him have a slight body odour issue.

20:03Oh no. A can of Lynx Africa is his gift. He obviously didn't see the funny side. That probably smells worse than beer. I did that. We did that to a certain footballer at Liverpool. Did you? Yeah. I won't repeat Okay, of course You won't want to know You know, we all think He smells a BO But, yeah That was We did the Secret Santa That was ruthless at Liverpool How did that go down? Remember we got Rafa Jose Mourinho's book Yeah, and we bought him A leather jacket And a leather jacket Because he started wearing a leather I don't think that went down too well

20:32Abbey Clancy: Someone bought a single player An actual bird Because he didn't have a bird As a girlfriend Yeah, one particular player Bought someone a bird It was a canary An actual canary? An actual canary and he had to take it back to the pet shop. It was ruthless, some of these secrets. Yeah, that's outrageous. But yeah, someone got a whole load of deodorant. Oh my God. How can you be a footballer and smell of BO? Because surely... Well, I watched him, he'd get in the shower and then he'd just get to train out. He'd wet his hair and then jump out. Oh. Literally, yeah. Because that's what I was about to say, you'd train and then you'd all get in the showers.

21:10Yeah, so he'd jump in the shower and then just jump through.

21:12Abbey Clancy: So he wasn't the longest in the shower then? No. It's very quick. I suppose it's hard to not avoid the BO being footballers. You're running all the time, sweating. No, but you wash it off straight away. You wash it off. BO is stale sweat. Is that what it is? Yeah. Oh, yeah. When you think about BO, no one should have it, really. You don't smell when you sweat. If you leave it on, that's when it's stale sweat. Oh, God. You know sometimes that you, like, get in a car or something like that? Can't deal with it. It's not ideal, is it? No. I mean, we probably have an extension of BO now. No, you don't.

21:46Abbey Clancy: You never have BO. I never do, do I? No, I don't. I've never had it. But it shouldn't really happen, should it? Because we're clean. People do. There is a problem with it, maybe, sometimes. No, but everyone knows that one person with BO, don't they? Yeah. You know? What do you say to them? Just like gently, just to say that. How do you broach it? Broach that subject? No, I think, I mean, you're good at it, but you just tell them straight. Would you? Yeah. Like if it's someone close to me, yeah? Would you? I think you'd want to know. I'd be like, you stink, me, oh. You need to get the shower right now.

22:18Abbey Clancy: I've heard her say that. Really? To a grown adult? Yeah, get that outfit in the washing machine and get in that shower. I've heard that. Have you? I don't let people in my beds until they're washed. Really? That was like the... The Scouse guy? That's like Gaz, isn't it? Yeah. We met this... Scouse family. Scouse family. And he said when he used to come home as a teenager, of pissed as mum used to make him and all his mates get in the shower or get a bath before they got into a bed. So funny, she said we're like three in the morning and he said that his mate came home, they came home and obviously they're in the cab going, are you going to get a shower or a bath?

22:57Abbey Clancy: Be like, I'm going to get in the bath actually. Oh my god. That's hilarious. And so they'd all have to, not together I'm assuming. You know Kaz. I just think that's hilarious. On the way home, you're going to have a shower or a bath. But you know, Kaz, like if she goes on a night, well, when she goes on a night out, she'll obviously get shower before bed. But she cleans her shoes, cleans all her shoes and puts them back in the bag, in the dust bags and in the box and away. Even when she's 10 out of 10 pissed. Really? Fair play. It's dedication to the cause, that. But, you know, there's times where you wake up in your shoes.

23:32Do you know what I mean? How would you think of that? Like, you can kind of take them off sometimes. Yeah. so to put them in a bag in a way that's mad yeah

23:40Abbey Clancy: but she can do it 10 out of 10 paralytic yeah that's good going let's just be part of the routine probably so Malcolm didn't see the funny side he went angry, pale he left the room and we've never found out who did it it's been a full year there's only 11 suspects we've basically become a full time murder mystery office trying to figure it out I'm not joking everyone suspects everyone Malcolm trusts no one two people have left unrelated but is it and Secret Santa this year is coming up again and there's genuine fear in the building So my AMA, how do you move on from a workplace scandal when the culprit is still among you?

24:11Do you cancel Christmas? And if any of you got into a situation so weird, you couldn't look your colleagues in the eye. We all need closure. Love you guys. Keep it up. Kayleigh from Basel then. Yeah.

24:21Abbey Clancy: I'd just buy the links after her again. I just think... Double down. Just keep buying it. Double down. If they still smell as well, just keep buying it until they don't. I think that's great banter. Just don't own up to it. Office pants. Just keep buying it. Yeah. I remember this reminds me of when we went paintballing with Liverpool and Harry Kuhl got shot from the pen. The out pen. I told this on the Peter Crouch pod. What's the out pen? What's the out pen? So, you know, if you get shot, you have to go out. You're right. You have to go out. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know when you get shot, you go out, right?

24:56You're in the out zone. So, there's loads of losers. But Harry Kuhl's taken it really, really seriously and he gets down on all fours and he loves it and he's good at it. and one of the lads went, fuck it, look at him. He loves it. Look, I'm going to shoot him. So he's there and he's got a shot on top of the helmet. Actually, one of the funniest things you've ever seen while he's in the out zone. And he was like, that's what are you? How did he notice from the out pen? Because he's really into it and he usually wins. Oh, really? He got shot from the out pen. It was one of the funniest things. He's come in and he's got the wrong person.

25:34and he's pinned him. He's fuming. I've never seen him switch like that. I was quite worried. Do you know what I mean? It was like he was going to fight. Yeah, yeah. Full on. It was a proper fight, right? And he's pinned up the wrong person. I said, everyone's gone. No, that wasn't him. It wasn't him. And he was like, where the fuck was it then? Which one are you? Like, started on like this phone. It's never been revealed.

25:59The person who it was didn't say anything. and we all went do him on a conk grass so everyone's gone wasn't me but you know who it is I know exactly we saw it happen can you tell me off camera I can tell you off camera but I think to this day I think he's probably still viewing yeah like I don't think he's let that go Harry Kuehl yeah God love him but it was one of the best moments of my time at Liverpool

26:26Abbey Clancy: there's nothing worse when you like get accused of something and you haven't done it but you know how funny it is when someone's that angry and you think you're trying your best not to laugh because he's so angry. Oh, it was brilliant. That is beautiful. Well, that was time flies and you're having fun to stay. It really does. Yeah, I've enjoyed that part today. Yeah, me too. That's been class. It's good, you know. I'm more excited to get to this. Oh, you're going to the Marvel shop, aren't you? Enjoy, yeah. I want you to come. I'd love to come, but I... You wouldn't, though? Stop lying. I know.

26:56That was such a lie. You've got no interest. No, I have. I just like spending time with you and if Marble excites you I'm on board oh god that's true I do this feels like a perfect day for a pint though don't you think have one the weather's gorgeous have one the setting's gorgeous I've got draft oh you're joking I swear to you I do yeah don't have one beers are on me let's see what we can do but yeah it's a perfect day let's do it

27:21Abbey Clancy: yeah well we'll see you next weekend yeah we'll see you next time ciao ask me anything ciao bye

27:32At Boar's Head, we've been going back to school for over 115 years. And this year, every school lunch is reason to celebrate with the flavors your kids love and the exceptional quality you expect. Helping you make school lunch fresh, easy, and delicious. Ring the bell. The deli is open. Orzette, committed to craft since 1905. You know that feeling when too many things fall through the cracks? Monday.com was built for that gap. The AI work platform where people and agents work side by side to deliver more together. Create your first Monday agent today at Monday.com. Now at Lowe's. Faster quotes.

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