What Actually Happened?!” Abbey and Peter Crouch REVEAL Mallorca Wedding Drama!

0:00Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance, and some pay as little as$0, depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments.

0:37You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc.

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2:38For another pro, you. Go to bombas.com slash audio and use code audio for 20 % off your first purchase. That's bombas.com and use code audio. I'm not a hugely emotional man Obviously X Factor gets me But I'm pretty stoned I quite like this self-design You've been a heartless Hello Therapy Crouch I was laughing so much on your last podcast About someone finding intimate toys in the bedroom Our listeners are filth With regards to your family I bought that like sexy like PVC thing Those are the days Game's gone now Hello and welcome to The Therapy Crouch with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch. Me, Gaz.

3:21How are you guys? Oh, we're exhausted from the wedding of the century. Oh my God, I've heard all about it. Gaz, honestly, I have never, ever been to a more incredible wedding in my entire life. Really? From start to finish. Every single day. From little details to the people, the weather, you know, just the mood. You know, it was just magnificent, wasn't it? I'd like to echo that sentiment. I genuinely think, like you say that, you know, this was a beautiful wedding, this and that. This is the best wedding I've ever been to. Yeah. I'm including mine. Even better than ours. Little bitch. It was weather, setting, people, drinks.

4:07Food, drink, company. Music, entertainment, family. everything was spot on. It was perfect. It was absolutely perfect. It was incredible. I saw online, it looked another level. I didn't take one photograph on everyone else's video, on everyone else's videos and filming everything, but they're not on my camera. They're not on Pete's camera, they're not on Sophia's, so someone in that wedding has got all my pictures. Great footage. Well, I'm hoping it was professionally filmed, so, you know, professional photographer. They had Drake's photographer. Well, there you go then. On some stage, I think there will be some lovely photos that emerge.

4:49But it was absolutely sensational. What a great group of people as well, you know. The Irish contingent and the Scoush contingent merged together. Two clans there, two epic clans. And I think, you know, a lot of fun on both sides. I was saying to Scott and Elle, like, how many weddings can you go to, right, where I think I could have sat on every single table... And had the best time of your life. And had almost the same fun as the one I was on. That's amazing, yeah, well put. And I'm raging from like, you know, I sat down with some of the older people at the wedding. I had just as much fun with them as I did with, you know, some of the younger ones.

5:25So whether you're with the older Lucinda, who every match, she was so glam. It was Catherine, Scott's mum's friend. And she was so glam, the bleach blonde hair, all set. You know, you could tell she's been an absolute stunner. And every guy shows her, she's like, oh, who are you? You're fucking gorgeous. I'd love to jump your bones but I can't like that she was just sounds like Sean Connery oh my god she was a mate no she's from Dublin is she Dublin that's my Dublin accent but it was every single person we met and obviously I know most of them like the gang of friends yeah but to meet the wider family it was just out of this world my sister just looked incredible didn't she she really did yeah Yeah, she really did.

6:15I sobbed. Sophia and I walked down the aisle together as Maid of Honour and she's a bridesmaid. By the time I got to the altar, I had no makeup left on. Really? Because I just cried it off. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. No, but I'm not a hugely emotional man. Obviously, X Factor gets me. I'm an X Factor. I'm pretty stoned. You were crying last night to watch something in bed as well. Yeah, I did, yeah. What was that? What was that? The littlest hobo? No. What was that? That was an awards evening as well, wasn't it? Oh, it was the... Royal Variety? Was it the tennis? I was crying at the tennis speech when he was thanking his mum.

6:58When Ben Shelton was thanking his... No, when Zeverev was thanking his mum. Zeverev was saying he was diagnosed at six years old. Four years old. With type... One diabetes. One diabetes and his mum. the doctors and all the, you know, said you'd never play, obviously, sport. Elite. This and that. Alicia, he was just saying, you know, how it takes a powerful woman. I just did. Next to me, I was like, I was crying anyway, because, you know, I would. I love Zavreve, he's my favourite tennis player. You know, I'm softening. You're softening. I'm softening. Well, anyway, you know, bear in mind, half my woman's, my family, you know, that I've created.

7:36Yeah. Walking down the aisle as well. So, you know, Elle, our class is, you know, kind of one of my own. You know, I've known her since she was 10 years old. Then Abby walks down with Sophia. I've got Liberty as a flower girl. Johnny and Jack are walking down. You know, it was only Geoffrey, only the dogs that didn't come down. You were the only person from our whole family who didn't walk down the aisle. Yeah, but I was a groomsman up the other side, like. Yeah, that's true. So I was involved. Everyone was involved, yeah. Yeah, we were heavily involved. but you know very much it was a fantastic wedding well listen I've got a million questions for you guys for the body of this episode but to kick us off do you have any wines for each other or any shines maybe I think wine wise obviously I've got a weekly wine for you I'm sure I've started it I'm very sure I've started that one it's this stitch up because you know we joked about me singing with Lewis Capaldi Shallow so obviously there's this thing Now, it's so embarrassing that people everywhere we go, especially with this group, because, you know, the Irish, they all have the Irish songs on.

8:43They're all singing. The most incredible singer, Aaron, who's actually on tour with Ed Sheeran at the moment. Oh, nice. Aaron Rowe. Oh, my God. If you haven't checked him out, check him out. Okay. He is phenomenal. But anyway, so I think everyone thinks, I think I'm an amazing singer. and wanna sing this shallow so like everyone's having a having a rave in the disco the lights are flashing the djs are on amazing like dancing music and then i hear and then shallow comes on lewis grabs the mic and then i i like have a heart attack try and run away and then you know have to do it but yeah you know it's getting to the point now where it's not even funny It's like everyone's like, oh, God, not again, Abbie.

9:31And it's so embarrassing, but you make me do it all the time. Well, yes, because I'm very proud of you, see? So, like, that's what I don't understand is obviously you get all embarrassed, right? But I'm like, fucking grow up, you know what I mean? If you've got a gift, like imagine Sophia or, you know, Liberty, and they were like, oh, I'm too shy, I don't want to do it. You go grow up, you've got to grow a pair, you've got a fucking great voice, let's go and sing it. If I had your voice, I would be, I'd be everywhere. Because I would just be up, get a load of this. So Lewis and I started, but we, Lewis started it, I joined in.

10:07But we were so pissed, we missed our cue, you know, we were out of time, offbeat. But it was done. Anyways, so, you know, it was my little claim to fame there. It was a long, it was a long wedding, you know, and this is probably day two of a big, big, you know. I'm slightly husky myself, as you can hear. If I was a singer, I might struggle, you know, with a voice like this. I think, you know, everyone was feeling that way. And everyone was pissed. Did you sing? Did you sing anything? No, I didn't sing. Well, I sang a lot, but just not with the microphone. Just not on the mic. Not on the mic. Our daughter, Liberty, sang.

10:41Okay, do you want to get into this? She sang the first dance. But I remember it was so funny because as we were walking into the room, Scott was trying to announce, you know, Lib was going to sing. and I grabbed the mic and went, and he went, will you fuck off with that song? And I was like, I'm only joking. And then Jack was crying on their first dance because Jack also wanted to do the worm to their first dance. And I was like, Scott was like, no, he's not doing the worm on the first dance. But Liberty sang and again, everyone was just hysterical crying. She sang Sienna's Spyro, Down the Hill.

11:22and I thought it was a really really lovely touch from Ellie and Scott because that wasn't their first dance song but they did that for Lib because Lib was like I'd love to sing for you that's phenomenal yeah it was just every every everywhere you looked and every hour there was another special personal touch and um to be in a room where you know especially Scott's mom Catherine everyone you know recognized of all the lads from from when they were very young for being you know the most incredible person and always looking out for them and it was just it was so special to be in in the room wasn't it with them all I feel like crying already it's a really close-knit group and you know I think all the lads were like oh well you know we might have overstepped the mark, stayed round, been out too late, this and that.

12:18And they all loved my sister. My mum was always kind of there, looking after them, making sure they were all right. And I think they were all, as a group, recognising the role she's played in them becoming the men that they've become. It was very emotional. Are you going to cry? No, I'm all right. You all right now? I'm going to my stony self. I feel like this stuff, does that even? You've been a heartless bastard for fucking 20 years. Only the last year you've started. It was softening up a bit. That sounds epic. We'll get into it in more detail. But do you want to start us off with some audience wines?

12:57Alrighty. I've got Liz from Leeds. Lizzy Leeds. I have been, guys love the pod. I need a ruling and I need it fast because the invitations go out next week. My fiance wants a child free wedding. Sorry, I've read this earlier, so this brings me up to my weekly wine, which I'm going to direct straight at my sister afterwards when you're in it. Oh, perfect. My fiance was a child-free wedding, which I'm fine with in principle, until I found out that the one exception he's making is for his sister's kids because they're different. Different. They're not different. They're the same feral children who destroyed my mum's conservatory last Christmas.

13:37So now I'm the one who has to tell 40 other guests they can't bring their own children, while three specific toddlers get the golden ticket. How do I hold a line that my own fiancé has already kneecapped? See, this is an issue. I'm going to direct this to my sister, Elle, if she's listening. She did this the wrong way, the other way. Yeah, she invited us. She invited us because they were an integral part of the wedding. So my other brother, Sean, his son Caleb was there. And of course, Caleb's 11, same age as Lib. So Caleb wanted to be with our kids. And then my other cousin's daughter, Sienna, was there, who's also the same age as Lib.

14:18So not only did we have four children, we had six in our room. They all stayed in our room, right? Did they? So we had six children in our room. Jesus. Yeah. And no one else had any. My mum was there. My dad was there. Everyone was lying in bed till 10 o 'clock. And do you want to meet us? Oh, no, we're having a nice quiet one on the beach today. Oh, are you? That's nice. Because we went to bed at three, we're up at seven with six kids, taking them all to breakfast, matching outfits. It was like... That's unbelievable. I'm like, we've all had a nice time. And, you know, I eat in the morning, I'm in the fucking ocean.

14:55Fucking children hanging off me like I'm an orangutan. Oh, my God. To be fair, though, the kids, like, we literally couldn't have faltered the behaviour. They were amazingly behaved. But, you know, you need that. sleep you need that bit of privacy yeah you know but yeah everyone was like you know no one answered the phones till like 12 o 'clock and me and Pete were in the sea 8am. Unbelievable I feel for you guys I mean that you know what it's like when you have kids you kind of signed up for that right that's fine but it's when everyone that you know who's got kids hasn't got them you're like why are ours here at this precise moment but they had a great time I would have changed it really you're not going to believe what happened to us before the wedding no what happened all our flights got cancelled you're joking no the flights you'd booked cancelled booked to go well it was that whole like it was that where the whole of the UK airspace she grounded us down yeah that was the day we were flying what was that all about the whole of the UK shut down what makes me laugh it was like the whole wedding party went on Monday including my brother who works with us.

16:07Everyone, but they set us to work Monday, Tuesday. Yeah. Wednesday, we thought we'll try and get our work done so we can go. We didn't, so we couldn't. And then woke up to our, your flight's cancelled. Jesus. So we missed the wedding rehearsal. No way. Yeah, it was a disaster. Well, take us through that. So how did you get there ultimately? What happened? Well, we managed to find an alternative route. which was actually beautiful we landed on our feet put it that way an expensive way to get to the ones oh I see I see I was by hook or by crook it was like we had to get we had no choice you had all the suits and things didn't you I had the groom's suit you couldn't miss that I was looking at it and the day before I was looking at it in the lounge can it's just been cancelled and we were like how the fuck is that going to get there I was like Scott you're going to have to get yourself to Zara in Parliament because there's no way we can get to this wedding.

17:04Oh my God. I had four of the groomsmen suits. I had loads of L's things. I had all the goodie bags of the bridesmaids. It was, but we got there in the end. Well done for getting there. Yeah. What would have happened if you couldn't? What if there was just no flights for anyone for a week, let's say? Would they have had to carry on? Scott would have had to put them cold Buxton shorts back on. He would have, Yeah, it would have been a pair of swimming trunks. Yeah. Oh, well, it's all this story. Oh, it's great, isn't it? Well, well done for making it. Oh, hello, Therapy Crouch. Sorry I've lost the lingo with your names.

17:42I was laughing so much on your last podcast about someone finding intimate toys in the bedroom. I have a few items, as Avi would refer to. One of them is the bullet. They're small, but sometimes necessary. Anyway, I hide them away in my dressing room table next to the bed. Are listeners a filth? I kind of love it. Long story short, my six-year-old daughter found them and put them in her bag and proceeded to bring them to a play date in the park. Words cannot describe my embarrassment when she took them out to show her friends. But for future reference, please, please hide, hide your intimates.

18:17I don't have them. Regards to your family. I don't know if she means that or not. That's an interesting one. That's outrageous. Outrageous. I couldn't imagine that. No. I couldn't imagine that. to a play date in the park. Yeah. I think my most excruciating story similar to that one is when I bought that like sexy, like PVC thing and R.L. He was like eight years old and put it on and came down with it on, remember? Like crotchless and everything. What the fuck is that? Those were the days. Those were the days. Well, that's when we first got together. Now I'm like fleece dressing gown. Game's gone now.

18:57The eyeballs. all right babe do you want to do alex from yorkshire alex from yorkshire hi i love the pod i've listened to all the episodes in the last year one after another pete often mentions that when abby and her friends get together they all talk over each other i've just listened back to the episode with scott and l and i'm a proud yorkshire woman who can talk and listen at the same time but on my life i cannot keep up with this episode which i find hilarious but also i now understand when pete says they all talk at once i can imagine the hen do and the wedding was like this but times a thousand was this the case keep up the laughs guys alex how was it imagined like that irish scenario it's like full hammer as well is it yeah but like yeah i mean that episode i've seen a few comments from that episode it was very much like fuck me they're all talking at the same time i think for a podcast if i'm being totally honest i think it probably you should have stepped in and told us to shut up I loved it I was in Spain to be fair listening to him I loved it I thought it was great it's fun but yeah I read them comments and they were like it's nice to see a raw real unrobot like pod where people are just being organic and talking so I think it actually flipped the other way what was it like on the hen do was it absolute carnage of chatting 19 girls together 16 of them being from Dublin you know it was pretty raucous but it's the same but even in the wedding everyone talks at the same time and then the more drinkers like no one can understand anything that each other says and then you know the scouse accent all of a sudden seems you know as posh as the queen when you were drunk Dubliners you can't understand them because people normally can't understand me.

20:51What I like about the Irish in general, right, well, especially this group, is that we had a few days of stuff going on, but if there's like a lull in play, all of a sudden someone will just break out into a song and everyone will join in. And they're like, fuck me, then it's just going again. It never doesn't go. It's always going, isn't it? Always going. Full send. Superb. Superb. Sounds like a super musical wedding then. sounds like everyone's just singing songs all the way through yeah but that's in the music industry as well so there was a lot of you know musicky people there but it's just all the irish that like a few of the lads have got bars and dublin and they all get up on the mic and the rhyming and singing and it's just fabulous yeah isn't it yes it's top that sound epic okay uh i've been driven to write in by my own husband uh what can i only describe as this war on the correct volume on the television.

21:51Here is how it goes. We sit down to watch something. It's too quiet. He turns it up. Then there's a quiet, tense bit of dialogue. Still too quiet. He goes up again. And then without fail, an advert or action scene arrives, booming like a rocket taking off. We both leap out of our skins. We do this. This is us. Do you do this as well? Yeah. The baby wakes up two rooms away. Then he lunges for a moment to bring it back down. And we do this every single night. We do this every night. I think there is a certain thing where they do louden up the ads. Yes. Because, you know, if you're relaxed and you're watching a series and the ad comes on, bang on, get one free.

22:27It's true. It's true. Do you know what I mean? It's like, woo. Used to work in advertising. You remember that? That is true. It's true, actually, yeah. You know, it's a thing. Big spill. Big spill. Booming. Three TV. Yeah. Literally. It's a bit much. I just don't want that being your catchphrase. Why not? Oh, it's a good catchphrase. Is that wrong with that? people like that it's a good ad that's a good ad anyway he's never once learned he treats each other each evening as a brand new problem he's encountered for the first time like a goldfish with a sky subscription I've suggested subtitles he said they would distract him I've suggested he leaves it at one sentence more volume it looks to me like I've suggested resell the kids so my wine is really just why are men incapable of a middle volume and it's their support group for those of us who are being slowly deaf and one evening at a time.

23:17Do you agree, Abs? Also, what volume does Peter Blaster footy at? It's the bane of my life, shouting over the chants and cheers. That's from Rachel from Nottingham. Oh, yeah, good question. I know Pete will never let it land on 13. Oh, it's an unlucky number. So it's either 12 or 14. Oh, really? Not around 20, 15? No, I think there was no 13 at all. Obviously, that's unlucky, right? Unlucky for some. Kind of what in general annoys me. Really? I've got to be even, really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so weird, that. Why that? That's so not weird to me at all. Is it not? I think it's totally... If someone left it on 13, I'd go like...

23:59What are you doing? Do you know what you've done there? I hate the way kids have the volume, so we'd come in and it'd be on like 95, and you're like, oh my God, what's going on in here? Like, we have our volume quite low, I'd say. Quite low. Low is better. But then what I don't like is when, like the speaking voices are quiet but then you know a heli there'll be a helicopter scene so you hire it up to hear the voices and then there'll be like a helicopter scene it's like deafeningly loud i don't like that and i've got to stand in her husband's corner here because i do think it's something to do the settings on the tv it's been like dialogues low but you know a car chase is really loud it's just i don't know what's going on with it but it's too you can barely hear them I'm totally screwed when you're not in the room.

24:43So when we're in the hotel, Pete took the kids to dinner and I just couldn't do it. What do you mean? I was dying. I was officially dying of alcohol poisoning, I think. And I just, I said, Pete, I just can't. You know, the thought of getting ready. I just wanted to get a shower and get into bed and got room service. I got a club sandwich, a truffle pizza and vegetable soup and choco brownie. and just had one tiny bite of everything because I just couldn't even. I thought, no, when you're like, I'm starving, then it comes, I'm going to be sick. But I couldn't work the TV. I couldn't get the channels on.

25:20Then I was watching the Green Mile in German without subtitles. And, you know, I can't do anything TV-wise without Peter. So, you know, can't change the language, can't change the sentence, couldn't even get the menu on. to just go up and down on the channels. So there you go, I am a real man. You are a real man, yes. I feel like, I feel very proud. Yeah. You wouldn't have the German green mylon. You'd fix that. Not at all. You'd fix that. I had a question actually about the wedding. In a hot country, so you were in Majorca, right? That's where you were. Do you get, like you're talking about the person all doled up, would you get sweaty throughout the day?

26:04You'd have a hot place. So you wouldn't believe it to the whole week, apparently, because obviously we arrived the day before. Yeah. It was like 33 degrees. And, you know, it was sweltering. The day before for the wedding rehearsal, torrential rain. And Elle was just like, I can't believe this. God. And then the day of her wedding, it was glorious sunshine, but it had dropped to like 20, 25 degrees. And it was a 5pm wet. Because normally in Mallorca, four o 'clock, it's kind of the heat ramps up and it just goes oomph. so hot um but it was perfect okay you had those sunny blue skies the incredible sunset but no one was sweating amazing that's a dream set it was literally this wedding couldn't have been any more perfect if you tried and that's like and she just what did she look like peace oh my god therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough it shows up in the smallest moments.

27:08You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like, and that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance, and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends.

27:49You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. This ad is sponsored by ZocDoc. Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start.

28:32I find that's especially true when you move. It's hard to find your people. I've been there, which is why I use ZocDoc. Now, as a busy podcaster, parent, and someone who's always juggling a million things, I love anything that makes life easier. And ZocDoc lets you search and compare local in-network doctors with over 250 ,000 providers across more than 200 specialties. You can read reviews from real patients, find a provider who feels like the right fit, see actual appointment openings and book instantly. I recently had a last-minute health issue pop up and needed to see someone fast. Instead of calling around or sitting on hold, I found a doctor on ZocDoc and booked an appointment in just a few minutes.

29:10It made the whole process so much less stressful. Now, taking care of your health just got easier. Download the ZocDoc app today. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C, and book that appointment on your to-do list. well let's talk through it so the first question was for you abs watching your little sister get married were you blubbing in the aisles yeah describe her dress as well her dress was phenomenal and we went together to the wedding shop in colchester because i found this designer that she wanted it was the only place that did it and it was you know she thought she wanted some kind kind of fitted lacy number, and she ended up in a princess dress.

29:51It was silk, basque, all tiny corseted with a huge tulle skirt and a huge train. And she just looked phenomenal. And the guys at the wedding shop made Libs dress to match. Aww. And then all the bridesmaid dresses with kind of fishtail with a train cowl neck in the same kind of ivory silk. look and everyone just looked, you know, my dad was like, I have never seen so many good looking girls in my entire life. He said, I'm thinking of actually moving to Ireland. Go on, Jeff. They were just, they were gorgeous. Everyone looked gorgeous. And I, I'm not a crier, but when I saw Elle in her dress and I just could not stop.

30:37Really? She just looked out of this world. I'll put some pictures up, but I haven't got one. so I'm waiting for them that's a sign of a good time as well yeah you're taking it all in exactly we've gone old school because all the young girls are like what's your email I'm going to set up this like webinar one thing and I'm like how'd you do that and they're like just upload I'm like sorry I can't do that no idea don't have a laptop yeah don't have a laptop that I've never had yeah it's like we're going to share them all on this whatever it's called like a G drive or something yeah similar question to you then you've been part of the family for such a long time How was it for you?

31:13Like, how do you reflect on the day? Yeah, just like our abs words, really. Just, I just had the best time, like, personally. You know, I'm pleased for Elliot Scott. You know, it's all about them. It's about how we feel. But I was just so proud of kind of my family. I was proud of them too. And then I was just like kind of blown away by how everyone kind of loved each other there. Do you know what I mean? Like, everyone had a story to tell about each other and, you know, Scott's friends, it's a very special group and I actually tell them all the time, and I did it on, you know, probably pissed that night.

31:49I told them how special the group is because I don't think a lot of people have that many lads who will die for them, do you know what I mean? And like, they make each other laugh and they rip the piss out of each other, but they actually really, really care for each other. And I'm like, that's a really special thing. And I've got that with my friends, like five of my friends, but we're not as good at keeping around. We're all scattered all around with different families and this and that. Yeah, yeah. We're probably worse at kind of making sure we all get together. They get together on a regular basis.

32:22They talk on the phone regularly and they make sure that they never have each other's lives and I just found that really powerful. Yeah. That's so lovely. It's hard to do, isn't it? That is hard to do. Sticking on like the best men then. Especially when like me and Pete and hate humans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I dislike a lot of humans. like honestly especially I'm getting older now I'm like yeah like I charge you know I'll be I'll be friendly to you but then I'll move away very quickly and then but with them I'm like fuck it I actually like all of them yeah I couldn't believe that so wedding then I did I don't think there's only one person I I disliked genuinely not one amazing well sticking on the lads then the best man speech uh from the previous pod with Scott and Elle he was a bit of a loose cannon he was described as right how did it go the best man was scott's brother owen okay how did he do it was phenomenal blew everyone away everyone was just i'm crying thinking it was might have been speech of the day really just they had their friend riley who is like um he married them but he made it so personal he wrote all his own words and it was very personal from when he met scott when he met el loads of story it was just phenomenal then killian was kind of the master of ceremony kind of keeping everything together and making sure the day ran smoothly and he'd often break into song and tell stories make people laugh cry he was sensational and then owen who was scott's brother did the most powerful speech and there just wasn't a dry eye in the place it was um i can't even tell you how good everything was it was phenomenal wasn't it yeah and my dad's speech my dad's oh how did he do my dad was amazing was he so the wedding's set and it was in this like old finca and it was a huge courtyard and there was fairy lights and olive trees and all the table costs with white old tables white tablecloths like the most beautiful um crockery and flowers oh wow my dad told this speech where like how amazing l was as a little girl and how i was so awful i had to be locked in a cage and fed peter through a hole in the wall i was like what are you talking about dad and everyone was like but it was it me dad was amazing wasn't he because he's so funny he's so funny and all scots made to like make it go and my dad was like oh my tell a few jokes later and they were all like no one like go on Jeff I think you should do it you should do it then he got up stopped all the Irish songs and told these two jokes oh can they be repeated on the pod I've got no fucking idea what he was talking about but he was he was amazing apart from me being locked in a cage getting fed pizza through a flap which no one knew what he was talking about his speech was phenomenal it was yeah so good got to ask did anyone embarrass themselves on the dance floor any robots I suppose I think I mean that award probably goes to me I think I was I was probably the most embarrassing on the dance floor I mean you were outside for a long time because you didn't know where the party was I was in there on my own for three hours there was a there was a point where there was hardly I think about three people in there I was still going for it The courtyard bit and everyone, it was all set up with these bars and people going around with champagne and beautiful tables, candle lit.

36:00Then there was a room where we went for the first dance and where Libs sang. But then I didn't know off that was the disco, which was all set up with lights. They had the DJ decks and everything. So I was like, you're coming in for a dance. I'd poke my head and go, just dead in there. I'm going to stay out here and have a chat. Missed the whole dance and all night. Oh, no. but Pete came out saturated good lad shirt open to the waist you know going in he had like lads on his shoulder there's no one in there and I said no and I was like oh it was full on for me and oh phenomenal did Jack get to do the worm in the end did he worm his way around no because they went home they went home because it was quite late oh so you got a few hours to yourselves then yes okay that's good thank god after the first dance we had Lee wait and doors open engine on get them in see ya i think we were trying to walk past to the bar and he just fucking kidnapped us in a car okay one of the last questions i guess is did anyone uh did anything go wrong that you can laugh about now or would you say anything was it all gone off without a hitch there was a lot of drama beforehand wasn't there but then every single thing worked it's for hell There was one thing that was hysterical.

37:17One of the lads, Nathan, had his tag on his suit, the security thing. Yeah, the things that you have to get taken out of the shop, the little plastic yoke, yeah. The security tag under his arm of his suit. So that was just so funny, wasn't it? Incredible. He actually wore it on the day as well. Well, he had to. We had no choice. He's not bothered. That's so good. He looked sharp, but he just had the security tag on that. What a ledge. Oh, my God. and then of course there's a day two right that's how the Irish do it which would have been your day three probably at that point so they did the day before which was a big barbecue at their villa so they had like a chef there and DJ and drinks obviously we stayed far too late so the day of the wedding we were all dying the bridesmaids and the bride all had to be at the venue early so that was hell for me and then day two I was nearly in a coffin but after a couple of cocktails we were back we're livened up yeah what is a day too like though because I saw I saw something on social I think Adam Rowe was maybe singing and playing Aaron Aaron sorry Aaron Rowe Adam Rowe's the Scouts comedian isn't he and everyone's drinking the beers and stuff but everyone looked a little bit worse for wear or was a little less no no do you know what because it was like a beach club it was during the day yeah it was a nice day On the sea.

38:41On the sea. People were singing. Very quickly, did you? You kind of didn't feel bad. You reached the hangover, yeah. It was great. It was lovely. Amazing. Guys, it sounded phenomenal. It was. I'm jealous. Congrats to Ellie and Scott. Congrats to those guys. I'm sad that we've got wedding blues. God know how she feels. Yeah. She'll be on a big come down now, won't she? Yeah. Back to Normalee. It wouldn't be me without a little quiz. What's that? It's just a tiny little quiz about... You know me. I love, I'm like the resident pub quiz host. Love a quiz. I love a quiz. Just a little one. You know, last week we had Kate Daly on the show.

39:16We did all the divorce facts. I found some interesting wedding facts and I thought I might throw them to you like a quiz. So it's just five questions. Nice and easy. Chosen by nearly 10 % of couples. What is the UK's most popular first dance song? What do you think? Perfect by Ed Sheeran. Oh, it's a good shout. It's wrong, but it's a good shout. What about you, Avs? I don't know the names of any songs. I Will Always Love You or something. That's a good shout. You Look Wonderful Tonight. You Look Wonderful Tonight. By what's his name? Is that Eric Clapton? Yeah. That one. Is that Eric Clapton? Beautiful tune.

39:56It's actually Unchained Melody. Do you know that one? Oh, my love, my darling. You got it. Oh, Ghost. What year have you got this one from, sister? This is Barry right now. This can't be current. It says, ahead of Etta James' At Last and Adele's Make You Feel My Love. Apparently those are the other contenders. I'm sure I heard somewhere. It was perfect for me. I would have thought that. No, that's Johnny's... That was number one, the day Johnny was born. I just... I thought I heard somewhere. It was that one. Oh, really? Number two, what's the average cost per guest at a UK wedding? Cost per guest?

40:31Oh, God. How much per head? If you can have someone come round. I reckon... This is just a one-day affair, though, I imagine. You're going for? Yeah, just the one dayer. Only£100 a head. £100 a head. Not bad. What do you think? I'm going to say£150 to£200. You're a bit closer. Yeah, the average cost is£278. So basically, I think it's basically food and drink. No, because I'm thinking just food. I think with drinks, probably about£350 a head. Probably, for a lot of booze, yeah. Well, it depends on the booze standard. £278 is the average. But close, well played. All right, roughly one in five UK weddings take place abroad.

41:11True or false? I'm going to say true. False. It's true. Yeah, 20 % now happen abroad. So Ellen's got a bang on trend, as you would take. His favourite saying. I think, you know, to plan a wedding abroad like that and get everything so perfect when you're not on the ground. Yeah. you know you have to have immense trust in your wedding planner and the people who are working with you because you know ours didn't go that smoothly and we were in freaking uk leicester for that matter fuck's sake right the last two were a bit of fun but i thought they were actually fascinating right why does the bride traditionally stand to the left at the altar anyone know i didn't even know that yeah apparently so i just has the guess i wouldn't have known this at all.

42:03Is it something to do with the ring? The rings? The hands? Ooh. It's to do with the hands. It's, yeah, clothes. It's in the olden days, the groom might need his right hand, his sword hand, his strong hand, to fight off rivals who want to take the bride and snatch her. Really? Yeah. Apparently that's true. Medieval days. What if you're left-handed? That's a good point. Yeah, that's rumbled immediately. Get on the right, you.

42:33Yeah, how mad's that? And the last one is similar. Why do bridesmaids traditionally all dress the same as the bride? Or why did they traditionally? Just so the bride stands out, I imagine. It's actually the opposite. So she'd blend in. So it was ancient Rome. They dressed the same to confuse evil spirits. They couldn't tell who the actual bride was and then target her. We're all learning on this pod. What do you think? Was that fascinating? Yes, that was really, really fascinating. All right, I won't do it again. That's all good.

43:06Gaz's wedding quiz. It's a wedding quiz. I feel like it's not going to catch on.

43:13Babe, I'm going to get some agony abs. Maybe swiftly off from that shit quiz. I've lost my job as quiz master. Abs being Gaz, okay, this is so stupid, but it's genuinely threatening my marriage before it's even started. Me and my fiancé cannot agree on the first dance. I want a proper song, something with meaning, our song. She wants to do a choreographed routine that starts as a slow dance and then in her words drops into something upbeat and fun to surprise everyone. Ooh, original. I've seen the videos. She's sending me on TikTok. I'm not a dancer. I move like a deck chair being folded away.

43:50She's only gone and booked us lessons. I've got four months to become someone who can body pop in front of my entire family or I disappoint the woman I love on our wedding day. Is there a diplomatic way out of a surprise dance routine or do I just have to learn? P, you must have had a first dance situation. Help a stiff man out. James, so firstly, why would you think I would be stiff? Slippery as an eel. Smooth. I'm a mover and a shaker. I think I hate those dance routine things. Do you? I think they're a bit try hard now. I think the first one. Fucking tryhard's not the word I'd use. It's absolutely cringe to death.

44:32Yeah. Like, I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, but for me, that takes the piss out of what the wedding... It's a fair stance as a newly wedded couple. And it should be sentimental. I agree with, like, having a couple of little sways together and then getting everyone involved. But I think body popping and all that, it's a bit crass, isn't it? Is that what you guys did? A few sways? Just like that kind of rocking back and forth. Very, very lovey and kissy. That was cute. What did you say? Lovey and kissy. Which is, it's quite scary doing your first dance, to be honest. Yeah, but then you're like, get involved, and one jumps in and you all just have a big party.

45:17Yeah, but each to their own. When you, because I'm not married, when you have that first dance, do you kind of block out the noise and are you just like just you two together in that moment or are you hyper aware of where you are and what's going on? No, I think you try and block everyone out, I think. Yeah. Well, I was quite good at that with Dust Bowers football. You know, there is a lot of noise around you and you have to focus on what is important. Focus on me going, don't you be standing on my white shoes? Standing on me dreads? Yeah. Yeah. obviously Ab's a fantastic dancer as we've proven I was a bit shit but I just kind of moved with her he's like the wind I think if you're going to have a little go or something go for the dancing manoeuvre at the end how many times have you dropped me doing that?

46:12I always have a go I think do a nice dance and then produce that one at the end, that's a belter That's a belt of that. And then spin it around. Yeah, you did pick me up and did a few spins. No, that's nice. Yeah. But I think dancing lessons with your husband separately is a fun thing to do. Yeah. Like as a hobby. You know, long-term poly vibes. Yeah. Bit of salsa. Yeah. Rumba. Don't let it affect your marriage. Jesus Christ, only a dance, isn't it? You know, talk it out. I think there's too much pressure in a wedding anyway to have that. To learn something like that, that big for it, yeah. I know what you mean.

46:50I'd be worrying about it all day. I'd be like, oh. I'd be like, oh. I'd be like, oh. I'd be like, oh. Yeah. All right. Hey, Clance, Chinas, Wonder and Black Undies. My husband and I. Skitty undies. Oh, fuck off. My husband and I got married last year. We did the honeymoon fund thing instead of a gift list. It basically said, contribute to our dream trip to Thailand. Except we've now spent all of it, not on Thailand, on the boiler, which died in November, then the car, and just sort of living. Oh, God. Now, every time I see the relatives who have chipped in, they'll ask how Thailand it was. And we have to lie.

47:24Oh, no. We've been lying for 10 months. My nan thinks we've seen elephants. Oh, no. I haven't even seen Portsmouth Airport. Do we come clean or do we get back to saving for Thailand and go, hey, so we need to cover our tracks? I'll ask you genuinely. It might just be TV to put the fights that keeps the eye going. I'm not sure how... I mean I'm not sure about that are you? No I I actually don't think that's right but you know needs must if you know you've got that a pot of money sitting there and your boiler goes and you know that's the only way that's the only way but I think you know that fund was created for you to make special memories from your wedding and you know if you asked your nan to give you some money for your new boiler she'd probably tell you to piss off so you know I think You can't not have a boiler.

48:16Can't not have a boiler. But I think you should, for themselves, they should have kept that money to go on that trip of a lifetime, to have that sacred time together. Imagine when your nan comes round and says, you know, what were they like, the elephants? I thought they've got bloody AI or whatever it's called, AI. Yeah. That's a good point. That's true. To impose yourself on a few elephants. Said no one ever. Such a good shout. Yeah. Have you two done Thailand? Have you ever gone? For a day, yeah. For a day? Went for monsoon season. I hated it. It was obviously, it would have been nice, but it was monsoon.

48:54It was full on monsoon. The weather was shining, was it? The beach was closed. And there was only like old men on the flight. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just like, this is not for me. Well, why just a day? Was it just... Because it was monsoon season. Because it wasn't going to stop. Because we're in a hurricane. Right, right, right. It was a disaster, basically. We went to bed in a hotel. It was a lovely bed. No, we went for a nap. We had a nap. I woke up 12 hours later. And flew home. We got up and it was still raining. And we went, oh, fuck. We just went home. The jet lag, we were exhausted.

49:29We thought, let's give a little nap before dinner. Woke up the next day evening. Oh, my God. And it was still raining. We were coming inside. The beach was closed. The restaurants were shut. The elephant sanctuary was shut. The whole of Thailand was basically closed because it's monsoon season. It looked like a lovely hotel, though, didn't it? It was an incredible hotel. It would have been lovely. Yeah, they do them well, don't they? We'll go another time. You're going to have to, yeah. It's good fun. You'd have a great time. Okay, well, listen, you know, that's kind of that. It was an amazing wedding.

50:00You know, thanks for all your wines and your acne-ups. Yeah. We had the time of our lives, and, you know, hopefully they continue to have the time of their lives. Amen. Amen. Amen. That's it.

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